MSTed: Some anime' guy's screed

[Jess Nevins]

(feel free to post this to the newsgroup it originally
appeared on - I don't remember where it came from)

Re: ANIME fans are RESPONSIBLE for its decline- PARTLY and
GREED and American WAY..

Tom: SOME of us FEEL the need to TALK at VARIABLE
volumes so WE can make our POINTS through NOISE rather than
REASON.

On Fri, 14 Nov 1997 16:01:38 GMT,

Crow (voice-over voice): A date that will live in infamy!

r...@colba.net (ryb) wrote:

Mike: I think that's being mighty generous with your
language; I'd say "(ryb) rambled" is more accurate.

I ponder

Tom: Weak and weary, over many a quaint and curious
video of ultra-violent animated porn?

if the worst ennemies

Crow: Ennemies? Isn't that, like, a polyp with tentacles?
Mike: You're thinking of a sea anemone.
Tom: Actually, I was thinking of ryb.
Crow: Primitive plant...tentacles...smells funny...yup, that's
r...@colba.net.

of ANIMES

Mike (pathetic junior high-school geek voice): Get it? I
made a rhyme - enemies of Animes - get it? Heh!

are not the overtly zealous fans themselves...

Tom: Yes, the problem with anime is the people who buy
them; if nobody bought any more anime, we'd have no problem.

-You have those that want to keep it secluded,

Crow: Because they're ashamed of the women-like-rape
messages.
Tom: As they should be.

a sort of a college/universitything

Mike: A college/university thing?
Tom: You know - James Arness, PhD.

where only the enlightened need to apply

Tom: Sort of like working at the video store ryb works at; if
you don't know the genius of Rocky Jones and Winky, you're not
fit to work there.

-You have the quick buck schemer/artists that sell tapes of dubious
quality

Crow: You mean everybody on the rec.arts.*.marketplace
groups?

-You have the purists that only want to see them in and available in
Japanese

Mike: Which is so lame, since we all know what a *fine*
job of subtitling they usually do.

-You have the fan possessed(maybe the devil or evil spirit ismaking
them do it ?)

Tom: Mike, what country is ryb from?
Mike: Cloud-cuckoo land, my friend.

who exhibit pathological pesonality disorders

Crow: Something ryb here is intimately familiar with.

(best example-in the Sailor Moon alt groups-some are really scary)

Mike: Oh pot, cries the kettle, thou art black as night!

-Youhave the liberals that are sayig-let us go slowly here,as the
american public is not really ready,so best keep it uner th wapsand
yes,censorship is acceptable so that we can see some trashed
version oftheir favorite anime

Tom: Does ryg know about the spell-checker?
Crow: I think some traumatic event in his childhood
probably made the word "dictionary" too frightening for him to think
about.

-You have thereligious bigots that equate animes=devil,especially in
the US and bible-belt areas of Canada

Crow: But enough about the Republican party.
Tom: Poom!

-You have the crazyfans that will dish up any amount of $$$ to see
thir favorite anime,

Mike: And this is bad for anime because....?

like spending $20 or more for a 25 min episode-

Tom: Isn't that what they normally cost?

they inist it is still a bargain..even if their favorite series has
+50 episodes,etc...

Crow: Hey, you guys - did you know that the entire first
season of _Star Blazers_ is available for $159.95?
Mike: Uh, Crow, aren't they running that on the Cartoon
Network?
Crow: Yeah, but this comes with the original boxes! I mean,
it's in Japanese, and I can't read it, but it's still so cool!
Tom (to Mike): I think Crow's one of those scary anime
fans ryb was talking about.
Crow: I am not! Just ‘cause I know how cool La Blue Girl
is and you don't doesn't mean I'm a geek!

-You have the collectioners-those that are obsessed,

Mike: Anime fans - obsessed? Say it ain't so!

a bit likethe fans of Elvis

Tom: Yeah! They're *so* unfair to the Attractions!

(the pelvis,the King,whatever)

Crow: Uh....the parts of his body that Marlon Brando hasn't
seen in 30 years? Pass, pass!
Tom: Um...random unconnected words that should be
separated by a space after the comma? Pass, pass!

and the geeedy oens too-let'smake a buck here...

Mike: I'm trying to parse this sentence, but it's just not
working.
Tom: Think of it as a haiku.

You havethe ordinarily anime fans that

Tom: Are still living in their parents' basement at age 30?

likewatching it butin

Crow: They like watching buttons?

no hurry to pay anything-the el cheapo guy-

Mike: Larry King is an anime fan?

most seem to be follow the ledear

Tom: I had ledear once - but a good alcohol wash cleared it
up.

type-if another fad next year,they will jump aboard-the sheep
mentality is very strong amongst the N.American youth-

Crow: Actually, most North American youths have a
healthy and functioning sexuality; it's only the reclusive unwashed
antisocial nerds like ryb here who have the jump-aboard-the-sheep
mentality.

to do soemthing in groups,gangs,etc..to be "in"...

Mike: So _that's_ who Bryan Ferry was singing about.

You have finally different peoplethat are sickof Disney

Tom: You mean everybody.

like cartoonsand want to see something different but to wither
extent?

Crow: I withered my extent once, but some shots took--
Tom: I did that joke, Crow.

There lies the crux of the problem...

Mike: What, you mean bad writing?
Tom: I think he was talking about anime, not the previous
sentence.

Can conservative America watch sometingthat clashes with their
beliefs ?

Tom: Lord knows *that* never happens with network
television.

That make them think ?

Crow: That make them write good grammar stuff in them
sentences?

That make them realize that besides the US good things arebeing
done elsewhere ?

Mike: Oh, yeah, those French sex comedies are *really*
avant-garde.
Tom: C'mon, Mike, some of the Japanese anime are really
well-done.
Crow: If you ignore the homophobic and sexist Japanese
news shows, maybe.

So far,animes on mainstream TV is a constant struggle it would
appear..

Tom: Except for that time they showed Urotsokidoji on the
Disney Sunday Night Hour.

Why has not a Network like FOX pick up a series that was for
grabslike MKRayearth ?

Crow: They did, but they called it MKRayEarth 2, and
everybody hated it, because it was really lame.

Or El Hazard ?

Mike: Those Mexican wrestlers sure have goofy names.

Or Cutey Honey -F ?

Tom: Which, not coincidentally, is the grade that the series'
animation got.

Or Dragon Ball GT ?

Crow: Y'know, I had dragon ball gt once, but I--
Tom: ENOUGH, Crow!

Instead,waht you have are moronic fans

Mike: Everybody else except ryb, is what he's saying.

upping the ante-willing to pay big $$$ for El Hazard,episode
byepisode,etc..(or similar series-likeSailorMoon-people areliterally
obnibulated

Tom bursts out laughing.
Crow: (Grady voice) Mr Sanford, I gots to agree with
Lamont - you's all obnibulated!

by this average anime series(the manga is quite good,if you have a
chance do read it)

Crow: Oh, I'm sorry, I'll be busy rearranging my dust
bunnies that night.

thus inciting Japanese companies to

Mike: Buy up more American property and sexually harass
their female employees.

demand outrageous prices and greedy distributors whodonot see
animes they see ,hear and dream of $$$

Tom: Thus proving that corporate scum are the same,
regardless of race, creed, color or sex.

everytimetheword anime is pronounced..

Crow: Funny, when I hear the word "anime" pronounced, I
see, hear and dream about pimply, fat, unwashed 30-year-olds
who've never been kissed.

Their rationale being-

Mike: Let's charge what the market will bear.
Tom: HERETIC!
Crow: Blasphemy!
Tom: There you go, spouting that capitalist propaganda
again!
Crow: Obviously another product of the _Economist_
brainwashing machine.

a sucker is born everytiem one get hooked on animes,so we will
chargethem extra $$$ and will getit too..

Mike: I think I know which newsgroup Jim Theis went to
when he finished up _The Eye of Argon_.

So,if the fans out there had more brain cells

Tom: They'd be watching something else.

instead of just anime cels maybe the prices of soemof the series
would go down and more affordable and more fans in the end and
picked up by TV networks..

Crow: And maybe the King of Yum-Yum Land will take me
away and make me Lord of the Mushroom People...

One way is to demand from TV satellitecompany that they make
available Japanese TV

Mike: Yup, every cable tv company I've ever heard of
would give in to that demand right away.

so oen coudl at least see soem animes,

Tom: I think I'd rather watch my own high colonic on the
Surgery Channel than this guy's idea of good anime.

even if in Japanese-as the technology is improving,not too far away
we an have automatic translators,

Crow (enthusiastic junior high geek voice): And then I'll get
a full-body virtual reality suit and I'll get to be captain of the
Starship Enterprise all by myself and prove to everyone that they
should have cast me as Captain Picard and not that stupid English
guy....

a bit like we now have for soem pc programs

Mike: Actually, the Stanford University English program
doesn't provide any translation.

and as web TV is becoming a reality,

Tom: Quite like hemorrhoids are a reality.

hence...So,if I could cnenct this gizmo

Crow: I'd make _Gremlins 3_.

or via software to my satellite TV

Mike: Great - triple-X cd-rom games on a wall-sized tv -
the future is now.

and get roughly a 75 % accuracy ofwhat is beingsaid on TV

Tom: We already get a 75% accuracy rate of what's being
said on TV - we watch the CBS Evening News.

+a a

Crow: Is that like the earliest computer language?
Tom: I thought it was Tea Leoni's cup-size, myself.

certain knowledgeof Japanese,etc..

Mike: You couldn't, I don't know, go out and learn
Japanese for yourself, could you?
Tom: No, he's too busy downloading .gifs from
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.anime.

I would no longer need Greedy companies decing for me what I am
going topay or see..

Tom: But the US economy would fall apart without
Microsoft!

Yours,ryb...

Crow: He's not *my* ryb! You take that back!