Message from discussion It's true! Maltin gave it three stars!

From: sunb...@exit109.com (Bonnie S Walling)
Subject: It's true! Maltin gave it three stars!
Date: 1997/03/08
Message-ID: <sunbird-0803972136200001@news.exit109.com>#1/1
X-Deja-AN: 224072366
Organization: Alantic Internet Technologies, Inc.
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc


The Brains weren't kidding--Leonard Maltin really did give "The Undead"
three stars! I thought for sure they were joking, so I looked it up--and
sure enough, he did!

Let me remind you again, folks--this man also gave "Monty Python and the
Holy Grail" two and a half stars. That means that, in his eyes, that piece
of excrement from the bowels of Roger Corman is better entertainment than
the Pythons at their best. This man should be hunted down and lynched.

Other thoughts--as a Wiccan, I have to say that "The Undead" is to Witches
what "Amos and Andy" was to African Americans and all those cornball old
Hollywood Westerns were to Native Americans. Add that to the cardboard
acting, confusing script, the loathsome singing loony, and THAT @#$% IMP,
and you have a recipe for pure evil. 

Fortunately, the Brains rose to the occasion and gave it the thorough
drubbing it deserved. The "dancing corpses" scene was one of the funniest
stretches of MSTing in a long time. "We are family, I've got Satan's
corpses with me. . ."

And, of course, the fab lines kept coming and coming:

"At Chili's, we flame-broil our credits to perfection!"
"I wouldn't want to be downwind of Roger Corman's backdraft!"
"Ah, lung cancer!"
"Dirty, greasy walls--a short-lived design fad."
"Weekend at Bernie's--the early years!"
"They're smudging the orange grove!"
"Please get me out of this film! Please! I'll go back to waitressing, I
promise!"
"She's hitting the Happy Hour with Margaret Hamilton!"
"What the hell is this--a bust of Xiang Kai-Shek (spelling?) made out of liver?"
"Now I understand dwarf-tossing!"
"I have an urge to pour Frangelico out of his neck."
"Sir Bob of Packood!" and "Sir Gull of Bull!"
"If this were a Coen Brothers film, he'd be in the woodchipper so fast. . ."
"Grab a Ziploc for the head and a meat diaper for all the juice!"
"World's largest chin ass!" (Line of the Night)
"Now he's just naked from the waist down, butt cheeks flappin' in the wind. . ."
"This is a very dispirited Easter egg hunt."
"I haven't crapped in months!"
"Here comes Frair Tuck's medicated pads!"
"Satan, pull my gauntlet!"
"Kill me, fine, but do I have to look at your hairy torso?"
"Outdone by Bob Fosse in a Peter Pan hat!"

And one final observation--Tom Servo looked *great* in those Jedi
Knight-esque Observer robes. How about we get up a letter-writing campaign
to get him cast as the young Obi-Wan Kenobi in the Star Wars prequels?

-- 
"Stock footage is hell!"--Crow T. Robot, MST3K ("Amazing Colossal Man")