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MSTed: WANT CUSTOMERS ??????

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Dec 2, 1997, 3:00:00 AM12/2/97

It only took me about 10 miutes to write this, so it will proably suck. Oh,
well. It also has no specific start or end, either.
Jim Lauwers

>Subject: WANT CUSTOMERS ??????

Crow: No. Can we go now?

Tom: [singing] Freeee!

>Date: Fri, Nov 28, 1997 19:35 EST

Mike: So, Debby, wanta go out on a date tonight? Hu-huh-huh!
Tom: [quietly] hear a tiny cry, as the ship goes sailing by...
Mike: heh, heh. OK Tom.

Mike: I thought it was *free* at free.com!
Crow: Yeah... Y’know, I’m having bad feelings already.

>
>YOU'VE CREATED A TERRIFIC WEBSITE !!!

Tom: WHY THANK YOU!!!
Crow: OH, IT’S NOTHING, REALLY!!!

>
>Now you have a place to promote your services,

Mike: Wait, so... is this a new sentance?

>sell your products, or provide information on the Internet.

Tom: My report on the internet. By Tom Servo.

>
>BUT HOW DOES ANYONE FIND OUT ABOUT IT???

All: [singing in a round] Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam spam....

>
>There are rules

Tom: Pfft! I don’t need your stinkin’ rules! Down with the man!

> and techniques you must follow to
>generate awareness and to build traffic to your Website.

Mike: Website (tm) from Spitco

>If you do it yourself it can take hundreds of hours.

Crow: If you’re a real moron...

>If you hire a consultant it can cost you thousands of dollars
>or if you try a scattergun

Tom: Whoa!
Crow: What?
Mike: Try a scattergun, today!

> auto-registration service,
>you're likely to miss more than you hit.
>
>MegaURL DOES IT FOR YOU, PERFECTLY !!!!!

Tom: Hah. Mah name’s Earl.
Mike: At night, he becomes...MEGA EARL!!!
Crow: Duh-duh-duh!

Tom: But we already ARE "here"

>
>Discover how you can submit

Tom: Resistance is futile! Submit now!

> your site to
> Over 2000 plus search engines,
> More than 1000 links, Ads and MUCH MORE!!!

Mike: But wait, the only people who are going to go to this site are
people who want to put up ads!

Crow: Boston Market’s double marinated! Boston Market’s double marinated!

Stinger: >YOU'VE CREATED A TERRIFIC WEBSITE !!!

Jim "Spammers, go to hell!" Lauwers

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