---------------------
[SOL int.] Servo, Crow, and Gypsy are behind the counter.
GYPSY: Hey guys! How are you?
SERVO: Feeling terrible.
CROW: Yeah. Jim's fainted in the theater.
GYPSY: What?!
SERVO: He's still in there, sprawled across three theater seats.
GYPSY: We've got to help him! [rushes through door number seven, which closes
after her]
SERVO: Hey, how come we never go that way?
CROW: I don't know.
-mads' sign-
SERVO: Uh, we can't hit the button.
CROW: Cambot, can you fall on the button, please?
CAMBOT: Fine, it's not enough I have to actualy film you guys watching a
movie, I have to do
your dirty work, too.
[The camera moves closer to the counter, then falls down fast. The screen goes
snowy]
[CF] Pearl, Observer, and Bobo have made a confusing flow chart on a dry-erase
marker board.
It's filled with arrows, boxes, and scrambled words.
PEARL: No, no... I think the Death Egg is actualy a warehouse somewhere in
Robotropolis, not
some big foating fortress... and look! The Great Forrest is spelled "knoyhole
forest"!
OBSERVER: Maybe if I put in the fact that Tails and Uncle Bob say "fock" every
three lines may give us
something to go on...
BOBO: Maybe if we put Frank Sinatra in the TV studio...
PEARL: How about Evil Doctor Quack? [takes red marker and draws a line from
what looks like Robotnik's
headquarters to the Great Forrest]
BOBO: Let's see...I know! The chili-dog vending machine! That may be the
missing peice!
OBSERVER: No, no! We need to put Tank Bot IV here! [draws a big black dot]
PEARL: But what about Sonic's hut? [scribbles lines in the Great Forrest]
BOBO: How about the golf store that sells golf carts?
OBSERVER: And the food court!
PEARL: Here, I'll draw a way past cool cake. [makes a bad drawing of a cake
at the bottom near
the words "Mobius Mall".
[SOL] Camera is fuzzy.
SERVO: Looks like we're more sane than them from this, at least.
[camera picture clears. Gypsy, pushing Jim, enters through door 7]
GYPSY: Okay, I got him.
-movie sign-
CROW: Put him back in the theater, Gyps! It's FANFIC SIIIIGN!!!
GYPSY: SCREW YOU ALL! [falls over]
JIM: Ow!
6...5...4...3...2...1...
[Jim, Servo, and Crow enter]
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
JIM: Stalagtites!
SERVO: No, stalagmites!
>
>Robotropolis
>
>ACTION-PACKED, EXCITING, EXPLOSIVE, HOVER-UNIT CHASE SCENE!!!!!!!!!
CROW: Is this a preview of coming attractions or something?
>Sally is driving the hover unit, Rotor throws a donut at the pusuing
>hover-bikes!
JIM: It's the Mos Isley stage in Shadows of the Empire!
>"look out SALKY!" says Rootir.
SERVO: The hell?
JIM: It's time for another host segment.
CROW: No, Jim.
>CRASH!!! The hovrunit flys right through a SWAT-House!
CROW[as SWAT wife]: Honey! What the hell are you doing crashing through my
newly-cleaned house?
>"EEEEK" drones the bot in the shower. Then it rusts from being in the
>shower.
SERVO: Then why was it in the shower to begin with?!?
>KABOOW FLUSH, THE hoverunit goes down the toilet!
JIM: So a toilet is a black hole, shrinking everything to swallowable size?
SERVO: Sure, Jim, I have proof.
>IT's in the sewer tunnels now, being chased by SWAT boats! SWAT boats
>jump in the air, TOO HIGH, it's hit the ceiling and blow up!
CROW: Third person insane singular, right?
>Justy then a SWAT bot shoos a missle at the hovrunit KABBBBOOOOOMMM!
>Sally and Rotor bail out SPLASH!!!!!
SERVO[as Ryder]: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! [jumps off and rolls across the floor]
>Rotor swims!
>"Arg" says Sally "I am droning ahhhhhhh glup glib!"
CROW: I'll say. SHUT UP!
>SWAT boys are closing in!
JIM: Then the Beagle Bots will show up...
>Jus then the sewer lid above them opens. SONIC AND THE GANG!
SERVO: Oh, fack, they survived!
>"Attention ye!" says Bob "GRab onto the shotgun" bob lowers down the
>shotgun.
CROW: Just shoot the stupid SWATS!
>Sally grabs on, Rotor grabs on!
JIM[as Sally]: Don't get any ideas.
>The SWAT bots miss them by half a inch!
SERVO: Would it be considered wrong to just have them killed?
>Then the SWAT bots drive over the edge of a waterfall!
ALL: WHAT??!!
CROW: They're in the sewer!
SERVO: Above a manhole!
JIM: They're not at the edge of a sewer pipe!
>"AHHHHH" drone the bots.
>"Phew
CROW[as Sally]: Did you let one? Oh, it's the sewer.
>we made it" says Sally
JIM: When I say
>BOOM BOOM BOOM
JIM: you say "BAM BAM BAM",
CROW: No pause in between,
SERVO: Come on, let's JAM!
>A HUUUGE SHADOW APPEARS OVER HEAD!
SERVO: Oh, no! Rosanne!
>"Hmmm" says Sonic "I think tubbo-chub is here"
SERVO: So it *is* Rosanne!
>Sure enough, Dr. Robotnik was behind the freeddom fighters.
SERVO: Oh, so I was wrong.
>"Good guess" said Tails.
SERVO: Why thank you, HEY!
JIM: Give it a rest, Servo.
>Just then GHrounder and Scratch show up.
>Snivley jumps out and scrweams "WAAAHHHHH HAAAIIII!!!!"
CROW: He's a black belt...?
>thus initiating
JIM: a crappy fight scene.
>the fight scene.
>SAlly fights Snivley BOOM BOOM BOOM!
SERVO: But it's supposed to be Sonic Fights Robotnik!
>Rotor fights Grounder "Huh huh ow"
SERVO: Sonic Fights Robotnik!
>Bunnie fights Scratch "Heh heh this is cool"
SERVO: SONIC FIGHTS ROBOTNIK!!!
>Sonic fights
>yeah
>you guessed it
>SoNIC FIGHTS ROBOTNIK
SERVO: Finaly! The title premise pays off!
>"6" says Scratch
>Tails fights robotnik too, as does Bob.
JIM: Now hang on!
SERVO: Jim, you should know that Robotnik is too much man for Sonic alone!
>Sonic spin dashes at Robotnik spinnnnnn zooooM OW!
>"HAI KARATE!" yells Tails.
>"Hye ding dong day!" says Bob
CROW[Minnessota]: Isn't this just a darling fanfic, Ethel?
SERVO[Minnessota]: Oh, yes it is, don't 'ya know?
>Shotgun shells, Laser fire, ACTION!
>Grounder is defeated! Scratch is defeated!
JIM: Like that's a big acomplishment.
>But then, Sonic gets shot by robotnik, but not shot dead.
ALL: WHY THE HELL NOT?!?
>The freedom fighters are surrounded!
>"Ha ha ha" says Robotnik "ATEENTION ROBO-BRIGATE! FORWARD MARCH!"
JIM: Robotnik switched over to Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade directing?
>100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
>SWAT bots surround the freedom fighters
SERVO: Knowing Sonic, he'll defeat them with a pop gun.
>"We are finished!" said Sonic
CROW: Sonic finaly catches on.
>"Darn tootin'" says Robotnik.
JIM: Huh?
>Just when things looked their bleekest, one SWAT bot falls over, causing
>a domino effect that makes all the other bots fall over!
CROW: WHAT!!!
JIM: Come on!
SERVO: What a crappy plot contrivance!
JIM: Couldn't you please just KILL THEM???
>Sonic and
>friends escape!
>"Oh well" says Robotnik "We'll get them next time"
JIM: No! A sequel!!!
'BOTS: AAAAAAARRRRGGGH!
>Then Snivley climbs out of a dumpster "You bloody idiot!" he says
>"I told you time and time again you've got to upgrade the fricking
>artificial intelligence chips in those bots! But NOOOOOOO lets go get
>sonic, sure with 100000000000000000000000000 bots it'll be easy
>ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG!!!!! And why don't you RUST PROOF THEM?? HUH
>MAN!?!?!??!?!" says the Sniv.
CROW: Hey, he's doing our work for us!
>"Well I would but the Robotnik show is taking up most of our budget."
>says Robotnik "Those parking lot cams aren't cheap you know"
SERVO[as Robotnik]: I'm a greedy TV-loving lump of lard who thinks with his
stomach.
>"ARRRGAGARRRRRRRR!!!" says Snivley, kicking himself in the head.
JIM: Man, if you can do that you could be considered an Olympic competitor.
>"But we CAN upgrade our fighting force!" says Robotonik "Let's rebuild
>Packbell! That will be fun!
CROW[as Robotnik]: Especialy if we put the Intel Pentium II Processor in him
this time!
JIM[Intel theme]: Ding ding dong ding!
>HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHZHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!"
SERVO: Hey! "AHZHHA"! He misspelled the easiest scentence in the fic!
>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
JIM: And one more time!
ALL: THIS WAY TO HEAVEN!
SERVO: That wasn't so bad after all!
JIM: Come on, we've got to go!
[All leave the theater]
>
>Knothole
[All re-enter]
JIM: I don't bileve this!
SERVO: I wanna go-ho-ho!
CROW: Please have mercy!
>
>"Hey what is Dr. Quack doing here" says Sally
>"He is a good guy now" says Sonic
>"ok" says Sally
JIM: We have to trust him completely so he can betray us later in Endgame.
>"OH NO MY HUT!" says SOnic
SERVO: Hasn't he gotten past that?
>Sonic walks to his hut. "Hey the fridge is still here" says Sonic. He
>takes out a mountain due and drinks it.
CROW: Five sequels and he *still* can't spell it right.
>"Ah, refreshing" says Sonic "Oh yeah, I suppose I should mention..."
JIM[as Sonic, anouncing]: Mountain Due is very refreshing.
>Sonic tells everbody about the master emerald.
JIM: Which had absolutely no help with the fanfic.
>"So that's where you were!" says Tails
>JUST THEN A SWAT MISSLE BLOWS UP THE KOSHER DELI!
CROW: No! Not our only means of salad accessories and condiments!
>"Oh no!" says Tails "Uncle Rabbi!"
>
SERVO: What's a rabbi doing working at a Kosher Deli?
CROW: And how many uncles does Tails have, anyway?
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
JIM: An all-terrain unicycle has been through here...
SERVO: We're just running the jokes through again.
>
>Rabbi Prower's funeral
>
>"He was a good fox" said Sally "A religious fox, and most of all, our
>friend fox"
SERVO[as Sally]: But he's owned by another company and billions of light years
away, so why are we worried about
McCloud?
>"Amen" said Rotor
>Chris Pettrucii sings a few metallica songs. Then they bury the Rabbi.
JIM: So no funeral music, just some *ROCK*?
CROW: Yeah.
>"waaah" said Tails (sad)
>"Yo it cool to cry at funrals tails it help cope the loss and stuff" says
SERVO: Mobie the mono-sylabic cave bear.
>Sonic comforting tails
>Then sonic gives an inspring speech "Let's get those chaos emeralds. FOR
>RABBI PROWERS SAKE!"
JIM: Why chaos emeralds?
>"Yaaay" says the crowd.
>"Aye LET'S GIT 'UM!" says Bob, loading his shotgun.
>
SERVO[as Bob]: We all's gona go emerald huntin!
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
SERVO: The shortest one yet!
>
>5 minutes later, knothole defense coordinations
>
>Sonic spins around in a chair "WHEEEEEE!"
>Tails swings on a lighting fixture "WOOOHOOOO!"
JIM: Ah, hilarious pre-war antics!
>"Order order!" says Sally
>"I want a cheeseburger" says Sonic (joke)
SERVO[sarcastic]: Thanks for letting us know that.
>"I'll have a large coffee" says Rotor
CROW: Can Uncle Bob shoot me?
JIM: Anything's possible.
[Uncle Bob walks in, shoots Crow and leaves]
CROW: I didn't mean it!
JIM: Don't play jokes with a self-insertionist.
>"Now get serious about this let's find the emneralds" says Sally
SERVO[as Sally]: Let's talk in running scentences to fool the reader I'm going
to leave.
>"OK" says everbody
>"zoogy" says Antoinne
SERVO: "Zoogy?" Even Antoine wouldn't say "Zoogy"!
>"Wher are the chaos emeralds" says Sally
JIM: A highly efective way of finding them. Just ask around!
>"Uhhhhh Knuckles has some" says Sonic
CROW: And why do you think that is, hmm?
>"LEt's go to the floting istland and get them!" says Sally
SERVO[as Sally]: But first help me get my scentences straight!
>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
JIM: It's back and it's longer then ever! The new 1998 zig-zag!
>
>Robotropile
CROW: Now that's just silly.
>
>"Doo doo doo, buildin' a robot!" sings Roboytnik
>Robotnik slaps some robo parts togetther. Snivley throws grounder and
>scratch in the garbage.
ALL: Yaaay!
>FInally, robotnik is finished. He flips the switch, hits the button and
>turns the dial.
SERVO[as radio]: And now, the Del Airs!
>"Yawn, oh hello there" says Packbell
>"HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" says Robotnik
>"Uh sir, there were some parts left over so I made a bot too" says
>Snivley
JIM[as Snively]: It's called the Wuss-Mac 2000.
>"Cool man!" says Robotnik
>Snivleys bot is a monkey. It gets up
>"HI i am COCONUTS!" says the bot "WOOOO HAAAA! IT'S DISCO TIME!!!!!"
CROW: I wanna DIEEEE! Waaaah!
JIM: Really? [Begins to snap his fingers]
CROW: NO! NO! I was kidding!
>bow-chicka-bow-chicka-womp-wow
>Robotnik and snivley and packbell disco, the siren on coconuts head acts
>as a disco light.
JIM: Meanwhile the Freedom Figters sneak in, steal Robotnik's Darth Vader
coffee mug and return to
Knothole triumphantly!
>
>/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
CROW[as Natile from Werewolf]: That's skooed up!
>
>The Floting Island
>
>Sonic walks up to Knuckels house and rings the doorbell. Knucles walks to
>the door.
>"Hey mon, what up?" says Knuckles.
JIM: Okay, stop the fanfic! Everyone go back to their regular accents!
>"Hi we need to borrow the chaos emeralds" says Sonic
>"Ok mon" says Knuckles "I'll go get them"
SERVO[as Gesture Prof.]: As he does this the Floating Island falls down, down,
down,
CROW: SERVO!
SERVO: Sorry.
>Just then robotnik and forces attack
>"WO-HA!" says Packbell
>"Mooga meek moo!" says Tails
JIM: They're the only ones fighting?
>NINJA FIGHTS
>WAI HEE SPAK!
>In the middle of the fight robotnik and the robo-brigade attack.
SERVO: But that would *begin* the fight, wouldn't it?
>BOOM BOOM the run!
CROW: The 20-yard dash!
>they run away!
>SOnic runs!
>Then a huge ship shoots the floting islaland
SERVO[as children's show anouncer]: Now, the Floating La-la Land will fly high
in the air.
>with a huge lazer. KABOOOOM!
JIM: The Death Egg, finaly!
>The island faLLS out of the sky!
>"We are going down mon" says Knuckles
SERVO[as Knuckles]: Heavy. GET IT??? Hahaha!
>Then Ken Penders pushes Sally off the edge of the island!
ALL: We love you, Ken Penders!
>"AHh!" says Sal
>"no" says Sonic
>They jump off the island, SOnic has the 3 emneralds!
>KABOM! THE ISLAND HITS THE GROUND AND BLOWS UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SERVO: Unless I miss my guess, the Island should just break up.
>Then they see Ken Penders!
JIM: But the island's blown up!
>"HA HA HA!" says the evil Ken "I have captured Sally! You will have tro
>come to my fortress of evil to save the princess!"
>"LETS JAM!" says SOnic
JIM: Sonic Jam, for your PC console.
>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
SERVO: Sonic steps on this part of the rake and hits his nose!
>
>The Fortress of evil
>
>Dark Passge.
CROW: "Rights of Passage" and "Dark Vengance", two Knuckles stories combined
in one!
>"EEEP" says Antoinne
>"Dont be a scardy" says Sonic
JIM[as Antoine]: I can't help it, I'm the comic relief!
>They walk into a room, traps and robo-soldiers, very action packed
>battle.
CROW: Very descriptive battle, too.
>They see ken penders atop his throne of comics
SERVO: Look, Ken, just because you write the stories doen't make you king of
the Sonic unvierse...
oh, wait...
>Sonic and Ken sword fight!
>THE FINAL BATTLE BETWEEN SONIC AND KEN PENDERS IS TAKING PLACE!
CROW: Sparing us the sequel "Sonic Fights Ken Penders", SONIC FAN gives it to
us now.
>CHING CHING CHING KLANG KLANG KLANG
>"Touche!" says Ken
>CHING CHING CHING KLANG KLANG KLANG
>"Yo yo" says Sonic
SERVO: Odd choice for a weapon.
>CHING CHING CHING KLANG KLANG KLANG
>"Ha ha!" says Ken
>CHING CHING CHING KLANG KLANG KLANG
JIM: And now, the Sonic Cheerleaders!
>"Go sonic!" says Tails
>Sonic slices Ken in half, but Ken explodes in a blast of light. POOF!
>"Hooray!" says ROtor, Sally, bob.
>"Hmmm Ken where'd you learn to sword fight, the sword fight of loser
> school?" says Sonic
SERVO: Huh.
> "hahaah" laugh the crowd
> "Look at what I found!" says Tails
> "A chaos emerald, cool!" says Sonic
JIM: Uh...okay.
>
> /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
>
CROW: I'm leaving.
SERVO: I second the motion.
JIM: Agreed, then? Meeting adjourned.
[all exit]
[commercials]
--------------
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Jim W.
aka
Jim, that Mistie
"This is where the fish lives."
"I KNOW!"
"I'm cahmeeng!"
"I just don't wanna get sued." -Richard Grieco