MSTed: Men In Black 2/4
M Sampo
MIKE: I like them cut diagonally...
CROW & TOM: Ewww...
>In September of 1976, a 58-year-old doctor and 'hypnotist'
>by the name of Dr. Herbert Hopkins, was acting as a consultant in
>the investigation of an alleged UFO teleportation case in Maine.
TOM: They were teleporting UFO's in Maine? Wow! The UFO's must have hated
that.
>One evening, when his wife and children had gone out, leaving him
>alone, the telephone rang and a man identifying himself as vice-
>president of the New Jersey UFO Research Organization asked if he
>might visit Dr. Hopkins to discuss the case. Dr. Hopkins
>agreed - at the time it seemed the natural thing to do.
CROW (ominous voice): On a NIGHT OUT....
> He went
>to the back door to switch on the light so that his visitor could
>find his way from the parking lot, and saw the man already
>climbing the porch steps. "I saw no car, and even if he did have
>a car, he could not have possibly gotten to my house that quickly
>from ANY phone," he told his colleagues later on.
MIKE: And of course car phones were unheard way back in 1976...
> But at the time he felt no particular surprise as he
>admitted his visitor. The man was dressed in a black suit, with
>black hat, tie and shoes, and a white shirt: Hopkins later
>recalled: "I thought, he looks like an undertaker."
TOM: The visitor later recalled thinking Hopkins looked "like a dork."
> His clothes
>were immaculate: suit unwrinkled, trousers sharply creased. When
>he took off his hat he revealed himself as being completely
>hairless, not only bald but without eyebrows or eyelashes.
TOM (gasps): The bald Mafia strikes again!
CROW: Well, what about the hair on his--
MIKE (interrupting): THAT's something we don't want to know....
> According to Dr. Hopkins, not only was his visitor void of
>hair, but his skin was dead white, and his lips were bright red.
>In the course of their conversation he brushed his lips with his
>grey suede gloves, and the doctor was astonished to see that his
>lips were smeared and the gloves were stained with lipstick!
CROW: So the guy's a cross dresser going through kemo! So what?
> It was only afterwards, however, that Dr. Hopkins reflected
>on the strangeness of his visitor's appearance and behavior. At
>the time of the visit Hopkins sat discussing the case in a normal
>manner. When Dr. Hopkins had given his account, his visitor
>stated that his host had two coins in his pocket, which was
>indeed the case. He asked the Dr. to put one of the coins in his
>hand: he did so. The stranger asked Dr. Hopkins to watch the
>coin, not himself: as he watched, the coin seemed to go out of
>focus, and then gradually vanished. "Neither you nor anyone else
>on this plane will ever see that coin again," the visitor told
>him.
MIKE: Well, I can see how that would only seem strange after some
reflection.
> An interesting parallel to this can be found in Gary
>Kinder's book 'LIGHT YEARS' (Morgan Entekin Books., Atlantic
>Monthly Press., N.Y. 1987). kinder describes alleged UFO
>contactee Eduard 'Billy' Meier who claimed to have been visited
>by human like beings now resident in the Pleiades.
TOM: But that's not the weird part...
> Meier
>attempted to make a coin disappear in front of several witnesses,
>a 'trick' that was apparently taught to him by one of his cosmic
>visitants. Placing the coin in his hand, Meier went into a
>trance-like state and after staring at the coin for some time he
>went into shock, started convulsing, and nearly lost his life as
>a result.
CROW: Ah, if only we could teach that one to Kreskin...
>The object did not disappear, but was incredibly hot.
MIKE: Oh yeah....
>Apparently Meier was attempting to open himself up to
>electromagnetic forces and channel these through his body in such
>a way as to make the coin phase-out into another branch of the
>electromagnetic spectrum.
TOM: Oh, obviously!
MIKE: Since when do spectrums have branches?
> However as one can plainly see what he
>attempted to do almost destroyed him, bringing up the idea that
>there are certain forces and energies which man was not meant to
>interfere with, not only for his own good but for the good of
>others.
MIKE, TOM & CROW: He tampered in God's domain.
> This might be likened to a child playing around inside a
>nuclear generating plant, wondering what buttons to push and so
>on.
TOM: What's your point?
> The government in it's ignorance has on occasion
experimented with unknown forces, uncertain of what their
tamperings might produce.
CROW: One result was Cher.
> Some of the scientists on the
>Manhattan project to develop the atomic bomb were praying that
>the first test explosion would not cause a chain-reaction
>igniting the entire atmosphere of the planet.
MIKE (dumb guy): Um...so, did it?
> In other words,
>they did not know exactly what was going to happen. In a similar
>manner the lesser publicized yet no less important 'Philadelphia
>Experiment' (mentioned elsewhere in these files) produced
>horrifying after-effects which the scientists could not have
>predicted.
TOM: The horrifying Michael Pare.
> Such are the dangers which may result when created
>beings attempt to 'play god' by manipulating energies which the
>Creator alone fully understands.
CROW: Can the balloon juice, Peter Graves, and get back to the aliens!
> As for Mr. Hopkins' strange visitor,
MIKE (as narrator): Thought I'd forgotten about him, didn't ya?
> after talking a while
>longer on the topic of UFO's he noticed that the Man In Black's
>speech was slowing down. The 'man' (or who or whatever he was)
>rose unsteadily to his feet and said, very slowly, "My energy is
>running low - must go now - goodbye."
MIKE: Again, a comment one might easily overlook...
> He walked falteringly to
>the door, and descended the outside steps uncertainly, one at a
>time. Dr. Hopkins saw a bright light shining in the driveway,
>bluish-white and distinctly brighter than a normal car lamp; at
>the time, however, he assumed it must be the stranger's car
>although he neither saw nor heard it.
CROW: The fact that it was 12 feet off the ground also failed to register.
> Later, when Dr. Hopkins' family had returned, they examined
>the driveway and found marks that could not have been made by a
>car because they were in the center of the driveway, where the
>wheels could not have been.
TOM: Oh, well, that certainly--HUH??
> By the next day, even though the
>driveway had not been used in the meantime, the marks had
>vanished.
CROW: Woooooo!!!
TOM: Scary.....
MIKE: So, this Hopkins guy decides to tell his family a ghost story and
we're
supposed to believe it?
> Dr. Hopkins was very much shaken by the visit, particularly
>when he reflected on the extraordinary character of the
>stranger's conduct.
TOM: And on how much peyote he'd taken that night...
> Not surprisingly, he was so scared that he
>willingly complied with his visitor's instruction to erase the
>tapes and the hypnotic sessions he was conducting with regard to
>his current case, and to have nothing further to do with the
>case.
MIKE: But he sent a big bill, anyway.
> Strange incidents continued to occur both in Dr. Hopkins'
>household and in that of his oldest son. He concluded that there
>was some connection with the extraordinary visit by the man in
>black,
CROW: And we'll just assume he was right...
> but he never heard from the visitor again. As for the
>'New Jersey UFO Organization', no such institution exists.
TOM: Does too! The headquarters are in Grover's Mill!
> When Dr. Hopkins' wife and children came home after his
>peculiar visit, they found him severely shaken, with the house
>lights blazing, seated at a table upon which he had placed a gun.
>They confirmed the marks on the driveway, and a series of
>disturbances on the telephone that seemed to commence immediately
>after the visit. So it would seem that some real event occurred,
>although it's nature remains mysteriously uncertain.
MIKE: And no way is Hopkins a loony. No sir.
> The concrete or factual nature of the phenomenon was
>accepted by the U.S. Air Force, who were concerned that persons
>passing themselves off as USAF personnel should be visiting UFO
>witnesses.
CROW: And asking the cute ones for phone numbers...
> In February of 1967 Colonel George P. Freeman, a
>Pentagon spokesman for the USAF's Project Blue Book, told UFO
>investigator John Keel, who had personal friends and
>acquaintances in the Pentagon, the following in the course of an
>interview:
> "...Mysterious men dressed in Air Force uniforms or bearing
>impressive credentials from government agencies have been
>'silencing' UFO witnesses. We have checked a number of these
>cases, and these men are not connected with the Air Force in any
>way. We haven't been able to find out anything about these men.
>By posing as Air Force officers and government agents they are
>committing a federal offense. We would sure like to catch one.
TOM: Sure would like to get me one of them alien guys...
>Unfortunately the trail is always too cold by the time we hear
>about these cases. But we're still trying."
> On September 24, only a few days after Dr. Hopkins had his
>frightening encounter with the MIB, his daughter-in-law Maureen
>received a telephone call from a man who claimed to know her
>husband John, and asked if he and a companion could come and
>visit them.
> John met the man at a local fast-food restaurant, and
>brought him home with his companion, a woman.
MIKE: John didn't, in fact, know them, but that only occurred to him
later,
upon reflection.
> Both appeared to
>be in their mid-thirties; they wore curiously old-fashioned
>clothes.
CROW: The suits of armor definitely stood out...
> The woman looked particularly odd, her breasts were set
>low,
TOM: That IS odd!
> and when she stood up, it seemed that there was something
>wrong with the way that her legs joined onto her hips.
MIKE: Duct tape was perhaps not the best choice...
>Both strangers walked with very short steps, leaning forward as
>though frightened of falling.
> They accepted Coca-Colas, but did not so much as taste them.
CROW: Nothing strange about THAT!
>The strangers sat awkwardly together on the couch as the man
>asked a number of detailed personal questions: Did John and
>Maureen watch television much? What did they read? And what did
>they talk about? All the while, the man was pawing and fondling
>the female companion, asking John if this was all right and
>whether he was doing it correctly.
TOM: A typical evening in middle-America.
> John left the room for a moment, and the man tried to
>persuade Maureen to set next to him on the couch. He also asked
>her 'how she was made' - and whether she had any nude photographs
>of herself.
CROW: Nudge-nudge-wink-wink! Photographs, he asked her knowingly!
> Shortly afterwards, the woman stood up and announced that
>she wanted to leave.
MIKE (woman's voice): Well, it's a long drive back to the Pleides, so...
> The man also stood, but made no move to go.
>He was between the woman and the door, and it seemed that the
>only way she could get to the door was by walking a straight
>line, directly through him. Finally the woman turned to John and
>asked, 'Please move him; I can't move him myself.' Then,
>suddenly, the man left, followed by the woman, both walking in
>straight lines. They did not even say goodbye.
TOM: I admit presenting a Pinter play to unsuspecting homeowners is a
daring
theatrical concept, but it was ahead of its time.
> If these two
>were 'human', they were of such a divergent nature from
>mainstream humanity that it was necessary for them to 'imitate'
>our human behavior to some extent.
CROW: Oh, like Gilbert Gottfried?
> There are other possibilities
>however, one being that a 'manufactured form', somewhat human-
>like, was utilized. This might explain some of the strange
>aspects of the encounter.
MIKE: And it's important to always jump to the most outlandish conclusion
first, in situations like this.
> Peter Brookesmith, in his volume 'THE ALIEN WORLD', gives
>some additional details on the MIB phenomena, and the peculiar
>characteristics often observed in the strange visitants:
> "...One curious recurrent feature of MIB reports is the
>ineptitude of the visitors. Time and again they are described
>as incompetent: if they ARE impersonating human beings, they
>don't do it very well; they arouse their victim's suspicions by
>improbable behavior, by the way they look or talk, by their
>ignorance as much as by their knowledge.
TOM: So they're a lot like...CONGRESS!! Hah!!
CROW: Thank you, Mark Russell.
> Of course it could be
>that the only ones who are spotted as impostors are those who are
>not good at their job:
MIKE: Droppo, you're the laziest man on Mars!
> and so there may be many more MIB cases
>that we never learn about simply because the visitors
>successfully convince their victims that there is nothing
>suspicious about the visit, or that they will do best to keep
>quiet about it.
TOM: Here's some money--don't tell your mother.
> "A feature of a great many MIB visits is the instruction to
>the witness not to say anything about the visit, and to cease
>all activity concerning the case: clearly, we know of these cases
>only because such instructions have been disobeyed. Curiously,
>however, no terrible retribution follows, although violence is
>frequently threatened if the witness does not comply with
>instructions.
CROW: I think the punishment is becoming known as UFO wacko.
> Canadian UFO witness Carmen Cuneo, in 1976, was
>told by a mysterious visitor to stop repeating his story and
>going further into his case, or he would be visited by three men
>in black. 'I said, "What's that supposed to mean?" "Well," he
>said, "I could make it hot for you...It may cost you certain
>injury."' A year earlier, Mexican witness Carlos de Los Santos
MIKE, TOM & CROW: EL SANTO!
>was stopped on his way to a television interview by not one but
>two black limousines, and one of the occupants - dressed in a
>black suit and 'Scandinavian' in appearance - told him, 'Look,
>boy, if you value your life and your family's too, don't talk any
>more about this sighting of yours.'
TOM: I'll bet El Santo beat the crap out of them!
> "However, there is no reliable instance of such threats ever
>having been carried out..."
CROW: Which somewhat lessens the significance of this entire phenomenon...
> Not only UFO witnesses, but certain well-known investigators
>themselves have allegedly had encounters with these cosmic
>'secret service' agents. John Keel, for instance, claimed that:
>"...on a number of occasions I actually saw the phantom Cadillacs
>as advertised, complete with sinister-looking Oriental-like
>passengers in black suits."
MIKE: ...but I was watching a Charlie Chan movie at the time....
TOM: Time ta go, guys...(they rise and leave)
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CROW (as he leaves): Ha! What exactly would be an APPRORPRIATE use?
[Spaghetti ball bumper into commercial]
[Commercial]
End of Part 1
Sampo
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I've undergone a complex personal evolution wherein painful confusion has
given way to what I like to think of as some degree of wisdom, culminating
in my current Zarathustrian sense of self. Is that it?
=======================================================