REPOST: MiSTing "The Odyssey" (pt.6)
Tjats
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>When dawn with fingertips of rose
Mike: How do they know it's dawn? They're in a cave with the door shut.
>the rams began to stir, moving for pasture,
>and peals of bleating echoed round the pens
>where dams with utters full called for a milking.
Crow: Robbie, you made a boo-boo! Rams are not dams, and certainly wouldn't
be usefull *as* one!
>Blinded, and sick with pain from his head wound,
>the master stroked each ram, then let it pass,
>but my men riding on the pectoral fleece
>the giant's blind hands blundering never found.
Servo: I can name a kagillion things wrong with that sentence!
>Last of them all my ram, the leader, came,
>weighted by woll and me with my meditations.
>The Cyclops patted him, and then he said:
>
>'Sweet cousin ram,
Crow: Cousin? I hope not!
>why lag behind the rest
>in the night cave You never linger so,
>but graze before them all, and go afar
>to crop sweet grass, and take your stately way
>leading along the streems, until at evening
>you run to be the first one in the fold.
Mike: Do you suppose Odysseus is under it, waiting to escape?!?
>Why, now, so far behind? Can you be grieving
>over your master's eye?
Crow[muffled, as Odysseus]: Yes! That's it! Now leave me alone!
>That carrion rouge
Mike: Cambot? A little help?
Cbot1:>carrion rouge: Repulsive scoundrel.
Crow: Thakns.
>and his accurst companions burnt it out
>when he had conquered all my wits with wine.
>Nohbdy will not get out alive, I swear.
Mike: So *Evrybdy* will get out alive?
The 'Bots chuckle, Ortega grunts a laugh.
>Oh, had you brain and voice to tell
>where he be now, dodging all my fury!
Mike[as Cyclops]: I think I'll take it all out on you!
Crow[muffled, as Odysseus]: No! Wait!
>Bashed by this hand and bashed on this rock wall
>his brains would strew the floor, and I should have rest from the outrage
> Nohbdy worked upon me.'
>
>He sent us into the open, then. Close by,
>I dropped and rolled clear of the ram's belly,
>going this way and that to untie the men.
>With many glances back, we rounded up
>his fat, stiff-legged sheep to take aboard,
>and drove them down to where the good ship lay,
>shining; then we saw them turn to grief
Mike: when they found out I was still alive.
>tallying those who had not fled from death.
>I hushed them, jerking head and eyebrows up,
Servo[as crewmember]: Ow!
>and in a ow voice told them: 'Load this herd;
>move fast, and put the ship's head toward the breakers.'
Mike: Oh, good. They're going to break the ship apart.
>They all pitched in at loading, then embarked
>and struck their oars into the sea. Far out,
Crow[hippie voice]: Far out, maaan!
>as far offshore as shouted words would carry,
>I sent a few backto the adversary:
>'O Cyclops! Would you
Mike: like some of my fruitcake? It's delicious!
>feast on my companions?
>Puny, am I, in a cave man's hands?
>How do you like the beating that we gave you,
>you damned cannibal?
Servo[as Cyclops]: I like it very much!
>Eater of guests
>under your roof! Zeus and the gods have paid you!'
>
>The blind thing in his doubled fury broke
>a hilltop in his hands and heaved it after us.
>Ahead of our black prow it struck and sank
Mike: Odysseus is the hero? He's so stupid, he could get himself killed!
Crow: Yeah! Yelling after the Cyclops like that!
>whelmed in a spuming geyser, a giant wave
>that washed the ship
Servo: Oh, that was nice of the Cyclops.
Mike and Crow: Yeah!
>stern foremost back to shore.
Servo[as Homer Simpson]: D'oh!
>I got the longest boat hook out and stood
>fending off, with furious nods to all
>to put their backs into a racing stroke-
>row, row, or perish. So the long oars bent
>kicking the foam sternward, making head
>until we drew away, and twice as far.
>Now when I cupped my hands I heard the crew
>in low voices protesting:
>
>'Godsake, Captain! Why bait the beast again? Let him alone!'
Crow[as crewmen]: Uh, we mean, "leave him alone"!
>
>'That tidal wave he made on the first throw
>all but beached us.'
>
>'All but stove us in!' 'Give him our bearing with your trumpeting,
Servo: Odysseus is using a trumpet?
Crow: I tell you, reading this is like having someone blow a trumpet in my
ear!
>he'll get the range and lob a boulder.'
>
>'Aye He'll smash our timbers and our heads together!'
>
>I would not heed them in my glorying spirit,
>but let my anger flare and yelled:
>
>'Cyclpops, if ever mortal man inquire
>how you were put to shame and blinded, tell him
>Odysseus, raider of cities, took your eye:
>Laertes' son, whose home's on Ithaca!'
Mike: Dope! Don't tell him who you are!
>
>At this he gave a mighty sob and umbled:
>
>Now comes the weird upon me, spoken of old.
>A wizard, grand and wondorous, lived here-Telemus,
>a son of Eurymus; great length of days
>he had in wizardty among the Cyclopes,
Crow: before we are him!
>and these things he foretold for time to come:
>my great eye lost, and at Odysseus' hands.
>Always I had in mind some giant, armed
>in giant force, would come against me here.
Mike: like a giant?
>But this, but you-small, pitiful and twiggy-
>you put me down with wine, you blinded me.
>Come back, Odysseus, and I'll treat you well,
Crow makes evil laughing sounds.
>prating the god of earthquake to befriend you-
>his son I am, for he by his avowal
Mike: Cambot?
Cambot: Sorry, Mike. It's not in my vocabulary bank.
>fathered me, and , if he will, he may
>heal me of this black wound-ha and no other
>of all the happy gods of mortal men.'
>
>Few words I shouted in reply to him:
>
>If I could take your life I would and take
>your time away, and hurl you down to hell!
>The god of earthquake could not heal you there!'
Crow: Those were "a few" words?
>
>At this he stretched his hands out in the darkness
>toward the sky of stars, and prayed Poseidon:
>
>'O hear me, lord, blue girdler of the islands,
>if I am thins indeed, and thou art father:
>grant that Odysseus, raider of cities, never
>see his home: Laertes' son, I mean,
Crow[as Poseidon]: I know who he is! Get on with it!
>who kept his hall on Ithaca. Should destiny
>intend that he shall see his roof again
>among his family in his father land,
>far be that day, and dark the yars between.
>Let him loose all comanions, and return
>under strange sail to bitter days at home.'
>
>In these words he prayed, and the god heard him.
>Now he laid hands upon a bigger stone
>and wheeled around, titanic for the cast,
Mike: killing Leonardo DeCaprio and Kate Winslet.
>to let it fly in the black-prowed vessel's track.
>But it fell short, just aft the steering oar,
>and whelming seas rose giant above the stone
>to bear us onward toward the island.
Servo: You know, Odysseus could have just said, "no thanks".
>
>There as we ranin we saw the squadron waiting,
>the trim ships drawn up the side by side, and all
>our troubled friends who waited looking seaward.
>We beached her,
All: Yay! Now they can't go anywhere anymore! Yay!
>grinding keel in the soft sand,
>and waded in,
Mike: Haven't they ever heard of anchors?
>ourselves, on the sandy beach.
>Then we unloaded all of Cyclops' flock
>to make division, share and share alike,
>anly my fighters voted that my ram,
>the prize of all, should go to me. I slew him
>by the seaside and burnt his long thighboes
>to Zeus beyond the stormcloud.
Crow: And then I did the same thing with my ram.
Mike and Servo chuckle, Ortega grunts.
>Cronus' son,
>who rules the world. But Zeus disdained my offering;
>destruction for my ships ha had in store
>and death for those who sailed them, my companions.
Mike: But still, not a major loss...
>Now all day long untill the sun went down
>we made our feast on mutton and sweet wine,
>till after sunset in the gathering dark
>we went to sleep above the wash of ripples.
>
>When the young Dawn with
Mike: "fingertips of rose", I know.
>fingertips of rose
>touched the world, I roused the men, gave orders
>to man the ships, cast off the mooring lines;
>and filling in to sit beside the rowlocks
>oarsmen in line dipped oars in the gray sea.
>So we moved out, sad in the vast offing,
Cbot1:>offing: The distant part of the sea visible from the shore.
Mike: We don't care anymore, Cambot.
Cambot: Sorry.
>having our precious lives, but not our friends.
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Questions? Concerns? Comments? Complaints?
e-mail tj...@aol.com
Jim, the Mistie, Trekker, X-Phile, comic freak(take your pick)
"Watch out for Cyclopes!"
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