[MiSTed] "Manos: In the Name of The Moon" (2/3)

[Jen White6]

> _____
>

Brak: How 'bout a geographic location. Um... Toadsuck, Arkansas.
Ghost: And the carrot festival therein.

> Mamoru stepped outside, the cackling leaves underneath his heels.

Zorak: [leaves] BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA- *crunch*

> The twilight hours were upon the deserts of El Paso, and Mamoru admired the
> view briefly.

Ghost: The fading sunlight glinted off the pelts of the pack of wolves
coming to devour the fresh prey they had scented.

> If it weren't for the atrtious house he was currently
> staying in, the setting might be romantic.

Brak: Heck, it might *still* be romantic. Before he found out for sure
he'd have to figger out what "atrtious" meant.

> But enough of such thoughts.
> He had best fix the car before the wild animals came out...
>

Ghost: Because everyone knows that wild animals stay *indoors* during the
daytime.

> _____
>

Brak: 'NOTHER adjective-
Ghost: I have one. Bionic.
Zorak: You *too*?
Ghost: Why not? We can *all* join in the fun!

> Usagi frantically stuffed her clothing in the chest of drawers, each
> unfolded and wrinkled.

Brak: So, she ironed the chest of drawers.

> How could Mamoru even *consider* staying in such a
> foul place!

Zorak: Hey, he got a good triple-A discount, all right?!

> Had he gone mad? The setting, the portrain on the wall, and
> most of all--Torgo.

Ghost: She just couldn't get that man out of her mind.

> They were all so creepy! She hadn't felt this sick
> since she had eaten the peanut-butter and icecream sandwich with chocolate
> chip cookies with Cool Whip spread over them.

Brak: I want HER to pack my lunches from now on.

> From the sidelines, Torgo simply gazed in her direction. Something
> about her captivated him...

Zorak: [Torgo, thinking] ThAt ShRiLl, WhInY VoIcE... ThAt SiLiY HaIrDo...
ShE MuSt Be MiNe!

> some perverse fantasy that lurked inside his
> head.

Ghost: Put the pumpkin *down,* Torgo.
Zorak: [Torgo] WhAt PuMpKiN? Is It MiDnIgHt AlReAdY?

> Then, it happened. Torgo made a bumping step forward, slowly pacing
> himself. He made another... then another... slowly making his way toward
> Usagi.

All: [singing] Put one foot in front of the others, and soon you'll be
walking 'cross the flo-o-o-or!

> "ThE mAsTeR lIkEs YoU..." Torgo said, as he stumbled forward.

Ghost: Awww, little Torgo's taking his first steps! Come to mommy!

> Usagi promptly turned around, her eyes ablaze.

Zorak: And she continued spinning around and around, hoping that that would
put out her eyeballs before they burned completely out.

> "Likes me?" she
> questioned. "But he's never even met me!"

Zorak: That's why he likes you.

> Torgo took another lumbering step forward. "hE's NoT dEaD tHe WaY
> KnOw I yOu t, MaDaM... hE iS wItH uS aLwAyS wItH uS... bUt He CaN't HaVE
> yOu... BeCaUsE *I* wAnT yOu..."

Brak: Wow. Torgo's got one weird stream of consciousness thing going on
there.

> With that pronouncement, Torgo's hand slowly lunged forward,
> stroking Usagi's left hair bun.

Ghost: Before spreading mayonnaise on it and putting in some roast beef.

> His grimy hands grappled a handful
> lovingly, as his eyes went into a dream-like state.

Ghost: Nevada.

> A blazing fury spreading over her, Usagi exclaimed, "Sailor V
> Kick!!" and gave Torgo a swift kick to the groin.

Zorak: What? Isn't she gonna take a half an hour to transform first?

> On impact, the man flew
> into the wall, leaving a permanent imprint.

Zorak: That stain's NOT comin' out.

> He soon peeled off, clenching
> his area, accompaning it with loud grunts and groans.

Ghost: Torgo! Not in front of a lady!

> With a soft giggle,
> Usagi extended her middle and forefinger in a 'Victory' sign.

Zorak: Then she folded her forefinger.

> She knew all
> those years of playing her 'Sailor V' video games would pay off!

Brak: Boy, am I glad she hadn't been playing "Pac-Man" instead.

> She cracked her knuckles. "So, Torgo... still planning on acting so
> fresh..."

Zorak: [Usagi] Kiss my stilettos, worm!

> A choking gasp. "FoRgIvE mE, mAdAm..."
>

Brak: That's some gasp.

> _____
>

Brak: Hey, a verb, past tense!
Zorak: I got one.
Brak: Shoot.
Zorak: Exploded.
Ghost: Figures.
Zorak: Oh yeah, Mr. "Bionic"?

> ChibiUsa, now sitting upon the sofa, stroked Luna's fur, which was
> answered with a low pur. The girl giggled.

Brak: [Chibi-Usa] Look! Kitty has all these cute little black specks in
her fur! And they're moving!

> "Do you think it's wise to stay here?" the cat asked, her voice
> nonchalant.

Ghost: Talking cats always rely on the advice of small children.

> ChibiUsa mused on the idea, "Hmmm... I don't know. But still...
> it's better than fighting loads of Negascum, day in, day out."

Brak: [Chibi-Usa] Now we can fight them at night!

> Luna nodded. "True."
>

Zorak: Uh... yeah.

> _____
>

Brak: Another verb, past tense! Immigrated!
Zorak: You're *way* too enthusiastic about this.

> The Altar.

Ghost: The Setting.

> The man lying upon the coffin shaped resting structure stirred.
>

Brak: And added a cupful of raisins.

> _____
>

Brak: Forsooth! An interjection!

> "PlEaSe MaDaM... I mEaNt nO hArM..." Torgo's insistance was making
> her ears bleed.
> "All right, I won't tell my husband," she said.

Zorak: [Usagi] Just get that icepick out of my ear!

> "But I want to get
> out of this place as soon as possible..."
>

Ghost: Well, she'll never be accepted into the military now.

> _____
>

Brak: A room? Um...
Ghost: The Oval Office.
Zorak: I got a bad feeling about that one.

> "Damn."
> That's all Mamoru could say.

Ghost: Because BS&P wouldn't let any of the others words through.

> The car was dead, totally dead. No way on God's green Earth he
> would be able to fix it alone.

Brak: [singing] People who need people are the luckiest people in the
world...

> But there was no need to worry. A quick
> call to the local auto-repair would fix things ina jiffy. Then they could
> leave this Godforbidden place...
>

Zorak: THOU SHALT NOT GO TO EL PASO, TEXAS!

> _____
>

Brak: Verb! Crumple!

> A distant howl.

Ghost: Rang out. The maid screamed.

> Luna sat upright, hissing. ChibiUsa blinked, ceasing her
> continuious petting. Without hesitation, the cat rushed off in a frenzy,
> leaving only a trail of dust behind her.
>

Zorak: [Luna] Where'd they put that sandbox again?!

> _____
>

Brak: Verb, past tense.
Zorak: Stained.
Brak: Ew.

> Mamoru was on the verge of entering the household whenever Luna had
> dashed past him.

Ghost: He was ALWAYS on the verge of entering his household when Luna
dashed past him. It was an irritating habit of his.

> His head swerved in her direction,

[Zorak makes tire-screeching noises]

> watching her boldly
> make her way onward into the distant murkiness. It wasn't long before
> another howl was heard, followed by a shriek of agony.

Zorak: Brak, watch close. You're seeing evolution in action.

> Mamoru pursued.
> He arrived on the scene moments too late. He glanced downward his
> feline companion. There were at least three large, critically bleeding
> openings; gashes through the patches of blue fur.

Brak: No! Someone take the kitty to a doctor!
Ghost: Settle down, Brak. It's not a real cat. It's a special effect.

> She croaked, gasping for dear life, "N-Neg-gaverse..."

Zorak: It was Negaverse wolves that killed her! She wasn't just being
stupid and running out of a safe house right into a wolf pack! Yeah, that's
the ticket!

> That was the last word Luna ever uttered.
>

Ghost: Before entering a convent and taking a vow of silence.

> _____
>

Brak: Noun. [looks around himself, finally glancing down at his legs.]
Pair of pants.
Ghost: I think that's a plural noun.

> Torgo was in the bathroom. Yes, this is where he should be...

Zorak: Because he's a total s-
[space Ghost BLASTS Zorak.]
Zorak: [now crispy] This is censorship!

> this
> is where the Lady makes contact with him.

Brak: Uh...

> He poked his staff behind the
> toilet,

Zorak: [Torgo] WhY CaN't We JuSt BuY A PlUnGeR?!

> catching hold on the metallic box he had found in the desert. He
> pulled it to his feet, then knelt down and seized it up from the floor. He
> promptly placed it on the counter, then tapped it lightly in the way he was
> once indicated to.

Ghost: It opened to reveal his beauty aids and a miniature plastic
ballerina turning around the strains of a music box.

> The image of the Lady, the sinister Queen Beryle, flashed upon the
> screen..

Brak: Burning itself forever into Torgo's retinas.

> "I hAvE dOnE yOuR dEsIrEd BiDdInG mY qUeEn... ThErE aRe HeRe..."

Ghost: [Beryl] My BIDDING was for you to learn how to spell my name right!

> Torgo's sinister grinned spread across his face, slightly obscured by his
> bushy beard.

Brak: It's like watching a tumbleweed smile.

> "Good," Beryl proclaimed. "Now, my fifth and final general... here
> are your instructions. Listen closely: You must revert to your youma form,
> and annhiliate the three of them. Any means necassery are acceptable!

[All three look at each other]
Brak: Torgo's a youma?
Ghost: It DOES explain things.
Zorak: Like *what*?
Ghost: Well... uh... the big knees, for a start!
Zorak: [shaking his head] I can't believe I'm saying this, but I wish
Tansit was here.

> Just do it!"

Brak: Nike!

> "YeS, mY qUeEn..."
>

Zorak: [Torgo] ThE MaStEr WaNtS QuEeN BeRyL... BuT He CaN't HaVe Her... I
WaNt HeR...

> _____
>

Ghost: How many more of these blanks *are* there?
Zorak: Way too many.
Brak: Thanks.
Zorak: What?
Brak: Never mind.

> Mamoru scurried into the house. He was greeted by an equally
> frightened Usagi, her eyes bulging, mouth limply open.

Ghost: Mamoru screamed and fled back into the night.

> "We have to get out of here!!" the two shouted, their voices
> mingling.

Brak: JINX! Can't talk till someone says your name!

> Mamoru nodded. Usagi shuddered, then lunged herself into Mamoru's
> chest, sobbing lightly.

Zorak: Feeling sorry that she'd broken his ribs.

> Mamoru wrapped his arms around her waist, hoping to
> comfort the broken woman.

Zorak: The cat's dead, his ribs are smashed, now she's broken. The only
one left in one piece is the kid.

> This place was the dwelling of nightmares!

Ghost: If Lokar were here, he'd say something about Edgar Allen Poe.

> "Honey," Mamoru asked. "Let's leave on foot... I'm sure we could
> find something soon... Now let's find ChibiUsa and get the devil out of
> here."

Brak: [Mamoru] Did you bring your Shinto wand?
Ghost: [Usagi] NO! I can't believe it, I left it on the coffeetable! I
*hate* it when I do that!

> Usagi released a low moan. "Where... is ChibiUsa?"
>

Zorak: You mean the little girl you left alone in the house with the big
hairy man who was pawing you a moment ago? Yeah, where IS the squirt?

> _____
>

Brak: Zorak, what's your favorite color?
Zorak: I don't have one. I hate them ALL!
Brak: Um, no color... how about transparent?
Zorak: Whatever.

> The Master awoke, surrounded by his slumbering wives.

Ghost: He alone was a morning person. It didn't make for an easy marriage.
Marriages. whatever.

> He stood up, his body erect.

Zorak: *All* of him stood up. Not just an arm or his hair.

> How long had he been asleep? At least
> thirty years.

Brak: His mouth tasted like an ashtray that someone had spilled beer into.

> Yes... the summoning of Manos was upon them. Soon... very
> soon.

Ghost: However, remember that we're taking about "soon" to someone who
sleeps for *thirty years*.

> "My wives!" he exclaimed, his voice thundering. "Awaken, and do my
> bidding!"
>

Brak: [The Master] Fix me french toast!

> End of Part One
>

Zorak: One down, *how many* to go?
Ghost: I don't know.
Zorak: We could just get up and leave.
Brak: [embarrassed] Um... I kinda wanna know what happens next.
Ghost: There's a morbid streak in all of us, I guess.

so sez Jen "Call me MiSTer!" White.