Mistied: MST ADVENTURE #2
Goest Ryder
(Deep 13)
Dr. F: Well, Beelzabubblehead, I thought we'd skip the
formalities and go directly to the invention exchange..
(SOL)
Tom: Wow! That's something I haven't heard in a long time. Mike: Wait!
We had no idea..
(Deep 13)
Dr. F: Fine, I'll tell you what, let's get the
commercial break over with and at the same time, since I'm in a good
mood, will let you have a few seconds to get your act together.
(SOL)
Crow: I'll get started!
Mike: We've got commercial sign..
*************
It is a cologne for the real man. The man who is at
one with himself. The man who is at one with nature. The man who
hears.....Nature's Call. Wear the fresh scent of Narture's Call all
day. Go ahead, leave your mark. Nature's Call pour homme.
***********
Mike: Oh! We're back. Jeez that was quick. Anyway, on
with the invention exchange.
Crow: I'm sure you've all noticed how
when some people wear toupees that they never match their real hair
color. Well, we down here at the SOL say to go ahead and have fun
with it! We've combined the advanced technology of mood rings and
have come up with: Mood Toupees! Tom: Hair color to match your
mood! What do you think?
(Deep 13)
Dr F:Weird...definitely...marketable...maybe. Anyway, funny I should
bring up marketing because Frank and I have a new venture.
Frank: That's right. We've decided to do our patriotic duty and exploit
the emotionally tormented money laden dieters with New! Super Slim
Quick.
Dr F.: What the consumer gets is a canister of pure
dehydrated water. They add the special Slim Quick filler (sold
seperately) and have a delicious glass of water for breakfast, and
one for lunch, and have a sensible meal!
(SOL)
Tom: That is EVIL!
(Deep 13)
Dr. F: And you seem so suprised.... Anyway, your
experiment today is a fanfic, interestingly enough about you, and is
entitled "Wheel in theSky"
(SOL) Mike: Hey, wait a minute, I've
heard that this wasn't bad...
(Deep 13) Dr. F: I can only tell you
what the person who sent me this said: It is nothing personal, and
that she is only using it because there have been jokes that she was
wanting to tell, and found that this was the best way to do so:
with this fanfic. You might understand. Send them the movie,
Frank...
(SOL)
All: WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!!!!!!!!!! (1..2..3..4..5..6)
>Mystery Science Theater Adventures Number 102 Reel 1.........
>"Wheel In The Sky"
>In the not too distant future, December of '95
>Dr. Forrester saw no reason to keep Joel and Mike alive
Mike: They weren't getting the ratings they used to..
Tom: Sorry, babe, I just loved the show, it spoke to me, and I
tried everythingto make Tartikoff happy...I even gave him a
tummy rub. Nothing doin kid.
Mike: Oh, and right at the holiday season, too.
>His experiments complete at last
>Severed ties with the Satellite
real fast
>It drifted off to an unknown place
>The Satellite of Love was lost in space.....
>Joel and Mike were frozen, for over 300 years
Tom: About the same length of time as your average TV dinner.
>The Satellite drifted all the way to the edge of the final frontier
Crow: And was given a new premise by Micheal Piller: "Star Trek: A
dog bone shaped sattelite.""
>Now keep in mind the S.O.L. was about to meet its end
>So a ship crew rescued Joel and Mike, along with their robot friends....
>ROBOT ROLL CALL >Cambot....Gypsy....Tom Servo....Crooow!
>Now in a refitted S.O.L., they tour the Milky Way
Tom: Oh, so we've become a tour company for senior citizens.
>And think to yourself, "It's just a file", and let the story go
where it may
>On MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER ADVENTURES!!
>(shot of the hall...the 7 doors close...Joel, Mike, and the bots
are playing poker. The monitor (used as a TV) is also on)
Mike: No, we've been refitted to be a riverboat gambling casino.
Crow: We aren't in Louisiana, are we?
Mike: No, you would be hearing some drive-by shootings
right about now.
>JOEL (to Servo): OK I'll see your 50 and raise 100
>CROW: And I'll raise you another 50
>MIKE: Betting is just too easy when you don't use money!
Mike: Ha ha! I said it, pal. What am I saying? This is getting
weird.
>(shot of the small burnt-out circuits being used for chips)
>MIKE: ...but I think Gypsy and I will drop anyway...too much
>against us
Tom: Oh, man, all this money is making me wreckless.
>TOM: And I bet all I have....read `em and weep!
>(Tom shows a royal flush)
>CROW: AH! Tom wins....AGAIN!!
>TOM: It's easy when your face can't make expressions...I have the
best poker face in the entire domain!
Mike: No, I think Al Gore has a leg up on you.
>TV ANNOUNCER: And now it's time for the hottest game show on
>Tantalus III...
>TV CROWD: LOSE YOUR LUNCH!!!!!
Mike: A show about a 98 pound weakling and a group of kids out for
his lunch money.
Crow: Hey, I heard this show wiped out the
competitor's show " Heart Burn for Hundreds"
Tom: And Love Connection. Chuck Woolery was no match.
>CROW: Hey, my favorite show's on!
>JOEL: Isn't that that show where players have to throw up if they
>answer question wrong?
>TOM: Yes!!! Vomit! Bile! Little stringy things!!
Mike: You know...the things you find in a hot dog.
>Not much worse than TV back in the 1990s!
Mike: Shh! I heard that Micheal Medved had himself frozen just to
come into the future and continue his work.
>(15 minutes into the show...everyone is watching)
Tom: (snicker) Because this show is so *engrossing*!
Mike: Do it
again and die.
>TV HOST: And who won the Phlegm Wars of '66?
Crow: The computer hackers?
>TV PLAYER: The Blaargisians?
>TV HOST: NOOOO!! The correct answer was the Spitwadics! Now
>let's spin the wheel to see how you will LOSE YOUR LUNCH!!
>(Wheel spins and lands on area marked "Madonna's Armpit")
>TV PLAYER: No! Please no!
>(Picture of Madonna's armpit comes to a screen and player vomits)
Crow: How can you compare Madonna's armpit with the truly disgusting
terrors of the universe?
Mike: Yeah, I mean, Madonna's armpit looks
about as germ free as the next...
Crow: How would anyone know
enough about Madonna's armpit to say whether or not it was
disgusting?
Mike: Unless you were Sean Penn. Crow: Maybe that's
what caused their breakup!
Tom: Would you two knock off the armpit
talk!!??
>CROW: Oh man! I feel really sorry for him!
Tom: Why? He got to see part of Madonna.
>TOM: Nobody should have to take THAT kind of torture!!
Mike: I agree. Someone, cancel _Full House_. They've outlawed it
in Turkish prisons. The least they can do is cancel it here.
>TV HOST (to player 2): You win!!! You win the grand prize of
>500,000 plutons! And you get to come back tomorrow when another
>challenger tries to make you....
>TV CROWD: LOSE YOUR LUNCH!!!!!!
>TV ANNOUNCER: If you would like to be a contestant on LOSE YOUR
LUNCH, just call communication code 77226394756 and ask for Gert.
Crow: He will direct you to a meeting place in the back alley where
you give over the money and they give you the negatives. Hey, we're
just a covert operation like everyone else, folks.
>(Mike gets on the vis-a-phone)
>JOEL: Mike, what are you doing?
>MIKE: I'm going to be a contestant! Did you see what the winner
gets??
Tom: A date with Gert? I wasn't paying attention.
> Imagine what we could do with 500,000 plutons!
Mike: If only I'd known then what I knew now. All I could buy was
the Velvet Elvis in the gift shop.
>JOEL: You don't even know what a pluton is!
>MIKE: Come on, Joel! It's gotta be what they use for money around
>there!
Tom: But what they take Traveller's Checques? Man, these trade
sanctions are hell on the tourist.
>Besides, what have I got to lose....except my lunch, that is.
Crow: And possibly, your dignity. But that's never bothered you
before. Mike: I'm warning you...
>(phone is answered on the other end)
>MIKE: Can I speak with Gert please?.....Yes.....Hello,
Gert?.....I'd like to be a contestant......Lose Your Lunch.....Your
Lunch......LUNCH!....
Crow: (as Gert): Sorry. I just ate, but you seem like a nice guy.
Maybe some other time?
>Yes .....Mike Nelson.....well I have no address I'm in a
>spaceship.....the Satellite Of Love .....
>18673684772.....Yes?.....Thank you.
Tom (as Gert): Great! I've got his pin number! Let's buy $10,000
in fuzzy toilet seat covers.
>(Mike hangs up)
>Scene II: The Television Network
>GERT: We have another contestant, boss!
>BOSS: Good. When will he be arriving?
>GERT: 3 days. His name suggests he's a human!!
>BOSS: A human?? Well! It seems that Dandee may have his favorite
>food after all.
Crow: Crocadile Dandee? So, that's where he's been!
>(A stagehand drags Player One (the loser) into the office)
>STAGEHAND: What should I do with him, boss?
Mike: Give him this clown suit and tell him to meet me in the alley
in 10 minutes.
>BOSS: Throw him to Dandee....I won't have Dandee losing HIS
>lunch! HA HA HA!
Crow: You mean they're going to give him raw food? Don't they care
if he gets worms?
>(The stagehand throws him behind a door and locks it. Numerous
>chomping sounds are heard behind the door followed by a loud...)
>DANDEE: (B U R P)
Mike: I'd hate to see the size of that tic tac to combat the
smell...
>GERT: Gruesome!
>BOSS: Well you know it IS the law here....
Tom: Jell-o bath on Wednesday?
>anyone who loses on a game show has to die!! Ups the stakes a bit,
>don't it? HA HA HA HA HA!!
Mike: (as Gert) Gee, boss, I've been working here for two years and
know this, but if it helps with plot development....
Crow: Why only five HAs? That doesn't seem natural..
Tom: Well, HA! to the infinite wouldn't work...
>Scene III : Satellite Of Love
>(Mike is studying up on the history of Tantalus III)
>MIKE: And it says here that a mercenary group called the Burks
>tried to over-throw Queen Damox in the Spam takeover of 2215.
Crow: How can Spam take over something if it was never alive to
begin with?
Tom: Maybe they're talking about credit spam.
Mike: No,I don't think so. There's been a couple of
times when Spam took its revenge on me.
>TOM: Man, these books read like one of Crow's science-fiction
screenplays!
>CROW: I heard that!
>JOEL: I still don't know how you expect to learn all of this in 3
days!
>MIKE: Well, I'll learn all I can and hope to get lucky! Besides,
the questions are very general in content.
>JOEL: Maybe it would be better if you studied somewhere quiet and
>relaxing. Say, the bubble room?
Tom: I don't *even* want to know what that room is used for.
>TOM: Yeah, there you can study in peace and quiet while we cause a
ruckus over here!
>MIKE: Well, OK
>(Mike enters the hall and sits down between doors 4 and 3...the
bubble room...soap bubbles fill the room while Mike relaxes with
his books)
Mike: And the Corbel commercial runs through my mind..
Tom: Wait! Here comes Lawrence Welk! This is a torture chamber!
>(Joel and the bots notice Cambot keeps staring toward their
destination)
>JOEL: He just keeps staring at that place...I wonder why.
Tom: Yeah, and he has also been so quiet on this trip...maybe he
should switch from Decafe.
>Scene IV: 3 days later
>(Crow is quizzing Mike)
>CROW: And who was the captain of the Haratical Fleet in '36?
>MIKE: Blowdigger....Captain Jondo Blowdigger.
>CROW (flipping pages in one of the books): And the current
President >of the Splaranatical nation? Hmmmmm?
Mike: Richard Simmons?
>MIKE: That's easy, Marafa Gallopodophillo
Tom: Why does that sound like a disease you don't want
to discuss in public?
>CROW: I think he's ready!
>MIKE: Ready as I'll ever be! It's just too bad that they don't
allow any outsiders in the audience! I was hoping you could be
there to watch me win 500,000 plutons!
Tom: You mean the outsiders by S.E. Hinton?
>JOEL: That's OK....we'll be watching you here.
Crow: (as Joel) As soon as he leaves, high tail it on out of here!
>MIKE: Well, time to go.....Porting 1
>(Gypsy fires up the new transporter and Mike ports to the TV studio
on Tantalus III)
Tom: Time to go, guys... Mike: Are you sure? Well, OK..
(6..5..4..3..2..1)
(On SOL) Tom: You know, Mike, I was wondering why we're still in
that flea trap when there are probably alot of coolspace ships out
there.
Mike: Yeah, I know. It's kind of like my parents still
driving the El Camino. "I don't care, son, it still runs!"
Crow: Yeah, so why are we riding in it? And who, pray tell, would make a
sattelite into a space ship?
Mike: Maybe someone paid for it,
like the government.
Crow: We know the government's handywork. Why
would we want the equivalent of a rubberband propellor put on the
sattelite when a premade space ship would have been cheaper?
Mike: You, my friend, have asked the question that scholars and fry
cooks alike have been asking for years.
Tom: So, what uses would the
government get out of making the SOL ready for space travel?
Crow:Maybe we're now a travelling billboard encouraging astronauts to
stay in school.
Mike: No, I think they were under their spending
budget for repairing things with a yellow interior.
Tom: I know! Maybe they wanted to see how far an object the
size of the sattelitewould have to travel before they couldn't
see it any more!
Crow: No, we would be a standard object to compare the size of the planets
too: We know Pluto is the size of 8 SOLs....
Mike: Maybe someone has a big dog that likes to play fetch.
Tom: A book mobile!
Mike: Our sole purpose: To make sure the other eight planets are orbiting
the sun...
Crow: Well, I don't remember paying any politician a
huge bribe...
Tom: Galaxy wide pizza delivery. If it isn't there in
30 days, its free.
Mike: Well, I don't know. I just know that I
would trade it in for a new model.
Crow: Especially since we've
been trying to escape from this ship for 6 years. (Lights flash)
All: We've got fanfic sign!
>GYPSY (staring towards planet): Good Luck!
Tom: Huh? What's this from?
Mike: Oh, the author forgot to get
this line out of the way before we left.
>Scene V: The TV Studio
>(Mike appears in the office of the boss)
>BOSS: Welcome, Mr. Nelson! We are glad you could make it to the
>show! We just have a few things to tell you before you start.
Number 1: The images we present if you miss a question may be too
much for most to bear. If you feel like you want to vomit, just do
>so! Number 2: If you vomit, you can clean it up during the
commercial breaks!
Mike: Number 3: Ignore that blue spot growing behind the quiz
panels. The health department is coming in next week to look at it.
>Remember, the name of the game is LOSE YOUR LUNCH!!!! Got it?
>MIKE: Yes sir!
>(Mike goes onto the stage and sits behind Podium 2)
>STAGEHAND: And on 5...4...3...2...1...go
>TV ANNOUNCER: And now it's time for the hottest game show on
>Tantalus III....
>TV CROWD: LOSE YOUR LUNCH!!!!!!
>TV ANNOUNCER: And here is your host, Bendar Tarkelleso!!
>(Crowd cheers)
>HOST: Hello and welcome to "Lose Your Lunch", the game of our
>planet's history where the losers lose not only the game, but also
their lunch!
Crow: Oh, I get it! It's a new republican plan to make kids learn
or they lose their lunch privilege.
>Kav, who is our first contestant??
>ANNOUNCER: He's a human from a starship known as the Satellite Of
Love, Mr. Mike Nelson!!!
Tom: But not from Jefferson Starship. If he were, he would
immediately be killed on the spot.
>HOST: And our champion?
>ANNOUNCER: He's a Tantalan...
>(Mike is nervous)
>ANNOUNCER: ...who won numerous awards for his knowledge of
history...
Mike: And teacher's pet who now sits at home drinking beers and
watching amateur flyfishing with his 15 lovely kids in his spacious
trailer home in the hills of Arkansas...
>(Mike is worried)
>ANNOUNCER: ...Mr. Hentad Jopewkias
>(Crowd cheers!!)
>HOST: OK, here are the rules. I will give you questions. If you
>get it right, you get 10 points. If you get it wrong or do not
>answer, you are shown a very disgusting picture.
Crow: He must mean what life would be like if Rush Limbaugh's show
replaced this one.
>If you can stand it, you get 5 points. If not, you will....
>CROWD: LOSE YOUR LUNCH!!!!
>HOST: OK....first question to Mike. IN what year were the
>Splarkeds of Hinter built?
>MIKE: 2166
>HOST: That's correct for 10 points!! OK, Hentad. How did the
>Malarkans drive out the Dizeqezoids in 2235?
>HENTAD: They doused them with chocolate.
Tom: Then they emotionally battered them by telling them what a
filthy house they keep.
>HOST: Correct for 10 points!! Mike, Why were the Palendids sad
last year?
>MIKE: Because they had no food.
>HOST: WRONG!! The correct answer was "because their cable was
>out"!
Mike: They would be in a depression if they had the cable service I
did.
> Now let's spin the wheel to see how you can LOSE YOUR LUNCH!!
>(Wheel spins and lands on "Spoiled Cottage Cheese")
>TOM (watching from the Satellite): It's too vile! I can't look!
>(While Mike vomits at the sight of the slide, back aboard the
Satellite, Cambot is shaking almost violently)
Crow: How can you tell if cottage cheese is spoiled?
Tom: Personally, I would need the smell to get me ill.
>JOEL: What is it, Cambot?
Crow: You know, I had always had a feeling as soon as he left this
show, that he was going to be sitting around the house all day
watching game shows.
>(Cambot projects a book of Tantalan law turned to one of the pages)
Tom: No, you know what I was thinking is that this whole set up is
like a family, yet Mike is the only one going out and making a
living while Joel stays home with the kids. Crow: Speak for
yourself! Tom: With the advances that we've achieved, why is only
one parent working? Mike: Possibly a conservative backlash when
Gingrich suggested the fact that too many families these days are on
too many game shows and not paying enough attention to their kids.
>JOEL: It says here that losing a Tantalan game show is punishable
by death!!
Tom: Can you imagine if we had that law on Earth, we can almost
wipe out the entire trailer park population.
>(The TV shows the score as Mike-50 and Hentad-700)
>GYPSY: THEY'RE GOING TO KILL MIKE!!!
>(Joel gets on the vis-a-phone to the TV studio)
>JOEL: Yes, can I speak to Mike Nelson while there is a
>commercial?.....Thanks.
Crow: (As Joel) I hope he won't notice that I'm charging it to
his card number.
>(back at the studio)
>STAGEHAND: Mr. Nelson, communication coming in for you.
>MIKE: Thanks.
>(Mike takes the phone)
>MIKE: Hello.....Oh Hi Joel.............What??....
Crow: I'm not dealing with AT&T!!!
>Yeah right!.....You mean.....oh
shit!....um...um....(gulp)....OK. (to Stagehand) Sorry, gotta go,
been nice knowing you...
Tom: Wow. Some of these scare tactics that telephone companies use
today.....
>STAGEHAND: You must finish the game!
>MIKE: But you see I have....
>STAGEHAND: You MUST finish or forfeit, which would mean you >lose!
Mike: But I'm already losing too much by not switching phone
companies...
>(Mike gulps)
>MIKE: OK....I'll finish.
>STAGEHAND: On 5...4...3...2...1...go
>HOST: Welcome back to the game. Hentad is ahead with an
astounding 700 points while Mike has 50. Now all questions are
double. This next question goes to Mike. Who holds the world
record for the longest Kentasgop jump?
>MIKE: Uh....Genyd Daswejug?
Crow: Oh, the great Welsh long jumper.
Mike: Yeah, next they will
expect us to believe that Mexico has good tennis players.
>HOST: WRONG!! the correct answer is Federyt Lazegedt! Now let's
spin the wheel to see how you will LOSE YOUR LUNCH!!
>(Wheel spins and stops on "Naked Roseanne Arnold". Mike vomits)
Mike: Oh, and what's this?!?! Roseanne is coming out on the stage
and she's looking quite pissed! She is demanding Tom's picture be
shown also. Tom: This is kind of risky for the producers since the
last two shows that had Tom were cancelled.
>(Many questions later..)
>HOST: And at the end of Round 2 the score is Hentad-2200, Mike-55.
Mike, it took a lot of willpower to keep from vomiting at the
sight of 20th century Earth singing star Lyle Lovett! When
we come back, the final question! Players, set your wagers for
this category.....THE SPAM TAKEOVER.
>(Mike wages 55 and Hentad wages 2200. Goes to commercial)
>HENTAD: Nelson, you haven't got a chance! I know almost
>everything about the Spam Takeover! You're Dandee fodder!
Crow: Yeah, man, I'm gonna cut you, man...
>MIKE: What?
>HENTAD: Dandee, the grockel that lives here....he always gets
>hungry after a show! Did you actually think your death would be
>painless????
Tom: (as Mike) Allright! Can I go as a shake 'n bake dinner?
Crow: Oh! I want to die covered in a sweet honey glaze! Mike:
But not fried. Dandee has a very sensitive tummy.
>(back on the Satellite...)
>JOEL: Gypsy, can you port him out of there?
>GYPSY: No! There's too much TV interference.
>CROW: Is there anything TV DOESN'T interfere with?
Mike: Judge Ito apparently doesn't think so...
>TOM: Hey guys, the commercial's over!!!
>(back at the studio)
>HOST: OK..you made your wagers and I see you both bet it all.
Well, here is your question.....What was the name of the Queen who
was almost over thrown? You have 30 seconds.
>(cheesy tick-tock music plays. Hentad now looks worried)
>(Time runs out)
>HOST: OK...The answer is....QUEEN DAMOX! Let's see how you >two
fared. Mike has...."Damox"! Correct! You now have 110 points.
Hentad has......NOTHING!!
Mike: See, this is what happens when our children sleep through
history classes. So, sit down with your child today and make sure
what happened to Hentad doesn't happen to them. This message
brought to you by the save our kids from gameshow human consuming
monsters foundation.
>Your score has dropped to zero and MIKE NELSON IS OUR NEW
>CHAMPION!
>(Mike is speechless)
Tom: With Geena Davis!!
Crow: Only he doesn't have a director
husband to help him get bad movies.
>HOST: Mr. Nelson??? Mr. Nelson!!!
>(Mike comes out of it)
>HOST: What do you have to say now that you are our champion?
>MIKE: It's.....very nice.
Crow: I would like to thank the judges for choosing me as your next
Mr. America, and I would like to thank the United States of America
that can prove once and for all that dreams really can come true.
>HOST: And you get to come back tomorrow! You are now 500,000
>plutons richer!
Tom: No! I'm supposed to go to a ribbon cutting ceremony, then
have lunch which is all prepaid by our sponsor soakemup
undergarments.
>MIKE: Well, if it's all the same to you, I'd rather not. I got
lucky this time and I'm not about to try this again.
Crow: Hey, Nelson, God forbid you get lucky more than once!
>Just let me clean up my vomit and port out of here.
Crow: You're fired! Clean out your vomit bag and leave!
>I can't wait to spend my money!
Tom: Wow! I can now go to all the latenight showings of...
Mike: Watch it, little man.
>HOST: You heard the man! (to audience) Good night!
>(off the air)
>STAGEHAND: Come on, Hentad....you have a dinner date with Dandee!
Mike: Tell him I can't see him! I've got a huge icky pimple on my
nose and I'm just gonna die if he sees me like this!
>(Stagehand drags Hentad off the stage kicking and screaming. Sound
>of a door opening and locking. Sound of much chomping ending with
>a...)
>DANDEE: (B U R P)
Crow: Get it??? A DANDY burp!!!
Tom: So anticlimatic...you thought
that he would have least ended it with and A-E-I-O-U.
>HOST: Who are we going to fill the vacant space with?
>MIKE: Just simply find two more suck-- players for the game! I'm
>gone!
Crow: My last night in Vegas! Let me do one more number...and it
goes a little something like this..."It had to be you..."
>HOST: Wait, Mr. Nelson, before you leave, there is a little matter
of tax that should be addressed. Let's see....
> 25% for county tax
> another 5% for game show tax
> 20% of what's left for playability tax
> 15% off the original amount for planet
tax
> 30% off of that for exercise tax
Mike: 25% for liquor license
5% for added red tape
10% Dan Quayle help fund...
7% for Clinton's haircut...
12% for the elimination of Ross Perot
>(Host lists more taxes)
>HOST: And that leaves you with exactly 34 plutons and 12
>credits....enjoy!(to Audience) I need two players for a chance at
>500,000 plutons!
>(Mike ports back to the ship)
>JOEL: So all that and you didn't even win MOST of the money! I
guess there is a lesson to be learned here.
Mike: (mumbling) yeah,we should have dumped you out when we got to
Earth. What was the name of that show you were working on again with
that Paula person?? Oh, I'm sorry, I can't seem to remember it
right now...
Tom: Mike, its just a fanfic.
>CROW: Yeah..only we don't know what it is.
Crow: Look, I'm dumb, but not stupid!
>TOM: Look on the bright side, Mike. At least you're not dead.
>Almost...very close....but you are not dead!
Crow: You can always stage a comeback. Captain Ron really wasn't
bad enough to hurt your career...
>MIKE (sarcastic): Well thanks a lot! (to Gypsy) Take us as far
away from this place as possible....PLEASE!
>(The Satellite Of Love travels away from Tantalus III)
>(back on the planet..)
>HOST (to empty audience): Anyone??? Please??? We're talking
>500,000 plutons here!! Hello???
Tom: That's the trouble with
today's audiences. There is no viewer loyalty.
>T H E E N D
>PREVIEWS OF COMING ATTRACTIONS...
>#103 -- The Dark Half >After a sleep of almost 380 years, Crow's
evil twin brother Timmy returns to cause more havoc aboard the
Satellite Of Love!!
>#104 -- Deep Space 13 The Satellite crew comes across the
descendants of Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank in a remote space
station located in the toughest part of the galaxy.
Crow: Wow! This gives me an idea...
(6..5..4..3..2..1..)
Magic Voice: Welcome to tonight feature buddy movie, SOL: Part V,
YET ANOTHER RECKONING. As we pick up from where we left off at, we
discover that Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot are in Mr. Booger and Mr.
Greenjeans collapsing box....
Tom: Crow! We only have two minutes! We're done for, man and I
haven't even had a chance to blow up a building! Crow: Not to
worry....Wait! I have an idea! I will use my psychic powers and
cause half of the air molecules in the room to come together and
create a miniature version of the big bang! The explosion will
cause the wall to explode! Tom: That's brilliant! Is there
anything I can do? Crow: Yes. Hold this picture of Bubbles
O'Feelme... Tom: Say...She's... Crow: Knock it off, Tom. Tom: I
was just saying.... Crow: Fine. If you're going to be that way, I
won't save us. Tom: That's fine with me. I didn't want to be saved
by your stupid plan anyway. Crow: Jealous.... Tom: (spits) Crow:
Hey! (spits back) MIke: (enters the room) Geez! I can't leave you
two alone for two minutes! Crow: We were just having fun. Tom:
Yeah, Nelson, you are such a party pooper. Mike: Well, anyway, we
don't have any letters, so lets go down to the surface. What did
you think slimy slouchy scientist subtypes? (Deep 13) Dr. F: I won't
even bother with the rest....(pushes button) (Love theme, but only
if you sing it in your head. Don't hum it outloud because you might
annoy some one)
Now for the credits:
*****************************************************************************
* From: gu09...@icsun.sunnet.ithaca.edu / kda...@ithaca.edu
* * * * Mortimer Gomez Addams (Always look on the bright side
of DEATH!!) * * * * Mystery Science Theater Adevntures is a
work of fan-fiction not intended * * for profit, but only for fun
reading. Any similarity to real persons, * * living or dead, is
unintentional. * * * *
Characters from Mystery Science Theater 3000 created by Joel Hodgson
and * * Michael J. Nelson. Copyright 1989, 1990, 1993 Best Brains
Productions * * * * All other characters created by Kevin M. Days
-- Copyright 1994 * * * * Mystery Science Theater
Adventures -- "Wheel In The Sky" -- C 1994 *
*****************************************************************************
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All of this is ditto for me. I mean, the copyright stuff.
Congratulations! You have reached the end of my first MSTing. My
own list of thank yous.
To Mortimer for creating this cool fanfic. To: BBI for allowing
ramblings such as mine to be posted without retribution. To: God who
has given me the attention span of a flea as far as my work is
concerned and allowed me to do this. And, of course, everyone who
has read this. Not that I'm trying to kiss up or anything....