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MiSTed: "The Sorceress of Cyba-3" (2/6)

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Jen White6

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Nov 16, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/16/98
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MiSTed: The Sorceress of Cyba-3
Part 2 of 6

By JenW...@aol.com and MsSc...@hotmail.com
Original story by Don R. Christensen

>
>
>
> CHAPTER 3

Brak: [The Count] Three! Three chapters! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
[Lightning flashes a little too close for comfort. All look at Brak,
annoyed.]
Metallus: Shut up, Brak.

> A WARNING TO JAN
>
> Millions of miles melted away.

Moltar: Meanwhile, Moltar and Metallus mutter malevolently.
Brak: And many mice make midnight music to the moon. Mighty nice.

> Yet several hours still remained
> before the Phantom Cruiser would reach the distant Cyba group of the
> Flarex Galaxy.

Brak: I know what Flarex is. It's really stretchy cloth.
Widow: That's *Spandex.*
Brak: Then is it something you use when, um, it hurts to sit down?
Zorak: Clam up, Brak.

> In the small lounge, just forward of the sleeping compartments,
> Queen Satanari told of her hopes and plans. Jan, Jace, and Space Ghost
> listened silently.

Zorak: [Space Ghost] Jeez, does this broad ever shut up?!

> As he listened, Jace overflowed with ideas. He was all for landing
> and infiltrating the enemy ranks as they had done in their rescue of the
> Tarlish Sage from the great Hole City of Neg.

Zorak: Huh?
Moltar: Anyone know about that one?
Metallus: I haven't heard of a "Tarlish Sage".
Brak: Me neither.
Widow: He's making this up as he goes along.

> However, both Space Ghost
> and Queen Satanari quickly pointed out that this situation was much
> different. In fact, the queen would not even consider any plan that
> exposed them to danger.

Zorak: Typical woman, going all soft and squishy.
Widow: And do you have a problem with that?
Zorak: Nah, I like soft and squishy. [smacks mandibles together]
DEE-lish!

> "Nothing can be accomplished by either direct or indirect attack at
> this time," she declared.

Brak: [Satanari] So should we go for indirectly direct or, um,
directly indirect?

> When her remark caused both Space Ghost and Jace to stare in silent
> question, she explained.
> "I want only to be placed upon the soil of my land again, secretly,

Brak: Her land is strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

> so that I can move among my people without danger and gather strength for
> a future day when the tyrant Imitators can be crushed."

Metallus: Why wait? Do the crushing now!
Brak: But that would be directly direct. She said they can't do that.

> She smiled grimly. "Then I may call upon you for help. But for now
> I will not make any other claim upon you."

Widow: [Satanari] I claim this Space Ghost to be my manservant!
Zorak: Ewwww.

> Jace's eyes filled with admiration. Space Ghost nodded.

Moltar: -off.

> Now the softly glowing ball of the planet Cyba-3 was in sight. It
> swiftly grew larger.

Brak: Hey, lookee! It's a giant balloon! They're having a party!
Zorak: [Space Ghost] No, dumbbell, it's a planet we're about to hit!
[makes crashing sounds]

> Only a small portion of it was in daylight, because
> the rays of its sun were intercepted by other planets of the Cyba group
> in a continuing pattern of eclipses.

Brak: [Cybans] Aaaaah! A dragon's eating the sun! Another dragon's
eating the sun! *Another* dragon's eating the sun! AAAAAAHHHH!

> "Ours is a planet of night shadows," said Queen Satanari

Zorak: Figgers that she comes from a shady place.

> as the
> Phantom Cruiser, still invisible because of its tremendous speed,

Metallus: NOT because it was using its *inviso field.*

> swept
> down into a darkly cloaked valley which she had pointed out as a
> favorable landing site.

Zorak: [Satanari] Right there by the jungle gym's okay. Don't worry
about those kids.

> At a slower approach speed the space cruiser suddenly regained its
> visible form. Suddenly, from a high bluff overlooking the valley, a
> battery of silent guns flashed out a volley of slashing rays that looked
> like unleashed lightning.

Brak: Don't they know this system has a leash law for lightning?

> They battered the air around the ship but
> scored no direct hit.

Moltar: Universal Truth Number 45: The bad guys can never hit the broad
side of a barn.
[Everyone glares at Moltar]
Moltar: Well, it's true.

> "Secure your belts," cried Space Ghost.

Zorak: [Space Ghost] Waaaaah!

> He swung the ship's nose up
> hard to avoid a blast.

Metallus: The ship's nose was safe. The rest of the ship was destroyed!

> Beyond the reach of the silent guns, Space Ghost leveled out the
> ship. "What is there for those guns to guard in that mountain
> wilderness?" he growled.

Moltar: Watch out. He's turning into a werewolf.

> "They are probably stationed everywhere," replied Queen Satanari,
> "to discourage prying visitors. Now you have seen the tyrants in action.
> Now you know the truth of my words."

Moltar: Only tyrants use guns. Gotcha.
Metallus: All they've seen is a little firepower from one set of defense
guns. Does she really expect him to believe this?
Widow: Of course. Men are easily swayed by a nice costume and a pair
of "compelling" eyes.
Zorak: [to Black Widow] Sure leaves *you* outta luck, doesn't it?

> As the great ship groped for a safer landing area Satanari moved to
> a seat beside Jan. "Continue to obey, girl," she whispered.

Brak: [Satanari] Sit up. Speak. [Jan] Woof.

> Jan sobbed, "Please--isn't it nearly over? Take the mark away."

Brak: [Mark] Hey! Don't I get a choice?

> "No. The mark will remain to guarantee my hold upon you," said
> Satanari.

Moltar: [Satanari] And if it doesn't, I still have you in a hammerlock.

> "It will never wash away. So fear it, girl, and be faithful
> to my wishes." A twisted smile flicked briefly over her red lips.

Brak: This is making me feel icky.
Metallus: This is a *new* kind of evil.

> Space Ghost and Jace were well out of earshot,

Widow: In the seats right in front of them.

> so she permitted her
> voice to rise. "Cyba-three will feel my wrath again!" she vowed.

Moltar: [picks up a clipboard] Typical villainous rant... check.
[makes a mark]

>
> When the ship was safely grounded, Space Ghost said, "Better wait
> till we've checked out the immediate area, Your Highness. I'm still not
> sure we should just leave you here."

Brak: [Space Ghost] Hitch-hiking's dangerous, y'know.

> Blip, who had been hiding in a corner of the ship during the ride,
> made frantic efforts to accompany Space Ghost and Jace on their patrol.
> They restrained him, however.

Moltar: Description, anyone? Are we reading an outline now?

> "What's got into him, Space Ghost?" asked Jace curiously.

Moltar: [Space Ghost] What do you think I am, a monkey mindreader?

> They could see Blip scrambling and clawing at the ship's windows.

Brak: [Blip] Hey! Roll the windows down! It's hot in here! I'll
suffocate!

> Queen Satanari ignored Blip's obvious distaste for her company.

Zorak: [Satanari] The monkey doesn't like me. I'm so-o-o-o hurt.

> "They will find no dangers out there," she told Jan. "Those guns
> were mine, by wise prearrangement.

Widow: So, she's the evil tyrant she talked about a moment ago! Idiot,
can't even tell a consistent story.

> Fired by robot-eye sensors, they guard
> my castle within the high mountain. The timid fools of this planet have
> never dared to search it out.

Brak: Um, which ones? The people who live on the planet, or the
imposterers?
Widow: Who cares?

> By trickery they captured me and exiled me
> to space--and by trickery I have returned to have my vengeance."

Moltar: [marking on a clipboard] Faked explanation for earlier events.
Check. Expressing disdain for the enemy. Check. All we need is the "How I
Became Evil" speech and she's got her Villain's License.

> When Space Ghost and Jace returned, Jan decided to speak out.

Widow: Against her poor characterization in this story.
Brak: What?
Zorak: [to Brak] Never mind. Just watch. [to Black Widow] Pick on
someone your own IQ.

> She
> started to tell them what Satanari's return would mean to the people of
> Cyba-3--

Metallus: Satanari should have offed Jan right away.
Widow: No, wait. Look.

> but the first thrust of sharp pain in her palm caused her to
> stop. She could not go on.

Widow: She deserves *some* credit for making the girl her slave, at
least. It's more *original* than just taking her hostage.

> When she stole a glance at the evil queen's mark on her palm, its
> stain seemed to be deeper, brighter, screaming its warning to her.

Zorak: Red rum! Red rum!

> The queen left the ship and the Phantom Cruiser lifted clear of the
> ground. Space Ghost and Jace returned Queen Satanari's farewell wave.

[Brak stands, raises and lowers his hands, then sits.]
Widow: [to Brak] What are you doing?
Brak: The wave.
Metallus: [under his breath] Idiot.

> Jan did not.

Widow: [Satanari] Huh! And after all I did for that girl, I don't
even get a good-bye.

>
>
>

[The pyramid... oh, you know.]

Brak: I got a question.
Zorak: Shoot.
Brak: Jan and Jace wear gloves, don't they? Red gloves?
Zorak: Yeah, so?
Brak: Then how'd Satanari stamp Jan's hand, and why doesn't Jan just
put her glove on so nobody else can see?
[All pause, searching for an answer.]
Brak: I mean, unless she's using magic to keep Jan from putting on her
gloves-
Widow: She *must* be using magic.
Moltar: [sarcastically] The same magic she used to keep everyone in the
cockpit but Jan from hearing her.
Brak: [satisfied] Okay. That coffee gotta be ready by now. [gets up
and goes to the kitchen]
Metallus: Are you *serious*? *MAGIC?*
Zorak: You got a better explanation, rustbucket?
Metallus: Satanari has no plan at all! She keeps changing her story.
Widow: She's good enough to enslave Jan, and make Space Ghost take her
to her planet. Could *you* do that well?
Metallus: I would not rely on human agents at *all*.
[Brak returns with a coffeepot and some dusty cups]
Brak: Come and get it! Sorry, we're outta sugar and cream.
[Brak sets the pot and cups on the table. All but Metallus pour a cup.
When they taste it...]
Widow: [making a disgusted face] Ugh!
Zorak: Pungent, isn't it? [takes another sip] What's that remind me of?
[sniffs at the coffee] Mexican blend?
[Moltar takes a sip with the aid of a straw, which goes through his
breathing grill]
Moltar: Jamaica Blue mountain. After a landslide. It tastes like mud
and sticks.
Zorak: [sniffing] Corn chips? [to Brak] What IS this?
Brak: Just the stuff we had in the kitchen. Maybe it's 'cause we were
outta filters.
Moltar: [looking into his cup] It's not full of grounds.
Brak: I know.
Zorak: So... what *did* you use as a filter?
Brak: My sock. It's all squishy now.
[Black Widow coughs and chokes. Zorak puts his cup down quickly. A strange
sound comes from Moltar. When he speaks, his voice sounds bubbly, as if he
is half submerged]
Moltar: AAAAAGH! I just did a spit-take in my helmet!
Zorak: BWA-HA-HA-HA!
[Moltar fiddles with his breathing grill. Coffee pours out, back into the
cup.
Moltar: Thank goodness for spit valves.
[Everyone else makes little "ugh" noises. The story resumes in the
pyramid.]


> CHAPTER 4
>

Brak: [The Count] Four! Four-
Metallus: [to Brak] Shut up!
Brak: [sotto voce] -chapters. Heh heh.
[Thunder rumbles softly in the distance.]

> DECISIVE RETURN
>

Moltar: That's it! I've made up my mind! I'm going to return! And
none of you can stop me!

> "Why so silent, Jan?" Space Ghost asked as the Phantom Cruiser swept
> swiftly up and away from the darkly shadowed planet.

Zorak: And crashed into one of the planets bouncing around the sky like
a big game of "Asteroids".

> Jace studied her. "You're not worried about Queen Satanari, are
> you, Jan? Not really. You didn't like her, did you?"

Zorak: [Jan] What was your FIRST clue, Captain Oblivious?!

> Jan shook her head vaguely.
> Blip scampered to a perch on Space Ghost's shoulder. The pilot
> pushed him cheerfully away.

Moltar: [Space Ghost, cheerfully] Beat it, fleabag, ya bother me.

> "Here, Jan," said Space Ghost. "You two talk about our strange
> passenger, and Jace and I will get us back on a homeward course."
> Jan reached out to take Blip.

Widow: Here, Jan, talk to the monkey! Hmph!

> "Golly! What's that mark, Sis?" Jace exclaimed when he saw her
> outstretched palm.

Widow: [Jan] Oh, it's just the mark of the devil. Isn't it pretty?

> She waved off his attempt to examine the stained design, which was
> still plainly evident.
> "It's nothing, really," she muttered, taking Blip into her arms.

Metallus: Bite her, Blip, bite her.
Zorak: Yeah!

> But both Space Ghost were waiting for more explanation. She
> shrugged and said lamely, "I was mixing some colors for my mosaic map
> and--I had no idea they would stain so that--" She laughed nervously.
> "I can't even wash off this silly design."

Brak: Guess gettin' that tattoo over Spring Break wasn't such a hot
idea, huh?
Moltar: [under his breath] It never is.
Metallus: *You* have a tattoo?
Moltar: Forget it.
Widow: Where is it?
Moltar: *Look*, I said *drop it*!

> Jace said something about wishing all his problems were such little
> ones and turned to the chore of cleaning the cabin windows where Blip had
> smeared them.

Moltar: And we're back to the outline again.

> Space Ghost continued to stare at Jan. "What else, Jan?"
> he asked.

Metallus: Give her the third degree.
Moltar: How about a third degree *burn?* [laughs]

> Jan's eyes lowered to avoid his studied gaze. Now she could feel
> Jace staring at her, too.

Widow: How do you *feel* someone staring at you?
Brak: Remember that thing with Satanari's eyeballs?

> He was puzzled by the serious tone of Space
> host's question. She realized that she was holding her hand awkwardly
> away from Blip, to keep the mark from touching him.

Zorak: Actually, she didn't want to touch the monkey. His diaper was
kinda full again.

> At last she said, "I--I wish you hadn't relied on my judgement,
> Space Ghost. I'm just a girl--I'm not woman enough to see through
> anybody's pretenses."

Widow: ARGH!! She makes me embarrassed to be the same sex as her!
Zorak: You are?
Widow: Look at her! Wouldn't you be embarrassed too?
Zorak: Nah, I meant, you're the same sex as her?

> Space Ghost smiled. "You mean my witch talk has you worried?"

Brak: Double, double, toil and trouble! Ooooh, scary!

> "I--I don't know," Jan murmured, staring at the end of Blip's tail,

Zorak: Anyone else hungry? I hear monkeys taste like chicken.

> which was coiled around her wrist. "*If* her enemies--I mean those
> Imitators--are as bad as she says, Space Ghost, then it wouldn't matter
> so much, would it?"

Zorak: Oh, no. Of course not. The morally challenged don't have
RIGHTS, do they? So they don't count, right? Well, you've got another
think comin', sister! We've got feelings just like the rest of ya, they're
just not as easy to see!
Metallus: Morally challenged? We are EVIL! [slams a metal fist down]
Zorak: Yeah, but "evil" ain't gonna win any sympathy from the goody-
goodies when it counts, rustbucket.

> Outside, she could see star patterns changing as the ship's speed
> increased. "Could we go back, Space Ghost, and see if they really are?"

Brak: [Jan] And I have to go to the bathroom.

> "You mean my idea--infiltrate the enemy ranks?" asked Jace. "Why
> not? Just for a quick look-see?"

Zorak: And they wonder why we were always taking those kids hostage?

> "We wouldn't have to do anything," Jan declared. "And if they are
> really imitating the good people of Cyba-three, they couldn't turn away
> visitors who came right to their port of entry."

Metallus: Especially if you level the place with a few missiles first.

> Jace agreed. "Right. And then when Queen Satanari gives us the
> call for some help, we'll at least know the lay of the land and what
> we're liable to be up against."

Brak: Grass. Dirt. Rocks. A coupla trees.

> Space Ghost nodded. "Perhaps we *should* go back." His eyes rested
> briefly on Jan's hand.

Brak: [Space Ghost] Hey, that's where they are! All this time I been
walking around with no eyeballs!

> "But what about those guns on that mountain peak?" asked Jace. "If
> that was a lookout station, we've probably already been labeled
> unfriendly."

Brak: [Jace] Lookit this name tag. "Hi, my name is Unfriendly."

> "We'll just have to take our chances," said Space Ghost.

Brak: Just don't take none o' mine!
Moltar: Yeah, Brak needs all the chances he can get.

> With a
> firm, decisive hand, he swung the Phantom Cruiser around in a sweeping,
> thousand-mile arc that reversed their course.

Metallus: You'd think the Phantom Cruiser would have power steering.

> They were soon heading back
> toward Cyba-3, where the bright moments of morning were just touching the
> tall towers of its largest city.

Brak: Cock-a-doodle-doo!

>
> For Queen Satanari, the climb to her mountain stronghold was a
> difficult one. Sharp rocks cut her fingers; whipping winds tangled her
> long dark hair.

Widow: [Satanari] This will be the *last* time I climb a mountain in
high heels, let me tell you!

> And every discomfort fueled the fires of her vengeance to
> a higher flame.
> "They will never trap me again," she fumed.

Moltar: Do you smell something burning?

> "And it won't matter if
> Space Ghost learns how he helped to restore the power of Satanari the
> Sorceress on Cyba-three."
>
>
>

Moltar: [checking clipboard] No villainous laughter. Lost a point for
that.
Zorak: But it was almost a "How I Became A Supervillain" speech.
Moltar: Almost doesn't cut the mustard.

[The pyramid clears.]

Widow: What kind of witch can't even transport herself into her lair?!
Moltar: Yeah, she loses points for hiking. Especially in those high
heels. [makes a note on his clipboard]
Brak: Can we order a pizza?
Metallus: Can we WHAT?
Brak: I'm hungry.
Zorak: Didn't you bring a lunch?
Brak: Yeah, but I ate it for breakfast.
Moltar: You can't order a pizza. If you told them where to deliver it,
you'd give our location away.
Brak: [disappointed] Oh. [pause] Can I order Chinese?
Moltar: No.
Brak: Pizza 'n Pasta?
Metallus: NO!
Brak: Jeez, all right. [mumbling] Buncha grouches.

[The words begin scrolling again.]

*****

[CONTINUED NEXT SEGMENT]

so sez Jen "Call me MiSTer!" White.

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