Only Aliens are Accepted!
Cosmic Spider
Are you an ALIEN from another world?
... EARTH'S ALIEN REGISTRATION OFFICE wants you!
You will be pleased to know that you are not alone, so register
yourself with the Earth's Alien Emigration Office ASAP as you are
required by the laws stipulated in the INTERSTELLAR AGREEMENT
(ALF-8080-ET)
Tell us what you are, where you are from, why you are here, and what
you think of Earthlings. Earth wants to know! If for some reason you are
stranded and unable to get back home, please let us know, and if a space
ship ever lands in the area we will try and get you a seat.
The form found at the office are for EXTRA TERRESTRIALS ONLY,
Earthlings will not be registered.
The Forms can be filled out at:
http://www.total.net:8080/~cosmics/
PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE, if for some reason you need to
reach us for questions and directions or complaints, you can do so at:
Cos...@Earthling.net
See ya Around the Cosmos
Cosmic Spider
Cos...@Earthling.net
http://www.total.net:8080/~cosmics/
JESTER
{Editor's note - this is my first posted MiSTing of anything...be gentle}
<PEARL> Well Kid Video, your expiriment this week is a blantent attempt to
stall alien colonization by distracting them with spam. Otherwise known
as, "Only Aliens Accepted," a recent post on rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc. Maybe
you've seen it? Enjoy!
<SOL>
<MIKE> I don't know, I've always been more of a fan of
alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk <alarm!!!!> fl..we've got movie sign!
<5,4,3,2,1>
> Are you an ALIEN from another world?
<TOM> Do you crave human flesh to keep your species in exsistance?
> ... EARTH'S ALIEN REGISTRATION OFFICE wants you!
<CROW> I love those posters with this slogan and Uncle Klatuu pointing at
me.
> You will be pleased to know that you are not alone, so register
> yourself with the Earth's Alien Emigration Office ASAP
<MIKE> ASAP...A stupid alien program.
<TOM> I hear New York and New Jersey are fighting over on whose land the
Alien Emigration Office really is.
<MIKE> Judging by the people who live there, I'd say it's a tie.
> as you are required by the laws stipulated in the INTERSTELLAR AGREEMENT
<MIKE> Didn't they have to shut down the government because of a dispute
over the INTERSTELLAR AGREEMENT?
> (ALF-8080-ET)
<CROW> Looks like alien graffiti.
> Tell us what you are, where you are from, why you are here,
<MIKE> Your ovapositer size.
> and what you think of Earthlings.
<TOM> (alien voice) I think they taste great with a side of Venusian Slime
Devil. (slurp, slurp, slurp)
> Earth wants to know!
<MIKE> The Earthquirer...for inquiring Earth minds.
> If for some reason you are stranded
<TOM> In space...
> and unable to get back home, please let us know,
<CROW> For we will laugh at you.
> and if a space
> ship ever lands in the area we will try and get you a seat.
<TOM> Assuming all aliens have asses and hence need seats.
> The form found at the office are for EXTRA TERRESTRIALS ONLY,
<CROW> Yes, I'd like an ET form...
<MIKE> We don't serve your kind here!
<TOM> I guess form is like fish..no pluralization needed!
> Earthlings will not be registered.
<MIKE> So anyone who wants to use the likenesses of Earthlings is free to
do so without any copyright infringement...
> The Forms can be filled out at:
<CROW> WWW.BITEME.COM
> http://www.total.net:8080/~cosmics/
<TOM> Oh, look at the ~...it must be for Spanish aliens only.
> PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE,
<MIKE> Why?
> if for some reason you need to
> reach us for questions and directions or complaints, you can do so at:
> Cos...@Earthling.net
<TOM> And thousands of Babylon 5 fans rush to grab a pen.
<CROW> You mean hundreds...
<MIKE> And they wouldn't grab a pen, they'd highlight it and click on
copy.
> See ya Around the Cosmos
<MIKE> (as Carl Sagan) Amongst the billions and billions of stars.
> Cosmic Spider
<TOM> Wasn't that a David Bowie tour?
> Cos...@Earthling.net
> http://www.total.net:8080/~cosmics/
<CROW> The preceding messege has been paid for by your extra-terrestrial
tax dollars.
<MIKE> This just proves that alien spam tastes just as bad.
<EXIT THEATER>
=============================================================================
Roger Ebert on Rob Reiner's "North" -
"I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this
movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant
audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that
thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the
audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it."
Roger Ebert: A Bad Film's Worst Nightmare!!!!
=============================================================================