REPOST: MiSTing "The Odyssey" (pt.2)
Tjats
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>The Lotus-Eaters
Mike: Okay, We're in Japan now.
>Now Zeus the lord of cloud roused in the north
>a storm against the ships, and driving veils
>of squall moved down like night on land and sea.
>The bows went plunging at the gust; sails
>cracked and lashed out strips in the big wind.
>We saw death in that fury,
Servo: He saw doom with the Cicones, now he sees death in a storm. Okay, I
think this Odysseus character is a little paranoid.
Mike: Don't be too rough on the guy. He just finished the Trojan War. He
deserves to be a little on-edge.
>dropped the yards,
>unshipped the oars, and pulled for the nearest lee:
Crow: Now he's using figurative language to tell us what happened with him and
his wife the night before he left for Troy!
Mike: Crow!
>then two long days and nights we lay offshore
>worn out and sick at heart, tasting our grief,
Frank: Eeew. Grief tastes yucky.
>untill a third Dawn came with ringlets shining.
Dr. F: Why did he capitalize dawn?
Mike: That's probably the name of Odysseus' girlfriend, and he decided to put
it in.
Crow: Actually, I think it's just Robert's bad translation job.
>Then we put up our masts, hauled sail, and rested,
>letting the steersmen and the breeze take over.
>
>I might have made it safely home, that time,
Crow: What about the rest of your crew?
>but as I came around Malea the current
>took me out to sea,
Mike: This guy has a little self-centered ego problem.
Crow: What do you expect? It's Odysseus.
>and from the north
>a fresh gale drove me on, past Cythera.
>Nine days I drifted on the teeming sea
>before dangerous high winds. Upon the tenth
Frank: we rested.
>we came to the coastline of the Lotus-Eaters,
>who live upon that flower. We landed there
>to take on water
Dr. F: That's stupid.
>All ships' companies
>mustered alongside for the midday meal.
Crow: aka lunch.
>Then I sent out two picked men and a runner
>to learn what race of men that land sustained.
>They fell in, soon enough, with Lotus-Eaters,
>who showed no will to do us harm, only
>offering the sweet Lotus to our friends-
>but those who ate this honeyed plant, the Lotus,
Crow: I thought it was an animal.
>never cared to report, nor to return:
>they longed to stay forever, browsing on
Servo: the internet.
>that native bloom, forgetful of theid homeland.
>I drove them,
Crow: to Grandma's.
>all three wailing, to the ships,
>tied them down under their rowing benches,
>and called the rest
Mike: on my cellular phone.
>'All hands aboard;
>come. clear the beach and no one taste
>the Lotus, or you lose your hope of home.'
Dr. F: That didn't make sense.
>Filling in to their places by the rowlocks
>my oarsmen dipped their long oars in the surf,
>and we moved out again on our seafaring.
Mike, Servo, Crow, Frank, and Dr. F leave the theater.
1...2...3...4...5...6...
Mike, Crow, Servo, and the mads are on the bridge. Servo is in front of the
counter, closer to Cambot, eating a Lotus flower. Mike and Crow are saying
goodbye to the Mads.
Crow: Take care, you guys.
Mike: And we forgive you for sending us all those bad movies.
Crow[angrily to Mike]: No we don't. What do you mean?
Mike: Well, sorry.
Dr. F: Goodbye, Mike, 'Bots.
Mike[to Tom]: Servom, you want to say goodbye to the Mads?
The Mads get in the time machine and leave.
Servo keeps eating.
Crow: I think Servo's been infected by the lotus flower, Mike.
Mike: Uh-oh. Servo, you have to finish reading the Odyssey with us.
Servo[entranced]: But, Mike, I want to stay and eat the Lotus flower for ever
and ever and ever.
Mike: Well, you can't.
Crow: Come on, Servo.
Servo: No.
Commercial sign
Mike: We'll be right back.
Mike suddenly dives at Servo, grabbing him. Mike, since he has to dive over
the counter, knocks the button controlls off. Servo screams.
Mike: Let that plant go, man!
Servo[panicky/whiny]: But I want to finish eating the Lotus flower! Waaahh!
(commercial)
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Questions? Concerns? Comments? Complaints?
e-mail Tj...@aol.com
Jim, the Mistie, Trekker, X-Phile, comic freak(take your pick)
"Watch out for snakes!"
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