MiSTed: All My Children episode [4/4]
Christine Malcom
From=20c...@midway.uchicago.edu Wed Feb 5 16:14:45 1997
Date: Wed, 5 Feb 1997 13:32:44 -0600
From: Christine Malcom <cm...@midway.uchicago.edu>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps.abc
Subject: AMC: MiSTED 1/14/97 episode [4/4] (long)
Scott=D5s Car
(Scott and Laura kiss loudly) (a knock on the window) =20
Tom: Lapel mics for a petting scene. Interesting choice
S: Oh...MAN! (rolls down window)
Crow: (as cop) Eh, Kid, you got any a dat grey
poupon? It's great on fritters.=20
Cop: You know, this *really* isn=D5t a good place to park kids. The roads
are icy. cars swerve. So why don't you go on home?
=20
Tom: Stationary cars swerve?=20
Crow: And you're trying to tell me this *isn't* an alternate
universe, nelson?=20
=20
S: Thanks. (cop leaves) Like home is possible.
L: I'm really cold.
S: You're embarassed.
Crow: (as Laura) Well Scott, it's not as though you're winning
any popularity contests. You think I want my sex life with Beaver
to be the talk of the policeman's ball?=20
=20
L: Yeah. Mortified would fit, too, I think. =20
S: Remember when we had Uncle Adam=D5s all to ourselves. The ballroom,
good food, candles everywhere?=20
L: How could I forget?
Crow: (as Laura) I still have the scars from the candle wax=20
*grrrrrow!*
Mike: Crow! She's 17!
Tom: And I'm guessin' she could teach *you* a thing or two,=20
femmeboy.=20
=20
S: We'll have that again soon. No intrusions, just us. I=D5ll make it
happen. I promise (starts car)
Edmund's darkened office.
E: (slams door. sits at desk, angrily brushes everything to the floor.
flashback.)
Mike: And where is your concern for the plight of the proletariat
now, Mr. Grey. Leaving that mess for your cleaning lady! *tsk*=20
Tom: Up the Revolution!=20
D: Since...I've given up...the Hunting Lodge, denying Erica's request
would seem very strange. I=D5m sorry I put you on the spot. The decision
is yours. I won=D5t even broach the subject with Edmund if you don=D5t wan=
t
me to. Maria, it would mean the world to Erica, and to me if we could
find some way to make this work? =20
Tom: Peg A, slot B...are you two *sure* you had sex?
E: (enters) make what work? (guilty looks from Dimitri and Maria)
(flashback)=20
E: (puts arm around Maria) Listen, there=D5s gonna be a big hole in our
lives now that Noah and Julia are gone, so let=D5s try to fill it up with
the blessings that we do have. Sam, and a new baby on the way, right,
Peg? (guilty looks from Peggy and Dimitri) what=D5s going on with you two?=
=20
(flashback)=20
M: You should go to San Francisco. You really want to do this story.
Mike: (as a hypnotized Edmund) Yes. I do want this story.=20
=20
E: There=D5ll be other stories.=20
M: No, there=D5s not going to be another story like this one. You are
Maxwell Brewer=D5s biggest fan. I know that, honey...c=D5mon. You can cal=
l
and check on me. Every hour on the hour, I=D5m gonna be fine. You=D5re on=
ly
gonna be gone for a couple of days. Okay? (Dimitri hovers in the
background)
(return to present)=20
(looks at Christening picture with Erica, Dimitri, Maria and him. Picks
it up. Hurls it and knocks over monitor. Clutches head. Skye enters.
Close up of broken photo on floor).=20
Crow: Well, that move to foam core computer hardware came just=20
in the nick of time.
Matt and Hayley=D5s apartment
T: You know, it=D5s pretty tricky making friends with your best friend=D5s
girl, but I think we=D5re pretty solid. (Hayley is asleep. He looks at her=
,
guiltily? A key sounds in the door, he covers her. Matt enters) Hey.
She crashed out in the credits.
M: Ahhh...should I take her to bed?
Tom: (Meg Ryan voice) Take her to bed, ya big stud or lose her
ferever
=20
T: Mmm? Yeah.=20
H: (murmurs in sleep) Papi...
M: What=D5d she say? =20
Crow: Whoa...I don't think we wanna go there
Tom: *Must* you use that phrase? =20
Crow: It's kinda addictive...=20
T: Oh, probably the name of some ex-boyfriend or something.
M: (laughs as he lifts her) Yeah, probably some stranger. Can you get
the door for me? Hey, it looks like you were pretty good company.=20
T: Yeah, I=D5m losing my touch.=20
Mike: Bad Touch! =20
M: Yeah, you definitely are (laughs). Good night. (closes door)=20
T: (looks determined. To the living room:) Any time, my friend. Any
time. =20
Crow: He's just so *not* menacing! =20
Tom: No Kidding. The Pillsbury Doughboy is a more effective
villain
Wildwind
D: (on the phone) The Mercer Island Bistro. Erica and Bianca uh love it
Tom: Oh, *there's* a surprise.=20
there. Well, when when when will they be back? Congratulations? Oh,
thank you, Travis, yes. I hope Bianca=D5s looking forward to another
brother or sister. I=D5ll call again (hangs up).
=20
Crow: Like she looks forward to acne, no doubt.=20
=20
M: (enters looking stricken) I told Edmund. He knows everything.=20
(Dimitri=D5s face twitches and he looks at the floor)=20
Tom: Oh, he does not. I bet he has no *clue* what the GNP of=20
Burkino Faso is.
Edmund=D5s Office
S: Deadline stress? It=D5s epidemic. It=D5ll be a wonderful issue, Edmu=
nd.
It always is.=20
E: I=D5m glad you=D5re here. =20
S: There=D5s no place that I=D5d rather be. Whatever it is, Edmund, you=
=D5re
not alone
Crow: As if *that* weren't painfully obvious.=20
Tom: *Please* tell me that's the end
Mike: *biting nails* Oh if he does it with Skye on the desk
I'm going to be *livid* I mean...
(Crow and Tom groan)
(Door Sequence)=20
(Tom Servo and Crow are at the control panel staring at legal pads,=20
scribbling occasionally.)
Crow: Hmmm... what about evil siamese triplets?
Tom: (Thinks) I like it. Implausible, yet engagingly lurid.
Crow: Like a good wine.
Mike: (Enters and watches the exchange.)
Crow: The great thing is, they've established this "no one is=20
indispensable" precedent, y'know?
Tom: Exactly! We could axe anyone we like!
Crow: (As Sinatra) Pink slip, baybee!
Mike: Um... do I want to know what's going on here?
Tom: Well, Mike, just using history as a gauge, the answer would=20
probably be, "No, but you feel you should anyway."
Crow: Actually, Mike, we think you'll be pleased.
Tom: Yes, your questionable taste in entertainment has inspired us. =20
We've decided to become...
Tom and Crow: (In unison, with grandiosity) Powers That Be!
Mike: I... see. Um... well...
Crow: ^QCause, no offense, but I think we're just as qualified as=20
anyone working there now.
Tom: And, when we heard that Disney is involved, well, "Chu-ching!"
Mike: Guys, I don't think it's really that simple to...
Crow: Pfft! Come on! How hard can it be?
Tom: I'm a little hurt at your lack of faith in us, Mike.
Crow: Hurt and more than a little surprised.
Tom: I mean, aside from our obvious lack of credentials and respect=20
for the medium--
Crow: Which has never stopped anyone *else* from having a career in=20
daytime, thank you.
Tom: -- I think we could bring a rather refreshing perspective to=20
some otherwise shopworn plots.
Mike: For instance?
Crow: (Smugly) We thought you'd never ask. (Hands him a sheet of=20
paper, which Mike reads.)
Mike: (Somewhat paler than a moment ago. Reading aloud:) "Maria and=20
Edmund's baby is born with two heads?"
Tom: How many times have you seen *that* on daytime? I mean, outside=20
of Jerry Springer.
Crow: See, that way, you not only get the paternity mix-up, you get=20
the "tragic carnival freak drama" of it all.
Tom: (Suddenly excited.) Oh! Oh! And *one* head could look just=20
like Edmund ---
Crow: --- and the other like Dimitri! Love it!
Mike: (Still reading:) "Erica's child is born with scales and bat-like=20
wings?!"
Crow: (Defensively) It's part of our "Wildwind Freak Show" story arc.
Tom: A poignant blend of social issues and science fiction, Mike. Or=20
is that a little too... well... *highbrow* for your tastes?
Crow: Plus we can work in some carny stuff for Myrtle!
Tom: Hey, character history! Love it!
Mike: (Takes another page off the table.) Let me see this...
Tom: See? He's already dying to know what happens next!
Crow: We're a hit!
Mike: "Janet Green is revealed to be the leader of an invading force=20
of she-goddesses from the planet Fem-Ra?"
Crow: See, our premise is that Trevor has actually been *right* all=20
these years.
Tom: And, honestly, how else do you explain her vast superiority?
Crow: Plus, the beauty part is that the whole race looks JUST LIKE=20
ROBIN MATTSON! That way, she gets that "multiple role" Emmy=20
shoo-in deal going!
Tom: Heck, David Canary just plays two people! Robin will have=20
*millions*!
Crow: Pick your Emmy dress *now*, lady! Grrrowr!
Mike: (Still reading:) Man, this is just too -- Oh, now come on!=20
"Skye Chandler: Zombie Mistress?!"
Tom: (Affronted) Hey, it accounts for the pallor, doesn't it?
Crow: Trouble is, she has to live off of eating brains, but she keeps=20
going after the wrong people!
Tom: "Skye cracks open Hayley's head... OOPS!"
Crow: "Skye takes a shovel to Tanner's noggin... OOPS!"
Tom: Wacky comedy is needed for balance, Mike.
Mike: But... but... this is all cheap sci-fi!
Tom: Which opens the show up to a whole new audience! It's=20
brilliant!
Crow: A ratings bonanza!
Mike: "Nightmare at Willow Lake... Pierce Riley is actually an evil=20
druid, leaving the seclusion of the cabin to seek sacrifices for=20
his dark rituals..." (Reads on in silence.) I can't believe=20
you'd do that to Anita!
Tom: During sweeps? In a heartbeat!
Crow: And Bianca, too!
Tom: Wait a minute... Anita is still a virgin, isn't she?
Crow: I think. Still, we'd better hurry.
Mike: (Profoundly disturbed, to camera.) Well, y'all, I'm gonna have=20
to say that's about all for Mystery Soap Theatre 3000...
Crow: (To Tom) What about "Liza Colby: Red Hot Exorcist Mama?"
Tom: Love it! And that gives us an opening for Myrtle's new leather=20
clothing shop, too.
Crow: (Scribbling) I love integrated storytelling.
Mike: So, if any of you see Francesca James on the street, I'd kind of=20
appreciate it if you'd warn her about... well... this.
Tom: "Clippers II: Dixie's Revenge!"
Crow: Oooh! I smell a guest shot!
Mike: G'night.
Christine "Couscous" Malcom-Dept. of Anthropology (cm...@kimbark.uchicago.ed=
u)
Indestructible Gouda Llama Woman promises to go away again now.=20
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"Let the wild Rumpus start!" - Maurice Sendak