<MiSTing> MMPR:TM- The Script [3/11]

[TCurryFan]

<6 5 4 3 2 @>

<SOL- Theater>

> 19 INT. COMMAND CENTER - NIGHT 19
>
> SMOKE POURS from various circuit boards, numerous control
> panels VIBRATE.
>
> ZORDON
> Alpha, my sensors tell me the
> Rangers were too late! Ivan is
> on his way here!

CROW: <as Zordon> And I don't have a THING to wear!

>
> ALPHA 5
> Hey, NOBODY enters the Command
> Center without a power coin!

MIKE: Yeah... Sure...

>
> There's a BLEET, BLEET -- emergency lights start FLASHING near
> the entrance. Alpha watches, forlorn, as OOZE SEEPS through
> the hairline cracks in the door.
>
> ALPHA 5
> Well... ALMOST nobody.

ALL: Wah-wah-wah...

>
> The ooze SLITHERS AND GURGLES ACROSS THE FLOOR, once again
> IVAN RISES UP. He takes in the state-of-the-art surroundings.

MIKE: <as Ooze> COOL! Where's your stereo?

>
> IVAN
> Gee... pretty fancy-shmancy. I
> guess if you invest your money
> well over SIXTY centuries you can
> buy something pretty nice.

TOM: <as Zordon> Yeah, but I'm mortgaged up to my eyeballs!

>
> Alpha drops into a Karate stance, makes some BRUCE LEE NOISES
> then LUNGES.
>
> ALPHA 5
> HI , YAH !

MIKE: <cheerfully, waving> Hi ya!

>
> Ivan holds his arm out, ZAPS Alpha with an electrical charge
> Alpha starts spinning.
>
> ALPHA 5
> Welcome to Wiener World. May I
> take your order, please?

MIKE: Would you like fries with that?

>
> ZORDON
> You haven't changed, Ooze.
> You're still picking on creatures
> smaller than yourself.
>
> Ivan slowly circles Zordan's column of light, Zordon turns
> with him.

ALL: <singing> To everything turn, turn, turn...

>
> IVAN
> Put a cork in it "Z" . Ten
> minutes out of the egg and I'm
> already listening to one of your
> lectures.
>
> (he explodes furiously)

MIKE: ...all over the place!
CROW: Yuck!

>
> You robbed me of my PRIME! I was
> the Supreme Ruler of the most
> foul Empire in the Universe. I
> was the King of Calamity. The
> Duke of Destruction. The big man
> on campus!

MIKE: The Big Cheese! The Top Dog! King of the Hill! Top of
the Heap!

> (beat)

TOM: "Beat" who?
CROW: Let's start with Haim Saban and work our way down...

> And then you came along. You
> locked me into your stuffy little
> hyperlock-chamber and tossed me
> into the depths like yesterdays
> TRASH!
>
> ZORDON
> It worked for six thousand years.
>
> IVAN
> Don't remind me!

MIKE: <as Zordon> I just did! HA!

>
> IVAN
> Do you have any idea what it's
> like to be cooped up in a rotten
> egg for six thousand years?

MIKE: Cramped?
CROW: Smelly?

> It's
> BORING!

ALL: Oh.

> Not to mention I've had
> a Charlie horse since the
> Renaissance! But now the tables
> are turned. Now...
>
> IVAN raises his hands - he is holding a flute and he PLAYS A
> FEW NOTES

TOM: ...And the Green DragonZord emerges from the ocean and
beats the living daylights out of this episode's monster.

>
> IVAN
> ... it's time to pay the PIPER!
>
> He uses the flute like a lightning rod -- A BOLT OF LIGHTNING
> BLASTS A PANEL TO SMITHEREENS.
>
> IVAN
> Oh, the things that I have
> missed. The BLACK PLAGUE!

TOM: Reaganomics!

>
> He blows up another PANEL.
>
> IVAN
>
> The SPANISH INQUISITION!
>

ALL: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!

> (another bolt)
>
> The 70's!

MIKE: Well, he's got a point with that one.
CROW: True.

>
> HE BLOWS UP ANOTHER PANEL. Ivan CASTS ANOTHER LIGHTNING
> BOLT, DEMOLISHING AN ENERGY PILLAR.
>
> IVAN
> And now, finally, I have the
> strength to DESTROY your pathetic
> powers FOREVER!!

MIKE: Or at least until about halfway through this movie...

>
> ZORDON
> YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS!
>
> IVAN
> I've got a NEWS flash for you
> LIGHT-BRIGHT -- I ALREADY HAVE!

ALL: Ha. Ha. Ha.

>
> Now Ivan begins to THROW LIGHTNING EVERYWHERE, LAYING
> THE COMMAND CENTER TO WASTE.
>
> Ivan laughs in the b.g. as Alpha continues to spin,
> moving his arms in and out.
>
> ALPHA 5
> You put your left probe in,

CROW: Oh, Alpha, don't say "probe"...

> you
> put your left probe out, you put
> your left probe in and you shake
> it all about. You do the hokey-
> pokey and you turn yourself
> around...

ALL: <singing> That's what it's all about- HEY!

>
>
> 20 EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - NIGHT 20

>
> Two rats charge Aisha and she LEAPS UPWARD - the pair SMASH
> into each other.
>
> Rocky picks up a two-by-four and starts SPARRING with another
> rat.

TOM: <Jimmy Cagney> You dirty rat...

>
> Billy SHOVES A HUGE WOODEN-SPOOL down a slope and it
> ROLLS INTO A COUPLE OF RATS, BOWLING THEM OVER.

MIKE: <announcer> Oh, and Billy picks up the spare!

>
> One rat CRACKS IT'S TAIL like a whip, KNOCKING Adam to
> the ground.
>
> Another rat gets Kimberly in a bear hug and she makes a
> face.
>
> KIMBERLY
> RAT breath!!

TOM: This from a girl who kisses TOMMY.
CROW: OUCH!

>
> She grabs a handful of his whiskers.
>
> KIMBERLY
> Somebody needs a shave.
>
> She YANKS THEM OUT, the rat SQUEALS and releases her. The
> fight well, but the rats start to get the upperhand.
>
> TOMMY
> IT'S MORPHIN TIME!

MIKE: The kids proceed to shoot up.
TOM: No; "morphin", not "morphine"...
MIKE: Oh.

>
> The Rangers click their power coins into their power morphers.

MIKE: Then open up their powerbooks, put on their power ties,
and schedule power lunches.

>
> KIMBERLY
> PTERODACTYL!
>
> BILLY
> TRICERATOPS!

MIKE: Passenger pigeon!

>
> ROCKY
> TYRANNOSAURUS!

CROW: Dodo bird!

>
> ADAM
> MASTODON!

TOM: Prezwalski's horse!

>
> AISHA
> SABER TOOTH TIGER!
>
> TOMMY
> WHITE TIGER!
>
> RANGERS
> MORPHENOMENAL!
>
> They JUMP INTO THE AIR and they're ENGULFED IN A DAZZLING
> GOLDEN LIGHT as we do a 3D MOVIE VERSION OF THEIR
> TRANSFORMATION INTO COSTUME.

MIKE: Who's "we"?

>
> They all LAND and there's a WHIRRING SOUND as all six of the
> face pieces POLARIZE so we can see their faces. The rats
> immediately scurry off.

CROW: I would too if I had to look at those faces!

>
> TOMMY
> Let's teach these vermin a few
> manners.

TOM: Emily Post, Gold Power Ranger.

>
> AISHA
> Activating Power Beam!

CROW: Ooh! Nice "headlights", Aisha!
MIKE: Crow!
TOM: Oh, let him have his fun.

>
> A YELLOW BEAM SLICES THROUGH THE DARKNESS. Aisha leads the
> group through the site.
>
> KIMBERLY
> Everybody stay alert.

TOM: <as random Ranger> ZZzzz... <snort> Huh?

>
> (CONTINUED)

ALL: NOOO!!

> - NEXT FILE
> PAGES 21 ONWARDS
>
> 20 CONTINUED: (2) 20
>
> They pass a bulldozer, some scaffolding

MIKE: ...rock piles, pools of water, and a plethora of building
supplies...

>
> ADAM
> Hold it...
>
> They come to a stop.
>
> ADAM (pointing)
> I heard something over there.
>
> BILLY
> Activating Audio Enhancer!

TOM: What? I can't quite hear you?! <turns to CROW and MIKE>
See, cuz... Aw, forget it.

>
> AN AUTO-PHONIC RECEIVER POPS OUT of the side of Billy's
> helmet. As he turns his head, the receivers ROTATE.

MIKE: RADAR!

>
> SOUND EFFECT: We hear silence and then... a RASPY
> BREATHING, followed by a GUTTURAL SNARL.

TOM: The audience is getting restless...

>
> BILLY
> They're on the other side of that
> wall.
>
> The Rangers advance along a cement wall, slowly round a
> corner. Aisha's light PANS THROUGH THE GLOOM.
>
> TOMMY
> Anybody see them?

MIKE: Nope. The audience is gone.

>
> ROCKY
> Activating Power Scope!

TOM: Isn't it convenient that they got all this neato equipment
just minutes before this fight?

>
> A SCOPE SNAPS into place over Rocky's left eye.

TOM: Oh, no! Rocky's been turned into a Borg!
CROW: You say that like it's a _bad_ thing...

>
> P.O.V. - THROUGH POWER TRACKER
>
> We see HEAT SENSOR OUTLINES, PULSATING

CROW: Oh, yeah.... Baaayyyybee...

>
WITH COLOR.
> COMMAND GRAPHIC: SEARCH MODE.
>
> Lines VECTOR and SCAN as Rocky searches the area. Eventually
> he looks up and the lines LOCK ON TO THE PULSATING FORMS OF
> THE RATS.
>
> ROCKY
> THEY'RE ABOVE US!!

MIKE: <as Hudson> They're everywhere, man! Game over! Game
over!

>
> The creatures LEAP DOWN and we see the Rangers pull off
> KICKS, SUCKER PUNCHES, SPINBACK-ROUNDHOUSES, you name it.

MIKE: Bitch-slapping!
CROW: Kneeing 'em in the groin!

>
> One of the beasts TACKLES Tommy and the pair go TUMBLING
> OWN A TWENTY FOOT ROCK PILE. Aisha picks up a handful of dirt
>
> AISHA
> Hey, handsome!

ALL Yes?

>
> A beast turns -- Aisha FLINGS dirt in his eyes.
>
> AISHA
> My mistake.

CROW: No, your mistake was being in this movie!

>
> She follows through with an OVER SHOULDER THROW --
> the beast CRASHES INTO A JOHNNY-ON-THE-SPOT.

MIKE: <as "Johnny"> OW! Hey, watch it!
TOM: As long as it wasn't a Johnny-Yong-Bosch-on-the-Spot...
He's the only one of these guys who can act!

>
> Rocky fights another beast and the creature SWINGS
> UP THROUGH SCAFFOLDING with phenomenal dexterity. Rocky goes
> after him.
>
> TOMMY
> SABA SABER?

MIKE: ...sells seashells at the seashore to seasick sailors for
seven cents!

>
> The talking Saber appears in Tommy's hand.
>
> SABA (yawning)
> What a DREAM I was having!

CROW: <as Saba> I was naked in the middle of a fight! It was SO
embarrassing!

>
> TOMMY
> We've got company.
>
> Saba sees the rats.
>
> SABA
> Rats! I hate rats!

MIKE: <as Indiana Jones> Snakes... I hate snakes...

>
> We hear a PRIMITIVE CRY as a beast SLAMS INTO ADAM,
> SENDS HIM CATAPULTING. Adam rises, speaks in a low growl.

MIKE: AH! He's turned feral on us!

>
> ADAM
> Bad move, Willard!
>
> He holds his hand in the air.

CROW: And waves 'em like he just don't care.

>
> ADAM
> STEGA-STINGER!

MIKE: You are NOT ready!

>
> The STEGA-STINGER appears in Adam`s hand. He aims
> it toward an overhang, FIRES. A thin wire SHOOTS OUT -- the
> Stinger at the end PIERCES the overhang.
>
> ADAM
> Coming through!

TOM: ...Hot stuff! LOOK out!

>
> Adam leaps off a platform, SWINGS THROUGH THE AIR like Tarzan,
> SLAMS into the rat and sends him CATAPULTING.
>
> ADAM
> Target Neutralized?

MIKE: Don't ask us- it's your movie!

>
> KIMBERLY
> Raptor-Ribbon!
>
> A contraption APPEARS in Kimberly's hand and she throws her
> arm out -- a LONG RIBBON SWIRLS out and tangles itself around
> the rat.

CROW: Gee, who knew being a rhythm gymnast would be a
requirement for becoming a Power Ranger!?

>
> KIMBERLY
> Now you see `em.
>
> She yanks the ribbon pulling the rat into an opening -- he
> DISAPPEARS.

CROW: Ewww! He disappeared into "an opening"! I don't EVEN
wanna think about what THAT could mean.
MIKE: Gee, I wasn't thinking _anything_ until you brought it up!

>
> KIMBERLY
> Now you don't.
>
> Billy takes a hit, ROLLS across the ground. He stops inches
> away from a twenty foot drop-off.

MIKE: Damn... So close.

>
> The beast CHARGES HIM,

MIKE: <as Billy> Hey! I thought you said this drink was on the
house?!

> he ducks and the beast GOES FLYING
> THROUGH THE AIR AND SPLASHES DOWN IN ONE OF THE MUDDY
> POOLS OF WATER.
>
> BILLY
> Not the brightest of beasts.

CROW: Takes one to know one.

>
> Rocky is now up in the scaffolding. He DROPS TEN FEET through
> the air, LANDS ON ONE END OF A BOARD.
>
> There's a beast at the other end and he goes FLIPPING THROUGH
> THE AIR.
>
> Tommy throws Saba Saber and the knife SWOOPS THROUGH THE AIR

TOM: I really wish they'd stop SHOUTING...

> and zings around the beasts as they try to knock him down.
>
> SABA
> Na na na na na!

MIKE: <singing> Saba-na-na, na-na-na-na-na/ Get a job...

>
> The rats chase after Saba as he heads into a water-slicked
> area. There's a large power cable running across it. Once
> all the rats are in the water, Saba kamikaze dives into the
> cable, SLICING IT OPEN WITH AN ERUPTION OF SPARKS. The water
> SIZZLES WITH ELECTRICITY and the rats GO UP IN A PUFF OF
> SMOKE.
>
> SABA
> Fried mice, anyone?

ALL: <raising hands (or trying to)> Oh, oh!

>
> We see the six original small rats scurry away, SQUEAKING.

TOM: Six Rangers, six rats... How... Something.
CROW: Yeah... Something... <shakes head>

>
> Suddenly, there's an EXPLOSION OF ELECTRICAL ACTIVITY and the
> Rangers watch, stunned, as their COSTUMES DE-MATERIALIZE

MIKE: Ah!!

>
and
> they appear back in civilian clothes.

MIKE: Whew!

>
> KIMBERLY
> What's going on?!
>
> Billy tries his wrist communicator.
>
> BILLY
> Alpha, come in!
>
> There's no response.

TOM: <as Spock> Either they are unwilling to respond, or they
are unable to respond.

>
> TOMMY
> We'd better get back.

MIKE: To where you once belonged?

>
> They all hit their communicators and nothing happens.
>
> AISHA (worried)
> Something's wrong!

TOM: Boy, she's quick!

>
> TOMMY
> Come on, guys...
>
> They hurry off.

MIKE: Run! There's still a chance to save your careers!
CROW: Speaking of running... Let's go.

<Commercials>

<@ 1 2 3 4 5 6>

<SOL- Bridge>

<TOM is playing with his PR action figures. CROW comes in>

CROW: Whatcha got there, Servo?

TOM: Nothing! Nothing at all!

<TOM tries to hide the toys>

CROW: So you ARE a fanboy! I knew it! Fanboy! Fanboy!

TOM: <pathetically> No! I'm not... I'm... WAAAAHHH!!! My life
is a sham!

<MIKE comes in>

MIKE: Hey guys, what's up?

TOM: Daddy didn't love me!

CROW: Tommy-Boy here is a Power Ranger fan! Isn't that the
funniest thing? Fanboy! Fanboy!

MIKE: Oh, MAN! That is so pathe- <he points to one of the
figures> Hey, is that the Pink Ranger?

TOM: Maybe.. Why?

MIKE: <embarrassed> Oh. Uh. No reason.

CROW: <to TOM> Fanboy! Fanboy! Fan-- what was that, Mike?

MIKE: <defensively> Nothin'...

TOM: Admit it, Mike... Make it easier for both of us.

MIKE: No! There's no way I'm going to admit I have a crush on
Amy Jo Johnson!

<TOM and CROW are slackjawed>

TOM & CROW: Fanboy! Fanboy! Fanboy!

MIKE: Hey, have you SEEN Amy Jo Johnson in short shorts?

TOM: Well, she's no Donna Dixon.

CROW: But who is, really?

MIKE: Besides... it's not like *I'm* the one playing with the
Power Ranger dolls!

TOM: It's a medical condition, ok?!

CROW: Fanboys! FANBOOOOYS!

TOM: Don't you see? My father didn't show me enough attention
as a little boy, and now I'm reduced to this!

CROW: FAAAAAANNNNBBBOOOOOYYYYSSSS!!!

MIKE: You don't even *have* a father!

TOM: See what I mean?

MIKE: Then what does that have to do with dolls?

TOM: <snapping> They're "ACTION FIGURES"!

CROW: Oh, what's the matter, Tom? Do you wanna be alone with
your little dollies?

TOM: They AREN'T dolls! Mike, make him stop!

MIKE: Crow... Stop.

CROW: Not until he calls them dollies!

TOM: ACTION FIGURES!

MIKE: Crow!

CROW: Tom!

TOM: Miiiiiike!

MIKE: Tom, call them dollies, then we can end this madness, ok?

TOM: But they're not dollies!

CROW: Dollies! Fanboy!

MIKE: Tom, please?

TOM: <sigh> Ok, so they're...

<LIGHTS FLASH, BUZZERS SOUND>

MIKE: Aaaaaaaaahhh! We got Script Sign!

TOM: Whew!

"Did anything about that seem strange to you?"
-Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones), _Men_in_Black_
Catherine Johnson ---------- MiSTie #75,125 ---------- TCur...@aol.com