[MiSTing] Moby Dick 2/3: Prologue 2, Etymology [Era: CHASE] [PRO]
McDLT
[SoL Bridge, its inhabitants are, well, standing around some
more]
[And stand a bit longer]
[Finally Tom speaks]
Tom: So Mike
Mike: Yes, my metallic miscreant?
Tom: English professors actually require this as reading?
Mike: Why yes! In fact, there are some schools that go
through marathon readings of Moby Dick. Hit it,
Cambot!
Tom: What?
Crow: Huh?
[The scene shifts to a grainy black-and-white newsreel,
scratchy enough so as to appear to be out of the
1940s. In the background, there is a large college
chapel, in the foreground there is a quad, with many
students sprawled out, all holding what appear to be
books, but, due to the quality of the image, might as
well be small spaniels.]
Crow: [os] Why look, it's Jonestown, the morning after.
Mike: [os] Dark, and stolen from Jeff Foxworthy.
Announcer: We are entering into the second morning of the
marathon Moby Dick reading here at Wake Forest
University.
Tom: [os] For those who feel there's more to college than
winning sports teams.
Mike: [os] Well, they were ACC Baseball champions.
Crow: [os] Deac-boy, Deac-boy!
Announcer: Several of the students have become rather restless
from this required reading, but we are told that many
are up to chapter 100 by now.
Bots: [os] chapter WHAT?!?!
Tom: [os] Holy cow, are we in for a long haul.
Mike: [os] With luck, Pearl with either serialize the novel,
or get sick of sending it to us.
Announcer: Perhaps who has benefited most from all of this is
Pizza Hut on campus, which is making nearly hourly
deliveries to the students out here.
Mike: [os] I wish we had pizza on campus when I went to
college.
Tom: [os] I thought you went to a trade school with no on-
campus living.
Mike: [os] Oh fine, rub it in.
Announcer: All reports are saying that they hope the students
will finish the novel by the end of the weekend.
Crow: [os] Or at least before the storms roll in.
Tom: [makes thunder noises with his sound effect subroutine]
Crow: [os, announcer] Oh the humanity!
[The newsreel seems to break apart, and the scene dissolves back
to the bridge]
Tom: Well thank you Mike, that was informative, and quite
time filling.
Mike: Yes, but I fear it's about time for the second of the
prologues to this piece.
[Sirens, lights, craziness, etc.]
All: WE HAVE PROLOGUE SIGN!
[6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... ...]
[The trio settles into the theater]
Crow: Well, I would have to say that was a fun little
segment.
Tom: But, where did you get that newsreel?
Mike: Same place I get your domes from, I have a little box
in the back of the cargo bay marked "Plot Contrivance
Storage." I used to have two, but I think someone
stole one.
Crow: Wouldn't be about the time Ratliff was on board?
All: Hmmm...
>
>Etymology
Tom: Oh, this sounds painful right off the bat.
Crow: Pillow time!
Mike: Oh no, you guys are staying awake for this one.
>
>(Supplied by a Late Consumptive Usher
Crow: Think, if he had died a bit sooner, we might not have
to be reading this.
Mike: Dark...
Tom: But with a certain sense.
> to a Grammar School)
Mike: As opposed to Radford.
Tom: Or Wake Forest?
>
>The pale Usher-
Crow: Fell?
> threadbare in coat, heart, body,
Tom: [Snicker] And brain...
> and brain;
Tom: ACK! Damn riff-back!
> I
>see him now.
Crow: Yes, for I had him stuffed, and he is now here in
my study.
Mike: Dark as midnight.
> He was ever dusting his
Tom: Damn coffee table, dusting and Dusting and DUSTING...
OH GAWD THE DUSTING! MAKE IT STOP!
Mike: Uh...Tom...Are you OK?
Tom: What, uh, yes, I, uh, yes...
> old lexicons
Crow: Isn't that illegal?
> and grammars,
>with a queer handkerchief,
Tom: So it was purple, and triangular?
Mike: OK, well there's more flame for us.
> mockingly embellished
Crow: Hey! That's our job!
> with all the
>gay flags
Tom: This is just getting worse and worse.
Mike: Well, there were many rumors about Melville and
Hawthorne.
Crow: Uh, thank you for that lovely mental image.
Mike: Also, Whitman was almost flagrantly...
Bots: ENOUGH!
> of all the known nations of the world.
Tom: And a few UNknown ones
> He loved to
>dust his old grammars;
Crow: Didn't he say that already?
Tom: THE DUSTING! THE DUSTING!
> it somehow mildly reminded him of his
>mortality.
Mike: [the Late Usher] La de daah, dust dust dust...OH MY
GAWD! I'M GOING TO DIE!
>
>While you take in hand
Crow: [Opens his beak, then has it snapped shut by Mike]
> to school others,
Tom: Definitely illegal.
> and to teach them by
>what name a whale-fish is to be called
Mike: "Maurice"
> in our tongue leaving
>out, through ignorance, the letter H,
Tom: Stupid us.
Mike: Yes, 'ow are we to survive wit'out t'e letter " "
> which almost alone maketh
Crow: Nice homemade afghans.
>the signification of the word,
Tom: "Fruitopia"
Mike: Pointless AND a product plug.
> you deliver that which is not
>true."
>HACKLUYT
Mike: Gadzundheit.
>
>"WHALE. * * *
Crow: Hey, it's SNOWING!
Tom: YEAH! No school!
> Sw. and Dan.
Mike: Dan or Dave?
Tom: Obscure there, oh human one.
> hval. This animal is named
Crow: "Spot"
> from
>roundness or rolling;
Tom: [Singing] Rolling rolling rolling
Mike: Keep those hval's there rolling
Crow: With a big ol' slab of...
All: RAWHIDE!
> for in Dan. hvalt is
Tom: Loosely defined as "one who goes into the woods as
a young pup, and, while there, lives as do the bears,
and emerges bleeding but grown."
> arched or vaulted."
>WEBSTER'S DICTIONARY
Crow: Wow, we've never riffed that before!
>
>"WHALE. * * * It is more immediately from the Dut.
Tom: I thought that whales were mentioned more in the book
of Jonah than the book of Deuteronomy.
> and Ger.
>Wallen;
Mike: Who's Ger Wallen?
> A.S. Walw-ian, to roll, to wallow."
Crow: That's always fun!
>RICHARDSON'S DICTIONARY
>
> KETOS Greek
Tom: Those whales that don't shave under their flippers.
> CETUS Latin
Mike: The dead whales.
> WHOEL Anglo-Saxon
Crow: WASW, White, Anglo-Saxon Whale
> HVALT Danish
Tom: Cream cheese filled whales.
> WAL Dutch
Mike: Whales that go even on dates.
> HWAL Swedish
Crow: Jack Frost!
Mike: Oh, point off, that was Russo-Finish.
> WHALE Icelandic
Tom: Whalekavich?
> WHALE English
Mike: Yes, but where can you find enough tea for them.
> BALEINE French
Crow: Dipped in an egg batter and griddled.
> BALLENA Spanish
Tom: uh...uh...PASS!
> PEKEE-NUEE-NUEE Fegee
Mike: Not Tahiti, I'm depressed.
> PEKEE-NUEE-NUEE Erromangoan
Crow: HEY! Same to you bub!
>
>
>
>
Mike: What?
Tom: Well, I guess it's over.
Crow: Out shall we then?
Mike: I think we shall.
[All get up to leave]
[Commercials]
[Concluded (for now) in part 3, Chapter I: Loomings]