MSTed: Bill Gates and Master Satan

[jnevins]

My MSTing: The Horror, The Horror


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Tom: _Man_, does this guy rap fast....

>From: kamv...@labyrinth.net.au (Louie.Kamarinos)
>Newsgroups: alt.fan.bill-gates,alt.conspiracy,alt.illuminati
>Subject: MS - Bill Gates and Master Satan (I Mean MicroSoft.)

Crow starts giggling.
Mike: Well...we might actually have to _thank_ Dr. F for this
one.
Tom: Yeah, really - I might actually enjoy this!

>Date: Fri, 29 Mar 1996 19:42:56 GMT
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alt.illuminati:17045

MS , what does it really stand for?

Tom: (singing) Absolutely nothing, HUH! Say it again!

maybe it doesn't stand for microsoft. maybe it stands for Master
Satan.

Crow: (KiTH voice) I wonder...Hecubus, what _does_ MS stand
for?
Tom: (Hecubus voice) Master Satan, master.
Crow: (KiTH voice) Evil! Impolite and evil!

why would Bill Gates (or Willy Gates as like to refer to him)

Mike: Wee Willy Gates runs through the town, Upstairs and
downstairs in his nightgown, Tirlin' at the window,
cryin' a' the door, "Are they pcs or macs? And
what's the software?"
Tom: Well, that part about Gates running through the middle of
town in a nightgown is probably accurate, anyhow.

name his company Master Satan ?

Tom: To honor his inspiration and role model?

maybe Willy gets his uses Satan for his puposes (and vise versa).

Crow: Guys, I'm beginning to get the feeling that Louie
actually _believes_ this stuff.
*silence ensues*
Tom: Uh-oh.
Mike: *sighs* I knew it was too good to be true.

why would I make this accusation?

Mike: Because the nurses finally removed your gag?

well , if money is the root of all evil

Tom: I thought the New York Yankees were.

(as all those christian chaps would have us believe) then wouldn't
the devil/satan/baal/lucifer...

Crow: Why drag Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, James Worthy, Magic
Johnson, and Pat Riley into this?

etc be the ultimate buisiness tipster? that might explain willy's
extraordinarilly successful buisiness...

Mike: I don't suppose it could actually be the computers,
could it?

what kind of buisiness tips would old belzibb hand out to
prospective euntrepanours?

Crow: Oh, I get it...he's joking. This is a joke. Right? I
mean, _nobody_ could be that poor a speller...
right? Please?

he certainly wouldn't advise you on how to work for your money that
wouldn't be very evil now would it?

Tom: Well, that depends on what work you're doing. If you're
Macauley Caulkin, for instance, of *course* your
work is evil.

he'd rather tell you how to murder,lie or STEAL for it .

Mike: In other words, follow the precepts of Jerry Jones.

Ah! That's how willy baby knew whose Operating System to _emulate_.

Crow: Renee Richard's?
Tom: (singing) Just lop away, Renee...

The devil help him with his buisiness and as a tribute willy named
the company Master Satan . why would the prince of darkness want to
help willy?

Mike: Because he was tired of the Republicans in the White
House?
Tom: Yeah, he enjoyed it at first, but even *he* couldn't stay
that low for long...

well , maybe computers play a key role in Lucifer's plans .

Tom: "Format C:" - the Tool of Satan!

if there's any truth to that whole microchip and the mark of the
beast scenario proposed first in NEXUS magazine ,

Crow: I guess we have one thing to be thankful for.
Mike: What's that, Crow?
Crow: That we don't have to read Nexus magazine.
Tom: *mumbling* But I *like* Horatio Hellpop...
Mike: What?
Tom: Nothing, Mike, nothing...

then later by those whacky conspiracy theorist ,

Mike: Jerry Lewis *IS* Deep Throat.
Crow: (Jerry Lewis voice) Oh lady you should follow the paper
trail and the thing with the Library of Congress
thing and the tapes and the thing....

those zany christian fundamentalists

Tom: It's not widely known, but Emmett Kelly actually began
his career as a televangelist in Alabama.

nd those goofy militias

Crow: (comedy voice) Here's Kooky the Clown, with the Posse
Comitatus - uh-oh, Kooky, better watch out, that
gun might not be loaded with just confetti!

then I'm sure computers and operating systems play a key role in
the NWO .

Mike: Should I tell them that "NWO" spelled backwards is
"own"?
Tom: Nah, that would only get them going on how the English
language is part of the conspiracy.

Now , Satan wouldn't want the anti-christ to have to bother with a
whole bunch of nerdy commands

Tom: Although that _would_ explain DOS.

when he's in control of a database of people with chips in thier
hand/head ,

Crow: Which is why baseball fans always look so vacant.
Tom: No, Crow - that's `cause they're watching baseball.


he'd much rather just eliminatedisobedient servents with the click
of a mouse . How would he eliminate disobedient servents?

Mike: Make them watch every minute of the Jerry Lewis Labor
Day Telethon?
Tom: The bastard!

maybe the click of the mouse would send a chrage/command to the
chip and the chip would produce a poison

Tom: Pringles - deadliest of the four food groups.

to remove/eliminate/kill
undesirable/wasteful/unproductive/disobedient servants. Either way,
inorder o do it easily/efficintly he needs a _user friendly_
Operating system and who beter to design this system than his
faithfull servant willy.

Tom: Seems to me he's more accurately describing Steven Jobs.

why would willy want to do something this weful?

Crow: "weful?"
Mike: Just don't even ask, Crow. We're almost done....
Tom: Mike, the end of the post won't get rid of the stain on
my soul...

well , maybe he's been promised a high status in the NWO

Mike: Now that Eazy-E is gone they've got an opening for lead
rapper...

ie lotsa money/power and/or maybe willy has been illuminated

Tom: Which would certainly explain how he acted in _The Great
Glass Elevator_.

and see what he is doing as the correct thing to do (for himself).

(This could explain why willy doesn't give his money to most of his
money to charity and solve a lot of the world's problems . I'm sure
if willy really wanted to he could single handedly solve that whole
world hunger thing , but he doesn't , why? maybe his master forbids
it. but he says that he'll give most of his money to charity when
he's old... so did Rockerfella

Crow: (Jerry Lewis voice) Rockerfella oh lady with the money
and the thing with the thing....

and look a the contribution the Rockerfella family has made to this
planet...)

Mike: Guys, I think we've met the print equivalent of Hal
Warren.
Tom: I thought that was Michael Crichton?
Crow: No, he's the printed Jesus Franco.

so we now know why his company might be called Maser Satan and not
micosoft , but why does willy want us to think his company is
called microsoft?

Crow: Because "Monopoly," "Bourgeois Oppressor," and "Filthy
Greedhead Weasels" were already taken?

maybe he thinks we're not ready for the truth

Tom: (computer geek voice) eeennnhhh, you can't handle the
truth, ennnhhhhh!

(ie we're not illuminated) , or maybe it's a little _joke_ the
illuminati like to play on the public

Mike: Didn't they already do that when they started selling
Amigas?

to keep themselves amused and the public confused.,

Crow: Which would certainly explain the success of Adam
Sandler and David Spade.

or maybe it's a subliminal way of getting us used to Satan/evil

Tom: Didn't the Reagan/Bush administration do that?

so we can accept the tyranny willy and his cronies will implement
on behalf of thier master.

Mike: Does Moscone really have _that_ much influence?

wait a second maybe we're being too harsh on the lad ,

Tom: Well, we're not - you SUCK, boy!

he's an alternative scenario : maybe willy really thinks his
company is called microsot.

Crow: Microsot? What, do Richard Harris and Peter O'Toole work
for Gates now?
Tom: Or maybe Wallace Beery - ha! Get it, guys - _Beer_-y?
Mike sighs heavily.

maybe the directions/instructions he recieves from his master/s are
directed to him via several mind-control techniques and he honestly
belives he is in control.

Bill Gates a victim of min control or satan's servent - You decide!

Crow: I choose C) Flaming Computer Geek.
Mike: *sighs heavily*
Tom: Is it over yet?
Crow: Why did Pearl let this happen to us?

[Lisa Duquella]

jne...@bgsuvax.bgsu.edu (jnevins) wrote:
> My MSTing: The Horror, The Horror
>

[snip]

>MS , what does it really stand for?
>
> Tom: (singing) Absolutely nothing, HUH! Say it again!
>
>maybe it doesn't stand for microsoft. maybe it stands for Master
>Satan.
>
> Crow: (KiTH voice) I wonder...Hecubus, what _does_ MS stand
> for?
> Tom: (Hecubus voice) Master Satan, master.
> Crow: (KiTH voice) Evil! Impolite and evil!

Hee, hee!

>
>why would Bill Gates (or Willy Gates as like to refer to him)
>
> Mike: Wee Willy Gates runs through the town, Upstairs and
> downstairs in his nightgown, Tirlin' at the window,
> cryin' a' the door, "Are they pcs or macs? And
> what's the software?"
> Tom: Well, that part about Gates running through the middle of
> town in a nightgown is probably accurate, anyhow.
>
>name his company Master Satan ?
>
> Tom: To honor his inspiration and role model?
>
>maybe Willy gets his uses Satan for his puposes (and vise versa).
>
> Crow: Guys, I'm beginning to get the feeling that Louie
> actually _believes_ this stuff.
> *silence ensues*
> Tom: Uh-oh.
> Mike: *sighs* I knew it was too good to be true.
>
>why would I make this accusation?
>
> Mike: Because the nurses finally removed your gag?
>

(snicker)

[snip]

>well , maybe he's been promised a high status in the NWO
>
> Mike: Now that Eazy-E is gone they've got an opening for lead
> rapper...
>

[rest of hilarious MiSTing snipped]

Bwahahahha! Net.kook MiSTing...joy, joy. Good work.

Lisa Duquella

"Ciiiiiiiinco."--David Letterman
"First things first, but not necessarily in that order."
--Doctor, MEGLOS, DW (*Doctor Who returns on May 14th on Fox!*)
"Bad movie, you're soaking in it."--Crow, MST3K