REPOST: MiSTied: The Shamanism FAQ
FLGator
DR. FORRESTER: Greetings, Sanford and Son... and... son. Today's burnt
offering is a flat, dry, dense thicket of New Age mumbo-jumbo originally
posted to alt.religion.mysticism. It's called 'The Shamanism
Overview/FAQ.' Who knows, it may end up elevating you to a higher plane...
then it will make you want to jump out of it without a parachute. Hasta la
vista, Mikey. (hits button)
ALL: Newsgroup sign!!!
(6....5....4....3....2....1)
In article <deaneDF...@netcom.com>, de...@netcom.com (Dean Edwards) wrote:
> Archive-name: shamanism/overview
> Last-modified: 30 Aug 1995
> Version: 1.6
MIKE: This version was a bug fix. Version 1.5 used to cause peoples'
brains to freeze up.
> NOTE: The following general overview of shamanism is not intended to
> be the last word or the definitive work on this subject. Rather it is
CROW: ...the wild speculation of someone with far too much time on his hands.
> , as
> its title implies, intended to provide the participant or reader with a set
> of guidelines that will familiarize them with the general use of the terms
> shamanism, shaman and shamanic
TOM: As well as the term sham.
CROW: Not to mention chamois, shabbat, shabbadoo, Scooby-Doo and Subaru.
TOM: Does a shaman wash his hair with shamanpoo?
CROW (effeminate voice): I've just spent three days in a sweat lodge and I
can't do a thing with this hair!
MIKE: Knock it off, you two. You should be ashamaned of yourselves!
BOTS: Eeewwww!
TOM: That was beneath even your standards, Nelson.
MIKE: Oh yeah, Mr. 'Shamanpoo'?
TOM: Point taken.
> in the trends, study and practice of
> historic, traditional and contemporary shamanic experience.
> The word 'shaman' comes to English from the Tungus language
> via Russian. Among the Tungus of Siberia
CROW: When in Siberia, never touch your Tungus to a flagpole.
> it is both a noun and a
> verb.
MIKE: And all this time I thought 'it' was a pronoun.
CROW: That's what you get for going to public school.
> While the Tungus have no word for shamanism
TOM: Mike?
MIKE: Yes, Tom?
TOM: Didn't the author say just a few lines ago that the word shaman comes
from the Tungus language?
MIKE: Yes, he did.
TOM: But now he says the Tungus have no word for shamanism.
CROW: It's gonna be a long, hard, dusty ride.
> , it has
> come into usage by anthropologists, historians of religion and
> others in contemporary society to designate the experience and the
> practices of the shaman. Its usage has grown to include similar
> experiences and practices in cultures outside of the original
> Siberian cultures from which the term shaman originated. Thus
> shamanism is not the name of a religion or group of religions.
> Particular attention should be paid to the use of qualifying words
> such as 'may' or 'usually'. They indicate
TOM: ...that we really have no idea what we're talking about.
> examples or tendencies and
> are not, in any way, intended to represent rigid standards
> Please send comments to de...@netcom.com (Dean Edwards).
>
> Shamanism-General Overview-Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
> (c November, 1993, 1994, 1995 by Dean Edwards)
> This FAQ shall be posted monthly and is maintained by Dean Edwards
> (de...@netcom.com). It is intended for the private non-commercial use
> of Usenet users. It may not be sold or resold without the permission
> of the author.
MIKE: Darn, there goes my plan for instant wealth.
> 1. Why were the terms used in this FAQ selected and do they have special
> meanings. There is an extensive literature about shamanism that has been
> compiled since the late Eighteenth Century. Like any field of study and
> religious practice, shamanism has developed a specialized vocabulary.
> Please note that some of the words used in the material that follows are
TOM: ...to be considered 'naughty words' and are not meant for children's ears.
> drawn from scholars who have a solid background in shamanic studies
MIKE: Where do you go to major in shamanic studies?
TOM (as Sally Struthers): Do you want to find enlightenment and earn the
respect of your village by becoming a shaman? Sure, we all do!
> and
> may have meanings that are specific and less general than is often the
> case in popular usage. Consulting a good dictionary should clear up any
> points of confusion.
CROW: Something tells me it won't help.
> 2. What is Shamanism?
> Shamanism is classified by anthropologists as an archaic
> magico-religious phenomenon in which the shaman is the great master
> of ecstasy.
TOM: Master of Ecstacy Theme Song!
ALL (break into hip-hop beat of 'Master Ninja' theme song):
Boom-chicka-aah, boom-boom-chick-aaa...
> Shamanism itself, was defined by the late Mircea Eliade
> as a technique of ecstasy. A shaman may exhibit a particular magical
> specialty (such as control over fire, wind or magical flight).
TOM (sultry voice): Tonight on The Pleasure Channel's 'Techniques of
Ecstacy'... the Flying Shaman Maneuver.
> When a
> specialization is present the most common is as a healer. The
> distinguishing characteristic of shamanism is its focus on an
> ecstatic trance state in which the soul of the shaman is believed to
> leave the body and ascend to the sky (heavens) or descend into the
> earth (underworld).
MIKE: Or sometimes it just pops down to the mall for an Orange Julius.
> The shaman makes use of spirit helpers, with
> whom he or she communicates, all the while retaining control over
> his or her own consciousness. (Examples of possession occur, but
> are the exception, rather than the rule.)
TOM (sports announcer's voice): The Spirit quarterback drops back to
pass... nobody's open... He's hit! It's a fumble! The Shamans have
regained possession!
> It is also important to
> note that while most shamans in traditional societies are men,
> either women or men may and have become shamans.
>
> Post-Shamanic: While shamanism may be readily identified among
> many hunding and gathering peoples
CROW: What are hunding peoples?
> and in some traditional herding
> societies, identifying specific groups of individuals who might be
> called shamans is a difficult task in more stratified agricultural
> and manufacturing based societies.
TOM: (makes knocking on door sound) Census!
MIKE: Can I help you?
TOM: Any shamans in your household?
MIKE: Well, it's difficult to say. We're a more stratified agricultural
and manufacturing-based family.
> A society may be said to be Post-
> Shamanic when there are the presence of shamanic motifs in its
> traditional folklore or spiritual practices indicate a clear pattern
> of traditions of ascent into the heavens, descent into the nether-
> worlds, movement between this world and a parallel Otherworld, are
> present in its history. Such a society or tradition may have become
> very specialized and recombined aspects of mysticism, prophecy and
> shamanism into more specialized or more 'fully developed' practices
> and may have assigned those to highly specialized functionaries.
CROW (in Monty Python 'Pepperpot' voice): Ooooh! Can he talk? Can he talk?
MIKE: Of course I can talk. I'm the Minister for Descent Into the Netherworlds.
> When
> such practices and functionaries are present or have teplaced the
> traditional shamans found in historical or traditional shamanism the
> use of Post-shamanic is appropriate. (See Shamanism-General Overview for more
> information.)
> Dean Edwards (de...@netcom.com) (August, 1995)
CROW: Oooh! He's quoting himself! He really must be an authority.
> More specifically, a society may be said to be Post-Shamanic when
> at least 6 of the following 8 conditions have been met:
MIKE: Oh, boy, a Cosmo quiz!
> -
> a. Shamanic ecstasy is still present, but light trance techniques
> are also used to access the Otherworld.
MIKE: New Light Trance Techniques. Uses 33% less hallucinogens than
regular trance techniques.
TOM: More Ecstacy!
CROW: Less peyote!
TOM: MORE ECSTACY!
CROW: LESS PEYOTE!
MIKE: OK, OK, knock it off, you knuckleheads.
CROW: I use the Microsoft Network to access the Otherworld.
> -
> b. Agriculture and some forms of manufacturing/crafts have replaced
> hunting and gathering as the primary basis for the economic life of
> the community.
> -
> c.The society has developed a highly stratified social structure and
> very specialized occupations.
TOM: Like Sanitation Engineer.
CROW: Sewage Station Attendant.
MIKE: The guy who cleans up the monkey cage.
TOM: Bob Packwood's gal Friday.
MIKE: Eeeeww! OK, how about... Pedicurist in a leper colony.
TOM: O.J. Simpson's publicist.
MIKE: Leona Helmsley's tax attorney.
CROW: Vice-President.
MIKE: We have a winnah!
> -
> d. Religion and spiritual methodology has become more fully developed
> and can no longer be properly referred to as 'archaic'.
CROW: They are instead properly referred to as 'boring.'
> This is
> expecially important for rituals, ceremonies and ecstatic techniques
> which had traditionally been the domain of the shamans.
> -
> e. Mystical ecstasy and unitive visions have become at least as
> important
CROW: ...as the Super Bowl.
TOM (sports announcer voice): But for Don 'Shaman' Shula and his Fighting
Spirit Guides, there would be another day.
> esoteric experiences and doctrines as shamanic ecstasy,
> ascension and descent in the religious and spiritual life of the
> community.
> -
> f. The shaman is no longer the primary escort for the souls of
> the dead into their place in the next world (psychopomp).
TOM: And psychocircumstance.
MIKE: And psychobabble.
> This
> role generally either passes onto the priestcraft or clergy to
> perform through ritual, is an object of individual or group
> prayer, or is beleived to be done by gods of guardian spirits,
> angels or demons.
MIKE: I think when we die we're escorted to the next world by the spirits
of McDonald's fry cooks. 'That'll be 200 years in purgatory, please pull
ahead to the next circle of Hell.'
> -
> g. A professional clergy is present which regulates the religious life
> of the community.
CROW: And sponges shamelessly off of the poor and the old.
> -
> h. Other forms of healing, divining and counseling are present
> have replaced shamans as the primary source of such services.
> -
MIKE (as David Letterman): And the number one sign of post-shamanic
society is...
TOM: (makes drum roll sound)
MIKE: One word: Madonna!
> Post-shamanic motifs are found among many Indo-Eruopean, Asian,
> African and some native peoples of North America. The use of
> Post-Shamanic as a term makes examination of these parallel traditons
> and possible survivals of earlier shamanic traditions easier.
>
> 3. What is Shamanic Ecstasy and how does it compare with other
> forms of ecstasy?
MIKE (dreamily): It's greeeat!
> From the Greek 'ekstasis', ecstasy literally means to be placed
> outside, or to be placed. This is a state of exaltation in which a
> person stands outside of or transcends his or herself. Ecstasy may
> range from the seizure of the body by a spirit
CROW: Like Everclear?
> or the seizure of a
> person by the divine
TOM: Bette Midler.
MIKE: Oooh, I'd love to be seized by her.
, from the magical transformation or flight of
> consciousness to psychiatric remedies of distress.
>
> Three types of Ecstasy are specified in the literature on the subject:
> a. Shamanic Ecstasy
> b. Prophetic Ecstasy
> c. Mystical Ecstasy
TOM (Barry White voice): Oh, baby, how'd you like to experience shamanic
ecstacy tonight?
>
> Shamanic ecstasy is provoked by the ascension of the soul of the
> shaman into the heavens or its descent into the underworld. These
> states of ecstatic exaltation are usually achieved after great and
> strenuous training and initiation, often under distressing
> circumstances.
MIKE: Sounds like the Masons.
> The resulting contact by the shaman with the
> higher or lower regions
CROW: Hey! Hands off my lower regions!
TOM: It's OK, I'm a shaman.
CROW: Oh, well, that's all right then.
> and their inhabitants, and also with
> nature spirits enables him or her to accomplish such tasks as
> accompanying the soul of a deceased into its proper place in the
> next world, affect the well-being of the sick and to convey the
> story of their inner travels upon their return to the mundane
> awareness.
MIKE: (deep sigh)
CROW: What's wrong, Mike?
MIKE: I dunno. It's this mundane awareness.
TOM: You're just suffering from post-shamanic depression.
> The utterances of the shaman are in contrast with those of prophetic
> and mystical ecstasy. The prophet literally speaks for God, while the
> mystic reports an overwhelming divine presence. In mysticism, the
> direct knowledge or experience of the divine ultimate reality, is
> perceptible in two ways,
CROW (tough voice): My way or the highway.
emotional and intuitive. While these three
> varieties of ecstatic experience are useful for the purposes of
> analysis and discussion, it is not unusual for more than one form of
> ecstasy to be present in an individual's experience.
MIKE: You know, one time I was having sex, eating a chocolate sundae and
watching a really funny episode of 'Ren and Stimpy' all at the same time.
TOM: Really? How was it?
MIKE: Not so great.
TOM: Hmmm.
> However, it can be argued that, generally speaking, there are three
> perceptive levels of ecstasy.
CROW: 1) good, 2) really good, and 3) really really really REALLY good.
> a) The physiological response, in which the mind becomes absorbed in
> and focused on a dominant idea, the attention is withdrawn and the
> nervous system itself is in part cut off from physical sensory input. The
> body exhibits reflex inertia, involuntary nervous responses, frenzy.
TOM: (makes those shuddery gasping pleasure noises) ....yessss....
> b) Emotional perception of ecstasy refers to overwhelming feelings of awe,
> anxiety, joy, sadness, fear, astonishment, passion, etc.
CROW: My emotional perception of this post includes overwhelming feelings
of boredom, ennui, anxiety, despair, etc.
TOM: You might even say he's... shamanic-depressive! (chuckle)
MIKE: (fans the air) Oooh, open a window. That one stunk up the place.
> c) Intuitive perception communicates a direct experience and
> understanding of the transpersonal experience of expanded states of
> awareness or consciousness.
>
MIKE: Pompous, pseudo-intellectual FAQ post communicates practically
nothing with a lot of important-sounding buzzwords, leading to a
transpersonal experience of unconsciousness.
> While the physiological response is always present, the emotional response
> may or may not be significant when intuition is the principal means of
> ecstatic perception. Some have argued that beyond the intuitive state there
> is a fourth condition in which the holistic perception exceeds mental and
> emotional limitations and understanding.
CROW: But this fourth condition involves eating about six pounds of
creamed pickled herring, so nobody has actually tried it yet.
>
> The ecstatic experience of the shaman goes beyond a feeling or perception of
> the sacred, the demonic or of natural spirits. It involves the
> shaman directly and actively in transcendent realities or lower realms of
> being. These experiences may occur in either the dream state, the
> awakened state, or both.
TOM: I had an ecstatic experience in the dream state once. When I woke up
the sheets---
MIKE: DON'T even go there, Tom. I think you need some time out. (Picks Tom up)
CROW: Yeah, let's get out of here.
> Dreams, and in particular, lucid dreams, often
> play a significant role in the life of a shaman or shamanic candidate.
TOM: Vote for me! The Shamanic candidate for District 5!
CROW (fading away): Wasn't that a movie with Robert Redford?
(1....2....3....4....5....6)
TOM appears behind a podium, in a scholar's robe and miter board. CROW,
MIKE and GYPSY sit with their backs to us, wearing T-shirts, ball caps on
backwards and other teen garb. They are chatting and snickering.
TOM: (clears throat) I would like to take this opportunity... ahem...
(MIKE and CROW continue their disruption; GYPSY tries to shush them)
TOM: I SAID I would LIKE to TAKE this OPPORTUNITY...
(MIKE and CROW's horseplay gets worse; CROW tries to tickle MIKE and MIKE
starts flapping him with his cap)
TOM: Excuse me GENTLEMEN??? (The two quiet down) Thank you.
GYPSY (whispers): Behave!
TOM: I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate you on your
decision to attend Shaman U.
MIKE (whispers): Shame on me? Shame on you! (More snickering ensues)
TOM: People! PEOPLE!!! Thank you. Here at Shaman... UNIVERSITY...
(MIKE and TOM moan in disappointment.)
('Pomp and Circumstance' starts to swell up in the background; CAMBOT
slowly zooms in as TOM speaks)
TOM (starts talking like John Houseman): ...you will work HAAARD. The time
for fun is OVER. You come to me with brains full of MUSH, and I will teach
you to THINK... just not too critically.
(MIKE, CROW and GYPSY become increasingly enthralled)
TOM: You will learn to LEVITATE. You will talk to SPIRITS. You will guide
the DEAD to the AFTERLIFE. You will JOURNEY to the NETHERWORLD... and
RETURN... a SHAMAN... a Master of Ecstacy.
CROW: Woohoo! I knew there was some reason I enrolled here! (MIKE and CROW
high-five and resume acting up)
TOM (getting agitated, shaking his head): People! PEOPLE!!! Honestly, I
don't know why I stay on... Gentlemen! I'm trying to talk about ecstacy
here!
MIKE: So are we! Paaaarty!!!
CROW (To Gypsy): Hey sweet cheeks! Wanna experience some shamanic ecstacy
together?
GYPSY: Well I never! (leaves in a huff)
CROW (shouts after her): Well maybe you should!
TOM (so agitated his miter board flies off): That is IT, I have had
ENOUGH, I am OUT of here!
(TOM slowly levitates into the air; MIKE and CROW notice him and stop
dumbfounded to watch until he has risen off camera)
MIKE (long pause................. then): Kegger! Wooooo!!!
CROW: Paaaarty!!!
(CUT to commercial break; over the spinning globe we hear MIKE's fading voice:)
MIKE: Hey baby! Wanna have an out-of-body experience?
(6....5....4....3....2....1)
> 4. How does one become a shaman?
>
> Some have wondered if the experience of shamanic ecstasy or flight
> makes a person a shaman. Generally speaking, most would say no.
CROW: But it does make a person a member of the Mile High Club.
> A shaman is more than someone with an experience.
TOM (as Jimi Hendrix): Are you... experienced? Well have you ever been
experienced? Whooahooah... I have....
> First, he or she
> is a trained initiate. Usually years of enculturalization and
> training under a mentor precede becoming a functioning shaman.
TOM (woman's voice): What do you mean, he 'couldn't'?
MIKE (woman's voice): Well, let's just say he's not yet a 'functioning' shaman.
> Second, a shaman is not just an initiate who has received inner and
> outer training,
CROW: Does this 'inner and outer training' involve spanking?
> but is a master of shamanic journeying and techniques
> (shamanic ecstasy). This is not a casual acquaintance with such
> abilities, there is some degree of mastery of them. Finally, a
> shaman is a link or bridge between this world and the next. This
> is a sacred trust and a service to the community. Sometimes a
> community that a shaman serves in is rather small. In other
> instances it may be an entire nation. A lot of that depends on
> social and cultural factors.
>
> One becomes a shaman by one of three methods:
> a) Hereditary transmission;
TOM: Nocturnal transmissions;
MIKE: Tom!!!!
TOM (innocently) What?
> b) Spontaneous selection or 'call' or 'election';
CROW: Spontaneous combustion;
TOM: If elected your shaman, I plan to cut tithes by 10%!
> c) personal choice and quest. (This latter method is less frequent
> and traditionally such a shaman is considered less powerful than one
> selected by one of the two preceding methods.)
CROW (singing): Then all the other shamans/ Used to laugh and call him
names/ They never let poor Dancing Elk/ Join in all their shaman games.
> The shaman is not
> recognized as legitimate without having undergone two types of
> training:
MIKE: The Lecture and the Lab.
TOM: What about the discussion session?
> a) Ecstatic (dreams, trances, etc.)
> b) Traditional (shamanic techniques, names and functions of
> spirits, mythology and genealogy of the clan, secret language, etc.) 'The
> two-fold course of instruction, given by the spirits and the old master
> shamans is equivalent to an initiation.'
CROW: So there IS spanking involved.
> (Mircea Eliade, The Encyclopedia
> of Religion, v. 13 , p. 202; Mcmillian, N.Y., 1987.) It is also possible
> for the entire process to take place in the dream state or in ecstatic
> experience.
> Thus, there is more to becoming a shaman than a single experience.
> It requires training, perseverance and service.
TOM: The U.S. Shaman Service. We have more ecstatic experiences before 9
a.m. than most people do all day.
> 5. What is the role of personal crisis or trauma or crisis in the
> selection or development of a shaman?
CROW: A shaman... experiences... a personal trauma. Tonight... on
Emergency... 911.
MIKE: Hey, I've warned you. No more Shatner.
> A common experience of the call to shamanism is a psychic or spiritual
> crisis, which often accompanies a physical or even a medical crisis, and
> is cured by the shaman him or herself.
MIKE: You didn't REALLY have leukemia, did you?
TOM: Yes I did. I cured myself. That means I'm a shaman!
MIKE: Suuuure you are. Why don't you go with these nice men in the white
coats, they'll take you somewhere where you can rest.
TOM: No! I'm a shaman! I AM a shaman! I AAAM A SHAAAMAAANNNN....
> This is a common occurrence for
> all three types of shamanic candidates described above.
CROW: Oh, yeah, happens all the time. Got a cold? Cured! No big whoop.
> The shaman is
> often marked by eccentric behavior such as periods of melancholy,
> solitude, visions, singing in his or her sleep, etc.
MIKE: Irritability, drowsiness, nausea, picking his or her toes, eating
paint chips, mooshing his or her mashed potatoes and peas together, and a
tendency to vote Republican.
> The inability of the
> traditional remedies to cure the condition of the shamanic candidate
CROW: What are the traditional remedies to cure the shamanic condition?
MIKE: I dunno...
TOM: I think it involves leeches.
CROW: I read that if you have a shamanic condition, you shouldn't take Tylenol.
> and the eventual self cure by the new shaman is a significant episode in
> development of the shaman. The underlying significant aspect of this
> experience, when it is present, is the ability of the shaman to manage
> and resolve periods of distress.
MIKE: I've been experiencing a period of distress since this post started.
> 6. Does the presence of an active shamanic tradition necessarily mean that
> the society itself should be deemed 'shamanic'?
> No, not at all.
TOM: I didn't say that. Did I ever say that? No. It's so funny that you
think I said that. Because I didn't say that. Defensive? I'm not being
defensive. Maybe it's YOU who's being defensive. Did you ever think of
that?
> The presence of shamanism in a nation or a community does
> not mean that shamanism is central to the spiritual or religious life of
> the community or region.
MIKE: It could be the butt of jokes.
> Shamanism often exists alongside and even in
> cooperation with the religious or healing practices of the community.
>
> 7. What is meant by shamanic ecstasy and what role does it actually play
> in shamanism?
CROW: It keeps the shaman happy, so they don't have to pay him much.
> The ecstatic technique of shamanism does not involve itself in the broad
> range of ecstasy reported in the history of religion.
MIKE: We're above that.
It is specifically
> focused on the transpersonal movement of the consciousness of the
> shaman into higher or lower realms of consciousness and existence.
CROW: It sounds like the author put a bunch of new-age words into a hat
and pulled them out in a random order.
> Another aspect of shamanism is that compared to other spiritual
> traditions, it is a path that the individual walks alone.
TOM (lounge singer voice): You'll nevvv-errr... walllllk...
aaaa...looooooone!!!! Thank you, thank you, I'll be at the Sweat Lodge all
this week. Enjoy the pemmican!
While much of
> the focus of shamanic studies has been on the shamanic complexes of north
> and central Asia,
MIKE: Doctor, I sometimes have these feelings that I'm flying, and that I
can cure myself from diseases and journey to the afterlife.
TOM (Freud voice): You appear to be suffering from what we psychologists
call a 'shamanic complex.'
CROW: I once had an apartment in a shamanic complex.
MIKE: In north or central Asia?
CROW: No, in Bayonne.
MIKE: Hmmm.
> shamanism is a universal phenomenon, not confined to any
> particular region or culture.
>
> 8. What is the origin of the word 'shaman'?
> Shaman comes from the language of the Tungus of North-Central Asia. It
> came into use in English via Russian.
CROW: Have we already done the 'Tungus' jokes?
MIKE: All the ones we can do on a family newsgroup.
> 9. What are the usual roles of a shaman?
TOM: They usually play the 'wacky neighbor' type.
CROW: So Kramer is a shaman?
TOM: How else would you explain the hair?
CROW AND MIKE: Aaaaaaah.
> In contemporary, historical or traditional shamanic practice the shaman
> may at times fill the role of priest, magician, metaphysician or healer.
TOM: On his off days, he may moonlight as a manicurist, hairstylist,
florist, interior designer, Broadway composer or massage therapist.
> Personal experience is the prime determinant of the status of a shaman.
> Knowledge of other realms of being and consciousness and the cosmology of
> those regions is the basis of the shamanic perspective and power. With this
> knowledge, the shaman is able to serve as a bridge between the mundane and
> the higher and lower states.
MIKE: Like North and South Dakota?
> The shaman lives at the edge of reality as most
> people would recognize it and most commonly at the edge of society itself.
CROW (macho voice): Rebels. Loners. Outcasts. The few. The tough. The
enlightened.
> Few indeed have the stamina to adventure into these realms and endure the
> outer hardships and personal crises that have been reported by or
> observed of many shamans.
TOM: I'm surprised we had the stamina to get through this whole post.
> 10. Why was this FAQ written?
MIKE: You know, we've asked ourselves the very same question...
CROW: Over and over and over....
> This FAQ was originally written to support a new Usenet
> newsgroup, 'soc.religion.shamanism'. The purpose of this
> newsgroup is to provide a forum for discussion and exchange of ideas,
> views and information about historic, traditional, tribal and
> contemporary shamanism. This FAQ is intended to provide a useful general
> overview of what 'shamanism' actually means and what it is in practice.
> In doing so, it has focused on shamanic ecstasy as being at the heart
> of shamanic experience and practice. Many other aspects of shamanic
> experience are encountered in the journey toward that center. Likewise,
> much is also experienced in the journey out from that core experience.
>
(1....2....3....4....5....6)
MIKE: Wow, I'm sure glad we survived the journey out from that core experience.
TOM: Yeah, me too, I...
(TOM trails off as CROW enters wearing furs and horned helmet. GYPSY,
entering behind him, is draped with a white sheet with one hole cut in it
for her eye.)
MIKE: Crow, what's this?
CROW: I don't know about you, but I like the sound of this shamanic
ecstacy thing. I'm going to become a shaman. And Gypsy here's agreed to be
my spirit guide. Show 'em, Gyps.
GYPSY (ghostly wail): WhooooOOOoooo!!!
MIKE (amused): Oh, really. And how do you plan to become a shaman?
CROW: According to the post, I have to cure myself from some personal
crisis or physical trauma.
TOM: So what's wrong with you?
CROW: Well, nothing. I was hoping you could help me with that.
MIKE: You need a physical crisis?
CROW: Yeah.
MIKE: OK, how about this... (pulls off CROW's arm)
CROW: AAAH! Yeow! Geez that smarts!
MIKE: That help?
CROW: Not really. I was thinking more along the lines of...
TOM: I think he needs some more trauma.
MIKE: OK. (reaches for CROW's other arm)
CROW: No! No! No! No! (MIKE pulls it off) AAAAAAGGGGH!
TOM: Getting closer to ecstacy?
CROW: No! No ecstacy! Not ecstatic at all!
TOM: The legs. Do the legs.
MIKE: The legs? OK... (bends down behind console; CROW is yanked downwards)
CROW: YAAAAHHHH!!! (Mike's hands place CROW's legs up on the console)
TOM: I'ts OK, Crow! Separate your consciousness from your body! Fly and be free!
(CROW's cries of distress continue as MIKE puts CROW's headpiece, followed
by more pieces of CROW, on the console; finally they are silenced as MIKE
removes his beak. Then MIKE stands up holding the last piece of CROW --
his eyepiece -- which he places next to the rest.)
MIKE: OK, Tom, let's just leave him alone here so he can meditate on his
new state.
TOM: All right. Hey, I think Crow's got some NutterButters hidden in his
locker. Let's go get 'em.
MIKE (fading away as they walk off): Sounds great! I'll get the milk.
(CAMBOT zooms in on CROW's eyepiece; the eyes look back and forth, then
up, as the bedsheeted GYPSY leans over him.)
GYPSY: WhoooooOOOOooooo.....
CUT to DR. FORRESTER, staring dumbfoundedly at the camera. Absently he
gropes for the button...
*WHOOSH*
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Another Thoughtful Posting Lovingly Crafted By SteveO.
"The universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we CAN suppose." ‹ John Burton Sanderson Haldane
"This is truly a disturbing universe." ‹ Maggie Simpson