MiSTed: Let There Be Angst! (2/4)

[pmi...@asid.org]

MiSTed: Let There Be Angst! (2/4)
By Peter Milan

This one's gonna hurt.

>Date sent: Wed, 09 Jul 1997 21:16:11 -0400
>From: Gerry Otte <ros...@snet.net>

MIKE: Huh. Stephen must have taken the day off.
CROW: Yeah, probably off writing about that time Scully had a
baloney and cheese sandwich.

>Title: A Romeo and Juliette Tale
>
>Author: Nor Z Doats

TOM: [sings] Mairzy doats and Nor Z Doats and little
lambse divey...

>Rating:G (Totally appropriate for anyone who loves Xfiles)

MIKE: Totally inappropriate for anyone who loves Who's The Boss.
TOM: Somewhat appropriate for anyone who loves Space Precinct.
CROW: People who like Union Square _are_ inappropriate.

>Category:MSA (Mulder, Scully Angst)

[ALL sigh.]
CROW: Why couldn't it be Mulder-Scully Ennui?

>Spoilers:Gethesame

MIKE: You know, I only want to say, if there is a way, take
this fanfic away from me, 'cause I don't want to taste
its poison.

>Disclaimer: *** Come on! This is getting old....

ALL: We agree!

>These characters from the X-Files do not belong to me,
>they are the property of Chris Carter and 10-13 Fox.
>So I don't mean to offend any of the characters in any
>way. ***

TOM: [fanboy voice] Except for Krycek. Hey, ratboy, you suck!

>Authors Notes: Warning: Extremely sad ending and if
>you don't like angst then get outta here!!

TOM: See ya.
CROW: Aloha.
[The BOTS try to leave.]
MIKE: Nice try...

> I want
>feedback!!! Write me all you x-philes!! Hows our
>story coming Jen?? Or Spook E?? Keep up the good
>work!!

MIKE: Keep up the good work, and don't write fanfic.

>Summary: Characters die. Scully writes a final
>letter to Mulder before she 'joins' him.

CROW: Why? Is he coming apart? BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA!
TOM: Ssssshh, Crow! I don't like the sound of this...

> But there is
>one thing she didn't know before she makes the fatal
>desicion.

TOM: How to spell, apparently.
MIKE: Strap in, boys. Looks like we're headin' for
"Short walk" country.

>To someone I love,

CROW: [Scully] "The guy who played the In Vitro on Space:
Above & Beyond..."

> To my ever dearest partner, To my
>closest friend and To my big brother always, Mudler,

MIKE: Oh, yeah, she's real close to him...
TOM: Mudler? Wasn't he Snively's assistant?
CROW: Hey, she's giving her Emmy speech!

> The first words that you had ever first spoken to me

[TOM opens his mouth.]
MIKE: You know, Tom could jump all over a defenseless
little grammar error, just like Hitler did Poland.
But I think he should let it go.
TOM: Well, jeez, put it _that_ way...
CROW: You're in check now, Caesar!

> was, "no one down here but the F.B.I.'s must
> unwanted."

CROW: [Scully] Even then your wisecracks got on my nerves.

> But you were never unwanted in my life
> Mulder. And now four years later, we have grown
> together so much in a way that I can not describe.

TOM: Much like Siamese twins. No wonder people stare.

> I have become so close to you. You have acted like my
> big brother at times and other times you were just my
> closest friend. And in other ways you were my lover.

CROW: So which ways were those?

> I have told you this so many times Mulder but when I
> say it this time I could not say it with more
> certainty, You are the only one I trust.

MIKE: [Scully] Except for Tom Hanks, but really, can
you blame me?

> When I
> walked down to your apartment that day, there was
> only one thing on my mind.

TOM: [Scully] Is Betty going to end up with Victor
Comstock or Scott Sherwood?

> You couldn't be dead was
> all I thought. But when the police had asked me to
> identify the body that was lying on the floor of your
> apartment, I could not lie.

CROW: [Scully] _I_ chopped down that cherry tree!

> Before my eyes was the
> one person in the world that I had loved and trusted
> more than anyone imaginable.

TOM: [falsetto] Vince Gilligan.
CROW: No, that's the person _you_ love and trust more than anyone
imaginable.

> And now, Mulder, I know
> why. There is no other reason that you would have
> possibly shot yourself.

MIKE: Except maybe "Playing God."

> If I could go back to that
> day where we stood in the warehouse and I told you of
> my cancer, saying "They gave me this desiese to make

CROW: I hate desieses to pieces!

> you believe," which must have crushed your life, I
> would have taken it back. Mulder, I didn't mean to
> hurt you,

TOM: [sings] I'm sorry that I made you cry-y-y...

> but I needed to tell you the truth or you
> might have not believed me at all. Mulder, I love
> you.

ALL: Awwwwwww.

> When I found that I had cancer what crossed my
> mind first was that I would die and leave you.

TOM: And she'd BETTER NOT! YOU HEAR ME, FANFIC? DON'T GO
WHERE I THINK YOU'RE GOING!
MIKE: Steel yourself, Tom.

> The
> thought made my stomach knot and burn into a million
> peices. What I never thought could be imaginable was
> that you left me first and I don't understand how my
> life can go on.

TOM: Come on, Scully, call the Samaritans!

> And now because of you, Mulder, I
> have decided to leave the F.B.I.I have decided to
> leave my family and friends. I have decided to leave
> the world. But not just that Mulder,

TOM: Whaddaya mean, "not just that"? We didn't think you were
going to Jupiter!
CROW: Or Uranus!
TOM: Shut up, Crow! Scully needs our love.

> I have decided
> to leave my life. And tonight is the night that I
> will join you in heaven where we are both destined to
> be forever. I love you Mulder and I want to be with
> you eternally. Goodbye and we will meet again.

CROW: You know, Scully, I hear Frank Black is dating...

>Love you always,
> Your partner, Dana Scully

MIKE: [Scully] P.S. What are they wearing in Hell this season?
TOM: Shut up, Mike! That's not funny!

> Minutes later Scully took in a deep breath and
> pleaced her pen down. She took out Mulder's picture.

CROW: ...execution-style, with a shot to the back of the head.
TOM: Will you guys quit it?! I'm trying to send Scully
some positive vibes.

> She had one picture of Mulder, which was one that
> she ahd gotten professionally.

CROW: Where, at Sears?
MIKE: [Minnewegian] All right, Fox, just sit right down here,
and try to smile nice...

> But it was good
> enough. She sat beside the couch. She was hungry.

MIKE: Or filled with soul-crushing despair, one of the two.

> Ever since she hadbeen struck with the news of
> Mulder's death she had forbidden to eat.

MIKE: By who, the Caliph? Did the Sultan decree this thing?
TOM: She briefly considered chucking it all and running away
with an Arabian noblewoman named Safie, but then she
realized it wasn't intricate enough a plot twist.
CROW: Oh, where'd you read that? Some _book_?!

> She kissed
> Mulder's picture gently and inside her mind she
> imagined his face, smiling and looking at her.

CROW: Which made it so much easier to pull the trigger.

> He
> waved to her and said her name.

MIKE: [Mulder] Hey, Scully, look at me! I'm _dead_!

> He told her that it
> was okay and that he was still alive, she'd just have
> to hang on.

MIKE: I thought that's how _Mulder_ was supposed to go.
CROW: Um...Scully's going to be okay, right, Mike?
MIKE: Sure. It's just fanfic.

> But her eyes flashed open and she was
> once again in reality, where Fox Mulder really was
> dead.

CROW: He's not only really dead, he's really most sincerely dead.

> She looked at the picture, his soft eyes
> looked at her as if he was real.

MIKE: Instead of the festering hunk of meat in the morgue.
TOM: Shut _up_, Mike!

> "I'm sorry Mulder.
> So sorry. But I will be with you again."

TOM: Scully, you've got so much to live for! Your career!
MIKE: Your hair!
CROW: Your...uh...your career!

> she
> whispered quietly. She took the gun in her hand and
> pulled back the trigger.

BOTS: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
MIKE: That's why I say "Hey, man, nice shot!"
TOM: SHUT UP, MIKE!

> Her body fell to the ground
> souless.

MIKE: Uh...look, guys, she didn't have any French money! Guys?
[Sobs from the bots.]

> In one hand a picture of Mulder and in
> another a gun that was still smoking from the fire
> that had been shot.

MIKE: So how do you shoot a fire? Guys?
TOM: [sobs] I've been scarred for life...
CROW: [sobs] I've known true pain...

> Hours later, Mulder walked down
> to Scully's apartment, #35. He was ready to tell her
> the truth. That this was all a fraud.

TOM: [more sobs] Oh, _now_ he wants to tell her. WAY TO GO,
MACCHIAVELLI!

> It was a
> cover-up for Mulder. He knocked on the door, once
> then twice and he got no answer. He continued in and
> was amazed that Scully had left the door unlocked.

CROW: [between sobs] I'm amazed she'd want to die for
this CHIMP!

> His body felt weak when he saw on the ground the body
> of the person he had loved.

MIKE: Bob Keeshan! NOOOOO!

> He went over and began
> crying over her body frantically.

MIKE: Wuss.
TOM: HEY!

> His tears fell
> onto her. He touched her, she's so cold, he thought.

CROW: [sniffle] Nothing new there...
MIKE: There you go, that's the spirit...just keep riffing...

> He saw the picture Scully held in her hand and
> noticed the faint lip marks drawn on it. He was
> feeling dizzy, nautious and weak at the same time.

MIKE: And he had the odd feeling that somewhere, he
was being watched by a duck...

> He went over to the night stand where he read
> Scully's depressing letter.

TOM: Of course it's depressing, you clod, IT'S A SUICIDE NOTE!
WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING, VOLTAIRE?!
MIKE: Easy there, Tom...
TOM: SCULLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

> It was his fault, he
> thought. He then Took Scully's gun and wiped it off.

CROW: "Ew, there's all this icky blood all over..." Oh,
forget it.

> He pulled his body down on top of Scullys

MIKE: How many Scullys were there?

> and held
> her against his chest. Her blood, was soaking his
> shirt.

TOM: [sniff] Her commas, were getting in the way of the
sentence...SCULLYYYYYYYYYYY!

> He held the cold metal to his right temple.

MIKE: AW, COME ON!
CROW: NOOOO! Not you too, Fox!

> And began to pull the trigger. It felt like minutes
> before the crash went off and Fox Mulder was also
> dead.

[A long, long silence.]
CROW: ....is it time to go?
TOM: Yes.

[1...2...3...4...5...6...7...]

[To be continued...as if such a thing would be preferable...]
Peter Milan
ti...@eyrie.org

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