[MISTING] "The Force" part 2 of 2

[zhir...@my-deja.com]

>
> I landed the Fallen Star in Mos Eisley Spaceport. I followed Wes out
of the
> ship and into Mos Eisley Cantina. Wes said he knew where to look for
Jorda
> so I followed him with Jaina while the others watched over the ship.
The
> Cantina was a noisy place. The Band played a lively beat and the
place was
> crowded. The three of us split up to find info on Jorda.
> I was walking around when a Rodian confronted me and said, "Are you
Jeron
> Silverblade?" I said, "Yes, why?" The Rodian took out a blaster and
started
> to fire shots in my face.
>
TOM: (Jeron): I became horribly disfigured, forced to wear a mask and
haunt
ancient theatres...
>
> Using the Force, I dodged the shots, took out my lightsaber and
struck him
> down.
>
MIKE: R.I.P., Greedo Jr.
>
> "What was that all about?" Jaina questioned.
> "A bounty hunter who probably wanted the bounty on my head. Come on.
Not
> like we'll find anything in here." I tossed some credits to the
bartender.
> "Sorry about the mess."
>
TOM: What an original line.
>
> I walked out of the cantina as fast as I could. Then, I felt a
blaster
> point on my back. "You want to stay alive for a while, you do what I
say,"
> said the voice behind me, "Head to the speeder bike in front of you."
I was
> taking no chances as I went to the bike and got on. "Now, drive and
don't
> stop until I say so."
>
MIKE (Elwood): It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of
gas, half
a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.
CROW (Jake): Hit it!
>
> I did what he said as we went out of Mos Eisley Spaceport, across the
Dune
> Sea and into the Jundland Wastes. "Stop" he shouted. The speeder
slowed
> down as the person kicked me onto the desert floor. I fell in front
of a
> ship. I turned around to see a man dressed in a Mandalore battle
suit. Boba
> Fett!
>
CROW: Kevin's Law- Any character that can be included, will be
included.
>
> "What do you want me for, bounty hunter.
>
TOM (Fett): The bounty. Duh.
>
> My bounty is only 5,000 credits."
> "Ha!", Fett shouted, "you mean five million credits. Where have you
been?"
>
TOM: Who would pay 5 million credits for THIS guy?
CROW: To watch him die?
TOM: ... nevermind.
>
> "You won't claim this bounty, Fett," a voice shouted.
> "Wes!", I shouted. But Boba Fett snored
>
MIKE: Talk about your quick naps...
>
> and said, "Wes? You mean Dash Rendar. Still alive all these years."
Dash?
> Was that his real name?
> "It seems we have some unfinished business, Fett."
>
TOM (Wes/Dash): You owe me 5 bucks!
>
> "Yes, let us be done with it!"
> I watched them fire blaster shots at each other. I was too tired and
too weak
> to move.
>
TOM: From what? All you did was ride a speeder bike and chop up some
stupid
Rodian.
>
> As I watched the battle, I noticed that Jaina was coming to pick me
up in a
> speeder bike. "Hop on", she said
>
TOM (Jaina): Help our friend? Nah, let's just run!
>
> but I was distracted by the fight.
> Dash started to hit Fett hard with his blaster and dodging Fett's
shots. But
> Fett's armor protected him from the blaster shots. The bounty hunter
fired
> more shots which severely wounded Dash. "Aaaahhhh", Dash shouted.
Jaina and
> I ran to Dash Rendar who was in serious pain. "You're mine," mumbled
Boba
> Fett as he prepared to fire at Dash. I took out my lightsaber to
deflect
> Fett's shots.
>
TOM: What happened to "too tired"?
>
> "Jaina," I shouted, "Get Dash out of here! I'll take care of Fett
myself."
> Jaina did what I said as she and Dash drove out of sight.
> "I'll finally finish what I came for, Jedi!" Boba Fett fired shots
from his
> blaster but I deflected all of them.
>
CROW [monotone]: Yay.
>
> Using only one blade, I sliced his blaster.
>
CROW [monotone]: Yay.
>
> He tried to bring another one out but I destroyed that too.
>
CROW [monotone]: Yay.
>
> Desperate to escape, Fett ignited his jet pack. I swiftly swung my
saber
> and blew up the pack.
>
CROW [monotone]: Yay.
MIKE: OK, enough.
>
> Fett fell to the floor as I pointed my saber toward his neck.
> "Finish me Jedi!" Fett was left defenseless on the floor. I wanted to
so
> badly to kill him but I couldn't.
>
TOM (Jeron): Because then the author would have to admit that he's a
BAAAAAD boy.
>
> "No," as I turned off the lightsaber, "You're not worth it. Let's
just say
> you owe me one." Before Fett could speak, I ran to his speeder and
flew out
> of his sight.
> "How you doing Dash?", I said to Rendar when he came out of his bacta
> treatment on the Republic's base on Tatooine.
> "I'm fine", Rendar said, "Thanks again for what you did back there.
You're
> going to be a great Jedi some day, kid."
> "We still have a Hutt to fry you know,"
>
ALL: Eeww...
MIKE: That must be really high in saturated fat.
>
> Jacen said, "Did you find any information about Jorda?"
> "I did", said Dash, "A translator droid who used to work for Jorda
said
> his Palace is on Sevarcos, a former Imperial prison planet. The
building
> floor plans are on this data file." Dash handed the disk to Shannon.
> Then, Dash held his body in pain, "You guys have to go without me.
I'm no
> use to you like this. I feel like a wallowing Hutt. Take the disk and
stop
> Jorda. I'll be fine here. Now, go." All of us said goodbye to Dash as
we
> left the room. I was the last one out. "Jeron," said Dash.
> "Yeah, Dash"
>
MIKE: (Dash): Your fly is undone.
TOM: "Jeron, I am your father."
CROW: (Dash): I just wanted you to know that... that... I love you...
TOM: Crow!!
MIKE: (Jeron): I'll return to you, my love!
TOM: Mike!?
CROW: Near... Far.... WhereEEEEVER you are...
>
> "May the Force be with you."
> I sat in the cockpit as I watched the planet of Tatooine. I saw it's
two suns
> which made the planet a desert and wondered if Dash was okay. "He'll
be
> okay." I turned to see Jaina. "Trust me. He'll be okay."
>
MIKE: [Jeron] Then why is he not breathing?
>
> "I know, I know," I said, "Those two Jedi Master Skywalker was talking
> about, who were they?"
> Jaina paused for a moment. She said, "The two on that mission were
close
> friends of ours. One of them was Tenel Ka, princess of the Hapes
system.
> She has one arm due to an accident constructing a lightsaber.
>
CROW (Jaina): At least, that's what she'll say if she knows what's
good
for her.
>
> The other is named Zekk.
>
TOM: From God to Kane to Zekk.
>
> He was one of the best Jedi Knights and pilots in the Massassi
temple. When
> they left for the mission, we thought they would be successful,"
Jaina began
> to cry, "but after three months, we knew they didn't make it."
>
MIKE: Or maybe they just skipped off to Risa after the mission, we're
not
sure.
>
> Suddenly, Jacen and Voorson burst into the cockpit. "Jorda's
fighters,"
> panted Jacen, "They're back. Only this time, there's fleets of
A-Wings,
> TIE- Phantoms, TIE-bombers and T-95 Headhunters on our tail."
>
MIKE: TIE-gers and lions and bears, oh my!
>
> Then, Shannon added, "I don't know how good a pilot you are but
there
> is no way your ship can maneuver those fighters." All of a sudden I
thought
> it was all over. My ship was doomed. Then, there came an in coming
message
> to the Fallen Star.
> The four of us feared the worse as I leaned over the telecomm and
said,
> "Fallen Star, who's this?"
>
TOM: [voice on phone] Do you like scary movies?
>
> "Nice to see you again, Jeron."
> "Who's this?"
> "This is the Wild Karrade and Talon Karrade at your service.
>
CROW: Wow, again, extremely timely. It's like these guys have a
script or
something.
>
> I'm accompanied by Lando Calrissan in the Lady Luck, the Rogue
Squadron and
> General Bel Ibis.
>
TOM: So we've got a freighter, a private yacht, one fighter squadron,
and a
General in a space suit. Wow, what reinforcements.
>
> Dash said you might need help getting out of Tatooine so we decided
to pay
> a little visit. Why don't you let us handle this while you take down
that
> fat
>
ALL: Horizontally challenged!
>
> Hutt!"
> "Will do, Wild Karrade. Fallen Star out." I piloted the ship away from
the
> dogfight
>
MIKE: Chased by none of the huge fleet of enemies, apparently.
>
> and the ship jumped into hyperspace, heading to Sevarcos.
> The Fallen Star landed into the former Imperial planet secretly.
Lowbecca,
> Jacen, Jaina, Shannon and I came out of the ship while R2 guarded the
ship.
> We snuck away from the ship and made sure no one was following us.
The
> five of us finally reached Jorda's Lookout which looked more like an
> Imperial prison than a palace.
> "Alright," I said, "the place is heavily guarded and their all droids.
>
CROW (Jeron): So all we have to do is go into space and blow up the
droid
control ship. I bags getting to be Anakin.
>
> Remember to be careful. We go in and out. If we are separated, we'll
meet
> at the ship in two hours, got it?"
> Everyone agreed and we headed to the Hutt's base. Equipped with only
our
> lightsabers, a few blasters and the Force, we silently destroyed the
guard
> droids. We headed inside the building, Jaina leading the way. We
slipped
> away from the security systems and the booby traps. We were then
confronted
> with two entrances.
> "This entrance leads to Jorda's chamber," Shannon pointed to the
entrance
> on her left,
>
MIKE (Shannon): See, there's sign above it saying "Jorda's chamber,
not a trap in any way."
>
> "The other leads to the main computer room." Voorson walked to the
> opening on her right when the alarm went off. Lowbecca growled
hysterically
> as I heard troops coming toward me.
>
TOM (Jeron): It's not that funny!
>
> I pushed everyone into the right entrance and said, "You guys find
those Sun
> Crusher plans. I'll draw off their attention." Before they could
object, I
> took my blaster and blasted the panel for the right entrance which
closed
> it shut. As I heard the troops coming, I ran into the left entrance.
I
> didn't know what I was doing but this was suicide!
>
ALL hum the theme to M*A*S*H
>
> The Wookiee kept on banging the door but it was sealed shut. "That guy
is
> crazy," said Jacen, "He's gonna get himself killed!"
>
CROW (Shannon): Better him than us. Who's up for some parchezzi?
>
> "We have to continue our mission, like Jeron said," said Shannon. "The
> computer room is that way." The four remaining people headed straight
up to
> finally reach the room.
>
MIKE (Ender): Remember, the enemy's computer room is UP.
>
> "Here we are," Jacen said. Then a blaster hit above them. They turned
around
> to see Jorda's troops shooting at them.
> "Jacen, Shannon," Jaina said, "You two find those plans. Lowbecca and
I will
> take care of these guys. What are you waiting for? Get going!" Jacen
and
> Shannon left into the computer room. Shannon sat down in front of the
main
> computer.
>
TOM (Shannon): I'd better check my E-mail. Billy said he'd write
today.
>
> "This will take me a while," Shannon said to Jacen, "Guard the door."
As he
> watched, Shannon worked endlessly to get in. Finally, she said, "I
got it."
>
TOM: THRILL to the dramatic tension as Shannon tries to break in to
the
computer system!
>
> **Self-destruct activated. The building will explode in 45 minutes .
Have a
> nice day.**
> "Can't you stop this," shouted Jacen. Shannon shook her head. "Then,
run!"
> They rushed out of the room. Outside, the floor was lined with droids
> everywhere.
>
TOM: The interior decorator was thinking of a fish motif, but Jorda
thought
droids would look better.
>
> Before Lowbecca and Jaina could speak, Shannon yelled, "The place is
going
> to blow." The four rushed out of the place as fast as they could as
the
> building was about to explode.
> I rushed through the hall as fast as I could, firing every so often.
The
> droids were right behind me. They chased me endlessly, never growing
tired.
> There seemed to be no escape. Finally, I found a opening to slip into
to
> avoid the droid troopers. I leaned on the wall as the droids ran past
the
> opening. I was about to leave when the opening was suddenly sealed
shut.
> Great! "I have been expecting you, Jeron." I turned around to see a
large
> Hutt, accompanied by two tall, red Imperial bodyguards. This must be
Jorda's
> chamber. The room was dark and the only source of air or light was a
window
> overseeing the planet.
>
TOM: A window oversees the entire planet?
>
> Behind Jorda was a wide, black curtain.
>
TOM: And when Jorda disappears with the princess, you cut down the
curtain
> with a sword to reveal a stairway.
>
> "Welcome, Jeron. Its good to see you. I hope my droids didn't give you
much
> trouble.'
> "What the heck you want, Hutt?"
>
MIKE: Heck?
CROW: Jeron almost said a bad word.
TOM: That Jorda the Hutt must be shaking in his boots.
>
> "A battle with my Crimson Jedi"
>
MIKE (Jorda): Even though they're on my side!
CROW (Jeron): So where do I come in?
MIKE (Jorda): You already HAVE come in- through that opening behind
you.
>
> "Why? I have no reason to battle you."
>
TOM: Aside from him being the evil hutt Dark Jedi who's trying to
take over
the galaxy and kill all your friends?
>
> "Oh, really!' The curtain behind Jorda unfolded and chain against the
wall
> was Zekk and Tenel Ka. "Recognize them Jedi."
>
MIKE: I doubt it. He'd never heard of them 'til an hour ago.
>
> The Hutt laughed hysterically. I knew I had no choice but to fight.
> "Alright, Hutt," I said, "If I win, you let my friends go, alive."
"And if
> you lose," replied the Hutt, "you're dead!"
> "Good enough for me," I answered.
> One of the Crimson Jedi walked towards me, switching on a long, red
energy
> blade.
>
MIKE: Also called a lightsaber
>
> I slipped out my double bladed saber. Sweat dropped down my forehead
as the
> Jedi prepared to attack. The Jedi struck first which was easily
blocked.
> The Force flowed through me as I stroke the saber against the Crimson
> Jedi's saber. The Jedi seemed to never grow tired, stroke after
stroke.
> Suddenly the other Crimson Jedi stepped forth in a rapid speed. In a
split
> second, I switched on the other blade and deflected the other Jedi's
attack.
> Stroke after stroke, the two continued to attack as I dodged and
deflected
> each strike. The Jedi's never broke a sweat as I was growing tiresome
of
> this battle. I soon dodged away from the two Crimson Jedi.
> "You show great skill Jedi, you with your unique saber.
>
TOM: Well, unique if he's destroyed Darth Maul's one.
>
> But, all good things must come to an end. Finish him." All of a
sudden,
> I heard a blaster shot, and one of the crimson Jedi fell to the
floor.
>
MIKE (Mighty Mouse): Here I come to save the day!
>
> Before the other could respond, I sliced him down with my saber. They
were
> droids. I turn to see who shot the blaster. In the window was a
bounty
> hunter wearing a Mandalore battle suit. Boba Fett!
>
CROW: Boba Fett just happened to come here from Tatooine, right?
>
> "Consider my debt repaid," he said. Boba Fett then flew away.
>
MIKE: Well, that was pointless...
CROW: Cool costume and minimum lines- at least Kevin's got one thing
right
about Fett.
>
> "This is an outrage!" shouted Jorda, "I will not tolerateà.." But
before he
> could continue, I sliced down the curtain over the fat Hutt. I
released the
> two prisoners when I sensed something wrong in the Force. I realized
this
> place would blow up soon.
>
MIKE: Force, or droid annoucning "5 minutes to self-destruct!"?
Kevin
chooses Force every time!
>
> I dragged the two away from Jorda's chamber. I was still weak from
the
> fight and couldn't drag them out of the place in time. I tried to
figure
> out what to do. Suddenly, it came to me.
>
TOM (Jeron): I dumped them and ran like hell!
>
> I dragged the two to Jorda's landing port where there was a small
freighter
> ship. It was Zekk's ship, the Lightning Rod.
>
TOM: Amazing how he recognized a ship he's never seen before.
>
> I dragged the two into the ship and loaded up the controls. I sensed
there
> was little time.
>
MIKE: But with what? Spidey Sense? Give us the details!
>
> I took off as fast as I could. I heard the former Imperial prison
blow up.
> I sighed in relief. I landed the freighter near my ship and came out.
>
MIKE: I'm confused. Where is he now?
TOM: Jupiter.
MIKE: Really? I didn't know Tatooine was that close to Jupiter.
TOM: You know, Mike, there's the word, "gullible" written on the
ceiling.
MIKE: [looks up]
>
> I saw my friends come to me but before I could greet them, I
collapsed on
> the floor.
>
TOM: (Jeron): I tried to use variety in my speech, but I could only
start
sentences with "I".
>
> When I opened my eyes again, I found myself on a medic bed, healing
from
> Bacta Tank treatments. I heard cheers of joy around me. It seemed
that
> everyone was there. Jaina, Jacen, Lowbecca, Dash, Shannon, Luke, and
many
> others from the mission. I was greeted and congratulated by all of
the
> them. Then, the medic droid, 21B said, "I would like for everyone to
> leave.
>
[CROW stands up]
MIKE: Not us.
>
> The patient needs to rest."
> Everyone started to leave the room. Luke came to my bed. "What do you
plan
> to do after you get out of here?'
> "I guess I'll return to the Academy," I replied.
>
CROW (Jeron): Giving out Oscars is a blast!
>
> "Strange, I was about to tell you not to return to the Academy," Luke
said.
> "Was I that bad of a student?", I joked.
>
ALL (Luke): Yes.
>
> "No," Luke replied, "its just that you have already completed your
training.
> You are now an official Jedi Kn.. uhà I mean Sentinel.
>
CROW: Uha, I mean Author Avatar Demigod.
>
> Oh! Here's something else for you," as he handed me a large, box. I
> opened it. It was a Jedi sentinel helmet. "Try it on." I tried it on.
> I felt the Force flow through my mind. I was a energizing experience.
> "Wow!" I said.
>
TOM: [Jeron] I can't believe it's not butter!
>
> "I knew you'd like it," said Skywalker, "Maybe if you do come back to
the
> Academy, you can help me find some more Jedi Sentinels but its your
> decision. I guess I'll leave you now."
> As Master Skywalker left, I thought of what my future held and what
> adventures I would face.
>
ALL think for a moment.
ALL: Aieeeeeee!
>
> Whatever it was, I knew that there would be one thing that would
always
> protect me from harms way.
>
MIKE: His pet wampa!
CROW: His Bible!
TOM: His sock collection!
CROW: His autographed picture of Kim Catrall!
TOM: His idol of Baal!
MIKE: And...
ALL: The Author!
>
> "The Force."
>
CROW: That too!
MIKE: Let's get out of here!
>

----

"Mystery Science Theater 3000" and related characters and situations
are trademark of and copyright Best Brains, Inc. All rights reserved.

"Star Wars" and its related characters and situations are
trademarks of and copyright by Lucasfilms and/or Twentieth
Century Fox. All rights reserved.

All reasonable attempts were made to contact the author of the
original piece of this work prior to MSTing, including mailing him
and maintainers of the archive where we found it. This MSTing does
not affect Kevin Mak's copyright on the original work.

All abuse, helpful comments, etc. can be directed to zhi...@usa.net
or to the denizens of www.swstory.com (clearly marked, so the ones
not responsible don't think the abuse is aimed at them).

---

> "We have been asked by the New Republic to fly a mission to steal back
> construction plans for the Sun Crusher from the Dark Jedi Jorda the
Hutt."

Sent via Deja.com
http://www.deja.com/