[MiSTing] "The New Season" (4/5) THE SPECIAL EDITION
Tjats
> King Acorn paced the cell, deep in the bowels of Robotropolis. "Ah, my
dear
>Sally...where are you?" His pale blue eyes watered slightly, and the squirrel
gently
>brushed the tears away. He peered out the tiny cell window. No consonance
>came to him from that view; it was just more metal buildings and smog-filled
skies,
>all reminders of what had happened to his beautiful city.
SERVO: Because he let himself get overthrown.
> "Ah, my darling Sally!" he cried again, the image of his daughter
strong in
>his mind. If only he could hold her, if only he could hear her voice. He had
seen
>his daughter briefly, about six months ago, when he and Nagus had escaped the
Void
>with the help of Sonic. Outside the Void, they had discovered the
crystallization
>side effect, and he had to reenter the Void, leaving his daughter behind.
MIKE: Back story number two.
> But for that brief time, he had seen how tall she'd grown, and how
strongly
>her features had resembled her mother's.
CROW: Of course she would resemble her mother! Did you think she'd have a
moustache?
>Her hair was no longer styled in a ponytail, but in a shorter cut that framed
her
>beautiful face. And her voice had lost the high pitch of childhood, gaining a
strong,
>sure, womanly quality.
MIKE: Jeez, he's acting as if he wants to take her out.
> He sighed heavily, tears flooding his vision. He had missed years and
years of
>his precious daughter's life...
SERVO: What happened to her mother? Did she run off to Vegas?
> A raspy voice broke King Acorn out of his reverie.
CROW: It was his grandma.
SERVO[granny]: You think you have it tough being in that cell? Why in my day,
we didn't just
sit there, we chewed our way to freedom! Why do you think that we have these
false teeth?
> "Ah, Maximillion. So glad to see you again. Isn't it splendid to be
free from the Void?"
> The squirrel crossed his arms over his chest. "Why are you keeping me
here, Nagus?"
SERVO[Acorn]: I have to get back to my tree.
> Nagus laughed wheezily. "Because, you will not be leader."
MIKE: Then just kill him or something.
> King Acorn's eyes narrowed. "Let me out, Nagus."
> "I think not," said the wizard. He turned to somebody standing down the
hallway.
>"Bring me a drink!"
> "Yes master."
SERVO: Torgo! Show yourself!
> King Acorn listened to the heavy footsteps that faded away down the
hall. "Wasn't
>that Robotnik?"
> "Yes," said Nagus. "But that's not important." A cruel smile sat upon
the wizard's
>toothy mouth. "I have a plan for you...Maximillion Acorn...involving you and
your Sally."
MIKE: Oh, *my* Sally. When we had her it was *our* Sally.
> "If you hurt her..."
> "Not to worry, I only wish to capture her."
CROW[as Nagus]: And put her in my bed.
MIKE: Yup, Crow, you're back to normal all right.
> Robotnik came running down the hall, panting. He handed Nagus a can of
oil.
> "What is this?!"
SERVO[as Robotnik]: It's oil! Duh!
> "A drink, master," groveled Robotnik.
> Nagus popped open the can. Then he turned and emptied the contents of
the can
>over Robotnik's head. Sputtering, the fat tyrant backed away as energy glowed
around
>Nagus's claw.
ALL: Wah, wah, waaaaaah.
> "You may drink this, slave, but I DO NOT!! Get me something REAL to
drink!"
MIKE: Like SURGE!
> Robotnik nodded, and ran off. Maximillion stifled a laugh.
>
CROW: What an act! They should go on tour!
> **************
>
> "Something real, something real...I'll show you something real!"
Robotnik
>laughed, as he filled a cup with coffee. Some powdered poison was carefully
stirred
>into the coffee.
> "Conniving, are we?"
SERVO[as pleasant Robotnik]: Why, yes. Thank you for noticing!
> Robotnik looked over at the door, to see Snively leaning against the
doorframe,
>smiling evilly.
MIKE: In that evilish way that's real evil.
> "It would be just awful if Nagus found out about this, wouldn't it?"
> "You tell him, Snively, and I'll..." threatened Robotnik.
> "You'll what?" demanded his nephew.
SERVO[as Robotnik]: I'll polish your shoes for free! No, wait...that's not
it...
> Robotnik let out a scream of pure rage. +AH4Afg-That's it. This little
bastard's
>dead, and then it's Nagus's turn!! How dare they defy me!!!+AH4Afg-
> Snively just laughed. "Good luck, Julian...you'll need it." He turned
and left.
> Robotnik frowned heavily, picked up the cup, and returned to the cells.
>
> ******************
>
>
> +AH4Afg-Hmmm, guess I was wrong...+AH4Afg-
CROW: You *can't* put coffee into a gas tank and expect it to work.
> Snively flinched as another bolt of magic hit Robotnik.
> +AH4Afg-Guess he does lose his temper...+AH4Afg-
> Robotnik begged for mercy. Chest heaving, Nagus's eyes blazed with
anger.
>Magical energy enveloped his crab claw, and he sent another burst at Robotnik.
>The fat man howled in agony as magic sank into him, frying his nerves--Nagus
>was very skilled with electrical magic.
MIKE: He was able to do it ever since he stuck his tounge in an outlet when he
was ten.
> Snively had been on his way to his bedroom, but had stopped to peer
into the
>command center, hearing screaming. Nagus had drank the poisoned coffee.
However,
>it turned out that the poison, normally fatal to most creatures, only caused
>Nagus a mild stomachache.
SERVO: D'oh!
>The wizard had found out about the poison, and his temper had obviously fled
him.
>He'd been torturing Robotnik for at least fifteen minutes now.
> Eyes riveted,
SERVO: Ouch.
MIKE: You said that already.
>Snively was peeping around the open door into the huge command room. The
screams
>were unpleasant, and he wished to leave. But his feet ignored him, and his
eyes
>would not be moved from the scene.
CROW: It's a body rebellion.
>Robotnik was rolling around like an oversized beach ball caught in a strong
wind.
MIKE: And strangely enough his uniform does make him look like a beach ball.
>Nagus's hideous face was contorted with rage, and his eyes fairly glowed from
the
>power within him.
> Finally, Nagus lowered his claw. Robotnik was crying, actually crying,
on the floor.
> "Poor baby," muttered Snively, a faint smile touching his lips.
> Nagus looked over at him. "Do you know what he did, pointy-nose?"
SERVO: Well, I know that he didn't put stuff in your coffee...d'oh!
> Snively's eyes widened innocently. "No."
> "He attempted to poison me...however, his pathetic toxins had no result
on me."
> "Hmmm."
> "Did you know about his plan?"
> "Me?"
SERVO[as Nagus, sarcastic]: No, the other wimpy, big-headed freak next to you.
> "Yes, you."
> "No...I didn't know."
> Nagus's eyes narrowed. "You knew, didn't you, puny one? And you failed
to tell me."
> Snively shook his head. "I swear, I didn't know"
> Magic was glowing around the wizard's claw again. "Come here."
> Those two words brought trembling to Snively's body...so many times had
those
>words resulted in him being brutally beaten. But he obeyed, walking shakily
into the
>command center to stand before the wizard.
CROW: I wonder if these two ever decided to go on Springer.
> Nagus gripped Snively's chin with his normal hand and stared hard into
his eyes.
>"You knew. I can see it in your eyes."
> "But...but....it didn't hurt you..."
> "So...you admit you were on Robotnik's side?"
> "No! That's not..."
> "Silence!" The magic glowed brighter. "I warned you about mutiny,
little one.
>I have no use for you. Robotnik I shall keep, scheming as he is, but
you...there is no
>need to keep you alive."
MIKE: He's playing bad cop, bad cop, except with one person.
> Snively's eyes widened. "You can't..." Then Nagus's claw clamped around
his neck,
>glowing with blue energy. An agonized howl broke from Snively's throat as
electricity
>flowed from the claw to him, ripping through his body mercilessly. His
fingers flexed
>uncontrollably, every muscle tensed up painfully, and he screamed for Nagus to
stop,
>oh God, please stop...
>
SERVO: And...?
CROW: It stoped.
> Nagus released Robotnik's nephew after a few minutes. The tiny man slid
to the
>ground, unconscious, face still frozen in an expression of pure anguish. "One
more
>chance then, pointy-nose. One more chance for you."
> The wizard sank down in his throne. Robotnik hurried about, working
furiously.
>
SERVO: Quick recovery from a fifteen minute electrical surge.
> **********************
>
>
> "Sally, you can't just rush in!"
> "Sonic, that's my father."
> "But Sal, it's a trick! We need a plan."
CROW[as Sally]: Okay, here's one: I get in trouble, and you save me.
SERVO[as Sonic]: Oh, the usual?
> Princess Sally turned to Sonic, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Since when
>have you ever needed a plan?"
> "Since now."
> Sally clutched a piece of paper in her hand. It was soft and damp from
her sweaty grip,
>but the words were still eligible:
>
> Dear friends,
CROW: Bite me.
>
> Nagus is still in charge. I thought it was funny at first, but it seems
Nagus is
>possible more crueler than Robotnik.
MIKE: You think?
>Robotnik tried to poison him the other day, but Nagus found out. He punished
Robotnik
>real good. Nagus was going to kill Snively (because he knew about the poison,
but didn't
>tell Nagus), but he just fried him with electricity until he passed out.
>Believe me, it is not a pretty sight down here.
SERVO: Uncle Chuck talks gossip like nobody's business.
CROW[Valley girl]: And then Nagus, like, totaly scorched Robotnik, cuz he knew
about the
screw-up in sector fourteen...
> But, that's not the important news. The important news is that King
Acorn was
>also brought out of the Void. Nagus plans to use him to bait a trap. I
believe he
>wants to catch Sally, and possibly Son' as well.
CROW: "Son' "?
>If you come in to get him (he's in the cells),
SERVO: Where else would he be held prisoner? In a bathroom?
>please, be very very careful...Nagus is a dirty one.
> ---Love, Uncle Chuck
MIKE[as Uncle Chuck]: He uses poopie language.
> "Chuck said Nagus 'plans to use him'. Which means, he hasn't come up
with a
>plan yet. Sonic, if we can get him out NOW, then we don't have to risk traps."
CROW: But the note was dated last month, so the trap is probably all set.
SERVO: The post office is just not efficient anymore.
> "Fine," said Sonic. By the gleam in Sally's eyes, there was no way of
talking her
>out of this.
> They headed towards Robotropolis.
>
> *******************
>
> "Nagotropolis. Now that's original." Sonic twirled around, kicking
down the sign at
>the edge of the city.
> "Ah must say, Ah like Mobotropolis the best."
MIKE: Wait a minute! I thought only Sonic and Sally left!
> "We all do," sighed the princess. They moved into the city, slipping
quietly
>through the alleyways.
> They made it to the cells with no problem. Seemed Nagotropolis was
still low on
>SWATbots. At the sight of her father, who was sleeping in his cell, Sally
practically
>jumped with joy. But they moved down the hallway, where
CROW: ...a much more important person was being held captive.
SERVO[Sally]: Davey-Kins! We're here to rescue you!
MIKE[Acorn]: Hey, what about me?
SERVO[Sally]: I'll free you right now, and then you can destroy a thousand
SWATbots by
yourself and marry me!
MIKE[Acorn]: Hey!
SERVO[Sally]: And then you can use your cyborg arm to take me to the edge of
the universe and
make sweet love to me the way you always wanted to!
MIKE: Okay, I think we've gone far enough with this sketch.
>the panel to the cells was located.
> On the panel was a hand-shaped touchpad, which preformed a hand-scan
that was
>required to unlock the cell. The touchpad only recognized the hand-prints of
Robotnik
>and Snively.
SERVO: So, Nagus kept Robotnik because he just wanted to use his hand to open
locks?
> A voice recognition was also required. Sally took out NICOLE.
"NICOLE, play RBUNLOCK."
> "Playing Sally," responded the computer.
>There was a click and Robotnik's voice growled out of the speaker. "Unlock."
> "Voice recognized as Doctor Robotnik. Hand-scan required."
> "NICOLE, play RBYELL."
> "Playing Sally."
>There was another click and from NICOLE's speaker, Robotnik screamed, "Open
up, you
>blasted thing, or I will personally rip out your motherboard!!"
> "Hand-scan unnecessary," droned the panel.
SERVO: Oh, this guy stole that from "Sonic and Sally"!
> The cell had no door really, bars of electricity. The panel deactivated
the
>electricity, leaving the cell open.
CROW[confused]: But, it was already open, exept it had electricity around it.
MIKE: And couldn't you just use a big mirror to deflect the bars?
> King Acorn had awakened at the sound of Robotnik, and noticed his cell
was
>open. Cautiously, he approached the hallway and looked both ways. A huge
smiled
>spread across his face as he saw his daughter. "Sally!"
> "Daddy!" squealed Sally, running down the hall. She launched herself
at her father,
CROW: ...blowing him up.
>who caught her and lifted her off the ground in a fierce embrace.
> He set her down, beaming. "My little Bean!
SERVO[Acorn]: Can I plant you sometime?
>God, am I happy to see you." His expression turned serious. "But it's
dangerous
>here. Nagus is planning a trap."
> "We know, daddy. Uncle Chuck told us."
> "Sir Charles? I thought he was roboticized."
CROW[Monty Python voice]: He got better!
> "He was. But he got his free will back. Now he works as a spy for us."
> "He's extraordinary. I'm sure that makes you happy, Sonic." King Acorn
looked over
>at the hedgehog.
> "Yeah, your highness, it does."
> "Hallo, yer Majesty," said Bunnie, curtseying.
CROW: How can you curtsey without a skirt?
> "None of these formalities, child. Is KnotHole still intact?"
> "Yeah."
> "Good, good." The king looked anxious. "Let us go."
>
> *****************
>
> Outside the command center, the group of four crept from shadow to
shadow. Two
>SWATbots emerged from around a building and caught sight of them.
SERVO[as SWATbot]: PEEKABOO. WE-SEE-YOU.
>
> "Master, the hedgehog has been spotted!"
> Nagus looked at the surveillance monitors. "Ah, he of the incredible
speed. Fantastic!"
> Robotnik smiled nervously.
> "Well, slave?! Capture him!"
> "That is no easy task, master."
MIKE[as Robotnik]: Because I'm in this building and they're half a mile away.
> Nagus frowned in annoyance. Feeling very lackey-ish, Robotnik quickly
turned
>back to the control panel.
>
>
> "He's going all out today, isn't he?" asked Sonic, as they ducked into
an
>alleyway to evade a group of SWATbots.
> "Oh poopy!"
CROW: Doctor Forrester?
SERVO: Is he in this fanfic?
>Another SWAT group came into the alley entrance in front of them. They
whirled
>around, and sure enough, the robots behind them were blocking their rear exit.
> "We're trapped!" cried the king.
CROW: Waaaahhhhhh!
> "Don't worry," said Sonic. "I'll bowl right through 'em." He curled up
for a
>spin-dash attack.
> A glob of green slime came out of one of the lead 'bot's gun.
Drenched, Sonic
>found himself stuck to the ground. "Megamuck!" he yelped.
> "Damn," swore Sally, grabbing Sonic's arm. She struggled to pull him
free. "Come
>on, help!"
SERVO: I need somebody!
> Bunnie and King Acorn grabbed ahold of Sonic also, but he was stuck
fast.
> "Come on, guys!" yelled Sonic. The SWATs moved closer.
MIKE: Oh, Nagus called in the SWAT team!
> "Unnnn...ugh...uh...come on..."growled Sally, the muscles in her arms
bulging.
CROW: A princess with muscles?
SERVO: It works for Xena.
> "Surrender." The SWATs lifted their guns.
>
> ****************
>
> "The SWATs have him trapped, master," said Robotnik gleefully.
> "Good! Do those metal men have uh...those guns that bring sleep?"
> Robotnik thought for a moment. "Stun guns?"
> "Yes. That's it."
SERVO: So Nagus, an all-powerful being, can't figure out how to say "Set
phasers to stun?"
> "Yes, they do, master."
> "Tell them to use those. I want him alive!"
> Robotnik contacted the lead 'bot through the com link. "SWAT leader,
switch to stun."
> "Confirmed."
>
>
> There was a high-pitch whine as the guns warmed up to stun. King Acorn
hugged
>Sally to him as the guns took aim. Then the lead 'bot stood still and droned.
ALL[deadpan]: WE ARE THE SWATBOTS. LOWER YOUR SHIELDS AND SURRENDER YOUR
SHIPS. WE WILL
TRY TO CAPTURE YOU BUT FAIL INCOMPITENTLY. RESISTANCE IS POINTLESS.
>"Priority one-hedgehog, Overridden. Revert to Priority Two-return to
stations."
SERVO[announcer]: The latest invention for authors, Plot Contrivance in a Box
can
solve all your plotline hassles at the push of a button!
> The robots nodded at each other, and then left.
> "What the hoo hah?" asked Bunnie.
MIKE[Southern accent]: What the doo-dah in the ding-ding and the goo-foo?
> "Who cares?" shrugged Sonic. "Grab on!"
> Sally leapt into his arms.
> "Grab onto Sonic, yer Majesty," said Bunnie. The King did so, and
Bunnie clutched
>the king around the waist.
> "You ready?" asked Sonic.
> "Ready!"
> "Hold on tight!" Sonic revved up, and then took off.
>
CROW: But, wasn't he still stuck in the megamuck?
SERVO[announcer]: Yes, look at how Plot Contrivance in a Box solved two
inescapable
situations at once! A must-have for fanfic authors!
>
> Robotnik gasped.
> "That does not sound good," snarled Nagus. "What has happened?" His
eyes sought
>out the surveillance monitors. "The metal men are leaving-why?"
> "They've received a signal," Robotnik said nervously, watching Sonic
and Co.
>disappear out of the city. "They're reverting to Priority 2-to guard their
stations."
> "Did you give the signal?"
> "No, master. Of course not."
> "Where has this signal come from?"
> "It came...from some sort of remote control. Like the one Snively..."
SERVO: Now let's see how long until Nagus figures this one out.
>Robotnik's voice trailed off and his eyes narrowed. +AH4Afg-I knew I
should've
>taken that remote away from him...he using it to get me in trouble!+AH4Afg-
MIKE[as caveman]: He using remote! Me catch him! Make new skin coat!
>The small red remote could control most of the robots in Robotropolis, and
Snively
>usually carried it around in his pocket. He used it to zap disobeying 'bots
and had
>once fried the circuits of Robotnik's beloved pet chicken, Cluck (he had
received a
>severe beating for that!).
CROW: Though they didn't show it in that episode.
> "So," said Nagus, scratching his beard, "So, this is the doing of the
pointy-nose?"
> "Yes, yes it is," growled Robotnik, his fists clenching. +AH4Afg-Ooh
Snively,
>the camel's back is broken from this last straw.
SERVO: Huh?
>When I get my hands on you, dear dear nephew, you'll be the one who's broken!
I'll
>crush your little skull, I'll rip your lungs out of your chest, I'll castrate
you,
>you little bastard!!+AH4Afg-
CROW: And since when has Robotnik taken to actualy making good on his vows?
>
> *****************
>
> Around the king's feet, joyful bodies knelt and gazed up at the monarch
happily.
ALL: We love it when you order us around like slaves!
> "Come now," said the king, smiling. His eyes wandered over the
landscape of
>KnotHole. "Please, rise!"
SERVO: What does he think they are? Yeast?
>The citizens of KnotHole clambered to their feet.
> "For now, I am not king and I require no special attentions.
MIKE[as King Acorn]: Though you can still pamper me if you wish, please.
>Rather it is you I should kneel before--you are brave, strong; the noblest
group I
>have ever encountered." He smiled again. "And I am proud to call myself a
Freedom Fighter!"
> The crowd cheered. "
> "Your Majesty, should we still call you king?" asked Rotor.
> "It is not necessary. You may call me Max, if you wish."
ALL: WHAT?
SERVO: Max?
CROW: Why?
MIKE: Rags to riches on purpose!
SERVO[announcer]: Warning: Plot Contrivance in a Box is not intended for
overuse and may
cause severe and unwanted plot twists that will confuse readers out of their
skulls.
>
>
> *****************************
>
>
> Sliding on his belly, Snively crawled through the air duct tunnels that
ran along
>the ceilings and through the walls of the main egg-shaped building. He had
been in
>here for hours, hiding out. The remote was in his pocket.
CROW: Yes, Robotnik's favorite shape: The egg!
> +AH4Afg-God, I have to pee.+AH4Afg-
SERVO: Well could you keep it to yourself, please?
>Squirming on his belly like this put maddening pressure on his bladder, and it
took
>effort not to wet his pants. Besides that, he was still in pain from the
electricity
>Nagus had fried his nerves with, and tremors shook his body occasionally.
MIKE: Peeing is the next plot point? Geez, this guy is getting desperate.
> He wiggled down the tunnel, and saw light streaming up from a grate.
The grates
>were scattered around everywhere in the tunnels; they let air travel out of
the air
>ducts and into the building.
CROW: Which is what grates are supposed to do.
SERVO: Aren't grates great?
>He looked down through the grate, and saw a bedroom. Who's bedroom it was, he
couldn't
>tell. He saw only the corner of a bed. There was no noise from below.
> "Should I go down?" he whispered. "Or not?" Nagus, and probably
Robotnik as
>well, would seriously maim him after that little trick with the remote early
that
>morning. But his need to find a bathroom, and quickly, made his decision for
him.
MIKE: So he wet 'em.
> He grabbed the grate with both hands. He pulled up. Nothing happened.
He gave
>it a hard downward push, expecting it to resist. But it flew out, clattering
onto
>the floor below, and the force of his push made him fall through the hole.
SERVO: And in a flash Snively became Tim Allen.
> "Ahh!" he yelped, dangling half-in, half-out of the hole. He wiggled
his legs
>inside the tunnel, trying to get his front half back into the duct.
> Then the door opened.
>
>
> Robotnik entered his room and immediately stopped. Hanging upside down
from
>the opened grate in the air duct was his nephew. Then he ran over, reached
up, and
>grabbed Snively by the arms, pulling him out.
> "There you are! I'm going to kill you!"
MIKE: Did Robotnik get up on the wrong side of bed this morning?
> Snively struggled, but Robotnik's hands were closed around his chest,
holding him firmly.
> "Let go! I've got to piss!" said Snively.
CROW: This whole story is silly!
>That was about the only thing on his mind at the moment, trying as he was to
hold it in.
> "Then piss," growled Robotnik, drawing back a fist. He slammed it into
Sniv's
>stomach, and then dropped him to the floor.
> There was a sense of vast relief, as the force of the blow was too much
on Sniv's
>poor bladder, causing it to spill its contents. Then shame as Snively realized
he was
>soaking wet. And then finally, fear, as he looked up and saw his very angry
>uncle, fists clenched, glaring down at him.
> "You little bastard," said Robotnik. "What the hell were you doing?!
Trying to
>get me in trouble?!"
MIKE: Robotnik's back...and he's pissed.
SERVO: No, I think Snively's *pissed*! Ha, ha!
[Crow and Mike groan.]
> "No..." said Snively. Now that he thought about it, he had no idea why
he'd saved
>the Freedom Fighters.
SERVO: The dope.
> Robotnik bellowed in fury and lunged at his nephew. But Snively
skittered out of
>the way, pushed open the door, and ran off down the hallway. Robotnik pursued
him,
>but stopped, panting.
> "I'll -pant- get you some other time, Snively. Whew..." Robotnik wiped
sweat
>off his brow and returned to his room.
MIKE: He got winded from just walking three feet.
>
>
> Snively stopped by his room quickly. After changing his soaked
clothes, he
>grabbed a few things and shoved them into a bag.
> "I've got to get out of here before Nagus finds me," he muttered,
slinging the
>bag over his shoulder. He crept out into the hallway, casting hunted glances
around.
>Two SWATbots spotted him on the lower floors, but they were not
>programmed to pursue him. Not yet, anyway.
CROW: And the story has yet another chance of killing him and ending early.
But *no*!
MIKE: Calm down, Crow.
> Out in the streets, he felt a bit more vulnerable. SpyEyes whirled
about everywhere,
>and they had the habit of sneaking up behind someone and following them
around. If one
>started to tag along behind him, then he was sure to be spotted on the
surveillance monitors.
SERVO AND CROW[as SpeyEyes]: Peekaboo! We see you!
> He avoided the floating cameras by staying in the shadows. One headed
his way,
>and he panicked. But then he remembered the remote in his pocket. He pulled it
out,
>aimed it at the SpyEye, and pressed the button. The camera changed course.
SERVO: That's the third time Snively could have been killed but didn't.
MIKE: At least this one was explainable.
> "Whew," he sighed.
CROW: That about sums up our comments too.
[Mike picks up Servo and they all leave the theater.]
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