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[MSTing] 'Lines As Q Part 2' (Pt. 2 of 2) [ST:TNG][PG]

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Megane 6.7

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Jun 2, 2001, 4:52:20 AM6/2/01

*TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS*
(And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain)

(The future isn't what it used to be....)

"MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7" (SEASON FOUR)

EPISODE 31: LINES-AS-Q PART 2 (PT. 2)

(A Star Trek: The Next Generation MSTing)

MSTed From the Desk of Megane 6.7

This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment
purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or
trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.

Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, etc. are
the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc. Just covering
my own ass here folks....

"Star Trek: The Next Generation" is the property of Gene Roddenberry,
and all the distributors of his work.

"Lines-As-Q Part 2" is the property of David Hines and he's welcome to it.
I do not intend to offend him for making fun of his work like this but I figure
it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think of this as another form
of C&C. It's all meant in good fun. ;)

(This MSTing rated PG-13 for language and some mature content.)

* * *

(Door 6: It's a metal door with no knob. Before you can do anything, it's
yanked off its hinges from the other side by a tow truck.)

(Door 5: It's an old fashioned elevator. Both sets of doors open for you as you
pass through.)

(Door 4: It's made of dominoes. You tip the lead one over and watch as
the pile slowly lowers until it's half its original size and you step over it.)

(Door 3: It's filled with cute stuffed toys. You cuddle them for awhile
before proceeding.)

(Door 2. It's solid black marble. An Akahn floats from behind you and
touches the door. The door vanishes.)

(Door 1: It's a castle gate that rises into the ceiling, revealing a drawbridge
that slowly lowers to the ground. You cross it cautiously, looking for moat
monsters.)

(Door .7: It's a swirling blue vortex. Suddenly a large hand reaches out of its
center and pulls you inside.)

Joel emerged from the vortex into the theater with Tom in his
arms, Crow emerging a moment later and following close behind.
Stepping over the air grate that prevented Tom from entering the theater
on his own, Joel placed him down on one of the theater seats and sat next
to him, Crow sitting on his right.

>Chapter Twelve:

Tom: <singing> On the twelfth day of Christmas, Steve Ratliff gave to
us... Twelve Snotty Space Kids!

Crow: <singing> Eleven Ship Descriptions!

Joel: <singing> Ten Prancing Horses!

Crow: <singing> Nine Emasculated Husbands!

Tom: <singing> Eight Imprisoned Naklabs!

Joel: <singing> Seven Bootlicking Sutters!

Tom: <singing> Six Irate Cardassians!

All: <singing> FFFFFFIVE... PPPPPPLOT... CONTRIVANCES!!!

Crow: <singing> Four Bald Captains!

Tom: <singing> Three Glasses of Strawberry Juice!

Joel: <singing> Two Much to Bear!

All: <singing> AND A SMUG, FEMALE MARYYYY... SUE!!!

Tom: Whew, fun....

Joel: Uh, you DO realize *this* story wasn't written by Ratliff, right?

Crow: Sure, but why let that ruin a good joke?

>"Captain on the bridge!"

Tom: She's going to jump!

Crow: Good.

Joel: <Marrissa> Aww, can I have a bo'sun's whistle next time?

>Marrissa entered her bridge, and saw Jay move to the first officer
>seat, and state,

Joel: <Jay> Ahh!

Tom: The first officer has his own state?

Crow: Yeah, it's called "shock".

>"You have the conn, Captain."

Joel: <Marrissa> I know! It's such a beautiful trumpet too! Mr. B Natural
gave it to me, you know.

>"Thank you, Commander. Report!"

>Ross checked his station, and reported,

Tom: <Ross> We have it tuned to 98.5 FM, sir.

Joel: All muzak?

Tom: All the time.

>"The first Trakce ship, the Gilkarn has spiralled down into the Nexus.
>A second one is approaching... and firing, Captain!"

>"Return fire! Anything else?"

All: <giggles>

Tom: <Jay> Um, well, not really. Other than the fact we're under attack
by a hostile enemy right now, it's been a pretty uneventful day....

>"Aft shield generators are still offline.

Crow: <Marrissa> What?!? Okay, that's it! Tell those morons in Damage
Control if I don't have those aft shields back on-line in *three* minutes, I'm
going to personally order the entire crew to watch me ROLL NAKED in
STRAWBERRY JELLO and everyone will know WHO is to blame!

Tom: <Damage Control> GAHHHHH!!! Okay! Okay! We're fixing it! S-Stop
pointing those phaser rifles at us!

>We are keeping our front to the second ship." Jay completed.

Tom: <Marrissa> Are we shaking our goodies at the second ship too?

Crow: <Jay> Yes, Ensign Demi Moore is in charge of that.

>"Execute attack pattern Marrissa Zeta Theta Three Kappa!"

>"Aye, sir."

Joel: <Jay> Wait a minute, attack pattern WHAT?

Crow: So Starfleet hires college cheerleaders to name their tactical maneuvers?

>"Incoming phaser fire!"

Joel: <Smokey> Only YOU can prevent phaser fire....

>The ship shuddered.

Tom: <ship> I can't take these whiny brats anymore! I'm telling you, the
first Doomsday Machine I come across, I'm throwing myself into it's gaping
maw and laughing all the way to hell!

>"Direct hit on their primary hull!"

>"Sutter here! We're venting some plasma! Don't go to warp for a few
>seconds until I can lock it down!"

Joel: <Sutter> And don't... *chortle*... don't answer your communicator the
next time it beeps or you'll be electrocuted... *giggle, chortle*....

Tom: <Marrissa> Oh, grow up, Sutter!

>"Captain!", Ross shouted. "The Gilkarn has reappeared on our
>sensors, directly aft! There's no way we can protect our unshielded area!"

Tom: <Marrissa> Darn! I knew we should have stocked up on Kotex!

Crow: <Marrissa> Last chance, Damage Control! The aft shields go up
or it's time for J-E-L-L-O!

>"Captain, the second ship is launching torpedoes!"

Joel: <Marrissa> Oh, poopy.

>"So is the Gilkarn!", Ross added.

Joel: <Marrissa> Oh, double poopy.

>"Can we use the tractor beam to repulse one of the torpedoes?"

>"No, it's offline.", Ross responded.

Crow: <Marrissa> FUCK! Even in the future, nothing works!

Tom: <Marrissa> Well, re-connect to the server then! Sheesh, people,
do I have to think of EVERYTHING!?

>Marrissa knew she only had one option left. She opened the intercom.

Tom: <Marrissa as Norma Desmond> I'm ready for my pudding, Mr. Cosby....

>"All hands! Brace for impact!"

Joel: The rest of the body! Suffer!

>The world went white around her.

Crow: <singing> The world is black, the world is white!

Tom: <Marrissa> Oh no, it's a stroking beam! Oscar warned me about these!

>Chapter Thirteen:

>Marrissa was surrounded by white, as far as the eye could see.

Joel: <Marrissa> Whoa... did I get sucked into a suburb of Seattle?

Crow: Either that or The Construct.

Tom: <Marrissa> It's an Upper Peninsula January! Whee!

>Before her, she saw a being whose face was being obscured by the
>strength of the light behind him.

Tom: Oh, it's just Alfred Hitchcock again.

Crow: <Marrissa> But where are the rest of the marionettes? We have a
march to do!

>"Well done, my good and faithful servant," said a familiar and
>sarcastic voice. Marrissa groaned inwardly as Q stepped out of the light.

Crow: <Q> And if it makes you feel any better, I would have left David
behind from the start.

Joel: <David, distant> I heard that!

Tom: Okay, we finally have Q here now where's the line?

>She recognized this same approach from an experience her father once
>told her about.

Joel: Though the use of it here is kinda pointless since Marrissa isn't dying.

Crow: No problem. Just give her five minutes on the Tonight Show.

>"Sorry, Q, but I don't particularly believe that you're God, either."

Joel: THIS coming from the original Godgirl of fanfiction....

Crow: What does Q stand for anyway? Quincy?

Tom: <Q> Sam, get another pizza pie. It'll be a LONG night.

>"Pity. Perhaps some angels would... no matter. We need to... chat."

Joel: Q sets mode to +i

Crow: <Q> n/s/a?

Tom: <Marrissa> In your dreams, Q.

Crow: <Q> More like my nightmares.

Tom: Zing!

>"Q, this is hardly the time. My ship..."

>"Your ship, your crew," Q interrupted. "Tell me something, do all
>mortals have such pedantic concerns, or just Picards?"

Crow: <Marrissa> Well... just Picards, actually. But you don't have to
rub it in!

Tom: <Marrissa> Hey, no need to throw your ten-dollar words in my face, you
no-good... uh... no-goodnik!

Joel: <Q> Whatever you say, Natasha.

>"Q!" Marrissa was rapidly losing patience.

>"Don't worry, 'Rissa.

Crow: <Jar Jar Binks> 'Rissa people gonna die?

>All time is stopped right now. You're not even
>aging. All I ask is a few moments of your time."

>"Then get on with it, Q!"

Joel: <Q> Geez, you wanted in surgery or something?

>"I told you before that the Continuum had its eye on you. Well,
>we'd like to make you an offer."

Crow: <Q> We're selling these fine leather jackets....

>"An offer?" Marrissa asked skeptically.

>"I'll be blunt. We'd like you to join the Q."

>"Me? A Q?"

Tom: <Q> HEL-LOOOO?? Q to Marrissa Picard! Are you receiving me?

Crow: <Chris Tucker> DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS THAT ARE
COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH?!?

>"Think of it, Marrissa. You're worried about your ship? Wipe out
>those two Trakce ships without so much as a thought? Wipe out the entire
>Trakce race! Romulans, Cardassians, whomever would threaten your family,
>friends and crew, all gone!

Joel: <Q> You're sadistic and young enough to train. We here in da'
Family think ya' gots some moxie, keed.

Tom: So, could someone, preferably the author, give us a *REASON* Q
is doing this?

Crow: To satisfy the Manifest Destiny of Marrissa?

>All you have to do is accept, and we'll wipe
>those two ships out and head for the Continuum."

Joel: <Q> Take the box!

Tom: <Q> No, go for what's behind Door #2!

Crow: <Q> The box! The box!

>Marrissa was tempted... for about half a second.

Joel: <Data> For a Godgirl... that is nearly an eternity.

>"No, Q. Like I said, you aren't God, and I'm not prepared to be,
>either. You like to think of yourself as omnipotent, but humanity has
>something that you don't, and I don't want to lose it. Thanks for the offer,
>but I'd rather be human."

Crow: Yeah, you and Robin Williams.

Tom: <Q> You know, I could change that. How would you like to be the first
satyr in command of a starship? Hmm?

>"Even if it meant your death, the death of your family, your crew,
>and even Essex?"

>"Yes, even then."

>"As you wish."

Crow: <Q> I'll put out a contract on those people right away.

Joel: Wouldn't it be poetic justice for Q to send Marrissa back to the
twenty-first
century, where there was no Starfleet, no Essex, and no family for her?

Tom: And have her wandering around *here*? Have you blown a gasket,
Robinson?!?

>The world again flashed around her, and if the Bridge crew of the
>Endeavour thought it a little odd that Marrissa was smiling in a life and
>death situation, they were too busy to comment.

Tom: <Jay> Shields have failed! Weapons are useless! Hull is breaching!
Life support failing! AHHHHHHHHHHH... sayyyy, Captain, that's some
BITCHIN' dental work you got there... AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

>Chapter Fourteen:

>"The second ship's torpedoes should impact in five... four...
>three..."

Crow: ...weeks. Now, who's up for a few games of Parrises Squares?

>Marrissa knew that her ship was going to be hurt. She briefly prayed
>for a miracle.

Joel: Suddenly, the warp plasma core turned into red wine and the water in Seven
Slightly Starboard turned to blood.

Tom: <Marrissa> Focus, people... focus!

>The front torpedoes impacted the shields, taking them down by fifty-
>five percent.

>"Thrusters!" Marrissa ordered. "Turn us around!"

>"Aye, sir" responded Alexander.

Tom: <Jay> Now why didn't *I* think of that? Captain, you're brilliant!

Crow: Marrissa pops her clutch and tells the Trakce to eat her dust!

>"No time, Captain!" said Jay. "Torpedoes will hit in 2...1... they
>missed us!"

>"That's odd," said Marrissa.

Tom: In THIS series? You gotta be kiddin'.

>Before she could give another order, the Gilkarn's torpedoes impacted
>the other Trakce ship. As the Trakce's shields were programmed to allow
>Trakce weapons through them, the torpedoes hit the second ship unimpeded.

Joel: <Other Trakce Ship> HEY!! Just because it's CALLED *friendly fire*
doesn't mean you're obliged to blast us!!!

Crow: <Gilkarn> Hey, we ran out of olive branches. So sue us!

>"The second ship is completely helpless, sir." Ross reported.

>"Hail the Gilkarn, Ross."

>"They are responding, Captain."

Joel: <Marrissa> Withdraw or I'll kick your butt.

Tom: <Ath> No need. Our comrades seem to be doing a bang up job of that
already.

>Instead of the scowling visage of Ath Dralnok, the screen lit up to
>show the smiling face of Dave Hines. He was wearing a plethora of
>Trakce hair ribbons.

Joel: <Dave> This one's for swimming... this one is for starting fires... this
one's for knot-tying... and this one is for gadding about like an idiot!

Crow: Pumaman would be proud.

Tom: No, *Vadinho* would be proud.

Joel: What the heck are you guys talking about?

Bots: Nothing!

>"Hey, guys! I'm the king of the Trakce! Look at all these ribbons!"

>Marrissa exasperatedly shook her head.

Joel: Hey, she's good! She must go to a lot of raves.

Crow: It's Etch-A-Sketch Marrissa! Just shake her silly and rewrite her
character to your liking!

>"You do know, Mr. Hines, that the Trakce consider that sort of thing
>to be highly sacreligious."

Joel: <David> Mmm... sacrilegious...

Crow: Where's Ned Flanders when you really need him?

>"Oh, you're just jealous, Miss I-don't-care-about-titles."

>"Mr. Hines, exactly what happened to the Trakce?"

>"I accidentally tripped on a control, and they all disappeared."

Joel: <Dave> Why they kept it on the floor, I'll never know....

>Marrissa remembered a previous encounter with the Trakce. "Ah,
>their suicide equipment."

Crow: The Trakce have a contract with Kevorkian?

>"Personally, I think they just forgot to pay their existence bill."

>Marrissa sighed. This man specialized in making no sense whatsoever.

Tom: <Dr. Colossos> Bah! He was a rank amateur compared to... Dr. Thinker!

>A beeping sound from Marrissa's chair panel attracted her attention.

Joel: <Marrissa> Can it, Artoo! I'm on the phone!

>"Mr. Lochard," Marrissa ordered. "Lock torpedoes on the Trakce vessel."

Crow: <Lochard> We can't! The chain's attached to my bike and I forgot
the combination!

>"Hey, now!" said a panicked Dave. "It was a joke! You can take a
>joke, right?"

Crow: <Marrissa> Hahahahaha... kill him.

Tom: <Marrissa> Oh... does that mean you dance with the devil in the
pale moonlight, David? Hmmm?

>Dave's eyes went wide and he started pushing buttons at random.

All: FWOOSH!

>Alexander reported, "Sir, he's turned on the tractor beam... He's snared
>an asteroid..."

Joel: <Alexander> He's firing phasers... he's split the asteroid into two
pieces... oh, this is interesting, now he's spinning the ship around like a
milk bottle and taking pot shots at the other asteroids!

Crow: <Marrissa> Oh lordy... let's just pray he doesn't find the hyperspace
button....

>Dave yelped in surprise as the Gilkarn shook beneath him. He fell to
>the floor.

>"The asteroid has hit him." Alexander finished with a bemused grin.

Tom: <Alexander> It's fun to haze the newbie!

>"Torpedo passing the Gilkarn," Ross Lochard reported, "and hitting
>the third Trakce vessel."

>Dave had picked himself up and heard this. "I knew about them." he
>insisted. "I did."

>Ross politely cleared his throat.

Joel: <Ross> *coughbullshitcough*

>"Direct hit to their computer core, Captain. They've lost everything but
>minimal impulse, tractors and life-support. They're moving to give the
>second vessel assistance."

Tom: <Marrissa> Now now, we'll have none of that! Lock phasers on
their warp engines and fire till they blow up real good!

Crow: Uh, exactly WHEN did the Endeavour get fixed?

>Jay Gordon was consulting his screen.

Joel: <Jay> I know you're out there, Ming the Merciless... You can't hide
forever....

>"Captain, the Gilkarn is also moving towards the second Trakce vessel."

>Marrissa looked up at the central viewscreen again. "Mr. Hines, what
>are you doing?"

>"You'll see..." came Dave's cryptic response.

Crow: <Dave> Now then, where are those pesky Deathblossom controls?

Tom: <Dave> My fist is the divine breath! Blossom, o' fallen seed, and call
upon thy hidden power. Grant unto thee the power of the glorious 'Mother of
Destruction'!!!

>"He's firing disruptors," Ross reported. "Scoring strength."

Joel: <Marrissa> Tell me now, Ross, and give it to me straight. Is he going for
the top shelf?

Crow: <Ross> My guess is the five-hole, actually.

>As the Endeavour's crew looked on, Dave proceeded to carve words into
>the Trakce vessel's hull. When he was done, the second Trakce vessel bore the
>inscription, "We lost to one guy in one of our ships."

Joel: And underneath, it read "Kilroy was here".

Crow: <Marrissa> Hey, that's MY trademark! Who said you could rip it off?!?

Tom: You know, with all the humiliation dealt out by Starfleet and their
flunkies,
I'm surprised the rest of the universe hasn't banded together against them
yet....

>Marrissa felt the beginnings of a migraine as a red liquid materialized in the
>second vessel's path and the vessel cruised through it. She had a sick feeling
>that the liquid was strawberry juice.

Crow: Either that or it was the ship's time of the month.

Joel: Ewww....

>Suddenly, the sound of one person clapping rang through the bridge.
>In his traditional flash, Q arrived.

Tom: <Q> I'm naked and beautiful!

Crow: <Q> Oh yes, they call me the Streak, Fastest thing on two feet!

>"Bravo." he said in a sarcastic voice. Then Q, Marrissa, and Dave all
>disappeared in a flash.

Joel: When did this turn into the Full Monty?

Crow: Hey, quit ripping off Cutey Honey!

>Jay took over. "Shayna, get some engineering and security personnel
>over to the Gilkarn. I suspect we'll get the Captain and Mr. Hines back in
>short order."

Joel: Ten years later....

Crow: <Shayna> But weren't you the one who said it was Colonel Mustard in
Ballroom with the Candlestick?

>Chapter Fifteen:

>"I would suppose congratulations are in order."

Tom: Yeah, I suppose fifteen chapters IS an accomplishment for any story.

Joel: It was labeled fifteen chapters, but the ORIGINAL material might be
about three stanzas...

>Dave was a bit dumbfounded by his new surroundings, so Marrissa
>spoke up. "You tried to trick me. If I had accepted your offer, Dave would
>have been wiped out of existence!"

Joel: <Dave> AHAHAHAHAHAHA... wiped out?

>"Oops, I forgot to erase that from your memories. Here you go." Q
>snapped his finger, and a flash appeared briefly over Marrissa's and Dave's
>heads.

Tom: Great! Now do us! Erase our memories too! Come on, I've got years
of bad movies and fanfics to unload! Throw us a bone! Awwwww....

Joel: Now playing the part of Q: Tommy Lee Jones.

Crow: Even Q can't make this story look good.

>"Now then, we'll want to make this brief. Since you're not in a
>crisis situation, time is passing."

>Dave now spoke up, "Why did you bring me to this time?"

Tom: <Q> Comic relief? Nah. Fruition? That's not it. The heights of
passion? No, that's not right either....

>"Too bad Wesley isn't available, he would help in explaining it. No
>matter. I'm sure you both have heard that Wesley is... shall we say...
>'special'."

Tom: <Q> He needs some happy pills and a special helmet so that he
doesn't injure himself.

Crow: <Wesley> Would you like to pet my llama?

>At Dave's and Marrissa's nods, Q continued. "Well, the Q have
>determined that the two of you also fit in that description."

>"How?" demanded Marrissa.

Joel: <Q> Rock, Paper, Scissors. It's not only efficient, it's fun!

>"You are just so impatient, Marrissa. Remind me not to bring your
>Christmas present too early. You'll both find out... in time."

Tom: <Dave> Oh! Time! I get it! Ha ha ha ha ha!!

Crow: <Q> Laugh now, mortal, they'll be coming to take you away soon enough....

>"Pardon me," began Dave, "but couldn't I have been special back
>home?"

>"Not for too long. Permit me to demonstrate." A vision appeared
>before Marrissa and Dave. Perhaps, more accurately, a window into hell
>appeared before them.

Tom: Been there, done that.

Crow: Got the T-shirt too.

Joel: <Dave> Wow, look at all the mushrooms!

>A single madman in power had gained control of a nuclear weapon and
>launched it.

Joel: See? You leave Tom Green unsupervised and this is what happens.

>Automatic response systems thought deactivated kicked in and launched
>a depleted, but adequate stockpile.

Crow: Had Y2K not been a crock of monkey snot....

>Tens of millions died in the initial assault. Hundreds of millions more
>died in the anarchy that followed.

Tom: And then the missiles hit. Thank you!

Joel: Geez, where were all the action heroes during this?

Crow: Those fogies? Probably taking up lawn bowling.

>Dave choked back a sob as the ruins of his home and his school appeared.

Crow: <Dave> S-School's... been blown... to p-pieces?

Tom: <starts humming dramatic music from Star Wars>

Joel: <Dave> If this scene doesn't cement my place as Star Trek's 'Luke
Skywalker', nothing will!

>The smile was gone from Q's face as even the omnipotent entity seemed
>somewhat ashen. "I did what I could." he said in the faintest of whispers.

Joel: <Q> I launched the first nukes... the rest was easy!

>A cry of rage welled up from inside Dave, and faster than Marrissa
>thought he could move he struck Q with a right cross directly on the chin.
>Surprisingly, Q allowed it and fell down.

Tom: Aww, they're both managed by Don King. He paid Q off to take that dive!

All: <chanting> RIP-OFF! RIP-OFF! RIP-OFF!

>"You..." Dave choked, "everything I knew is gone! What do I do now?!"

>Marrissa laid a hand on his shoulder. "You build something new."

Joel: <Dave> Of course! My course is now clear! I'm going to... REBUILD
DISNEYLAND!

Tom: <Dave> Well, there's that ballfield I've always dreamed of building in the
middle of the Iowa cornfields...

>Q was back up. "You mortals do seem to be good at that." He snapped
>his fingers and Dave and Marrissa were gone again.

Joel: <Q> Hey, this is kinda fun! <snap> Yeah! I'm starting to dig this
crazy beat! <snap> <snap>

Crow: And with that, Q left the Continuum to form his own Doo Wop group.

Tom: <Q> Scooby-de-bop ooh ooh we scooby-da scoo-da-boo-bee....

>Chapter Sixteen:

Crow: ...Dave's Webpage Gets A Hit.

Joel: <Dave> Woo hoo! Someone DOES care!

>Dave reappeared on the bridge of the Gilkarn as Marrissa reappeared
>on the bridge of the Endeavour. Since the two ships were still in contact
>with each other, they saw each other appear.

Tom: Whoop-de-shit.

>Martin was on the bridge of the Gilkarn and steadied Dave as he
>faltered a bit. "Are you alright?"

>"I'll be fine," Dave replied, wiping his eye and sitting in the
>Captain's chair.

Joel: <Martin> Oh, I wouldn't do that, we haven't turned off the mass
suicide machines yet and... *ZZZZZAP!* ...never mind.

>Shayna entered the bridge of the Gilkarn. "Good news! I tapped into
>the computer banks of this thing, and they've accumulated a good deal of
>data on the Nexus as well. I'm transmitting it now."

Tom: <Marrissa> Well, that's a problem, Shayna. Cause on THIS spaceship, we
obey the laws of thermodynamics!

Crow: <Shayna> D'oh!

>Back on the Endeavour's bridge, Ross responded, "Thanks, Shayna. We
>are receiving." He paused. "Captain, the computer says we have enough data
>to complete our mission with the addition of the Trakce data."

Tom: Gee, that makes what? Five plot contrivances so far?

Joel: <Marrissa> Thank you, sir! May I have another?

>Marrissa settled down in her chair. "Then it looks like we're going
>home to talk things over with Starfleet, and then coming back to stop this
>thing from hitting Essex!"

>"One problem, Marrissa," Jay said, "what do we do with the Gilkarn?"

>"We take her with us! They abandoned the ship... sort of... and that
>makes it mine under maritime law!" Dave suggested.

Tom: <Jay> Uh, Dave? See the black stuff out there with all the white
specks? That ain't the ocean, you know....

Crow: <Jay> What, causing their deaths and mocking their religion wasn't
enough for you? Yeesh....

Joel: <Dave> Aww, but I always wanted to be a pirate! Weigh anchor, me
mateys! We be settin' sail for the Seven Nebulae of the Unknown Sands.
Arrg...

>"Nice try, Dave, but the legal system no longer works that way."

>"Well, the idea of bringing her back with us is appealing." Jay said.

Joel: <Dave> Yeah, we can just say that she followed us home! Please
can we keep her? Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!

Tom: <Marrissa> I'm... sorry... Dave... but... I... can... not... do... that....

Crow: Been saving that one for awhile, Tommy?

Tom: Yep.

>"The Trakce diplomatic corps would blow their tops over that one."
>Marrissa replied.

>"And if they had diplomatic ties with the Federation, that would mean
>something." Dave rejoined.

>"They don't." confirmed Jay.

Joel: <Jay> Then again... giving the ships back may be the first step towards
PEACE between the Federation and the Trakce....

Crow: <Dave> Traitor! You stay out of this, you... you evil pacifist!

>"Then it looks like the Starfleet Engineering Corps gets a new toy
>to reverse-engineer until the diplomats sort the whole thing out." Marrissa
>remarked. "Shayna, set the transponder codes so we don't get attacked by our
>side on the way in, then set course for Earth. Endeavour out."

Tom: Never knew Starfleet had LESS morals than present-day China....

Crow: Soooo, basically any vessel of a race that doesn't have diplomatic ties
with the Federation is subject to seizure as long as the crew is dead?

Joel: Tsk tsk... shame on you, Marrissa! What would Jean Luc say?

Tom: <Jean Luc> Martini. Shaken. DRY.

>On the Gilkarn, Dave tugged his shirt down, sat in the middle chair
>and confidently said, "Engage!"

>Shayna simply looked back at him like he was a lunatic and continued
>to operate the navigational console.

Crow: You mean there's still some doubt after all this!?

Tom: <Shayna, muttering> He wants to get engaged? We just met for
pete's sake!

>Martin leaned close to Dave and whispered, "She's kind of cute, isn't
>she?"

>Dave considered for a moment and responded, "I really hadn't noticed.
>She's a little young for me."

Joel: At the age of eighteen, Dave was older than 99% of the Endeavour.

Tom: <Dave> Besides, I'm waiting for the Olsen Twins to reach the age of
legal consent.

>The sun glinted off of the Endeavour and the Gilkarn as they made
>their way home.

Crow: WHICH sun? There's about two billion stars in the Milky Way alone!

Tom: And as we bid the Endeavour and Gilkarn a fond farewell, the image of a
prancing David on the bridge, irritating every last Trakce into an early grave
will not be soon forgotten....

>[TO BE CONTINUED]

Tom: ...in a fanfic that Dr. Forrester couldn't be bothered to send us.

Joel: We can only hope.

Crow: (stands up) Well now, that wasn't too bad....

>Epilogue 1:

Tom: The Motion Conclusion.

Crow: Oops... spoke too soon! (sits back down.)

>Ensign McLees was bored.

Joel: <Ensign McLees> I left Toys-R-Us for THIS? What was I THINKING?!?

>The Endeavour had just left on a classified mission, and a civilian's runabout
>was about to depart. He hated civilian boats.

Tom: What about gravy boats?

Crow: Don't ask.

Joel: <Ensign McLees> Damn tourists! Give me a warship stuffed to the rafters
with weapons of mass destruction over these pansies anyday!

>"Docking control to Sol," he began.

>A testy voice responded, "That's S.O.L."

Joel: <Ensign McLees> Well, excuse me for L.I.V.I.N.G!

Tom: <Ensign McLees> Hey Sol, it's Morty! Shalom!

>(Writer's note: The story of the Endeavour continues in "Generations
>2: Generations Ahead" by Anne-Lise Pasch.)

Joel: <Author> Which incidentally I've also MSTed! Cool, huh?

Crow: And since *OUR* author partakes the fine art of plugging as well,
we'll refrain from further comment.

>McLees decided it wasn't worth the effort of arguing.

Tom: <McLees> I'll just rat em out to the Borg later.

>"We're seeing some peculiar energy readings from your ship."

>A different voice responded, "We... um... dropped the toaster."

>In the background, another voice hissed, "That's stupid!"

>The first voice said, "Sorry!"

Joel: <McLees> Hey, I understand... one time we had a toaster that
took out an entire starbase.

Tom: <voice> Gee, really?

Joel: <McLees> Of course not, you boob! Prepare to be boarded!

>McLees considered asking to leave early and report to sickbay for a
>migraine treatment as the runabout shimmered, and seemed to reform into a
>large cartoonish dog bone.

Tom: It's the U.S.S. Snoopy!

Crow: Nah, the U.S.S. Snoopy would look like a large cartoonish dog house.

Joel: How about the U.S.S. Odie?

>"Now departing," reported the S.O.L.

>McLees left to go find his supervisor.

Tom: <McLees> I'm going to tell him I'm Ted Bundy, maybe he'll let
me off early....

>Aboard the runabout, Dave whooped in happiness.

Crow: <Dave> Yessss! Another hit on my website! I'm more popular than Jesus!

>A reward for helping to capture a Trakce ship, as well as a contract to be
>interviewed by the Federation Historical Society went a long way.

Crow: So it was all the more tragic when Dave got bombed on Romulan Ale,
threw up all over the interviewer, and had to sell his runabout to cover his
bar tab.

Tom: <Trakce Spirit> Such is the fate of anyone who dares desecrate
our sacred hair ribbons for a lame sight gag! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

>He now owned a civilian runabout with his own special touches.

Joel: Tiki lights and pink flamingos EVERYWHERE....

>"Steady as she goes, Gypsy!" he ordered.

Joel: <Gypsy> Yeah, pretty much. Maybe we should invest in some new
stabilizers?

Tom: Oh NO... don't tell me....

>He turned to two other robots that he had created with the aid of the
>replicator. "How about a movie, guys?"

Tom: D'oh!

Crow: Hoo boy... so is this a Meta-MSTing now?

Joel: Maybe it's just a disquieting coincidence...?

>The two robots, a red one and a golden one, began screaming.

(Crow and Tom look at each other for a moment and shrug)

Bots: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHH!!!

Joel: Guess not.

>"You told us we wouldn't have to put up with those anymore, Dave!"
>screamed the red one.

Crow: Wonder if he's related to the... <ominous> DARK ONE...?

Tom: <whiny> Aww, but I wanted to be the smart one!

Joel: Maybe he's got a pair of Joey the Lemurs up there?

>"No, Tom. I meant a *good* movie. How about those Star Wars prequels?
>Never got to see those."

Crow: <Tom> Nah, I'm more of a Trek fan myself. I Grock Spock, ya know?

Tom: Oh, ha ha. Very funny.

Crow: <Tom> Why, I'd gladly give up my underwear collection for Leonard
Nimoy's autograph! I so adore his pointy ears....

Tom: H-Hey! Cut that out! Joel, make him stop!

Crow: Hee hee hee!

>"Fine with me! No more bad movies!" whooped Crow, the other robot.

Crow: Well, it's better than being the other woman, I guess.

Joel: Crow T. Robot *IS* Curly Q. Link!

Crow: Ha! Good one, Joel! Come on, Servo! Riff away on me! I can take it!

Tom: <smug> Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? Well, I'm not stooping down
to your level, Crow. You'll simply have to live with the shame of being a bully
that needs to pick on others to feel better....

Crow: <shrugs> Suit yourself, gumball breath. <Tom> Oh, Mr. Shatner! Have
I told you how much 'Star Trek Memories' inspired me?

Joel: <wincing> Uh-oh....

Tom: <incensed> RIGHT! THAT'S IT!! YOU JUST WROTE A CHECK
YOUR ASS CAN'T CASH, PAL!!! DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!

(There was a flash of fire from Tom's base as he shot up high above the theater
seats as if propelled by a cannon and then dove to attack a surprised Crow.

Crow: What the... AHH!?

(Tom's body collided with Crow's head, knocking his net off and sending
him crashing to the theater floor with the enraged Servo on top of his face
and batting him repeatedly with his useless arms by rolling his body rapidly
from side to side.)

Joel: <rolling his eyes> Oh, brother....

(Joel reached down and deftly picked up Tom, ceasing his weak flailing, while
Crow lay sprawled on the ground, more stunned than hurt. Joel placed Tom
back in his seat and held him there with one hand while offering the other to
the fallen Crow who gratefully accepted it as he crawled back into his seat.)

Joel: Now stay put and behave yourselves or no ramchips later for either of you!

Crow: <muttering> The truth hurts, eh Tommy?

Tom: <struggling against Joel's grip> Oh, you want some more of this!? Huh!?

Joel: Enough already! We've still got a little ways to go with the fic so let's
try to keep our cool and remember we're all on the same side, okay?

Both: <sighing> Okay....

Joel: Thank you.

>"Gypsy," Dave ordered a larger purple robot. "Second star to the right
>and straight on 'till morning!"

Crow: <Gypsy> I can't! I've got a hot date tonight with Richard Baseheart!
Would you settle for straight on 'till six?

(Suddenly the theater P.A. system crackles to life)

Gypsy: <distorted> Keep my private life out of the theater, Crow!

Crow: <nervously> Oh, sorry... heh... just a little harmless ribbing, Gyps!

Gypsy: <distorted> Hmph!

Tom: See, Joel? He just likes to invite trouble!

Crow: Oh, put a sock in it, Servo.

>"Dave, never quote Star Trek VI again!" shouted Tom.

>"Sorry. Sorry."

Joel: Ok, who slipped Tom the AA batteries?

Tom: <Snake> Dude! I need C batteries! C!!!

>The Satellite of Love flew through space.

Joel: <singing> ...with the greatest of ease....

Crow: ...having been set adrift from Earth's orbit, it quickly made its way
towards the edge of the universe where its inhabitants were transformed into
beings of pure energy before leaving the Satellite for a little while to explore
the cosmos....

Tom: Shyeah, like that would ever happen! Get real!

>Epilogue 2

Tom: The Wrath of Dave.

Joel: <singing> This is the fic that never ends....

Crow: Bite your tongue!

>Time passed. After an incident with the Nexus and Q, Jay finally
>proposed to Marrissa, and Alexander proposed to Clara.

Tom: And Dave proposed to Crow.

Crow: Yeah, and... HEY!!

Tom: Heh heh heh....

>The wedding on Essex was the social event of the season.

Joel: Though it paled in comparison to the wedding at ACen 2001.

Crow: Aww... that's sweet, Joel.

Tom: Enough with the in-jokes, Miller! We've got fanfic to MST!

>Dave was pleased to find a request to attend in his messages, as well as
>a request to do something else.

Crow: <Dave> Well, I think I can stick my head between my legs but I dunno
about this other stuff....

>At the reception, Dave was finishing a song he had learned from his time.

Tom: <Dave, singing> Star Wars... nothing but Star Wars....

Crow: <Marrissa> Hit him. HIT. HIM.

>"...and time goes by... so slowly... and time can do so much... are
>you still mine? I need your love... I need your love... God speed your
>love... to me..."

Crow: All I can say is... thank GOD this is just text!

>Jay and Marrissa looked into each other's eyes with love as they
>danced to the song.

Joel: <Jean Luc Picard> Hey hey hey! Keep those hands up where I
can see them Commander! S-Stop dancing so close to her!! If you think
for ONE minute that I'm going to let you go where no man has gone before
with my daughter....!!!

Crow: <Marrissa> I knew it was a mistake to make him the chaperone.

>"And, now to get this party rocking for our happy couples, here's
>something a bit more up-tempo! 1-2-3!"

All: <Dave, singing> MR. TAMBOURINE MAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!

>The background vocalists sang, "Good Love! Good Love!"

Joel: Dave Hines *IS* The Wedding Singer!

>After the song, Dave said "Best of luck, Jay, Marrissa, Clara and
>Alex!" The party raged long into the night.

Crow: And the hangovers long into the next afternoon.

>THE END

Tom: Executive Producer
Dave Hines

Crow: Whew! It's finally over. You know, for a Marrissa fic, this actually
wasn't all that bad...

Joel: Yeah, sure it was downright goofy in a few places, and plot contrivances
saved Marrissa's butt yet again, but really, I'd say this wasn't much worse than
an average episode of Voyager....

Tom: Okay, but what was the deal with that first epilogue? Did Dr. Forrester
work out some sort of deal with Marrissa to trap Dave in space for his
experiments?

Crow: <giggling> Yeah, maybe he promised her TV's Frank's weight in
strawberries!

Joel: One thing that puzzles me though... exactly why is this story called
Line-As-Q?

Tom: Hmmm... good question. Assuming the answer wasn't in the first eight
chapters that we weren't allowed to see... maybe it refers to a line that we
stand before every day. A line that we have to decide whether or not to cross
outright or stand behind depending on the situation. Marrissa managed to
stay behind the line when she was offered the powers of the Q, even if refusal
meant the possible end of all she held dear....

Crow: But if that's true, didn't Marrissa and Dave cross the line when they
took the Trakce ships with them? Even if it was an accident, Dave still
MURDERED the Trakce crew and then for him and Marrissa to capture the
ships instead of returning them to the Trakce... that's outright PIRACY!

Tom: Well, maybe Marrissa wouldn't have been so hasty if Q hadn't REMOVED
HER MEMORY afterwards! I mean, what's the point of testing her ethics if
you're just going to snap your fingers and erase any lesson she may have
learned from the experience?

Joel: <smiling> I'm impressed, guys. Those are some good observations. Of
course, I seriously doubt this story was meant to be taken very seriously, what
with Dave delivering a performance not unlike Jim Carrey in 'Dumb and
Dumber'....

Crow: Hey, at least 'Dumb and Dumber' had Lauren Holly.

Tom: <wistful> Yeah... Lauren Holly would've made a nice addition to this
fic... you guys ever see her in Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story? I'd bet she'd
look great in a starfleet uniform....

Crow: She's married again, Tom. Let it go.

Joel: Eh, let him have his fantasies... <smiles suddenly> ...besides, ANYTHING
is better than hearing another twisted fantasy by a certain robot about a
certain Kim Cattrall....

Crow: <mock anger> Watch it, Robinson! That's the future mother of my
children you're talking about! Sure, they'll be adopted but it's the principal
of the thing!

Joel: <chuckles> Anyway, my legs are getting stiff, so what's say we skip
the cliché adjective and just go?

Crow: Suits me fine. I think we've padded this conversation out nicely.

Joel: Shh! You're not supposed to say things like that!

Crow: Since when?

(Joel shakes his head as he picks up a still daydreaming Tom and follows
Crow out of the theater)

* * *

DEEP 13

Dr. Forrester smiled as he watched the trio leave the theater. "Cast your
barbs while you can, boobies, for Marrissa is only the beginning...." He
chuckled to himself as he walked over to the console and picked up a
dusty folder marked 'DEEP HURTING'.

"Already the first experiment caused you to turn on each other, however
briefly, and little by little, I'm going to wear you out like a pair of cheap
slippers until you're all at each other's throats and then... I'll unleash a
fanfic that'll make 'Artemis's Lover' seem like a blessing!
BWAHAHAHAHAHH... AHH... AHCHOO!"

Dr. Forrester sniffed and wiped his nose with his sleeve as he noticed the
dust on the folder was aggravating his dust allergy. "Frank! I need a tissue!"
He called out.

"Sure." Frank handed him one from one of the Kleenex boxes on the tray.

"Thank you, Frank...." Dr. Forrester gratefully accepted the tissue and gave
it a long hard blow with his nose. Suddenly, he wheezed and coughed as he
stared at the tissue in horror. "Frank... where did you get this?"

"From one of the boxes on the... heh, oops?" Frank cringed.

"FRANK, YOU IDIOT!!! AH-AHCHOO!! AHCHOO!! Dr. Forrester sneezed
into the kleenex again out of habit before shrieking in horror as he flung it
away from him. His eyes were very puffy and red and his nose could lead
Santa's sleigh through the worst of blizzards.

"Uh... M-maybe I'd better just push the b-button?" Frank stammered nervously.

"AHCHOO! YOU'LL BE PUSHING *DAISIES* BY THE TIME I'M THROUGH
WITH YOU!! AH-AH-AHCHOO!!" Dr. Forrester's speech was impaired as he
struggled to breathe. "YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS, FRANK!!!
AHCHOO! OH GOD, WHERE'S MY DAMN ALLERGY MEDICATION?!?" He
screamed as he fled the lab amidst a flurry of sneezes, sniffles, coughs and
cursing.

Frank watched him go and then the dust in the air began to tickle his own nose.
He quickly reached into his pocket and pulled out a hanky to intercept the
sneeze and then did an exaggerated double-take as a look of realization
washed over his face.

"Gee, I had a clean hanky all the time... well, don't that beat all!"

Frank took a moment to wink into the camera before pushing the
button, whistling 'No more, Mr. Nice Guy' as he went to fetch an ionizer....

...AND THE MSTINGS
CONTINUE...

I hope you enjoyed this and C&C is very welcome. (mega...@home.com)

Author's Notes: Whew, it's finally done! After a VERY intense couple of
weeks of stress, I finally got it together to finish this MST that I've had on
the shelf for quite a while now. I'd like to give very special thanks to Alicia
for letting me keep the dibs on this MSTing even though I took my sweet time
with it and I'd also like to give very special thanks to Dave Hines for still
being okay with this MST. I hope I wasn't too rough on ya. ;P MSTing a Star
Trek fic was an interesting and fun experience for me and I hope to do more
of them in the future if the opportunity arises. :)

I've been MSTing for four years now and I want to thank each and every
person who's send me words of support and encouragement and who have
helped me throughout these last three years. I treasure every piece of fan
mail I receive and I consider it a great honor that some people have dedicated
their MSTings to me and tell me that I helped encourage them to start MSTing.
To all of you, thank you from the bottom of my heart and I hope I can continue
to inspire and make you laugh for a long time to come. :)

I'd like to give personal thanks to Zoogz, who helped me with some
in-depth C&C and suggested many riffs for this MSTing. He is a very
funny and talented author and you can find his works at his new webpage
http://www.nabiki.com/mst including his Utena MSTing 'Ma Vie et Roses'.
He is currently working on a SM/Chrono Trigger self-insert called 'Sailor
Trigger', and an original fanfic called 'Point Source', both of them coming
soon to a fanfiction archive near you!

Also, I'd like to give personal thanks, once again, to Gary Kleppe, whose
C&C and suggestions are always appreciated. I can't say enough nice
things about this guy! :) If you haven't had a chance to check out his
latest works 'The Ghost Prison' and 'For a Dying Friend', you can reach
him at kle...@mediaone.net or his new webpage at
http://www.akane.org/gary/comics.html and I'm sure he'll be happy
to send the story along to you.

Finally I'd like to thank Dave Hines once again for writing 'Lines As Q' and
giving me his blessing to MST it as well as a lot of material to work with. I
hope you're not offended. It's all meant in good fun. :)

'A MSTing for All Seasons'
http://www.nabiki.com/mst

Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings
http://lefty.simplenet.com/svam/

Shizen's Versatile Home Page V3.0
http://svhp.webjump.com/
(Alternate site: http://www.tass.org/fanfic/MST3k/)

SEASON ONE
------------------
101- "GAMES" by Artemis (SM Lemon)
102- "ARTEMIS'S LOVER" (Original Draft) by Oscar (SM Lemon)
103- "SAILOR JUPITER VS. GODZILLA" by The Flashman
(SM/GODZILLA CROSSOVER)
104- "JUDGE BRAINITITE" by Dr. Thinker (SM Fanfic)
w/short "RANMA 1/2: ACCUSED PT. 1" by Karmin (R1/2 Fanfic)
105- "THE WAR" by M. Llave (R1/2 Fanfic)
106- "TRANSITIONS" by Richard Lawson (Nuku Nuku Fanfic)
107- "HELLRAISERS" (Original Draft) by Aaron Eaton
(La Blue Girl/Overfiend/Original Crossover)
108- "MEN OF BOKKEN" by M. Llave (R1/2 Fanfic)
109- "BISHOUJO SENSHI ROYAL RUMBLE" by Ken Hoinsky
(SM/WWF Crossover)
w/short "THE DINNER PARTY" by Chris Curzon (SM/RL Crossover)
110- "XMAS SPECIAL: SAILOR MOON MEETS FATHER
CHRISTMAS" by Dr. Thinker (SM Christmas Fanfic)

SEASON TWO
-------------------
201- "THAT GIRL" PT. 1-2 by Oscar (SM Lemon)
202- "VIRGIN WARRIOR SAILOR MOON" by Umino (SM Lemon)
203- "*R*P*M*" by Flynn (SM/SPAWN Crossover)
204- "RANKO'S LIFE" PT. 1-2 by Hitomi Ichinohei (R1/2 Fanfic)
205- "TRAPPED" by Mr_Jazz (SM Lemon)
206- "OSCAR TOON" PT. 1-4 by Oscar (SM/DBZ/WB Crossover)
207- "CALIFORNIA DREAMING" by Shakari (Mutiple Crossovers)
208- "A RANMA 1/2 FANFIC" PT. 1-2 by Sheep (R1/2 Fanfic)
209- "TRIANGLE TANGLE" by CATS (SM Lemon)
210- "THE KIDNAPPING" PT. 1-2 by SMendou (UY Lemon)

SEASON THREE
----------------------
301- "A WET DREAM COME TRUE" by Mike Rhea (R1/2 Lemon)
302- "TORTURED ECHO" PT. 1-4 by Trakal (R1/2 Fanfic)
303- "RANMA KILLS!" PT. 1-2 by Sir Asayogure (R1/2 Fanfic)
304- "OKONOMIYAKI SUMMER" by Mike Rhea (R1/2 Fanfic)
w/short "UNDER THE MISTLETOE" by Mike Rhea (R1/2 Fanfic)
305- "XMAS SPECIAL: A CHRISTMAS FIT FOR A POKEMON"
by Dr. Thinker (Pokemon Christmas Fanfic)
306- "9-BALL DREAMS" PT. 1-2 by Mr_Jazz (SM Crossover Lemon)
307- "WINTER" by Joseph Palmer (R1/2 Fanfic)
308- "UKYO GETS WHAT SHE DESERVES" PT. 1-2 by R_Vincent
(R1/2 Lemon)
309- "I WANT TO MEET A PRINCE LIKE DEAR OLD DAD, MOM,
SIS, BRO & FRISKY!" by Katherine (Utena Lemon)
310- "THE IO SAGA" PT. 1-4 by Sarah J. Gates (SM Fanfic)

SEASON FOUR
--------------------
401- "LINES AS Q PART 2" by Dave Hines (ST:TNG Fanfic)

SHORTY!
-------------
101- SUBLIMINALLY SEDUCE WOMEN INSTANTLY!
102- THE UGLIEST WOMEN ON THE NET!
103- PHEROMONES!
104- THE INTERNET SPY AND YOU!!
105- THE SECRET FLAW!

OTHER MSTINGS I'VE CONTRIBUTED TO
---------------------------------------------------------
"DIMISIONAL TROUBLE" by Dr. Thinker (SM Fanfic)
"MOONDUSTED" by Stephen Ratliff (SM/TNG Crossover)

Shinji's Vault of Anime MSTings
http://lefty.simplenet.com/svam/

"THE COUNTESS CHRONICLES" by Lin Lin (SM Dark Lemon)
"9 1/2 CHIPMUNKS" by Toon Dreams (Rescue Rangers Yaoi Lemon)

Lefty's MSTings
http://lefty.simplenet.com/MSTings/index.htm

'MYSTERY WRESTLING THEATER 3000', POST 105: DOUBLE TROUBLE!
(Two interviews with the Ultimate Warrior and '3:16 Rulzs!' by Oracle)

Website Number 9 MSTings
http://neylonpc.engin.umich.edu/mst3k/mistings.shtml

"THE DAY OF EMERGANCE" by Jeffrey Lee
(Ranma 1/2/Eddings/SM Crossover)

Gary Kleppe's Comics and Manga Page
http://www.akane.org/gary/comics.html

*New Collaberations*

"REDHEADS" by Robert "Kenko" Haynie
(Slayers/Ranma 1/2 Crossover)

"WILD SILVER" by Francis Bourque
(Sailor Moon/Ranma 1/2 Crossover)

"RELATIONSHIPS" by Sidewinder
(Neon Genesis Evangelion/Sailor Moon Crossover)

"A LITTLE CHANGE OF PLANS" by Wishbringer
(Neon Genesis Evangelion/Ranma 1/2 Crossover)