MiSTed: Beat The IRS & PAY-NO-MORE
Roland Warner
I have the time, but this is it for now.
Roland
-----
<Theme song>
Mike: Hi everyone, welcome the Satellite of Love. I'm Mike Nelson, and
these are my-wait, where are Tom and Crow?
<Gypsy enters with a rubber arrow stuck to her head>
Gypsy: Mike! Mike! Crow shot an arrow at me and it hit me right in
the side! He hit a vital wire! I think I'm gonna die!
Mike: It's not even real, Gypsy, see?
<Mike pulls the rubber arrow off her head.>
Mike: Now, tell me, why did Crow shoot an arrow at you?
Gypsy: He and Tom are playing "Cowboy and Indian". Crow missed Tom and
hit me instead!
Mike: Where did you last see them?
Gypsy: They were headed this way.
<Crow sneaks up behind Mike.>
Tom: Whoa there, varmint!
Gypsy: Mike! He's right behind you!
Mike: Aaah!
<Mike jumps out of the way and Crow's arrow flies for Cambot. As the
arrow strikes, the screen goes black, but sound can still be heard.>
Mike: Oh my God! You killed Cambot!
Tom: You bastard!
<Deep 13>
Dr. F: What's going on up there? What're you guys doing?
<SOL>
<Fighting can plainly be heard in the background.>
Mike: No, Servo! Put down that gun!
Tom: He's a no-good indian Mike! Look, he tried to kill Gypsy and
Cambot!
Mike: Wait a second, you can't even move your arms, give me that.
<Tom's cap gun goes off.>
Tom: Stand back!
Mike: It's not even real, either.
<A struggle can be heard. Mike takes the rubber gun off Cambot and
everything's back to normal.>
Mike: Well, now that that's done, how're things for you, Dr. Forrster?
<D13>
Dr. F: Mike, ever since Frank died, things haven't been the same up
here, so for the invention exchange today, I created a computer program
called the "Artificial Frank", see?
<Dr. F steps off screen and pushes a cart with a computer on it that has
Frank pasted to the monitor.>
Dr. F: Now, Frank, how've things been for you, lately?
Frank: That was neat, Steve, can you do that again?
Dr. F: I don't think that was the response we were looking for, Frank.
Frank: Do you think I look fat? I hope I'm not.
Dr. F: Frank!
Frank: Please don't connect those wires to me, it hurts!
Dr. F: That's it!
<Dr. F picks up a mallet and smashes the computer.>
Dr. F: So, Mike, what's your invention?
<SOL>
Mike: <in a faux happy-go-lucky tone> Have you ever had one of those
mornings where you just don't feel like switching hands to put deodorant
on the other side of your body? I know I sure have, and now, I've fixed
that problem. Crow, if you please.
<Crow enters carrying a Y-shaped stick with two sticks of roll-on
deodorant at each end.>
Crow: This is what we call the Double-Deo. It rolls on deodorant on
both armpits at the same time. No more need for tired arms. But since
Mike doesn't want to take off his shirt, and frankly, I don't want to
see it, we won't demonstrate this invention.
Mike: What do you think, Dr. F?
<D13>
Frank: I think you deserve today's post. It's called "Beat The IRS &
PAY-NO-MORE". And remember, God's don't have B-O!
<SOL>
Tom: God's don't-
<Movie sign flashes>
All: Aaaah! We've got spam sign!
<^...*6*...%5%...$4$...#3#...(2)...!1!...@>
<M&TB enter the theater>
Tom: You do use deodorant, don't you, Mike?
Mike: Of course I do.
> Subj: Beat The IRS & PAY-NO-MORE
Mike: Except for jail time, maybe.
> Date: 98-05-29 04:23:51 EDT
> From: Look...@msn.com
Tom: Yeah, don't worry about the missile coming right for you.
> To: Good...@yahoo.com
Crow: Let's piss off the GoodFolk with spam!
>
>
> - PLEASE READ -
Tom: Because no one else will.
> ***************
> The Founding Fathers of The United States of America wrote our Con-
> stitution, Bill of Rights and Declaration of Independence to set us FREE
> from TYRANNY and TAXATION.
All: <Start humming "O Canada">
>
> Our Founding Fathers did not want our government to make you pay
> INCOME TAXES.
Crow: Yeah, let's fund the US by using tree leaves as currency!
> If you study the Constitution, and the IRS tax laws, you
> will find that paying income taxes is not mandatory. It is based on a
> voluntary system.
Tom: Living in the US is voluntary also.
> The LAWS and the SUPREME COURT and the IRS have ruled
> that Federal income taxes are VOLUNTARY and FILING A RETURN IS NOT
> REQUIRED in many cases if you properly VOLUNTEER OUT OF THE SYSTEM AND
> THEIR JURISDICTION..
Mike: Let's move to China!
>
> "Our tax system is based on individual self assessment and
> VOLUNTARY COMPLIANCE." - M. Caplin, IRS Commissioner
Tom: And if you don't comply, we'll arrest you for treason.
>
> "OUR TAX SYSTEM IS BASED UPON VOLUNTARY ASSESSMENT AND PAYMENT AND NOT
> ON DISTRAINT" -Supreme Court Ruling, Flora v. U.S., 362 U.S. 145
Mike: Flora: 326, US: 145! You see, it can be done!
>
> It is very EASY and LEGAL to volunteer out of the IRS tax system, but
> you must know the EXACT PROCESS REQUIRED to do this simple task.
Crow: You must first have had an affair with the president.
> If
> you don’t know the correct way to do this, you could be FINED $500 by
> the IRS.
Tom: What if they've already taken all of your money?
>
> If you will spend JUST $35.00 we will send you our report:
> "BEAT THE IRS & PAY-NO-MORE".
> Our report will SET YOU FREE LEGALLY!
Crow: Just don't sue us, and you'll have no legal worries!
>
> After reading our report and filling out a simple form you will be
> FREE from the IRS BANDITS and the graduated Federal INCOME TAX ...
> FOREVER.
Mike: Al Capone could've really used this.
> Our report is guaranteed to STOP FEDERAL INCOME TAX
> WITHHOLDING from your pay check!!!
Tom: <As Author> I wonder how many times I can say the same thing, and
get away with it.
> You will never have to pay Federal
> income taxes again. You will never have to file a 1040 Form again. You
> will never have to keep personal expense or income records. You will
> be completely FREE from the Federal income tax and the IRS. We send
> you absolute PROOF you do not have to file a return.
All: <Start humming "Go on, Take the Money and Run">
>
> After reading our report and following simple instructions your pay
> check will be free from those nasty income tax deductions. This will
> put an extra $20 to $200 in your pocket every week!.
Crow: Ah, more for them to Tax after the FBI catches you.
>
> "ISN’T IT ABOUT TIME YOU GET PAID WHAT YOUR WORTH?"
Mike: At Burger King now!
>
> Now is the time to fight back. Please read on!!!
Tom: I'll just wait for the movie to come out.
Mike: Shhh, Tom, or else the Mads might find find that one for us to
watch.
> **********************************************
>
> "BEAT-THE-IRS & PAY-NO-MORE"
>
> Our PACKAGE, (Beat The IRS & PAY-NO-MORE) will teach you EXACTLY how
> to EASILY: STOP FEDERAL Income Tax Withholding, STOP April filing of
> 1040 Form, & STOP THE IRS EXTORTION PERMANENTLY! This works for all
> Citizens that are not government employes, don't deal in Alcohol,
> Tobacco, or fire arms, or own a corporation or own a business where
> you are under a duty to withold from your employes paycheck.
Crow: Do we still have to pay for the stamp?
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> The IRS Federal Income Tax System is based on VOLUNTARY COMPLIENCE...
> We will teach you how to legally VOLUNTEER OUT OF THE SYSTEM!
Tom: And then wait for the Government to crash?
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Your Success is ABSOLUTELY Unconditionally GUARANTEED! Our methods
> work every time for everybody if you were born in and live in one of
> the 50 Republic States and are not a government employee.
Mike: Oh, that last one's obvious.
> Also you can not live or work on Government Property such as a Mili-
> tary base, Washington, D.C., Guam, Semoa, Virgin Islands, etc.
Tom: Oh, trying to keep the government from knowing this, by spreading
it on the Internet?
> Our method is 100% legal, honest and ethical. We will pay anybody
> $1,000 if they can prove our method is ILLEGAL, DISHONEST or
> UNETHICAL!!!
Crow: But then all the refunds will drive us bankrupt, so you can
forget the money!
> Our method has worked for every person who has ever
> bought this package without exception.
Mike: Just ask the government.
>
> NOBODY HAS EVER FAILED and only 2 people ASKED FOR A REFUND!!!
Tom: Those are the people who've been caught.
>
> - Our PACKAGE includes a LIFETIME, FREE, 50% PAY OUT Dealership,
> PLUS ALL the marketing material master copies you will ever need.
Mike: Including a warrant for your arrest.
> YOUR PAYCHECKS WILL BE 10% TO 35% BIGGER EVERY WEEK, within 2 weeks
> of filing the proper forms and affidavit. WHY NOT GIVE YOURSELF A
> RAISE THIS YEAR BY EXERCISING AND ENJOYING MORE OF YOUR CONSTITU-
> TIONAL RIGHTS. SET YOURSELF FREE!
Crow: Oh yes, they call him the streak!
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
> Your package includes unlimited FREE phone consultations, a copy
> of the U.S. Constitution, The Bill of Rights, forms, affidavits,
> and much, much more!
Mike: And my home phone number, for all you cute ladies out there.
> --------------------- ORDER FORM - CUT ----------------------------
>
> TO ORDER BY MAIL: Send this order form plus your Name, Address,
> Phone # and a $35 Money Order to:
> LINKCO --Dept. # 00001 -- POB 66781 -- Phoenix, AZ 85082
> Phone: (602)267-9688
Tom: Ask for Bill Clinton.
>
> You may also call just to ask questions.
Crow: What if you don't have any income?
> Thanks for reading this message!
Mike: Like we had a choice!
> -(Unconditional Money Back Guarantee)-
Tom: We guarantee you won't get your money back unconditionally!
> - Copyright 1996 Linkco -
> *********************************************************
> To be REMOVED FROM OUR LIST send an e-mail to:
> DeltaZ...@hotmail.com with REMOVE in the subject area.
> *********************************************************
Tom: I think that's it, guys.
<M&TB leave theater>
<@...1...2...3...4...5...6>
<Mike and Tom are talking, a phone between them>
Tom: Come on, Mike, give it a try!
Mike: I'm not calling those people, Tom.
Tom: Imagine it, mike, 10%-35% more on your income.
<Crow enters, carrying a Barbie doll>
Crow: It worked for me, now Debbie will go out with me! C'mon, Debbie,
let's go disco!
<Crow exits>
Mike: What the hey, let's give it a shot.
<Mike reaches over to pick up the phone>
Phone: HeLLo, TorGO'S piZZA pArLoR.
Mike: Oh, um, is this where I can find out about Tax Evasion?
Phone: Oh, whew, I thought you were the Feds again.
Mike: So, will this really work?
Phone: We guarantee it!
Mike: Great, sign me up.
Phone: Ok, tell us your name and address.
Mike: Michael J. Nelson on The Satellite of Love.
Phone: Where's that?
Mike: In space.
Phone: Ok, we'll have your package right out.
Mike: Great!
<Mike hangs up the phone>
Tom: So, how'd it go?
Mike: Great, they're sending it right over.
<Red and blue lights flash out of the viewscreen>
Voice: Ok, Michael J. Nelson, come out with your hands up. You're
under arrest for attempted Tax Evasion.
Mike: Uh-oh. Hey, wait a second, I don't even have a source of income!
Tom: Come on, Mike. I'll shoot you out the airlock.
Mike: Hold on, Larry's calling.
<Deep 13>
<Dr. Forrester quickly hides his megaphone.>
Dr. F: Are you enjoying my little game of Cops and Robbers, Nelson?
After all, it's a lot more fun than "Cowboy's and Indians". In light of
your recent attempt of Tax Evasion, I've decided to cut your phone cord
to earth, in order to prevent you from ever being as evil and sneaky as
I am. You see, I too have signed up for this freedom from taxation. My
package should be arriving anytime soon.
<Doorbell rings>
Dr. F: Ah, I see it has arrived.
<Dr. Forrester skips gleefully to the door and opens it. Two policemen
are waiting.>
Policeman #1: Doctor Forrester?
Dr. F: Yes?
Policeman #2: You're under arrest for Tax evasion!
Dr. F: Huh? Oh! It wasn't me! It was, um, Frank!
PM #1: I don't see any Frank around here.
Dr. F: That's because I killed him . . . uh-oh.
PM #2: Ah, and a voluntary manslaughter charge too.
PM #1: Look at this monitor here, there's a man in it with two robots.
<SOL>
Mike: Hey look, we're saved!
Tom & Crow: Yay!!
<Deep 13>
Dr. F: No, leave my experiment alone!
PM #1: Oh, and add illegal human testing to the list. <PM #1 cuffs Dr.
Forrester> Anymore you'd like to add, Dr. Forrester?
Dr. F: Just one, push the button, officer.
<PM #2 pushes the button>
\|/
-O-
/|\
(whoosh)
-----
Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and
situations are trademarks of and (c) 1994 by Best Brains, Inc. All
rights reserved. Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for
entertainment purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights
or trademarks
held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.
-----
> NOBODY HAS EVER FAILED and only 2 people ASKED FOR A REFUND!!!
Lori Holuta
feel complete as a woman...
thank you!
Lori
--
"Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's
very dark" - Groucho Marx
Roland Warner
>
> Priceless. Simply priceless. I've never seen a spam MSTied, and now I
> feel complete as a woman...
>
> thank you!
>
> Lori
Does this mean you liked it? I'm a very confused man right now . . .
Roland, Gee, I bet you can't wait for my MiSTing of "The Satan Hunter",
Warner
WoemCats
>>
>> Priceless. Simply priceless. I've never seen a spam MSTied, and now I
>> feel complete as a woman...
>>
>> thank you!
>>
>> Lori
>
>Does this mean you liked it? I'm a very confused man right now . . .
Hey, she said you "completed" her. It worked for Jerry Maguire! Try it out,
she'll love ya'!
>Roland, Gee, I bet you can't wait for my MiSTing of "The Satan Hunter",
>Warner
Joel
<woem...@aol.com>
"We all get a little mad sometimes. Haven't you?"
"The Taco Dog could kick Benji's ass! There, I said it and I'm glad!"
"People say I'm in my own little world. That's ok, they know me there."
Roger M. Wilcox
<tom_...@geocities.com> wrote:
>
>> The Founding Fathers of The United States of America wrote our Con-
>> stitution, Bill of Rights and Declaration of Independence to set us FREE
>> from TYRANNY and TAXATION.
>
>All: <Start humming "O Canada">
>
>> Our Founding Fathers did not want our government to make you pay
>> INCOME TAXES.
>
>Crow: Yeah, let's fund the US by using tree leaves as currency!
>
>> If you study the Constitution, and the IRS tax laws, you
>> will find that paying income taxes is not mandatory. It is based on a
>> voluntary system.
>
> Tom: Living in the US is voluntary also.
[ snip ]
Oh, GOD, I have waited *SO* long for one of these Sovereign Citizen
Tax-Protestor advertisements to get the treatment it deserves!
Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!
I've run into a LOT of more serious Tax Protestor documents out there,
and some of them sound almost convincing enough to be true (assuming
you don't know anything about how the law really works). I was almost
suckered in by their rhetoric of "No taxes! Freedom by the bucketful!
Glory Glory Hallelujah!" myself.
So much so that I actually took the time to pick one of the more
well-known Sovereign Citizen documents apart and rip it a new rectum.
The results are at http://www.netcom.com/~rogermw/debuck.html .
Roger M. Wilcox, who would like to do the same thing to the many
selling-points of National Trust Services.
--
Bill Livingston
>Roland Warner wrote:
>>Lori Holuta wrote:
>>> Priceless. Simply priceless. I've never seen a spam MSTied, and now I
>>> feel complete as a woman...
>>> thank you!
>>> Lori
>>
>>Does this mean you liked it? I'm a very confused man right now . . .
>
>Hey, she said you "completed" her. It worked for Jerry Maguire! Try it out,
>she'll love ya'!
"Roland Maguire", starring Tom Cruise as Roland Maguire, Renee Zellwegler as
Lori Holuta, and Havana Cuba Jr as Joel Woemcats, whose snappy catchphrase,
"Show me the MiSTing!!" has become beloved of millions.
Bill L.
Off to cut a sneaker deal
#######################################################################
bi...@Traveller.COM http:\\www.Traveller.COM\~bill
He that is of a merry heart hath
a continual feast - Prov. 15:15b
Roland Warner
>
> Previously on "Mork & Mindy", WoemCats wrote:
> >Roland Warner wrote:
> >>Lori Holuta wrote:
> >>> Priceless. Simply priceless. I've never seen a spam MSTied, and now I
> >>> feel complete as a woman...
> >>> thank you!
> >>> Lori
> >>
> >>Does this mean you liked it? I'm a very confused man right now . . .
> >
> >Hey, she said you "completed" her. It worked for Jerry Maguire! Try it out,
> >she'll love ya'!
>
> "Roland Maguire", starring Tom Cruise as Roland Maguire, Renee Zellwegler as
> Lori Holuta, and Havana Cuba Jr as Joel Woemcats, whose snappy catchphrase,
> "Show me the MiSTing!!" has become beloved of millions.
>
> Bill L.
> Off to cut a sneaker deal
Whoa! Tom Cruise plays me???? Actually, if I could find the script,
I'd probably end up MiSTing that as well. So what part do you get,
Bill?
Roland, hmmm, Renee as Lori? Woohoo!, Warner
Lori Holuta
>
didn't see Jerry Maguire... Is she better looking than, say, Shelly
Winters?
Lori - who looked like Karen Valentine in highschool, but now resembles no
one on this planet. Other planets are still taking opinion polls, however.
--
"Outside of a dog, books are a man's best friend;
inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." - Groucho Marx
Bill Livingston
>Bill Livingston wrote:
>>Previously on "Mork & Mindy", WoemCats wrote:
>>>Roland Warner wrote:
>>>>Lori Holuta wrote:
>>>>>Priceless. Simply priceless. I've never seen a spam MSTied, and now I
>>>>>feel complete as a woman...
>>>>>thank you!
>>>>
>>>
>>>Hey, she said you "completed" her. It worked for Jerry Maguire! Try it
>>>out, she'll love ya'!
>>
>>"Roland Maguire", starring Tom Cruise as Roland Maguire, Renee Zellwegler as
>>Lori Holuta, and Havana Cuba Jr as Joel Woemcats, whose snappy catchphrase,
>>"Show me the MiSTing!!" has become beloved of millions.
>
>I'd probably end up MiSTing that as well. So what part do you get,
>Bill?
I'm out in the Secret Garden, writing the Soundtrack.
Bill L.
You had me at "Hello".
Bill Livingston
>>Roland, hmmm, Renee as Lori? Woohoo!, Warner
>
>Yikes! Clue in the clueless, pleeze. Who is Renee Zellwegler??? Yeah, I
>didn't see Jerry Maguire...
If you don't see it, it can't hurt you. 8-]
Renee Zellweigeler (sp?) was Jerry's secretary/sweetie/wife in Jerry Maguire,
and mother to the previously-unheard-of-levels-of-cute Jonathan Lipnicki.
>Is she better looking than, say, Shelly Winters?
Oh, indubiduidbitably.* She's not chesticularly gifted, but she's a cutie
* Of course, when she was younger, Shelly Winters was *hot*!
>Lori - who looked like Karen Valentine in highschool, but now resembles no
>one on this planet. Other planets are still taking opinion polls, however.
Results are now coming in from Zeta Reticulii VII, where RATMM news is now
readyto project that the residents believe Lori looks like Nancy McKeon. More
on this story as it develops.
Bill L.
Let's take a look at the results in the race for Grand Nagus...
Joe Blevins
>
> Prevoiously on "Room 222", Lori Holuta wrote:
> >>Roland, hmmm, Renee as Lori? Woohoo!, Warner
> >
> >Yikes! Clue in the clueless, pleeze. Who is Renee Zellwegler??? Yeah, I
> >didn't see Jerry Maguire...
>
> If you don't see it, it can't hurt you. 8-]
>
> Renee Zellweigeler (sp?) was Jerry's secretary/sweetie/wife in Jerry Maguire,
> and mother to the previously-unheard-of-levels-of-cute Jonathan Lipnicki.
>
> >Is she better looking than, say, Shelly Winters?
>
> Oh, indubiduidbitably.* She's not chesticularly gifted, but she's a cutie
>
> * Of course, when she was younger, Shelly Winters was *hot*!
It's hard to believe that now, but it's true. Watch for one of Shelly's
old movies on AMC, and you'll see she was once a babe. She doesn't
look much like the latter-day Shelly Winters, so she may be difficult to
recognize.
--Joe--
Lori Holuta
saving up my money to have plastic surgery done.... since Beez seems to
drive all the guys in RATMM into hormonal heaven, she's now my new ideal.
I wanna grow up to be Beez. I've even started collecting props.
Lori
--
"Outside of a dog, books are a man's best friend;
inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." - Groucho Marx
Bill Livingston <bi...@Traveller.COM> wrote in article
<6oj7me$erc$1...@hammer.msfc.nasa.gov>...
> Prevoiously on "Room 222", Lori Holuta wrote:
> >>Roland, hmmm, Renee as Lori? Woohoo!, Warner
> >
> >Yikes! Clue in the clueless, pleeze. Who is Renee Zellwegler??? Yeah,
I
> >didn't see Jerry Maguire...
>
> If you don't see it, it can't hurt you. 8-]
>
> Renee Zellweigeler (sp?) was Jerry's secretary/sweetie/wife in Jerry
Maguire,
> and mother to the previously-unheard-of-levels-of-cute Jonathan Lipnicki.
>
> >Is she better looking than, say, Shelly Winters?
>
> Oh, indubiduidbitably.* She's not chesticularly gifted, but she's a
cutie
>
> * Of course, when she was younger, Shelly Winters was *hot*!
>
Bill Livingston
>Aaagh, No, Not Nancy McKeon?
Um, Lisa Welchel? Kim Fields?
>Who do I bribe to look different?
Oh, that would be me.
>I've been saving up my money to have plastic surgery done....
>since Beez seems to drive all the guys in RATMM into hormonal heaven, she's
>now my new ideal.
Fortunately, most of us pony up for gas.
>I wanna grow up to be Beez. I've even started collecting props.
I declare Lori to RATMM's Official Unofficial Prop Diva!©
Bill L.
And now, a segment called "Props"...
Lori Holuta
Bill Livingston <bi...@Traveller.COM> wrote
> I declare Lori to RATMM's Official Unofficial Prop Diva!©
>
Ohhhhhhh, I accept. How thrilling! Anyone have any props they need me to
take care of? (body parts don't count..). So far, I have a lava lamp,
antique can of Spam ™, a drinky bird, and my vast collection of floaty pens
(the ones with water and little figures floating in them). Let's put on a
show!
I've been hoping to become an Official Unofficial something here in
RATMM.... again, I feel complete as a woman (Que the Jerry Maguire dancers
now.)
Lori
RATMM Official Unofficial Prop Diva
Rottw...@my-dejanews.com
"Lori Holuta" <hol...@pilot.msu.edu> wrote:
>
>
> Bill Livingston <bi...@Traveller.COM> wrote
>
> > I declare Lori to RATMM's Official Unofficial Prop Diva!©
> >
> Ohhhhhhh, I accept. How thrilling! Anyone have any props they need me to
> take care of? (body parts don't count..). So far, I have a lava lamp,
> antique can of Spam ™, a drinky bird, and my vast collection of floaty pens
> (the ones with water and little figures floating in them). Let's put on a
> show!
I've been keeping a lot of stuff in the hall closet that you can take care of
now, seeing as you're the Prop Diva.
*walks into the closet and starts tossing stuff out*
Here's a cowboy hat, a stuffed wolf, a crucifix, a vase full of fake roses, a
typewriter, a mummy costume from last Halloween, my MST3K tapes, an Atari
2600, three photo albums, an electric toothbrush, Hungry Hungry Hippos,
Elvis, a suit of armor, a cat calander from 1986, my good china, a pair of
platform shoes, a cat o' nine tails, some candles, a woman's gown from 1541,
a six-pack of beer, a briefcase, a grand piano, Jimmy Hoffa, a grandfather
clock, a snack dispenser, some pencils, a refrigirator full of food, a
blanket my grandmother made for me when I was seven years old, two chairs,
two end tables, two lamps, a love seat, a sofa and a coffee table.
Tomorrow I'll empty out my bedroom closet.
> I've been hoping to become an Official Unofficial something here in
> RATMM.... again, I feel complete as a woman (Que the Jerry Maguire dancers
> now.)
>
> Lori
> RATMM Official Unofficial Prop Diva
--
Michael "Rottweiler" Wallen
-----== Posted via Deja News, The Leader in Internet Discussion ==-----
http://www.dejanews.com/rg_mkgrp.xp Create Your Own Free Member Forum
Roland Warner
>
> Bill Livingston <bi...@Traveller.COM> wrote
>
> > I declare Lori to RATMM's Official Unofficial Prop Diva!©
> >
> Ohhhhhhh, I accept. How thrilling! Anyone have any props they need me to
> take care of? (body parts don't count..). So far, I have a lava lamp,
> antique can of Spam ™, a drinky bird, and my vast collection of floaty pens
> (the ones with water and little figures floating in them). Let's put on a
> show!
>
> RATMM.... again, I feel complete as a woman (Que the Jerry Maguire dancers
> now.)
>
> Lori
> RATMM Official Unofficial Prop Diva
Gee, will you net.marry me, Lori? I've always wanted a Prop Diva as a
net.wife!
Roland, who just got back and noticed the huge thread out of his post,
Warner
Lori Holuta
Roland Warner <tom_...@geocities.com> wrote in article
<35AE8B...@geocities.com>...
Uhhhhh, sure, why not? But that means you have to lug all my props around
on your back everywhere, since real Divas wouldn't do that.... s'okay with
you? Here, this saddle might help.
It is rather amazing that this thread has twisted into it's own life form,
isn't it? Next thing you know, it will sell it's soul to the Devil and
start luring other unsuspecting folk into driving down that long road to
see what's at the end of the messages.
In other words - this thread is where the fish lives.
Lori, Unofficial Official Prop Diva of RATMM
Lori Holuta
Rottw...@my-dejanews.com wrote
> I've been keeping a lot of stuff in the hall closet that you can take
care of
> now, seeing as you're the Prop Diva.
>
> *walks into the closet and starts tossing stuff out*
>
> Here's a cowboy hat, a stuffed wolf, a crucifix, a vase full of fake
roses, a
> typewriter, a mummy costume from last Halloween, my MST3K tapes, an Atari
> 2600, three photo albums, an electric toothbrush, Hungry Hungry Hippos,
> Elvis, a suit of armor, a cat calander from 1986, my good china, a pair
of
> platform shoes, a cat o' nine tails, some candles, a woman's gown from
1541,
> a six-pack of beer, a briefcase, a grand piano, Jimmy Hoffa, a
grandfather
> clock, a snack dispenser, some pencils, a refrigirator full of food, a
> blanket my grandmother made for me when I was seven years old, two
chairs,
> two end tables, two lamps, a love seat, a sofa and a coffee table.
>
> Tomorrow I'll empty out my bedroom closet.
>
Hungry Hungry Hippos singing the greek chorus, and Jimmy Hoffa as Juliet,
how can we miss? I'm keeping that cat o'nine tails for my own personal
use, btw.
Oh, and you shouldn't leave your MST3K tapes in the same closet with Elvis.
He might smear peanut butter on them and fry them up.
Lori
Unofficial Official Prop Diva of RATMM
Roland Warner
<struggles to refrain from making obscene jokes>
>
> It is rather amazing that this thread has twisted into it's own life form,
> isn't it? Next thing you know, it will sell it's soul to the Devil and
> start luring other unsuspecting folk into driving down that long road to
> see what's at the end of the messages.
I like mittens!
Actually, that's what I love about ths NG, is that threads take all
kinds of twists and turns and usually turn into different topics than
from the beginning.
>
> In other words - this thread is where the fish lives.
ZAH!!!
>
> Lori, Unofficial Official Prop Diva of RATMM
Roland, Does this make me the Unofficial Official Prop Diva of RATMM's
Unofficial Official Prop Guy of RATMM, Warner
Lori Holuta
> Roland, Does this make me the Unofficial Official Prop Diva of RATMM's
> Unofficial Official Prop Guy of RATMM, Warner
I guess it does - but pleeze don't ask me to say that three time fast! I
got dizzy just trying to read it!
See you Monday! In here, at least. My home computer doesn't do newsgroups
well... it's only a 486 and the hamster running it is a bit elderly, and
has asthma.
But I *will* be posting at the www.edrive.com bulletin boards over the
weekend if you care to wander back over there.... I saw you posted the
MSTing of Pay-No-More there, and already have a devoted fan of your work...
Share more??? (Ah, first read the note replying to your MSTing there, we
can't use brackets like <this> on that board, it thinks that you are doing
HTML coding.)
Have a great weekend! And that goes for the entire RATMM group!
Lori - Unofficial Official Prop Diva of RATMM. Or UOPDRATMM for short.
But don't call me that in front of my mother.
Noah Singman
>Previously on "Diffrent Strokes", Lori Holuta wrote:
>>Aaagh, No, Not Nancy McKeon?
>Um, Lisa Welchel? Kim Fields?
Kim Fields! Kim Fields!! Before that horrible, disfiguring surgery to
which she subjected herself.
Noah
MST#59539
Oh, Kim! Kim! Why did you have to do it? *sugh*
Roger M. Wilcox
<tom_...@geocities.com> wrote:
>Lori Holuta wrote:
>>
>> It is rather amazing that this thread has twisted into it's own life form,
>> isn't it? Next thing you know, it will sell it's soul to the Devil and
>> start luring other unsuspecting folk into driving down that long road to
>> see what's at the end of the messages.
>
>I like mittens!
Joe Don Baker *IS* Mittens!
--