MiSTing The Cartoons Combined

[Tjats]

disclaimer:

MST3K is a registered trademark of Best Brains, Inc. I don't mean to infringe
on a copywright or anything, I just want to make people laugh.

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special thanks to my brother, Steven.
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Turn down your lights (if you want to)

(8th season MST3K theme song)

1...2...3...4...5...6...

Mike is on the SOL with Tom and Crow.

MIKE: Hi, everyone. Welcome to the Satelite of Love. Right now, we're lost
in time and space, and...
CROW: Skip it, Mike. They know all about that.
MIKE: Okay, well... then... there's nothing left to say.
SERVO: For crying out loud... Hello everyone. I'm Tom Servo. Today is a
special day here on the Satelite of Love...
MIKE: No it's not.
SERVO: Shut up! Today is March 10th. And you know what that means...
CROW: Uh... no we don't Tom...
SERVO: Today is Show-Off-Your-Sighned-Underwear-Collection Day! Yaaaaaaaaay!
MIKE: Servo, you're the only one in the universe that has a signed underwear
collection! How does that make today a holiday?
SERVO: Well...I just...um...

Servo starts crying.

CROW: Oh, look at what you did to him, Mike! He was building a whole
artificial dreamworld around him focusing on his favorite hobby, and you threw
up all over it! Good one , Nelson!

Commercial sign

MIKE: Me? How did I do anything? I just said a few things about his
underwear collection...?

(commercial)

Servo is still crying on Mike's shoulder. Mike is holding him very tenderly,
with loving care. The red light flashes.

MIKE: Oh, Pearl and the gang are calling.

Pearl is driving the VW with Bobo in the front and BJ in the backseat. Both
are sleeping. It is dark(well, darker than usual with these VW scenes)
indicating nighttime.

PEARL: Well, Nelson. It's really bored out here on the interstate of space,
so I thought I'd pass the time by sending you-

Back to the SOL

MIKE: Another movie? But it hasn't been a week yet since our last one!
CROW: Yeah! We need time to recover!

PEARL: Relax, bim-bos. It's not a movie. It's a story written by some
sixth-grader called Steven Whaley. It's called The Cartoons Combined, and it's
a really bad spoof on superheroes and not-so-super comic strip stars. Enjoy.
Oh, wait...DON'T! HAHAHA!

cut to SOL; movie lights flash.

ALL: AAAHHH! We got short story sign!

6...5...4...3...2...1...

>The Cartoons Combined!
>Writen by Steven Whaley

MIKE(sarcasticly): Yeah, nice going, Steve!

>Once upon a time

SERVO: Or not.

>there was a flock of cartoon characters

CROW: A flock? What, are they all Birdman clones?

>named Sen and Rimpy

MIKE(as Ren): You eediot! You put us in a superhero story!

>Brakfield, Matman and Bluejay,

MIKE: Oh, I supose the Dark Night does knitting now.

>Underachiever Man,

CROW: Hey! He's the best one yet!
> and the X-Ray men; Windy, Yclopse, Dogarine, Trudy, Feast, Gamble,
Monsterous, and proffessor X-Ray.

SERVO: I sense about 10,000 law suits pending.

> and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Hampsters

ALL: (snicker)

>Purple, Orange, Red, and Blue.

MIKE: Oh, that's origional.

>One morning Sen and Rimpy said,
>"Where on Earth

ALL: Is Carmen Sandiego?

>is Powdered Toast Man?" Then Barkfield
>said, "Maybe he overslept like I do sometimes."
>Then Windy asked Yclopse,

CROW(as Windy): "Could you get off me?"

>"What are you doing with that marmalade?"

SERVO(as Yclopse): "I'm spearing it all over my eyes so that I don't have to
read this stupid story!"

>"I'm blasting out the bits," he answered.

ALL(deadpan): ha ha ha ha that's funny.

>Meanwhile, Jugerot, an enemy of the X-Ray Men, broke
>Into a bank and held it up. He held it up, allright!

MIKE(southern accent): He really held it up, don't ya know?

>He picked up the whole building.
>He turned it upside down and shook out all the money.
>He also found an extra ticket to Miami, which fell out of
>someone's pocket.
>"Ooh,"

CROW(as Jugerot in a Cookie Monster voice): a cookie.

>said Jugerot, "I'm going to save this for later."
>Then the X-Ray men, Matman and Bluejay, Underachiever Man,

MIKE: Oh no! We're back at the begining where he's telling all their names!
CROW and SERVO: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

>and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Hampsters heard an alarm.

MIKE: So, where did Sen, Rimpy, and Barkfield go?
SERVO: They ran in terror once they saw where this story was headed.
CROW: "Story"? StorIES would be more like it!

>"Forget about breakfast. We have a crook to catch," said
>Bluejay.

MIKE: So, how did he know it was a crook alarm?
CROW: Yeah, maybe was just a movie sign.
MIKE: I'd take the crook any day.

>Then Yclopse said, "Hey, that's my line!"

SERVO:(as Bluejay) Well, I didn't know! How am I supposed to know that it's
your line if it was never in the story before?

>Then Bluejay looked at the script

CROW: Script? I don't think so.

>"oops. Sorry." he said.
>The superheroes rushed out the door and jumped on Matman's flying carpet.

ALL(singing): A whole 'nother world..."

>"To the bank," Matman cried.

CROW: Why is he crying? Did someone step on his toe?
MIKE: I don't know.

>When they got there, Jugerot was gone.

SERVO: The end.

>Then Trudy said,"It won't be too hard to find him. Look!"

SERVO:(as Trudy) There he is!

>There was a path of disaster right down the road leading to the mall.
>"Uh-oh", said Windy, "I hope he doesn't spend that moneyon clothes. I herad
they were very expensive these days."

MIKE: So, all of a sudden she's sympathetic to the villian?

>When they got to the mall, there was no sign of Jugerot.
>Then Yclopse said, "Let's split up."

CROW: (as any other member) "But, then I'll be in two peices".

>Then Orange said "I'll check out the pizza parlor."

MIKE(as Orange): 'Cuz I like pizza.

>And then he started walking toward the pizza parlor untill he stopped and
turned around.

MIKE: No! Get out of here! Leave this stoy while you can!
Mike makes waving motions.

>"Uh, can anyone spare a few bucks?"

CROW: We'l give you anything you want! Just leave!!!!

>"Here you go," Said Blue. "I was saving it for a special occasion, but so
what?"

MIKE: What? He was saving TWO DOLLARS?!?!?!? What's the point?
CROW: I hear two dollars earns .002 cents in interest after 2 years.

>Then all of the superheroes

SERVO: Blew up.

>turned around and split up.

MIKE: Why did they turn around? Jugerot's in the mall ahead of them!
SERVO: Who cares? Let's go!
they exit the theater

(comercial)

This story continued soon!
Did you like it? E-Mail Tj...@aol.com!