MiSTing "The Odyssey" (pt.9)
Tjats
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>The Sirens
>
>(Odysseus returns to Circe's Island. The goddess reveals his course to
>him and gives advice on how to avoid the dangers he will face:
Servo: What about burying that other non-descript character?
>the Sirens, who lure sailors to their destruction;
Mike: Whoda thunk that fire engines could be used as a weapon?
>the Wandering Rocks, sea rocks that destroy even birds in flight;
Crow: Well, blind, low-flying birds, anyway...
>the perils of the sea monster Scylla and, nearby, the whirlpool Charybidis;
>and the cattle of the sun god, which Tiresias has warned Odysseus not to
>harm.)
>
>as Circe spoke,
Observer: ...Odysseus fell asleep.
>Dawn mounted her golden throne,
>and on the first rays Circe left me, taking
>her way like a great goddess up the island.
Servo: But, she IS a goddess!
>I made straight for the ship, roused up the men
>to get aboard and cast off at the stern.
>They scrambled to their places by the rowlocks
>and all in line dipped oars in the gray sea.
Mike: Now, it is apparent at this point that Homer is blind.
>But soon an offshore breeze, a lusty shipmate
>sent by the singing nymph with sunbright hair.
Pearl: Is Odysseus drunk as he tells this story?
Servo[drunk]: Then the pink elephants danced across the ocean and flew away to
the marshmallowy clouds...
>So we made fast the braces,
Mike: Quick orthodontists.
>and we rested,
>letting the wind and stersman work the ship.
>The crew being now silent before me, I
>addressed them, sore at heart:
>
>'Dear friends, more than one man, or two, should know
> those things
>Circe foresaw for us and shared with me,
>so let me tell her forecast:
Crow: She says there will be a light shower coming from the east sometime
tomorrow, but clear skys till then...
>then we die with our eyes open,
Mike: That's not a very good moral-boosting speech, sir.
>if we are going to die,
>or know what death we baffle if we can. Sirens
>weaving a haunting song over the sea
>we are to shun, ahe said, and their green shore
>all sweet with clover; yet she urged that I
>alone listen to their song.
Observer: That's awfully selfish.
Bobo starts to snore louder.
>Therefore
>you are to tie me up, tight as a splint,
Crow: ...and spank me. No, no, wait!
>erect along the mast, lashed to the mast,
Mike: Bashed on the mast.
Servo: Splashed goes the past.
Crow: Nashed in the blast.
Pearl: Rashed with a nast.
Observer: Faulty with some ham.
Mike, 'Bots, Pearl: Huh?
Observer: Sorry.
>and if I shout and beg to be untied,
>take more turns of the rope to muffle me.'
>
>I rather dwelt on this part of the forecast,
Servo: The heavy showers and low pressure areas were advancing fast.
>while our good ship made time, bound outward down
>the wind for the strange island of Sirens.
>Then all at once the wind fell, and a calm
>came over all the sea, as though
Mike: ...a clam had come over all the sea.
>some power
>lulled the swell.
>The crew were on their feet briskly, to furl the sail, and
> stow it;
Servo: So, when nothing happens, the crew panicks?
Mike: Guess so.
>then
>each in place, they poised the smooth oar blades
>and sent the white foam scudding by. I carved
>a massive cake of beeswax
Crow: Yum.
Bobo's snoring is getting anoying.
Pearl gets up, walks over to Bobo and hits him on the head.
Bobo: I'm up! I'm up!
>into bits
>and rolled them in my hands untill they softened-
>no long task, for a burning heat came down
>from Helios, lord of high noon.
Observer: So, which gods haate him, and which gods help him? This is so
confusing!
>Going forward
>I carried wax along the line,
Servo: What line?
>and laid it
>thick on their ears. They tied me up, then, plumb
>amidships, back to the mast, lashed to the mast,
Servo: Dashed with some hash...browns.
Mike: Servo, cut it out.
>and took themselves again to rowing. Soon,
>as we came smartly within hailing distance,
Servo: How could you be smart if you headed TOWARDS the danger?!?
>the two Sirens, noting our fast ship
>off their point, made ready, and they sang:
All: Ooooooh, Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way...
>
> This way, oh turn your bows,
> Achea's glory,
> As all the world allows-
> Moor and be merry
Crow[as Odysseus]: Devils! They're singing our song!
>
> Sweet coupled airs we sing.
> No lonely seafarer
> Holds clear of entering
> Out green mirror
Observer: How can you enter a mirror?
>
> Pleased by each purling note
> Like honey twining
> From her throat and my throat,
> Who lies a-pining?
Crow: Hey! They're actually rhyming! Wow!
>
> Sea rovers here take joy
> Voyaging onward,
> As from our song of Troy
> Graybeard and rower-boy
> Goeth more learned.
Servo[singing]: Investeth money in college.
>
> All feats on that great field
> In the long warfare,
> Dark days the bright gods willed,
> Wounds you bore there,
Pearl: It's amazing how he can remember all this years later.
>
> Argos' old soldiery
> On Troy beach teeming,
> No life on earth can be
> Hid from our dreaming.
>
>The lovely voices in ardor appealing over the water
>Made me crave to listen, and I tried to say
Mike: Shut the hell up! I'm trying to listen!
>'Untie me!' to the crew, jerking my brows;
>but they bent steady to the oars. Then Perimedes
Mike: Ah, now it's time to introduce some more characters I forgot to mention
before.
>got to his feet, he and Eurylochus,
>and passed more line about, to hold me still.
>So all rowed on, untill the Sirens
>dropped under the sea rim, and their singing dwindled away.
>
>My faithful company
Crow: ...called Odysseus Inc. ...
>rested on their oars now, peeling off
>the wax that I had laid thick on their ears;
>then set me free.
Bobo: Unfourunately, the ship floated back to the island, and the Sirens lured
us to our deaths.
(commercial)
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Questions? Concerns? Coments? Complaints?
e-mail Tj...@aol.com
I can also send you previous parts of the Odyssey MiSTing if they have expired.
Jim, the Mistie
"Watch out for Sirens!"