Drive home for FREE !
flah...@aol.com
Completely eliminate your cost of gasoline!
************************************************
Here's some exciting information that
you will want to take advantage of.
************************************************
HOPE. . .
****FINALLY, A TRUE AND HONEST WAY TO MAKE MONEY****
How would you like to completely eliminate your cost of gasoline,
oil changes, tune-ups, automotive repairs, car washes, or anything
else a gas or service station has to offer for the rest of your life?
How would you then like to have the OPPORTUNITY to completely
ELIMINATE these expenses...WHILE building a LUCRATIVE
Home-Based Business? Would you want to hear about it?
The perfect business. . .
INTRODUCING THE FIRST OF ITS KIND COLLECTIBLE PREPAID &
DISCOUNTED FUEL CARDS!
Work from home, using your modem, phone, and E-mail from
your PC.
We have a whole team working with you and WILL even
help find and PUT PEOPLE UNDER YOU right away!!
To review HOPE info simply reply to:
Joseph Flaherty
Flah...@aol.com
OR
You can visit my WEB SITE @:
Brian Dunkle
Don't drive home for free, just drive the hell home.
--
* Brian Dunkle * Comp. Sys. Manager; general computer guy, networks 'n' stuff
* Division of Biomedical Communications, AHSC, Tucson AZ (much too hot)
* bdu...@biocom.arizona.edu http://www.biocom.arizona.edu/~bdunkle
*
JESTER
In the not too distant future....
(SOL)
<MIKE> Uh-oh, Lothar of the Hill People is calling.
(D13)
<Dr.F> Mike, is the hassle of paying after you fill-up your car with gas
got you down?
(SOL)
<MIKE> Well, seeing as how I don't exactly have a NEED for gas up here...
<TOM> Let alone the means to acquire gas.
<MIKE> Yeah, unless they installed a Texaco pump on the Tel-Star.
<CROW> In which case I pity the poor African-American astronauts who need
a fill-up.
(D13)
<Dr. F> But say Mike,
(SOL)
<MIKE & BOTS> Mike!
(D13)
<Dr.F> {discouraged} Look, Nelson, wouldn't you rather have a way to not
have to pay for your gas after you pump it?
(SOL)
<MIKE> When I did have a need for gas, I don't think paying after I
pumped it was that big a deal!
<TOM> Don't you still have a need for gas? What does this thing run on
anyway?
<MIKE> Tom, it's very complicated.
<CROW> Pixie dust?
<TOM> Happy thoughts?
<MIKE> No and no.
<CROW> An everlasting gobstobber?
<TOM> The love of the Indigo Girls?
<MIKE> no and no.
<CROW> Veruca Salt?
<TOM> A huge mule?
(D13)
<Dr. F> Look Heckle and Jeckle...and...Jeckle, your SPAM this week is from
an America Online member looking to make life easier for the gas using
members of the human race...maybe even the ones with gas. At the same
time, it's also a glorious oppertunity to work out of your home - perfect
if your face has been mangled by a freak weed-whaker accident, or if you
smell like Newark, New Jersey on a hot July afternoon. Enjoy!
(SOL)
<TOM> Bubilicious Rasberry Red?
<CROW> A hamster wheel?
<MIKE> No and no {alarm!} and we've got SPAM sign!
6,5,4,3,2,1...
(THEATER)
On 2 Apr 1997 flah...@aol.com wrote:
<TOM> AOL? The one guy who we needed to get a busy signal...
> Completely eliminate your cost of gasoline!
<CROW> {Seinfeldian comic voice} Free gas...why not just stand outside a
Taco Bell restroom? Thank you, try the veal!
> ************************************************
> Here's some exciting information that
> you will want to take advantage of.
> ************************************************
<TOM> {FARGO voice} Oh yeah, donchaknow, you can tell it's important by
the number of asterisks.
<MIKE> Yah, Yah.
<TOM> {FV} Cuz, ya know, an unimportant thing wouldn't have so many
asterisks, donchaknow?
<MIKE> Yah, yah.
> HOPE. . .
<CROW> ...And Gloria, new on N-B-C!
<MIKE> Yeah, Must Suck TV.
<TOM> It's still better than "Thicke of the Night."
>
> ****FINALLY, A TRUE AND HONEST WAY TO MAKE MONEY****
<TOM> "Michael Milkin's Guide to Investing"
> How would you like to completely eliminate your cost of gasoline,
> oil changes, tune-ups, automotive repairs, car washes,
<CROW> enemas,
<TOM> bikini waxing,
<MIKE> colon tweaking,
<TOM> manual flipflop overriding,
<CROW> torque adjusting,
<MIKE> emmitt swimming,
<TOM> rear combusting,
<CROW> enemas!
> or anything
> else a gas or service station has to offer for the rest of your life?
<MIKE> Oh, they must mean inner peace and universal enlightenment.
<CROW> No, just another chance to see some fat Indian guy's butt crack
while he bends over to check your tire pressure.
> How would you then like to have the OPPORTUNITY to completely
> ELIMINATE these expenses...
<TOM> I'm having trouble picking out the key ideas in this sentence.
> WHILE building a LUCRATIVE
> Home-Based Business?
<CROW> Ms. Struthers, you're on in ten seconds...
> Would you want to hear about it?
<MIKE AND BOTS> NO!
> The perfect business. . .
<TOM> Sitting on your ass doing nothing, INC.
> INTRODUCING THE FIRST OF ITS KIND
<MIKE> An honest lawyer?
<TOM> A smart blonde?
<CROW> A white caucasian Olympic track and field medalist?
> COLLECTIBLE PREPAID & DISCOUNTED FUEL CARDS!
<MIKE> Trade 'em, collect them all!
> Work from home, using your modem, phone,
<TOM> I think using your modem implies using your phone.
> and E-mail from your PC.
<MIKE> {southern goober} E-Mail? Whew-hee, this here boy's high tech,
aincha?
> We have a whole team working with you
<CROW> Unfortunately, they're the Chicago Cubs.
> and WILL even help
<TOM> I WILL help YOU!
> find and PUT PEOPLE UNDER YOU right away!!
<MIKE> Yikes! Sign me up!
> To review HOPE info simply reply to:
>
> Joseph Flaherty
> Flah...@aol.com
<CROW> I wonder how people reacted when they got tied up in the advantages
of pre-paid gas only to learn the entire scheme was cooked up by the guy
who played Count Floyd?
<MIKE> Ohhhhh, scardy kids! It looks so real!
> OR
<TOM> Not.
> You can visit my WEB SITE @:
<CROW> www.Heres-some-exciting-information-that-you-will-want-to-take-
advantage-of-about-pre-paid-gas-cards-and-the-chance-to-have-a-lucrative-
business-out-of-your-own-home-call-now-before-its-too-late-thanks-again-
sincerely-count-floyd.com
> http://members.aol.com/hopewealth/DC4HOPE
<MIKE> DC4HOPE! Peace, we out like a scout on a new route!
<TOM> So Mike, what do you think of the pre-paid gas card?
<MIKE> I think it'll go the way of the pre-paid fastfood card. And believe
me, NOBODY used that!
<CROW> There was a prepaid fastfood card on Earth? Jeez, whoever thought
up that one must have taken a beating!
<MIKE> Why do you think I became a TEMP!
David Anderson
Fairly reliable sources inform me that flah...@aol.com wrote:
>Completely eliminate your cost of gasoline!
Sell your car!
>Here's some exciting information that
>you will want to take advantage of.
Unless, you know, you've got some moral hang-up about pyramid schemes.
>HOPE. . .
...springs eternal.
> ****FINALLY, A TRUE AND HONEST WAY TO MAKE MONEY****
It's called "getting a job."
>How would you like to completely eliminate your cost of gasoline,
>oil changes, tune-ups, automotive repairs, car washes, or anything
>else a gas or service station has to offer for the rest of your life?
Sure...we ALL would! But I don't WANT to sell my car.
>How would you then like to have the OPPORTUNITY to completely
>ELIMINATE these expenses...WHILE building a LUCRATIVE
>Home-Based Business? Would you want to hear about it?
Why do I sense an Amway pitch coming on?
>INTRODUCING THE FIRST OF ITS KIND COLLECTIBLE PREPAID &
>DISCOUNTED FUEL CARDS!
Talk about collectible! In ten years, they'll be worth almost 1/50th as
much as your Magic: The Gathering cards! Of course, not every card
appreciates in value. Some do go down.
>Work from home, using your modem, phone, and E-mail from your PC.
You mean, like, this internet thingy? I thought I already was.
>We have a whole team working with you and WILL even
>help find and PUT PEOPLE UNDER YOU right away!!
Uh...can't you be arrested for that? Outside of certain parts of Nevada,
I mean.
>To review HOPE info simply reply to:
>Joseph Flaherty
Uh, no thanks, Joe. I think I've heard all I need to.
--
========*Opinions expressed here are mine and mine alone. Deal with it.*========
* David Anderson * lan...@cybercom.net * http://www.cybercom.net/~lando5 *
* "Please let me know if there's any other way we can screw up tonight." *
* --James T. Kirk *
========*MSTie #46861 * Sliders, Monty Python & "Weird Al" Yankovic fan*========
JESTER
This is a repost, as the original SPAM has also been reposted...
=============================================================================
Roger Ebert on Tom McLoughlin's "Date With An Angel" -
"This movie ought to be shot."
Roger Ebert: A Bad Film's Worst Nightmare!!!!
=============================================================================