<MiSTing> MMPR:TM- The Script [8/11]

[TCurryFan]

<6 5 4 3 2 @>

<SOL- Theater>

>
> 59 EXT. INNER CITY CONSTRUCTION SITE - DAY 59
>
> The bulldozers and earth movers have dug out a twenty foot
> pit. IVAN leads Goldar and Mordant through the site, passing
> dozens of laboring parents.

All: <breathe heavily (they're "laboring", see?)>

>
> MORDANT
> As soon as we've taken over the
> world I'm gonna change my name to
> Sir Mordant. Or how about MAJOR
> Mordant?!
>
> GOLDAR
> How about Major Moron?

TOM: That works, too.

>
> IVAN
> How about the two of you shut Up
> and pay attention!!

MIKE: Huh? I wasn't paying attention.

>
> The entourage comes to a stop, Goldar and Mordant can't
> believe what's before them.

CROW: Oh, my God, congress!
MIKE & TOM: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!

>
> MORDANT
> What is THAT!

TOM: That: pronoun. A person, thing, or idea indicated,
mentioned, or understood from the situation.

>
> INCLUDE - A HUGE MECHANICAL ARM AND LEG EXTRUDING FROM THE
> DIRT.
>
> IVAN
> Feast your eyes upon the
> exoskeleton of the barbaric
> HORNITOR!

MIKE: <as Beavis> Huh-huh... He said "horni"...

> (to parents)
> KEEP DIGGING. THE DREADFUL
> SCORPITRON SHOULD BE CLOSE BY.
> (beat)
> ONCE I HAVE MY ECTO-MORPHICON
> MACHINES UP AND RUNNING, I SHALL
> ANNIHILATE ANGEL GROVE... AND
> THEN... THE WORLD

MIKE: <as Goldar> Well, that's great, but could you stop
shouting? We're standing right next to you...

>
> ANGLE ON FRED as he darts through the construction site,
> taking care not to be seen. He hunkers down behind a stack of
> two-by-fours, searches the area. He spots his dad, speaks
> under his breath.

MIKE: <as Fred> Dogs barking, can't fly without umbrella...

>
> FRED
> Dad...?!
>
> He glances around to make sure the coast is clear, then
> sprints off to where his dad is digging, grabs his hand.
>
> FRED
> We have to get out of here!
>
> MR. KELMAN
> Dig... dig... dig...
>
> FRED
> Dad?!... It's me, Fred!

CROW: Forget it, kid... Your dad's got the brain of a cabbage
right now.

>
> Mr. Kelman just gives Fred a blank stare.

MIKE: ...as usual.

>
> MR. KELMAN
> Dig... dig... dig...
>
> Suddenly an ARM FALLS ON FRED'S SHOULDER.

MIKE: The one attached to the rogue hand from earlier, I guess.

>
> MORDANT (O.S.)
> Gotchya!
>
> Fred whips araund, finds Mordant standing behind him. He
> SPRINGS TO ACTION pulling off a lightning quick IRON HAMMER
> FIST STRIKE, a PALM HEEL BLOCK, A FRONT KICK WITH JUMPING
> KICK.

ALL: You name it...

>
> Mordant is getting pummeled. The last kick sends him FLYING
> BACK INTO THE DIRT. Fred takes off as Goldar stands over
> Mordant.

TOM: AH! I don't even wanna THINK about the implications of
THAT one!

>
> MORDANT
> Just shut your gap!
>
> GOLDAR
> Did I say anything?

CROW: <as Mordant> No, but it's fun to tell you to shut up,
anyway.

>
> 60 OMITTED 60
>
> 61 INT. COMMAND CENTER - DAY 61
>
> Zordon is looking more decrepit than ever. Alpha inserts

ALL: AH!
Mike: Do NOT use "Alpha" and "inserts" in the same sentence!

> tube into a make-shift electronic contraption.
>
> ALPHA 5
> By bouncing ultra-high
> frequencies off one of the
> network satellites, I can send a
> long-range pulsar signal to
> within TWO FEET of the Rangers coordinates.
>
> ZORDON
> (with difficulty)
> ... I just pray we're not too
> late.

MIKE: You are.

>
> Alpha continues making adjustments.
>
> ALPHA 5
> Let's give it a whirl.
>
> He flicks a switch and the screen LIGHTS UP WITH STATIC. The
> the same reporter we saw at the opening of the movie appears.

TOM: Oh, continuity! What a concept!

>
> REPORTER
> Angel Grove Police have been
> fielding hundreds of calls from
> concerned citizens as the number
> of missing gersons continues to
> grow

TOM: Yes, but what about all the people that are missing?

>
> There's more STATIC, then IVAN APPEARS AS THE WIZARD.

MIKE: The WIZARD?
TOM: Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!

>
> IVAN
> Hi, folks, Ivan Ooze here.
>
> ALPHA 5
> Ai, yi, yi, yi, yi
>
> As Ivan speaks we see Mordant behind him waving into camera.
>
> IVAN
> Are you bored with your work?

MIKE: Yes.

> Are you bored with your family

TOM: Sure!

> Are you bored with your 1ife

CROW: Harassed by creditors?

> Well, come on down to Ooze City
> and LET'S GET STICKY!

ALL: EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!

>
> 62 OMITTED 62
>
> 63 EXT. ROCKY TERRAIN - DAY 63
>
> The group reaches the crest of a ridge -- off in the
> background we can see the outline of the Nathadian Monolith.

Mike: Ooooohhhh....
TOM: Ahhhhhhhhhhh...
CROW: ZZZZZZzzzzzzzz...

>
> DULCEA
> The Monolith is there in the
> distance.
>
> The kids strain to get a better look.
>
> DULCEA
> This is as far as I can take you.

TOM: Wait, didn't she say "we" would go through the jungle; thus
suggesting that she was coming along?

>
> The kids are thrown by this.

MIKE: And have to pick themselves up off the ground.

>
> KIMBERLY
> You're leaving us?!

CROW: <as Kimberly> This SUCKS, and some junk!

>
> DULCEA
> I have taught you all that I
> know.

TOM: I'll bet Tommy and the boys appreciated that!!

> Now you must achieve the
> Ninjetti on your own.
>
> The kids share glances, not quite knowing what to say.

MIKE: Just like always.

>
> DULCEA
> It is said that once you've
> reached the power... you have
> only ten triacs to release it.

MIKE: Oh, well, then- huh?

>
> BILLY
> What's a Triac?
>
> DULCEA
> About twenty seconds in your
> time.

CROW: Well why didn't you just say that in the first place?!

>
> TOMMY
> And how do we release the power?
>
> DULCEA
> The legend goes that you release
> the power with the power.

TOM: Oh, well of cou- huh?

>
> ADAM
> What does that mean!
>
> DULCEA
> That is a question that even I
> cannot answer.
> (beat)
> Remember, ten triacs. After that
> something bad will happen.
>
> KIMBERLY
> Like...how bad?
>
> Dulcea gives them a grim look.
>
> DULCEA
> They say the power will throw off
> a super-heated, radioactive
> fireball, instantly reducing you
> to ash and bits of charred bone.

MIKE: Bitchin'!
TOM: Cool!

>
> Aisha nods.
>
> AISHA
> That's pretty bad.

CROW: Wah-wah-waaaaahhh...

>
> TOMMY
> Thank you, Dulcea. For
> everything.

MIKE: <as Tommy> IfyaknowwhatImean!

>
> Dulcea catches her hand

TOM: <as Dulcea> Oh, sorry... I thought it was Dale.

> and six Rangers put their hands on top
> of hers.

MIKE: Break!

>
>
> DULCEA
> Ka'Alabas tor nartu En'Kata-Tay.

TOM: Klaatu Beratu Nikto.
MIKE: Me chabba wanga!
CROW: Gesundheit!

> (beat)
> May your animals watch over you.

MIKE: Ok, time out! Dulcea said the "jetti" means animal...
Now, she said animal in that sentence; yet I don't see
anything in it that looks even close to "jetti".
TOM: Thank you, linguistics police....
CROW: Maybe she wasn't saying the same thing in English?
MIKE: Maybe...

>
> 64 OMITTED 64
>
> 65 EXT. CHEMICAL PLANT - DAY 65
>
> The sky above the chemical plant is BOILING WITH DARK CLOUDS.

ALL: <cough>

>
> 56 INT. CHEMICAL PLANT - DAY 66

MIKE: Wh, we just went back 10 scenes!
TOM: Not according to the number at the end of the line...
MIKE: Weird.
CROW: After all the mistakes in this script, a number typo
surprises you?

>
> The parents have finished assembling the STEEL TOWER -- thick
> cables run from the base to the skeletal heads of Hornitor and
> Scorpitron.

TOM: What is this, Power Rangers, or Transfomers?

>
> We see a group of parents fastening clear plastic pipes to the
> skeletal feet -- the pipes are attached to the vat of ooze.
>
> Mordant videotapes Ivan as he struts past a giant mechanical
> foot.

CROW: Mordant likes to watch.

>
> IVAN
> Finally, after centuries of
> waiting, my Ecto-Morphicon
> machines are ready to take on the
> world!

ALL: <evil laugh>

>
> Mordant gets the camera a little too close to Ivan.
>
> IVAN
> GET THAT THING OUT OF MY FACE!
>
> Ivan SWATS Mordant and the camera FLIES up through the air and
> SMASHES against a wall.
>
> MORDANT
> Oh, man, that was a rental!
>
> ANGLE ON - FRED watching from behind a generator,

CROW: You'd think Ivan would have better security for his top
secret project.

> an alarmed
> look on his face. Ivan steps up onto a platform.
>
> IVAN
> Mordant... let the ooze flow!

MIKE: I think these writers have some sort of snot/ooze
obsession...
TOM: I don't EVEN wanna know...

>
> Mordant pulls a lever and the OOZE SLITHERS THROUGH THE
> PIPES AND STARTS FILLING OUT THE GIANT EXOSKELETONS.

CROW: Oh, yes... Oh, YES!
MIKE: CROW!

>
> IVAN
> Goldar... the roof!
>
> Goldar presses a button and the roof of the plant ROLLS OPEN,
> REVEALING THE TUMULTUOUS SKIES ABOVE.
>
> IVAN
> Looks like a fine day for raising
> HELL!

TOM: IVAN! Watch the language!

>
> Ivan holds his arms up to the heavens.
>
> IVAN
> HECALE MENNIPUS LIBRI MAGUS!

MIKE: Oh God, not again....
TOM: Ya nie loobloo kino!
MIKE: What the..?

>
> THE SKY CRACKLES WITH THUNDER AND A JAGGED BOLT OF
> LIGHTNING STREAKS DOWN, ZAPS THE METAL TOWER SENDING UP
> AN ENORMOUS ERUPTION OF SPARKS!
>
> IVAN
> Bullseye!

TOM: But is it bold?

>
> ELECTROMAGNETIC CHARGES TRAVEL THE LENGTH OF THE CABLES
> AND HIT HORNITOR AND SCORPITRON WITH SEARING BLASTS OF
> ENERGY.

MIKE: Turning them into useless pieces of charred metal.
TOM: <as Ivan> DAMN! Read the instructions wrong!

>
> IVAN
> LIFE!! Give my creatures LIFE!

CROW: Oh, you only WISH you were Frankenstein, Ivan.

>
> Mordant admires Ivan.
>
> MORDANT
> This guy is the King!

MIKE: <singing> Here comes the King, here comes the King, here
comes the big number one!

>
> Now the most amazing thing of all happens...

CROW: The movie gets good?
TOM: Give it up, Crow- it's not gonna happen...

>
> The SCINTILLATING BEHEMOTHS AWAKE FROM THE DEAD, THEIR EYES
> AND MOUTHS OPENING, THEIR ARMS REACHING UPWARD. The beasts

MIKE: Whooops! Cap Lock key must've slipped!

> ROAR OUT IN THUNDEROUS RAGE.

CROW: <as beasts> We're NOT gonna pay a lot for this MUFFLER!!!

>
> Mordant's HAIR LITERALLY STANDS ON END -- he quickly retreats
> behind a drum.
>
> FRED looks on in horror.

MIKE: <as Fred> I wet 'em!

>
> IVAN
> PARENTS OF ANGEL GROVE.

TOM: <as Ivan> ...we've gathered together today to witness the
joining of this- oh, wait... Damn, wrong speech...

>
> All of them turn their attention to Ivan.
>
> IVAN
> YOU HAVE SERVED YOUR PURPOSE.
> NOW YOU WILL RETURN TO THE
> CONSTRUCTION SITE AND LEAP TO
> YOUR DEMISE!

ALL: <as parents> Ok, but could you please stop shouting?!

>
> The parents just stand there with blank expressions.
>
> IVAN
> What're you waiting for??...
>
> Goldar taps him on the shoulder and he spins around.
>
> IVAN
> What!
>
> GOLDAR
> You forgot to say 'Simon says."

MIKE: Once again, I must point out that he's given the PLENTY of
instructions that they HAVE followed withOUT saying "Simon
says".
TOM: Why let logic ruin a good joke?
MIKE: Well, if I see a good joke in this movie, fine.

>
> Ivan shakes his head dismally.

MIKE: <as Ivan> I'm surrounded by idiots!

>
> 67 EXT. ROPE BRIDGE - DAY 67
>
> The Rangers crest a hill and Adam, who's in the lead, suddenly
> drops

TOM: His pants
MIKE: <as Adam> I REALLY gotta go!

> down - the others following suit.

MIKE: But Billy play's his Trump card, winning this hand.

>
> They peer over the ridge -- their eyes wide.

CROW: So they're Japanimation all of the sudden?

>
> Before them, a tenuous rope bridge

MIKE: Uh-oh... Rope bridge...
TOM: Oh, God.

> leads to a vast rock
> landing. The ocean RAGES BELOW.

CROW: A rope bridge over an OCEAN? That's one HELL of a rope
bridge!

>
> On top of the island is the Nathadian Monolith. It's a mind-
> boggling wonder from another time and place.

Mike: Wisconin!
TOM: Yeah, RGHT...

>
> Between the Rangers and the bridge, the Tengu Warriors are on
> patrol.

CROW: D'oh!

>
> KIMBERLY
> Man, these are the last guys I
> wanted to see.
>
> AISHA
> Whadda we do now?
>
> Kimberly surveys the area.
>
> BILLY
> That's the only way to the
> Monolith...

TOM: Of course.

>
> ROCKY
> We can take these guys!
>
> Tommy pulls all of them into a huddle.

CROW: 36... 24... 36... HIKE!

<Commercials>

"Did anything about that seem strange to you?"
-Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones), _Men_in_Black_
Catherine Johnson ---------- MiSTie #75,125 ---------- TCur...@aol.com