MiST on the Ghost Planet: "A Darkwing Christmas Carol" (1/2)

[Jen White6]

MiST on the Ghost Planet: "A Darkwing Christmas Carol"
Original story by Amanda Ratliff
MiSTing by Jen White

[Interior, The Green Room in the Ghost Planet Industries building. Zorak,
Tansit, Lokar, and Brak are seated at a table, very intent on playing cards.
Breaking all precedents, they appear to be playing the same game. The table
is covered by a green felt covering, marked in white and punctuated with
small, neat stacks of Pringles potato chips in lieu of poker chips. All but
Lokar are quite intent on the game. Lokar, who appears quite blase, is not
looking at his hand; his cards are stacked in front of him.
Brak, with an expression of intense concentration, puts one card face up
on the stack in the center of the table. Lokar looks at it casually, then
draws it. He picks up his cards, fans them out, moves a few around with quick
snaps, then lays his hand on the table face up. He grins as the others stare
in surprise.]
Tansit: Wow!
Brak: That's a lotta hearts, buddy.
Lokar: I believe that is *all* of them. [looking around] Well?
[Tansit lays his cards down, face down, inconspicuously. Zorak throws his
onto the table in disgust.]
Brak: I got three pair.
Lokar: [patronizingly] You are improving. Sadly, not with sufficient
alacrity.
Zorak: Can it. We know the stakes. Get on with it!
Lokar: Very well. [gets up from his chair and cracks his knuckles] I
have been saving a special treat for you three.
Zorak: Ahhh, you can't find anything bad enough to hurt us. We've already
read the worst stories there are.
Lokar: We shall see.
[Lokar exits]
Brak: He was smiling. I'm scared.
Zorak: Oh, you know Lokar. He'll probably just send us something boring.
He wouldn't know TRUE evil if it bit him!
Tansit: He wouldn't?
Zorak: Well, he did that *one* time. What can I say, I was hungry.
[The monitor comes on. The screen fills with static, then clears.]
Moltar: [voiceover] Don't you guys ever get sick of this stuff?
Zorak: YES. Shaddap and send the story.

[Moltar's control room]

Moltar: Fine. Stew in it.
[Moltar flips a lever.]

[Green Room]

[Text begins scrolling up the monitor screen:]

> A Darkwing Christmas Carol
>

Brak: Hey! A Christmas story! I like Christmas stories!

>
> "Hey dad! Wait for me!" Gosalyn Mallard called as she saw Drake and
> Launchpad preparing to go to Darkwing Tower by way of the blue chairs in
> their living room.

Zorak: Most people would take the car, but NO, Drake and Launchpad have to
be DIFFERENT.
Tansit: That's how they always go to the tower. The chairs spin around,
and there they are.
Brak: Man! I wish I could do stuff like that. When I spin around, I
just get dizzy.

> "Wait for you to what?" Drake asked, although he already suspected her
> response.

Tansit: He's going to the tower, and Gosalyn, who always tags along, tells
him to wait for her. Gee, I *wonder* what she wants?

> "I wanna go to!"

Zorak: [Gosalyn] School! So I can learn to! Finish my sentences!

> she exclaimed jumping onto his lap.

Tansit: [Drake] YEOW! Watch it with the cleats, kid!

> "OK," she smiled.
> "Lets get Dangerous."

Zorak: [falsetto] Too late.

> "I think cleaning your room is as dangerous as you are going to get,
> young lady!" he answered firmly as he set her down on the floor.

Zorak: My mom used to say that to me. Little did she know! BWA-HA-HA-HA!
Tansit: Your mom called you a young lady?

> Gosalyns smile quickly turned to a frown. "But dad I never get to have
> any fun. You always treat me like a little kid!"

Brak: [Gosalyn] You feed me tin cans!

> "Go figure!" Drake said sarcastically. "No buts, your not going!"

Zorak: [Drake] Your "but" is staying right here, kid!

> He saw
> she was about to argue so he added. "Absolutely, positively, defiantly."

Tansit: [Drake] I'm absolutely positive you're gonna defy me!

> Gosalyn, determined to get in on the action, turned to Launchpad. "Come
> on Launchpad! Help me out!" she begged.

Brak: Launchpad tossed her a doggie bone and said "Good girl!"

> "Sorry Gos, DW's the boss!" Launchpad said calmly.

Brak: [Launchpad] If ya wanna make an appointment to see him, I can
squeeze ya in a week from Thursday.

> "Good-bye Gosalyn!" Drake said with annoyance creeping into his voice. He
> was starting to get sick of her constant arguing and felt his temper start
> flaring up.

Zorak: I got an ointment ya can put on that.

> "Dad! I want to go with you! I could help! I.."
> "Gosalyn I told you NO!" Drake shouted. Gosalyn was startled and fell
> backwards.

Brak: Someone's been eatin' onions.

> "Geez dad! Don't have a cow! Nothings gonna happen to me!"

Tansit: [Bart Simpson] Eat my shorts! Cowabunga!

> she shouted
> still determined to go.
> Drake felt all peace leaving his body and shouted back, "I'll have
> anything I want to I am the father! You seem to have forgotten that!

Tansit: [Drake] NO... WIRE... *HANGERS!*

> Now I
> am going to leave and when I get back your room had better be spotless or
> else!"

[Zorak imitates a whip-crack]

> "Or else what!" Gosalyn shouted back tears threatening her eyes.

Tansit: [Drake] Or else you can't go to the ball!

> "Trust me! You don't want to know!" Drake said through clenched teeth.

Zorak: [Drake] Do you want to go back to the *home*? Is THAT what you
want?!

> Gosalyn turned and bolted to the steps.

Tansit: [Gosalyn] Aw nuts! I'm screwed!
Brak: You sure nailed it that time.
Zorak: Do you two have to hammer that joke into the ground?

> When she reached them she turned
> back to them. Drake felt himself being consumed by guilt when he saw the
> tears streaming down her cheeks. "You know one of these days you'll see
> what I go through every time you leave here! Never knowing if you'll be
> back! Christmas would be awful lonely around here with out you." she said
> softly. With a sniffle she ran up the stairs and into her room.

[All applaud]
Brak: Think she'll get an Oscar nomination?
Tansit: Oh, definitely! She's a cinch for "Guilt Trip of The Year".

> A half hour later Darkwing and Launchpad were racing through the snowy
> streets of St. Canard in hot pursuit of a bank robber.

Brak: Huh! Usually a pursuit is pretty cold if it's snowing.

> Launchpad gulped as
> Darkwing swerved another corner nearly sending the ratcatcher into a
> doughnut.

Brak: That must be the mother of all doughnuts! I bet you'd need a
barrel of coffee to dunk it in.

> "Gee DW, maybe you should slow down!"

Brak: [singing] Don't try to live your life in one day, don't go speed
your time away.

> "Not on your life LP! I'm about to catch him!" Darkwing shouted over the
> roar of the motor.

Zorak: Catch WHO?
Brak: The doughnut?
Tansit: I think there was a villain in this scene somewhere.

> "Well at least stop and put your helmet on before something happens!"
> Launchpad pleaded.
> "LP your starting to sound like Gosalyn!

Brak: [Darkwing] Quit sucking helium and get back to work!

> Nothing will happen to me I know
> what I'm doing!" Darkwing said as he turned to look at Launchpad.

Tansit: That's a quick way to wind up DEAD, DUCK.

> "But DW!" Launchpad started to argue but then shouted, "look out!"

Brak: [Launchpad] Your shoelace is untied!

> Darkwing, startled, turned his eyes back to the road. It was a moment to
> soon however as a snow plow moved in front of the ratcatcher.

Tansit: And we know how fast *those* run.

> Darkwing
> slammed on his breaks and swerved hard to the right.

Zorak: Which was a dumb move, since the snow plow was coming from the
right.

> A loud crash filled
> the air and a heavy smoke began pouring out of the Ratcatcher. When the
> smoke dissipated Launchpad was in the side car, dazed but alright.
> Darkwing lay several feet away, sprawled across the ground with blood
> pouring from the wound in his head.

Brak: EWWWW!
[Zorak smacks his mandibles]
Tansit: I don't think we're in Disney any more, Toto.

> Darkwing felt a warm sensation across his feathers. He opened his eyes to
> find himself staring at the most beautiful sky he had ever seen. There
> was no trace of pollution, just the clear blue sky containing the
> fluffiest white clouds imaginable.

Brak: Off in the distance, he saw a nun running around on a hill and
singing.

> Slowly Darkwing sat up. "Ah your back among the living, so to speak!"

Brak: [whoever] And your front is alive too!
[Zorak rolls his eyes and imitates a rimshot]

> Boomed a loud voice behind him.
> Startled Darkwing spun around. Standing there was a tall, bearded man
> wearing a white robe. "Who are you? Where am I?" Darkwing demanded.

Brak: [Drake] And where's the other guys you sang "Legs" with?

> "You surprise me Drake. I thought you would know, as clever as you are!"
> the man then burst into a loud, jolly laugh.

Zorak: Yeah, I'd laugh if I tried to call HIM clever.
Brak: [excitedly] It's Santy Claus! I like Santy Claus!

> Darkwing narrowed his eyes. "What do you..." he stopped and his eyes
> widened in shock. "What did you call me?"
> "Drake," the man answered. "It is your name."

Brak: [bearded man] So, have you been naughty or nice this year?

> "Well uh yeah but.." for some odd reason Darkwing felt at ease with this
> man.

Brak: Of course he does! He's Santy Claus!
Zorak: Brak-

> He didn't know why but he had a strong sense that the man knew a lot
> more than he was sharing.

Brak: Like what he's gonna get in his Christmas stocking!
Zorak: That's *not* Santa Claus. It's just some guy with a beard!
Brak: [disappointed] Oh.

> "You didn't tell me who you were." he said
> cautiously.
> "Ah I am the Spirit of Christmas's Past." the man answered.

Zorak: And, oh brother, does Christmas have a past! The stuff I've got on
it, I could send it away for life!

> "Spirit?" Darkwing stuttered. "You mean I'm, I'm dead?"

All: DUH!

> "That is yet to be foretold, Your life may go either way. My purpose is
> to help you decide that way." the man answered.

Zorak: [Drake] So I get to decide if I live or die? Go to Heaven, or
stay with that pain-in-the-neck kid and that moron pilot. Open those pearly
gates!

> "I don't understand!" Darkwing said, fear creeping into his voice. "I
> should've listened to LP!" he thought.

Brak: But I couldn't 'cause my record player's broke.
Tansit: [Gosalyn] Records? Those are like big CDs, right?

> "You will understand soon enough," the spirit answered.

Zorak: Don't forget to clue *us* in while you're at it.

> Darkwing started to question the spirit further but he began to feel
> dizzy and the world spun and turned black.

Brak: I didn't know ghosts could faint.

> Gradually the world began to come back into focus and Darkwing found
> himself standing in front of a two story brick house.

Zorak: Hands against the wall! Spread 'em!

> It was clearly
> Christmas time here. Lights adorned every corner of the house and snow had
> piled up in the yard. Darkwing noticed that he didn't feel even a chill
> although he knew the weather had to be bitter cold.

Tansit: It's been snowy all night, he's been riding around on the
Ratcatcher without any pants, and he's just NOW thinking about that?

> "Spirit, why did you bring me here?" Darkwing asked swallowing the lump
> in his throat.

Brak: He should chew his food better.

> "You do recognize it then?" the spirit asked.

Zorak: If he recognized it, don't you think he'd have a clue why you
brought him here?!

> "It's my old house. I grew up here." he answered although more to
> himself than to the spirit.
> "Come," the spirit said as he took Darkwings arm and pulled him to the
> window.

Tansit: Watch, some ghost cop's gonna come along and bust both of 'em for
peeping.

> Darkwing let the spirit lead him to the window. Looking inside he gasped.
> A woman with long black hair sat by the fire smiling. Across the room a
> man was tossing a little boy up in the air.

Zorak: He was nowhere to be found when the kid came down again, though.

> The child was about five or
> six years old and laughing merrily with each toss. Finally, after several
> minutes the man stopped and set the boy down on the ground. "Again daddy!
> Again!" the child cried happily.

Tansit: [Baby dinosaur] Not the mama!

> "Now son, I've had enough. I'm beat!" he sighed with mock exhaustion.
> "Maybe you and mom should lay Santa out

Zorak: [man] for the crummy underwear he brought you last year!

> some cookies!"

Tansit: Ugh, I hate those as much as I hate pop-up ads and frames.

> "Yeah!" the boy shouted. Running to his mother the boy grabbed her long
> red skirt and tugged. "Come on mommy! Santa needs cookies!"

Tansit: Does he also need Javascript?

> Laughing the woman let him pull her to his feet and lead her into the
> kitchen. "Alright sweety, I'm coming." she said turning her head to grin
> at her husband.

Zorak: All right, we get the point. They're cute. Now can we GET ON WITH
IT?!

> "Why are you showing me this?" Darkwing asked bitterness creeping into
> his voice.

Tansit: [Drake] I could be watching "Seinfeld" reruns.

> "You recognize them, Drake?"
> "Yes," he answered sadly as he looked back to see the little boy running
> back into the room carrying a plate of cookies. "That was my parents, and
> me."

Zorak: [Drake] Yeesh, I was a loser even back then.

> He sighed as the woman sat next to her husband. He placed his arm
> about her shoulders as young Drake jumped on to his dad's lap and gave him
> a hug.

Zorak: [Drake] *I* always wanted a set of cleats.

> Turning back to the spirit he said, "I miss those times. I was so
> carefree, nothing mattered in the world but my parents and me." He shook
> his head sadly, "I didn't know what crime was."

Brak: They must not've let him watch a lot of TV.

> "It is time to move on, our time grows short,"

Brak: How can something *grow* short? Things are supposed to grow
*long*.

> the spirit said gravely.

Tansit: [ominously] Foreshadowing.

> "Oh please!" Darkwing begged. "Just a few more minutes!" His pleas were
> in vain, however, as the world again grew dark.

Tansit: An eclipse! This proves that today's Friday, not Saturday!

> When the darkness once again gave way to light Darkwing found himself
> standing in the rain.

Brak: [singing] I'm standing in the rain, got water on my brain...

> He was facing a scene he had always remembered but
> longed to forget.

Brak: Why'd he want to forget it?
Zorak: Maybe he's allergic to cuteness.

> Now he walked forward with the spirit to face one of the
> single most horrific day of his life.

Zorak: The day he met Gosalyn.

> Thirteen year old Drake Mallard stood staring numbly at the coffin lain
> out in front of him. He was vaguely aware of his mother's sobs and of the
> preacher droning on over the drizzle that had begun to fall. Shifting his
> eyes Drake saw a dark gash in the ground.

Brak: Ew. This isn't gonna turn into one of those horror movies, is it?

> His fathers new home.

Zorak: *Both* of his fathers?

> Wiping a
> tear from his eye he put his arm around his mother. She looked at him and
> gave him a forced smile and her tears once again began to fall. Drake
> suddenly realized how old she looked. The youth had disappeared from her
> face and dark circles had taken over her once vibrant blue eyes.

Brak: She shoulda cleaned her contacts more often.

> Drake felt the familiar stab of pain wracking his body as he thought back

Zorak: To when Gosalyn jumped on him wearing her soccer shoes.

> on the past few days. He remembered his father kissing his mother good
> bye as he went to his daily job at the bank. He remembered the sound of
> the door bell and his mothers cries of anguish.

Zorak: Looks like this kid had two mothers too. No wonder he's so screwed
up.

> He remembered rushing to
> the foyer where he found a cop looking grave while his mother was kneeling
> on the floor.

Brak: [Drake's mother] Would you help me look for my contact lens?

> He recalled the sound of her voice, as she echoed over and
> over, "No not Bill!" He remembered his heart stopping as

Zorak: He rammed the Ratcatcher into a snowplow, and that brings us up to
the present.

> he heard the cop
> say, "I'm sorry, your fathers dead.

Tansit: [cop] Both of them.

> He was murdered, shot during a robbery
> this afternoon."

Zorak: [cop] Tough luck, kid. Say, are there any good doughnut shops
around here?

> The next few days had been a nightmare. Relatives calling and coming by.

Brak: Huh? I *like* family reunions!

> His mother had to be sedated which left him in charge.

Zorak: [Drake] She gave me the credit cards too! BWA-HA-HA-HA!

> Now he stood at
> the cemetery this bleak day to say good bye to his father, his best
> friend.

[Brak begins humming generic "soap opera" music.]

> He came back to reality when he felt his mother stepping out of
> his embrace to throw a single white rose onto his fathers coffin. She
> touched his hand as she allowed her brother to lead her away. Finally
> Drake was the only one left.

Zorak: [Drake] Sure, don't give me any moral support or anything, ma!

> Drake slowly walked up to the coffin and ran his hand over the cool, wet
> wood. "Oh father! I promise you! I won't let this happen again!"

Brak: Um, unless his dad comes back to life I don't think it *can* happen
again.

> he cried
> as tears began spilling down his cheeks. The tears that he had so bravely
> tried to hide from his mother since they had learned of his death. Laying
> the white rose on his coffin Drake turned and walked away. His father was
> gone forever."

Brak: Nuh-uh, he's in heaven!
Zorak: You *sure* that's where he went?

> Darkwing felt hot tears stinging his face as he turned to the spirit.
> "Why spirit?" he asked. "Why must I be made to relive such pain. I could
> feel everything all over. I knew what I was thinking!"

Zorak: All that electroshock therapy, down the drain!

> "Your bitterness has lasted with you throughout the years. That combined
> with the loss of your mother several years later has eaten you up inside.

Tansit: [German accent] Zis, combined with your fazzination for your
mother und your deep-zeated feelings of inferiority, makes you one zick puppy.

> This was what made you live in solitary high up in the Audubon Bay Tower
> for so many years. While it is good that you wish to fight the elements
> of evil your bitterness often makes you blind to justice and more adept to
> revenge. You must realize that you can't avenge your fathers murder
> through rage. You must also realize that you can't protect Gosalyn from
> the pain of real life."

Tansit: [German accent] I will zend you my bill in ze morning.

> "Gosalyn?" Darkwing started but the spirit had disappeared.

Brak: Gosalyn's a little duck girl. I don't think that spirit was her.

> "Where are you!" Darkwing cried into the night. "You can't leave me
> here!" Suddenly darkness began to engulf him and the world faded away.

Zorak: He's died and gone to "Eraserhead".

> When the room around him came into focus Darkwing was stunned to see he
> was in Gosalyn's room. He turned towards the bed when he heard sobbing.

Tansit: [Gosalyn] Ever since Dad kicked the bucket, I've had to eat
*Launchpad's* cooking! Waaaah!

> Gosalyn was laying there looking at a picture. Darkwing looked closer and
> was able to make out a man and a woman. The woman had red hair and was
> carrying a small child also with red hair.

Tansit: [Drake] Launchpad's secretly married to Feathers Galore?!

> "Gos.." Darkwing said as he began to feel her pain.

Tansit: [Bart Simpson] Ow. Quit it. Ow. Quit it.

> "She cannot hear you." a voice said from behind him.

Brak: [voice] Please speak into the microphone.

> Darkwing turned to
> see a woman with long blonde hair standing behind him. She wore a long
> blue robe that seemed to make her blue eyes glow. On her face, however,
> she wore s sad expression.

Brak: Um, when is this story gonna get happy again?

> "You are?" Darkwing asked.
> "I am the Spirit of Christmas Present." she answered.

Brak: The Spirit of Christmas Presents! Wow! I musta unwrapped a
thousand of ya when I was a kid!

> "I am here to show
> you what you have yet to realize about your actions. Take your daughter
> for example." The woman gestured towards the bed, Drake turned as Gosalyn
> began to speak.

Brak: Maybe this is all just a bad dream, and nobody's died at all.
Zorak: That's right, monkey boy. Never give up hope.

> "Oh mom, dad, why does it have to hurt so much! When will it go away? I
> miss you so! Especially at Christmas. I know how much you loved Christmas,
> mom." She gazed above her bed at a poster of Darkwing then continued.

Tansit: [Gosalyn] They always colored the posters wrong. Dad must be
spinning on his gurney.

> "I
> love Dad too!

Brak: [confused] Which Dad is she talking about *now*?

> I know you sent him to me. I needed him! And I think he
> needed me too! He doesn't say much about his past but I get the feeling it
> wasn't happy." She sat up and leaned against the wall. Tears began to
> fall down her cheeks. "Why can't he understand! I don't want to be
> protected. I know he's trying to do what's right but doesn't her realize
> it's to late? It crushes me when we fight."

Tansit: For a little kid, she sure has it all figured out, doesn't she?

> Gosalyn sighed and looked at where Darkwing was standing. Almost as if
> she knew he were there. "No she can't see you," the spirit said reading
> his thoughts.

Brak: If she could, she'd be screamin' and runnin' the other way.

> Gosalyn picked up another picture. This one was of her and Darkwing. "I
> wonder if the orphanage told you the truth?" she asked the picture.

Zorak: If orphanages don't even tell the parents everything, what makes
you think they're gonna talk to photographs?

> "Do
> you know how my parents even died? Maybe if you did you'd understand." she
> wiped her tears and placed the pictures back in a book. Silently she
> walked past Darkwing and out of her roo

Brak: And out of her Kanga, too.

> "How did they die?" Darkwing asked turning to the spirit.

Zorak: Oh, the usual way. Their hearts quit beating, and a few minutes
later their brains stopped functioning.

> "A man broke into their home. It was Christmas Eve.

Brak: Now I get it.
Tansit: Get what?
Brak: What all this stuff about Darkwing being dead has to do with
Christmas. Everyone's gettin' *killed* on Christmas.
Zorak: Looks like that holiday sale on Saturday Night Specials wasn't such
a hot idea, eh?

> Her parents heard a
> noise downstairs so her father went to investigate. Her mother went to
> Gosalyns room

Zorak: Now there are two *Gosalyns*?! What, do they have a spare of
*every* character?!
Tansit: The way we're losing 'em left and right, that's actually not a bad
idea.

> and took her back into their bedroom. That was when she
> heard the gunshots. She placed Gosalyn into a cabinet and closed the door.

Brak: [Gosalyn's mother] If anyone comes in here, pretend you're a
bowling trophy.

> She prayed that the bugler wouldn't find her.

Zorak: She just HATED reveille!

> Then she ran down the hall
> to the bathroom. She hoped to lead the man away from Gosalyn.

Zorak: The mother duck instinctively leads burglars away from her young by
pretending her wing is broken.

> The man
> stalked up the steps

Tansit: [the man] Be vewy vewy quiet. I'm hunting ducks.

> and busted the lock off the bathroom door and shot
> her. Gosalyn woke Christmas morning, not to the magic of Santa, but to
> the horror of reality.

Brak: [unhappily] I don't like this story any more.
Zorak: You mean you ever did?

> She was awakened not by her mother but by a police
> woman who swept her off in a squad car to her grandfathers.

Zorak: She has two *grandfathers*, too?
Tansit: Doesn't everybody?
Zorak: Oh yeah. Never mind.

> She was five
> years old but she still remembers."
> "My god, I had no idea." Darkwing gasped.
> "As she said perhaps fate put you together so you could heal one another.

Zorak: Dunno about that. Does the word "quarantine" mean anything to you?

> Love can heal many wounds." With her words ringing in Darkwings ear she
> waved her hand and Gosalyns room faded. When the world refocused he found
> himself in a small chapel. "I don't recognize this," Darkwing said
> confused.

Zorak: It's a chapel, nimrod! Aren't you paying attention?

> Suddenly Darkwing noticed the two figures in the corner. One was
> rather tall with a large upper body. The other was short, but both had red
> hair. Darkwing looked questioningly at the spirit.

Zorak: It's Launchpad and Gosalyn, ya idiot! Sheesh!

> "Watch, you will see." she replied.
> Launchpad sat in front of the alter staring straight ahead.

Brak: The altered what?
Tansit: Whatever was altered, it's staring straight ahead.

> He was dimly
> aware of Gosalyn's sobbing.

Zorak: From what I've seen, Launchpad's only dimly aware of *anything*.
Tansit: [laughing] *Who's* a fanboy?
Zorak: [grumbling] I've read too many of these dumb stories.

> "I shoulda made him listen!" he muttered.
> Gosalyn looked up at him with her tear stained face. "You didn't know
> Launchpad." she said.

Brak: [singing] If you knew Launchpad like I knew Launchpad...

> "How could you possibly, even if you had known, you
> know how dad is." She shook her head sadly, "he wouldn't have listened.

Brak: But he *didn't* listen! That's why he's dead! Or whatever!
Zorak: Think of it as evolution in action.

> "Gos, I love ya like my own, you know that don't ya?" He took in a deep
> ragged breath and said, "IF DW doesn't make it, I'll be there for you. I
> know I could never take his place but I'd do the best I could."

Zorak: [Gosalyn] Oh, that makes me feel REAL safe.

> Gosalyn reached over and gave Launchpad a hug. Her tears ran off her
> face and onto his jacket. "I know LP! I love you too!"

Tansit: [Gosalyn] But do me a favor and send me to Drivers' Ed when I'm
old enough. Don't try to teach me yourself.

> They held each other for several minutes as they cried. They looked up
> when a doctor walked in. "I'm sorry to disturb you," he began.

Zorak: [doctor] Has Darkwing signed an organ donors' card?

> "I just
> thought you'd like to know that.." his voice trailed as he looked at
> Gosalyn.

Tansit: Uh-oh. Awkward.

so sez Jen "Call me MiSTer!" White.