MSTed: In the Spirit 5/5
Mike zimbouski
[continued from part 4]
envision
an accurate setting for understanding the functioning of our
brain. Like the brain, the computer stores information. Like
the brain, the computer processes information. Like the
brain the computer has a power source.
The power source of the computer is electricity, the
power source of the brain is the free flowing of blood and
oxygen.
Mike: Hey, guys, just out of curiousity, what's your power source?
<Tom and Crow lean forward and whisper back and forth: "No. No, that's not
right. What about...No, that's not...Wait...Yeah, I think...Yeah! Ok." They
sit back up.>
Mike: So, what is it?
Tom and Crow: Waffles.
Mike: <Nods> I kind of figured it was--huh?
The goal of the evil spirit is to plug into the
receptacles of the brain by projecting a thought via
electromagnetic energy.
When you delve into the thought (hmmm...),
Crow: Oh my God, it's Arsenio!
All: AAHHHH!
Tom: But we kid Arsenio.
the evil spirit
establishes a concrete connection into your mind. With this
connection there may also pour in many different thoughts.
Like downloading a self expanding program into your mind,
the evil spirit will
Crow: Cause your system to crash.
Tom: Oh, Windows giving you trouble, PC boy?
Mike: Alright, let's not start that again.
continue to manipulate thought waves
until it establishes a network by which to control the flow of
information. Over time the evil spirit will expand the first
network into many branches
Tom: Oh, he's talking about Rupert Murdoch.
consisting of different control
centers throughout the nervous system. Each control center
will have dominion over various networks, organizing the
functioning of the bodily members at will.
Mike: The truth behind the Disney/ABC buyout.
A human can sit at a keyboard and press buttons
Tom: Without saying anything coherent, as I will demonstrate.
moving one file to another and opening and closing different
programs. It is our goal to master the computer.
Mike: Joshua, wouldn't you like to play a nice game of chess?
It is our goal
to manipulate the programs stored on the hard drive so that
we may utilize them for our own purposes.
Tom: And we can't afford to let MacGyver get his hands on them first!
The same goal
that we have to master and control a computer is the same
goal that the evil spirit would like to achieve over our mind
and body.
Crow: <Bob McKensie> There was no goal, you know! It was in decrease!
This manipulation of the mind is constantly being
improved by the evil spirit through the advancing forms of
our worldly communications. What our eyes are feasting on
will eventually determine the true nature of our own soul.
"The eyes are the window to the soul."
Crow: Unless, of course, you're Sammy Davis Jr.
Tom: D'oh!
Matt 6:22
<all snicker>
Tom: "Matt"?
Mike: 'Ey, 'ere's my buddy Matt to tell youse about Jesus, so listen up.
-- The light of the body is the eye; if therefore
thine eye be fixed on goodness, thy whole body shall be full
of light. But if thine eye be fixed on the world, thy whole
body shall be full of darkness.
Tom: And if thine eye be fixed on Tuesday, thine optometrist will send thee
thy bill by the weekend.
Mike: Hey, do you realize we just riffed on the Bible?
Crow: Woo hoo! <Jimmy Durante voice> We're finally playin' da big leagues!
If we consume the Word of God we will
Crow: Need our stomach pumped.
Mike: I'm not sure, but someone might find that offensive.
Crow: Well, if you ate the Bible, you wouldn't be feeling too hot.
Mike: Good point.
become like
Jesus. Jesus is the Word and the Bible is One book written
by the finger of God.
Crow: Oh, God's one of those one-finger typists.
Every word of God is nourishment for
our spirit. If our spirit feasts on the light of God through the
communion of Jesus Christ,
Tom: The communion gets a five percent share.
the link between spirit and soul
begins to open.
Mike: Not if you're using lynx, it doesn't.
Our spirit begins to regain dominion over
the mind and the body by eating the incarnate Word.
Tom: You get the feeling this guy was getting ready for supper at this point?
Crow: Mm hm.
It is by the revelation of the Word that we begin to
understand our power in God. By understanding the
spiritual Word of God we can begin to cast down the
strongholds that the enemy has established in our minds.
Mike: And tear down this fortress around our hearts.
Tom: And build a bridge...
Crow: Or a castle.
Through the power of the blood atonement we can speak
unto those programs of the enemy in our minds and
little by little we can overcome every destructive habit.
Crow: Even biting my nails?
Tom: You don't have nails, Crow.
Tom: Guys, I think it's over.
Mike: You sure?
Tom: Well, look.
Mike: Yeah, guess you're right. Come on, let's get out of here.
Crow: Kumbaya, my Lord, kumbaya...
Mike: <Jack Benny> Now Cut That Out!
[6...5...4...3...2...1...]
Crow: Well, I could have lived without that little puppy.
Tom: Tell me about it. Mike, how do you figure that a treatise so obsessed
with the soul could leave one feeling so spiritually empty?
Mike: I don't know, I didn't even read _The Celestine Prophecy_.
Tom: D'oh!
Mike: But I kid the soul. The truth is, when you babble on for a hundred-odd
lines with very little of substance to say, you're bound to induce feelings of
vitamin deficiency in your readers, regardless of your subject matter.
[to monitor] What do you think, sirs?
[Deep 13. Dr. F and Frank are staring at one of the monitors, which features a
dazzling view of the Hale-Bopp.]
Dr. F: Certainly is a sight, isn't it, Frank?
Frank: Sure is, Clay. Just think, older than civilization itself. If this
iceball could talk, what stories it could tell.
Dr. F: Only a matter of time now.
Frank: Absolutely. [he pauses] Till what?
Dr. F: Till the asteroid impacts, you boob!
Frank: Asteroid?
Dr. F: Once it makes it's presence felt, it'll wreak havoc on the earth!
Thousands will perish, governments will be thrown into disarray. What more
perfect opportunity for me to seize control?
Frank: Ah, I see what's happened here. Dr. F, I'm sorry to break this to you,
but there isn't going to be any asteroid collision.
Dr. F: There isn't? What do you mean?
Frank: You've been taken in by a hoax. A 'Net rumor, if you will, started by a
few fanciful "astronomers" and given little creedence by most of the
scientific community. Don't you think that if such a collision were imminent,
there would have been some reports of it in the more sensationalistic aspects
of the media?
Dr F: Well, I, uh, really haven't had time to look at the paper lately...
Frank: And really, now that the comet's this close, it's plain to any budding
astronomer with a decent telescope that no mystery object is anywhere in
the vicinity of its gravity pull. Why, a mere child could have deduced that.
Dr. F: Frank...
Frank: It's actually rather amusing, really. The great Dr. Forrester,
bushwacked and bejiggered by such an obvious fool's tale. I mean, really,
<chuckles> you have to laugh. Hee hee hee... <starts giggling>
Dr. F: That's it. Come with me, Cesar Romero, and I'll give you an astronomy
lesson you won't soon forget. Know what planet's next to Neptune?
Frank: Pluto, right?
[Dr. F grabs Frank's ear and tugs him offstage, pushing the button as he goes]
\ /
- fssht -
/ \
Mystery Science Theatre 3000 and all related characters copyright and
trademark 1997 Best Brains Inc. Any relationship to any real people, living or
dead, is completely coincidental. This is not a personal attack on Arianna
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greatest audiences in the world.
--
"Destroy your safe and happy lives before it is too late." --Mekons
"We are experiencing sensational difficulties."--Marcy's Threshhold
"Don't kill yourself 'cause people can't deal with your brilliance"--Kaia
http://acs4.bu.edu:8001/~truth
--
"Destroy your safe and happy lives before it is too late." --Mekons
"We are experiencing sensational difficulties."--Marcy's Threshhold
"Don't kill yourself 'cause people can't deal with your brilliance"--Kaia
http://acs4.bu.edu:8001/~truth