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[MiSTing] SFR6 (4/5)

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Tjats

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Nov 2, 1998, 3:00:00 AM11/2/98
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All MST3K-related characters and situations are trademarks of Best Brains, Inc.

---------------------

[SOL int.] Servo, Crow, and Gypsy are behind the counter.

GYPSY: Hey guys! How are you?
SERVO: Feeling terrible.
CROW: Yeah. Jim's fainted in the theater.
GYPSY: What?!
SERVO: He's still in there, sprawled across three theater seats.
GYPSY: We've got to help him! [rushes through door number seven, which closes
after her]
SERVO: Hey, how come we never go that way?
CROW: I don't know.

-mads' sign-

SERVO: Uh, we can't hit the button.
CROW: Cambot, can you fall on the button, please?
CAMBOT: Fine, it's not enough I have to actualy film you guys watching a
movie, I have to do
your dirty work, too.

[The camera moves closer to the counter, then falls down fast. The screen goes
snowy]

[CF] Pearl, Observer, and Bobo have made a confusing flow chart on a dry-erase
marker board.
It's filled with arrows, boxes, and scrambled words.

PEARL: No, no... I think the Death Egg is actualy a warehouse somewhere in
Robotropolis, not
some big foating fortress... and look! The Great Forrest is spelled "knoyhole
forest"!
OBSERVER: Maybe if I put in the fact that Tails and Uncle Bob say "fock" every
three lines may give us
something to go on...
BOBO: Maybe if we put Frank Sinatra in the TV studio...
PEARL: How about Evil Doctor Quack? [takes red marker and draws a line from
what looks like Robotnik's
headquarters to the Great Forrest]
BOBO: Let's see...I know! The chili-dog vending machine! That may be the
missing peice!
OBSERVER: No, no! We need to put Tank Bot IV here! [draws a big black dot]
PEARL: But what about Sonic's hut? [scribbles lines in the Great Forrest]
BOBO: How about the golf store that sells golf carts?
OBSERVER: And the food court!
PEARL: Here, I'll draw a way past cool cake. [makes a bad drawing of a cake
at the bottom near
the words "Mobius Mall".

[SOL] Camera is fuzzy.

SERVO: Looks like we're more sane than them from this, at least.

[camera picture clears. Gypsy, pushing Jim, enters through door 7]

GYPSY: Okay, I got him.

-movie sign-

CROW: Put him back in the theater, Gyps! It's FANFIC SIIIIGN!!!
GYPSY: SCREW YOU ALL! [falls over]
JIM: Ow!

6...5...4...3...2...1...

[Jim, Servo, and Crow enter]

>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

JIM: Stalagtites!
SERVO: No, stalagmites!

>
>Robotropolis
>
>ACTION-PACKED, EXCITING, EXPLOSIVE, HOVER-UNIT CHASE SCENE!!!!!!!!!

CROW: Is this a preview of coming attractions or something?

>Sally is driving the hover unit, Rotor throws a donut at the pusuing
>hover-bikes!

JIM: It's the Mos Isley stage in Shadows of the Empire!

>"look out SALKY!" says Rootir.

SERVO: The hell?
JIM: It's time for another host segment.
CROW: No, Jim.

>CRASH!!! The hovrunit flys right through a SWAT-House!

CROW[as SWAT wife]: Honey! What the hell are you doing crashing through my
newly-cleaned house?

>"EEEEK" drones the bot in the shower. Then it rusts from being in the
>shower.

SERVO: Then why was it in the shower to begin with?!?

>KABOOW FLUSH, THE hoverunit goes down the toilet!

JIM: So a toilet is a black hole, shrinking everything to swallowable size?
SERVO: Sure, Jim, I have proof.

>IT's in the sewer tunnels now, being chased by SWAT boats! SWAT boats
>jump in the air, TOO HIGH, it's hit the ceiling and blow up!

CROW: Third person insane singular, right?

>Justy then a SWAT bot shoos a missle at the hovrunit KABBBBOOOOOMMM!
>Sally and Rotor bail out SPLASH!!!!!

SERVO[as Ryder]: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! [jumps off and rolls across the floor]

>Rotor swims!
>"Arg" says Sally "I am droning ahhhhhhh glup glib!"

CROW: I'll say. SHUT UP!

>SWAT boys are closing in!

JIM: Then the Beagle Bots will show up...

>Jus then the sewer lid above them opens. SONIC AND THE GANG!

SERVO: Oh, fack, they survived!

>"Attention ye!" says Bob "GRab onto the shotgun" bob lowers down the
>shotgun.

CROW: Just shoot the stupid SWATS!

>Sally grabs on, Rotor grabs on!

JIM[as Sally]: Don't get any ideas.

>The SWAT bots miss them by half a inch!

SERVO: Would it be considered wrong to just have them killed?

>Then the SWAT bots drive over the edge of a waterfall!

ALL: WHAT??!!
CROW: They're in the sewer!
SERVO: Above a manhole!
JIM: They're not at the edge of a sewer pipe!

>"AHHHHH" drone the bots.
>"Phew

CROW[as Sally]: Did you let one? Oh, it's the sewer.

>we made it" says Sally

JIM: When I say

>BOOM BOOM BOOM

JIM: you say "BAM BAM BAM",
CROW: No pause in between,
SERVO: Come on, let's JAM!

>A HUUUGE SHADOW APPEARS OVER HEAD!

SERVO: Oh, no! Rosanne!

>"Hmmm" says Sonic "I think tubbo-chub is here"

SERVO: So it *is* Rosanne!

>Sure enough, Dr. Robotnik was behind the freeddom fighters.

SERVO: Oh, so I was wrong.

>"Good guess" said Tails.

SERVO: Why thank you, HEY!
JIM: Give it a rest, Servo.

>Just then GHrounder and Scratch show up.
>Snivley jumps out and scrweams "WAAAHHHHH HAAAIIII!!!!"

CROW: He's a black belt...?

>thus initiating

JIM: a crappy fight scene.

>the fight scene.
>SAlly fights Snivley BOOM BOOM BOOM!

SERVO: But it's supposed to be Sonic Fights Robotnik!

>Rotor fights Grounder "Huh huh ow"

SERVO: Sonic Fights Robotnik!

>Bunnie fights Scratch "Heh heh this is cool"

SERVO: SONIC FIGHTS ROBOTNIK!!!

>Sonic fights
>yeah
>you guessed it
>SoNIC FIGHTS ROBOTNIK

SERVO: Finaly! The title premise pays off!

>"6" says Scratch
>Tails fights robotnik too, as does Bob.

JIM: Now hang on!
SERVO: Jim, you should know that Robotnik is too much man for Sonic alone!

>Sonic spin dashes at Robotnik spinnnnnn zooooM OW!
>"HAI KARATE!" yells Tails.
>"Hye ding dong day!" says Bob

CROW[Minnessota]: Isn't this just a darling fanfic, Ethel?
SERVO[Minnessota]: Oh, yes it is, don't 'ya know?

>Shotgun shells, Laser fire, ACTION!
>Grounder is defeated! Scratch is defeated!

JIM: Like that's a big acomplishment.

>But then, Sonic gets shot by robotnik, but not shot dead.

ALL: WHY THE HELL NOT?!?

>The freedom fighters are surrounded!
>"Ha ha ha" says Robotnik "ATEENTION ROBO-BRIGATE! FORWARD MARCH!"

JIM: Robotnik switched over to Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade directing?

>100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
>SWAT bots surround the freedom fighters

SERVO: Knowing Sonic, he'll defeat them with a pop gun.

>"We are finished!" said Sonic

CROW: Sonic finaly catches on.

>"Darn tootin'" says Robotnik.

JIM: Huh?

>Just when things looked their bleekest, one SWAT bot falls over, causing
>a domino effect that makes all the other bots fall over!

CROW: WHAT!!!
JIM: Come on!
SERVO: What a crappy plot contrivance!
JIM: Couldn't you please just KILL THEM???

>Sonic and
>friends escape!
>"Oh well" says Robotnik "We'll get them next time"

JIM: No! A sequel!!!
'BOTS: AAAAAAARRRRGGGH!

>Then Snivley climbs out of a dumpster "You bloody idiot!" he says
>"I told you time and time again you've got to upgrade the fricking
>artificial intelligence chips in those bots! But NOOOOOOO lets go get
>sonic, sure with 100000000000000000000000000 bots it'll be easy
>ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG!!!!! And why don't you RUST PROOF THEM?? HUH
>MAN!?!?!??!?!" says the Sniv.

CROW: Hey, he's doing our work for us!

>"Well I would but the Robotnik show is taking up most of our budget."
>says Robotnik "Those parking lot cams aren't cheap you know"


SERVO[as Robotnik]: I'm a greedy TV-loving lump of lard who thinks with his
stomach.

>"ARRRGAGARRRRRRRR!!!" says Snivley, kicking himself in the head.

JIM: Man, if you can do that you could be considered an Olympic competitor.

>"But we CAN upgrade our fighting force!" says Robotonik "Let's rebuild
>Packbell! That will be fun!

CROW[as Robotnik]: Especialy if we put the Intel Pentium II Processor in him
this time!
JIM[Intel theme]: Ding ding dong ding!

>HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHZHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!"

SERVO: Hey! "AHZHHA"! He misspelled the easiest scentence in the fic!

>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

JIM: And one more time!
ALL: THIS WAY TO HEAVEN!
SERVO: That wasn't so bad after all!
JIM: Come on, we've got to go!

[All leave the theater]

>
>Knothole

[All re-enter]

JIM: I don't bileve this!
SERVO: I wanna go-ho-ho!
CROW: Please have mercy!

>
>"Hey what is Dr. Quack doing here" says Sally
>"He is a good guy now" says Sonic
>"ok" says Sally

JIM: We have to trust him completely so he can betray us later in Endgame.

>"OH NO MY HUT!" says SOnic

SERVO: Hasn't he gotten past that?

>Sonic walks to his hut. "Hey the fridge is still here" says Sonic. He
>takes out a mountain due and drinks it.

CROW: Five sequels and he *still* can't spell it right.

>"Ah, refreshing" says Sonic "Oh yeah, I suppose I should mention..."

JIM[as Sonic, anouncing]: Mountain Due is very refreshing.

>Sonic tells everbody about the master emerald.

JIM: Which had absolutely no help with the fanfic.

>"So that's where you were!" says Tails
>JUST THEN A SWAT MISSLE BLOWS UP THE KOSHER DELI!

CROW: No! Not our only means of salad accessories and condiments!

>"Oh no!" says Tails "Uncle Rabbi!"
>

SERVO: What's a rabbi doing working at a Kosher Deli?
CROW: And how many uncles does Tails have, anyway?

>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

JIM: An all-terrain unicycle has been through here...
SERVO: We're just running the jokes through again.

>
>Rabbi Prower's funeral
>
>"He was a good fox" said Sally "A religious fox, and most of all, our
>friend fox"

SERVO[as Sally]: But he's owned by another company and billions of light years
away, so why are we worried about
McCloud?

>"Amen" said Rotor
>Chris Pettrucii sings a few metallica songs. Then they bury the Rabbi.

JIM: So no funeral music, just some *ROCK*?
CROW: Yeah.

>"waaah" said Tails (sad)
>"Yo it cool to cry at funrals tails it help cope the loss and stuff" says

SERVO: Mobie the mono-sylabic cave bear.

>Sonic comforting tails
>Then sonic gives an inspring speech "Let's get those chaos emeralds. FOR
>RABBI PROWERS SAKE!"

JIM: Why chaos emeralds?

>"Yaaay" says the crowd.
>"Aye LET'S GIT 'UM!" says Bob, loading his shotgun.
>

SERVO[as Bob]: We all's gona go emerald huntin!

>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

SERVO: The shortest one yet!

>
>5 minutes later, knothole defense coordinations
>
>Sonic spins around in a chair "WHEEEEEE!"
>Tails swings on a lighting fixture "WOOOHOOOO!"

JIM: Ah, hilarious pre-war antics!

>"Order order!" says Sally
>"I want a cheeseburger" says Sonic (joke)

SERVO[sarcastic]: Thanks for letting us know that.

>"I'll have a large coffee" says Rotor

CROW: Can Uncle Bob shoot me?
JIM: Anything's possible.

[Uncle Bob walks in, shoots Crow and leaves]

CROW: I didn't mean it!
JIM: Don't play jokes with a self-insertionist.

>"Now get serious about this let's find the emneralds" says Sally

SERVO[as Sally]: Let's talk in running scentences to fool the reader I'm going
to leave.

>"OK" says everbody
>"zoogy" says Antoinne

SERVO: "Zoogy?" Even Antoine wouldn't say "Zoogy"!

>"Wher are the chaos emeralds" says Sally

JIM: A highly efective way of finding them. Just ask around!

>"Uhhhhh Knuckles has some" says Sonic

CROW: And why do you think that is, hmm?

>"LEt's go to the floting istland and get them!" says Sally

SERVO[as Sally]: But first help me get my scentences straight!

>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

JIM: It's back and it's longer then ever! The new 1998 zig-zag!

>
>Robotropile

CROW: Now that's just silly.

>
>"Doo doo doo, buildin' a robot!" sings Roboytnik
>Robotnik slaps some robo parts togetther. Snivley throws grounder and
>scratch in the garbage.

ALL: Yaaay!

>FInally, robotnik is finished. He flips the switch, hits the button and
>turns the dial.

SERVO[as radio]: And now, the Del Airs!

>"Yawn, oh hello there" says Packbell
>"HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" says Robotnik
>"Uh sir, there were some parts left over so I made a bot too" says
>Snivley

JIM[as Snively]: It's called the Wuss-Mac 2000.

>"Cool man!" says Robotnik
>Snivleys bot is a monkey. It gets up
>"HI i am COCONUTS!" says the bot "WOOOO HAAAA! IT'S DISCO TIME!!!!!"

CROW: I wanna DIEEEE! Waaaah!
JIM: Really? [Begins to snap his fingers]
CROW: NO! NO! I was kidding!

>bow-chicka-bow-chicka-womp-wow
>Robotnik and snivley and packbell disco, the siren on coconuts head acts
>as a disco light.

JIM: Meanwhile the Freedom Figters sneak in, steal Robotnik's Darth Vader
coffee mug and return to
Knothole triumphantly!

>
>/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

CROW[as Natile from Werewolf]: That's skooed up!

>
>The Floting Island
>
>Sonic walks up to Knuckels house and rings the doorbell. Knucles walks to
>the door.
>"Hey mon, what up?" says Knuckles.

JIM: Okay, stop the fanfic! Everyone go back to their regular accents!

>"Hi we need to borrow the chaos emeralds" says Sonic
>"Ok mon" says Knuckles "I'll go get them"

SERVO[as Gesture Prof.]: As he does this the Floating Island falls down, down,
down,
CROW: SERVO!
SERVO: Sorry.

>Just then robotnik and forces attack
>"WO-HA!" says Packbell
>"Mooga meek moo!" says Tails

JIM: They're the only ones fighting?

>NINJA FIGHTS
>WAI HEE SPAK!
>In the middle of the fight robotnik and the robo-brigade attack.

SERVO: But that would *begin* the fight, wouldn't it?

>BOOM BOOM the run!

CROW: The 20-yard dash!

>they run away!
>SOnic runs!
>Then a huge ship shoots the floting islaland

SERVO[as children's show anouncer]: Now, the Floating La-la Land will fly high
in the air.

>with a huge lazer. KABOOOOM!

JIM: The Death Egg, finaly!

>The island faLLS out of the sky!
>"We are going down mon" says Knuckles

SERVO[as Knuckles]: Heavy. GET IT??? Hahaha!

>Then Ken Penders pushes Sally off the edge of the island!

ALL: We love you, Ken Penders!

>"AHh!" says Sal
>"no" says Sonic
>They jump off the island, SOnic has the 3 emneralds!
>KABOM! THE ISLAND HITS THE GROUND AND BLOWS UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SERVO: Unless I miss my guess, the Island should just break up.

>Then they see Ken Penders!

JIM: But the island's blown up!

>"HA HA HA!" says the evil Ken "I have captured Sally! You will have tro
>come to my fortress of evil to save the princess!"
>"LETS JAM!" says SOnic

JIM: Sonic Jam, for your PC console.

>
>/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

SERVO: Sonic steps on this part of the rake and hits his nose!

>
>The Fortress of evil
>
>Dark Passge.

CROW: "Rights of Passage" and "Dark Vengance", two Knuckles stories combined
in one!

>"EEEP" says Antoinne
>"Dont be a scardy" says Sonic

JIM[as Antoine]: I can't help it, I'm the comic relief!

>They walk into a room, traps and robo-soldiers, very action packed
>battle.

CROW: Very descriptive battle, too.

>They see ken penders atop his throne of comics

SERVO: Look, Ken, just because you write the stories doen't make you king of
the Sonic unvierse...
oh, wait...

>Sonic and Ken sword fight!
>THE FINAL BATTLE BETWEEN SONIC AND KEN PENDERS IS TAKING PLACE!

CROW: Sparing us the sequel "Sonic Fights Ken Penders", SONIC FAN gives it to
us now.

>CHING CHING CHING KLANG KLANG KLANG
>"Touche!" says Ken
>CHING CHING CHING KLANG KLANG KLANG
>"Yo yo" says Sonic

SERVO: Odd choice for a weapon.

>CHING CHING CHING KLANG KLANG KLANG
>"Ha ha!" says Ken
>CHING CHING CHING KLANG KLANG KLANG

JIM: And now, the Sonic Cheerleaders!

>"Go sonic!" says Tails
>Sonic slices Ken in half, but Ken explodes in a blast of light. POOF!
>"Hooray!" says ROtor, Sally, bob.
>"Hmmm Ken where'd you learn to sword fight, the sword fight of loser
> school?" says Sonic

SERVO: Huh.

> "hahaah" laugh the crowd
> "Look at what I found!" says Tails
> "A chaos emerald, cool!" says Sonic

JIM: Uh...okay.

>
> /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
>

CROW: I'm leaving.
SERVO: I second the motion.
JIM: Agreed, then? Meeting adjourned.

[all exit]
[commercials]
--------------
send comments to tj...@aol.com

Jim W.

aka
Jim, that Mistie

"This is where the fish lives."
"I KNOW!"
"I'm cahmeeng!"

"I just don't wanna get sued." -Richard Grieco

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