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MSTED: OFF$HORE TRUST ACCOUNTS

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Psykopath

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Jan 25, 1997, 3:00:00 AM1/25/97

Disclaimer: This is not done for profit. MST3K, Tom, Crow, Mike, and
the Forrestors are copyright of BBI and are used without permission.
Standard disclaimers apply here. The Jolly Roger Cookbook, aka The
Anarchists cookbookis copyright is copyright Jolly Roger, who could
easily blow up my house ifhe was old enough to drive over here.

Crow: Hmm...Jolly Roger...AAARGH!!! Oh, it's the Jolly Roger
*Cookbook*, that's better, I wonder if I could build anything from
this. I could get stuff if I had some bombs to scare Mike. Just print
that out.

Crow: I'll just take this top sheet, leave the rest here. <Takes a
sheet and wanders off. The paper keeps feeding and ends up in the
umbilicus. It is that long. Just so you know, it consists of over
two-hundred files, some of which are very long.>

Mike: Looks like Voyager and daemon9 are calling. <hits light>

Dr. F: (bubbling): Your wonderful little bot sent me a present. The
Jolly Roger Cook Book. Information on credit card fraud,
homemade guns, bombs, everything mother wouldn't let me have! Just
for this, you're not getting an experiment.

<Mrs. F comes in.>

Mrs. F: Clayton, is there anything I can do to help around here, I
feel kind of bad because I just killed your hamster.

Dr. F (crying): Mr. Snuffles? NOOOOO! He was so young. I'll kill you
for this.

Mrs. F: What?

Dr. F: I said, can you push the button for me, mommy?

Mrs. F: Well, okay, but I don't see why you were so attached to that
hamster.

Mike: Uh, Mrs. Forrestor, there's something you should know. Dr. F's
going to... <Crow comes in, has a pipe strapped to him>

Crow (Scottish voice): I've got explosives!

Tom & Mike: Uh oh.

Crow: I have some demands, or I blow us all up. First, I want to say
whatever I want in the theatre. Anything, and some naked pictures of
Bea Arthur, and an Avengers arcade game and....

Dr. F (Really Mad): First I find out that mother killed Mr. Snuffles
and then I discover that that anrachy textbook isn't for me. I'm
sending you theexperiment. It's a wacky little spam about trust funds
in offshore countries.Shades of McElwaine.

All: We have $PAM SIGN!

>From OFFS...@Hotmail.com Sun Jan 12 08:43:02 1997

Mike: That mail must be hot from the flames.
Crow: I hope he touches the mail and gets some third degree burns.

>Newsgroups: alt.games.duke3d,alt.journalism,alt.sex,news.groups,alt.sex.masturbation,
>alt.censorship,alt.drugs.pot,

Tom: What the author of this SPAM must be smoking.
Crow: Yup, lights up right after he's censored for masturbating.
Tom: Mike, make him stop doing that.
Mike: I would make him stop being sick, but he has a bomb strapped to
him.
I don't mess with people with bombs.

>alt.drugs,alt.hemp,alt.sex.anal,alt.sex.breast,alt.sex.erotica,alt.sex.first-time,
>alt.sex.gangbang,alt.sex.girls,alt.sex.movies,alt.sex.oral,alt.sex.wanted,talk.politics.misc,
>alt.sex.magazines,alt.sex.marketplace,alt.sex.orgy,alt.beer,talk.philosophy.humanism,talk.rape,
>talk.abortion,alt.party,alt.politics.homosexuality,alt.skinheads,uk.politics,alt.sex.services,
>alt.games.apogee,alt.2600,

Crow: Alright, hackers are going to kick this guy's ass for spamming
thier group.

>alt.abortion.inequity,alt.activism,alt.aol-sucks,alt.business,alt.censorship,
>alt.christnet,alt.conspiracy,alt.cult-movies,alt.dear.whitehouse,alt.feminism,
>alt.forsale,alt.misc,alt.personals,alt.president.clinton,alt.punk,alt.showbiz.gos

Mike: Must have been too many crossposts to fit on the subject header.

>Subject: FAQ's BELIZE OFF$HORE TRUST PROGRAM

ALL: (Scream in terror)
Crow: Robert McElwaine is back and he wants vengance!
Tom: UN-authorized d...
Mike: NO! DON'T DO THAT!

>From: OFFS...@Hotmail.com
>Date: Sun, 12 Jan 1997 05:43:02 -0800

>1=BE=00=00=00=AB=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=D0d=00=00=CB=00=D8=00=D8=00=D9=00=
>=DA=00=DA=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=
>=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=
>=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=DB=00=00=00=00=
>=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=
>=00=00P

Mike: It's hex and equal signs!
Crow: So this is why he posted to alt.2600

>ROSPER INTERNATIONAL LEAGUE LTD.
>FREQUENTLY ASKED QUES TIONS (FAQ'S)
>OR =

>ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE BELIZE PROSPER TRUST

Tom: You learned in kindergarten.

> P=
>ILL iD # 6932

>Q - WHAT IS A TRUST AND WHEN DID IT BEGIN?

Mike: Trust is something we don't have in your intelegence. It began
when you
posted this.

>A - Originally developed in the English Courts in Medieval times. In esse=
>nce a trust is an arrangement, an agreement whereby one person a "SETTLOR=

Crow: Yea, Old English! Like at the Ren Fair!
All: Huzzah!

>" causes a second person, "TRUSTEE" to become the legal owner of property=
>which he holds for the benefit of a third person the, "BENEFICIARY".

Mike: Hence the title.

> The=
> Trust property may include anything which is capable of being transferre=
>d such as land, buildings, money, shares, bonds

Tom: Such as waffles, booze, very small rocks.
Crow: Bodily fluids.
Mike: Come on Crow, have some self control.
Crow: I don't have to. Kaboom!!!!

>(including shares of offs=
>hore companies).

>Q - WHY WOULD I WANT TO SET UP A TRUST IN AN OFFSHORE COUNTRY?

Mike: I didn't know you could transfer countries.
Crow: It's easy, it just leaves a really big hole in the ground.
Tom: I want to know what the country is offshore of.\

>A. If you like the idea of having a Trust, let me explain why another co=
>untry could be advantageous to your financial well being. In the united =
>States of America, there are so many UNCLEAR rules,

Tom: Well if you wouldn't breath on the rules like that they wouldn't
fog up.

>statutes and codes th=
>at people believe are all laws. Everyone seems to believe in

Mike: One or more of the following: God.
Tom: Conspiracy theories.
Mike: Aliens.
Crow: Santa Clause.
Mike: The tooth fairy.
Tom: Magic.
Crow: Conspiracies theories about aliens abducting Santa Clause and
the Tooth
Fairy and forcing them to play Magic with God.

> different a=
>ys when it comes to the laws of income tax reporting, citizenship and sov=
>ereignty, to name a few. This creates a host of problems for those of us =
>that insist on living under Common Law as we do.

Tom (Snooty voice): I wouldn't dare live under common law, like a,
*commoner*.

>Even though a Common Law=
> Trust is written to be used as the basis of business dealings and owners=
>hip

Crow: They break the owner's hips?
Tom: It's the common law mafia!

>of assets, you may end up dealing with certain uneducated people anyw=
>ay.

Mike: Like the author of this post.

>This can cause you undue hardship and inconvenience. However, with an=
> Offshore Trust, if a problem arises, you simply notify the interested pa=
>rties that they're dealing with an Offshore entity and that eliminates ha=
>lf of the problems they think exist.

Tom: It's a hypocondriac legal problem.
Mike: Much like the Clinton's legal troubles.
Tom: But that's all in the Republican's heads, not the Clinton's.
Crow: And the problems a real.

>The other half of the problems will =
>probably go away

Crow: If you ignore them.

>once they realize they'll have to hire a Belizean attorn=
>ey to pursue it any further.

Tom: Yup, hassling the other guy is an honest way of settling legal
disputes.

>Q - WHY WOULD I WANT TO CHOOSE BELIZE OVER ANY OTHER COUNTRY?

Crow: Belize is much like booze.
Tom: You should choose booze.

>A. The Belizean Law on Trusts, specifically called the Belize Trusts Act=

Mike: How appropriate.

>, 1992 is EXTREMELY CLEAR on what is allowed and what is not. It makes wr=
>iting an Offshore Trust much more practical. It leaves very little room f=
>or uncertainty. In 1992, Belize rewrote their laws to be more clear, conc=
>ise and above all, more

Crow: Profitable for the goverment.

>in tune to what people are desiring of an Offshore entity.
>They have some of the most liberal laws

Tom: Communistic?
Crow: Well if they're the *most* liberal laws.

>I've seen for Offshore =
>Trusts that give you so much more flexibility in what can be done. They a=
>re an English speaking country.

Mike (as Kevin Neiland): The study conludes that the reason they speak
english
is that ALL THE OTHER LANGUAGES ARE WIERD!

>They are actively seeking the offshore bu=
>siness, and rapidly becoming on of the best tax havens!

Tom: It's the taxes!
All: Run away, run away!

>Their confidentia=
>lity and privacy laws have been recently tested and the Belize courts hav=
>e stood squarely behind them.

Crow: Laws make excellent shields against incoming bullets.

>Q - HOW CLEAR IS THE BELIZEAN LAW ON TRUSTS?

Tom: As clear as my head!
Crow: In the theatre or on the bridge?
Tom: Both.
Crow: Okay...huh?

>A. The law of Belize is VERY CLEAR AND UNDERSTANDABLE in all facets of d=
>ealing with Trusts. It eliminates the confusion that exists in Trusts wri=
>tten in the United States of America.

Mike: Those wacky American trusts, never know what's going on with
them.

>Q - ARE THERE ANY HIDDEN COSTS THAT I WILL INCUR IN SETTLING AN OFFSHORE =
>TRUST IN BELIZE?

All: No! Of course not.
Mike: There's just the income tax.
Crow: Pestering the lawyer tax, falling for the spam tax..
Tom: As paid on MAKE.MONEY.FAST posts.
Crow: Plus the duty on the property.
Tom: Unless you shop at the duty free shop.
Crow: And then there's the capital gains tax, parts and labor...
Mike: And 9.95 shipping and handling.

>A. Absolutely not! The only additional cost is a nominal annual maintena=
>nce fee paid to the Trustee.

>Q - WHAT IS MEANT BY AN "EXEMPT" TRUST?

Crow: A trust that has diplomatic imunity.

>A. It simply means that you are not taxed by Belize on the income that t=
>he Trust earns. The Trust is also not taxed on capital gains nor is any d=
>uty charged on any estate through the Trust.

>Q - WHAT DETERMINES AN "EXEMPT" TRUST?
>A. The SETTLOR, PROTECTOR and BENEFICIARY may not be resident of Belize,=
> any portion of any calendar year, in order to remain an exempt Trust.

Mike: I don't know anyone who is a portion of a calendar year, do you?
Bots: No, nope, nobody.

>Q - HOW SAFE IS AN OFFSHORE TRUST

Crow:

>A. The risk you take with any Offshore Trust is that the country is goin=
>g to remain stable enough for you to maintain constant access to your dol=
>lar account. Because Belize has a stable economy and was founded on Engli=
>sh Common Law,

Tom: I thought he said common law is bad?
Mike: Ignore the poster dear, he lives in a haze from all that pot in
the
subject header.
Crow: And all those dirty stories from the sex groups. He's too tired
to
think correctly.
Mike: I hate that bomb.

>it's biggest advantage is it's clarity in the system of de=
>veloped law. As a former British Crown Colony, they adopted the Common L=
>aw of England and thereby inherited what some believe to be the greatest =
>and most distinctive achievement performed by Englishmen in the field of=
> jurisprudence, which is the most outstanding creation of equity, the Tru=
>st.
>Q - WHO KEEPS COPIES OF THE TRUSTS THAT I CREATE? A. The only copy in ex=
>istence is the one you have.

Crow: So don't lose it bonehead.

>Q - HOW PRIVATE ARE THE RECORDS?
>A. Think about it.

All: Won't you?

>The records are extremely private and confidential an=
>d protected by the laws of Belize. If anyone wants to pursue the Trust wi=
>th a lawsuit, they'd have to rely on information being available in Beliz=
>e. They would have to track down the Trustee of the Trust, wherever they =
>may be and pursue in the courts of Belize and subject to the laws of Beli=
>ze. The jurisdiction may be moved by the Trustee and the Protector to fur=
>ther confuse the issue.

Tom: MMM...shady legal advice.

>Q - DO I NEED A TRUSTEE FROM BELIZE?
>A. No, that is not necessary. Under the terms of this Trust, a resident =
>of Belize is not necessary to perform the role of the TRUSTEE.

Crow: Although a resident is needed if you want to marry for
citizenship.
Mike: But if you became a citizen then you don't get an exempt trust,
so...
ALL: Don't marry Belizenians!

>The TRUSTE=
>E can be resident of any other country in the world. =

Mike: Offer not valid in France. Void where prohibited.

> =
>
>Q - CAN I STILL USE MY OWN ASSOCIATES

Tom (As Morden): My associates can arange that.

>TO FILL THE KEY POSITIONS OF THE TR=
>UST?
>A. Yes, however, we do not recommend that you take this approach. Our Be=
>lizian Trustee has been selected after years of due diligence and we stan=
>d behind him 100%.

Mike: In case of civil war, we'll use him as a human shield.

>
>Q - DOES THE DEATH OF ANY PERSON AFFECT THE TAXES OF THE TRUST?
>A. No! The Trust is not liable for any estate, inheritance, succession o=
>r gift tax or duty by reason of any death in a calendar year.

Crow: Nothing is certain but death and taxes.

>Q - WHO IS THE TRUSTEE OF THE TRUSTS WE CREATE?
>A. P.I.L.L.

Tom: Poodles In Liquid Lithium
Mike: That made no sense.
Crow: Maybe Tom needs some of the poodles Lithium.
Tom: Hey!
Mike: Calm down, don't let the post divide you. Attack the post, not
the person
or some such thing.

>recommends that you appoint Belize Offshore Services LTD. D=
>avid Jenkins is the President.

Mike: He's not just the president, he's also a meber.

>However, you may appoint anyone you wish.=

Crow: I'm apointing my horse.

>Q - IS THERE A NEED FOR ME TO OBTAIN AN AGENT IN BELIZE? A. No, P.I.L.L=
>=2E& Belize Offshore Services LTD. has already done this.
>
>Q - WHO HAS A VESTED INTEREST IN THE TRUST FUNDS? A. Only the TRUSTEES, =
>not individually, but collectively as the Board of Trustees.

Mike (as Locutus): We are Locutus of the Board Trustees. You will be
assimilated
into the offshore account. Resistance futile. From now on, you will
invest
in...us.

>Q - CAN THE TRUST BE IN EXISTENCE FOR MORE THAN 120 YEARS?
>A. No. 120 years is the limit. It can be established for a shorter perio=
>d of time but the maximum is 120 years, with no exceptions.

Crow(as screaming guy from Millenium): THE 120 YEARS ARE UP!

>Q - HOW DO I GAIN CONTROL OF THE TRUST?

Mike: You control the trust through the use of a control pad,
joystick,
keyboard, or mouse. These options may be changed in the setup menu.

>A. You should not be in control, that is what makes a trust vulnerable.=
> You should only use the "Letter of Wishes" to your Trustee.

Tom: I'll tap my mana to summon a Letter of Wishes.
Mike: Does sound like something from a fantasy game, doesn't it?

>Q - IS THIS AN IRREVOCABLE OR REVOCABLE TRUST?
>A. This is an IRREVOCABLE Trust, meaning that the SETTLOR can not change=
> his mind and take control over his property again or withdraw the terms =
>of the contractual agreement between him and the TRUSTEE.
>
>Q - IS THIS TRUST THE SAME AS A PURE TRUST THAT WE WOULD FIND IN THE U.S.=

Tom: Made from 100% pure trust, for 100% kids.

>A. No, this can not be compared to the Pure Trust offered in the U.S. be=
>cause Belizean Laws are written differently and they purposely address ne=
>w issues that are of concern to modern business persons. Belizean Law wa=
>s completely revised in 1992 for the specific purpose of attracting

Crow: The male of the species.
Mike: So laws have genders?
Crow: Uh, forget I said that.

>new T=
>rust business that would satisfy

Crow: The needs of the male it attracts.
Mike: Stop that.
Crow: Make me.

>those modern requests and situations.

>Q - WHAT IS THE JURISDICTIONAL LAW OF THE TRUST? A. The jurisdictional l=
>aw of the Trust is the Trust Act of Belize, 1992.
>

Mike: Speaking of jurisdiction, if you cross state lines after
stealing a car
in order to get out of the jurisdiction of the cop chasing you,
then
you've just commited a federal crime.
Tom: How do you know that?
Mike: I know from experience, er I mean...uh, uhm, YEAH!

>Q - CAN I CHANGE THE JURISDICTION OF THE TRUST TO ANOTHER COUNTRY IF I F=
>EEL THE NEED?
>A. Most certainly!

Tom: The Three Stooges ref here just makes itself, so I don't have to.
Crow: Much like the scrubbing bubbles.

>That's one thing that is so great! For protection, th=
>e TRUSTEE can change the jurisdictional law of the Trust, at will. This i=
>s only one way to keep litigants at bay, endlessly.

Mike: Another way is through the creative use of barbwire and long
sticks.

>The Protector may als=
>o perform this function.
>
>Q - WHAT IS MEANT BY A "SPENDTHRIFT"

Crow: A cheap bastard.

>OR "PROTECTIVE" TRUST?
>A. In the event that the BENEFICIARY becomes insolvent or any part of hi=
>s property becomes liable to seizure

>or sequestration for the benefit of =
>his creditors, the Trust has the right to minimize the BENEFICIARY's inte=
>rest in Trust funds to a degree necessary to prevent such action from hin=
>dering the smooth

Mike: Shave of a Braun razor.

>operation of the Trust. It is designed to protect the B=
>ENEFICIARY against his own incompetence or inability to properly handle m=
>oney or property.

Tom: Much like Microsoft. Designed to relive the incompetent of money
troubles
by takeing away the money.

>Q - DOES THE TRUSTEE NEED TO BE BONDED?

Mike: Bonded. James Bonded.
Bots: <Groan>

>A. The laws of Belize have not required bonding until recently. Belize Of=
>fshore Services LTD. as Trustee is in the process of obtaining a bond.
>
>Q - HOW DO I GET MY CURRENT INCOME SHIFTED TO THE TRUST?
>A. There are a couple of ways to do this. One is to ask your employer to=
> pay the Trust directly for work that you perform. Most of the time, this=
> won't work because the employers (or payroll clerks) are not familiar w=
>ith Trusts and they get scared.

Mike (as clerk): I live in fear of the Trust.
Crow (as clerk): It's the Trust!
All (as Brittish clerks): Run away! Run away!

>If you are an independent contractor, th=
>is should be easier to do. Simply have the employer pay the Trust, using =
>the Trust EIN instead of your own Social Security Number.

Crow: You have an SS number so the SS can find you easily.

>If you are self-employed, you have the easiest method to set this up. You=
> establish that you are working FOR the Trust as an independent contracto=
>r and not an employee. Your pay can be in the form of money in addition t=
>o benefits like paying your rent, light bill, etc.

Tom: Feeding your family, unimportant stuff like that.

>
>Q - HOW DO I RECEIVE COMPENSATION FROM THE TRUST FOR MY SERVICES PERFORME=
>D?

Crow: A. You do not. The trust is not sentient. The trust can not pay
you.
Tom: Unless the property you put into the trust is a slave or
something.

>A. This is best done as an agreement, in writing, and documented in the =
>Trust Minutes, that you are an independent contractor working for the Tru=
>st in whatever capacity you have chosen. Spell

Mike: Unlike fanfic authors who have chosen NOT to spell.

>out the details as to how =
>you are to be paid, whether it's based on a pay schedule or as a commissi=
>on / percentage structure, etc. or some combination of all the above. =
>The whole thing is really up to you. How do you WANT to be paid? Put it d=
>own in writing.

Tom: Much like the notice of savings from AT&T.
Crow: Use AT&T For long distance service, or the Death Star will blow
up your house.

>
>Q - HOW MUCH CAN THE TRUST PAY FOR MY EXPENSES?
>A. There's really no limit, within reason. Just don't be silly about it =
>and expect the Trust to pay out more than it receives each month or more =
>than it's worth, etc. It has to be workable! =
>

Mike (as Richard Simmoms): Work that trust, feel the burn!

>
>Q - HOW PROPRIETARY IS THIS INFORMATION IN THE TRUST DOCUMENT?
>A. The information contained in the Trust Minutes is VERY CONFIDENTIAL A=
>ND PRIVATE! The TRUSTEE is NOT allowed to disclose this information to ou=
>tsiders without just cause. =
>

Crow: Just cause.

> =
>
>Q - WHO IS ENTITLED TO SEE COPIES OF THE TRUST DOCUMENTS? A. Since you h=
>ave the only copy you can decide who to distribute it to.

Tom: UN-authorised...
Mike: NO! Bad robot.

>Q - HOW IS THE "INTEREST" OF A BENEFICIARY CLASSIFIED AND DEALT WITH?
>A. The "interest" is classified as "personal property" and can be sold, =
>traded, charged, or otherwise dealt with in any manner whatsoever.
>
>Q - WHO MAY BE THE SETTLOR?

Crow: Everyone can be a settlor, in Sid Meyer's Colonizatione

>A. Any person who has, under the law of Belize, the capacity to own and =
>transfer property may be the SETTLOR of the Trust. The SETTLOR may also b=
>e the TRUSTEE, BENEFICIARY or PROTECTOR; although this is not recommended=
>=2E

Mike: Reading this post before operating heavy machinery is not
recomended.

>
>Q - DOES THE SETTLOR HAVE TO LIVE IN BELIZE? A. No. The SETTLOR cann=
>ot be a resident of Belize to comply with the "exempt" ruling.

Tom: You said that already dumb-ass.

>Q - WHAT ARE THE SETTLOR'S DUTIES ONCE THE TRUST IS FORMED?

Mike: The settlor can build ye olde roade, ye olde citie, and ye olde
irrgation
square.

>A. The SETTLOR's position is this: He is the person who initially wants =
>to settle the Trust. He contracts with the TRUSTEE to accept his initial =
>contribution of money into the Trust in exchange for the Trust Certificat=
>e Units (TCUs). He then issues a letter of wishes for the distribution of=
> the TCUs to the BENEFICIARY. After that, the SETTLOR steps out of the pi=
>cture. He no longer has any active management duties

Tom: Just like the Queen of England!

>or ties to the Trust=
> funds. =
>
>Q - WHO MAY BE THE TRUSTEE?
>A. Any person who has, under the law of Belize, the capacity to own and =
>transfer property, may be the TRUSTEE of the Trust. The TRUSTEE may also =
>be a corporate or artificial entity.

Crow: My computer virus has can be a trustee!
Mike: Computer virus, that explains the bomb.

>The TRUSTEE may also be the SETTLOR,=
> BENEFICIARY or PROTECTOR.

>Q - DOES THE TRUSTEE HAVE TO LIVE IN BELIZE?
>A. No. The Trust document specifically states that the TRUSTEE does not =
>have to be a resident of Belize. However, P.I.L.L. thinks this is a good =
>idea.

Tom: They also think above ground nuclear testing is a good idea too.

>Q - WHAT ARE THE TRUSTEE'S DUTIES ONCE THE TRUST IS FORMED?
>A. Once the Trust if formed, the TRUSTEE has the daily duty of maintain=
>ing the Minutes

Mike: And now the meeting of the Clairvoyant Society will come to
order.
The secratary will now read the Minutes of next week's meeting.

>concerning any activity of the Trust. If the Trust decide=
>s to purchase or sell some of it's assets, these things must be recorded =
>in the Minutes of the Trust. If the TRUSTEE should so choose, he may deci=
>de to delegate some of the day-to-day operations of maintaining the Trust=
> to another person called the

Crow: Delgate.

>General Director or the General Trust Manag=
>er. If no other person is appointed, the TRUSTEE retains those duties.

>Q - IS THE TRUSTEE LIABLE FOR ANY MISTAKES OR BAD JUDGMENTS OF THE TRUST =
>FUNDS?
>A. No, not really.

Tom: Well sort of. Sonsidering that the Trust Fund can't make
descisions for
itself, then it couldn't make mistakes or bad judgements. But if it
could,
you'd be screwed.

>As long as the TRUSTEE can show reasonable care in se=
>lecting his options and making decisions, he is not personally responsibl=
>e to the Trust for any shortcomings

>from those bad judgments.
>
Q - WHAT IS THE MINIMUM AND MAXIMUM NUMBER OF TRUSTEES ALLOWED? A.
At l=
>east one (1) and not more than four (4) TRUSTEES.
>
>Q - WHO MAY BE THE BENEFICIARY?

Mike: anyone who would stand to benifit.

>A. A BENEFICIARY may be identified by name or by reference to a relation=
>ship to some other person, whether living or not at the time of creation =
>of the Trust. A BENEFICIARY may also be a certain "class" of individuals.=

Crow: The author of this post must be a Republican, because he
discriminates
by class.
Mike: That was just mean Crow.
Crow: I'm evil!

> A BENEFICIARY may also be the SETTLOR, TRUSTEE OR PROTECTOR; although th=
>is is not recommended.
>
>Q - DOES THE BENEFICIARY HAVE TO LIVE IN BELIZE?
>A. No, in fact, the BENEFICIARY cannot live in Belize.

Tom: So the class of people would be people who don't live in Belize.

>Q - WHAT IS THE BENEFICIARY'S OBLIGATIONS OR RIGHTS ONCE THE TRUST IS FOR=
>MED?
>A. Since the Trust assets are not yet vested in the BENEFICIARY, he has =
>no voice in the management or the day-to-day operations of the Trust. Thi=
>s is also because of it being a "spendthrift" type of Trust which is desi=
>gned to protect the BENEFICIARY more than a normal type of Trust. The BEN=
>EFICIARY does, however, have "Interest Bearer Shares" that can be traded,=
> put up as collateral, sold, or dealt with in any manner whatsoever. This=
> does give the BENEFICIARY some present benefit of being a BENEFICIARY.
>
>Q - CAN A BENEFICIARY BE REPLACED ONCE APPOINTED?

Tom: The important thing is how much does it cost.
Crow: Just the price of a hitman.

>A. Yes. The TRUSTEE reserves the right to replace or appoint additional =
>BENEFICIARIES at will. Most offshore Trusts have this stipulation that pe=
>ople are not aware of. The Protector may also perform this function
>
>Q - ARE THERE ANY ADDITIONAL RIGHTS OR POWERS DUE A SHARE HOLDER?

Mike: They have the right to remain silent, yadda, yadda, yadda.

>A. The BENEFICIARY may give to the TRUSTEE, a letter of wishes with rega=
>rd to the exercise of any functions conferred on the TRUSTEE by the terms=
> of the Trust. But remember, the TRUSTEE does not have to respect

Crow: Authority, and is in fact encouraged to be a hoodlum,
Tom: Well with all the unethical legal advice going around, that can't
hurt.

>those w=
>ishes and will not be accountable in any way for his failure or refusal t=
>o do so. Without the BENEFICIARIES being vested of Trust assets, they =
>have no further obligations or powers until such time as the assets are d=
>istributed.

>Q -WHAT HAPPENS TO THE BENEFICIARY's RIGHTS UPON HIS DEATH?

Tom: They go away unless he becomes an undead, in which case it gets
into
a gray area.
Mike: Not to mention a wierd one.

>A. Any rights bestowed upon the BENEFICIARY because of his holding any I=
>nterest Bearer Shares, will terminate upon his death unless a "Transfer O=
>f Beneficial Interest Upon Death" form is on file with the Board of Trust=
>ees. =

All: In Triplicate

>Q - HOW DOES A BENEFICIARY ARRANGE TO HAVE THAT FORM ON FILE?

Tom: Put it on top of a cake. See, cause you put the file in the cake,

and...ah screw it.

>A. The BENEFICIARY simply needs to request a form from the Board and com=
>plete it as soon as possible thereafter. The BENEFICIARY shall appoint wh=
>omever they shall choose to fill the position of Successor-Beneficiary. O=
>nce that form is on file, the transfer of rights is automatic upon the de=
>ath of the BENEFICIARY. =
>
>Q - WHO IS THE PROTECTOR?

Mike: A guy from a bad sci-fi movie.
Crow: A guy from a good sci-fi movie.
Tom: A guy from a comic book.
Mike: It's alll these things and more!

>A. P.I.L.L. is the PROTECTOR of the Trust.

Crow: No, a pill is someting a junkie takes to get high.
Mike: Crow, there are many legal, healthful, uses for pills.
Crow (whiny): But those aren't funny!1

>Q - WHAT IS THE FUNCTION OF THE PROTECTOR AFTER THE TRUST IS FORMED?
>A. The PROTECTOR's job is to watch over the TRUSTEE

Tom: And protect him or her. Boy, maybe they should call this SPAM
"Off$hore
Tru$t Fund$ for Total Dumma$$e$."
Mike: Don't do the dollar sign things again.

>and make sure they p=
>erform their role as per the wishes of the

Mike: Magic genies.

>SETTLOR. The PROTECTOR has the=
>power to remove and/or appoint a new or additional TRUSTEE. The PROTECTO=
>R may also be the SETTLOR, TRUSTEE or the BENEFICIARY.

Crow: Or the banker while playing Monopoly!

>
>Q - CAN THE PROTECTOR FIRE A TRUSTEE FOR NO REASON?

Tom: The Protector can decide who lives and who dies!
Crow: But I had dibs!

>A. Yes. The PROTEC=
>TOR can get rid of a TRUSTEE if this becomes advisable.
>
>Q - DOES THE PROTECTOR HAVE TO LIVE IN BELIZE?
>A. No. In fact, the PROTECTOR cannot live in Belize in order to satisfy =
>the requirement of being an "exempt" Trust.

Mike: So the countries laws are designed to help foreigners and to
prevent
it's citizens from investing in Trust Funds?
Tom: Pretty much.

>
>Q - WHAT IS A GENERAL TRUST MANAGER OR A GENERAL DIRECTOR?

Crow: Or a General Store, or a General Panic, or a General Mills
Cereal or a...
Tom: Enough!

>A. These are different titles that refer to the same basic position.

Mike (announcer voice): Belizeien law brought to you by the Redundancy
Department
of Redundancy.
Tom: Aww, I wanted to make that riff.
Mike: Next time.

>At =
>any time, the TRUSTEE may choose to delegate the day-to-day duties of man=
>aging

Crow: Oooh, Unix help! Must be why it was crossposted to alt.2600. Try
it Servo.
Tom: $man aging
Mike: No dollar signs in the riffs.
Crow: #rm -r /home/mike/
Mike: Mike: Come on, we can't fight amongst ourselves.

>
>the Trust Estate to a qualified TRUSTEE or a qualified non-trustee.=

Crow: Face it Nelson, you just can't take the heat.
Mike: I can too you C3P0 rip-off!
Crow: Well, yo mama's more annoying that that robot.

> The title of that person may be the General Trust Manager or General Dir=

Mike: Oh, you want to bring mothers into this, well...IT'S NOT FAIR
DAMNIT!
CROW DOESN'T HAVE A MOM TO MOCK!

>ector. An independent contractor relationship shall exist for the positio=
>n to take effect.

Crow: Time for insults FAQ style!
Q - What's the difference between Mike Nelson and Denis Rodman
A - One's a cross dresser, and the other is a cross dresser that
can
play basketball!

>Q - DOES THE GENERAL TRUST MANAGER HAVE TO LIVE IN BELIZE? A. No. There =

Mike: Geez Crow, is that the best you can do? Here's one.
Q - Why won't Microsoft steal Crows design and come out with a
Crow 95
A - It sucks too much for them.

>is no residency requirement for the GTM or the GD.
>
>Q - WHAT ARE THE ON-GOING DUTIES OF THE GENERAL TRUST MANAGER ONCE THE TR=
>UST IS FORMED?

Crow: That was low, but not as low as your sperm count!

>A. If the position of the GTM or GD has been established, it is assumed
>that they will

Crow: Be on top!
Mike: No interupting an argument for something good, like dirty
riffing.
Crow: Yo mama has a dirty riff.
Mike: What the hell does that mean?
Crow: You know.

>have full control of the day-to-day operations of the enti=
>re Trust Estate, including, but not limited to operating the checking ac=
>count

Tom: Also includes savings accounts.
Mike: That was lame.
Tom: Not as lame as your and Crow's insult fest.
Crow: He's right. Let's call a truce!
Mike: Okay. (Shakes Crows arm)

>
>Q - WHY IS AN INDEPENDENT CONTRACTOR AGREEMENT NECESSARY FOR THE POSITION=
> OF GENERAL TRUST MANAGER?

Crow: He's the only one flexible enough.

>A. This is so that the Trust does not have to establish an employer-empl=
>oyee relationship, thus saving the expense of paying unemployment taxes a=
>nd workmen's compensation taxes.

Tom: Gotta love tax evasion.
Mike: Now Tom, if you're rich it's called getting an accountant.

>
>Q - CAN ANY OF THE OFFICERS HOLD MORE THAN ONE POSITION IN THE TRUST STRU=
>CTURE?

Crow: Unlike on Ratliff's Enterprise, in which all officers serve the
same
position all the time: under Marissa.
Mike: Now that's just plain wrong.
Tom: Don't put that though in my head.
NO00OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Crow: You'd expect a no like that to have several exclamation points
and
other ascii characters.
Tom:
!!!!!@&^*(@!@&*%&*!@!!!!@!@$%(!!!!*!!$!!$!@!!!!!!!!!!!$#^#&!!!!!!!!%!!!!!
Crow: There they are.

>A. Yes, as noted above, all the positions: SETTLOR, TRUSTEE, BENEFICIARY=
> and PROTECTOR can be held by one (1) person or entity.

Mike: Although depending on the wieght of the persons filling those
positions,
it can get pretty heavy.

>
>Q - CAN AN OFFICER RECEIVE COMPENSATION FOR MORE THAN ONE POSITION?

Crow: Actually yes, you see...
Mike: Don't go there Crow.

>A. Yes, the Trust Indenture allows for remuneration

Tom: Remeber to remunerate your car regularly or you may run out of
munerate.

>for a Trust officer =
>holding more than one position within the structure.
>
>Q - BECAUSE CERTAIN TRUST OFFICERS ARE VESTED OF THE INTEREST OF THE TRUS=
>T ASSETS, DOES THAT MAKE THE TRUST ASSETS A PART OF THEIR INDIVIDUAL ESTA=
>TE?
>A. No! Under no circumstances are the assets of the Trust Estate to be i=
>ncluded in the estate of the Trust officers, individually or separately.
>
>Q - IF A TRUSTEE BECOMES INSOLVENT

Tom: Then he or she may not be dissolved.
Crow: Not even by the Blob?
Tom: Well, that's a tough one, but I'll have to say no.
Crow: Ahh, Bloby can't dissolve this guy.
Mike & Tom: Bloby?

>OR HIS PROPERTY IS LIABLE TO DISTRAINT=
>, SEIZURE OR SIMILAR ACTION, CAN THE CREDITORS ATTACH TRUST ASSETS?
>A. Absolutely not! The Trust is a distinct and separate entity, apart fr=
>om the TRUSTEE's personal estate.

Mike: As said on the previous question. This guy needs to remeber what
he's
already said.

>Q - CAN A MULTI-LAYERED STRUCTURE BE SET UP WITH A BELIZEAN TRUST?

Tom: I put my Chocolate Layer Cake into the trust.

>A. Absolutely! There are numerous ways to establish a multi- layered str=
>ucture. The easiest is setting up a second Trust as the BENEFICIARY of th=
>e first Trust. Then setting up a third Trust as the BENEFICIARY of the se=
>cond Trust. You can have one umbrella Trust having multiple subsidiaries =
>off of that or have one of the Trusts be an underlying umbrella by being =
>the BENEFICIARY of multiple brother-sister Trusts.

Crow: Well laws may not have genders, but trusts do.

>Everybody has their ow=
>n preferences.
>
>Q - CAN THE BENEFICIARIES FORCE

Tom: The beneficiary is a Jedi?
Crow: It's old Beneficiary Kenobi.
Tom & Mike: <Groan>

>A TRUST TO TERMINATE

Mike: I'd like to terminate the poster of this.
Tom: Where's a death dealing naked cyborg from the future when you
need one.

>AND DISTRIBUTE THE F=
>UNDS?
>A. Normally they could, under a Belizean Trust. But since we wanted the =
>TRUSTEE to remain in total control, we elected to write this as a "spendt=
>hrift / protective" Trust which excludes the ability of the BENEFICIARIES=
> to take control with a majority vote.
>
>Q - WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED THAT THE TRUSTEE DOES NOT HAVE TO HONOR A LETT=
>ER OF WISHES FROM THE BENEFICIARIES. DOES THE TRUSTEE HAVE TO HONOR A LET=
>TER OF WISHES FROM THE SETTLOR?
>A. Again, no. The TRUSTEE has total control of the Trust Estate and does=
> not have to report or justify to anyone, his actions, so long as he does=
> not endanger his fiduciary relationship he has with the BENEFICIARIES.

Mike: It's a little more than fiduciary if you know what I mean.
Tom: I'm shocked. I'm perplexed. I'm strangely curious.
Mike: Crow must be rubbing off on me.
Crow: Oh no, I'm not programed for back rubs Nelson, and if I were,
I'd shoot
myself with an electromagnetic shotgun.

>
>Q - CAN I OPEN AN OFFSHORE BANK ACCOUNT WITH THIS TRUST?
>A. Absolutely! You can maintain any number of accounts you feel is neces=
>sary for the proper operation of the Trust. We recommend that you form an=
> International Business Corporation (IBC) and

Tom: And sell Bootleged Internation Buisness Machines Overseas (BIBMO)
Mike: Were trying to make an acronym to spell bimbo?
Tom: No, I was trying to spell "Dibsmoe", because I think Moe the
bartender
wants dibs on something.

>open a bank account in the =
>name of the IBC.

Crow: I take this land, in the name of the IBC.

>Q - HOW MUCH DO I NEED AS A MINIMUM TO OPEN THE ACCOUNT?
>A. A minimum amount of U.S. $1,600 will get you started, including any a=
>nd all fees you will incur in establishing the account. =
>

Mike: Plus appropriate bribes.

>
>Q - WHO WILL OPEN THE ACCOUNT FOR ME?

Tom: Please ad me to the account mailing list <suc...@aol.com>

>A. Belize Offshore Services LTD. in Belize will handle the physical task=
> of going to open up the account on behalf of the Trust. =

Crow: Because we know that the trust is a big fat lazy guy name Larry.

>Q - WHAT FEES ARE CHARGED TO SET UP THE ACCOUNT FOR US?
>A. Your Trustee will quote a fee. Usually it includes out of pocket expe=
>nses plus a nominal administrative fee.
> =
>
>Q - WHAT WILL BE MY OPENING BALANCE AFTER ALL THE FEES ARE PAID?

Tom: What is this, a gymnastic routine?

>A. U.S. $1,500.

>Q - CAN I GET A CREDIT CARD TO USE IN MY OWN COUNTRY TO DRAW UPON THAT TR=
>UST ACCOUNT?
>A. Yes, we have several connections that will allow you to set up a secu=
>red credit card account whereby you keep a monthly balance in the account=
> and draw upon it throughout the month.

Crow: Q - If I do that, does the credit card have to be mine.
Mike: A - No. We encouarge you to destory all evidence of this act.

>Q - IF I START WITH U.S. $1,500 IN MY ACCOUNT, WHAT WILL MY LIMIT BE FOR =
>SPENDING?
>A. You will start with a drawable balance of U.S. $1,000. That's the mos=
>t lenient ratio we've seen so far. New policies are introduced all the ti=
>me with various banks so we are always on the lookout for even better dea=
>ls.
>
>Q - DOES THE TRUST NEED AN EIN OR A TIN TO OPEN THIS ACCOUNT IN IT'S NAME=
>A. No. There is no identifying information necessary.
>
>Q - IS MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER REQUIRED IN ANY WAY TO OPEN THAT ACCOUNT?

Tom: A - Yes, just send your SS nmber to the folowing email adress:
Paz...@yourscammed.com

>A. Not at all! Your personal social security number is never required on=
> any paperwork whatsoever to accomplish this task.
>
>Q - HOW SAFE ARE THE FUNDS IN THE BANK?
>A. Belize's economy is quite stable and we do not foresee any problems wi=
>th their monetary system or we wouldn't be establishing this program at t=
>his time.

Mike: Yes you would, you're greedy bastards.

>We've looked at a number of Offshore countries and we are confi=
>dent in having chosen Belize as our first choice.
>
>Q - DO I STILL MAINTAIN CONTROL OVER MY FUNDS? A. Yes, and no! Your Trus=
>tee has control!

Tom: The Trustee has Talia? Must be a B13 plot.

>Your access is through a "Letter of Wishes."
>
>Q - WHO HAS ACCESS TO THE TRUST FUNDS IN THE ACCOUNT IN BELIZE? A. Only =
>the TRUSTEE of that Trust will have access to the funds.
>
>Q - FOR WHAT REASON WOULD I WANT TO "REGISTER" MY TRUST IN BELIZE?
>A. I really don't know why someone would go through the trouble of estab=
>lishing a private relationship through a Trust,

Crow: But then again, I'm an idiot.
Mike: I know that, you don't have to be proud of it.

>settled in a foreign coun=
>try, and then go ahead and register it with that government if they didn'=

Crow: You know what yo' mama's proud of? The fact that she only has
the
gravitional pull of moon.
Tom: Don't start you two.

>t have to. You may have different thoughts on this though. You have a cho=
>ice.
>
>Q - CAN I CONDUCT BUSINESS IN THE COUNTRY OF BELIZE UNDER THIS TRUST AGRE=
>EMENT?
>A. No, you cannot conduct business with a Belizean resident nor may the =
>Trust own any Belizean real property under the Trust name. There are, how=
>ever, several ways to get around that by using what is known as a "flushi=
>ng method"

Mike: Which consists of turning the handle on the side of the bowl.

>to pass funds to anyone at anytime. You really should discuss =
>this with the Trustee.
>
>Q - CAN I CONDUCT BUSINESS IN MY OWN COUNTRY UNDER THE NAME OF THE TRUST?=
>A. Absolutely! Simply treat this like a real person and you will underst=
>and more of how a Trust can operate. The Trust can buy, sell and trade as=
>sets at any time or start up any new business activity that the TRUSTEE s=
>ees fit and appropriate.
>
>

Mike: Author of this post held down the enter key for too long.

>
>
>Q - DO YOU OFFER AN INVESTMENT PROGRAM FOR OUR TRUST FUNDS TO OBTAIN BETT=
>ER THAN AVERAGE RATES OF RETURN?
>A. Yes, most certainly! Belize Offshore Services LTD. has several of the=
> finest programs that are available that can earn a very nice rate of ret=
>urn for your investment dollars. Belize Offshore Services LTD. have on-sh=
>ore programs as well as offshore choices. Consult with Belize Offshore Se=
>rvices LTD. on an individual basis for more details.
>
>Q - WHAT IS THE EASIEST WAY TO TRANSFER A HOUSE INTO THE TRUST?
>A. The easiest way is to use something similar to a "Quit-Claim" deed. T=
>his relinquishes your ownership in the real property but does not remove =
>your obligation to the "note" in which you promised to pay the entire bal=
>ance. As long as the payments are still being paid, the mortgage company =
>should not call the note due.
>
>Q - WHAT IS THE EASIEST WAY TO TRANSFER AN AUTOMOBILE INTO THE NAME OF TH=
>E TRUST?

Crow: Step one, fold name of trust into the shape of a bowl. Step two,
place
name of trust at bottom of cliff. Step three, drive off cliff. All too
easy.

>A. One of the easiest ways to avoid the minimum tax on the transfer of t=
>he title is to go down to the registration / tag office and pay the small=
> fee to "add" a name to the title. Then, you wait about 30 days and go ba=
>ck down and pay the fee again to "remove" your name from the title, thus =
>leaving only the Trust name on it.
>
>Q - HOW DO I TRANSFER PERSONAL GOODS AND HOUSEHOLD FURNISHINGS?
>A. Simply use one of the "Bill of Sale" forms that is included in the Tr=
>ust package.

Mike: Should you run out of these bills, you are screwed.
Crow: All these opputonities to get screwed, must be why he chose the
alt.sex.* groups to SPAM the hell out of.

>It clearly states a value and date that the transfer was mad=
>e. It is made a part of the Trust documents and Minutes which become a pa=
>rt of the permanent record of the Trust activities.

Tom (as Principal Skinner): I'm afraid young man that this will go on
your... *permanent record*
(echoing self as on Charter Ridge commercials)
permanent record, permanent record, permanent record.

>Q - AS FOR BUSINESS TACTICS AND STRATEGIES, HOW CAN THIS BELIZE TRUST HEL=
>P ME?
>TRUSTEE can borrow funds in the name of the Trust.

Crow: Trustee can choose not to pay back loan, and get away, because
he used
a flase identity.

>TRUSTEE and BENEFICIARY can borrow from the Trust.
>TRUSTEE can designate third parties to hold funds in their name if necess=
>ary.
>TRUSTEE can hire outside agents,

Tom: Secret agents?
Mike: Press agents?
Crow: De-coagulating agents?

>etc. without previous permission.

Tom: Or notes from their mothers.

>TRUSTEE can use Trust funds to buy anything he feels is necessary,
>including real

Crow: Booze!
Mike: Booze, it does a Trust Fund good.

>property and the improvements thereon.
>TRUSTEE can make interest-free loans to people including the BENEFICIARY.=
>
>TRUSTEE can provide Trust property (i.e. real property) rent-free to pers=
>ons if necessary.
>TRUSTEE does not have to honor "letter of wishes" from either the SETTLOR=
> or the BENEFICIARY, but he may do so.
>TRUSTEE may distribute Trust funds to any one Beneficiary as >necessary.
>Anyone loaning or advancing funds to the Trust is not obliged to see >the =
>application thereof.
>BOTTOM LINE: TRUSTEE has ALL the BENEFITS and NONE of the LIABILITIES. >He=
>has full discretion as long as he does not jeopardize his fiduciary >rela=
>tionship to the BENEFICIARY
>iD

Mike: Software! Don't imitate their games, in real life, unless you
imitate on the author of this SPAM.

># 6932

Crow: I am not a number, I am a free man!

>OFFS...@Hotmail.com

Mike: It's on FIRE!

>http://www.webspawner.com/users/OFFSHORE1/

Crow: We have a web addressm let's make with the SYN flood!

>OR WHAT REASON WOULD I WANT TO "REGISTER" MY TRU=80=00=00=00=BA=00=00=00w=
>=00=C7=00=00=00s=00J=01=00=00o=00K=01=00=00j=00Z=01=00=00e=00\=01=00=00b=00=
>^=01=00=00`=00=82d=00=00\=00=CEd=00=00W=00=D0d=00=00S=00X`=F0=00=00=00x`=B2=

Tom: The hex is back and it brought gibberish!
Crow (singing): The torture of the bots, the refrences to sex, the
moronic poster's thoughts, the return of the hex.

>=0Fb```X`=F6=0B=01=00=F7=0B=F0=03=00=04=12=04=00=03=1C=01=03=00=00=12=01=00=
>=02=00=01=04=00=01=18=01=04=00=01=14=01=03=00=01=14=03=00=03=14=03=00=01=14=
>
>=80=00=00=00=A3=00=00=00x=00=C9=00=00=00x=00=CE=00=00=00x=00=03=01=00=00x=
>=00\=01=00=00v=00^=01=00=00=FF=FF=8A=01=00=00=FF=FFR=03=00=00=FF=FFT=03=00=
>=00=FF=FF=94=03=00=00=FF=FF=B0=07=00=00=FF=FF=B2=07=00=00=FF=FF=F2=07=00=00=
>=FF=FF=EB
>=00=00=FF=FF=ED
>=00=00=FF=FF=1C=0B=00=00=FF=FF=D5=0B=00=00=FF=FF=D7=0B=00=00=FF=FF2=0C=00=
>=00=FF=FF=14=03=00=03=01=00=02=00=01=132=0C=00=00=99=0C=00=00=FF=FF=9B=0C=
>=00=00=FF=FF=C4=0C=00=00=FF=FF=84
>

Mike: Oh for God's sake. Make the hex stop.
Tom: If you read translate this to ascii, it's the script for the
Lassie movie.

>=00=00=FF=FF=86
>=00=00=FF=FF=AE
>=00=00=FF=FF?=0E=00=00=FF=FFA=0E=00=00=FF=FFd=0E=00=00=FF=FF=B1=10=00=00=FF=
>=FF=B3=10=00=00=FF=FF=1A=11=00=00=FF=FF=1C=11=00=00=FF=FF>=11=00=00=FF=FF=
>
>=13=00=00=FF=FF=0F=13=00=00=FF=FF5=13=00=00=FF=FF=08=14=00=00=FF=FF
>=14=00=00=FF=FF=0C=14=00=00=FF=FF=02=00=01=14=0C=14=00=00=1A=14=00=00=FF=FF=
>i=14=00=00=FF=FF=0F=15=00=00=FF=FF=11=15=00=00=FF=FFR=15=00=00=FF=FF=DA=15=
>=00=00=FF=FF=DC=15=00=00=FF=FF
>=16=00=00=FF=FF=A1=16=00=00=FF=FF=A3=16=00=00=FF=FF%=17=00=00=FF=FF'=17=00=
>=00=FF=FF=DD=1B=00=00=FF=FF=DF=1B=00=00=FF=FF[=1C=00=00=FF=FF]=1C=00=00=FF=
>=FF=B5=1C=00=00=FF=FF=AA=1D=00=00=FF=FF=AC=1D=00=00=FF=FF=EA=1D=00=00=FF=FF=
>=B3=1F=00=00=FF=FF=B5=1F=00=00=FF=FF=DE=1F=00=00=FF=FFo =00=00=FF=FFq =00=
>=00=FF=FF=AB =00=00=FF=FFS"=00=00=FF=FFb#=00=00=FF=FF=02=00=01=14b#=00=00=
>d#=00=00=FF=FF=B1#=00=00=FF=FFx%=00=00=FF=FFz%=00=00=FF=FF=AB%=00=00=FF=FF=
>t&=00=00=FF=FFv&=00=00=FF=FF=B6&=00=00=FF=FFn'=00=00=FF=FF}'=00=00=FF=FF=01=

Crow: Must, stop, hex! Blow up the hex! <Jumps into the screen and
blows up in a massive display of bright pyrotechnics.>

>(=00=00=FF=FF=03(=00=00=FF=FFJ(=00=00=FF=FF=D7(=00=00=FF=FF=D9(=00=00=FF=FF=

<Mike and Tom cough>
Mike: Well, that wasn't quite as lethal as I thought it would be.
Tom: Yeah, but where's Crow?
<Look around>

>=F6(=00=00=FF=FF=D4)=00=00=FF=FF=D6)=00=00=FF=FF_*=00=00=FF=FFa*=00=00=FF=
>=FF=02=00=01=14a*=00=00=9E*=00=00=FF=FF^,=00=00=FF=FF`,=00=00=FF=FF},=00=00=
>=FF=FFt-=00=00=FF=FFv-=00=00=FF=FF=A4-=00=00=FF=FF=3D.=00=00=FF=FF?.=00=00=
>=FF=FF|.=00=00=FF=FFz0=00=00=FF=FF|0=00=00=FF=FF=CD0=00=00=FF=FF=9E1=00=00=
>=FF=FF=A01=00=00=FF=FF=1C2=00=00=FF=FF=1E2=00=00=FF=FF?2=00=00=FF=FF{3=00=
>=00=FF=FF}3=00=00=FF=FF=02=00=01=14}3=00=00=E93=00=00=FF=FF=EB3=00=00=FF=FF=

<stops looking>
Tom: You don't think he's dead, do you?
Mike: Yeah, probaly. Let's have a moment of silence.

>=FF=FFU9=00=00=FF=FF=929=00=00=FF=FFt:=00=00=FF=FFv:=00=00=FF=FF=B5:=00=00=
>=FF=FF=FA;=00=00=FF=FF=0B<=00=00=FF=FF=02=00=01=14=0B<=00=00S<=00=00=FF=FF
>=FF=FF4>=00=00=FF=FFd>=00=00=FF=FF=DA>=00=00=FF=FF=DC>=00=00=FF=FF=18?=00=
>=00=FF=FF=98@=00=00=FF=FF=9A@=00=00=FF=FF=17A=00=00=FF=FF=19A=00=00=FF=FF=
>rA=00=00=FF=FFTB=00=00=FF=FFVB=00=00=FF=FF=BBB=00=00=FF=FFoC=00=00=FF=FF=02=
>=00=01=14oC=00=00qC=00=00=FF=FF=C2C=00=00=FF=FFDD=00=00=FF=FFFD=00=00=FF=FF=
>=8BD=00=00=FF=FF
>E=00=00=FF=FF=0CE=00=00=FF=FF=A3E=00=00=FF=FF6F=00=00=FF=FF8F=00=00=FF=FF=
>=C6F=00=00=FF=FF2G=00=00=FF=FF4G=00=00=FF=FFxG=00=00=FF=FF>I=00=00=FF=FF@=
>I=00=00=FF=FF=90I=00=00=FF=FF=93J=00=00=FF=FF=95J=00=00=FF=FFHK=00=00=FF=FF=
>=02=00=01=14HK=00=00#L=00=00=FF=FF%L=00=00=FF=FF_L=00=00=FF=FFLM=00=00=FF=
>=FFNM=00=00=FF=FF=88M=00=00=FF=FF=17N=00=00=FF=FF=19N=00=00=FF=FF@N=00=00=
>=FF=FF=C5N=00=00=FF=FF=C7N=00=00=FF=FF=00O=00=00=FF=FFrO=00=00=FF=FF=92O=00=
>=00=FF=FF=E7O=00=00=FF=FF=E9O=00=00=FF=FF@P=00=00=FF=FF=FBP=00=00=FF=FF=FD=
>P=00=00=FF=FFQQ=00=00=FF=FF=02=00=01=14QQ=00=001R=00=00=FF=FF3R=00=00=FF=FF=
>=B6R=00=00=FF=FF=B8R=00=00=FF=FF=04S=00=00=FF=FF=81S=00=00=FF=FF=83S=00=00=
>=FF=FF=ACS=00=00=FF=FF=BAT=00=00=FF=FF=BCT=00=00=FF=FFDU=00=00=FF=FFFU=00=
>=00=FF=FF=C9U=00=00=FF=FF=CBU=00=00=FF=FF=0FV=00=00=FF=FF9W=00=00=FF=FF;W=
>=00=00=FF=FF=8CW=00=00=FF=FF=C8X=00=00=FF=FF=CAX=00=00=FF=FF=02=00=01=14=CA=
>X=00=00=15Y=00=00=FF=FF

Tom: Okay reader, just page down.
Mike (Irish): Move along there, nothing more to see here.

>Z=00=00=FF=FF=0CZ=00=00=FF=FF=0EZ=00=00=FF=FF=10Z=00=00=FF=FF{Z=00=00=FF=FF=
>=D6[=00=00=FF=FF=D8[=00=00=FF=FF=19\=00=00=FF=FF\]=00=00=FF=FF^]=00=00=FF=
>=FF=B1]=00=00=FF=FF=F9^=00=00=FF=FF=FB^=00=00=FF=FF<_=00=00=FF=FFL`=00=00=
>=FF=FFN`=00=00=FF=FF=9E`=00=00=FF=FF=D2`=00=00=FF=FF=06a=00=00=FF=FF=02=00=
>=01=14=06a=00=00Ua=00=00=FF=FF=99a=00=00=FF=FF=13b=00=00=FF=FF^b=00=00=FF=
>=FF=BAb=00=00=FF=FF+c=00=00=FF=FFtc=00=00=FF=FF=D3c=00=00=FF=FF=82d=00=00=
>=FF=FF=8Dd=00=00=FF=FF=A4d=00=00=FF=FF=D0d=00=00=FF=FF=D2d=00=00=FF=FF=FB=
>^=00=00=FF=FF<_=00=00=FF=FFL`=00=00=FF=FFN`=00=00=FF=FF=9E`=00=00=FF=FF=D2=
>`=00=00=FF=FF=06a=00=00=FF=FF=02=00=01
>f=00=02=E0=3D=D0/=FF=FF=D0=02@8=D0=020*=00=01=D0=02=10;=D0=02=00=00=D0=02=
>=C8(=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=
>=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=
>=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00=00I=
>S THE EASIEST WAY TO TRA=02=00=02=00Pd=00=00=02=00=00l=00=00Qd=00=00=FF=7F=
>=FF=FF=FF=FF THE NAME OF THE TRUST?
>A. One of the easiest ways to avoid the minimum tax on the transfer of t=
>he tit=02=00=07=00 Arial=00=11=00=10Times New Roman=00=00=00tion / tag of=
>fice and pay the small fee to "add" a name to the title. Then, you wait a=
>bout 30 da

Mike: The tag scene came early today.
Tom: Let's get out of here.

<1...2...3...4...5...6>

Mike: I think cambot is trying to tell us something. What is it boy,
did Timmy fall down the well? You want us to go to the tape.

Mike: Well roll it.

Tom: I don't get it.
Mike: Maybe you should try slo-mo.

Mike: Well what do you know, Crow isn't dead, and he has my wallet.
Where is he. <The debris pile starts to move, mike pokes it with the
broom handle.>

Debris: Watch where you're poking that thing.

Tom: Crow you're alive!

Mike: We can rebuild him. We have the technology.

Crow: It's good to be back together. <Moves and makes a bionic noise.>
What do you know, you gave me my noises back.

Mike: Hold still and let me fix that. <Picks up screwdriver>

Crow: No way man! <Runs away making noises while Mike chases him
around brandishing the screwdriver like a sword in a fantasy movie.
While this wacky action is going on, the mad's light flashes. Tom
hits it with his head.>

Mike: Damn, I knew I shouldn't have said "we have the technology."

Dr. F: So my experience has created so much havoc, well you know what
they say, if you have a bomb, 9 times out of ten you have someone
trying to make a political point. The other 10% are just people who
are going to end up being chased by nuts with screwdrivers.

Mrs. F: Clayton, are you talking about bombs again. I told him he
couldn't make any after that incident in the third grade. He made a
bomb that went off in his backpack. Scared him so much he wet his
little shorts.

Dr. F: I don't have a problem with premature detonation anymore,
*mother.* My bombs go off when I... <Dr. F leans against the button,
which causes it to blow up. Dr. F's body flies into the air and lands
on the real button.>

*Fwoosh*

(V.O.) Mrs. F: Did you wet your shorts again Clayton.

>Q - WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED THAT THE TRUSTEE DOES NOT HAVE TO HONOR A LETT=
>ER OF WISHES FROM THE BENEFICIARIES.

Credits

Written by: Psykopath (t...@iglou.com)

Reason for Shittiness of Host Segments: First Host Segment

Thanks: I'd like to thank my Mama, and Elvis

Do not Taunt: Happy Fun Ball

Do Taunt: Doug Herzog; GTE Security; Me

And now, this week's quote taken out of context:
"...lest she wear me out with her coming,"
-Jesus Christ

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