[MiSTing] Arrogance of Slumber (part 2)
Cressida
CROW: [as Scully] Hands off, dickweed! He's mine!
> "I know. Here's your sugar. It's the totally-natural kind."
TOM: Yeah, I hate those sugar-Nutrasweet blends, too.
> Mulder dipped his finger in the cup. "Mm, tasty. So_.sugar
> canish."
CROW: Whoa-hoh! A little sugar for Mulder, eh?
> Scully giggled and set the sugar on the table.
> And as Mulder walked back, Scully came up with the best dare
> of all time.
MIKE: Ascending to 100,000 feet in a helium balloon and skydiving from
there?
CROW: Even better!
MIKE: Ooooh!
> "Mulder, truth or dare?", hoping for a dare.
> "I'm macho.
TOM: Hey, Macho.
CROW: Hey, Sisco.
> Dare."
> Scully smiled. Prank calls were always the best_even to your
> superior.
TOM: See? *Scully* agrees with us!
MIKE: May I remind you what prank calls to *our* superior got us?
>
> ~````~`~`~ ----------` >>> Off you go Jaid!
CROW: [as Daffy Duck] There's only room enough on this planet for one of
us...
> MegX
> ~````~`~`~ --------` >>>>
> Lexie is off!@
TOM: This *story* is off!
> ~````~`~`~ -------- -> >>>>
MIKE: What's with all the half-fletched, multi-headed arrows?
>
> "All right Mulder, I dare you to call Skinner
MIKE: Okay, guys. Given the level of maturity shown so far, what prank
is it going to be?
[The 'bots confer briefly.]
TOM: Mike, we're going to go with the classic, yet childish, 'refrigerator
running' gag.
> and profess your
> undying love."
> "What!!??!?!?!?!"
[The 'bots sit in stunned silence.]
MIKE: Once again, took the words right out of my mouth.
> "You heard me"
TOM: No! Mulder, please! Preserve some shred of decency in this 'fic and
*don't* *do* *it!*
> "But...But..."
MIKE: [as Delenn] I butt...you butt...he or she butts...
> "You have to do it and you have to identify yourself"
CROW: Hey! She didn't say he had to I.D. himself *truthfully!* There's
your out, Mulder!
> "I hate you Scully"
MIKE: Hear, hear!
> "Shut up and call"
> Mulder picked up the phone and dialed Skinner's number, all
> the while thinking of how to get Scully back for this
TOM: And because he was distracted, he misdialed, right?
CROW: We don't have that kind of luck.
> "Hi Sir this is Mulder..I'm just calling to say that I love
> you"
ALL: [singing] I just called ... to say ... I love you!
MIKE: So this is now some whacked-out version of 'To Sir, With Love?'
> :Scully buried her head in a nearby pillow to silence her
> laughter.
CROW: Just keep your head buried in it a little longer, Dana.
MIKE: But she'll suffocate!
CROW: Exactly.
MIKE: I thought you *liked* Scully!
CROW: Not like *this,* I don't!
> "I just thought you'd like to know, thank you sir good night"
MIKE: He got through that in a hurry.
CROW: Can you blame him?
> Scully burst into hysterical laughter when he hung up
> "Your turn miss giggle pants"
TOM: All right. That's it. I *refuse* to believe this is about the 'X-
Files' anymore! There is no way, no *flippin'* way, Mulder would
call *anyone* 'giggle pants!'
MIKE: I think we all need a break right now...
[He picks Tom up and they leave the theater. Commercials.]
[SOL. Bridge. Tom is growling and pacing back and forth--or would be, if
he had legs. Mike and Crow watch him anxiously.]
CROW: Ah, Tom? You really should relax, you know. It's only a story.
TOM: Only a story? *Only* a story? Was 'Manos' *only* a movie?
CROW: Good point.
TOM: What *is* it with people who insist they're fans of a particular show
or book, yet they take well-established characters and turn them
into--*things* their own mothers wouldn't recognize?!
MIKE: Look, Tom, is there anything I can do to help?
[Tom stops pacing.]
TOM: Yes. Yes, there is. I want you to make a crank call to Castle
Forrester.
MIKE: What?! It was you two doing that that got us into this mess in the
*first* place!
TOM: Hey, did I say call *Pearl?* No, I want you to spring a crank call
on...Observer!
MIKE: Oh, come on!
TOM: No, really, Mike. That's the only I'm gonna feel any better.
MIKE: Well, if you're sure...
TOM: Oh, I'm sure. [A muffled snigger escapes from Crow.]
[Mike brings the speaker phone up to the desk. He hits the speed-dialer,
and we hear the phone dialing, then ringing.]
[Castle Forrester. The main hall is empty--the soiree apparently didn't
survive Pearl's gaffe. Observer is picking up the last of the debris. He
hears the phone ringing, and picks up the receiver.]
OBSERVER: Castle Forrester, Observer speaking.
[SOL. Crow and Tom are poking at Mike and snickering, evidently egging
him on.]
MIKE: [in dumb-jock voice] Is your refrigerator running?
[Castle Forrester]
OBSERVER: Let me check.
[We hear a quick sting of his brain sound-effect.]
OBSERVER: Well, the compressor and the expansion valve are working within
optimal requirements, and there are no leaks of refrigerant. It
appears everything is in order. Why are you inquiring about its
condition?
[SOL]
MIKE: [no longer in a dumb-jock voice] Ah. Well, then. You'd...uhh...
you'd better go...umm. Catch it.
[He breaks the connection. Tom and Crow are now laughing out loud.]
MIKE: Hey! You guys set me up for that, didn't you?
TOM: Yep. And it worked--I feel a lot better now!
MIKE: Well, I'm glad I could help--hey!
[He turns irritatedly on them, but the lights start flashing.]
MIKE: Oh, great. We've got--
All: Slumber sign!
[Door sequence. They enter the theater and sit down.]
TOM: So where did we leave off?
MIKE: It's Scully's turn to choose.
> "Um...truth"
> "What's your wildest sexual fantasy?"
CROW: All *right!*
TOM: Now *that's* more like it!
> "I am not answering that...
TOM and CROW: Booo!
CROW: Wait a sec. I thought she said she didn't turn down stuff in Truth
or Dare?
MIKE: No, she just said she doesn't turn down *dares*...she never said
anything about the truth part.
> that's just perverted"
TOM: Only as perverted as your fantasy is, Scully!
> "Oh, well, then at least tell me who it's about"
> "Someone you know how's associated with the FBI and the
> x-files"
TOM: I don't know. How *is* he associated with the FBI and the X-Files?
> "Is it Skinner?"
CROW: Skinner? I don't even--
[Crow catches glares from the other two.]
CROW: Never mind.
> "NO, you love him remember"
TOM: What's wrong with a menage a trois?
> "Hahaha,Is it Cancerman?"
MIKE: He sounds like an unlikely superhero from 'Whose Line is it,
Anyway?'
> "EW! no!"
> "Is it me?"
> Mulder pouted
CROW: Briefly channeling the spirit of a Hollywood starlet.
> but quickly recovered trying to hide the fact
> that Scully's hysterical laughter hurt him.
MIKE: Did I mention that I cried?
> "Who is it?"
> "Why should I tell you"
TOM: [as Bill Cosby] And I said to myself, "Why should I tell her?"
> "This is why" said Mulder as he threw a pillow at her]
CROW: Which evidently hit the keyboard.
> "You brat!"Scully shrieked grabbing the pillow and hitting
> Mulder over the head with it.
MIKE: After dropping a brick inside it.
> this started an all out pillow
> fight
TOM: In which the UN got involved after sanctions failed.
> as Mulder and Scully ran around the room hitting each other
> and ducking behind furniture. The pillow fight ended when Mulder
> hit Scully's pillow out of her hand
CROW: That's some precision marksmanship.
TOM: Hey, the FBI trains for any contingency.
> and tackled her
> "Talk you evil fiend, or I'll hit you death"
MIKE: Mulder's dialogue by the people who write subtitles for Hong Kong
action movies!
> "NO"
> "That's it you're in trouble now"He said as he began tickling
> her
TOM: Tickling her *what?*
MIKE: Let's leave that to our rather fertile imaginations.
> "No Mulder stop it I'm really ticklish"
CROW: [dully] No. Stop. Please.
> "All the more reason"
> "All right, you win I'll talk" said Scully in between gasps for
> air and laughter
CROW: By this time, her lungs were ...
MIKE: We know.
TOM: Geez, she gives in that easily, and she's involved in espionage?
> "Who is it"
MIKE: Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?
> "Kryceck"
TOM: The tennis player?
> "What!?"
CROW: Each! Of! You! Will!...
> "My wildest sexual fantasies are about Kryceck"
TOM: [as Scully] Hey, those tennis players are built!
> "How, I mean, why I mean"
> "I know he's not the nicest guy in the world but he's really
> hot.
MIKE: Feverish, in fact.
TOM: Better get him to bed.
> Your turn"
> "I chose dare"Mulder pouted. How could Scully like Kryceck?
CROW: [singing] Is she really going out with him?
> Why
> did she laugh so hard when he suggested himself?
TOM: Hey, who wouldn't?
> Scully stared at
> him, wondering what he was thinking.
MIKE: [singing] Can you read my mind?
> Should she tell him that she
> just said Kryceck to make him mad?
TOM: He must be a Kafelnikov fan.
> Should she tell him that she
> laughed when he suggested himself to hide the truth?
MIKE: Or should she just have a bath and forget all about it?
> All of a
> sudden an idea came to her. the perfect way to say all that
> without saying it
CROW: Sign language!
TOM: Subtitles!
MIKE: Interpretive dance!
CROW: Cue Cards!
TOM: Semaphore!
MIKE: An Aldis lamp!
> "I dare you to kiss me"
TOM: Missed me! Missed me! Now you gotta kiss me!
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> CuPiD'S ArRoW
CROW: ThE mAsTeR iS lOoKiNg FoR a NeW wIfE...
> MeGaN JuSt PuLlEd ThE BoW!
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
> At first, Mulder looked like he had just gotten swimmers ear.
MIKE: He's batting himself on the side of the head?
> Him, on top of Scully in a laying position with her in a dog's "I
> know you're the ruler" part,
ALL: Whoa!
TOM: Megan, you go wash your hands out with soap *this* *instant!*
> she had just asked him to * kiss
> her * He absolutely, positively, in all complete sense,
CROW: Unlike that phrase.
> did NOT
> believe what he just heard.
> So instead, he asked, "Is this a joke?"
MIKE: [as Scully] No, *this* is a joke: Three FBI agents walk into a
bar ....
> Ooh boy, he thought. Open mouth and insert foot.
CROW: And gag from the taste. Blech!
> Scully looked like she was ready to throw him out of her
> apartment and lock him in the compactor.
MIKE: Did this just turn into a Star Wars crossover?
> "Do I joke Mulder?" She
> was stifling the biggest grin on the side of the planet.
CROW: So Scully is filled with glee at the thought of tossing someone in a
trash compactor?
TOM: Well, the thought of tossing *both* of them in one is giving me a
certain satisfaction.
> Mulder smiled, "No."
> Scully laughed. "Jeez, Mulder. Its just a game!
GYPSY: [enters from left side] It's only a game until someone *dies!*
MIKE: Nice cameo, Gypsy.
GYPSY: Thanks. [exits]
> I mean, did
> you really confess your true love to Assistant Director Skinner?"
TOM: Well...yeah.
CROW: Sure sounded like it to me.
> Mulder scrunched up his face.
MIKE: Oof. Those polyester faces wrinkle *so* much.
> "Please, don't remind me."
> Scully smiled, showing her teeth.
TOM: Bite down, please.
> "Fine, then. You take the
> dare or do you want the consequences?"
CROW: So they're playing Truth or Consequences?
MIKE: No, Truth or Dare.
CROW: Isn't that in New Mexico?
MIKE: *That's* Truth or Consequences!
TOM: So who's on first?
> Mulder looked heaven ward. "Do I look like a chicken?
CROW: [as Scully] Do I have to answer that?
> Don't
> treat me like I'm a chicken, Scully. I'm not a chicken!"
CROW: So Scully sighed and put away the onions and the roasting pan.
TOM: Oh, *great!* Now it's turning into that X-Files/Animaniacs
crossover!
MIKE: [singing] Agent Mulder, what's the matter with you? You don't act
like the other agents do...
> And with that, Mulder leaned over and did what he had wanted
> to do for 6 years.
CROW: He straightened her lampshade.
> He kissed Dana Katherine Scully, M.D.
TOM: Hmm...that's too long a name. How about we change it to
Marcus Welby, M.D.?
> It wasn't like one of those kisses on Melrose Place that went
> on for 3/4 of the hour of the show.
MIKE: We're learning more about the authors than I *ever* wanted to know.
> Yet, it wasn't short. Mulder
> had tried, in his mind, to pick the exactly amount of time
CROW: The exactly amount of time?
TOM: Precise.
> that
> would a) Make Scully * not * give him the consequences for a
> lousy job at a dare and b ) Didn't look like her liked her.
CROW: [singing] Her like her, he like he / They're a narcissistic
family...
> Ironic, Mulder thought. I spent my whole life looking for the
> truth and I'm hiding from it like a scared rabbit.
MIKE: Silly rabbit! Truth is for kids!
> So, the kiss lasted about 3 seconds. And for that 1/30 of a
> minute,
TOM: And the other second it would take to make it three seconds...
> Mulder felt like that song by the Carpenters.
CROW: "Hurting Each Other"?
TOM: "It's Going to Take Some Time"?
MIKE: "Rainy Days and Mondays"?
> He mentally
> sang, "I'm on, top of the world, looking, down on creation!"
CROW: Umm...it takes longer than three seconds to sing that.
MIKE: He must have cranked his mental record player up to 78 rpm.
> When he pulled away, he opened his eyes to find Scully's eye's
> just opening.
TOM: They were having a huge post-Thanksgiving sale.
> She smiled.
> < Akward moment>, Scully thought.
MIKE: Heh. This story's been nothing *but* awkward moments.
> Mulder came to the rescue. "Truth or dare."
ALL: Truth, dare, double dare, promise, or repeat!
> Scully laughed. "Dare."
> Mulder smiled even harder and wider than ever. "I dare YOU to
CROW: Stay off drugs!
> kiss ME."
> Scully's eye's
TOM: Scully's eye's lid's muscles?
> widened. Mulder could see the edges of her
> pale, blue, eyes.
> Now, Scully was thinking.
MIKE: Only now? That *definitely* explains a lot.
> "Good Lord, I don't believe this.
> Mulder asked me to kiss him."
> <Stop it Dana!
ALL: Yes, *please!* Stop the whole thing!
> You asked him the same question!>
> Scully mentally fought her mental voice.
TOM: Proving that she is, in fact, totally mental.
> "So? Can't I refuse?"
MIKE: [Godfather voice] No. He made ya an offer ya can't refuse.
> <Dana, Dana, Dana.
MIKE: Marsha, Marsha, Marsha.
TOM: [as Cary Grant] Judy, Judy, Judy!
> NO you CAN'T refuse. You like him. He likes
> you. What the hell is stopping you?>
CROW: Hey, that could be sung to Barney's theme, too!
MIKE: Somehow, I don't think that version will make it on the show.
> "The fact that we are still partners. And I'll have to face
> him tomorrow at work?"
TOM: I'd be surprised if these two could face *anyone* tomorrow.
> <Listen, carrot top.
CROW: You were *never* funny!
> You like him. So kiss him. Don't tell me
> you didn't LIKE his little smacker-oo.>
MIKE: Sure! Them's are good eatin'!
> Scully smiled to Mulder and put her arms behind her back
TOM: [as Scully] Guess which hand it's in.
> to
> lift herself slightly into a vertical position. And she kissed
> Mulder. Fox Mulder. "Spooky" Mulder.
MIKE: This whole story's spooky.
> And God was she happy!
CROW: At least *someone* is.
> It was a 5-second kiss that time.
TOM: Oooh, we're reaching new heights of sensuality now!
> And when she pulled away,
MIKE: Another senseless drive-by kissing.
> Mulder was smiling.
> "Truth."
CROW: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but
the truth?
> Scully looked scared. She knew WHY he wanted Truth. He was
> asking her to ask the question that was based on the kiss.
TOM: ... that chased the rat that ate the grain that lay in the house that
Jack built!
> "Um, OK. Mulder___________________do you love me?"
MIKE: OK, guys, fill in the blank time.
TOM: [as Scully] Mulder, how do you love me?
MIKE: [as Scully] Mulder, why do you love me?
CROW: [as Scully] Mulder, even though we've never given any indication in
the show that our relationship will progress beyond a close
friendship, do you love me?
>
> ~`~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
> Twang!
TOM: Hey, the show's not over yet!
CROW: I wish it was.
> Hook, line, and sinker.
> Hope it ain't too shippy!
MIKE: Shippy?!
TOM: That's it. I'm throwing out my dictionary.
> MeG
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
> Lexie's turn
> Mulder muttered something that Scully couldn't understand
CROW: No change there.
> "What?" she questioned
TOM: [falsetto] Do you have something to say to the entire class, Mr.
Mulder?
> "I oh, I ah...I'm sick of this game let's watch T.V." With that
> he turned around, grabbed the remote
MIKE: Ah, *finally.* He's back to being a guy.
> and flipped on the TV.
CROW: Then he did a few half-gainers and dismounted with a full-pommel-
twist!
> Scully sighed in frustration.
> She had been so close.
TOM: But the trophy buck she'd had in her gunsights had disappeared over
the ridge.
> Well, she wasn't going to let the brat off
> so easily.
CROW: She was going to put it in a poppyseed bun and smother it with
sauerkraut!
> "If you don't want to play truth or dare then let's do
> makeovers"
MIKE: Cameo by Emme of 'Fashion Emergency.'
> "You can't be serious?"
TOM: Funny how these characters keep reading our minds.
> "That was part of the deal, remember"
> "Oh all right, after all no one is going to see me"
> ***************************20 minutes later******************
[All sing the "passage of time" theme from _Jeopardy_]
> "You look so beautiful Mulder. That hooker red lipstick is just
> your color"
MIKE: Especially if you want to attract a bull.
CROW: And this story already has plenty.
> Mulder pouted as Scully laughed. She really had done a nice job.
> Her foundation was a little light for him
TOM: Hey, that foundation's not up to the building code!
> but her ivy mist
> eyeshadow really set off his eyes nicely.
CROW: If that's all it takes, he's set them way too sensitive.
> She had found a blush
> that was great with his skin tone
MIKE: Fish-belly white?
> and the lipstick, well the
> lipstick may not have looked good but it was definitely good
> payback
TOM: With Mel Gibson!
> for not answering her question.
> "Smile Mulder'
CROW: Oh, so *that's* his sister's name.
> "whuh" he stuttered as Scully snapped a picture
MIKE: Ah, that Duchovney eloquence.
> "You little brat. you better not show that to anyone"
> "Don't worry I will. I'll have this every desk in the FBI
> tomorrow morning"
TOM: Do they have 24-hour Photomats in D.C.?
> "Well the next time some alien or psycho kidnaps you don't come
> crying to me.
MIKE: Well, if she could do that, she wouldn't be kidnapped any more,
would she?
> Speaking of psycho, I wanna watch that, do you own
> it"
CROW: No, mother! Ketchup!
> "No, my movies are over there if you want to find something"
> "Scully these are all girly flicks" he gazed at her movies,
TOM: Girly flicks?! Is there something about Scully we don't know?
CROW: And wouldn't Mulder *want* to watch them?
> Beaches, First wives club, somewhere in time, fried green
> tomatoes,
MIKE: No, thanks. I couldn't keep anything down right now.
> Jerry Maguire, up close and personal
> "Do you have any guy flicks"
> "Just top gun"
> "Nah too mushy for me"
CROW: Geez, what sort of movie *does* he watch?
TOM: He subscribes to the 24-hour 'Bladerunner' channel.
> Well watching a movie was your idea either pick one or find
> something else for else to do"
MIKE: Else? When did she arrive?
> "I can think of one thing that we can do for the next few
> hours" he said, his voice low
CROW: Defrost the refrigerator?
> "What's that" she mummered
TOM: She's acting in a pantomime?
> "Well we could....
MIKE: Rub noses like the eskimoses?
TOM: Have a taffy pull?
CROW: Organize your underwear drawer?
TOM: Chuck wood?
>
>
> Megs Turn
>
>
> "......listen to the radio!" Mulder raised his voice on the
> last word.
MIKE: Hey, she kneed him in the groin!
TOM: [as Beavis] Huh, huh...cool!
> Scully smiled. <He had a better idea. Chicken.>
TOM: Scully, get the onions!
CROW: Chicken instead of potatoes? Honey, I *love* you!
> "Fine"
> Mulder ran to the little stereo Scully had. He flicked it on.
> Rock. Good ol' fashioned rock.
TOM: Yeah, I don't like them new-fangled rocks, like conglomerates.
Give me a good, old-fashioned basalt any day.
> The station was playing 3A.M. by Matchbox 20. Mulder sat down
> on the couch and Scully joined him.
MIKE: [as Groucho] Why? Was he coming apart?
>
>
>>she says it's cold outside and she hands me a raincoat
> >>.she's always worried about things like that
TOM: Gotta love those Jewish mothers.
> >>she says it's all gonna end and it might as well be my fault
CROW: [as guy] Well, *you're* the one who gave me the Doomsday machine!
> >>and she only sleeps when it's raining
MIKE: She'd better not move to the Atacama Desert, then.
> >>and she screams and her voice is straining
>
> Mulder stood up. He held out his hand to Scully. She raised her
> eyebrow.
TOM: ... instilling it with solid Midwestern values.
MIKE: She only has one?
> She took his hand and slowly stood up.
>
> `>she says baby
> >it's 3am I must be lonely
CROW: It's 3 a.m. Do you know where your obsessive girlfriend is?
> >when she says baby
> >well I can't help but be scared of it sometimes
> >says the rain's gonna wash away I believe it
TOM: So how do you wash away rain?
MIKE: With ... more rain, I guess.
>
> Scully and Mulder were dancing in a slow sense.
TOM: And that sentence makes no sense.
> Scully had to
> literally look up to Mulder because she was sans heels.
CROW: That would put her at about eye level with his ... stomach.
> They were
> close
MIKE: Hey, hey! Six inches between couples!
> and Mulder's answer to the Truth and Dare question.
>
> >she's got a little bit of something, God it's better than nothing
TOM: Not true in the case of this 'fic, though.
> >and in her color portrait world
CROW: Which means what, exactly?
TOM: Everyone sits around with enegmatic smiles on their faces.
> she believes that she's got it all
> >she swears the moon don't hang quite as high as it used to
MIKE: She must not have taken any astronomy courses.
> >and she only sleep when it's raining
> >and she screams and her voice is straining
CROW: So get her a lozenge, already!
>
> Scully's face was 2 inches from Mulder's. "I like this song,"
> Mulder smiled, "So do I."
MIKE: Uh-oh, Mulder's starting to talk to himself now ....
>
> As if on cue, the song faded.
ALL: Thank goodness!
> A new one started
ALL: D'oh!
> and Mulder
> smiled.
>
> I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy
[All moan, groan, and make general complaints.]
> I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need
CROW: Hey, can you be a charbroiled hamburger sammich and a french-fried
potatoes garnish?
> I'll love you more with every breath
> Truly, madly, deeply do
TOM: No, more like deep doo-doo.
> I will be strong, I will be faithful
> cause I'm counting on
MIKE: No, you're *singing* on ... and on ... and *on!*
>
> Scully began quietly singing along. Her voice was just a whisper
CROW: It's library karoake time!
> but it made Mulder listen and smile inside.
MIKE: Better watch out--that can lead to heartburn.
>
> A new beginning
TOM: Once upon a time ...
> A reason for living
MIKE: Uh, because I'm saving the world from destruction by tolerating
these bad fanfics?
> A deeper meaning, yea
CROW: Yeah, right. You couldn't find deeper meaning if we sent you to the
Marianas Trench.
>
> I want to stand with you on a mountain
> I want to bathe with you in the sea
CROW: Oh, c'mon! Just make up your mind and plan your vacation already!
> I want to lay like this forever
> Until the sky falls down on me
TOM: Wow. A boy band composed entirely of Chicken Littles.
>
> <He had no idea how true this may be,> Scully thought.
CROW: That sentence ought to relax--it's got two tenses!
[Mike and Tom groan.]
>
> And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky,
> I'll make a wish send it to heaven then make you want to cry
MIKE: Now they've turned into Georgie Porgie!
> The tears of joy for all the pleasure in the certainty
> That we're surrounded by the comfort and protection of
CROW: Right Guard deodorant!
>
> Mulder just watched Scully's lips move as she spoke.
TOM: He couldn't read lips, or he'd have realized she was telling him to
get off her foot.
They were
> swaying; Scully arms on Mulder's shoulders and his arms on her
> hips.
CROW: Given the height difference, they both must have arms like
orangutans.
>
> The highest powers
> In lonely hours
MIKE: Send April showers/ Which bring May flowers.
> The tears devour you
>
> I want to stand with you on a mountain
TOM: Sorry, I already dibsed it to proclaim my love for Creepygirl.
> I want to bathe with you in the sea
[All start humming the theme to 'Jaws.']
> I want to lay like this forever
CROW: [as girl] Too bad, buster! Get off your lazy butt and find a job!
> Until the sky falls down on me
>
> Oh can you see it baby?
> You don't have to close your eyes
MIKE: 'Cause if you did, you *couldn't* see it.
> Cause it's standing right here before you
TOM: It?
MIKE: Yeah, It. The hairy guy. He's standing right there.
[Crow chitters like Cousin It.]
> All that you need will surely come
>
>
TOM: Better enjoy that extra empty line while you can, guys.
> <God, she looks beautiful> Mulder thought.
>
> I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy
> I'll be your hope, I'll be your love, be everything that you need
CROW: [as girl] Sheesh, it's always "Me, me me!" with you!
> I'll love you more with every breath
> Truly, madly, deeply do
MIKE: Really, truly, madly, deeply, passionately, juicily do!
>
> Scully didn't finish the last line.
TOM: She was gagging too much on the saccharine?
MIKE: No, that's me.
> Mulder leaned over to kiss
> her.
> For the second time in 2 hours, Mulder kissed Scully.
CROW: And for the second time in this fanfic--
ALL: We don't believe it!
> And this
> time, it wasn't a dare.
MIKE: It was a physical challenge.
>
> I want to stand with you on a mountain
TOM: So I can push you off? Great!
> I want to bathe with you in the sea
TOM: Ooh, accidental drowning--even better!
> I want to lay like this forever
TOM: Six feet under? No problem.
> Until the sky falls down on me
TOM: And squishes you flat!
CROW: Geez, Tom. Bitter much?
>
> The last verses had no sing along;
MIKE: Mitch Miller had gone home and the bouncing ball had bounced away!
> its very hard to sing when
> your caught in a lip-lock.
CROW: And it's danged embarrassing when you have to call over a locksmith.
CONTINUED IN PART 3 ...