MiSTed: All My Children episode [3/4]

[Christine Malcom]

From=20c...@midway.uchicago.edu Wed Feb 5 16:14:36 1997
Date: Wed, 5 Feb 1997 13:31:29 -0600
From: Christine Malcom <cm...@midway.uchicago.edu>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps.abc
Subject: AMC: MiSTED 1/14/97 episode [3/4} (long)

D: The doctors...uh...do feel safe that Maria will carry to term. I
can't speak for=20
her, but I think she's determined.

Tom: To the 15 yard line, the 10, the 5... TOUCHDOWN!
Crow: Eww... I told her not to do the victory spike.
Mike: Crow, show some class. She's been through --
Crow: Hey, when Maria's been bed-ridden with toxemia and has a
weeklong dream=20
sequence starring everyone she's ever slept with, *then*
you can come to me for sympathy.

M: (smiles) That's our Maria. She'll probably deliver the baby herself. =
=20

Tom: Nah, she'll just let the Peggy handle it.

D: Mateo, Maria needs her family. Block out some
time..don't...uh...don't forget.
M: Never. Is there something I don't know? =20

Crow: Britannica Volumes A through Z springs to mind.

S: (breaks in) Mateo. May I cut in.=20

Mike: (As Mateo) No, he's *mine*, you bitch, *MINE*!
Tom: It=D5s good to see you accepting this, Mike
Crow: But do you really think he=D5ll cheat on the blonde *and* hi=
s
mate?=20
Mike: It was a joke. =20

M: Yeah. Sure. Absolutely. Thanks for the update.
D: Thanks for the drinks.
S: Have you seen Edmund?
D: I assume...well, I suggest that you get a new hobby.
S: We're colleagues. Edmund's been out of the office all day. He
didn't leave a=20
forwarding number.
D: Maybe Edmund doesn't want to be found.
S: It's crunch time at Tempo.

Tom: Cheetohs for everyone!
Crow and Mike: Hooray!

D: Right now, Tempo means about this much (demonstrates with fingers) to
him.
S: What's more important than a deadline?
D: Leave my brother alone, Skye.=20

Matt and Hayley's
H: Can I ask you a question? Just out of curiosity, what's in this?
What's this=20
called?=20
T: It's called Dingo Punch.
H: Dingo punch (laughs). I thought it smelled a little bit like dog's
breath!

Mike: (As Tanner) Wull, you wuh oit of Tang.

T: Well, you know it's so bad, it kinda knocks you out (Hayley laughs).
What time do you start work tomorrow?
H: Mateo called an early morning meeting: 8 AM, sharp!
T: You're not gonna get much sleep.

Crow: Screen this episode. You'll drop off in no time.

H: It's funny how talking about yourself gives you a second wind. I
thought I'd wait=20
up for my hubby.

Mike: Um... to break out of jail or rise from the grave?
Crow: That kind of stuff happens on this show? Cool!

T: Man, that reminds me. He's probably got the customers mixing their own
drinks. I'm=20
out of here.=20

Tom: That might be for the best.
Crow: (As Mateo) Duuuh, what's in a scotch and water?

H: (the phone rings) Hola!
M: Oh no, I didn't wake you, did I?
H: No, I was awake.
M: Is Tanner on his way back?=20
H: He's just on his way out the door. =20

Crow: With his pants ^Qround his ankles.

M: No no...stop him. I've got a room full of beer drinkers. No
mixologists needed. =20
Tell him I'll fold the tents.=20

Mike: Make sure you do it right after they come out of the
dryer, or they'll=20
get all wrinklky.

H: Oh, fabulous. I love you, Matt mmmmixmeister! Bye (hangs up). Well,
Mateo says to=20
take a load off, he's handling things.=20
T: He doesn't want a co-pilot?

Tom: He's a Santos. God is his co-pilot.

H: He said it's a breeze.
T: Well, ok, what do you think? You own the place.
H: I think I could use some hot chocolate and chit chat while I wait for
my man!=20

Crow: (As Tink) ^QCause I'm just a *girl*. Teeheehee!

T: Did I tell you have a secret recipe for hot chocolate?

Tom: One pack Swiss Miss, one cup hot water, stir.

H: You know, Tanner, nothing about you surprises me.
(Tanner exits to kitchen, stopping briefly to look back at her)

Mike: I wish he'd look at *me* that way!
Tom: Blast it, Nelson!

Holidays
My: You think I'm crying into my hot toddy? Well! That's all you know!=
=20
Mi: Ok, why don't you enlighten me?=20

Crow: Because there isn't enough time in the world.

My: Red was exhausted when he came to Pine Valley. You know, mankind was
not doing its=20
job. We're all capable of bringing a bit of joy to other people from
time to time, but=20
we laze around until Christmas and then Santa has to do our work for us.
So, I've been=20
sliding down a few chimneys myself lately (Brad and Mike exchange
significant looks). =20

Tom: Don't go there, boys.

My: Stuart took me to the children's ward at the AIDS hospice. My...the
rainbows on=20
the wall and laughter everywhere. I've never seen so much...hope.
Mi: I didn't know.
My: Oh, I know I moped a bit when Red went, and then I decided to get off
my duff and=20
try to follow his message. You know... try to create a few little
miracles here and=20
there..but now...right now.=20

Mike: Here's a miracle for you, Myrt. A character over 60 with
*two*=20
storylines a decade.
Tom: Angela Lansbury!
Crow: Grrrrrr!

B: Sounds like pressure. I wouldn't want to temp for Santa.=20

Mike: (As gum-cracking Trixie-type) Yeah, ^Qcause I hear he's
all hands.

My: Brad, you're a doctor, you make miracles all the time. And Michael,
look what=20
you've done for Laura. =20
Mi: Laura works hard.

Tom: (As TV announcer) So you won't have to!

My: Sometimes miracles are as simple as meeting someone special. =20
Mi: (glances at Brad) Ok, point well taken.
My: Well, Michael. I'm...I'll hate to lose you.
Mi: Lose me? What are you talking about? =20
My: Well, you know...people don't stay long at my nest...greener
pastures.
Mi: Yeah, but the boarding house is my home.
My: For now (Brad leans close to Michael)

Crow: Geez, Brad actually has to physically hold Michael up.
That's way=20
beyond the call for a recurring character.
Tom: He must be really drunk.
Mike: Or insecure.

M: Last call! =20
B: Oh, yeah we're cutting Myrtle off!=20
(Myrtle laughs and slaps his hand)
Mi: All right, give me the check! And not for nothing, you're a pretty
good=20
proprieter. Where's Miss Hayley? =20

Mike: (As Mateo) Lyin' about in her Pjs with me mate.
Crow and Tom: (Sing) My best friend's girrrrrlfriend...
My best friend's girrrrrrlfriend....

Hayley and Mateo=D5s=20
T: You know, Mateo=D5s more out there these days. I like it (hands her
the mug)
H: Mmm...chocolate...thank you. Yeah he even came to an open AA meeting
with me for friends and family members. He spoke at it. I was so proud
of him.=20

Tom: And that sad, closeted little man with the eyeliner who
keeps treating her like she's two is....which?
Mike: Well, he's her fiance. Her family's kinda dysfunctional
He's been good for...er...oh...you didn't really wanna know, did=20
you?
Tom: Rhetoric, Nelson.=20

T: SO you guys follow the 12 steps?

Crow: Tanner, buddy, think about it. What are the odds of=20
either of them counting to twelve without removing shoes?=20

H: They=D5re not so much rules as they are sign posts. You know, like las=
t
week, we looked at the 11th step which is improving your conscious contact
with a higher being. =20
T: Which means?

Tom: (stoner Hayley) I don't drink, I wake and bake, man!@=20

H: Well, I took it to mean that we should find new challanges and meet
them.
T: Right, so you don=D5t get out of bed unless the hills steep enough,
right?=20

Mike: Bed on a hill? That could be dangerous. Don't forget to
curb your casters and use the parking brake
Tom: Something tells me that's *one* bed that isn't prone=20
to sudden, enthusiastic movement.=20
Mike: You guys are pathetic.

H: (laughs) SO what are your new challanges.
T: What are yours? =20
H: Holidays!
=20
Crow: I know what she means. Groundhog's day is always=20
rough.=20
Tom: yeah, AA meetings are jammed in February.=20

T: Holidays, come on, Hayley, it=D5s a hit, what else?
H: Mmmm...learning how to overcome my fear of flying.

Tom: Damn you, Erica Jong?=20
Mike: And how do *you* know about Erica Jong, Mr. Servo?=20
Tom: Er...Gypsy told me. =20

T: How long have you been afflicted?
H: Ever since we took that little stunt flight from San Antonio.=20
T: Really? That wasn't a stunt flight! We were just kind of floating.
You've gotta trust the air, Hayley.

Tom: (as Hayley) Oh yeah? And what has the air every done for=20
me?=20
Crow: I'm guessing it maintains the shape of your HEAD!=20
=20
H: (laughs) The air nearly spit us up, Tanner! I don=D5t like taking
risks like that!=20

Tom: Can ether vomit?
Crow: You're *right* Mike, this show really takes issues by=20
the horns.=20

T: Really? Then you should take control, Hayley, you=D5ve should jump in
the cockpit.
=20
Crow: wockachickawockachickawockachicka!
Tom: Oh, I don't *think* so.
=20
H: Oh...I don=D5t *think* so.=20

Tom: Oh....God...kill me.=20
Mike: See, Tom? You're really into it! I *knew* you guys
would love this. =20

T: Why not? C=D5mon. You pay for the rent of the plane and I=D5ll give y=
ou
the lessons for nothing, for free. =20
H: I=D5ll think about it. =20
T: No no, you don=D5t think, you just do it.

Crow: (as announcer) The Nike way!=20

H: (phone rings) Hola! (Tanner laughs) yeah, uh yeah, hold on. (Hands
phone to Tanner) It=D5s for you.
T: Oh. Is it Mateo?=20
H: No, not this time. (exits).
T: Hello? Hey, man. Look. Plans have changed. You can=D5t call me here=
=2E
I=D5ll call you, all right? Listen, Texas is big, and it=D5s empty. This

Tom: It has the right to secede in its constitution.=20
Capital is Austin. Chief imports...
Mike: Shhhhh! I'm trying to listen!=20

place, this place is the land of opportunity, my friend. Trust me.

Christine "Couscous" Malcom-Dept. of Anthropology (cm...@kimbark.uchicago.ed=
u)
Indestructible Gouda Llama Woman wonders if she just ought to have posted
a pointer to this=20
___________________________________________________________________________=
_
"Let the wild Rumpus start!" - Maurice Sendak