[MSTing] [Rant] Merry Xmas
David Zielinski
by David Zielinski
Originally posted in alt.games.nintendo.pokemon
>Regulus wrote in message <[e-mail withheld]>...
Crow: ...that smoking can be hazardous to your health.
>I'm glad this came along, I really am, I haven't had a chance to have a
>major rant on this NG
All: Whew!
>yet
All: D'OH!
>and I was getting worried cuz it was the only message left ;p
Tom: Hmm, does someone like to complain?
>
>Pokemon Master wrote:
>>
>> To all of my friends,
Crow: Eh, what the hell, to all of my enemies, too...
>>
>> Merry Christmas!
Crow: Feliz Navidad!
Tom: Happy Channukah!
Mike: Happy Kwanzaa! (sp)
>
>Christmas is just a holiday made up by Hallmark. Bah.
Crow: Yeah! Where do you think "Boss Day" and "Secretary Day" came from?
Loving co-workers?
Mike: Um, actually, Crow, Christmas has been around since 0 A.D....
Crow: Wow, Hallmark sure has some deep roots!
Mike: *sigh*
>>
>> Well tomorrow one of the best holidays of the year happens and hopefully
>> all of you are having a fun and safe holiday.
Mike: Well, considering that we don't have snow in the SOL...
Tom: ...and there's no possible way for us to get Christmas presents from
Earth...
Crow: ...and we accidentally jettisoned Mike's pork roast...
Mike: WHAT?!
Crow: It was Servo's fault!!
Mike: Look, I'll deal with you two later, all right?
>
>Pffffft....Christmas blows.
Tom: That's what you tie on Chlistmas plesents!
>
>>
>> As I sit here writing this letter the image of all of those People in
this
>> world that live below the poverty line or worse...... on the street.
Mike: Well, that's basically repeating yourself, isn't it?
>>These
>> families don't have enough money to even buy a simple present for their
>> children. That is why organizations such as the Salvation Army and the
Food
>> bank need extra help this Season.
All: SPAM.
>
>Whoa, checkit, he became a spokeman for Save The Children.
Mike: Checkit! Break it down! [all hum 'U Can't Touch This']
>
>>
>> As you all sit and eat your supper tomorrow with your friends and family,
>> think how thankful you are for the Peace, happiness and safety that we
all
>> enjoy.
Crow: ...because in 5 hours, Russia's going to reform into the USSR and blow
your sorry asses off of this planet.
Mike: A little masechistic today?
Crow: Just a touch.
>>I know that I am thankful for my warm house, my family the peace
>> that we enjoy in our lives and of course I am especially thankful for
All: My wife's huge silicone rack!
>> all of my great friends that I can count on being there for each other
when we
>> are in need. If you see a Salvation Army collector in the mall try and
>> donate a few dollars, it wouldn't hurt you.
Crow: Unless that guy in the Santa suit mugs you. Then it would almost
DEFINITELY hurt.
>>It would certainly bring joy
>> into the hearts of those in need.
>>
>> I hope you all have a very merry Christmas and remember those in need.
Also
>> don't forget the reason you celebrate Christmas.
Tom: Presents!!!
Mike: Ham!!!
Crow: Coke commercials with polar bears!!!
>
>*eyeroll* Peace and Happiness my ass.
>Clinton started a pissy war (Why the hell don't they just bomb Saddammit
>himSELF instead of killing innocents? What, he's holed up in a bunker
>somewhere? ><)
Crow: The ranting flares...
Mike: Check for gas leaks.
>just to get the attention offa his OWN lying ass. And he
>wants to keep it that way as long as he can until some other major
>disturbance in the Force hits and takes the public eye off HIM.
Tom: [Darth Vader as Clinton] Starr, I am your father!
>Not that I've ever paid attention, but wasn't Christ born on April 1st?
>Or was that his *eyeroll* 'resurrection'?
Mike: Oh, so April 1st is the day that Jesus was once again able to cross
his eyes! Cool!
>
>I hate anyone who thinks all the Bible crap is real. it's just a story
>like any other, only it makes stuff up in such a way that simple-minded
>people can grasp the concept of how the earth was created.
Tom: So... he's an atheist and an idiot?
Being a
>Scientist and a perfect Christian ina living contradiction I believe.
>*eyeroll*
Mike: Does this guy have astigmatism or something?
>It's a book, that's all. I don't mind hearing this and that about it
>once in a while, it's the true believers. "You believe in God and Jesus
>or you'll go to Hell!"
Crow: [Mr. Mackey] You go to hell!!! You go to hell and you die!!!
>Well now if I don't want to ;p
>I may wanna hang around and haunt stuff.
>That'd be fairly cool, actually...
Tom: So he goes from openly bashing Christianity to openly supporting evil
demons?
Mike: Seems like it.
>
>*grins* I'd love being a Haunter ^.~
>Wonder how it feels to lick your own eyeballs out....^^
All: [open-mouthed gawking]
>
>....*shakes his head and blinks* erm...yeah, onward and upward.
>Feh, basically, there's no such thing as Peace and Happiness.
Tom: In other words, he's never scored.
Mike & Crow: Bingo.
>NO one can be perfectly happy.
>Not you, not me, not the Pope.
Tom: Not even... Bill Gates!
Crow & Mike: *gasp*
>(there's another one of them folks people worship solely
>because he says he can talk wtih God or somesuch)
Tom: People worship the Pope???
Mike: Well, that's OUR fast fact for the day.
>
>Why couldn't I be japanese or something? >_<
Crow: Just be happy you're not a hunter-gatherer who lives in a secluded
part of Uganda!
>
>--
>Reg the Pissed off Xmas elf.
Tom: Had a very shiny nose...
Crow: And if you ever saw it...
Mike: You would probably... uh... smell his toes.
Tom & Crow: Bleah!!
Tom: Oh, thanks Mike, you ruined THAT one for us...
Mike: Look, I can't rhyme like you two, OK? Gimme a break already!
>
>Ho ho fucking ho
>Whatta crock of shit
>We all worked for Santa Clause
>We had enough
>We quit.
>Cuz we do all the fuckin' work
>While he stars in the show
>Stick yer Christmas up yer ass
>Ho ho fucking ho.
Crow: So, Weird Al was right about all the elves joining the postal
service...
>
>*bows*
Tom: ...and arrows!
--------------------------------
So, whaddaya think? Send all comments 'n stuff to davi...@earthlink.net.
Fox
> MSTing: [Rant] Merry Xmas
> by David Zielinski
>
> Originally posted in alt.games.nintendo.pokemon
> <snip>
> >*eyeroll*
>
> Mike: Does this guy have astigmatism or something?
I'm surprised there were no comments on the number of eyes this guy has.
--
Fox, Spy Extraordinaire
MSTie #83019
Commander of Intelligence Operations for the AOPWS
Spy Extraordinaire for G.E.E.K.S.
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I say we go to that Bigfoot party and crash it like Skylab!
-- Max from Sam and Max: Hit The Road