[MiSTing] Questions. I Get Questions [_-_, UFO, CASTLE]
John C. Mozena
"Questions. I Get Questions"
Original USENET post by John F. Winston,
MiSTed by John C. Mozena
Categories: UFO, _-_
********************
[Season 9 Theme]
[1...2...3...4...5...6...SoL Bridge]
[The bridge is dimly lit, with a quietly-snoring GYPSY bobbing
lightly over the counter. The lights begin to rise slowly, and
GYPSY begins to show signs of wakefulness. Once the lights are
full up, she raises her head to the sky.]
GYPSY: [Rooster-style] Cockle doodle doo!
[GYPSY then proceeds to wander off stage right. MIKE and CROW enter
from opposite ends, wearing pyjamas. The description of CROW in
pyjamas is left as an exercise for the reader.]
MIKE: Man, I'm glad I got that rooster mod for Gypsy. Reminds me
of my youth in Wisconsin. Great way to wake up and begin to face
the day.
CROW: You're an evil man, Nelson. Anyway, Gypsy's female, and she
shouldn't be doing the rooster thing.
[TOM enters]
TOM: I swear, I'm going to kill you, Mike.
MIKE: What's the matter, Tom?
TOM: So, I was having this dream. It was amazing! I had a spirit
guide that was this *primo* female robot who looked just like me,
but even more attractive -- I didn't even think that was possible!
She took me places and showed me ancient knowledge, I was going to
have total wisdom and freedom. Then, just as she was going to lay
a little dream lovin' on ol' Tom Servo, that damn rooster thing
went off and yanked me back to my room by this silver cord that
was attaching my soul to my body. I lost everything!
CROW: Uh, Servo? We don't have souls.
TOM: What?
MIKE: Sorry, Tom. He's right. Machines don't have souls, the
Lutheran Church was very strict about that after the unfortunate
story of Saint Bossy the Milking Machine.
TOM: So, what was my dream, then?
MIKE: Stale RAM chips?
CROW: Thought those tasted non-parity.
[MADS light flashes]
MIKE: The Dream Warriors are calling.
[CASTLE]
PEARL: Wakey wakey, my little somnolent lab rats. We've got an old
friend coming to visit.
[SoL]
MIKE: Krankor?
CROW: Exeter?
TOM: Ben Murphy?
[CASTLE]
PEARL: No, nothing so painless.
[SoL]
MIKE: Not...not...
ALL: Ratliff!?
[CASTLE]
PEARL: Well, no, not that bad. Well, he's at least close. Brain Guy,
feed them up a steaming, New Age helping of John_-_Winston, and
don't spare the pain!
OBSERVER: With pleasure.
[SoL]
ALL: We've got _-_ sign!
[Bridge...6...5...4...3...2...1...]
> Subject: Re: An Hmas Carol
TOM: Is that like Hogswatchnight?
> From: "John F. Winston" <john...@mlode.com>
CROW: Apparently, it's possible to legally change a middle name from
"_-_" to "F."
> Organization: Posted via Supernews, http://www.supernews.com
MIKE: [Mary Lou Retton] It's sooopernews!
> Date: Fri, 24 Dec 1999 06:47:19 -0800
CROW: T'was the night before Christmas, and all through USENET,
Winston was posting and we all were upset.
> Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
TOM: Cheez! Bacon bits! Candy corn! Ego!
> References: <83o8v6$u8j$1...@nnrp1.deja.com> <385fb...@news.cscs.ch>
> <NBQY4s0K...@zetnet.co.uk> <83r5ob$mtq$1...@news1.Radix.Net>
> Message-ID: <Pine.BSF.3.96.991224...@shell.mlode.com>
>
> Dear RevJack: It's good to see your still on.
MIKE: Apparently, his still had fallen off its base and John had lost
his white lightnin' supplier for a few weeks.
Here are a couple
> of postings I'm try to squeeze in here because I'm being censored
> from this group.
TOM: John, if you're getting censored from alt.religion.kibology, then
maybe it's time to take stock in your continued existence.
> John Winston.
>
> Subject: Questions. I Get Questions. Dec. 22, 1999.
CROW: Pain. We get pain.
>
> Here are some questions a person asked me and my answers to him.
TOM: Paper or plastic?
MIKE: Democrat or Republican?
CROW: Elecrocution or lethal injection?
MIKE: What?
CROW: Hey, Florida's now offering inmates a choice.
TOM: Darned liberals.
>
> .....................................................................
> .....................................................................
CROW: And there we have the most cogent argument that will be made in
this post.
>
> From: C
MIKE: To: VB
TOM: Subject: Perl
> *Subject: Hello, my friend.
ALL: I KISS YOU!!!
> *My name is C,
TOM: And I'm one of the Men in Black.
> JW I'm glad to meet you C. You strike me as being a person who is
> truly seeking the truth.
CROW: And justice, and the American Way.
> *and I am very interested in the UFO contact you have experienced. I
> *have been doing a lot of research lately about extraterrestrial
> involvement on our planet, but
MIKE: I ran out of peyote buttons and had to suspend investigations.
I am hesitant to whole heartedly accept
> the information that I have found.
MIKE: Because it makes sense.
> JW You have to weed through it to see what is true for you.
CROW: If it sounds absolutely nutty, it's true to me.
> *I am in the process of cross referencing the info with other sources.
TOM: The Weekly World News archives are amazingly informative.
> *I was doing research yesterday on an interesting website concerning
> *Hebrew names for G-d.
MIKE: Moses Weir?
TOM: Yitzhak Lesh?
CROW: Yeshua Garcia?
I theorize that what most civilizations have
> *mistaken for their Go-
CROW: Bots!
TOM: Mike, how come we can't transform into cool cars or jets?
MIKE: Trademark infringement.
or -ods are actually visitors to our planet
> *from elsewhere.
TOM: Well, some astrophysicists believe that the 1908 Siberia explosion
was actually Carrot Top's arrival on Earth, but there's a lack of
concensus on this hypothesis.
> JW I have come to that conclusion also.
MIKE: <AOL>Me too!</AOL>
> *I also theorize that if ONE other culture has come here, than MANY
> *others have as well.
CROW: Of course, my postulates are insane, but my downstream logic is
intact.
> JW The space people from the Pleiades say that over 300 types of
> civilizations have come here. There are 30 or more different types
> of Greys alone.
TOM: Oh, come on. Everybody knows you can't trust a space person from
the Pleiades. There's no more than 15 types of Greys. Or so I've heard.
> * I do not know which ones to consider, and which to disregard as
> *crazy new-age hype.
CROW: Here's a hint. Start by disregarding anything that involves aliens.
> JW Don't make the mistake of throwing out something just because
> it is the New-Age. You must gather information from all sources to
> get the complete picture.
CROW: And only then throw it out as crazy new-age hype.
> *I am keeping as open a mind as I can, but I don't want my brains to
> *fall from my gaping skull.
MIKE: Yup. Good plan.
> JW That is a good policy to follow.
TOM: Speaking from experience, are we?
> *Specifically, I have heard of an Elder race that populated Lemuria.
TOM: Home of the ancient race of lemurs that once ruled the Earth, but
now just sublet bits of North Carolina near Duke University.
MIKE: Are those lemur macaco flavifrons or propithecus verreauxi
coronatus?
CROW: I think they're daubentonia madagascarensis, actually.
> JW Yes. They were and are a good type of people.
> *Also there are theories that Atlantis works on the same premise, that
> it was inhabited by extraterrestrials.
CROW: But it perished in the turmoil following a pyramid scheme collapse
when everybody tried to follow the instructions on the earliest known
"Make.Money.Fast" scam, which was mystically transmitted by pyramids
and crystal skulls directly into Atlantean brains by an ancestor of
Craig Shergold.
> JW It was seeded by the space people. The Atlantians had a habit
> of when they became technologically superior to other people on
> this Earth they had a tendency to push people around and dominate them.
MIKE: Gee, good thing that countries like the good old USA don't act like
that.
> They became very materialistically oriented and not spiritually advanced
> and this brought their downfall.
CROW: Like I said. Pyramid schemes.
> *Some sources say that these races manipulated the local inhabitants,
> *both genetically and physically enslaving them (or if not forcefully
> *enslaving them, then giving them no choice but to worship them). I
> *have several names of these races to shoot at you: Lyrans, who were
> *supposedly very authoritative, Sirians, who were very kind to man,
TOM: Until they got angry about the whole Golan Heights thing.
> JW The Sirians weren't too kind to man either.
MIKE: They greenlighted three Pauly Shore movies.
> *and Pleiadians,
> JW The Pleiadians were basically good people and our kinfolks but when
> they came to Earth for more than 2 years they became as crazy as the
> rest of us due the the Lamda radiation that was not being filtered
> out by our ionosphere.
CROW: Lambda radiation? Isn't that the basis of Gaydar?
This radiation has been stopped somewhat in
> recent years.
CROW: It's all been absorbed by Richard Simmons.
> *who had a deep love for mankind and whose name I have come across
> *many, many times. So, What say you?
> JW Yes, the Pleiadians are here to help us out.
MIKE: The check's in the mail.
CROW: I'll still respect you in the morning.
TOM: I'm from the Pleiades, and I'm here to help you.
They have dominated
> us in the past and have progressed to the point where they want to
> come back and undo the harm that they have done to us in the past
MIKE: Like WB sitcoms?
so
> we will progress into the next dimension and be as they are. In this
> new dimension we will have peace and harmony.
TOM: And somebody will buy us all a Coke and teach us to sing.
> *I would love to know. Also, I wonder about the Sphinx, which I
> *have heard is over twenty thousand years old,
MIKE: Doesn't look a day over 15 thousand. Must be that Ponds Institute
technology.
> JW Yes. That is right. It is at least that old. I'll have to look
> it up again and see how old it is. According to Richard Miller in
> his book called Star Wards,
CROW: Subtitled: "Narrowly Avoiding LucasFilm's Lawyers"
The Great Pyramid was built in 45,600 B.C.
> It was made at the end of an ice age that the Earth was just coming
> out of to stabilize the axial excursion of the Earth so we would have
> the seasons that we now have.
TOM: Previously, we had Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall and Fred.
Other pyramids such as the ones in
> Shensi, China were made around the world. Large motors were set inside
> these pyramids to turn devices that would keep the Earth pointing
> true north.
MIKE: Yep, I dropped a 440 Hemi into this ziggaraut, got a nitrous blower
in the capstone, does zero to sixty in 3.2 eons.
The space people from Albebaran among some other
> people like Thoth were responsible for doing this.
> *the crystal skulls, which are supposedly vast storehouses of
CROW: Crystal Pepsi?
> JW Yes. I've seen Max The Crystal Skull personally and it is very
> powerful.
TOM: I'd find it hard to believe that anything named "Max" could be
"powerful."
MIKE: Max von Sydow?
TOM: I stand corrected.
> *information, the civilizations of Egypt, Mesopotamia and South America,
> *specifically The Maya and Inca.
> JW They are very interesting subjects. I've had the pleasure of
> reading about most of them.
CROW: And the centerfolds were amazing.
> *I would love to hear your thoughts on these subjects, though I
> *understand if you do not have enough time to answer
TOM: I mean, being a world-class USENET loon must take up a lot of your
time.
> JW I always have time to attempt to explain something to a person
> who is truly seeking the truth.
CROW: And completely confuse them.
> *in the depth that I would like. But let me give you something to
> *consider: I consider myself to be a teacher in training,
MIKE: There's the biggest argument for educational reform *I've* ever
seen.
and the
> *sooner I can gather the appropriate information, the sooner I can
> *begin to spread *it
CROW: Well, you're already spreading s*it, so you're most of the way
there.
(though I do this already, I would love to be
> *able to do it soon.
> JW I'll see if I can spread it to you so you can spread it to
> others.
CROW: Old _-_ apparently isn't using keyboard condoms, if he's spreading
it like that.
It's sort of like the farm machinery company that said,
> "We stand behind all of our equipment that we sell, except our
> manure spreader."
TOM: How apropos.
>
> *Thank-you very much for your time.
> JW Your more than welcome.
> *Sincerely, C
>
> John Winston.
[1...2...3...4...5...6...SoL Bridge]
TOM: Man, that John_-_Winston sure makes a lot of sense. I think I might
start looking to space for the answers to my questions.
MIKE: Um, Tom? We're *in* space, and all we've got here is pain, and no
helpful aliens.
CROW: In fact, the one alien we've found turned out to be a jerk.
[Lightning zaps down from the ceiling, leaving CROW lightly charred]
OBSERVER: [Off-screen] I heard that!
TOM [Mumbles something under his breath.]
[Zap. TOM is charred, too.]
OBSERVER: Heard that too!
TOM: I said that you were tremendously *quick* and a real *asset*!
MIKE: Nice try, at least.
[COMMERCIAL SIGN]
MIKE: We'll be right back.
[COMMERCIALS. YOU'VE GOT TIME TO BREW COFFEE AND ORGANIZE YOUR SOCK
DRAWER.]
[SoL]
TOM: But what if there *are* helpful aliens and spirits that have
ancient knowledge who speak to us in dreams?
CROW: Then why am I stuck holding a refrigerator box full of missed
Lotto tickets?
MIKE: Oh, spirit guides aren't worried about Lotto numbers or base
material goods, they're around to help us with personal growth and
peace.
CROW: I'd grow and be a lot more peaceful on a yacht anchored off
Bermuda with Carrie-Anne Moss in her Matrix outfit as my personal
assistant. Let's get with it, spirit guides!
[MIKE & THE BOTS are silent for a moment, looking upward as if for a
sign from the heavens. The silence is broken by movie sign.]
CROW: Oh, typical.
[Bridge...6...5...4...3...2...1...]
> Subject: Questions. I Get Questions. Part 2. Dec. 23, 1999.
>
> Here are some more questions from a person I will refer to as C.
MIKE: Glutton for pain, that C.
>
> ....................................................................
> ....................................................................
TOM: Looks like somebody ran a Garden Weasel across his post.
>
>
> *From: C
> *Subject: A few strange questions for you.
MIKE: Strange? Aw, no. What does *this* guy consider "strange?"
> * Ever since I can remember, I have had very strange dreams.
CROW: Paging Dr. Freud, Dr. Freud to the white courtesy phallic symbol.
I
> *personally believe, like the aborigines, that dreams are an integral
> *part of our existence, and that they are not separated or segmented
> *away from us, but are, like I have said, a PART of us.
TOM: 'Cause they, like, happen in our heads.
>
> JW That is correct. Each night when a person goes to sleep he or she
> is connected by their silver cord to their spirit which goes into
> the realms of light where they are taught by teachers.
MIKE: I don't have a silver cord. Mine's more beige.
In that
> condition they are sometimes given dreams that attempt to tell them
> something.
TOM: I SAID, WAKE UP! YOUR HOUSE IS ON FIRE!
>
> * I also believe that communication occurs through dreams, I mean
> *that other worldly entities may seek us out in the dream state to
> *give us guidance, or if they be malevolent, or lead us astray. What
> *experiences have you had with dreams, personally, and what have you
> *learned from others about the subject?
CROW: That my dreams make Samuel Taylor Coleridge's opium freak-outs look
mild by comparison.
>
> JW After reading you questions for the day I went to sleep and was
> given a replay of practically everything that I had learned in this
> lifetime after coming in contact with the space people.
MIKE: It took ten minutes with one commercial break and credits included.
One of the
> first things that I was told to impart to you is that you should read
> the book called "Autobiography Of A Yogi" by Paramahansa Yogananda.
TOM: That book was a rip-off, there wasn't *anything* in it about Boo-Boo.
> It will give you a good background of the Eastern way of thinking.
> We'll start off with that book. It can be found in most public
> libraries or they can send off for it for you.
CROW: Or just send you off.
>
> * Three nights ago, I awoke from a dream to find the spectral/astral
> *shape of a woman hovering about three feet above me. It shocked me
TOM: Because I'd never been within three feet of a woman before.
> *so much that I shot out my arms to protect myself,
MIKE: Just like Johnny Socko's flying robot!
and my body
> *followed my arms into the air. But I only have the memory of this
> *one instant, and then I was asleep again, or at least I presume as
> *much.
MIKE: It was the eyes-closed, not-awake thing that tipped me off to the
fact that I was asleep.
What on Earth was that? Was it an angel (whatever that is)
> *or a higher dimensional being, or maybe another human astrally
> *projecting to "check me out"?
CROW: Oh, yeah, as if you've ever been checked out.
>
> JW It is my opinion that you at the present time are operating at
> a fairly low frequency and the astral lower frequency entities are
> able to come into your presence. It just a way of waking you up
> and impressing on you that you should start trying to raise you
> resonant frequency.
MIKE: I'd recommend 20 rides on a Tilt-A-Whirl to get that ol' resonant
frequency raised.
CROW: Raising your resonant frequency is illegal in Alabama, isn't it?
>
> * I know that these questions are highly unorthodox, but you seem to
> *be just that kind of a guy.
CROW: Wait for it...
> JW Yes, I'm about as unorthodox as they come.
MIKE: You said it, not us.
>
> * Last night, or rather this morning, I dreamt of a beautiful young
> *woman that I met while journeying through "dreamland", I stopped to
> *talk to her, and she seduced me.
TOM: That's how I knew it was a dream.
The strange part about this is that
> *I was very attracted to her, not physically but spiritually, and she
> *told me about really neat things that sparked my intellectual
> *curiosity as well.
CROW: Things like "Women are built differently than men."
I had the feeling that she was not from around
> *here, and I noticed that she had two ears on each side of her head.
MIKE: That's a tipoff.
> *One was in the correct spot, the other was just behind it that
> *wrapped all the way around her first, so it wasn't like a second ear,
> *but an extension of the one.
MIKE: 'Round Wisconsin, we call that "headphones."
I know that I have never even
> *contemplated this idea. Anyway, when I noticed this strange fact, I
> *said, "I didn't think that you were human," and I can't remember
> *anything past that point.
TOM: That's when she phasered me on heavy stun.
Another quirky thing about her is that
> *she had the ability to move space-time. She could push me around
> *with the force of her will, but it wasn't that she was controlling
> *ME, she was controlling the substance AROUND me. Do you have the
> *knowledge of any alien race or other explanation for her?
MIKE: Pushing you around, controlling you, controlling everything around
you? Sounds like a normal human woman to me.
>
> JW I don't know of any alien race like that but the spiritual
> people can make themselves appear in anyway they so choose. They
> call them shape-shifters. Some are good and some are not.
CROW: Oh, thanks for the helpful information.
>
>
>
> * I have a lot of questions for you, but I know that you are a busy
> *man, so the rest can wait. I have always had the feeling that things
> *are not as they appear to be.
TOM: I consider the "X-Files" a documentary.
>
> JW That is correct. Some people call it Maya.
MIKE: Others call it Doreen.
We sort of live in
> a dream state. Actually we live in a trillions of years old hologram.
> If you know how and are given the way to control it then you can
> do things that most people would consider to be miracles.
CROW: Of course, even though I have this knowledge I continue to spend
most of my time alone at my computer.
>
>
> * This feeling is reinforced by nearly every religious theology the
> *world over, from Hinduism to Buddhism to Chr-stianity to the Yaqui
> *shamanistic ways. This feeling is what prompts me to piece
> *everything together. Although my passion is in all that I do, I
> *have a difficult time figuring out where to get my information.
TOM: CNBC?
CROW: The Industry Standard?
MIKE: The St. Ansgar, Iowa "Enterprise Journal?"
>
>
> JW The way that you get guidance is to ask the space and spiritual
> people to direct you.
MIKE: Or just go to Triple-A and get a triptych before you leave.
Here is how it's done but be careful that
> you are sincere in doing this because if your not the test that they
> put you through will nearly scare you to death.
CROW: Is that the test that involves Dom DeLuise?
TOM: Or the test involving the Cross-Bronx Expressway?
MIKE: Or the test involving puberty?
TOM: Excuse me?
MIKE: Oh, nothing. Nothing. Never mind.
First of all mentally
> or say out loud that you want the space people, spiritual people
> or your guardian angel to give you a sign that they are there. They
> then will do something to show you that they are around you but it
> may take a while for this to happen.
TOM: I'm sorry, all of our astral operators are busy assisting other
mortals. Please continue to hold and your verbalized or unspoken desire
to contact us will be answered in the order in which it was received.
Next just go in a library and
> pass you hands over the all the books and you will get a feeling when
> you get to the book that contains the information that you need.
CROW: "Valley of the Dolls."
TOM: "Chicken Soup for the Droid's Soul."
MIKE: "Tantra for Dummies."
You
> may be led to a certain person who will become your teacher and tell
> you what you need to know. After they put you through a few test
> and you pass they will start working with you.
CROW: Sounds suspiciously like enlisting in the Marine Corps to me.
>
> * I spend hours and hours surfing the net to find things, and that is
> *like waiting for the last drop of honey to come out of the bottle.
> *I get the honey, but man is it a lot of work. There is so much cr-p
TOM: Well, there's your first mistake. Nobody ever actually *found*
anything online, they just happened to get distracted by something
potentially more useful or interesting.
CROW: Like all of those pictures of Alyssa Milano?
>
> JW First of all you should stop using derogatory words to explain
> things.
MIKE: If you can't say anything nice...
CROW: You're probably reading Winston.
I have done experiments on TV with a friend of mine who has
> invented a combination computer and projection system that will
> project living pictures of the aura.
TOM: Unfortunately, he's being sued by the Motion Picture Association of
America and the Recording Industry Association of America, not to mention
the Church of Scientology and the American Medical Association.
When a person thinks a
> derogatory word it shows up in the person's aura. Thoughts of true
> love show up a certain color
MIKE: Or so we think, we haven't found anybody in true love yet.
TOM: Yeah, the ROUS packs got 'em.
and lust shows up another color.
CROW: This, we have evidence for.
TOM: Explains that strange glow around the White House.
MIKE: And the lack of a glow from Chappaqua, New York.
When
> you use derogatory words that is what will come to you and that is
> what you will find. In your former questions to me you used the
> word hype in relation to the New Age.
CROW: No, the word we used was...
MIKE: Crow! We don't want Dr. Neylon to have to send us to the Land of
Misfit Fics, so watch your language.
If that is what you are
> thinking about the subject that is what you will find. Just make
> the request that you be led in such a way that you will receive
> truth that will will help you and the Omiverse. Remember I'm far
> from perfect but at least I'm trying.
TOM: And Marlon Brando is far from svelte.
>
> *on the internet that has no relevance to anything. Can you give me
> *any vital info, or tell me where I can find a good place to look?
CROW: www.gullible-dweebs.com?
>
>
> JW Look within your own self and your higher self will direct you.
TOM: Toward the Twinkies, Doritos and Pink Floyd albums.
>
> *Thank you, again, so much,
>
> JW I is my pleasure to be of assistance.
MIKE: [Singing] I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all
together...
>
> C
TOM: Grading on a curve, I see.
>
> Part 2.
>
> John Winston. john...@mlode.com
CROW: Proudly shoveling New Age twaddle onto the Net from Tuolumne County,
California since 1994.
[1...2...3...4...5...6...SoL Bridge]
[The bridge is crowded with small aliens of the traditional Whitley Streiber
model, maybe two feet tall apiece. As MIKE & THE BOTS enter, the aliens get
agitated and take up perches on the walls, counter and other areas, leaving
a clear space in the middle of the room.]
TOM: They *do* exist! They're here to give us knowledge! Oh, mighty visitors,
show us the way to total knowledge!
CROW: I don't know that they look all that intelligent, Tom. They seem to be
waiting for something, anyway.
MIKE: Hey, look, that one's wearing a little cowboy hat.
[The cowboy alien walks up on the counter and motions MIKE closer. As he leans
in, the alien throws a silver cord lasso around MIKE's neck and jumps up on
MIKE's back as if he's riding a bull. Loud country and western music begins to
play as MIKE gyrates around the room.]
CROW: You idiot, Servo, they're not hyperintelligent beings, they're rodeo fans!
TOM: You do have to admit that he's riding Mike extremely well.
CROW: Ah! Look out! Here come some calf-ropers!
[PLANET. CREDITS.]
Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations
are trademarks of and (c) Best Brains, Inc. All rights reserved. Use of
copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment purposes only;
no infringement on the original copyrights or trademarks held by Best
Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.
> After reading you questions for the day I went to sleep and was
> given a replay of practically everything that I had learned in this
> lifetime after coming in contact with the space people.
*twang*
Produced with utter contempt for the Sci-Fi Channel.
-end-
John C. Mozena [=-=+=-=] m...@mich.com [=-=+=-=] http://www.mich.com/~moz/
Co-founder and PR Droid, Coalition Against Unsolicited Commercial E-Mail
Fight spam, join CAUCE | "There is no reason anyone would want a computer
<http://www.cauce.org> | in their home." -- Ken Olsen, DEC founder, 1977