[MiSTing] Three TNG shorts [2/2]
McDLT
goofed. Here is part two, which is the thrid story: A Bit of Lore
[6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... ...]
[The trio enters the theater, and sits down.]
[Path omitted, as that is what caused the goof]
Obs.: I will never understand why humans get so illogically excited
about their Paths.
[Path omitted, as that is what caused the goof]
Pearl: To summarize: MCI, wabbit. Not for mail, not for internal
use.
>From: GReNDeL
Bobo: [Mumbling] Where's Beowulf when you need him.
> <gre...@rabble.i.mud.to.much>
Pearl: And that is step one towards recovery.
>Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
Bobo: That's one point going for it.
>Subject: [fanfic] Bit o lore (1/1)
Bobo: That's two.
Pearl: Like that ingrate I laughing call a "son" would be easy on
us?
>Date: 25 Mar 1996
Obs.: Yes, make sure to properly age a fanfic before send it to
your captive subjects
> 19:10:31 +1100
>Organization: University of Wollongong, NSW, Australia.
Pearl: I thought it was Wollomaroo.
Bruce: I think you're right.
Bruce: Yup, Bruce, definitely Wollomaroo, in God's own country.
Pearl: Knock it out, you two.
Boys: Yes ma'am.
>Lines: 244
Obs.: Pain, now in a new concentrate!
>Sender: ll...@wumpus.its.uow.edu.au
>Message-ID: <4j5kdn$c...@wumpus.its.uow.edu.au>
>NNTP-Posting-Host: wumpus.its.uow.edu.au
>Summary: fanfic
>Keywords: lore
Obs.: No, this will never be classic cultural lore.
>X-Newsreader: NN version 6.5.0 #5
>
>Ok, a friend asked me to post this.
Pearl: Remember, do not give into peer pressure.
>Reply to his email (if its in, or me, I'll bounce it over.
Bobo: ACK! The story hasn't even started, and my mind is aching!
>Lets go shall we ^_^
Obs.: Must we?
>***************************
>Star Trek was invented by a man with a vision
Pearl: A vision that included many Amazonian aliens in next to no
clothing.
>
>This story was written by a man without conscience
Bobo: Lawgiver, I'm scared!
>
>Star Trek and Star Trek the Next Generation is Copyright bla bla bla. I
>don't own anything except my own chemically-imbalanced brain.
Obs.: This is your fanfic. This is your fanfic on drugs.
>
>
>A BIT OF LORE
>by Ian Taylor
>
> The two exhausted ensigns
Obs.: Ohh! Assonance, and it looks intentional, maybe Clay goofed up!
> walked slowly down the corridor towards the
>sleeping quarters.
Bobo: Am I allowed to be seeing this?
> Around them was the usual bustle of a
Pearl: Middle eastern open air market. These ensigns had never been the
most observant of the lot.
> standard shift
>change and other bleary eyed starfleet personnel trudging back to their
>own bunks.
Obs.: To get the new miracle surgery of Radial Caretonomy.
> "_Fifty_six_hours!_"
Bobo: The unsuccessful spin-off series from 48 hours.
> yawned Ensign McDonnel, almost having to
>justify the absurdity of his statement to the world.
Pearl: But since they were on a spaceship, that seemed rather pointless.
> Ensign Sheldon
All: [Barely restrained laughter]
Obs.: SHELDON?!?
> just nodded in agreement.
Pearl: [Sheldon] Just smile and nod, smile and nod, he will eventually go
away...
> The pair had been on red
>alert in the engineering section due to the Enterprise encountering a Borg
>ship.
Obs.: And everyone knows that during a red alert it is more important to
keep the same exhausted crew members at their stations rather than
allow shift changes to occur as normal.
> "Did you hear anything about the Captain being captured?"
Pearl: [Sheldon] Good gracious, will he never stop babbling?
> asked
>McDonnel
> "No, nothing." answered Sheldon. "I think he beamed down to that
>planet we found, though"
Bobo: Last time on Star Trek: TNG.
Pearl: First we listen to a recap of First Contact, and now Descent?
> "You know what I heard?
Pearl: [Sheldon] No, but I bet you're going to tell me anyways.
> I heard that we managed to capture the Borg
>commander, and it turned out to be that 'Hugh' guy we captured last year
>and sent back!"
Obs.: By the time we muddle through all this back story, the fanfic will
be OVER!
> "Yeah?"
> McDonnel lowered his voice. "Yeah.
Bobo: Yeah?
Obs.: Yeah!
Bobo: Yeah?
Obs.: Yeah!
Pearl: Alright, knock it off.
> I heard that it was using
Pearl: Rogaine. Apparently the captain is getting ideas.
>Federation command techniques it got from talking to La Forge."
Obs.: As opposed to La Forge giving them, what, Klingon command
techniques?
> "No! Not La Forge!"
Bobo: Someone needs a new hearing aid battery.
> "It's true!" whispered McDonnel harshly.
Pearl: Gee! Say it, don't spray it!
> "Why do you think we've
>been dismissed from engineering?
Obs.: Because you've been on duty for more than two days straight, and
they brought in some fresh officers?
Pearl: Observer, you have to stop wondering how they eat and sleep, and
other science facts. Just relax and read.
> They're dismantling the Borg commander
>as we speak, but they don't want us to know that it's him."
Pearl: One of the 24th century readers of alt.conspiracy.
> "Why?"
Obs.: Because you are just two ensigns, probably without full security
clearence.
> "Now that's what I'd like to know!"
> The conversation ended
All: Praise God!
> just as McDonnel and Sheldon reached their
>bunks.
Bobo: Suddenly, I miss the conversation...
> "I'll see you next shift" said McDonnel. Sheldon nodded in
>agreement.
>
> After their first decent rest, Sheldon and McDonnel met again in the
>engineering section.
Bobo: So they are in the same bunks, yet manage to avoid seeing each
other until their shift begins?
> "So what's happening today?"
Pearl: Well, Michael just asked Mary to marry him, not realizing that
Mary's husband is alive, having just recovered from a coma in
Mexico. Unfortunately Mary's husband has near total amnesia,
and has fallen in love with his buxom nurse, Margrite, but she
is seeing...
> asked McDonnel, yawning.
> Sheldon shrugged his shoulders.
Obs.: He had tried shrugging his knees, but that hurt.
> "Nothing exciting. We're docked at
>Eastman Starport
Bobo: A very picturesque Starport...cause then it would be a Kodak
moment...oh forget it.
> for emergency repairs, but that's it."
> McDonnel rolled his eyes skyward. "More work!
Obs.: Well, at least he's excited about it.
> Who're the idiots
>they'll get to do most of the repairs? Us, I'll bet!"
Bobo: Well, there wouldn't be much point of basing the fanfic around you
if you just stood around while other people did the work!
> Sheldon nodded in agreement before something shiny got his attention.
Pearl: [Sheldon] Ohhhhh, shiiiiney!
>He kneeled down to pick it up
Pearl: Cause it's all purdy, and shiny!
> but before he could examine it, in walked
>Geordie La Forge.
> "Sir!" barked McDonnel,
All: Grrr! RUFF! Bark! Bark!
> snapping to attention.
[From somewhere a knuckle cracking sound echoes through the theater.]
Pearl: Owwwww!
> Sheldon also snapped
>to attention but not before concealing his find in his pocket.
Obs.: So these guys are kleptomaniacs also. Just see something shiny,
and grab it, like a crow building a nest.
> "Easy guys!" said La Forge in a calming tone.
Bobo: [LaForge] There, there. There, there.
> "We won't be needing
>either of you today on the Enterprise,
Pearl: So into the airlock with you!
> but I promised Commander Stewart at
>Eastman that we'd try and fix their transporters.
Obs.: Starfleet, intergalactic temp agency.
> You guys are
>experienced at transporter malfunctions,
Pearl: In fact, every time you touch the transporter, it seems to
malfunction.
> so you'll need to take a
>shuttlecraft over to the station,
Bobo: [LaForge] Try to bring it back with gas this time, huh?
> because the Enterprise's own
>transporters are being overhauled."
Obs.: Hence, why two of the transport technicians aren't needed, and
can be loaned to a Stardock that probably has other starships
present that can loan them techies!
> "Yes, Sir!" the ensigns echoed in unison.
Bobo: Es, sir, sir, sir, ir, ir, r...
> "I've cleared you to take the Boy of Air over to the station.
Pearl: The BOY OF AIR?? Who the hell names these?
Obs.: It's no odder than Satellite of Love.
>Whenever you're ready." With that, La Forge turned and left the room.
[All make faces at Geordie when he turns around.]
> McDonnel and Sheldon glanced at each other,
Bobo: [McDonnel] You ready?
Obs.: [Sheldon] Nope. You?
Bobo: Nope, let's get a beer.
> picked up their
>engineering kits and left the room towards the shuttle bay.
>
> "Another damned repair mission!" bellowed McDonnel
Obs.: Woah, there, take it down a notch.
> as he sat down
>heavily in the pilot's chair.
Pearl: Been hitting the junk food too much again?
> Sheldon just nodded in agreement.
Pearl: [Sheldon] Yup, uh huh, does he ever stop complaining?
> After
>completing safety checks and rudimentary take off procedures, Sheldon
>reached into his pocket and pulled out his prize.
Obs.: Starfleet prefers using positive reinforcement training with its
ensigns. Operant conditioning is found to be less expensive
than advanced technical degrees.
> "What's that?" queried McDonnel.
Bobo: It's MINE, and you can't have it!
> "I'm not sure" shrugged Sheldon.
Pearl: Duh, but look, purty shiny!
> "It seems to be some kind of
>component chip, but I've no idea what from!"
Obs.: So, in the off chance it turned out to be something important
I decided to pocket it.
> "Never seen anything like it." agreed McDonnel before turning his
>attention to the communications channel.
Bobo: Look at all these buttons! Never seen anything like it!
> "This is Ensign Andrew McDonnel of the Boy of Air requesting
>clearance to depart the Enterprise."
Pearl: Hello, this is Enterprise Launch Support, your hail is important
to us, so please stay on the channel, and you request will be
handled in the order it was received.
> The bland voice of the duty communications officer shot back.
Pearl: Steven Wright?
Bobo: John Katz?
Obs.: Bob Newhart?
Bobo: Hi, Bob.
[All grab glasses from who knows where, and down a sip]
> "Boy
>of Air, you are cleared to depart."
Bobo: [Singing] Oh sing me a song, about a lad who has gone, say could that
lad be I?...oh, wait, that's sea to Skye, isn't it.
Pearl: I really wish you would think these through before charging in.
> "Thank you!" pipped McDonnel
Pearl: Cause we're leaving
Boys: Leaving
Pearl: On the midnight shuttle to Gerogia.
> as he rudely cut the link and jammed his
>finger onto the impulse acceleration key.
Obs.: Road rage of the 24th century.
> The Boy of Air shot out of the
>shuttlebay at three-quarter impulse,
Bobo: Alright, pull it over, where's the fire.
> causing all of the doors to close as
>emergency loss-of-atmosphere controls kicked in.
Pearl: How did these two get through the academy?
Obs.: Tragically clipping a ski lift cable as they left the Enterprise.
>
> "Whoa!" exclaimed Sheldon as he examined the rear monitor and saw the
Bobo: Trail of death and destruction that McDonnel inevitably left behind
him.
>Enterprise dwindling slowly in the distance.
> "Now, where exactly was this Eastman Starport?" queried McDonnel.
Obs.: With all these fancy replacements for "asked" and "said," I'm
beginning to miss KLINGON TERROR.
> "Uh, it was sort of wrapped around the Enterprise! Remember that we
>were docked!
Obs.: Wha, wha, whaaaaa.
> I think you flew through the space doors as well."
> "Lucky they were open, then."
Pearl: This is degrading quickly to the level of bad sitcom.
> mused McDonnel as he slowly turned the
>Boy of Air around. "So" he chirped,
Bobo: Chirped? I think this is going a bit far.
> changing the subject, "Let's have a
>look at what you found."
> Sheldon opened his engineering kit and picked up the strange chip.
Bobo: [McDonnel] Wow, a potato chip that looks like Iwo Jima!
>
> A few hours later,
Pearl: So it takes this long to go from a docked ship to the dock
itself?
Obs.: If they were docked, couldn't they have WALKED?
> the communication link jumped into life.
Bobo: And a wacky chase ensues as they try to catch it!
> "This is Eastman Control to Federation shuttlecraft Boy of Air."
> McDonnel grabbed the comm switch.
Obs.: Snapping it off in his hand.
> "This is Boy of Air. What the
>hell are you doing, Eastman?"
> "Full apologies, Boy of Air.
Pearl: Our base commander is a bit odd like that, enjoys the occasional
power trip of making people wait to board. You understand, don't
you.
> We have a situation here concerning the
>Ferengi Grand Nagus. He's insisting that no ships may dock until he's
>finished unloading his supply of gold pressed latinum.
Obs.: Which, even with a good portion of the wealth of Ferenginar,
shouldn't take more than an hour tops. What is he doing,
unloading it bar by bar and checking it's serial number?
Pearl: These are Ferengi.
> Again, apologies
>for the delay."
> "Damn!" shouted McDonnel. "Eastman, we've been orbiting for six
>hours!
Bobo: So why couldn't they just return to the Enterprise until Eastman
was able to receive them?
Pearl: You two need to stop thinking about these so much.
> If we can just get aboard we can fix your transporters in fifteen
>minutes!"
Obs.: Since Eastman obviously doesn't have a single engineer on board.
COME ON NOW AUTHOR! Are all Australians this illogical?
> "We'll keep that in mind, Boy of Air. Eastman Control out."
> The communications link severed
Bobo: And more violent action verbs.
> as McDonnel turned towards Sheldon.
>Sheldon was still busy running tests on the mysterious chip.
Pearl: One chip, six hours, makes sense.
> "Anything?" asked McDonnel in a raspy voice,
Obs.: Oh you know what that raspy voice always does to me, Donny!
> still hoarse from
>yelling at Eastman Control for six hours.
> Sheldon looked up. "Actually, yes.
Bobo: I think it's a chip!
> I think that this chip is the
>same as the intelligence module for most small craft, like this
>shuttlecraft."
> McDonnel cocked one eyebrow. "Do you think we should try it out?"
Obs.: Oh sure, an unknown piece of technology, let's plug it on in!
> Sheldon nodded in agreement.
Pearl: [Sheldon] Yeah, sure, just anything to shut him up!
>
> Desperate for anything to relieve the boredom, McDonnel and Sheldon
>opened the engineering access panel and removed the artificial
>intelligence module from the Boy of Air.
Obs.: Knocking out the auto-pilot, sending them spiraling into the
space station, where the explode in a display of pyrotechnics, the
end.
> Sheldon held the new chip up to
>the light before inserting it into the now em pty component slot.
Bobo: Or that empty slot between the "em" and "pty"
> Almost immediately the lights on the shuttlecraft dimmed and the Boy
>of Air juddered
All: Juddered?
Obs.: Some sort of Aussie slang I haven't heard of?
> to a start as the impulse engines sprang to life.
>McDonnel and Sheldon gaped at each other
Bobo: Duhhh, not good?
> in surprise as they broke orbit
>with Eastman and started back towards the
Pearl: Spoiler space?
Obs.: Marvel at the exciting tension of accidental line breaks.
>Enterprise. McDonnel punched the comm switch.
> "Enterprise! This is Boy of Air! We're experiencing involuntary
>movement!
Bobo: "Involuntary movement?"
Obs.: No need for technobabble there, just say "Out of control."
> Are you using the tractor beam?"
> "Negative, Boy of Air." came the reply. "Sensors show that your
>impulse engines are currently in use. Are you in control?"
Pearl: [McDonnel] If we WE'RE, our movement would be INVOLUNTARY, would
it?
> "Negative, Enterprise!" said McDonnel as the shuttlecraft picked up
Bobo: Hookers.
Pearl: BOBO!
>speed. "Can you help us?"
> "Very well, Boy of Air.
Obs.: [Enterprise, grumbling] Damn ensigns, get in the slightest problem
and they come crying to us for help, can't the fix anything on
their own--what do you mean the channel is still open, oh, ah...
> Attempting to lock on with tractor beam."
> McDonnel and Sheldon looked at each other
Pearl: For the 20th time this story.
> as the shuttlecraft lurched
Obs.: You raang? Ugggggghhh.
>to a halt. The impulse engines, however did not go off, and started to
>make a high-pitched whine
Bobo: Ohhh, but we don't WAAANNA shut off!
> while they laboured against the tractor beam.
>
> McDonnel again punched the comm switch.
Obs.: Such violence!
> "Enterprise! Can you beam
>us out of here?"
Pearl: If they COULD, don't you think the would have SUGGESTED it?
> "Affirmative!
Pearl: Oh...well.
> Stand by to be beamed aboard!"
Bobo: We don't need lumber, we need out of here!
> The Boy of Air
Obs.: I've dealt with it thus far, but does anyone else have any...
*problems* with the name of that shuttle?
Pearl: Now that you bring it up...
> started to shake violently as the impulse engines
>strained to break the tractor beam.
Pearl: But it was built John Deere tough!
Obs.: [sings] And painted John Deere Green, in letters 5 foot high, he
wrote Boy of Air love Charlene...
> McDonnel and Sheldon stood in silent
>prayer in the centre of the shuttlecraft,
Bobo: Fitting, since these two seem to have nougat for brains.
Obs.: Yes, let's all go calling kettles black!
> and they breathed a heavy sigh
>of relief as the Enterprise's transpor ter effect shimmered around them.
Pearl: Though they quickly wish they had kept that breath, as they saw
the void of space materialize around them...
>
> The transporter room was the next sight that greeted the engineer's
>eyes.
Obs.: And it was the Delanie Sisters that next greeted the engineer's...
Pearl: Now now, not in front of Bobo.
> Ensign Chambers, who was operating the transporter at the time
>opened his mouth to question the engineers about any potential injuries
>when a wailing klaxon cut rudely cut him off.
Obs.: Thus abruptly bringing the run-on sentence to a halt.
Pearl: Oh yes, let's all just stop our conversations and listen to the
klaxon!
> "RED ALERT! RED ALERT! All hands brace for impact!"
Bobo: What about the rest of our bodies?
> came the
>warning from the Communications Officer. A split second later the
>Enterprise rocked violently as the now-familiar sound of an exploding
>photon torpedo echoed throughout the starship. A second explosion was
>felt, but this one was more distant.
Obs.: Wait, isn't he even going to tell us what each explosion was?
Bobo: This leaves more open questions by accident than the first
post did on purpose!
> "Bridge to transporter room!" came the voice of Commander Riker
>through Chambers' comm badge.
Pearl: Ohhh, there's that disembodied voice again...
Obs.: Someone needs to cut back on pleasure crystals.
Bobo: Are those like Retsyn?
> "Transporter room, Sir!" answered Chambers.
Obs.: [Chambers] Transporter chamber, sir...DAMN, I always get that
mixed up!
> "The Boy of Air has just exploded.
Obs.: As did something else we're not sure of yet.
> Did you manage to get the crew
>off safely?"
> "Yes, Sir! They're alive and well."
Pearl: [Riker] Damn!
> "Good! Have them report to me on the bridge. Riker out."
>
> Just then, La Forge entered the room.
Bobo: In the distance a dog barked...
> "Thank God you guys made it out okay! I was a little worried when
>the Boy of Air exploded.
Obs.: [LaForge] I was worried you might not be on it.
> How are you feeling?"
Pearl: Well, I've had a lot of anxiety ever since my wife left me. She
accused me of having an Oedipal complex, and I said it is just
natural to scream out the name of one's mother during...oh, you
mean PHYSICALLY, don't you?
> "Uh, fine Sir!' answered McDonnel. Sheldon nodded in agreement. The
>two walked out on their way to the bridge when La Forge noticed the
>component chip from the Boy of Air that Sheldon was still holding.
> "Say, what's that guys?"
Pearl: It's shiny! See?
Boys: Ohhhhhh!
> Sheldon held it up. "Er, I found it in the engineering section
>during your briefing this morning, Sir!" stammered Sheldon.
Obs.: Yup, I found it in the back of engineering, at the end of a long
corridor in a disused lavatory with a sign saying "Beware the
Leopard!"
> La Forge took it and examined it closely. "Thanks, Sheldon. I did
>wonder where this had gotten to.
Bobo: [LaForge] Silly me, I thought someone might have stolen it or
something, haha!
> You guys had better get up to the
>bridge, though."
> McDonnel and Sheldon quickly left the room.
>
> "Damn! I thought that Riker was going to roast us alive." exclaimed
>McDonnel.
Pearl: [McDonnel] And I was SO looking forward to it.
Bobo: Well, with my patented banana-jama-bar-b-Q sauce...
> "Yeah!" agreed Sheldon, nodding in agreement. "I wonder why the Boy
>of Air went crazy?"
Obs.: Well, he was up in Wyoming, and drew a bull no man could ride...
> "It must have been something to do with that new chip we implanted.
Pearl: Ok, let's review the records, he stole a chip, put it into a circuit
board having no idea what it would do, and then left it to be blown
up. He graduated the academy how?
Obs.: It's alright, lawgiver, it's almost over.
>Somehow it made the impulse engines go nuts!"
> "And then it started firing _photon_torpedoes?_"
Obs.: Ah, a page later we finally get clarification.
Pearl: Now now, the author has no way of knowing that her readers aren't
psychic.
> "Lucky the chip was destroyed when Enterprise blew up the Boy of Air,
>but what was the chip you gave La Forge?"
Bobo: And why did it have ridges?
> asked McDonnel quizically.
> Sheldon just gave him a sheepish grin.
Obs.: Cause he just gave Riker three bags full, and I'm not talking
wool.
> The two stood at the turbolift entrance on the bridge after their
>debriefing with Commander Riker.
Bobo: Did this scene just start over?
> The turbolift doors sprang open,
All: YII!
>interrupting their conversation, and there stood La Forge. The engineers
>stepped in as La Forge stepped out and the turbolift sped off, taking
>McDonnel and Sheldon back to engineering.
Pearl: And out of this story, eliciting a sigh of relief from the two
engineers.
>
> La Forge strode over to the Commander. Riker broke into a cheesy
>grin and spoke.
Bobo: [Riker] I *like* cheese
> "Geordi? Any word on that emotion missing chip?"
Obs.: [LaForge] Yes, "lunchbox."
Pearl: "Emotion...missing...chip..." Oh, I'm sorry, you were doing so
well until then, but thanks for playing!
> "Yes, Sir. Ensign Sheldon found it, and I've been running tests for
>the last twenty minutes. It appears to be exactly the same as Federation
>artificial intelligence technology."
Obs.: Though apparently he is too intranced to notice that it came out of
the shuttle! I would think that if we're adding terminal codes in
the first fanfic, we can tag shuttle components.
Pearl: You're trying to think too hard again. You should really just
relax.
> Riker cocked one eyebrow.
Obs.: Or eyebrowed one...
Pearl: No!
> "I always assumed that Lore was more
>advanced than our own technology.
Bobo: What?
Obs.: Huh?
Pearl: This is all so stream of consciousness it makes my head hurt.
> I guess there's nothing else that we
>can learn from dismantling him.
Obs.: Unless we can reveal his methods of nutrient intake, or the use of
air circulation as a coolent...
> You'd better dispose of the components we
>recovered."
> "ALL of them?" queried La Forge. "I think Data wanted to keep the
>emotion chip as a souvenir."
Pearl: Since it's the same AI technology he could find anywhere on the
ship.
Bobo: Wait, does this mean the ship and shuttles have emotions?
> Riker nodded in agreement.
>
Obs.: And it ends.
[They all get up to leave.]
>**** Author's Notes ****
All: Noo!
[They all sit]
> I wonder
Obs.: I WAH WAH WAH WAH Wonder...
> exactly why the Enterprise has the best of everything.
Bobo: Yet still had to rely on Wesley to save them.
>It's got the best Security officer (the only Klingon in Starfleet), the
>best Counsellor,
Pearl: Troi got replaced?
> the best barmaid (with reality-altering power),
Obs.: NOW how much would you pay? WAIT, there's more...
> the best
>Engineer (who spent his first two years on board the Enterprise steering
>the ship),
Obs.: In a suave move to not have to hire any new cast members.
> the best doctor (apart from Julian Bashir,
Bobo: So then she's only second best. Why doesn't he just say that??
Pearl: It's alright, it's almost over.
> because a man with
>his social skills has got to be brilliant at something!),
Obs.: But that argument implies Bobo must be good at something. I wonder
if collecting flees counts...
Bobo: Alright, that's it!
Pearl: SIT! Save that energy, use it! Now, focus it on the fanfic.
> the best first
>officer (who could command his own starship tomorrow), AND the best
>captain! (baldly going.....)
Obs.: I still like Kirk better.
Bobo: You would...
Obs.: I'd be insulted if that made any sense...
>
>So why not have a couple of sub-standard ensigns?
Obs.: Other than the fact that these two would never have gotten through
the Academy?
Pearl: Let's let this drop...
> I mean you throw in two
>boneheads I coughed up when I was watching a Penn & Teller special
All: AHA!
> (the
>resemblance is there),
Bobo: Except they BOTH had dialogue!
> a chip from the most evil android to permeate the
>extra-fluffy interiors of the Federation,
Obs.: Needs more starch...
> a spaceport with Ferengi in it
>and a complete misunderstanding, and wackiness ensues!
Pearl: Wackiness? Huh, I must have slept through that part.
Obs.: Ah yes, all of the great literary works circulate around wackiness
ensuing.
>
>Don't get me wrong. I like Star Trek, really I do. It's the only genre I
>know that makes me laugh to myself about it's own corniness,
Obs.: This guy hasn't seen some of the cheese we've gotten, then!
> but keeps me
>glued to the set for next week's show. Now I've established my own fan
>status, so don't flame me please! (constructive criticism is always
>welcome!) hawk...@ozemail.com.au
Bobo: Alan Alda, that explains some of this also.
>
>
>
>
>
>****************
>Any wierd spaces in the middle of a word were caused by going
>from dos -> unix and through several types of compression :P
Pearl: And could have been fixed in the same time it took to
write that!
>
>Luke
>--
>=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
> Luke "Grendel"
Obs.: This does sort of remind me of a large, smelly beast.
Bobo: Is that a Grendel in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
> Mason | |\/ \/| |\/ \/|
> ll...@uow.edu.au | -->.<-- VIVAT GRENDEL!! -->.<--
>gre...@rabble.uow.edu.au | \ / \ /
>
>
>
Bobo: Aaaaaand...clear!
[They all get up to leave]
[1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... ...]
[SoL. Pearl and Observer are just standing around.]
Obs.: On the surface that wasn't so bad, but why can't I shake the feeling
that we have just experienced deep hurting?
Pearl: I don't know, but for some reason there is this feeling of...dread.
Obs.: Of course, any time "wackiness ensues" something evil always this way
comes.
[Bobo walks on, wearing a starfleet uniform. Just take a moment, and let
that
mental image sink in...]
Bobo: Hello, Lawgiver, hello pale man.
Pearl: Bobo, what in the name of all that is good and decent...
Obs.: No, I don't think there is anything good or decent about that
outfit...
Bobo: Very funny. See, in the theater today, I got to thinking. You know,
if people can get through Starfleet academy despite kleptomania, and
curiosity to the idiotic level, I figure that I stand a pretty good
chance myself, what being a professor, and part of the line of great Apes
including...
Obs.: Oh shut up, won't you. Next you'll be telling us you are heir to the
throne of Essex!
Bobo: Now look who is being blasphemous! Anyway, I'm off, just as soon as I
hit the mad light...[Mad light starts blinking.]
Obs.: Oh no you don't! [He lunges, we don't quite see who hits the light,
but
the scene shifts to the castle.]
[CF]
Dr.F: So, mother, I see that we survived today's little gauntlet of pain.
[SoL]
Pearl: [Trying to break up the fight] I have no son!
[CF]
Ortega: Murnlph werunplerit frundle! Schnuck schnuck!
Mike: Funny one there.
Dr.F: Oh shut up, you know she says that after everything we send her.
Anyway, I think we need to find our next bit of pain for her. So
until next time, mother dearest...Push the button, Mike.
FWIPP!
Ortega: [VO] Murphlenur mplteafg fruntersch! Schnuck schnuck schnuck!
----------------------
Mystery Science Theater 3000, and its related characters and
situations are trademark and copyrighted by Best Brains, Inc.
Star Trek, and all of its names and faces are soul property
of Paramount Pictures. The works MiSTed herein are all
property of their respective authors, none of whom I was able
to make contact with prior to the completion of this work, so
if you know them, I hope they are not too upset.
A KLINGON TERROR was found in the form presented: anonymous.
If anyone has reason why these two people should not be...oops,
wrong speech...
Use of Copyright and Trademark material is meant for entertainment
purposes, and no profit will come the way of this author as a
result of this piece. No infringement on the original copyrights
or trademarks is intended or should be inferred. What can be
inferred is a touch of insanity on the part of this author by
wishing to put Pearl, Observer, and Bobo into the theater.
This MiSTing, and all other completed MiSTings by this author
are also available at http://www.students.wfu.edu/thurdl01 any
feedback is encouraged, and would be appreciated, and can be
emailed to thur...@wfu.edu
As with any other non-typical MiSTing, feedback is appreciated
just that much more. Keep circulating those posts.
----------------------
>"WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?"