MiSTed: "I'm Dreaming of a Coruscant Christmas" (4/4)
Roland Warner
Crow: Someone's got to save Santa, guys.
Mike: We can't do anything about it, Guys.
> At the Sky Palace, one of the swankiest hotels on Coruscant, the
> party was jumpin' before Han and Leia arrived.
Tom: Isn't that nice? The narrator's using street lingo to make us
feel more comfortable.
> Lando had hired a band of
> jizz-wailers, the Azwat Four.
Mike: Jizz-wailers? That's disgusting! That's more than disgusting,
that's sick to the
lowest degree!
> They were actually pretty good. Wuher
Crow: No relation to Kari.
> was dispensing a variety of drinks at the bar, and Dash had already struck
> up a conversation with two women in tight dresses.
Tom: Oh boy, let's hope they smack him at the same time!
> They noticed that the
> local news was outside, reporting on the Ôparty of the century'.
Mike: [Reporter] The empire's attacking us from all sides, but who
cares? We've got the Party
of the Century going on here!
> Lando immediately noticed Leia and Callista and Winter.
Crow: [Lando] Whatever you do, don't ask where Han and Mara are.
> After
> greeting them, he went outside to greet the attractive newswoman. After
> the interview was over, he invited her in for some drinks. A few minutes
> later, Han noticed that he and the woman were going to his private room.
Tom: Does anyone here think about anything else but sex?
> "Well, now that the news is gone, who's in the mood for some sabacc?"
> Dash shouted.
Crow: Sabacc?
Tom: I think it's the Star Wars version of tobacco.
Crow: Maybe that's where Darth Vader got his emphysema problem.
> There was a resounding "yeah" but Han said, "Wait! It'll be more fun
> when Lando is playing. Give him..." Han paused to look at his wrist
> chromomater. "5...4...3...2...1..."
Mike: [Announcer] RKO Pictures is proud to present . . .
> Lando popped out of the room and said,
> "Now did I hear there was a sabacc game going on?"
Crow: [Han] Not "sabacc", "stand back"!
> The newswoman came out and left for the station. Lando mouthed, "I
> scored!" as she walked out,
Mike: I bet you next day, the headlines will read "Loser Lando's Tiny
Area".
> then took his tally card out and marked a new
> one down.
Tom: He's keeping a tally of all the women he's scored with? Mike,
I'm gong to be sick.
Mike: It's almost over, Tom. Remember that.
> Han, Dash, Lando, and several other guys all sat down to play
> sabacc.
Crow: I'm still no closer to knowing what sabacc is!
> * * * *
> Jacen and Jaina's party was swinging as planned. Everyone was a
> little drunk.
Mike: Meanwhile, at the speakeasy.
> Jaina felt people grabbing her ass with the Force. Just as
> she felt someone grab her chest,
Crow: [sobbing] This all just so *wrong*.
Tom: Please, tell me this is only a nightmare. I can't take anymore
of it!
Mike: We're all having the same nightmare, Tom.
Tom: So, we're all just Dreaming of a Coruscant Christmas?
Mike: Exactly, that's where the title comes from. It appears only in
our nightmares.
> she turned around and said, "Who the
> HELL is grabbing me with the Force? Come on, you hornball, OWN UP!"
Mike: [Narrator] Luke stifled a giggle.
Tom: Now you're being sick too, Mike.
> She looked around until she saw one of Zeblis's friends from CHS. After
> she kicked his ass, she would have to tell him about the Jedi Academy.
Crow: How nice, he's about to get his butt whooped by a girl, and then
invited to her school.
If that's not a low blow to the the male ego, I don't know what is.
> But Zeblis got there first. He and the guy were smacking each other
> around and shouting.
> "Don't grab my girlfriend's ass, you stupid sonofabitch!" Zeblis
> shouted.
Tom: There's still no evidence that he did it! That's gotta be bad,
being invited to a party,
and then cursed at.
> Meanwhile, upstairs in his room, Jacen had Tenel Ka sitting on the
> bed.
Mike: Uh oh, here we go again.
[Mike covers the bots eyes.]
Crow: Thank you, Mike.
> They had been going out for, on his count, two years. He never could
> figure out why she would never let him do anything more than kiss and
> sometimes touch her breasts.
Mike: [Tenel Ka] You see, Jacen, we're of two different species, and
well . . .
> Even Lowie had gotten a blowjob from a
> Wookie chick.
Mike: The hell? THAT'S SICK!
[He begins crying in his seat loudly.]
Mike: I never wanted to know the mating habits of the Wookiee! Please,
won't anyone save me?
[Off-screen, we here sleighbells, and thumping across the roof.
Suddenly, a giant crash is
heard, and a giant man falls through the roof and lands beside Tom.]
Mike: It's Santa!
Crow: Santa? Mike, drop your hands now!
[Mike uncovers the bots eyes, and they jump to see Santa sitting beside
them.]
Santa: Ho ho ho! Hello Mike, Tom and Crow! I stop off at this strange
castle with this
baboon, pale-faced mime and Pearl, when suddenly the baboon traps me and
sends me up here!
Crow: Mike, we've got to save Santa! He shouldn't be seeing things
like these!
Santa: Like what?
> He couldn't even get a hand job!
Santa: Uh oh, Christmas is cancelled this year! I never knew that
these little boys and girls
could be such naughty brats!
Tom: It's not real, Santa. It's only a bad fanfic.
Crow: Yeah, really bad. Pearl sent you up at a bad time.
Tom: Is there anything we can do, Mike?
Mike: I don't think so. Santa, you're stuck here with us it seems.
Santa: But the boys and girls . . .
Crow: They'll hafta wait.
Santa: So, what is this about?
Mike: Um, lots of sex, partying, and violence.
Santa: Oh no, it's just like when Woodstock hit the North Pole! I
couldn't get the elves back
to work for days!
> And god knows what
> Zeblis, or Kyp Durron, or anyone else had gotten from Jaina.
Santa: So, what do we do while we're reading this?
Mike: Well, we basically take lines out of the story, and make
sarcastic remarks. Just watch
and you'll see.
> He'd spent
> more evenings alone pretending it was Tenel's right hand instead of his
> own.
Crow: Jacen leads a lonely life.
Santa: Ho ho ho! I see! Here, let me try.
> Good thing he didn't share a room with Jaina anymore.
Santa: That way, he can get more presents when I come to visit!
Mike: Um, I think you're missing it by a bit, Santa.
> He leaned over and started kissing Tenel. She responded, kissing
> back, but when he tried to push his hand up her leg any farther than her
> knee, she backed off.
Santa: Oooh, someone's going on the naughty list permanently!
Crow: Well, that one was better.
> "Tenel Ka, we've been going out for two years now.
Mike: Does this qualify us for senior discounts?
> We've known
> each other for longer. Why haven't you let us go any further than
> kissing?" Jacen asked, his eyes pleading.
Santa: Uh oh, Jacen's going to ask her for a Furby.
Tom: Zing! He's got it, guys!
> "Is that all you care about? Sex? Is that the only reason you're
> going out with me? Because I have a nice ass?
Crow: [Jacen] Breasts!
> Are you comparing our
> relationship with others? You know, Jacen, I thought you were above
> that." Tenel Ka said. She had fire in her eyes. Jacen didn't know how to
> respond.
Mike: You mean, they've been going out for two years and he's never
made a move on her?
> "No, Tenel Ka...I do love you, and not just because you have a nice
> body. And...well, I don't know, I guess I...I just thought that our
> relationship would eventually go, you know, well...in....that...um...direction.
> So...well...how Ôbout it?" Jacen said cautiously.
Santa: What's going on here, fellows?
Tom: Well, there was this party, Christmas morning, another party, and
then this party.
Mike: That's about the best summary I've heard for this.
Santa: You mean there's no plot?
Crow: Unless the whole thing revolves around everyone having sex, I
don't think there's
anything to this story.
> "Jacen, I never told you this, but I do obey certain Hapan customs.
> And one of them is to surround yourself with attractive men, but no sex
> until marriage." Tenel Ka said.
Mike: Doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of attractive men then?
> "But don't you mainly subscribe to Dathomiran customs?" Jacen
> asked, confused.
Santa: What're Dathomiran customs?
Mike: Don't ask us, we've never read any of the Star Wars novels.
> "Yes, but I can't be more than a warrior on Dathomir, and I am in line
> to rule the Hapes Cluster. I don't want to jeopardize that, even though I
> am more of a warrior than a politician." she explained.
Crow: That certainly does seem odd, since she likes to talk a lot.
> "Oh...okay." Jacen said, disappointed. He wanted to get his nookie
> elsewhere,
Mike: Gee, earlier Zeblis wanted a nookie, maybe Jacen could help.
Santa: Hey, I have a nookie right here in my sa-
M,T,&C: NO!
Santa: What?
Tom: You don't understand, Santa.
> but if he dumped Tenel Ka for not putting out, no girl would
> ever talk to him again.
Crow: That's a sure-fire reason to keep your girlfriend!
> * * * *
Mike: Second star to the right and straight on 'till morning.
> Leia, not able to hold her liquor as well as before her pregnancies,
> had collapsed on the sofa after a few drinks. Luke was sitting next to
> her, the designated driver.
Santa: That reminds me of the time all the Reindeer got drunk on
Christmas Eve off of
egg-nogg. Poor Rudolph had to guide the sleigh all by himself.
Crow: It's a good thing you didn't crash, or else you'd end up with the
"Donner Party", hah!
Tom: Miiike! Crow made a bad pun.
Mike: You're on warning Crow.
> He was making sure men weren't trying to pick
> up Leia. Mara Jade, Davin, Wedge and Qwi Xux, and Callista were playing a
> drinking game.
Mike: Okay, anytime Dash pulls out his "Sexy Santa" outfit, take two
drinks. Whenever Leia
gets really pissed, take one drink. Whenever anyone actually finishes
having sex, drink the
entire case of beer.
> "What you have to do is every time Kcid Kralc says the words New
> Year's, drink once. Every time he asks about resolutions, drink twice.
> And if you catch him hitting on someone, you have to chug for 5 seconds."
Tom: And if anyone ever explains who Kcid Kralc is, will develop a
retro-80s style of music
going back to the host of "Dnatsdnab Nacirema".
> Everyone nodded in agreement. The fun started. Right away Callista
> yelled, "Look at that! His hand's on her ass!"
Santa: This is horrible! It's just so *wrong*!
Crow: I know, Santa, I know.
Tom: Poor Santa. He was never meant to be subjected to this.
[Tom rests his head on Santa's arm. Santa silently begins to cry. Mike
gently pats Santa's
shoulder.]
Crow: If it makes you feel better, Santa, Han got smacked with an
aluminum bat earlier.
Santa: [Sobbing] Really?
Mike: And Luke got smacked by Leia.
Santa: [Clearing up] I guess there still is hope after all.
> The others cheered and
> passed Callista the bottle of Verratan wine. Callista put the bottle to her
> lips and chugged as they all counted "1....2....3....4...5...!"
M,T,&C: Ahhhhh! We've got movie sign!
> She slammed down
> the bottle and wiped her lips with her wrist.
> "We'll be back after this message with more resolutions!" Kralc
> said.
Tom: [Drunk] *hic* I'd like to thank booze *hic* for all the elves
that made this acid flash
possible.
> Promptly everyone poured two shots of Corellian brandy and drained
> them. Mara noted that Qwi was able to hold liquor a lot better than she
> had expected.
>
Santa: The End. Let's go, guys.
Mike: No such luck, Santa. We've tried that several times.
> Across the room, the sabacc game was going strong. The high stakes
> had driven everyone except Han, Dash, and Lando out of the game.
Crow: Okay, cue the ragtime music "The Entertainer" from "The Sting".
> Suddenly, the door opened. Boba Fett was standing in the door.
Tom: [Boba] I've come for the Tickle Me Salacious Crumb.
> "Am I late?" the bounty hunter asked. No one responded and
> continued partying.
Mike: They stopped being surprised when Andy Capp showed up.
> While Han was occupied in a hand of sabacc, Boba
> walked by Leia and patted her on the ass.
Santa: Someone's got to stop him! That's the second time someone's
been touching someone
else's rear-end.
> "Just like I remember." Boba said. Luke stood up.
> "Hey, Boba , don't touch Leia! She's drunk and very vulnerable." he
> said.
Crow: Did you know that "very vulnerable" wasn't added until the
special edition of "I'm
Dreaming of a Coruscant Christmas" was released?
> "Really?" Boba said. There was a gleam in his eye invisible through
> his mask.
> "Yes, Boba."
> "Well, would you mind if I put her in the back bedroom? She looks
> like she could use some rest and with this-" he motioned to the sabacc
> game and the drinking game- "she won't sleep very well."
Santa: Ho ho ho! How nice of him! He gets an extra present this year.
> "Well, okay. Just promise you won't do anything." Luke said. Boba
> picked Leia up and carried her into the back bedroom. He laid her down on
> the bed.
Crow: Isn't there supposed to be some "wocka-chicka wocka-chicka"
music?
> "Uhhhhhhhhhhhh....whu..where am I?" Leia slurred, stirring.
> "At the party. You said you would do me." Boba said.
> "Ummmm...I d...did?" Leia said. She was laying on the bed
> tantalizingly and was obviously far beyond protest.
Tom: Yanni will do that to you.
> "Hhhhhhhan? Is, uh, that you?" Leia mumbled as Boba started to take
> off her dress.
> "Uh, yeah babe, it's me." Boba said.
Mike: Uh oh, now we're gonna have little Boba's everywhere.
> "Oh....ummmm, Han....lemme uh, ya know, suck you off.... I know you
> want me to." Leia said, fumbling at Boba's groin. He unsnapped his cup
> shield when he heard Han in the front room.
Santa: Oh, I know! [Han] Where'd all this coal in my stocking come
from??
Mike: Close, but you need to let go of Christmas for a bit, Santa.
> "WHERE THE HELL IS LEIA???" Han yelled.
> "She's in the back bedroom with Boba Fett." Luke said.
> "WHAT? YOU LET THIS HAPPEN???"
> "It's okay, Han...he promised he wouldn't do anything." Luke said.
Crow: [Luke] He said he had the perfect cure for a hangover.
> "Palpatine's spirit he won't! Leia? Leia?"
> Boba hadn't even remembered Leia was in the room until he felt her
> mouth on his hardened organ.
Santa: NOOOO! I can't take anymore of it!
[Santa faints.]
Mike: Uh oh, we just lost Santa, guys.
Crow: Poor guy never stood a chance against something of this
magnitude.
> He pushed her off of him.
> "Leia, get off me. We can't do this." Boba said, watching the door.
> "Whuuuuy, Han?" she said, sucking it back in. At that moment, Han
> burst through the door.
Tom: [Leia to Han] *hic* Not you again, Jabba.
> "YOU BASTARD!!!!!" Han shouted, training his blaster on Boba.
> "Honest, Solo, it's not what it looks like."
Crow: [Leia] Han, I still love you! It's just that Boba is the "Now
Guy".
> "Oh. So my wife isn't giving you head. What is she doing?
> Examining you for hernias real carefully? Well I didn't hear any coughing
> on your part." Han said.
> Leia looked up and got off Boba. "Han? Who's in the room?"
Mike: [Leia] *hic* I see lots of tribbles. *hic* Where the hell did
they come from?
> "I'm here, you're on Boba Fett." Han explained.
> "No.....th...this is H..Han. Who're youuuu?" Leia slurred. Han could tell
> that she was bombed beyond belief.
Crow: I had no clue! I guess that's the only way Boba can get a woman.
> "Look, Solo, I don't want to start another fight. My ribs are still
> healing from last time." Boba said.
Tom: [Boba] And I still want my Tickle-Me-Salacious Crumb!
> "Then get off my wife and join my Sabacc game. All your winnings
> get transferred to me or I throw down and blow your ass away."
Mike: What, no "The Jerry Springer Show" entitled "Star Whores"?
Crow: I think that's a fanfic, Mike.
Mike: Really?
Crow: Yeah, and trust me, you don't want to read it.
Mike: Why not?
Crow: Let's just say, it's not very good if a fanfic like this out does
"Star Whores".
> Boba agreed, and Han and Boba put Leia's dress back on her and put
> her under the covers. Wedge carried Qwi back to the bedroom and put her
> down next to Leia.
Mike: Oh great. It's a good thing Santa's passed out.
>
> The sabacc game was down to Han, Lando, Dash, and now Boba. The
> men had been playing, and much money had been lost. Han was having a
> particularly bad night.
Santa: [Groggily] Whoa, what was that? Where am I?
Tom: Mike, Santa's coming to!
Mike: You ok, Santa?
Santa: I think so.
> "Okay, I'm still in. I bet a blowjob from Leia." Han said.
Santa: WAAAAH!
[Santa faints again.]
Crow: Mike, we've got to save Santa! I don't think he can take much
more of this torture.
Mike: I told you, Crow, we can't do anything. We're stuck here until
it's over, and we
haven't got much longer.
> The other three men gave him a look. "You mean that?" Lando said.
> "Yeah, I do." Han said. He took another look at the 22 that he was
> holding.
Tom: What a feeb, he already lost Blackjack!
> "Well, okay! If that's what we're betting, I bet sex with Mara."
> Lando said.
Crow: [Luke] Well, I bet my left hand that- oh, wait a second, that's
right, heh heh.
> ""You can't, she won't put out."
> "She owes me a big favor." Lando explained. Then he dealt the
> second hand.
Tom: Does anyone know how Sabacc is even played??
Mike: Beats me.
> "Sabacc!" Dash yelled, slamming his cards on the table. A perfect
> negative 23.
Crow: It looks like he won, I guess.
Mike: I think so . . . I'm still lost.
> Lando and Han glanced at each other and swallowed. They tapped
> Dash's cards. No skifters.
Tom: What're those?
> "I want Leia now. I'll save Mara for later." Dash said.
> "You can't have Leia now. She's piss drunk. Passed out." said Han.
> "I'll break the news to her and stuff tomorrow."
Mike: So, instead of telling her while she's drunk, he tells her when
she'll be irritated and hung over. Sounds like our Han.
> It was getting late. Mara yelled from the holoscreen, "The
> countdown's starting soon!"
Tom: [Mara] Heh, we're about to nuke the hell outta the Ewok village.
> Han and Wedge went to wake up Leia and Qwi. Luke used the force to
> help their drunkenness.
Crow: Wha- he could've done that earlier!! Why d-
Mike: Don't think about plot contrivances, Crow.
> "Han, I almost missed it! Where was I?" Leia asked, draping her
> arms around his neck.
Tom: [Han] Honey, remember Dash?
> Han and Boba were both glad that Leia didn't remember a thing. "You
> were pretty drunk, babe. Piss drunk, in fact."
Mike: [Leia] *hic* We'll be pissin', when we're winnin'!
> "It's time to count it down!" Callista yelled. She was sitting in
> Luke's lap. Everyone was waiting. Then they all started.
Crow: [Narrator] Every New Years Eve, all the creatures gathered in Mid
Town Square to see the
Chaos Orb fall.
> "10....." Luke wrapped his arms around Callista.
Tom: Wow, he got violent all of the sudden.
> "9......" Boba disappeared to the back of the room with an attractive
> young female senator.
Mike: Uh oh, Boba's gonna make out with Leia again!
> "8....." Dash took a big drink of Corellian, then propositioned a
> woman. She promptly slapped him.
Crow: YES!
Mike: WOO-HOO!
Tom: Give him one for me!
> "7....." Mara and Davin were all over each other like Ewoks in heat.
Tom: I never wanted to have an image like that in my head. As a
matter of fact, I could've lived my entire life without ever reading
that sentance and been more happier.
> "6...." Back at the kids' party, Zeblis took Jaina in his arms.
Mike: Looks like Zeblis is pissed off as well.
> "5...." At the same time, Jacen put his arm around Tenel Ka's waist.
> Tenel Ka wrapped her arms around Jacen's neck.
Crow: Oh no, this is turning into a snuff fic!
> "4...." Wedge picked up Qwi and held her in his arms.
Mike: Everyone's going down!
> "3...." Han held Leia against his chest.
Tom: Do it! Do it!
> "2...." Lando was kissing a newly arrived Tendra Rissant.
Crow: She arrived a bit late for the mass murder!
> "1...." Anakin shit his pants like a muthafucka!
Mike: Ladies and Gentlemen, our entire fanfic has been building up to
that last line.
> "HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!" everyone shouted. All the couples locked in
> kisses. Jacen almost lost it when Tenel Ka kissed him lovingly. Jaina
> was almost removing Zeblis's tongue with hers. Strands of chatter
> floated around the rooms.
Crow: So, does anyone have a clue as to exactly what year it *is*?
> "Happy New Year, Tenel Ka."
> "This is a fact."
Tom: Wha- who's saying what?
> "Look everyone! I shit my pants!!!"
Mike: And our running gag comes to an end.
> "Shut up Luke....nobody wants to play Yahtzee!"
> "You bet I would do WHAT??? To Dash RENDAR???? Happy fucking
> New Year, asshole!"
Crow: I'm confused.
> "Han, what were you thinking? Just pay him off. Hell, I'll pay him
> off!
> "Jaina...your dress is caught in my zipper."
Tom: C'mon, we need some names of people SPEAKING!
> The isolated chatter fell away as the strands of "Auld Lang Syne"
> echoed through Coruscant. Fireworks went off in the sky. It was peaceful
> again...but they all had a hell of a morning to look forward to. Everyone
> would be sleeping off hangovers...except Luke of course.
Crow: Luke would be trying to get something else off, heh heh heh.
> "Trivial Pursuit? Hi Ho Cherry-O?"
> "SHUT UP LUKE!!!!!!"
All: YES! THANK YOU!!
Tom: Our own special Christmas present from the folks at "I'm Dreaming
of a Corusacant
Christmas".
>
>
> The End
Mike: *sniff* Two of the most beautiful words in the english language.
Crow: It's amazing!
>
> By Katherine <mgoo...@earthlink.net> and Chester <chad...@juno.com>
>
Tom: Okay, we've got to remember these names when Santa comes to for
his
Naughty list. Now, what're we going to do with him?
Mike: I guess we've got to carry him out. Crow and Tom, you grab his
feet,
I'll grab his head, and together, we'll push him out.
[Crow and Tom gather at Santa's feet, Mike grabs his head, and they
begin
struggling with Santa. Slowly, they leave the theater.]
<@...1...2...3...4...5...6...*>
[Mike enters carrying dragging Santa behind him. They set him down
underneath the table.]
Crow: What do we do, guys? We've got to save Christmas!
Mike: I really don't know guys. What I do know though, is that Pearl's
gone too far this time. How can she send *Santa* up here?
Tom: Hey look guys, someone's calling on the HexField
[The HexField opens, showing Gypsy with a Santa hat on in Santa's
sleigh.]
Gypsy: Hi guys!
Mike: Gypsy?? How'd you get up there?
Crow: What're you doing in Santa's sleigh?
Gypsy: Wait! One question at a time! Evidently, we were next on
Santa's
list after that castle. Pearl visited us, and while she was preparing
to
steal the tree and ruin our Christmas, I stole the sleigh!
Santa Voice: On Dasher! On Dancer! On Prancer and Vixen!
Tom: Wait, that's Santa's voice! But, Santa's right here, passed out
at Mike's feet.
Gypsy: Well, I needed some help, and found the long-lost "Magic Voice"
to
perform Santa's Voice.
Mike: That's awesome, Gypsy! Hi there, Magic Voice!
MV: Hi, Mike, Tom, and Crow! I've missed you guys!
Gypsy: Well, I'm off now, Mitchell's house is next. He wants some
extra
body grease. Ugh. I'll see you guys later, and be sure to tell Mr.
Claus
that he'll get his sleigh back!
[The HexField closes.]
Crow: Wow, Gypsy and Magic Voice saved Christmas!
Tom: Wait, if Gypsy made off with the sleigh, then that means that
Pearl-
[Pearl enters.]
Pearl: -is still on your satellite.
Mike: Ack! NO!
Pearl: Actually, I thought I'd hate it up here, until I found this neat
Richard Basehart album! But anyway, I'm here to destroy your Christmas,
since I can't take over the world! [Pause] Um, so . . . when's dinner?
[Pearl disappears in a flash.]
Mike: Wow, look, the red light is flashing. Yes, Pearl?
[CF]
[Pearl is yelling at the Observer.
Pearl: -AND NEXT TIME, TELL ME BEFO- oh, Hi Nelson. [To Observer] I'll
talk with you later. [To Mike] Well, Nelson, another plan failed
tonight.
I do hope I managed to do a little to destroy your Christmas Spirit. If
I did,
please, be sure to fill out the complimentary card I left on the table.
On
a rather special note, I did find more stories by one of the authors of
today's
story! More pain awaits you next time! Bwuahahahahaha!
[The camera fades to black. Pretend you hear Pearl laughing through the
credits.]
[Fin]
-----
The Original Story by Katherine Goodman and Chad Hilse
MiSTed by Roland Warner
Please note that I do not have permission from the authors to MiST their
story. I
e-mailed them, but got no response. If you are one of the authors of
this story,
I hope I didn't offend you too much, because this was meant in good
humor. Not a
word has been omitted from this story, because I do not have permission,
which is
the reason why Mike, Tom, Crow, and Santa had to sit through the whole
thing
UN-edited. If you have the original story (and I pity you very much),
and notice
that something has been omitted, please let me know.
Many thanks to the proofreaders: Flamingo Kitty (flaming_cat) and Lori
Holuta!
Merry Christmas everybody, and I hope you managed to stomach as much of
this
story as I managed to.
The idea for the Debby doll/Stormtrooper Mix-up came from a text about
Star Wars
dolls that were nixed during production for whatever reason. Really
funny stuff,
you should check it out sometime!
"Star Wars" is Copyrighted by Lucasfilm Inc.
"Mystery Science Theater 3000" is copyrighted by Best Brains Inc.
No infringement was intended! Honest. I swear. Really, I do.
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> I need to get done with this so we can finish wrapping
> gifts. She says I'm not allowed to use adult scissors without supervision.
> So, Anakin, can I borrow your Crayola scissors? Luke said.