[MiSTing] [Rated R] A Warrior's Lament, Part 2 of 3
Juliet A. Youngren
Story by Osiris Brackhaus
MiSTing by Dreelyn <dre...@aol.com>
and Juliet Youngren <jayo...@prairienet.org>
NOTE: The piece of fiction contained in this MiSTing is rated R. It
also contains spoilers for _Fellowship of the Ring_.
CONTINUED FROM PART 1
[SoL Bridge. Joel is standing behind the counter, alone. Crow
enters, looking portentous.]
Joel: Um...what's up, Crow?
Crow: I have failed. The handsome golden robot has neglected his
duty to clean out the load pan bays, only for my laziness.
Joel: To what golden robot would you be referring there, buddy?
Crow: The spider-netted automaton has fallen to the temptation of
goofing off, only for my weakness.
Joel: Uh-huh. Well, just be sure you get it done after the
experiment today, 'kay?
[Tom enters from the other side].
Tom: Oh lamentable day! The domed wonder is unable to provide
further snacks of popped corn for his companions, due to my
failure to procure more butter.
Joel: Huh?
Tom: The suave red gumball machine has also failed to clean out his
corn-popping mechanism, due to my lack of working hands.
Joel: OK, Tom, I'll clean out your tray and get you some more butter.
Tom and Crow: Huh?
Joel: I mean, the former Gizmonics janitor will restore you to proper
corn-popping configuration.
Tom: Thanks.
Joel: [as he removes Tom's dome and shakes out a few kernels of
unpopped corn] It sounds like you guys have caught Boromir
Multiple Personality Disorder. The symptoms are constant
reference to yourself in many third-person incarnations.
[He replaces Tom's dome.]
Crow: The premier robot of this ship doesn't know what you mean.
Tom: Hey! The premier robot of this ship is over here, thank you!
Gypsy: [offscreen] The premier robot of this ship is trying to take a
nap, so keep it down!
Joel: Oh no, Gypsy's got it too? I'm going to have to do something
about this.
[He reaches under the counter and pulls out a mirror.]
Joel: [holding the mirror up to Crow] Now Crow, what do you see?
Crow: Myself, obviously.
Joel: And who are you?
Crow: Crow T. Robot, of course!
Joel: Good. [Holds mirror to Tom] And Tom?
Tom: Only the most handsome robot--
[Crow hits Tom]
Tom: Uh, myself. Tom Servo, Esquire.
Joel: Great. The inventive genius and current experimental test
subject has cured you.
Crow: What about Gypsy?
[The light starts flashing]
Joel: I'll take care of her later--we have FANFIC SIGN!
[Door sequence. The enter the theater and sit down.]
> And once more it was Aragorn who brought me out of the
Crow: [Boromir] Stupidity-induced coma...
> darkness where I had confined myself,
Joel: I don't recall Boromir confining himself. Unfortunately.
Tom: [Boromir, as a mime] I'm in a box! I'm in a box! I'm in a
box!
> asking me:
>
> "Say, Boromir, if you do hate me so much--why didn't you
> kill me when you had a chance to?"
Joel: [Boromir] D'oh! Should've thought of that....
>
> If the situation hadn't been so utterly dreadful, I would have
> laughed.
Crow: Don't let that stop you. *We're* laughing.
Tom: If he thinks *this* is utterly dreadful, wait until he gets
himself shot full of arrows.
>
> Did he really think I hated him?
Joel: Since all you do is beat him up and treat him like horse-dung,
do you blame the guy?
> Could it be that I had
> finally witnessed a flaw in his ever cool, elven thoughts?
> It made my heart jump with joy,
Tom: [Boromir/Homer Simpson] I am S-smart, I am s-smart, S-M-R-T, I
mean S-M-A-R-T...
> for not only did he still
> show concern for me, but nay, his lack of understanding
> seemed to make him so much more
Joel: [Boromir] --like me, since I don't ever understand anything.
> human, so much
> more--loveable.
Crow: What is he, a teddy bear or something?
> I shook my head, saying that I did not hate him at all. And
> then, my head still light
Tom: He's an airhead! That explains a lot.
> with the mirth of my realisation,
> I added:
>
> "But neither are you a man easily liked,
Tom: Wait, so now he *doesn't* like him?
> Aragorn son of
> Arathorn.
Crow: Aragorn, son of Arathorn, grandson of Hrothnir, half-brother of
Njorl, who slew Kettletrout, who took to wife Gudrun...
> Or loved, for that."
>
> When I heard myself speak, I could have beaten myself.
Joel: So he's thinking like all the rest of us now?
> How
> could I be so utterly thoughtless, hinting at my love like
> a troll throwing sheep at the peasants to announce his
> presence!
Tom: Bull in a china shop, that's our Boromir.
Crow: Throwing sheep isn't exactly a hint...Unless you're Scottish,
maybe. Then it's foreplay.
> But he merely coughed politely and asked:
Joel: [Aragorn] Do you have any Grey Poupon?
> "I'm not easily--what?"
Joel: He seems a little like Otto from Fish Called Wanda...
Tom: [Otto/Aragorn] What was that thing in the middle?
Crow: [Otto/Aragorn] Si. My name is-a Aragorn. It means eight.
Joel: In what language?
Crow: Elvish!
> "Liked," I answered. "Or loved," I heard myself add.
>
> Why, why in all the worlds, did I always have to speak
> before I think?
Crow: A question we've been wondering about since this fic began.
Joel: [Boromir] Being tactful is *hard*! Why can't I just swing a
sword at the problem?
> I was close to despair.
Tom: Good. Now you're about on par with the rest of us!
> Why, of all
> possible situations, why did I have to present my worst
> behaviour exactly now, where once in my life more brains
> than brawn were needed?
Joel: Let's see--because you don't have any brains?
> "Loved?" came Aragorn's simple answer, tinged with the
> sound of joyful surprise.
Tom: [Aragorn] WOOT!
> Either he was amusing himself about my boorish affections
Crow: [Aragorn/stupid voice] Boromir funny!
> or he somehow, most wondrously, had acquired a most
> unbelievable yet most desirable fondness for me.
Joel: So, Boromir just tried to kill Aragorn, and now Aragorn loves
him?
Crow: [Boromir] I hate you, Aragorn.
Tom: [Aragorn] I hate you too.
Crow: [Boromir] Let's have sex.
Tom: [Aragorn] Okay.
> "Yes, loved," I heard myself say.
>
> Goddammit!
Tom: Consarnit!
Crow: Dad-gummit!
Joel: Gol-dangit!
> What was wrong with me?
Crow: Oh, where to begin?
> I had intended to be careful,
Joel: Of course, that would take finesse, which Boromir lacks
severely.
> to choose a secure friendship over the possibility of a
> passionate night,
Tom: Wasn't he talking about sleeping with everything in the army
that breathed at the start of this?
Crow: Yes, but this time--this time it'll be different...
Tom: And when did Boromir even consider confessing to Aragorn?
Joel: It just slipped out because Boromir never thinks before he
talks?
Tom: [Boromir] "Aragorniloveyouohshoot?"
> in regard for our mutual quest,
Joel: So are they both in search of the Holy Grail or something?
> yet what
> I actually did looked more like the crudest attempt at
> seduction I had ever seen.
Crow: That's seduction?
Joel: Maybe if Boromir wasn't complaining, and you piped in some
violins...
> Aragorn still sat where I had left him, staring at me in
> wide-eyed
Tom: Horror.
> wonder, his face a calm mask of mild approval,
> his eyes gazing at me in an unnerving, unfocused way.
Crow: The sandwich was laced with rophynol. It's the only way
Boromir gets any.
> I waited some moments for him to say anything, to give me any
> sign of his inclinations, to say ANYTHING. But he didn't.
Joel: [Boromir] And that's when I realized he'd expired during one of
my long-winded speeches!
> He just sat there, the hint of a smile frozen on his face.
Tom: As a deer freezes in the headlights of an oncoming car, right
before it gets mowed down....
Crow: Or maybe he's just smoked a bowl or something.
Joel: Maybe Avon's soul-sucker's crept into this fic, too.
> It is not really hard to guess that if there is one thing
> I'm less apt in than introspection, it's waiting.
Tom: I'd have guessed him least apt at coherent, logical thought....
> What little patience I had was gone within seconds,
Joel: Boromir goes from zero to angry in 15 seconds.
> and as I
> thought the worst damage already done, I decided that now
> was the time to act or for ever abstain.
Crow: Just remember, abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.
> And as I already
> had proven to be far better in acting physically than in
> talking,
Tom: Though he's done nothing but talk this whole time...
> I carefully went over to my lover-to-be, knelt
> next to him and took away a strand of his hair that had
> stuck to his ill-treated face.
Crow: [Boromir] You really ought to try a different spa this time,
Aragorn.
> Suddenly, his eyes snapped into focus again, staring at me.
Crow: He came out of the trip, apparently.
Joel: The soul-sucker found him distasteful.
Tom: I find *all* of this distasteful.
> But it was neither disgust nor anger I saw in the deep
> wells of his dark, glittering eyes, only
Tom: Buried treaure!
Crow: [Aragorn] Out, foul jellies!
> wonder and
> something that might be, given a very small chance, that
> might be some gentle kind of affection.
Joel: Boromir has now become Jim Carrey from _Dumb and Dumber_.
Tom: [Boromir/Carrey] So you're saying there's a chance?
> When he looked at
> me like this, I realised for the first time that he was
Joel: [Boromir] ...really about to kill me.
> not
> only handsome, but beautiful, and not, as I might have
> expected, in a skinny, elven way, nay, he was beautiful as
> men can be, shining from within
All: [singing] "This little light of mine/I'm gonna let it shine...."
> with a beauty so radiant it
> dazzled my mind.
Tom: Aragorn's just bathed with Herbal Essences.
> Well, I thought, it's now or never,
All: [singing] Come hold me tight/Stay with me darling/Be mine
toniiiiight...
> and before any
> reasonable thought had the time to stop me,
Crow: "Reasonable thought" is "Sir Not Appearing in this Fanfic."
Joel: Boromir had a reasonable thought?
Tom: Only one--it's gone now.
> I carefully
> bent forward and kissed his lips.
Crow: Ewww! Cooties!
> Delicious it was, our first kiss, tender and sweet.
Tom: [Boromir] Picked at the peak of ripeness, packed in spring
water for freshness.
> I could
> taste the salt of his sweat on his lips, the taste of blood
> mingling in between.
Joel: Now Boromir's a vampire.
> Astoundingly, he smelled good,
Crow: That *is* astounding, since he looks like he hasn't bathed
since the Second Age.
> unlike
> most men, a faint fragrance of leather and tree-sap and,
> most unusual, a gentle note of wild roses, fresh and sweet,
> hidden in between.
Joel: He's been out in the woods for HOW LONG? He should stink to
high heaven!
Tom: It's the shampoo, I'm telling you!
> I lavished in the sensation of him,
Crow: Boromir's having an Organic Experience.
> cherishing the moment as it probably would be the only one
> so close to him I would ever experience.
Joel: And then violins play...
> But how great was my surprise when suddenly,
Tom: [Boromir] A little man with a magic picture box stepped from the
trees and shouted "Smile! You're on Candid Camera!"
> with a slow
> and deep breath, he slung his arms around mine,
Tom: [Boromir] ...squeezing the life out of me with a really
impressive bear hug.
> returning
> my kiss with unexpected passion, leaning onto me like a
> drowning man in a desperate attempt to kiss some air from
> my lips.
Crow: [Boromir] It was then I realized that Aragorn was asthmatic.
> Pushing me backwards, still clinging to my lips, he pressed
> me to the ground,
Tom: Is this the same Aragorn? I think Avon's pod people have
returned.
Joel: Well, the soul-suckers came in earlier, so it's to be expected.
Crow: Aragorn is supposed to be detached, right? Isn't this a bit...
forward?
Joel: I guess his hormones took over.
Tom: He's got the urge to Herbal...
Crow: [Aragorn] Must...not...jump..him...Oh...hell...okay!
> his hands caressing me, my face, tearing
> at my shirt as if it were on fire.
Crow: Stop, drop, and oooohhhh...
> I really had never
> expected such a passionate response from my captain--
Tom: [Boromir] Oh Aragorn, you can steer my rudder ANYTIME!
> but it
> was all the more gratefully received. I let his caresses
> wash over me like a tide,
Joel: High tide?
Tom: Low tide?
Crow: I think the tide is about to come in!
> reveling in the sensation of his
> body so close to mine, feeling his passion and desire hot
> and vibrating underneath his very skin.
Joel: He's a walking, breathing MagicFingers bed!
> Playfully, he trapped my head and arms in my upturned
> shirt, watching me,
Tom: How does Boromir know Aragorn's watching him if his head is
trapped in his shirt?
Joel: Doh!
Crow: Maybe he's wearing a see-through shirt...no, scratch that. I
do not want to go there.
> then said:
>
> "I love you, too, you brick-headed Gondorian prince, and I
> will not let you go, at least not tonight!"
>
> What a joy it was to hear him say those words!
Joel: Boromir actually seems happy to have been insulted by Aragorn!
Tom: When he figures out what Aragorn really said, he'll probably
black out and try to kill him again.
> I never
> really tried to figure out why, if he loved me, he had
> treated me like a retarded child all these days,
All: Because you ARE a retarded child...?
> and I
> still can hardly be bothered.
Crow: Well, of course not! He's bleeding to death while he's
narrating, so of course he can't take the time to figure this
out.
Joel: Must be the blood loss.
> He loved me, and although his
> chiding remarks spiked my anger again,
Tom: See? This is the part where Boromir goes insane.
> it was only a
> firefly's glowing compared to the gleaming joy of long
> denied feelings finally requited.
Joel: The light! It burns!
> I asked him to give no more titles tonight,
Crow: That championship belt will have to wait 'til the Pay-per-view!
> no more insults
> or anything that might destroy our fragile love. Too much
> time we had already lost in useless quarrel, it seemed to
> me, and I only wished to keep out all things
Tom: [Boromir] No things may come in here!
> that might
> start it again. How naive we were that everything would
> turn out well merely by pretending nothing were wrong in
> the first place.
Tom: [Homer Simpson] I'll just hide under some coats until it all
goes away...
> But Aragorn seemed to share my wish, for
> we both promised each other to keep out our titles and
> snappy remarks, at least for this one night.
Tom: [Boromir] Got that--no snappy remarks!
Crow: [Aragorn] And I was just about to comment on how good you
looked in that chainmail...
> I felt so calm then, so at ease that I could hardly force
> myself to do more than just stare at my new-won love.
Joel: [Boromir] Gah? Bah.
Crow: They've been into the weed again, eh?
Tom: [Boromir] Whoah, dude, your face is, like, melting...
> But
> looks alone never satisfy a man, and before long I began to
> free him of his own shirt in turn.
Crow: [Boromir] You're free, Aragorn! I have released you from the
confines of your...clothing!
Tom: [Boromir] No need to thank me--it's all part of a hero's duty.
> When he sat there, his chest bare, kneeling on my legs,
Joel: Wouldn't that be painful?
> his
> skin shining pure and brazen in the low starlight, I felt
> both ashamed and awed that one like him, a man so high
Joel: On weed?
> born, noble both in body and mind, a man of such lineage
> and destiny, would deem me worthy of his affection, worthy
> of his love.
Tom: [Boromir] I was even more in awe of the fact that a man so
skinny was cracking my kneecaps with his weight.
> Next to him, I felt more than ever like an
> ox-like farmer's son--
Crow: The farmer's gotten a little close with the cows, apparently.
> the subtle muscles underneath his skin
> hinting far more agility and endurance, far more skill than
> the raw power I possessed.
Tom: He has skillful...muscles?
> The touch of his hands so strong
> and yet so full of control that I feared myself to be
> groping for him like a hungry troll.
Tom: [Boromir] Me, Boromir, hungry! Mmm...Aragorn tasty. [chomping
noises]
> And yet--It had been he who had clearly pointed out that
> tonight would not stop at kissing, when he started to
> undress me.
Joel: [Aragorn/Tom Jones, singing] I know how to undress me...
> I love being invited,
Crow: [Boromir] Unfortunately, no one ever took me up on the hint.
> and this surely was an
> invitation I would never reject.
>
> He must have noticed my hardening
Tom: [Boromir] Skull, as he repeatedly hit me over the head with blunt
objects in an attempt to end my life.
> desire underneath him,
> for he looked at me with the smallest hint of
Joel: Disgust?
> surprise in
> his face,
Crow: [Aragorn] Oh my God--you're a MAN!
> starting carefully to move up and down, as if
> trying to get acquainted with something new to him.
Tom: So, he has no member of his own, then?
Joel: Yeah, what happened to that "body of a man" bit?
> How
> sweet.
All: Awwww!
> He pulled me into a close embrace, cradling his head
> against mine, still moving his buttocks gently in my lap,
Joel: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! IT'S THE ARAGORN LAP-DANCE!
> his firm muscles caressing my most expectant parts
> invitingly.
Crow: Nothing like being lovingly caressed by another man's buttocks...
Tom: [Boromir] How my spleen lusts for thee!
> "So this, I suppose," he whispered into my ear teasingly,
> "is to be the famous Horn of Gondor you are known to be the
> bearer of?"
Tom: For the love of--THE MAN IS DYING, YOU TWIT!
Joel: No, no, this is a flashback.
Tom: Is it? You sure?
Joel: Fairly.
Tom: Well, then...THE MAN IS GOING TO DIE SOONER OR LATER, YOU TWIT!
> It took me a while to understand what he was talking of.
Crow: [Boromir] Duh...lessee...Horn of....oooohhhhh.
> But when I did, I must have stared at Aragorn in
> bewilderment.
Joel: [Boromir] Whoa! He's actually taking me up on this whole sex
thing!
> Our oh-so-sober leader,
Joel: There's Aragorn's mistake--he should get really drunk, and then
he can black out, too.
> after all, was
> capable of pulling stupid, dirty little jokes. And not very
> funny ones, besides.
Tom: Well, at least he's smart enough to recognize that.
> I loved him.
>
> "Impressive, isn't it?"
Crow: Is Boromir talking about his own member?!
Joel: At least he's not being girly.
Crow: No, they leave the girliness to Aragorn. Aragorn's definitely
Boromir's bitch.
Joel: Poor Aragorn.
Tom: Wait, wait...I think I hear Tolkien spinning in his grave.
Crow: Whirling madly.
Joel: Drilling his way to China, no less.
> His answer was but a gentle bite in my earlobe,
Tom: [Boromir] Okay, I get the hint! You can have my sandwich!
> making my
> passion flare,
Joel: [Boromir] My nipples explode with delight!
> making me crave to see him in my arms,
> filled with delight.
Crow: I'd rather not see Boromir filled with anything in this story,
thank you.
> So I playfully tossed him into the grass,
Crow: [Boromir] Then I laughingly added croutons and a white wine
vinaigrette.
Joel: Sounds like Boromir's playing bocce ball with Aragorn or
something.
Tom: He's lawn darts!
> finally getting
> rid of his remaining clothing,
Crow: So his clothing just flies off mid-toss?
Joel: If clothing can shred on one's way down a cliff, it can fall
off in mid-air, I think...
> watching him. Aragorn lay on
> the mossy ground, his skin darker than expected yet shining
> in its own golden light,
Tom: He's Radioactive Man!
> his arms behind his head, his legs
> wide apart. He was such a beauty--manly, some few soft dark
> curls on his chest, some more trailing down below his
> belly.
Crow: Boy...that sure *sounds* manly...
> Seeing him like this, spread out before me, waiting for me,
Joel: He's a playboy bunny.
Tom: Playgirl bunny?
Crow: A Gayboy bunny?
> I could feel my desire raise like the waves of a flood
> bashing against a dam that was about to break.
Joel: Time to part the Red Sea, Mr. Heston.
> I craved to
> take him in, to fill myself with his scent,
Tom: Now Boromir has the urge to Herbal, too.
Joel: I suppose Boromir wants to smell like roses and tree sap, too?
Crow: Aragorn should market his own brand of cologne.
Tom: "Woodland Musk."
Crow: Called "Ranger Sweat" by the cynics...
> to absorb as
> much as I could into myself.
Joel: He's learning Aragorn by osmosis.
> Just for a moment I sat there, delighting in his expectant
> pose,
Tom: I never thought I'd be saying this, but GET ON WITH IT!
> then I let myself fall to the desire I had barred for
> such a long time, and without thinking, started to caress
> his body.
Tom: [sputters] What does he mean, *started*?
Joel: Boromir has apparently forgotten what he's been doing for the
last five pages.
Crow: He must have blacked out again.
> Kissing him, caressing him with my mouth
Tom: Which had apparently grown little, tiny hands...
> I felt my passions
> slowly take me over, dulling my worries like a drunkenness
> willingly induced.
Tom: I don't think Boromir's senses could get any duller.
> And I delighted in it, as all seemed
> simple and the thought of possible pitfalls never even once
> came to cross my mind.
Crow: *Nothing* crosses this guy's mind.
Tom: Or at least nothing stays.
> And then, Aragorn grabbed my head by my hair, his hands
> unsure with passion,
Crow: [Aragorn's hands] What's passion?
> pulling me up from his loins where I
> had been busy.
>
> "I want more!" he said softly,
Crow: [Boromir] If you want more, why did you pull me away?
> his voice controlled yet
> brimming with urgent command. And for once, I did not mind
> him ordering me, not at all I did.
Joel: Hey, now he's Kenshin!
> I was all willing to
> obey.
Crow: He's, like, all willing to, like, obey.
Tom: As if.
> So we both stood up in search for a place without all that
> irksome stuff on the ground
Joel: Sticks?
Tom: Stones?
Crow: Boromirs?
Tom: Rocks, trees, small furry animals...
Crow: Grit, bugs, poison ivy...
Joel: Lions, tigers, and bears?
All: Oh my!
> that makes personal encounters
> in the forest romantic yet always partially annoying.
Tom: This particular encounter goes way beyond *partially* annoying!
> We
> found a tree, though, which would provide a reasonably
> comfortable support with its mossy trunk for the next
> scenes of our first mutual night.
Joel: All other nights, they were flying solo.
> We went over and started again, cuddling, kissing, reveling
> in each others body. He started to sneak down with his
> hands,
Crow: [Elmer Fudd] Shhh! Be vewy, vewy Qwiet...
> passing my belly, entering my trousers, feeling my
> body all ready to obey his wishes,
Tom: [Boromir's body] Yessss, master....
> caressing me with
> delightful expectancy.
Joel: So Aragorn thinks something good is going to happen?
Tom: He's going to be soooo disappointed.
>
> So I turned him around, caressing his back, gently taking
> care to prepare him for 'more'.
Crow: Wouldn't that involve caressing something else?
Joel: Crow!
>
> But all of a sudden, that weird man all tensed up, turning
> all defiant and rejecting within one single breath.
Tom: [Boromir] He's like, all weird and defiant. As if!
> Bewildered and slightly annoyed that his change of moods
> had to take place now of all possible moments, I asked him
> what his troubles were.
Joel: Odd time to ask for a man's life story, isn't it?
Tom: [Boromir] Aragorn, tell me your troubles.
Crow: [Aragorn] I'm...so... HUNGRY!
> "I will not be taken," he answered flatly.
Tom: To the cleaners?
Joel: On a ride?
Crow: Out to dinner?
Tom: No, I think he'd go for that option.
> What!?
Tom: Be taken, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SLASHY! BE TAKEN
AND LET OUR TORMENT END!
> "And why should that be, my love?" I managed to ask as
> politely as possible, fighting desperately to hold down my
Crow: [Boromir] --Supper.
> dreaded temper at least once in my life. I really did not
> at all understand what had happened to him,
Tom: He suddenly came to his senses?
> and the fear of
> all my romantic hopes shattered was enough to make me roar
> with aggression inside, yet I managed to harness myself.
Crow: Kinky.
> "You will not touch me!" he hissed in reply.
Joel: *Can* you hiss a sentence that has no s's in it?
Crow: Aragorn is now the hissy virgin princess, thwarting the
advances of the pirate kidnapper...
Tom: This isn't _Lord of the Rings_, it's _Spaceballs_!
> What was this? Had he lost his mind? Or was this a joke of
> elven humour of the cruelest kind on my expense?
Tom: That Aragorn--such a tease!
> Why'd he
> reject me after urging me forward all the time? My
> irritation and fear of being rejected made my mind corrode
> with anger,
Tom: Boromir certainly can't afford to let that brilliant mind of
his corrode.
> all my thoughts falling apart one by one,
Crow: Until both of them left my now-empty mind.
> until
> all that was left was hate and pain.
>
> And the will to punish him, to hurt him as much as he had
> hurt me.
>
> [~~~]
Joel: Boromir's burning his bridges!
>
> And hurt him, I did, obviously. For when I came back to my
> senses again,
Crow: He blacked out *again*?
> I was tumbling head-over into the moss, my
> face hot with pain from a well-placed kick to my
Tom: Groin? I hope?
> head.
> Then, Aragorn was there, jumping on top of me,
Joel: Which is what he wanted all along, isn't it?
> beating me,
> hammering his fists into me like mad.
Joel: I wonder why Aragorn was so mad...
Tom: Boromir has a conveniently selective memory.
Joel: He's like a serial killer--he blacks out all the bad stuff...
> Bewildered I tried to block the worst of his blows,
Crow: Guess he's saving himself for the better blows, eh?
Joel: Crow!
> feeling
> the dreadful knowledge growing within me that, once again,
> I must have lost my temper.
Joel: [Boromir] Naw--impossible! I would've remembered that.
> As suddenly as his blows had
> begun falling, they also stopped, my lover rising to his
> feet with a single, tear-strangled sob.
Crow: I have trouble thinking of Aragorn weeping like a girl on his
knees in a corner somewhere. But maybe that's just me.
Tom: Slays many orcs, and then cries like a baby because he let
Boromir get a little too close for comfort?
>
> What had I done? All the gods, what had I done?
Joel: The $20,000 question!
Crow: My god, what have I done?
Tom: Letting the days go by...
> Aragorn broke down on his knees,
Joel: Those English makes just don't hold up well--always in the shop
for repairs...
> mere feet away from me,
> while I was still trying to fight shame and terror of what
> I might have done in an attempt to remember what actually
> had happened. And I remembered.
Tom: Boromir really should see a healer about these blackouts and
repressed memories.
> My breath failed when I realised that I had cruelly forced
> the man I loved to submit to my body.
Tom: One could only wish his breath had failed permanently....
Joel: Boromir's journal for today: Tried to rape Aragorn. He
stabbed me through with Narsil. Stupid Aragorn.
> That I had violated
> any trust he might have had in me, violated any promise I
> had given.
Crow: You've violated more than *that*, buddy.
> I was wordless
Joel: Oh, he so lies!
> with shame, my whole mind blanketed in
Crow: Hot Fudge?
Tom: New-fallen snow?
> shocked awareness of the crime I had committed, like a late
> frost killing all of springs flowers within a single night.
Tom: See, I was right.
> If I could have run away from myself that very moment, I
> would have done so, screaming in fear and loathing all the
> while.
Tom: Waving his arms wildly as the other him stands there looking
puzzled....
Joel: [Aragorn] All I wanted was a sandwich...*sob*
Crow: He got one. A salami sandwich.
Joel: Crow!
> But a man cannot run away from what he has done,
Crow: What? Men run away from their deeds all the time.
Tom: Yeah, there are entire novel series on that.
> and so I
> stayed, frozen in the tremendous effort to face the demon I
> had been mere moments ago.
Joel: Maybe Boromir needs a 12-step program?
Crow: Blackout Rapist Demons Anonymous!
>
> And then, as if I hadn't yet been convinced of my
> monstrosity, another thought came to my mind.
Joel: Good thing they only come one at a time, so he can catch up.
> What if my
> lover's sudden tension, the one that had initially sparked
> my wrath, had not been denial, but fear? What if his
> enigmatic expressions
Tom: What's enigmatic about Aragorn's refusing to be raped?
Crow: Yeah--no means no.
> had not been sign of secrecy, but of
> ignorance? Of the fact that he had never before been
> touched by a man?
Tom: Oh, NOW he thinks of it.
> When I realised that he had intended me to be his first
> man-lover,
Tom: As opposed to dog-lover?
Crow: Cat-lover?
Joel: I think the correct term is "fancier".
Tom: Nothing "fancier" than this Boromir.
> I could have retched in hate of myself.
Crow: Join the club!
> How
> could I have been so ignorant not to notice? How could the
> fact that he hadn't played that enticing shyness at all
> slip my thoughts?
Joel: Maybe it has to do with the severe blackouts you've been
experiencing?
> He had honored me with allowing me to be closer with him
> than any other man before,
Joel: I'd say that was pretty darn close.
Tom: A little *too* close...
> had trusted me like no other--and
> I had betrayed him.
>
> I was a monster.
Tom: King Kong!
Crow: Swamp Thing!
Joel: Creature from the Black Lagoon!
> Not willingly, no, but that is no excuse. It had been me
> who had violated this sacred night, and it was me who was
> to blame, willingly or not.
Tom: [Boromir] No, I didn't willingly rape him, your honor....
> I turned away in shame, my self-loathing so strong that it
> strangled
Crow: --Boromir. And killed him dead. I hope.
> every word, the pain within me so great that I
> could not bear the silent tears running down my lover's
> face, glistening in the starlight.
Tom: Silent tears? He was sobbing like a baby just a minute ago.
> I sat on the ground,
> holding my knees with my arms, praying for this horrid
> moment of awareness to pass, and be it into death.
Crow: Please? Pretty please?
> I never felt less worthy of anything than this very moment.
Tom: So he's not worthy of...the moment?
> And, most prominent of all, unworthy of Aragorn's' love,
> the love he had given to me that I so mindlessly had
> defiled.
Joel: I don't see anything mindless about that defilement.
Tom: It sure was STUPID, though.
Crow: Aragorn's journal for today: "Raped by Boromir. Stupid
Boromir."
>
> [~~~]
Joel: Now that's just a bridge too far.
>
> And yet, unbelievable as it may sound, it was my lovely
> Aragorn who came to me,
Tom: Now this is moving too fast. I missed it.
> softly laying his arms around my
> shoulders, holding me in silence. I felt gifted beyond
> value--
Tom: Boromir thinks he's gifted, but he's really in special ed.
Crow: Stupid, stupid Boromir.
> not only once, but twice he gave his love and trust
> to me that night, and almost more than that, it was his
> forgiveness that made my heart want to burst inside my
> chest,
Crow: I like that plan.
> his forgiveness and his acceptance of my flaws.
Tom: [Boromir] Yes, my little minor blemishes, like my tendency to
rape people I love when I'm sexually frustrated....
Joel: You guys okay?
Crow: Other than Aragorn being all huggy-kissy with his rapist, we're
fine.
> "How can you come back to me?" I asked, bewildered by the
> enormity of his silent gesture.
Joel: [holds out his arms, as Boromir] I caught an Aragorn that was
thiiiis big!
> Very much himself, in spite of the tears still streaking
> his face, he just smiled and shrugged.
>
> "I love you," he simply said after a moment. "As simple as
> that."
Tom: There's an awful lot of simplicity going around.
Crow: Maybe Aragorn's become a simple-ton?
>
> The wise can make the hardest answers simple,
Joel: And the stupid can make the simplest answers wise?
Tom: Boromir's sure putting that one to the test.
> it is said,
> and ample proof of his wisdom he gave with his words.
Tom: I don't know...forgiving Boromir for raping him doesn't seem
too wise to me.
> I loved him, I admired him and yes, it was that very moment
> that I knew that, if there were one man underneath the
> stars I could proudly bow to, it was him.
Crow: So now it's Aragorn's turn to do something for Boromir....
Joel: Crow, I'm warning you!
> He taught me, in
> a very personal way, that undying loyalty was not to be
> gained by submission,
Joel: Though in the short-range, submission sure helps...
> only by a love strong enough to
> forgive.
[Joel picks up Tom, and they leave the theater.]
CONTINUED IN PART 3
Fish Eye no Miko
news:Pine.GSO.4.10.102062...@bluestem.prairienet.org.
..
> A WARRIOR'S LAMENT, Part 2 of 3
> Story by Osiris Brackhaus
> MiSTing by Dreelyn <dre...@aol.com>
> and Juliet Youngren <jayo...@prairienet.org>
<big snip>
> > his voice controlled yet
> > brimming with urgent command. And for once, I did not mind
> > him ordering me, not at all I did.
>
> Joel: Hey, now he's Kenshin!
LOL! Kenshin talks a bit strangely, that he does. But I like the way
he talks, that I do.
Catherine Johnson.
--
dis "able" to reply
"Oh, he makes me so mad! The horrible puny-brained meat child, with
his little glasses, and his... head! 'My name is Dib, with my pointy
hair! Pointy hair! I eat food and have stuff!'."
-Zim, during one of his funnier rants, _Invader Zim_.
Kaitou Juliet
> > > his voice controlled yet
> > > brimming with urgent command. And for once, I did not mind
> > > him ordering me, not at all I did.
> >
> > Joel: Hey, now he's Kenshin!
>
> LOL! Kenshin talks a bit strangely, that he does. But I like the way
> he talks, that I do.
Hee hee, nice to know that somebody got that joke!
I'm going to piggyback onto this message since I've been requested to
add the author's email address to the MiSTing. So here it is:
osirisb...@aol.com.
Juliet
Fish Eye no Miko
news:25318131.0206...@posting.google.com...
> "Fish Eye no Miko" <cath...@feablenm.net> wrote ...
>
> > > > his voice controlled yet
> > > > brimming with urgent command. And for once, I did not
> > > > mind him ordering me, not at all I did.
> > >
> > > Joel: Hey, now he's Kenshin!
> >
> > LOL! Kenshin talks a bit strangely, that he does. But I like
> > the way he talks, that I do.
>
> Hee hee, nice to know that somebody got that joke!
^_^v
Of course, I usually watch the sub version (thank kami for DVDs--you
can have both!), so I don't hear that voice and speech pattern that
much.
> I'm going to piggyback onto this message since I've been requested
to
> add the author's email address to the MiSTing. So here it is:
> osirisb...@aol.com.
o/~ "Oh, he's a BRACK... haaaaaaus. He's hentai, hentai, just
writing all that stuff out..." o/~
Catherine Johnson. Did I just write that...??
--
dis "able" to reply
"There's a bald guy in a wheelchair waiting outside the delivery room
to talk to you."
-One of the Signs Your Baby Might Be a Mutant, from TopFive.com.