[MiSTing] "The Seminar" part 2
Tjats
---------------
[Mike and the 'Bots(back to normal) re-enter the theater]
> "Rotor?" Sally called into the walrus's tent.
SERVO[as Rotor]: Nope, not here.
> "Yeah?" came a reply.
> "I brought some hot chocolate. Do you want some?"
> "Okay." answered Rotor.
MIKE: Sally crawls into the tent to see Rotor and Amy Rose together!
'BOTS: NOOOOOOO!
> "I came to talk for awhile," said Sally, "about my father."
SERVO: It's always about you, isn't it?
> "Your father?" Rotor said in disbelief.
> "Yes. I came to tell you that you're not alone.
MIKE: Great, now Sally's turning into Gillian Anderson.
> I hadn't seen my
> father for over eleven years. After I went in the void, I found out that I
> can never be with him again. You are fortunate Rotor.
CROW: But Rotor's parents don't think freely anymore, so they're basicly even.
> You can find your
> parents, and when you do, you can have some chance of de-roboticizing them.
CROW: Oh.
> I, on the other hand,
SERVO[as Sally]: ...am a character that has been the target of several
atempted murders by
conspiring Archie Comic authors.
> will never see my daddy again." Sally quietly sipped
> her hot chocolate as a tear slowly ran down her cheek.
MIKE[as Sally]: This is really hot; look, my eyes are watering.
> "Oh, Sally. I'm really sorry. I never realized..."
SERVO[as Rotor]: ...that your parents were gone. I thought I saw them at the
latest Freedom
Fighter convention.
CROW[as Sally]: Those were the Mertzes, remember?
SERVO[as Rotor]: Oh, yeah.
> "Rotor, I'm not saying that your mourning in vain, but what I am
> saying is,
MIKE[as Sally]: You're not mourning in vain.
> appreciate the family you have. We're always here, Rotor. Always."
CROW: Coca-Cola.
> and with that, Sally left the tent.
SERVO[as Sally]: Well, this conversation's going nowhere. I'll go talk down
Tails.
>
> "Clear out everyone!" shouted Bunnie as Dulcy began her landing
lessons.
MIKE: Ah, it's the "Landings and You" seminar.
> Dulcy suddenly took to air.
> "This is great! I can actually feel a perfect landing coming up."
> Dulcy smiled.
CROW: She says that every time.
> Bunnie had her fingers crossed. "Good luck, sugar-dragon!"
MIKE: Bunnie's so sweet. Get it? Huh?
SERVO: Funny, Mike.
> Dulcy circled over the meadow a few times before she went in to land.
> When she did, it wasn't very pretty. She ended up falling on her stomach and
CROW: Dying.
> scraping her chin on the ground. Bunnie ran over to her.
> "Are you all right, Dulcy?" she panted.
> "OOOOOoooooh....thanks ma.......I'm fine........" she warbled.
MIKE: Well, it's obvious where the brains went in *her* family.
> "Wanna try it again?" Bunnie asked.
> Dulcy cleared her head by shaking it side-to-side. "No...I think I'll
> work on it later. It's starting to hurt!"
SERVO[as Dulcy]: After an experiment I conducted 1,000 times, I have concluded
that lit sticks
of dynamite hurt.
>
> Nina sat by the lake with her friends. Tails came up to her and sat
> next to her.
> "Hi." he said.
> Nina's friends got up and left,
SERVO: They're so supourtive.
> sensing that they wanted to talk privately.
> "Hi Tails. I'm sorry." Nina said.
> "For what?" Tails wondered.
CROW[as Nina]: I just wasn't at my peak last night.
> "Well," the little skunk slumped, "I made you faint, and I probably
> embarrassed you in front of everyone!"
MIKE: We know fainting is embarasing beacuse whatever Antoine does is really
stupid.
> "I wasn't embarrassed, just shocked." Tails told her.
> "I'm glad, because I meant what I said." blushed Nina.
CROW: Thump!
MIKE[as Nina]: I was kidding! Get up! You're embarassing me!
> Tails became nervous. "Um, Nina, that's what I wanted to talk about."
> "Yes?"
> "Well, I think you're very nice and everything, but..." Tails
> suddenly began to stammer.
SERVO[as Tails]: Well...that is to say...um...I think that, you know...we
should just...uh,
aren't made for each other, and...
> "It's okay Tails, I know what you want to say." smiled Nina.
MIKE[as Nina]: I know you're not good enough for me. Bye, I have a date with
David Kintobor
in an hour.
> "You do?"
> "Yup. Don't worry, I understand. That's what all guys are like."
CROW[as Nina]: They only want to get some.
> Nina
> then proceeded to kiss Tails on the cheek. "Now, I was wondering, can you
> teach me to fly with my tail?"
SERVO: Is that a pickup line?
> Tails just fainted.
>
MIKE: He needs to see more girls.
> "C'mon Sal, I'm bored!" cried Sonic.
CROW[as Sonic]: Day care is stupid! I wanna go to work with you!
> "We're not going back to Robotropolis. Or what's left of it."
> "But Sal, I wanna go check to see if there are any others who are
> still roboticized."
SERVO[as Sonic]: And I wanna get this train wreck of a story some interesting
plot twists!
> "No. Sonic, we destroyed everything. Nothing is left there!" Sally
> exclaimed.
CROW: Geez, they really pay attention to what they're doing, huh?
> "Aw, Sal, it's just that I am so bored without ol Melonhead chasin
> my tail!" said Sonic.
> "Sonic, we've got a seminar going here.
MIKE: If only it would start!
> We can't just leave! I said
> no and that's final! Royal order!" Sally shouted at the hedgehog.
SERVO[as Sally]: Two cheesburgers with a coke, super-sized! And make it
snappy!
MIKE and CROW[singing softly]: Have it your way, have it your way...
> Sonic sighed and left the tent.
>
> "How many Swat-bots do we have totaled?" demanded Snively.
SERVO: You mean counted up or wrecked?
> "Approximately 500, sir." droned the Tech-bot.
MIKE: Ah, the newest in the deadly BOT arsenal.
> "How many Worker-bots?"
> "Eleven hundred sir."
> "Do you have any idea as onto how long it will take to build up the
> army that we once originally had?" Snively wondered.
CROW[as Tech-bot]: Three minutes, sir.
SERVO[as Snively]: Damn! Too long! We need more time!
> "Completion will probably take place this fall, sir." the bot reported.
MIKE[as 'Bot]: Just before the season primere of Friends.
> "Try to increase production. We must have as much as a chance as we
> did before."
CROW: I thought they needed numbers, not Monopoly chance cards.
> "Yes sir."
>
> Uncle Chuck had already tried out the tunneler finding that it didn't
MIKE: ...tunnel, but made a great barbecue grill.
> work. What the problem was, was that
SERVO: It misplaced commas.
> there were too many existing tunnels
> from the Doomsday pods.
CROW: And that affected it how?
> The only choice was to follow up throughout those
> already existing tunnels, and to try to find connections between villages.
MIKE: Then why didn't they just do that in the first place?
> Uncle Chuck went down into the ground with Tabitha and a couple other
SERVO: Non-descprit Mobians who're gonna be offed in a few minutes.
> Roboticized individuals, who were prized for their unique night vision.
> They proceeded down the tunnels for an hour before stopping.
CROW[as 'Bots]: We forgot our night vison gear!
> Uncle Chuck insisted that the band stop
MIKE: Because their music was loud enough to cause a cave-in.
> because her was almost sure he heard
CROW: Hey! She forgot the "r" at the end of the second "her"!
> something. He called for Tabitha to come and confirm his suspicions, since
SERVO: She was expendable.
> she had extremely sensitive hearing.
> "I think I do hear something, Sir Charles. It's very muffled though."
SERVO[muffled]: I'm not dead! Let me out! [pounding]
> "Good girl, Tabby.
MIKE: You puss.
CROW: MIKE!
> Now do you think you could make it out if we got
> closer?" wondered Uncle Chuck.
> "I don't know. I'm pretty sure it's nothing though."
SERVO[as Tabitha]: It's just the faint little cry of a trapped Mobian. Don't
worry.
> "You're probably right. We're probably very near to the hot springs."
> sighed Uncle Chuck.
MIKE[as Chuck]: 'Cuz I'm wondering why my arms are melting.
> "Let's go to the left, Sir Charles." said a raccoon.
> "Lead on, Alvin."
CROW: That's funny, 'cuz they were called a band a minute ago, and Alvin's one
of the chipmunks.
MIKE: Thank you, Crow.
>
> Little did the Freedom Fighters know, the sound that Uncle Chuck had
> heard was the working of bots, trying to build up a wall from the main
> tunnel
> at Robotropolis, therefore making it impossible for anyone to crawl through
> and sabotage.
SERVO: Not another attack on Robotnik's secondary power factory!
>
> Later that day, Uncle Chuck's squad made it to the surface. They had
> found that they had emerged in the meadow near Knothole.
> "We did it!" smiled Uncle Chuck.
MIKE: Big acomplishment. Walk through a tunnel. Big whoop.
> They then started making their way back through the tunnels placing
> more markers and light systems to show where they had been.
CROW: Why didn't they just do that instead of using their night vision?
> The group made it back to the seminar by nightfall.
>
> "Well, did you guys make it?" Sally asked anxiously.
> "Yep! We marked the tunnels and lighted them too." replied Tabitha.
> "Alright! Good job you guys!"
MIKE[as Sally]: You all recieve your "Tunnel Marking and Lighting" badge!
> "Now what, Sally?" asked Uncle Chuck.
> "Well, we start sending supplies and build up our forces.
CROW: Even though they already did in the episode "Cry of the Wolf".
> I'm sure
> Dulcy will be glad to hear this. Now we don't need her to fly the supplies
> in!" said Sally.
> "Well, I guess we'd better get to bed. We have to pack up and go home
> tomorrow."
SERVO: I guess the seminars were cancelled.
> "See ya tomorrow." said Tabitha.
> "G'night."
>
> Back at Knothole, Sonic was helping Sally unpack.
> "Sal?"
> "What?" asked Sally.
CROW[as Sonic]: You've got a piece of lettuce stuck in your teeth.
> "What...what if Robotnik isn't gone?...What if he...
MIKE[as Sonic]: Created an artificial clone that was the one that got killed
and the real him
is in hiding in the most overused plot contrivance ever?
> he made an identical robot of himself to fool us..." Sonic stammered.
SERVO: Sonic is Woody Allen.
> "Sonic! That's absurd!" Sally exclaimed.
CROW[as Sally]: You should know it happens only 4 out of 5 times a major enemy
is killed!
> "Yeah, I guess...but you never know..." replied Sonic.
> "We destroyed him!" Sally informed him.
> "Oh yeah? Then why wasn't Snively with him?" Sonic shot
MIKE: Sally.
'BOTS: Yaaaaay!
> .
> "He must have been in the Death Egg when we destroyed it.
CROW: But there was no Death Egg in ths continuity!
MIKE: I think the whole universe is imploding and filling up with the comic,
syndicated and
video game universes!
> Either
> that, or he was in the ship, we just didn't see him. Either way, he's gone,
> and so is ChromeDome himself!"
> "Maybe you're right." Sonic caved in.
SERVO: I *knew* there wasn't anything inside his skull!
> Just then, Tails walked in, holding Nina's hand.
ALL: Ooooooh!!!
> "Well hello Tails, hi Nina." Sally said in a pleasant voice.
> "Hi Aunt Sally! Hi Sonic!" said Tails with a smile.
> "Hi Princess Sally, hello Sonic." piped in Nina.
MIKE: Yes, the breathtaking "Hello" scene!
> "Hey Tails, what's up?" asked the blue hedgehog.
CROW[as Tails]: Sonic, what does "first base" mean?
> "Um, well, I just wanted to ask if I can take Nina with me to our
> Secret Place." Tails asked.
SERVO[as Tails]: Nina and I are going to the big place.
> "Our Secret Place?! That's only for the two of us!" exclaimed Sonic.
> "I didn't mean ours Sonic," Tails smiled, "I meant ours." he said,
> motioning to Nina.
> Sonic and Sally exchanged surprised glances.
MIKE: Why would he ask permission to go to his own personal spot?
> Sally broke out of her confusion to ask, "Is it in the Great Forest?"
> "Yes, Aunt Sally. It is."
> "Okay. You can go." Sally smiled.
> "C'mon Nina!" barked Tails.
SERVO: Next he'll start eating Pedigree Dog Food.
> "Okay! Bye Sonic! Goodbye Princess Sally!" said Nina, as Tails
> grabbed her hand and led her out of the room.
CROW[as Tails]: C'mon! Let's go play with my box of Mobians!
> As soon as they were out of hearing distance, Sonic spoke up.
> "Looks like Tails is hooked too!"
MIKE: LSD! Sega of America will be ticked!
> "Too?" said Sally suspiciously.
> "Yeah!" Sonic smiled.
> "Well, Sonic Hedgehog," said Sally, "I think we better go unpack
> Tails things while he's gone."
SERVO: I did *not* want to hear that!
> "You're right. Let's go." Sonic replied.
> As they walked out, Sonic put his arm around Sally.
>
> "How were your seminars, Rotor?" asked Bunnie.
CROW[as Rotor]: Well, AA went okay, but then they all called me a
self-centered bastard.
> "Good! I learned some new things on androids. I'll need 'em since
> that mess up on Ro-Becca." he smiled.
MIKE[as Rotor]: Let's make references to the stupidest episodes of the SatAM
series.
> "Are you feeling any better, sugar?" Bunnie asked with sincerity
> "Yeah. Sally really woke me up."
SERVO[as Rotor]: Cuz I fell asleep halfway through the "Self-Help" seminar...
> "Well, I'm glad you're all right." Bunnie paused, "Wanna come over to
> my place for some tea?"
> "Well...sure...I guess."
> "Oh good! I've been wantin' to try out Antoine's cookbook. It's got a
> whole section devoted to teas! C'mon, sugar."
MIKE: Antoine made a cookbook? He really *is* in touch with his feminine
side!
CROW: Yeah. He went to a seminar on it!
> Rotor got up and followed Bunnie to her hut, where she then put on a
> kettle of water.
SERVO[as Bunnie]: This is my Holloween costume. Cool, huh?
> When the tea was ready, Bunnie and Rotor sat down and had a long
> serious chat about their childhoods, and how badly they missed their
> families. It was late when they finally finished.
> "Thanks for the talk, Rotor. I've been wanting to get the same things
> off of my lil' ol' mind." Bunnie said.
CROW[as Rotor]: Gee, Bunnie, you can pin me down anytime.
MIKE: Bad placement, Crow.
CROW: But I was aching to get it out!
> "Anytime...well, goodnight, Bunnie." said Rotor
> "Goodnight, sugar."
>
ALL[as they leave]: Hey-ah, hey-ah, hey-ah, brown sugar! How come you taste
so good?
>
> THE END! ;)
1...2...3...4...5...6...
[SOL int.] Mike, Servo and Gypsy are standing before a podium on the counter,
where Crow is
reading a statement.
CROW: And, as you are all aware, this seminar will determine if you have the
necessary skills
needed to watch bad fanficions and e-mail spams, lemons, and
self-insertions...blah, blah, blah...
[Mike pases a note to Servo]
MIKE[whispering]: Servo, pass this on to Gypsy will you?
SERVO[whispering]: I can't my arms don't work.
GYPSY[whispering]: And I can't read right now.
CROW: Mr. Nelson, are you paying attention?
MIKE: Um, yes?
CROW: Then can you tell me what I just said?
MIKE: "Mr. Nelson, were you paying attention?"
CROW: No, before that!
MIKE: Um...well, you were saying how much Pauly Shore relates to the Clinton
Scandal and that
Jim Carrey should not be impeached.
CROW: That's right. Anyway, blah, blah, blah...
MIKE[whispering]: Yes! Score! [attemps to hi-five Servo]
SERVO[whispering]: My arms, remember?
MIKE[whispering]: Right.
-Mads' sign-
[Castle Forrester] Observer is beating the organ in with a sledgehammer. Bobo
comes in center
eating a pan of Pizza Rolls.
BOBO[between chews]: Oh, hi Mike. Brainy over there isn't taking his organ
lessons lying down,
let me tell you. Anyway, Lawgiver went out for some tampons and left me in
charge of ending the
experinemt, but I forgot how, so you'll have to keep watching the fanfic until
she gets back.
Goodbye!
[SOL] -movie sign-
MAGIC VOICE: Incoming fanfic: Enterprized II.
ALL: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
[all scamper to the right]
[6...5...4...3...2... door 1 opens to reveal the closing credits]
[love theme]
written by: Jim Whaley
origonal fanfic written by: Holly-B Kraft
featuring:
Mike Nelson: Michael J. Nelson
Crow: Bill Corbett
Tom Servo: Kevin Murphy
Gypsy: Patrick Brantseg
Magic Voice: Beez McKeever
also featuring:
Pearl Forrester: Mary Jo Pehl
Observer: Bill Corbett
Professor Bobo: Kevin Murphy
with:
human Crow: Bill Corbett
human Servo: Kevin Murphy
All MST3K characters and situations are trademarks of Best Brains, Inc.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment purposes only;
no infringement
on the original copyrights or trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended
or should be
inferred.
No insults are intended to anyone refered to in this MiSTing.
"The Seminar" author Holly-B Kraft could not be contacted for permission
purposes.
MST3K created by: Joel Hodgson
special thanks to:
Best Brains, Inc.
All you people who love to laugh
e-mail tj...@aol.com for comments, etc.
c1998 by Jim Whaley
[stinger]
> "Well, Sonic Hedgehog," said Sally, "I think we better go unpack
> Tails things while he's gone."
This has been a Mystery Usenet Theater 3000 production
-----------------
other episodes of Science Fiction Theater 1,000,000,000:
101: The Cartoons Combined
102: Off-Road Brawl
103: The Odyssey
104: The New Season
201: Total Turbulence
202: The Ultimate Celebrity Deathmatch
203: Are You Ready to Get $40,000 in 6 Weeks with Only 8 Bucks???!!
204: Sonic Fights Robotnik 6: The Final Battle!
205: The Seminar
All can be found easily on Web Site Number Nine,
located at http://pinky.wtower.com/mst3k !
Jim, that Mistie
"This is where the fish lives."
"I KNOW!"
"I'm cahmeeng!"
"Well, we're safe for now, thank goodness we're in a bowling alley."
-Pleasantville mayor