MiSTied: Evolution in Cold Blood 2/6
rcoa...@forest.drew.edu
From: Coakley, Robert
RCOAKLEY
Dept: STUDENT
Tel No: (201)-408-5013
TO: Remote INTERNET Address ( _IN%ALT-TV...@CS.UTEXAS.EDU )
TO: Remote INTERNET Address ( _IN%REC-ARTS-TV...@CS.UTEXAS.EDU )
Subject: MiSTied: Evolution in Cold Blood 2/6
Date: 05-Oct-1995 03:15am EST
From: Coakley, Robert
RCOAKLEY
Dept: STUDENT
Tel No: (201)-408-5013
TO: Remote INTERNET Address ( _IN%MNE...@ENGIN.UMICH.EDU )
Subject: MiSTied: Evolution in Cold Blood 2/6
<SOL>
<Mike and 'bots look worried>
MAGIC VOICE: What's wrong, guys.
MIKE: We're worried about Ryoga.
TOM: If Dr. Forrester uses that invention on him, it could
turn him into a mindless vegetable.
MAGIC VOICE: Don't worry guys, Ryoga's fine so far.
I've been monitoring him. See?
<Deep 13>
<Dr. Forrester and Ryoga are scrubbing the floor of
Deep 13 with toothbrushes. Ryoga is still talking.>
RYOGA: Banana bread, cheddar cheese bread, plum bread,
chicken bread, jalapino pepper bread, mint bread,
peach bread, chocolate bread, tea leaf bread...
<Dr. Forrester turns to the camera and whispers>
DR. F: Help me....
RYOGA: Turnip bread, lemon bread, cinnemon bread....
<SOL>
MIKE: Oh, so he's still safe.
TOM: Wanna try to do a skit so Ryoga will run from Deep 13
like a bullet from a gun?
<Lights buzzers>
MIKE: Maybe later, cause we've got MOVIE SIIIIGN!!!
<Door sequence>
<Mike and 'bots enter theater>
> B U B B L E G U M C R I S I S:
>
> Evolution In Cold Blood, Part 2
MIKE: Wish I had some bread.
TOM: There's apple bread, and bread burgers, and...
>
> Written by M. Mckenzie, based on characters
> and situations from the OVA series.
> The story so far: A series of brutal killings has occured
>in Mega Tokyo. The culprit, a strange creature, is being pursued
>by Leon McNichol. This creature was also responsible for
>breaking up Leon's date with Priss.
TOM: At least it's good for something!
> Leon ran, following the trail the thing had left. It had
>killed three more people since it had appeared at the bar. The
>trail it had left was a bloody one. In his mind, Leon hoped that
>the AD Police would arrive quickly.
TOM: Not too quickly I hope. Let Leon fight it first. Unarmed.
MIKE: He will be after that lizard gets through with him.
CROW: Unlegged, too.
> He felt bad about leaving Priss; he felt worse about not
>explaining to her the name he had mentioned.
MIKE: Forgeting all about the people killed in the bar.
> "Velociraptor" was the name of a dinosaur that Leon had read
>about some time ago. It was six feet tall, and a ferocious
>killer-even more than the dreaded Tyrannosaurus Rex.
TOM: Um, I've *already read* Jurassic Park!!!
CROW: I found Raptor Red if you were looking for it.
>What he had
>seen, however, looked _human_--and besides, what the the hell was
>a dinosaur doing in Mega Tokyo?
TOM: Don't sweat it. It will all be explained.
> He had arrived at a three-story mall.
CROW: And all three of the stories were written and drawn for
Dark Horse Manga by Adam Warren.
TOM: _Grand Mal_ was a fine work, you hear me! A *fine* work!
>People were running
>out of the front doors. It's in there, he tought.
MIKE: He tought he taw a puddy tat!
>Pushing his
>way through the crowd, he entered the mall. What he saw made him
>gag.
TOM: Such wasteful extravigance could make anyone gag.
>The headless body of a young girl lay near him. A bloody
>trail was smeared on an escalator. Leon headed up to the next
>level, checking every dark corner.
> The blood trail went on for a distance, then it stopped.
> Leon saw it.
> It was hunched over a victim, tearing and chewing at the
>body.
CROW: Oh, he'll spoil his appetite.
>Buma, hell! Leon bit back the urge to vomit;
MIKE: Reading this, I know the feeling.
>instead, he
>lifted his gun and yelled, "Don'tmove! This is the AD Police!
>Turn around and...and put your hands up!"
CROW <mellow>: I thought the police always said "Freeze"
> The thing froze, then it stood upright and faced Leon. He
>got a better view of it. It had human proportions, with a
>muscular chest and neck, but the lizard-like head regarded him
>with its glaring red eyes.
TOM <DeNiro>: You talkin' to me?
>The mouth opened, revealing wickedly
>large and sharp teeth. A low growl came from its throat.
MIKE: Grrrr. I want to see Stan Winston, NOW!
> Leon thumbed
CROW: ...a ride from a passing car.
>the safety off. "Don't move or I'll shoot!"
> The creature jumped.
<All jump in surprise>
> Leon fired twice before a powerful blow sent him sprawling
>and his gun flying. He smashed through a storefront window, his
>jacket and shirt shredded, his head pounding.
MIKE <accent>: The raptor is made of liquid metal.
>He pulled himself
>up, but he couldn't stand. A signal wasn't getting through to
>the right place. He saw his gun, lying on the ground, seemingly
>a million miles away.
> "Uh-oh..." A dark shadow fell over him.
CROW <little kid>: Uncle Barnabas is gonna do something really bad!
>Leon found himself looking up at the face of death--
TOM: The Victor Mature one, or the one with David Caruso?
MIKE: That's *Kiss* of Death.
> --When the creature backed away, screaming. Blood spurted
>from its right eye;
MIKE: Damn contact lenses!
>it reached up and pulled out a long steel
>needle from the bloody mess and threw it to the floor.
CROW: Whassamatter? Can't take a little needling?
<Mike and Tom groan at such a lame joke>
> Four figures dropped down and surrounded the creature. Leon
>grinned, even though it hurt.
TOM: We only laugh when he hurts!
> The Knight Sabers had arrived.
MIKE: And there was much rejoicing.
'BOTS <monotone>: Yay.
>
> "Knight Sabers...GO!"
TOM <excited>: Mastadon Lion Thunderzord Power!!!
<Mike and Crow stare at Tom>
TOM <embarassed>: Heh. Excuse me.
> At Celia's command, Linna, Nene, and Priss readied
>themselves for action.
MIKE: *After* Sylia said "Go?"
CROW: They were expecting her to say "Ny-to Sabers...Sanjo!"
MIKE: Not bad, Crow.
CROW: Well, some of my parts are from Japan.
> "Priss! Is that what you saw?" Nene asked.
TOM <sarcastic>: No. It was a *different* six foot homicidal lizard.
We'd better leave this one alone and go after the other one.
> "Yeah! Be careful! It's going to--"
> With a howl, the creature charged.
CROW <snooty voice>: Sorry, we don't take "Jurassic Express."
>Celia's green-blue suit
>fired a blast from the disrupter in its right palm.
MIKE: Is this anything like that "Jet Jaguar" guy you two told me about?
TOM: Sort of, only I doubt these girls can program themselves to grow.
CROW: Yeah. That's what silicone is for.
MIKE: Crow...
>The creature dodged and swung its arm. The claws barely missed her as she
>leaped away. Priss and Linna fired their weapons, but the beast,
>with uncanny ease, evaded them.
TOM <taunting>: Missed me, missed me.
>Screaming, Nene let loose with
>her hardsuit's lasers.
MIKE: Gee. Nene panicked. What a surprise.
>The beams hit the creature, punching
>through flesh and bone.
TOM: With Dennis Quiad and Meg Ryan.
CROW <James Caan>: You brung her to me.
>It went down in a pool of blood and did not move.
MIKE: Should have read the sign that said "No Diving."
> Cautiously, the Knight Sabers approached, weapons trained on
>it.
> "Good work, Nene," Celia said.
TOM: Nene kicks butt...when she panics, at least.
> "Yeck! What is it?" Linna asked.
> "Looks like a dinosaur," Priss added. "Leon!" She turned
>and looked at where Leon was. He was standing outside the
>shattered glass, unsteady, looking at the four Knight Sbers.
CROW: Why is it everytime the Knight Sabers arrive, Leon can
only stare at them like an idiot?
TOM: What do you mean *like* an idiot?
MIKE: The idea of strong and independent women is totally foreign
to Leon, so his brain shuts down...even more-so than usual.
>No one spoke or moved until Linna said, "Hey, let's go. We've
>already killed it, right?"
> "Yeah, let's go," Priss echoed, still looking at Leon.
TOM: What stirring dialogue!
> Then all hell broke loose.
CROW: C'mon. That Star Trek fanfic sucked.
> The creature shot up from the floor and caught Priss by the
>neck. It flung her against the wall and slashed at her with its
>claws.
MIKE: Boy, does this guy need a manicure.
> "PRISS!!"
TOM: STELLA!!!
MIKE: ADRIAN!!!
CROW: WILMA!!!
> The other Knight Sabers pointed their weapons, but they
>couldn't fire; Priss was in danger of being hit.
MIKE: I'd put her out of her misery, so she wouldn't have to date Leon.
>The creature didn't care about this fact;
TOM: Please don't cloud the issue with facts.
>it was digging its claws into the
>armor of Priss' hardsuit. Priss struggled, but the hardsuit's
>enhanced strength couldn't break free of the beast's grasp. It
>smashed her head against the wall; Priss saw stars,
MIKE <Roger Rabbit>: Look, Raul! Stars!
>then teeth, as the thing attempted to bite through her helmet.
TOM <creature> Gimme some sugar, baby.
> A shot rang out.
CROW: A door slammed. A maid screamed. Suddenly a pirate ship
appeared on the horizon!
> The creature stiffened, then its head exploded in a spray of
>blood, bone, and brains.
TOM <weakly>: Nice...alliteration.
>It released Priss, staggered back, and
>fell, blood pumping out of the mess that was once its head.
MIKE <nausious>: Oh, geeze...
<All look ready to wretch>
> Leon brought down his smoking gun.
TOM <recovering slightly>: You....guys, okay?
CROW <weak>: Yeah, if nothing else is said that will make us...
>"Don't mess with the champion marksman of the AD Police!" he said.
<All wretch big time>
>Walking over to
>the body, he took a glance, then regarded the Knight Sabers.
CROW: Ohh, I hope that's it.
MIKE: I'll get some sawdust later.
>"You okay?" he asked, his eyes steady on Priss' blue pinkish-red
TOM <Priss>: Hey! Watch where you're staring, Leon!
CROW <Leon>: I am!
>hardsuit. When no one answered, he added, "Well, I'll take it
>from here. And--thanks. Again."
> Without a word, the Knight Sabers jumped up to the mall's
>third level and were gone.
MIKE: Attention, there is a special on 33-S bumas on level 3!
> "Hmmm," Leon said, watching them go. He turned to the left,
>where he heard the sirens of several AD Police vehicles.
TOM: Cops always seem to arrive *after* all the action, don't they?
> "'Bout time. And as for you, you ugly motherfu--" He
>stopped short.
MIKE: Phew! The FCC would have nailed us!
> The lizard-like creature was changing. The flesh was
>rippling, twisting, transforming--
CROW <Minnesota voice>: Oh, dis must be that morphing
process I've heard so much about.
TOM: Oh, ya.
> Leon stepped back. "What the HELL is going on here?"
CROW: At Comedy Central!
MIKE: Kiss-up.
CROW: It got us back to midnight!
> Lying in front of him was a naked man.
<Mike suddenly jumps to his feet and points a Super-Soaker (tm)
at Crow>
MIKE <Samuel L. Jackson>: Go on, say it! I *dare* you to say it!
I *double* dare you!
CROW: I...I wasn't going to say anything!
<Mike sits down. Crow edges away from him.>
>
> High above Mega Tokyo, an unusual aircraft made a 180 turn
>and headed away from the mall. Inside, the Knight Sabers removed
>their helmets. Priss turned hers around, grimacing at the damge
>it had recieved.
TOM <Priss>: Just when it was out of garantee.
> "Mmmm, he was pretty hungry, Priss," Linna said.
> "Yeah."
MIKE: Crunchy on the outside, chewy on the inside, man-lizards go
wild for the rich taste of Knight Sabers!
> Celia asked, "Priss, are you okay? Really."
> Priss shrugged. "The suit took some damage, but it held up."
> "But if Leon hadn't been there, Priss--well, you know," Nene
>replied.
CROW: Priss is depressed since she figures she "owes" Leon something.
> Priss became silent. Fom the cockpit, Mackie turned and
>asked, "Jeez sis, what the hell went on down there?"
'BOTS: Howard Mackie?!?!?! Noooooo!!!!
TOM: Gambit Limited Series! Ack!
CROW: Rogue Limited Series! Bleack!
MIKE: Be cool guys. It's not Howard Mackie, it's just
Celia's brother.
TOM: Oh. I was worried!
CROW: As long as it's not the Ratliff of Marvel Comics, I'm happy.
> "I don't know, little brother," Celia said. "I've never
>seen anything like it before."
MIKE: And I've watched a _lot_ of sci-fi movies!
> "Yeah!" Linna added. "It was fast as hell! It definitely
>wasn't a Buma!!"
CROW <Linna>: *They* move like turtles!
> "Leon said something--uh, the word 'velociraptor'. I guess
>it resembled something like it." Priss said.
TOM <stupid>: I like Jell-O.
> "Velociraptor?" Celia asked in wonder. Turning to Nene, she
>said, "Nene, get us some information tommorrow when you go to
>work. There's got to be an explanation behind all this."
TOM: That gives me an idea. Let's go.
<Exit>