MSTing: Ferrets! (1/1)

[a.ca...@genie.com]

Since I've been too busy lately to get any work done on my big exciting
full-color VistaVision THX 70mm full-length follow-up to ARGON, here's a
quickie MSTing I did on a letter I (and a bunch of other people) got from
some friends. Amazingly enough, they're still friends even after I did this.

[Post AC-3, October 1995.]

[SOL, in the theater.]

Mike: Whoa! What're we all doing here all of a sudden?
Tom: Don't question, just accept.

>Hi all!

Crow: Who let Ed McMahon in?

>
>Jeff and I are now the proud parents

Tom: Jeez, guys, you're not married =yet=.

>of two adult female ferrets

Crow: Zowie. Bet that was a difficult birth.
Mike: Single white male, 35, seeks adult female ferret for fun,
companionship, possible long-term relationship. Must enjoy long walks
on the beach, candlelit dinners, pina coladas, getting caught in the
rain. Please send photo.

>-- Sugar and Spice.

Crow: =Someone= saw BATMAN FOREVER too many times.

>(No, we did not name them as we adopted them from a Ferret
>Rescue program).

Mike: Oh, no! The ferret's fallen down the well!
Tom: Quick! Get the vaseline and that freak with no collarbone!

>Sugar is white

Crow: --unsullied by the mongrel genes of lesser races.
Mike: Jeez, where's Laura Hart-McKinny when you need her?

>with a little grey down her back,

Tom: Have you considered new JUST FOR FERRETS? Simply apply, set for
five minutes, and rinse! Blends grey away safely and effectively!

>and loves to play with toys, balls etc.

Mike: I hear that's pretty much what Dan Quayle's been doing since he
got kicked out of office.

>Spice is sable,

Crow: --now that we finally got her to start taking her lithium.
Mike: Jeez, what's wrong with you? There's no "t" in that word. You
really ought to start reading more carefully.

>(brown and white, a little more racoony in features),

Tom: She's going for the Calvin Klein ad look.

>and is the intrepid explorer, cramming

Mike: --for that bio test all night. It's 25% of your grade!

>herself into anything that looks like a dark and gloomy tunnel.

Crow: Whoa! Paging Dr. Freud.

>
>We've had them for 2 days and so far they're tons of fun

Tom: Imperial or metric?

>and have already
>conquered the living room!

Crow: And France. They saw the ferrets coming and surrendered immediately.
Mike: Well, we all just kind of assumed.

>
>Hope you're all in good health

Tom: Come t'think of it, mah rheumatism's been actin' up sumpin' awful--
Mike: We really don't want to hear about it.

>and spirits!

Crow: Spirits? Where? Ah, sweet booze, you always take the pain away...

>
>Karen & Jeff

Crow: Wow! Credits!
Tom: Yeah, great. Let's go home, Debbie.

Hope you enjoyed it!
Love,
Adam.

[Disclaimer? On something this short? Okay, fine. I didn't make up
Mike and Crow and Tom. BBI did. Correction -- BBI made Crow and Tom.
I assume Mr. & Mrs. Nelson made Mike. There, happy?]