[MiSTing] Sonic Fights Robotnik 6: The Final Battle! (2/5)
Tjats
-------------------------
[Jim, Servo and Crow enter the theater]
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
SERVO: A knife blade!
>
>Backstage
>
>"Hey Quack" said Robotnik "I want you to find out where all those SWAT
>missels go after I fire them"
JIM[as Quack]: Next time you fire them, or is it just in the wrong tense?
>"Uhhh...ok" said Dr. Quack
>Robotnik goes back to the robotnik show. He sings "Walkin' on the sun"
CROW[singing]: Might as well be walkin' on the CRAP!
>Meanwhile Dr .Quack goes through the computer systems.
SERVO: Is he a ghost?
>"Oh no!" said Quack "Dr. Robotnik is evil!
ALL: What gave you that impression?
>And look! These missles are
>aimed right at knothole villiage. And one of them has hit it's target,
JIM: But it never had a target!
>the hut of sonic has been destroyed. OH NO!"
CROW: So, nobody in Knothole cares about the hut, but EVIL DR. QUACK does?!?
>Robotnik walks backstaghe during the next commercial break.
>"Hey quack, where do the missles go?" said Robotnik
SERVO[as Quack]: Oh, you know...places.
>"Ummm....well, they go.....nowhere" said Dr. Quack
SERVO: I was close...
>"Nowhere, huh" said Robotnik
JIM[as Robo]: Isn't that in Tennesse?
>"I guess I wasted more than a few missles. i
>wonder why those missles were aimed at nothing"
CROW: PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T AIM!!!
>"Beats me" said Dr. Quack
JIM: Is that a proposition?
SERVO: I can't even tell which are the right words anymore.
>Robotnik goes back on stage
>"Commercial breaks over!" said Robotnik
>Robotnik runs back out on stage
CROW: But he already *was* on stage!
>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
CROW: Uh... upward force!
JIM: Bad, Crow.
>
>On stage
SERVO: So he used those zig-zags for nothing?
>
>Robotnik: Hey! Hey! Hey-hey! We're back
CROW: to the Fat Albert Show!
>SWAT BOTS: woo...........hoo
>Robotnik: Now here's our guest, WALT WHITMAN!
JIM: Hey, my distant uncle!
CROW: Suuuuure, Jim.
JIM: No, really!
>JUST THEN DR. QUACK RUNS OUT ON STAGE FIRING AT ROBOTNIK WITH A LASER
>RIFLE!
CROW: The real Walt Whitman graphicaly potrayed.
>Quack: Die evil feind!
SERVO: Hello! You're evil, too!
>Robvotnik grabs quack by the neck
JIM: The Sweedish version of Robotnik.
>Quack: urk
>Robotnik: You betrayt me! I will have you robotocized! (robotni kthrows
>quack to some bots) Take him away!
SERVO: Jim, can I correct those lines?
JIM: No. Too much pain.
>Robotnik: Oh carp!
CROW: On purpose so he won't swear.
>Now i need a new assisistant!
>Walt Whitman walks on stage
JIM: One, he's DEAD! Two, he's DEAD! Three, he's ON EARTH! Four, he's DEAD!
>Walt: Hi
>Robotnik: Fock off Whitman! Turn off the camera, the shows over!
JIM: Fock you, Robotnik!
CROW: Jim, I think you need a rest.
JIM: No, I'm fine.
>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
SERVO: Downward force!
JIM: That doesn't count.
SERVO: Darn.
>
>Death Egg control room
>
>Robotnik drags a dusty old machine out of the closet.
CROW[as Robotnik]: It's called a "Cotton Gin"!
>"This" said Robotnik "Is the resurrect-o-matic. It will resurrect Snivley
>fore me!"
JIM: But first, some golf.
>"huhuhhh I want some nachos!" said Grounder
>"HEHhehHe me too!" said Scratch
SERVO: Can we please kill them?
>"Shuddup!" said Robotnik. Robotnik plugged in the machine and hit a few
>buttons. THe room is illuminated with light. When the lights dissapers
>Frank Sinatra is in the room
CROW: Off by just a little.
JIM: His first name is Frank,
SERVO: Frank is Dr. Forrester's assistant,
CROW: Snively's Dr. Robotnik's assistant.
>"What the fock?" said Robotnik
>"Hi there, I'm TV's Frank Sinatra" said Frank
JIM: Another connection.
>"Cool. Can you sing a song for us?" said Robotnik
>"Sure!" said Frank
>Frank sang the Death Egg Battle song
SERVO: All the punch of that cheesy "Adventures of Sonic" TV show.
>"Sonic was on a mission dark (hoo yeah)
>to defeat the evil doctor (ba-boom)
JIM: A rhyme, Mr. Sinatra?
>but he beat him (yeah)
>like he did (yeah)
>and no one was asunder (bow)
>thunderrr... (kra-kow)
>SONIC! SUPER SONIC! (wah wah)
>he is the hero of our day (may may!)
CROW: Wait, have we heard this before?
>SONIC! SUPER SONIC! (wah wah)
>let's all say hooray
>(HOOOOO-RAY!!!!)
>lets all say hooray
>(HOOOOOOOrAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!)"
JIM: Is this the Death Egg Battle Song that has no mention of the Death Egg?
CROW: Oh, yeah. The other version is chock full of eggs and death.
>Robotnik dances.
>"Oh yeah thats a smooth jive!" said Robotnik, snapping his fingers in
>time to the beat "Now sing the Robotnik Show theme song"
JIM: It's the Robotnik Show! The end!
>Frank sang
>"Dooby dooby doo doo dooby dooby dooo....It's the Robotnik shooooow! hey!
>He's Doctor Robotniiik! And his assistant Snivley is koo-koo! koo-koo!
>koo-koo oh yeah! dooby dooby doooo"
SERVO: Jim, I'm just going to go over here and kill myself, okay?
JIM: Alright.
[Servo gets up and leaves]
>Robotnik GRoundr and Scratch clap.
>"ok, let's bring snivley back to life" said Robotnik. He hit more
>buttons. The light illuminated the room and snivley apperared.
>"Hi sir" said Snivley
>"It's time for the robotnik show again!" said Robotnik
CROW: Jim, I'm going to go, too, okay?
JIM: Okay.
[Crow gets up and leaves]
>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\\/\/\/\/\/\/\
JIM: Hey! He messed up!
>
>Mobius Mall
>
>"hey Bunnie look at what I bought rotor" Tails said, showing bunnie the
JIM[as Bon Vila]: Craftsman robo-lock pliers from Sears.
>coffee mug he bought.
>"Heck y'all I bought him sum of these here crystals, you all know, some
>of em are red and some of em are blue..." said Bunnie
JIM: ARRRRRG! [covers his ears]
>"ARRRRRG!" said Tails covering his ears
>Then Tails saw uncle bob walking through the mall
>"Hey Uncle Bob!" said Tails
JIM: No, *UNcle* Bob!
>"Aye there laddy" said Bob "Whats up with ye?"
JIM: "Lady" or "Laddie"?
>"Hey Uncle Bob how's it going?" said Tails
>Bunnie said "Some of em are cyan and some of em are rouge"
>"Focking bad" said Bob "A bunch of bots blew up me trailer"
JIM: The fock is understandable since he lives in a trailer.
>"Want to live at Knothole?" said Tails
>"Ok!" said Bob
>"And..." said Bunnie "HECK ALL Y'ALL SOME OF EM AREN'T EVEN CYRSTALS AT
>ALL!"
JIM: This must be a tradition or something.
>"Really..... THEN WHAT IN THE NAME O' FOCK ARE THEY????" said Bob
JIM: Jim, I'm going to go kill myself, okay? Okay. [leaves right]
[Servo and Crow enter left]
CROW: I told you, Servo, we don't breathe, so how will smothering do the job?
SERVO: I don't know. Hey, where's Jim?
CROW: Probably went to kill himself, too.
>"Well heck y'all" said Bunnie "Some of em are potato chips"
>"Oh" said Tails and Bob.
>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
SERVO: Bart Simpson's hair style!
CROW: Good one!
>
>doo doo doo
>yo yo yo
>sang dr. quack, in his cell at the robototization complex.
CROW: Hey, you'd be singing too if you were about to be stripped of all your
personality!
>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
SERVO: The path of skipping rocks on a pond!
>
>The Robotnik Show (yet again)
BOTH: Do, do, dooooo!
SERVO: How do you pronounce that?
CROW: I don't know.
>
>Robotonik: Hi friends, once again it's.....
BOTH[bland]: The Robotnik Show.
>(waits for 30 seconds)
>Robotnik: THE ROBOTNIK SHOW!!!!
CROW: Was that for suspense?
[Jim enters right]
JIM: Hey, guys. I tried to get the nanites to strip my main processor out,
but they said I didn't
have one.
>SWAT bots: YAY.........clap........clap.......clap
>Robotnik: Doo Dee doo dah doo dum dee doo! bo bop bee bop bow wow doo doo
>dee doo dah day! The one! The only! The stale spumoni! The Robotnik
>Shhoooooooooowww!!!
>Robotnik jumps on the desk and crushes it.
JIM: I should have told them to remove my brain instead.
CROW: Oh, definetly.
>SWAT bots:
>HA.......................................................................
>.........................................................................
>....................................................................HA
SERVO: Oh, I can go longer than that.
>Robotnik: Now here's Snivley and the SWAT bot orchastra!
>Snivley: Hey man
>Robotnik: So Snivley, I hear something interesting happened to you just 5
>minutes ago.
>Snivley: That's right Ivo, I was just resurrected 5 minutes ago.
CROW: So he was resurrected for the sole purpose of leading the SWAT bot
orchestra?
>Robotnik: Wow, cool. Speaking of resurrected people, Heeeeere's frank
>sinatra!
SERVO: For crying out loud! We don't want good people in bad fanfics!
>Frank: Hi it's grat to be here.
CROW[as Frank]: But definetly not great.
>Here's a little tune you might know.
ALL[singing]: It's not unusual to be loved by anyone...
JIM: Wait, wrong artist.
>Snivley and the bots start jamming on the guitars and drums
>Frank Sinatra sings "Walking Contradiction" by Greenday
JIM: Why not one of *his own* songs!?!
>Robotnik: Thatnks Franks!
SERVO: The hell?
>Now it's time for THE PARKING LOT CAM!
ALL: Again.
>SWAT bots: ALL............RIGHT
>Snivley and the band play the Parking Lot Cam Song
CROW: Oh, it's a musical fanfic.
>Snivley: (sings) OH YEAH YEAH YEAH ITS IN A PARKING LOT! THERE'S A LOTTA
>CARS YOU JUST GOTTA SEE OH YEAH ON THE PARKING LOT CAAAAAM!!!!!
>Everybody looks at the big screen
>Robotnik: Hmmm....there's a car over there.....another car over
>there....and another one...this is exciting huh?
SERVO: To them, probably.
>SWAT bots: YES
>Robotnik: Hey what's that? It looks like.....zoom in.....ah ha! I do
>beleve it is .... freedom fighters!
JIM: A feckle of ferocious freedom fighters!
>Snivley: Freedom Fighters sir?
>Robotnik: Yeah, freedo fighters.
CROW: But then the sentence would have to be "*No*, freedo fighters."
>Hey ...... LET'S GO GET EM
>YAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
>Snivley and the bots play the pee-wee herman song, also know by it's real
>name "Tequila"
SERVO: Wasn't that in Eegah?
>Robotnik runs off the stage and out the door. The SWAT bots clap and
>cheer.
JIM: It's so great that Robotnik ran out on his own show! We've just got to
clap!
>Snivley and the bots follow Robotnik, still playing music.
>(cut to scene of death egg launching pad)
SERVO: So they're not going after them after all.
>Robotnik Snivley and the bots get into a stealth-hover. Snivley and the
>bots continue to play music.
>The stealth-hover takes off. FWOSH!
>
CROW: Speaking of taking off...
[Jim picks up Servo and they all leave the theater]
[commercials]
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Jim W.
aka
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