David Hines' MSTed Voyager Press Release?
to...@fred.net
Someone asked for David Hines' MSTing of the Voyager Press Release with
the brilliant filk "We Need Breasts". Did someone save it to a site?
--
To...@Fred.Net
http://www.fred.net/tomr
"Yes, the sweeping majesty of young white Republican love."
- "Horror of Party Beach", MST3K #817
Jamie Plummer
In article <5v131v$mr3$1...@news.fred.net>, to...@fred.net ( ) wrote:
>Someone asked for David Hines' MSTing of the Voyager Press Release with
>the brilliant filk "We Need Breasts". Did someone save it to a site?
Doesn't anyone know how to use DejaNews? This two minutes to find. WOuld
have been quicker, but Hines prefers the etymologically unsure "MiSTed" to the
proper "MSTed." :
Subject: MiSTed: Press Release on New Voyager Borg Character
From: dzh...@midway.uchicago.edu (David Hines)
Date: 1997/06/14
Message-Id: <EBr8D...@midway.uchicago.edu>
Newsgroups:
alt.tv.star-trek.voyager,rec.arts.startrek.current,rec.arts.sf.tv,rec.arts.tv.
mst3k.misc
[More Headers]
A stray comment Johnzo made recently has prompted me to return to my
roots. Just remember: it's all his fault.
[ The bridge of the Satellite of Love. Mike, Crow, and Gypsy are
arrayed at stage left, looking at Tom, who is facing them from stage
right. Mike has a styrofoam coffee cup in his hand; another is on
the counter by Crow. Crow and Gypsy have cigarettes (unlit, of
course) dangling from their mouths. ]
TOM: Ahem. Um. [nervously] Hello. My name is Tom, and... and I...
er... what I'm trying to say is...
GYPSY: Go ahead, Tom.
CROW: Yeah, Servo, we ain't got all day. Spit it out.
TOM: I... well... [beat; then, very quickly:] I'm a Trekkie.
ALL: [gasps of horror; stiffening of spines]
[beat]
MIKE: Wait a minute. Tom, we knew that! You've got all the tie-in
novels and the 30th anniversary collectors' edition toilet paper.
CROW &
GYPSY: Oh, yeah. [they relax]
TOM: That's not the real confession. [steels himself] I watch _Voyager_.
ALL: [more fervent gasps of horror]
MIKE: Wait a minute -- we *all* watch _Voyager_. For relief from the
crappy movies we all have to suffer through, remember?
CROW &
GYPSY: Oh, yeah. [they relax again]
CROW: Hey, Mike -- if we watch _Voyager_ to unwind after watching the
crappiest of the crappy, then why the heck did we sit through
"Favorite Son"?
MIKE: I thought it was _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_.
GYPSY: That's understandable.
TOM: That's not the real confession! The real confession is that I want
_Voyager_ to get better! I want to see a great show! I want the
Trek dynasty to go strong for another thirty years! [beat] Is that
wrong?
MIKE: That's not so bad, Tom. Lots of people want things. Like, I want to
see my family again.
GYPSY: Sometimes I want Belgian waffles!
CROW: I want to set up Lisa Klink on a blind date with Stephen Ratliff.
TOM: Oh, that's just peachy. What would their kid be like?
CROW: I don't know for sure, but I'm betting on a combination of Kevin J.
Anderson and Lee Goldberg.
ALL: Ewwwwwww.
[light flashes]
MIKE: Hey, look -- the She-Wolf of London is calling. [he snaps the com on]
Pearl Forrester is revealed on board a Borg ship. A male Borg -- really,
really beefcake, wearing only a codpiece best left to the imagination of
H.R. Giger -- is rubbing her shoulders. Bobo and the Observer are visible
behind her. They're both paler than usual, which is understandable, as
they're plugged into the wall and in the process of getting Borgified.
PEARL: A little to the left. [the Borg complies] Ohhh. So, you boys
like _Voyager_, do you?
MIKE: Well, actually, only Tom, and even *he* --
PEARL: Never mind. You're getting a press release about a _Voyager_ cast
change. Enjoy. [com channel closes]
MIKE: Huh.
TOM: Um... Mike, weren't those Borg?
MIKE: I think so.
TOM: Shouldn't we warn 'em or something?
MIKE: Nah. It's the Borg who should be worried.
TOM: [surprised] What, you thought I meant we should warn *Forrester?*
[siren goes off]
MIKE: Oh, no! PRESS RELEASE SIGN!
[Door sequence]
[They enter the theater]
TOM: Movie sign, fanfic sign, John_-_Winston sign, now press release
sign? How do you tell 'em apart?
MIKE: Ten signs. All of family sign. Only slight differences in
light and sirens.
CROW: Signs, signs... *everywhere* the signs...
TOM: Are you guys worried about the casting change?
MIKE: Nah. We've heard the rumors; we know it's coming. How bad could
it be?
> NEW CAST MEMBER JOINS UPN's "STAR TREK: VOYAGER" -- Actress Jeri
> Ryan Portrays Provocative Female Borg --
CROW: Uh-oh.
TOM: "Provocative Female Borg?" I call Deep Hurting.
CROW: I call it first.
TOM: No you don't!
> LOS ANGELES, Tuesday, June 10, 1997. . .
MIKE: [hums DRAGNET theme]
> An intriguing new
CROW: ratings stunt!
> character will join the cast of UPN's popular series
TOM: They have one?
MIKE: _Moesha_.
TOM: Oh, yeah.
> "Star Trek:
> Voyager," it was announced today at the network's annual Affiliate
> Meeting by Mike Sullivan, president, entertainment, UPN.
TOM: He went on to say, "Frankly, we're desperate, and we'll do anything
to salvage this show short of hiring some actual writers."
> Actress Jeri Ryan portrays a striking, young female Borg,
MIKE: Man. They're not even bothering to *hide* the demographic they're
going for, are they?
> "Seven of Nine," who is
CROW: Hot. She's hot. That's all you viewers care about, isn't it?
TOM: They sure hope so.
> brought aboard the Federation starship when her ties to the Collective
> are severed.
MIKE: [stoner] "Wow, man... the 'rents kicked me out of the house. Can I
crash on your couch?"
CROW: [Janeway] "No, but I think we can realign the positive matrix of
the warp core and reinject the plasma ventriculators enough to
make a pretty comfy futon."
TOM: [shuddering] *Never* do that again.
> In making the announcement, Mr. Sullivan commented, "We feel that
> the new female Borg character will inject a dynamic energy
ALL: [coughing]
> into "Voyager" as it continues to boldly go
TOM: Into the ratings dumper.
> where no one has gone before."
MIKE: Next season, Janeway invents a scientific test for finding
witches.
CROW: While Torres has to reinstall the warp manifolds using only a
herring!
> Regarding the new character, the series creator and executive
> producer, Rick Berman, commented,
CROW: [Berman] "I've got my sweet production deal; I don't give a rat's
ass about quality any more!"
> "Seven of Nine' was a human
> assimilated by the Borg as a young girl, but once Captain Janeway
> severs her connections to the Collective, she is forced to stay on
> Voyager and adapt to human society.
ALL: [moans]
TOM: Oh, look: they're doing a new take on the holodoc's reinterpretation
of the issues explored by Odo and Hugh and Worf and Data and Spock.
CROW: Been there. Done that. Bought the four _TV Guide_ commemorative
covers. Put them in a cheap frame and sold them to a Trekkie for
a 400% profit.
MIKE: You have no shame.
CROW: Neither does Paramount.
> She should provide us with countless new storylines."
CROW: [Berman] "Ghod knows the writers haven't!"
> The unconventional character, "Seven of Nine,"
TOM: [Frank-N-Furter] "Good evening, my unconventional conventionalists!"
[the others applaud politely]
> will be introduced
> in the season premiere episode, "Scorpion, Part II." By the second
> episode of the season, "The Gift," the character will begin her
> transformation.
TOM: [very seriously] If she turns into a newt, I'm gonna kick somebody's
butt.
> Now detached from the Collective, she begins to take
> on a more human appearance, revealing a sensual creature
TOM: Mike? I'm frightened.
CROW: This is gonna be just like the _Baywatch Nights_ episode that was
a tribute to _Sliders_'s rip-off of _Species_, isn't it?
> neither fully
MIKE: clothed...
> Borg nor fully human. This unpredictable, alluring new series regular
TOM: Have we mentioned that she's hot?
> will prove a daily challenge to Captain Janeway and her crew as they
> try to help her rediscover humanity.
TOM: Of course, Paris has his *own* methods in mind. That wacky horndog!
CROW: [falsetto] "What is this human emotion you call love?"
MIKE: [Paris] "It's the best darn thing in the whole universe,
except for cough drops."
> Jeri Ryan is no stranger to the world of sci-fi. She is a former
> series regular on "Dark Skies."
MIKE: [singing] "All she said was 'Call me Juliet.'"
TOM: Whoo! Now *that's* obscure!
> In addition, she guest starred on
> "Melrose Place," "Murder, She Wrote," "Matlock"
CROW: [Grandpa Simpson] I'm old. I don't like anything but _Matlock_
-- hey, it's on now!
>and "Diagnosis Murder"
TOM: Wow! A Lee Goldberg connection!
> and appeared in the made-for-television movies "Nightmare in Columbia
> County" and "In the Line of Fire: Ambush in Waco." Her feature film
> credits include "The Last Man"
TOM: "He was the last man on earth. He was the last man on earth and he
howled. The hills, the valleys, the mountains and streams were his,
and he howled."
MIKE: That's bester than any reference we've made in this MiSTing.
CROW: And that pun was worster than any we've made, *ever.* Owch.
> and "Men Cry Bullets."
ALL: [guffaws]
CROW: Maybe in Texas, or in John Woo movies.
> A graduate of
> Northwestern University and a mother of a young son, Ms. Ryan
TOM: Is going to have harsh words with her agent shortly.
> splits
> her time between Los Angeles and Chicago where her husband, an
> investment banker, resides.
>
> "Star Trek: Voyager" stars Kate Mulgrew as
MIKE: The woefully incompetent, sorely misused...
> Captain Kathryn Janeway, Robert Beltran as
TOM: The beefy yet strangely magnetic...
> First Officer Chakotay, Roxann Dawson as
CROW: The T&A, lately.
> Chief Engineer B'Elanna Torres, Jennifer Lien as Kes,
MIKE: Not for long.
TOM: Run, Jennifer! Run while you can!
> Robert Duncan McNeill as Lt. Tom Paris,
MIKE: Who gives every crummy script the old college try.
> Ethan Phillips as Neelix,
TOM: Let it be said that I have nothing against Ethan Phillips personally,
and that I don't think he's a horrible actor. You guys get that?
MIKE: Yeah.
CROW: Loud and clear.
TOM: Good. [beat] ARRRGHH!!! I hate Neelix! Kill him! Killhimkillhim
killhim! Gouge out his eyes with a cattle prod, pull out his
intestines through his nostrils, hack him to little bits with a pair
of really dull scissors, break his fingers, pull out his nails,
hobble him, break him on the wheel or the rack or under Chinese
Water Torture, tie him to a chair and set Lawrence Olivier on his
teeth, put him through re-entry without a ship, throw him into a
warp core... ANYTHING. Just wax him! Turn him into a grease spot
with sideburns! Make him dead, dead, DEAD!
CROW: Seconded.
MIKE: Thirded. [beat] You okay, Tom?
TOM: [who is still shaking with rage] Yeah. I just hate Neelix.
CROW: We know.
> Robert Picardo as The Doctor,
ALL: [applause]
MIKE: Above and beyond the call of duty. Why he doesn't cut and run is
beyond me.
CROW: My money says they've got him chained to the soundstage.
> Tim Russ as Tactical/Security Officer Tuvok,
CROW: [Russ] "This is not logical."
TOM: [heartily] "Great delivery! Just like that when we shoot."
CROW: [Russ] "I was referring to the script."
> Garrett Wang as Ops/Com Officer Harry Kim
MIKE: Spank me, Harry!
CROW: And me!
TOM: And me!
GYPSY: [who has entered unnoticed at the far left] AND ME!
Gypsy exits.
TOM: Um... guys, what was that?
CROW: There are some things about Gypsy that I don't want to know.
> and Jeri Ryan as Seven of Nine.
TOM: To reiterate the major point of this press release: she's hot.
MIKE: We repeat, she's hot.
CROW: Very alluring, ya.
> Rick Berman and Jeri Taylor are the executive producers. The
> series, based on "Star Trek" created by Gene Roddenberry, was created
> by Rick Berman, Jeri Taylor and Michael Piller. "Star Trek: Voyager"
> is a production of Paramount Network Television for broadcast on UPN.
> The Paramount Station Group is part of the entertainment operations of
> Viacom, Inc.
CROW: And once again: the new Borg is *hot!*
[They get up]
[Through the doors]
[Back on the bridge of the Satellite of Love]
CROW: Well. That was certainly... er, something.
MIKE: It's not all bad. Maybe she'll be... you know, really hot.
TOM: So alluring that we don't notice the problems with the scripts?
MIKE: I guess that's the idea.
CROW: Nothing ensures success in SFTV like gorgeous women. Remember
how much the fans loved "Favorite Son," and "He Who Is Without
Sin," and the second season of _SeaQuest_?
TOM: And the replacement of John Rhys-Davies with Kari Wuhrer really
helped _Sliders_'s popularity. Face it, Mike, they could
cast Joan Chen, Jamie Lee Curtis, Nicole Kidman and the Creepy
Girl; _Voyager_ would *still* be lame.
MIKE: I guess you're right... but it's kind of depressing. Yeah,
TOS had lots of skimpy costumes, but they didn't rely on
them to keep the viewers watching.
CROW: I really wonder how they decided to pile on the T&A. You think
they had a meeting about it?
MIKE: Probably. I wonder what it was like...
TOM: I think I know.
MIKE: Start us off, then.
TOM: Okay. Just a second.
Tom exits. He re-enters immediately in suit and tie.
TOM: Ahem. Mesdames et messieurs, ladies and gentlemen, and producers --
it is with the deepest urgency that I assemble you tonight, to
discuss a matter of great importance to us all: how to inflate
our sagging ratings.
[ Suddenly music, namely "Be Our Guest" from Disney's _Beauty and the
Beast_, swells. Cambot zooms in on Tom, who begins to sing:]
TOM: We... need... breasts, we need breasts
to allure and to impress;
to be bouncing in an epic -- dare I say it? -- jiggle-fest!
Our stories -- they're not gripping;
so our fan base has been slipping
and the suits are growing frantic, 'cause they need the demographic
males eighteen to thirty-four -- they're not watching? Let's show more!
Start an endless cavalcade of female flesh.
They'll tune in every night if the costumes are tight
to see some breasts, see some breasts, see some breasts.
[ Cambot pulls back, revealing Crow and Mike -- both clad in suits and
ties. Crow is bobbing his head in time, and then begins to sing.]
CROW: Skimpy clothes, negligees,
push-up bras and bustiers;
bosoms bare will swell our share and make our Neilsen ratings raise;
Bosoms big, bosoms small, but huge breasts are best of all
Our show will be better rated if the cast is well-inflated!
Push 'em up, push 'em out --
What's the fans' big fuss about?
Don't they want the show to be a big success?
So the script's sub-par -- hey, it's got Pon Farr!
If you're stressed, you're repressed
and you don't like heaving chests;
but we love breasts; we need breasts; show some breasts.
TOM: [mournfully]
Our ratings should be bitchin', but we can't beat the competition;
though we used to lead the Neilsens with aplomb.
TNG once was king of syndication;
on UPN, _Star Trek_'s almost a bomb.
DS9 is going; to keep the cash cow's green milk flowing
we have to boost the new show's ratings some damn way.
And from on high there came the revelation:
[peppy again]
if you want the Neilsen rank up, put Kate Mulgrew in a tank top!
MIKE: Lots of breasts, lots of breasts
-- heck, why bother with the rest?
just appeal with fervent zeal to the old infantile complex.
We need tits, we need ass
write good scripts? -- nah, that won't pass!
To increase the Neilsen talley, shoot on location: Silicone Valley.
Screw the fans; they're too snide -- just buy space in _TV Guide_;
turn the show into a titillation-fest.
Publicize that, too (five covers ought to do)
and show some breasts, lots of breasts, heaving breasts.
[Cambot zooms in on Tom again; Mike and Crow vanish from our POV.]
TOM: Here's to breasts, here's to breasts
may they lead us to success
Because our jobs are on the line and we're becoming mighty stressed.
So each day we tell our chiders
this stuff really worked for _Sliders_
as we cater to the fevered lust for breasts un-cantilevered...
[ Cambot pulls back, revealing Mike and Crow wearing padded bras. They
make feeble attempts to high kick in unison. It isn't pretty.]
TOM: Tit by tit, bun by bun
'till we're back to number one
But until then with the ratings we're obsessed.
If things get more unglued...
why, then we'll just film nude!
Come on, breasts; save us, breasts; here's to breasts!
Oh, please, see our breasts!
Streamers fall from the ceiling. Crow gives one last attempt at a high
kick and falls over. Mike's falsies spill out onto the countertop.
MIKE: [breathing heavily] I gotta say it -- what do you think, sirs and
madam?
[On the Borg ship]
PEARL: Nice song, Mike, but Manischewitz Passover wine has a better
kick than you. Keep practicing. [to the Borg] Well, thanks
for the backrub, sixty of nine, but I've got to be going.
How do I unplug Bobo and the Observer?
BORG: You do not. Backrubs are irrelevant. You will be assimilated.
PEARL: Sorry, hon. Fear of committment. [She unplugs Bobo and the
Observer, who stagger to their feet.]
BORG: Committment is irrelevant. You will be assimilated.
PEARL: Finally, a man who understands how I feel about relationships! [to
Bobo and the Observer] Come on, you two.
[SOL]
TOM: Unreal. Do you think they'll actually get away?
CROW: Maybe they'll get to their ship. But it ain't going far.
MIKE: Bet you a RAM chip.
CROW: Oh, you are *so* on.
TOM: Can I have a piece of that? I'm with Mike.
CROW: Suckers. I can taste those RAM chips already.
[Space]
The VW flies out of the Borg cube.
[On board the VW]
PEARL: That's strange. We shouldn't be accelerating this quickly. We've
lost mass somehow...
BOBO: Um... madam, I don't mean to intrude, but... I thought it would be
best to lighten the ship, so we could leave as quickly as possible...
so I left some of our nukes on the Borg cube.
PEARL: Nukes? How many nukes?
BOBO: Well... twenty. But they were only teeny little A-bombs, honest!
PEARL: Oh, very uplifting. Let's make space tracks!
[ EXT. - SPACE: The VW races away from the Borg cube, which explodes]
[The SOL]
The crew is staring slackjawed.
CROW: The Borg. Poor, trusting fools.
TOM: We should've warned 'em.
MIKE: Two RAM chips, Crow. Pay up.
[The VW]
PEARL: Nice job, Bobo. Real nice. As a reward, you get to push that
button.
BOBO: Oh! Oh, thank you, madam! [He presses it; the picture zaps out.]
That was fun!
We hear him press the button again; the picture comes back. He presses
the button several more times, causing the picture to flicker on and off:
VW, black, VW, black... etc. The last time he pushes it, we hear
a terrible WHACK. The picture stays off.
BOBO: [sullenly] Ow.
PEARL: Shut up, Bobo.
Credits:
Original post: a Paramount press release, written by some nameless flunky,
courteously posted by Lee Whiteside. MiSTing by David Hines, with one
joke shamelessly ripped off from Mike Barklage. All ruthless personal
attacks are meant in good clean fun, and I want to make special mention
of the fact that I feel very, very, very sorry for the cast of _Voyager_,
all of whom deserve better. (Jeri Ryan has no clue what she's
getting into, poor woman.)
--------------------------------------------------------------------
| David Hines d-h...@uchicago.edu |
| http://student-www.uchicago.edu/users/dzhines |
====================================================================
> Now detached from the Collective, she begins to take on
> a more human appearance, revealing a sensual creature neither fully
> Borg nor fully human. This unpredictable, alluring new series regular
> will prove a daily challenge to Captain Janeway and her crew as they
> try to help her rediscover humanity.
Jamie Plummer jcp9j SPAM BLOCK @ virginia.edu
[I've finally given up. My address is no longer in USENET headers. Damn spam.]
http://wsrv.clas.virginia.edu/~jcp9j
"I am NOT Montel Williams!" -- Det. Munch
Jamie Plummer
In article <EG7Dw...@midway.uchicago.edu>,
dzh...@midway.uchicago.edu (David Hines) wrote:
>
>In article <EG746...@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU>, Jamie Plummer wrote:
>> Hines prefers the etymologically unsure "MiSTed" to the
>> proper "MSTed."
>
>Hey, I discovered *Ratliff.* I'm entitled to spell it any way I *want.*
>
You say that as if discovering Ratliff was a *good* thing.
(BTW, how the hell did you that?)
Thomas McCambley
(to...@fred.net) writes:
> Someone asked for David Hines' MSTing of the Voyager Press Release with
> the brilliant filk "We Need Breasts". Did someone save it to a site?
No but I saved it to a hard drive. :-) Here it is.
[Door sequence]
[They enter the theater]
MIKE: [hums DRAGNET theme]
> An intriguing new
CROW: ratings stunt!
ALL: [coughing]
> neither fully
MIKE: clothed...
>and "Diagnosis Murder"
> and "Men Cry Bullets."
CROW: The T&A, lately.
> Ethan Phillips as Neelix,
Gypsy exits.
[They get up]
[Through the doors]
[On the Borg ship]
[SOL]
[Space]
[On board the VW]
[The SOL]
[The VW]
Credits:
--
"A lot of goofing around, laughter, hanging out, and BSing, big
political arguments usually involving me (moderate to left), Jerry
(slightly to the right of Attila the Hun), and Jason (acting representative
from Mars)." --JMS describing lunch time on the Babylon 5 set
-------------------------------
h=HELP, q=quit, c=contribute(post), f=follow-up(post), r=reply(email)
--
at...@freenet.carleton.ca -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= mcca...@algonquinc.on.ca
Tom McCambley B.Sc (Hons) NCF Babylon 5/Star Wars SIG Guru <*>
Babylon 5 "Zen and the Art of Procrastination" Whovian
Fan at large http://www.ncf.carleton.ca/~at850/index.html Gearhead
David Hines
In article <EG746...@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU>, Jamie Plummer wrote:
> Hines prefers the etymologically unsure "MiSTed" to the
> proper "MSTed."
Hey, I discovered *Ratliff.* I'm entitled to spell it any way I *want.*
Humph. Young whippersnapper.
(Just saw a post from juliewa... wow, it's *really* like old times here.)
Stephen Ratliff
David Hines (dzh...@midway.uchicago.edu) wrote:
:
: In article <EG746...@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU>, Jamie Plummer wrote:
: > Hines prefers the etymologically unsure "MiSTed" to the
: > proper "MSTed."
:
: Hey, I discovered *Ratliff.* I'm entitled to spell it any way I *want.*
Yes Ladies and Gentlemen, he is entitled. After all he read and re-read
my first attempts a posting and found new and exciting ways to comment
on them (ironically, no one told me that I had problems with my works
until 2 years later... by then it was too late. Remember, if you all
had spoken up, I probably would have stopped after Cadet Cruise)
:
: Humph. Young whippersnapper.
What do they teach at these schools now days ...
Stephen Ratliff, who looking back, pities those who read the first
versions of his first five works, and anyone who read Time Speeder.
--
Stephen Ratliff CS Major, Radford University.
srat...@runet.edu Radford, Virginia 24142-7496
rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc's polite target. Marrissa Stories Author
http://www.cs.runet.edu/~sratliff/
FAQ Maintainer for alt.startrek.creative FAQs/
Index Maintainer as well index/
http://aviary.share.net/~alara/
"We better get use to living in the here and now"
- Captain Racheal Garrett, ST:TNG "Yesterday's Enterprise
David Hines
In article <EG7pM...@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU>,
Jamie "Yoda" Plummer <jcp9j!@virginia.edu> wrote:
>
>You say that as if discovering Ratliff was a *good* thing.
>(BTW, how the hell did you that?)
Easy.
1) Read alt.startrek.creative.
2) Find someone nobody else could *stand* to MiST.
3) Suffer.
David Hines
In article <5v23ln$q...@newslink.runet.edu>,
Stephen Ratliff <srat...@runet.edu> wrote:
>[. . .] if you all
>had spoken up, I probably would have stopped after Cadet Cruise)
Oh, *great.* NOW he tells us.
(BTW, Steve, if you're still looking for potables, I'll be happy to
buy you something some time. After all, it's the least I can do
for you in exchange for your giving me countless hours of... um,
torment.)
to...@fred.net
David Hines (dzh...@midway.uchicago.edu) wrote:
: In article <5v23ln$q...@newslink.runet.edu>,
: Stephen Ratliff <srat...@runet.edu> wrote:
: >[. . .] if you all
: >had spoken up, I probably would have stopped after Cadet Cruise)
:
: Oh, *great.* NOW he tells us.
BTW, Thanks for posting, but I *already* looked in Altavista and Dejanews
and couldn't find it. It was actually a request from another Usenet group
(sigh....)
--
To...@Fred.Net
http://www.fred.net/tomr
"Yes, the sweeping majesty of young white Republican love."
- "Horror of Party Beach", MST3K #817
Jonah13NYC
>>Someone asked for David Hines' MSTing of the Voyager Press Release with
>>the brilliant filk "We Need Breasts". Did someone save it to a site?
So, when are WE, as a NATION OF MSTies, DEMAND Sci-Fi Net and BBI do "Mars
Needs Women"?
I don't think Larry Buchanan has fully gotten his just desserts for "Free,
White and 21" and other shlock films. And you can't insult Tommy Kirk
enough times.
Jonah Falcon
http://members.aol.com/jonah13nyc/index.html (try it! you'll like it!)
Mike Sphar
I gotta admit, the "We Need Breasts" song is hilarious. Mercifully, I've
never seen Beauty & the Beast, so instead I imagined it to the tune of "See
My Vest", another hilarious song.
Speaking of B&tB, I saw a commercial for some new B&tB Christmas video or
something. All I have to say to that is: BUT I THOUGHT HE WASN'T A BEAST
ANYMORE!!!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mikey "Dreamy" Sphar MSTie# 24294 mi...@matches.com
Sun-certified Solaris 2.X Administrator - Microsoft-certified NT Specialist
Pub-certified Beer Enthusiast
http://www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Sands/5882
TCurryFan
"mi...@matches.com (Mike Sphar)" said:
>I gotta admit, the "We Need Breasts" song is hilarious.
>Mercifully, I've never seen Beauty & the Beast, so instead I
>imagined it to the tune of "See My Vest", another hilarious song.
B&tB was done back when Disney was still making good movies (_Toy_Story_
was the last of those, IMO). I think it's an awesome movie, myself.
>Speaking of B&tB, I saw a commercial for some new B&tB
>Christmas video or something. All I have to say to that is: BUT I
>THOUGHT HE WASN'T A BEAST ANYMORE!!!!
He's not. They're making another B&tB movie? Oh, God...
B&tB was good, but it has no need for a sequel, nor should it have one.
"For cryin' out loud... EACH... OF... YOU... WILL... ENTER... A...
SPACE... CAPSULE!!"
-Tom Servo, _Mystery_Science_Theater_3000_, "Prince of Space"
Catherine Johnson ---------- MiSTie #75,125 ---------- TCur...@aol.com
RWlkrSmith
Mikey said
>>I gotta admit, the "We Need Breasts" song is hilarious.
I printed that puppy out and passed it around to
netless friends.
Now that 7 o' 9 is actually on the air, the humor takes on
a chilling, gallows feel.
"Did we mention she's *hot*?"
Mike Barklage
tcur...@aol.com (TCurryFan) writes:
>B&tB was done back when Disney was still making good movies (_Toy_Story_
>was the last of those, IMO).
And, of course, _Toy Story_ wasn't Disney. It was Pixar, which Disney
bought and provided distribution and marketing for the movie.
Pixar's next movie, _Bugs_, is coming soon, but I'm not sure when.
Mike Barklage
bark...@ucsu.colorado.edu -- MSTie #19634 -- http://rtt.colorado.edu/~barklage
"The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."
-- Mark Twain
A,A,M&K
On 12 Sep 1997 07:49:12 GMT, tcur...@aol.com (TCurryFan) wrote:
>"mi...@matches.com (Mike Sphar)" said:
>
>>I gotta admit, the "We Need Breasts" song is hilarious.
>>Mercifully, I've never seen Beauty & the Beast, so instead I
>>imagined it to the tune of "See My Vest", another hilarious song.
>
>B&tB was done back when Disney was still making good movies (_Toy_Story_
>was the last of those, IMO). I think it's an awesome movie, myself.
>
("I'll snip." "No, I'm sorry, there's no time.")
Actually, "Hercules" was pretty good, better than the commercials made
it seem. "Anistasia" sounds good, too. But, as always, YMMV.
>"For cryin' out loud... EACH... OF... YOU... WILL... ENTER... A...
>SPACE... CAPSULE!!"
> -Tom Servo, _Mystery_Science_Theater_3000_, "Prince of Space"
>Catherine Johnson ---------- MiSTie #75,125 ---------- TCur...@aol.com
Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" Perron vs. Ermac-FIGHT!
TCurryFan
"aam...@snip.net (A,A,M&K)" said:
>On 12 Sep 1997 07:49:12 GMT, tcur...@aol.com (TCurryFan)
> wrote:
>
>>"mi...@matches.com (Mike Sphar)" said:
>>
>>>I gotta admit, the "We Need Breasts" song is hilarious.
>>>Mercifully, I've never seen Beauty & the Beast, so instead I
>>>imagined it to the tune of "See My Vest", another hilarious
>>>song.
>>
>>B&tB was done back when Disney was still making good movies
>>(_Toy_Story_ was the last of those, IMO). I think it's an
>>awesome movie, myself.
>
>Actually, "Hercules" was pretty good, better than the commercials
>made it seem.
Ok. I haven't seen it.
>"Anistasia" sounds good, too. But, as always, YMMV.
Ok. But _Anastasia_ is a FOX production, not Disney.
Mike Sphar
Did Ancient Astronauts named bark...@ucsu.Colorado.EDU (Mike Barklage)
once write the following? Read the book:
>And, of course, _Toy Story_ wasn't Disney. It was Pixar, which Disney
>bought and provided distribution and marketing for the movie.
>
>Pixar's next movie, _Bugs_, is coming soon, but I'm not sure when.
I wonder how long Pixar will last before it's affiliation with Steve Jobs
seals its doom.
Carl Burke
RWlkrSmith wrote:
...
> Now that 7 o' 9 is actually on the air, the humor takes on
> a chilling, gallows feel.
>
> "Did we mention she's *hot*?"
Too little, too late to save Voyager.
The ratings show that nobody really cares anymore.
But based on the picture in TV Guide, she _is_ hot.
Guess they felt the need to keep babe parity with Kes leaving.
--
Barcode, waiting eagerly for new B5
--------------------------------------------------
Carl Burke, cbu...@mitre.org -- Morde me, iuvat
My opinions are mine and mine alone, unless you
agree with them. Then I'll share.
--------------------------------------------------
Brian E Clough
On Fri, 12 Sep 1997 07:29:21 GMT, mi...@matches.com (Mike Sphar)
wrote:
>I gotta admit, the "We Need Breasts" song is hilarious. Mercifully, I've
>never seen Beauty & the Beast, so instead I imagined it to the tune of "See
>My Vest", another hilarious song.
>
The thing that truly amazed me about the original "Be Our Guest" was
that it was sung by Jerry Orbach of Law & Order.
Still David's MSTing was one of the funniest thing I have ever read.
It holds a special place in the MST3K folder on my Hard Drive, right
along side the 1.3Mb wav of the Creepy Girl song.
Roger M. Wilcox
In article <341D84...@mitre.org>,
Carl Burke <cbu...@mitre.org> wrote:
>
[ re: everybody's favorite Borg of nine]
>
> But based on the picture in TV Guide, she _is_ hot.
> Guess they felt the need to keep babe parity with Kes leaving.
First the Borg Queen in _First Contact_, now 7-of-9 on _Voyager_.
I gotta ask: Do ALL female Borg _saunter_?!
> --
> Barcode, waiting eagerly for new B5
Do they know who's replacing Claudia Christian yet?
--
rog...@ix.netcom.com (Roger M. Wilcox) -- without prejudice UCC 1-207
Unlawful to use this email address for unsolicited ads: 47 USC 227
MSTie #38808 | http://www.netcom.com/~rogermw ... now in new EXTRA bold!
<*> | "The truth, as always, is more complicated than that."
-------------------==== Posted via Deja News ====-----------------------
http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Post to Usenet
Roger M. Wilcox
In article <barklage....@ucsu.Colorado.EDU>,
bark...@ucsu.Colorado.EDU (Mike Barklage) wrote:
>
> Pixar's next movie, _Bugs_, is coming soon, but I'm not sure when.
_Bugs_?
Sounds like _Starship Troopers_.
Roger M. "The Heinlein novel, not the movie" Wilcox
Roger M. Wilcox
In article <341c7d48...@news.snip.net>,
aam...@snip.net (A,A,M&K) wrote:
>
> On 12 Sep 1997 07:49:12 GMT, tcur...@aol.com (TCurryFan) wrote:
> >
> >B&tB was done back when Disney was still making good movies (_Toy_Story_
> >was the last of those, IMO). I think it's an awesome movie, myself.
>
> Actually, "Hercules" was pretty good, better than the commercials made
> it seem.
IN THE REAL HERACLES MYTH
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*) The Titans were merely the generation of immortals that preceded
the Gods. The Chief Titan was named Cronos (his Roman name was Saturn).
He got dethroned (and in some myths castrated) by his son Zeus, and
never ever resurfaced.
*) Hades (a.k.a. Pluto) was indeed the god of the Underworld, but he
never had any aspirations to dethrone Zeus. (Not any more than any
of the other gods had, anyway.)
*) Zeus and Hera were essentially an arranged marriage. *She* was the
Goddess of Fidelity, and *he* was an incredibly promiscuous Chief God.
*) Heracles's natural mother was Alcmena, a mortal woman whom Zeus
got it on with. (To sneak past Hera's suspicious eyes, he disguised
himself as a golden shower [no, really] when he went down to Earth.)
Hence, Heracles was literally a demi-god -- one parent was a god, the
other was a human being.
*) Hera eventually found out that Heracles was Zeus's son, and became
responsible for most of the hardships Heracles had to endure during
his lifetime.
*) Heracles' first wife was Megara. One day, he mistook her and their
3 children for wild animals and killed them all.
*) Heracles sired no less than 52 children from 50 women.
*) In the end, Heracles was killed by a poisoned shirt sent from Nessus.
Just before he died, Heracles angrily hurled the shirt-delivery-boy
off a cliff.
IN DISNEY'S _HERCULES_
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*) The Titans were Evil Creatures [TM] vanquished by the heroic hand
of Zeus.
*) Zeus and Hera were happily married without a care in the world. Hera
was Hercules' natural mother. Zeus never so much as looked at another
woman.
*) Hades got confused with Satan somehow, with the power to buy "souls"
and the desire to overthrow the Ruler of Heaven-- er, Olympus.
*) Hercules' demi-godhood was bestowed by a Potion of Remove Godhood.
He had to do something "truly heroic" to get his full godhood back.
*) Alcmena Kent and Jonathan Kent found little baby Hercules in a wheat
field where his rocketship crashed to Earth, after narrowly escaping
the destruction of his home planet Krypton.
*) Hercules was a one-woman kind of guy, who never ever mistook women
and children for wild animals.
Norb
In the margins of Bullfinch's,
rog...@ix.netcom.com (Roger M. Wilcox) writes:
> *) Heracles's natural mother was Alcmena, a mortal woman whom Zeus
> got it on with. (To sneak past Hera's suspicious eyes, he disguised
> himself as a golden shower [no, really] when he went down to Earth.)
> Hence, Heracles was literally a demi-god -- one parent was a god, the
> other was a human being.
Right god, wrong fling. Zeus appeared as a golden shower to Perseus'
mother, if I remember correctly (yeah, it only seems weird now that I
think about it). To get in good with Heracles' mother, he turned into
an exact duplicate of her husband, like that janitor on "The X-Files".
Norb
Except that Hercules turned out really strong and stuff, instead of
having a tail. If you've got to be the bastard of a shape-shifting
philanderer, go with the King of the Gods rather than Darin Morgan.
A,A,M&K
>In article <341c7d48...@news.snip.net>,
> aam...@snip.net (A,A,M&K) wrote:
>>
>> On 12 Sep 1997 07:49:12 GMT, tcur...@aol.com (TCurryFan) wrote:
>> >
>> >B&tB was done back when Disney was still making good movies (_Toy_Story_
>> >was the last of those, IMO). I think it's an awesome movie, myself.
>>
>> Actually, "Hercules" was pretty good, better than the commercials made
>> it seem.
>
>
(snippage of myth correction)
Yeah, I know. But it really wasn't that bad, considering. The worst
parts were the Titans and the whole Hades-as-bad-guy thing. It was
actually a pretty good story. But as always, YMMV.
>
>
>--
>rog...@ix.netcom.com (Roger M. Wilcox) -- without prejudice UCC 1-207
>Unlawful to use this email address for unsolicited ads: 47 USC 227
>MSTie #38808 | http://www.netcom.com/~rogermw ... now in new EXTRA bold!
> <*> | "The truth, as always, is more complicated than that."
>
>-------------------==== Posted via Deja News ====-----------------------
> http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Post to Usenet
Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" Perron as NO .SIG CLIPPING MAN.
Roger M. Wilcox
In article <607c99$bv8$1...@sun5.vassar.edu>,
No...@vassar.edu (Norb) wrote:
>
> In the margins of Bullfinch's,
> rog...@ix.netcom.com (Roger M. Wilcox) writes:
>
> > *) Heracles's natural mother was Alcmena, a mortal woman whom Zeus
> > got it on with. (To sneak past Hera's suspicious eyes, he disguised
> > himself as a golden shower [no, really] when he went down to Earth.)
>
> mother, if I remember correctly (yeah, it only seems weird now that I
> think about it). To get in good with Heracles' mother, he turned into
> an exact duplicate of her husband, like that janitor on "The X-Files".
Really?
Drat.
My consarned Dictionary of Classical Mythology musta got it wrong.
Whose mother was it that Zeus seduced by turning into a bull?
Roger M. Wilcox, reminding you of the wisdom of Tom Lehrer, who said
there is nothing so frightening as facing down half
a ton of angry pot-roast.
--
rog...@ix.netcom.com (Roger M. Wilcox) -- without prejudice UCC 1-207
I'm not flying fast, just orbiting low. Oh, and I'm sodium.
David P Benjamin
Roger M. Wilcox (rog...@ix.netcom.com) wrote:
: > --
: > Barcode, waiting eagerly for new B5
: Do they know who's replacing Claudia Christian yet?
Tracy Scoggins, formerly Cat on _Lois and Clark_
IMHO, it's a net gain. And I liked Christian.
--
David
http://www.duc.auburn.edu/~benjadp
Spam reported to ISPs and/or US Fraud hotline. Inquire within.
Mandy Shekleton
Norb wrote:
...
> Right god, wrong fling. Zeus appeared as a golden shower to Perseus'
> mother, if I remember correctly (yeah, it only seems weird now that I
> think about it). To get in good with Heracles' mother, he turned into
> an exact duplicate of her husband, like that janitor on "The X-Files".
'Did he have a lightsaber?' I love 'Small Potatoes' to death...
>
> Norb
> Except that Hercules turned out really strong and stuff, instead of
> having a tail. If you've got to be the bastard of a shape-shifting
> philanderer, go with the King of the Gods rather than Darin Morgan.
Well, I don't know about *that*...ya gotta admit, Darin's pretty cool.
:}
Pepper, was in love with him WAY before he won an Emmy.
--
http://members.tripod.com/~feuilly/ yes, it's a homepage... roo hay!
"Me? Who's me? Who - me? Is me meant to reply?" _Martin Guerre_
"Without obsession, life is nothing." John Waters
MST#74493 * COG45 * <psy<cho<tic * Personal Idols Defense Ninja Squad
Chris Gleason
Roger M. Wilcox wrote in article <8750411...@dejanews.com>...
[ALA-KA-ZOT]
>Really?
>Drat.
>My consarned Dictionary of Classical Mythology musta got it wrong.
>
>Whose mother was it that Zeus seduced by turning into a bull?
The Minotaur.
Mino=King Minos
taur=bull
>Roger M. Wilcox, reminding you of the wisdom of Tom Lehrer, who said
> there is nothing so frightening as facing down half
> a ton of angry pot-roast.
Them's words to live by!
=================================================
But I prefer "Never pet a flaming dog.",
Chris Gleason -- The Best Kisser in the Universe!
Baseball fiend, game show junkie, doughy guy.
MSTie #66772 chris...@aol.com
CHECK OUT MY E-COLUMN!
http://members.aol.com/chrisglson/sftg.html
Norb
In article <8750411...@dejanews.com>
rog...@ix.netcom.com (Roger M. Wilcox) writes:
> Really?
> Drat.
> My consarned Dictionary of Classical Mythology musta got it wrong.
>
> Whose mother was it that Zeus seduced by turning into a bull?
I dunno. Europa, I think. It's so hard to keep them all straight.
For a while there, you couldn't walk down Athens without running into
another bastard of Zeus.
Now, of course, he can't get a date for New Year's. Even the Feynman
line doesn't work anymore. . . and "My name is Zeus, Lord of Heaven.
Would you like to have sex?" used to be failsafe.
Norb
Norb
In chapter three of "The Caligari Candidate",
Mandy Shekleton <feu...@mindless.com> writes:
>
> 'Did he have a lightsaber?' I love 'Small Potatoes' to death...
"No, but he sang to me . . ." I've got it on tape now. Watched it in
the dorm TV room Sunday night and scared everyone by laughing
hysterically and shouting, "Go for it, Eddie! Score!"
>
> >
> > Norb
> > Except that Hercules turned out really strong and stuff, instead of
> > having a tail. If you've got to be the bastard of a shape-shifting
> > philanderer, go with the King of the Gods rather than Darin Morgan.
>
> Well, I don't know about *that*...ya gotta admit, Darin's pretty cool.
> :}
A vast understatement. The episodes he appears in are a treat, but
the episodes he _wrote_ are hour-long strings of wonderful lines.
"I've seen the future, and it looks just like *him*!" "Of all the
possible ways to die, I think autoerotic aphyxiation must be the most
humiliating." "We've learned you used to be a dog-faced boy." "It's
funny you should say that, because I always wanted a peg leg." "You
don't play Dungeons and Dragons for as long as I have without learning
a thing or two about courage." "Bleep."
The thing is, I don't even much like the show. Just those half-dozen
episodes.
>
> Pepper, was in love with him WAY before he won an Emmy.
Right on! Let's see if we can get our hands on those "Small Potatoes"
outtakes . . . or am I just being weird now?
Mandy Shekleton
Norb wrote:
> In chapter three of "The Caligari Candidate",
> Mandy Shekleton <feu...@mindless.com> writes:
>
> >
> > 'Did he have a lightsaber?' I love 'Small Potatoes' to death...
>
> "No, but he sang to me . . ." I've got it on tape now. Watched it in
> the dorm TV room Sunday night and scared everyone by laughing
> hysterically and shouting, "Go for it, Eddie! Score!"
'Da daaah da da da daaah daah...' Just about fell out of my chair, then.
> > > Norb
> > > Except that Hercules turned out really strong and stuff, instead of
> > > having a tail. If you've got to be the bastard of a shape-shifting
> > > philanderer, go with the King of the Gods rather than Darin Morgan.
> >
> > Well, I don't know about *that*...ya gotta admit, Darin's pretty cool.
> > :}
>
> A vast understatement. The episodes he appears in are a treat, but
> the episodes he _wrote_ are hour-long strings of wonderful lines.
> "I've seen the future, and it looks just like *him*!" "Of all the
> possible ways to die, I think autoerotic aphyxiation must be the most
> humiliating." "We've learned you used to be a dog-faced boy." "It's
> funny you should say that, because I always wanted a peg leg." "You
> don't play Dungeons and Dragons for as long as I have without learning
> a thing or two about courage." "Bleep."
> The thing is, I don't even much like the show. Just those half-dozen
> episodes.
'Must've been something I ate...' 'This is not happening...this is not
happening...' and now I'm blanking. Oh, well.
I love almost every episode of XF (yes, even the stinky one with the
cult and Shane Vansen), but I love Darin's stuff MORE...
> > Pepper, was in love with him WAY before he won an Emmy.
>
> Right on! Let's see if we can get our hands on those "Small Potatoes"
> outtakes . . . or am I just being weird now?
Yeah! On both counts! We can be weird together! I'm really hyper! I'm
sleep-deprived! Woo-hoo!
Pepper
Mike Sphar
Did Ancient Astronauts named No...@vassar.edu (Norb) once write the
following? Read the book:
>> *) Heracles's natural mother was Alcmena, a mortal woman whom Zeus
>> got it on with. (To sneak past Hera's suspicious eyes, he disguised
>> himself as a golden shower [no, really] when he went down to Earth.)
>> other was a human being.
>
>mother, if I remember correctly (yeah, it only seems weird now that I
>think about it). To get in good with Heracles' mother, he turned into
>an exact duplicate of her husband, like that janitor on "The X-Files".
Or was that when he turned into a swan?
Gotta give a god credit, he certainly did get around.
Mike Sphar
Did Ancient Astronauts named Mandy Shekleton <feu...@mindless.com> once
write the following? Read the book:
>> mother, if I remember correctly (yeah, it only seems weird now that I
>> think about it). To get in good with Heracles' mother, he turned into
>> an exact duplicate of her husband, like that janitor on "The X-Files".
>
My favorite moments are when faux-Mulder finally enters Mulder's apartment
and plays the answering machine.
Mike Sphar
Did Ancient Astronauts named rog...@ix.netcom.com (Roger M. Wilcox) once
write the following? Read the book:
Is that the same woman that later fell in love with a bull and had--um, I
forget his name. The father of Icarus--anyway, she had the guy build a big
cow costume for her to climb in to...um...socialize...with the bull. Later
giving birth to the minotaur.
(And that's *just* where being a size queen will get you!)
Norb
In article <609oim$8...@bgtnsc03.worldnet.att.net>
Mandy Shekleton <feu...@mindless.com> writes:
> 'Must've been something I ate...' 'This is not happening...this is not
> happening...' and now I'm blanking. Oh, well.
> I love almost every episode of XF (yes, even the stinky one with the
> cult and Shane Vansen), but I love Darin's stuff MORE...
I stopped at a Kentucky Fried Chicken awhile back, and just stood at
the counter, laughing and laughing, because they sold individual slices
of sweet potato pie.
>
> > > Pepper, was in love with him WAY before he won an Emmy.
> >
> > Right on! Let's see if we can get our hands on those "Small Potatoes"
> > outtakes . . . or am I just being weird now?
>
> Yeah! On both counts! We can be weird together! I'm really hyper! I'm
> sleep-deprived! Woo-hoo!
Oh, yeah. Sleep. That's the thing I forfeit so I can go to film
history AND check up on ratmm. I remember that.
Norb
who dreamed last night that she went to the next ConventioCon, but none
of the Brains ever appeared, although she suspected the guy taking the
tickets of being Kevin Murphy in disguise, and she got lost and ended
up in a series of tunnels up on the roof, and all in all it was about
the worst con she'd ever attended.
Donald G Bixler
In article <34319869...@news-s01.ny.us.ibm.net>,
Mike Sphar <mi...@matches.com> wrote:
>Did Ancient Astronauts named rog...@ix.netcom.com (Roger M. Wilcox) once
>write the following? Read the book:
>>Whose mother was it that Zeus seduced by turning into a bull?
Hmm... I can't think of one where Zeus turned into a bull. He took the
form of a woman's husband, a swan, and a cloud that I can think of off
the top of my head, but not a bull. Io was turned into a heifer by Zeus
to try and hide her from Hera's wrath. Sorry I can't help there. Of
course, it might be easier for me to remember in the morning...
>Is that the same woman that later fell in love with a bull and had--um, I
>forget his name. The father of Icarus--anyway, she had the guy build a big
>cow costume for her to climb in to...um...socialize...with the bull. Later
>giving birth to the minotaur.
Pasiphae.. was her name.
>(And that's *just* where being a size queen will get you!)
What, you mean with a daughter who hung out with the ultimate party god?
Oops da Ogre, myth.geek
--
Oops da Ogre (mud...@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu) Donald G. Bixler
"I need a urine sample." "Chicken or beef?" - heard at work
hei...@imap2.asu.edu
Donald G Bixler (mud...@ecom5.ecn.bgu.edu) wrote:
: In article <34319869...@news-s01.ny.us.ibm.net>,
: Mike Sphar <mi...@matches.com> wrote:
: >Did Ancient Astronauts named rog...@ix.netcom.com (Roger M. Wilcox) once
[snip stuff about Zeus and his many loves...]
OK...let's see if I get this straight off the top of my head. I will
probably get spellings wrong, though.
Zeus took the form of Alcmenae's husband. Result: Hercules.
Zeus took the form of a bull and carried off Europa from someplace in
Asia to the island of Crete. That's where Europe got its name. Result:
I don't remember who was the immediate result, but she was at least the
direct ancestress of Rhadamanthus (famous good king), Minos I (another
famous good king), and Minos the II--who was the one married to Pasiphae,
who was the one who did it with a bull. A *real* bull. Which happened
because Minos II insulted Posedin...Poseidin...Posie...Neptune.
Zeus took the form of a swan and seduced Lyda. Result: Castor and the
famously beautiful Helen. Lyda's husband gave her Clytemnestra
(married to the famous Agememnon) and Pollux.
Zeus took the form of a golden shower to sneak into Danae's prison.
Result: Perseus.
Zeus used a cloud to hide his dallyings with Io from Hera. When Hera
dispersed the cloud, Zeus had already changed Io into a heifer.
BTW, if you're wondering about the *real* reason for all these marital
dallyings...as the Greek religion spread, it incorporated the legends and
beliefs of the religions of the different communities. Zeus, as king of
the gods, had to take on the aspects--including the wives and
children--of all those other kings of the gods.
This concludes today's lecture in Greek and Roman Mythology 101. Please
have chapter 3 read for Friday--and yes, this *will* be on the midterm.
--
Sarah Heiner hei...@asu.edu
Arizona State University
MSTie #53681 http://www.public.asu.edu/~heiner
"Wouldn't it be interesting to have an amoeba sitting
on this microphone making burping sounds?"
Richard Packard, physicist
Brian E Clough
>In article <341D84...@mitre.org>,
> Carl Burke <cbu...@mitre.org> wrote:
>>
> [ re: everybody's favorite Borg of nine]
>>
>> But based on the picture in TV Guide, she _is_ hot.
>> Guess they felt the need to keep babe parity with Kes leaving.
>
>First the Borg Queen in _First Contact_, now 7-of-9 on _Voyager_.
>
>I gotta ask: Do ALL female Borg _saunter_?!
>
>
>> --
>> Barcode, waiting eagerly for new B5
>
>Do they know who's replacing Claudia Christian yet?
I heard it was Tracy Scoggins. (veteran of Dynasty)
Roger M. Wilcox
In article <60baqo$m...@news.asu.edu>,
hei...@imap2.asu.edu wrote:
>
> Zeus took the form of a swan and seduced Lyda. Result: Castor and the
> famously beautiful Helen. Lyda's husband gave her Clytemnestra
> (married to the famous Agememnon) and Pollux.
Wait a minute ... you mean Zeus is Castor's dad, but Lyda's hubby
(who was somebody other than Zeus) is Pollux's dad?
I thought Castor and Pollux were supposed to be twins!
Roger M. "Well, that's what they tell us astronomy people!" Wilcox
Roger M. Wilcox
In article <34319869...@news-s01.ny.us.ibm.net>,
mi...@matches.com (Mike Sphar) wrote:
>
> Did Ancient Astronauts named rog...@ix.netcom.com (Roger M. Wilcox) once
> >Whose mother was it that Zeus seduced by turning into a bull?
>
> forget his name. The father of Icarus--
Daedalus.
The father of Icarus was Daedalus. Inventor of the Wax Wing.
(Wax Wings? What was he thinkin'? What was he, blind?)
I doubt he was half-bull, though.
Roger M. Wilcox
In article <60980b$n...@ultranews.duc.auburn.edu>,> : > --
> : > Barcode, waiting eagerly for new B5
>
> : Do they know who's replacing Claudia Christian yet?
>
> IMHO, it's a net gain. And I liked Christian.
I thought Scoggins was going to come onto the show at the end
of season 4, playing a new character that JMS had planned on
from Day One, and that Christian's unexpected (and undesired)
departure meant he had to get ANOTHER person to fill the role
he'd had planned out for Susan Ivanova. In addition to whatever
character Scoggins is going to play, I mean.
Roger M. Wilcox, hoping Ivanova appears in one of the made-4-TV movies.
hei...@imap2.asu.edu
: hei...@imap2.asu.edu wrote:
: >
: > Zeus took the form of a swan and seduced Lyda. Result: Castor and the
: > famously beautiful Helen. Lyda's husband gave her Clytemnestra
: > (married to the famous Agememnon) and Pollux.
: Wait a minute ... you mean Zeus is Castor's dad, but Lyda's hubby
: (who was somebody other than Zeus) is Pollux's dad?
: I thought Castor and Pollux were supposed to be twins!
They are. Same birth time, same mother, but different fathers. Zeus and
Lyda's husband apparently had sex with her on the same night. Or
something like that. (-:
Diane Thorne
hei...@imap2.asu.edu wrote:
> Zeus took the form of a golden shower to sneak into Danae's prison.
Owwwww! Thanks, I was eating lunch when I read that. Now I'm going to
have heart burn the rest of the day.
-col "cleaning my screen" di
Mandy Shekleton
Norb wrote:
>
> In article <609oim$8...@bgtnsc03.worldnet.att.net>
> Mandy Shekleton <feu...@mindless.com> writes:
>
> > 'Must've been something I ate...' 'This is not happening...this is not
> > happening...' and now I'm blanking. Oh, well.
> > I love almost every episode of XF (yes, even the stinky one with the
> > cult and Shane Vansen), but I love Darin's stuff MORE...
>
> I stopped at a Kentucky Fried Chicken awhile back, and just stood at
> the counter, laughing and laughing, because they sold individual slices
> of sweet potato pie.
*laughing just thinking about it* David Duchovny should've gotten an
Emmy for that scene. It was *perfect*.
Pepper, doesn't even *like* DD that much...
Norb
In article <3429F021...@mindless.com>
Mandy Shekleton <feu...@mindless.com> writes:
>
> *laughing just thinking about it* David Duchovny should've gotten an
> Emmy for that scene. It was *perfect*.
>
> Pepper, doesn't even *like* DD that much...
Yeah, you go through life thinking the dude couldn't act to save his
dying grandmother (and what a situation that would be), and then a
scene like that . . . Even better, IMosHO, is the last quarter of
"Small Potatoes". Eddie-as-Mulder staring into the camera, trying to
figure out the best way to say "FBI", listening to Mulder's machine,
falling out of the swivel chair . . . *sniff* . . .it's so beautiful!
Norb
"Good night! This is where my tax dollars go?"
Tammy Stephanie Davis
In article <3429F021...@mindless.com>,
Mandy Shekleton <feu...@mindless.com> wrote:
:Norb wrote:
:>
:> In article <609oim$8...@bgtnsc03.worldnet.att.net>
:> Mandy Shekleton <feu...@mindless.com> writes:
:>
:> > 'Must've been something I ate...' 'This is not happening...this is not
:> > happening...' and now I'm blanking. Oh, well.
:> > I love almost every episode of XF (yes, even the stinky one with the
:> > cult and Shane Vansen), but I love Darin's stuff MORE...
:>
:> I stopped at a Kentucky Fried Chicken awhile back, and just stood at
:> the counter, laughing and laughing, because they sold individual slices
:> of sweet potato pie.
:*laughing just thinking about it* David Duchovny should've gotten an
:Emmy for that scene. It was *perfect*.
Did I read correctly that Darin won an Emmy? If so, for which episode?
---TSD(I hope it was the POV one. It was brilliant.)
Mike Sphar
Did Ancient Astronauts named rog...@ix.netcom.com (Roger M. Wilcox) once
write the following? Read the book:
>In article <34319869...@news-s01.ny.us.ibm.net>,
> mi...@matches.com (Mike Sphar) wrote:
>> Did Ancient Astronauts named rog...@ix.netcom.com (Roger M. Wilcox) once
>> write the following? Read the book:
>> >Whose mother was it that Zeus seduced by turning into a bull?
>>
>> Is that the same woman that later fell in love with a bull and had--um, I
>> forget his name. The father of Icarus--
>
>
>Daedalus.
Yes!
>The father of Icarus was Daedalus. Inventor of the Wax Wing.
>(Wax Wings? What was he thinkin'? What was he, blind?)
>
>I doubt he was half-bull, though.
No no no. The father of Icarus part was in between those dashy things.
It's a wossname. An aside...or something.
I meant that it was Daedalus that built the cow costume. (And then the
Minotaur's Labrinth if I recall correctly.)
Norb
In article <60clrn$908$1...@newbabylon.rs.itd.umich.edu>
t...@joust.rs.itd.umich.edu (Tammy Stephanie Davis) writes:
> Did I read correctly that Darin won an Emmy? If so, for which episode?
"Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose". The one with The Stupendous Yappi,
and the insurance salesman who can see people's deaths, and hints about
Mulder and autoerotic aphyxiation and Scully not dying, and Scully gets
a dog (whom Morgan thoughtfully killed off - eaten whole by something
living in a lake - in a subsequent episide), and the one I HAVEN'T
seen, and it's driving me nuts, and all I can do is patiently wait for
it to come out on video like I did with "Humbug", and mutter angrily at
the world from my own small dark corner.
>---TSD(I hope it was the POV one. It was brilliant.)
If the one you're referring to is "Jose Chung's 'From Outer Space'",
you're right. That should've won too.
Norb
And now he's going to work for "Millenium". The hell . . . ?
Mike Sphar
Did Ancient Astronauts named mud...@ecom5.ecn.bgu.edu (Donald G Bixler)
once write the following? Read the book:
>>cow costume for her to climb in to...um...socialize...with the bull. Later
>>giving birth to the minotaur.
>
>Pasiphae.. was her name.
Ah! Thanks.
>>(And that's *just* where being a size queen will get you!)
>
>What, you mean with a daughter who hung out with the ultimate party god?
Um, no. I mean hiding out in a cow suit waiting for the "Great Bull of
Heaven" to plow your field.
Roger M. Wilcox
In article <60c0hq$c...@news.asu.edu>,
> : (who was somebody other than Zeus) is Pollux's dad?
> :
> : I thought Castor and Pollux were supposed to be twins!
>
> They are. Same birth time, same mother, but different fathers. Zeus and
> Lyda's husband apparently had sex with her on the same night. Or
> something like that. (-:
Ah, the perils of double ovulation.
I wonder if large-litter animals (e.g. dogs, cats, rabbits) ever
have the same problem?
Roger M. "The multiple genertic fathers problem, not the being-
seduced-by-the-head-god problem" Wilcox
Mandy Shekleton
Norb wrote:
[Darin Morgan stuff]
> And now he's going to work for "Millenium". The hell . . . ?
He is? *falls off chair*
*picks self up*
Well, might counteract Lance Henrikson.
Pepper, and have Doug Hutchison on every week!
Mike Barklage
t...@joust.rs.itd.umich.edu (Tammy Stephanie Davis) writes:
>Did I read correctly that Darin won an Emmy? If so, for which episode?
He won a Best Writing Emmy for "Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose." Peter
Boyle also won an Emmy for Best Guest Star.
Mike Barklage
bark...@ucsu.colorado.edu -- MSTie #19634 -- http://rtt.colorado.edu/~barklage
"Can i play a corpse who has room tempature SURGE<tm> dumped on it which
causes my rotted body to be reanimated?" -- Sir STACK
Soundwave [Chad Gould]
Let the court record show that Diane Thorne said:
>hei...@imap2.asu.edu wrote:
>> Zeus took the form of a golden shower to sneak into Danae's prison.
>Owwwww! Thanks, I was eating lunch when I read that. Now I'm going to
>have heart burn the rest of the day.
Too kinky for my tastes for sure. And here I thought Zeus was merely a
polyamorist...
--
Chad Gould aka Soundwave |-X5/D50/DX27S/Juno106/TX16W/BE5-|
internet: cgo...@gate.net |-M1000/Pulse/K5000R/SE70/MS1402-|
http://tilt.largo.fl.us/ |Make Happy the Harmonica Happy!!|
"It has to warm up... SO IT CAN KILL YOU!" - Raul Julia, TAF pinball
Usenet email address is fake. Please use email address in sig above to write.
Norb
In article <342B04F8...@mindless.com>
Mandy Shekleton <feu...@mindless.com> writes:
>
> [Darin Morgan stuff]
> > And now he's going to work for "Millenium". The hell . . . ?
>
> He is? *falls off chair*
>
> *picks self up*
>
Yup. According to Entertainment Weekly, Flukeboy is now writing for
everyone's favorite hour of laughs. (NOTE: All my news of the outside
world now comes from Entertainment Weekly, because it's the only
periodical that doesn't get immediately stolen from the dorm common
rooms. We haven't declared war on anybody important in the last month,
have we?)
What's more . . . he's bringing back Jose Chung.
I'm tempted to start watching Millenium now, just to see what happens
now that they're consciously trying not to provoke clinical depression.
> Well, might counteract Lance Henrikson.
They need some sort of salve or spray to take care of that.
Norb
If the Powers That Be had any sense, Darin would be running his OWN
bleeping show by now. Bleep.
Stephen Cooke
On 26 Sep 1997, Norb wrote:
> In article <342B04F8...@mindless.com>
> Mandy Shekleton <feu...@mindless.com> writes:
> > Well, might counteract Lance Henrikson.
>
> They need some sort of salve or spray to take care of that.
I think you need to boil Lance.
swac
Oh, like YOU weren't thinking of it!
dhi...@kruncher.ptloma.edu
Hey, I was just on DejaNews checking my MiSTing of "The Only Constant"
(Thanks again, Thad Man!), and I found this thread. Does anyone care to
explain what it is, or why my name's on it? Or did you mean the other guy
who MiSTed "Enterprized" and "A Gul's Revenge"?
I used DejaNews to check the original message of the thread, and I never
MiSTed anything involving Voyager (except as a riff reference) or needing
breasts. I'm confused.
SHAMELESS PLUG ALERT
All my MiSTings are at my site, MiSTing Heaven at:
http://199.106.87.9/~boffo/msting.html
Brian E Clough
On 24 Sep 1997 15:15:36 GMT, hei...@imap2.asu.edu wrote:
>Donald G Bixler (mud...@ecom5.ecn.bgu.edu) wrote:
>
>OK...let's see if I get this straight off the top of my head. I will
>probably get spellings wrong, though.
>
>Zeus took the form of a bull and carried off Europa from someplace in
> Asia to the island of Crete. That's where Europe got its name. Result:
> I don't remember who was the immediate result, but she was at least the
> direct ancestress of Rhadamanthus (famous good king), Minos I (another
Europa's daughter was Ariane. Both of them later lent their names to
space rockets, along with Mercury, Apollo, Atlas, Jupiter and Saturn.
> famous good king), and Minos the II--who was the one married to Pasiphae,
> who was the one who did it with a bull. A *real* bull. Which happened
> because Minos II insulted Posedin...Poseidin...Posie...Neptune.
c72...@sp2n17.missouri.edu
: >
: > But based on the picture in TV Guide, she _is_ hot.
: > Guess they felt the need to keep babe parity with Kes leaving.
: First the Borg Queen in _First Contact_, now 7-of-9 on _Voyager_.
: I gotta ask: Do ALL female Borg _saunter_?
I must say that I've never before seen a latex-clad bimbo sporting
a panty line before... dang...
: Do they know who's replacing Claudia Christian yet?
Tracy Scroggins of _Dynasty_ fame. Maybe they'll get Jane Wyman
to play Londo's mother or something :)
Mike Sphar
>>Zeus took the form of a bull and carried off Europa from someplace in
>> Asia to the island of Crete. That's where Europe got its name. Result:
>> I don't remember who was the immediate result, but she was at least the
>> direct ancestress of Rhadamanthus (famous good king), Minos I (another
>> who was the one who did it with a bull. A *real* bull. Which happened
>> because Minos II insulted Posedin...Poseidin...Posie...Neptune.
Ah, yes! That's what I was trying to remember. Minos II insulted
Poseidon, Posie makes Minos' wife Pasiphae fall in love with a bull (man,
was that Poseidon creative with his revenge or what?), Pasiphae convinces
Daedalus to build her the equivalent of an inflatable cow for her to climb
into so she can get some longhorn, Pasiphae gives birth to Minotaur, Minos
(I think) eventually has Daedalus build labyrinth to contain Minotaur.
Later, enter one of those interchangeable greek heroes who shows up and
destroys the minotaur.
The moral of the story: Be nice to the sea.
hei...@imap2.asu.edu
: <342f7c67...@news-s01.ny.us.ibm.net>
Distribution:
Mike Sphar (mi...@matches.com) wrote:
: >>Zeus took the form of a bull and carried off Europa from someplace in
: >> Asia to the island of Crete. That's where Europe got its name. Result:
: >> I don't remember who was the immediate result, but she was at least the
: >> direct ancestress of Rhadamanthus (famous good king), Minos I (another
: >> famous good king), and Minos the II--who was the one married to Pasiphae,
: >> who was the one who did it with a bull. A *real* bull. Which happened
: >> because Minos II insulted Posedin...Poseidin...Posie...Neptune.
: Ah, yes! That's what I was trying to remember. Minos II insulted
: Poseidon, Posie makes Minos' wife Pasiphae fall in love with a bull (man,
: was that Poseidon creative with his revenge or what?), Pasiphae convinces
: Daedalus to build her the equivalent of an inflatable cow for her to climb
: into so she can get some longhorn, Pasiphae gives birth to Minotaur, Minos
: (I think) eventually has Daedalus build labyrinth to contain Minotaur.
: Later, enter one of those interchangeable greek heroes who shows up and
: destroys the minotaur.
Theseus. Founder of an early form of democracy in Athens. Not so
intelligent with his choice of friends, however...
: The moral of the story: Be nice to the sea.
Definitely a thing to keep in mind. (-:
Jamie Plummer
In article <8752782...@dejanews.com>, dhi...@kruncher.ptloma.edu wrote:
>Hey, I was just on DejaNews checking my MiSTing of "The Only Constant"
>(Thanks again, Thad Man!), and I found this thread. Does anyone care to
>explain what it is, or why my name's on it? Or did you mean the other guy
>who MiSTed "Enterprized" and "A Gul's Revenge"?
The other guy.
Jamie Plummer jcp9j SPAM BLOCK @ virginia.edu
[I've finally given up. My address is no longer in USENET headers. Damn spam.]
http://wsrv.clas.virginia.edu/~jcp9j
"I am NOT Montel Williams!" -- Det. Munch
c72...@sp2n09.missouri.edu
Mike Sphar (mi...@matches.com) wrote:
[nibble]
: Later, enter one of those interchangeable greek heroes who shows up and
: destroys the minotaur.
JIMMY SMITS!
Er, no, wait, it was the other one... <bangs head>
Roger M. Wilcox
In article <342bd643...@news.phoenix.com>,
clo...@gis.net (Brian E Clough) wrote:
>
> Europa's daughter was Ariane. Both of them later lent their names to
> space rockets, along with Mercury, Apollo, Atlas, Jupiter and Saturn.
Weeeellll .... I really wouldn't call Mercury and Apollo "space rockets".
Admittedly, they did have small rocket engines on their backsides. The
Apollo spacecraft had a hypergolic "Spacecraft Propulsion System" engine
which they used for course correction, LOI, and TEI burns. The Mercury
spacecraft (starting with Friendship 7) each had a one-use retro-rocket
pack that they used for the deorbit burn. And of course both spacecraft
types had teensy-tinsy "thrusters" or "maneuvering jets", each capable of
producing about 3-5 pounds of thrust, which they used to rotate.
However, they weren't full-blown Launch Vehicles like Ariane, Atlas, or
Saturn. Or Titan. Or Polaris. Or that legendary figure from classical
mythology, the great god Redstone.
Roger M. "And which vehicle was 'Jupiter'?" Wilcox
--
rog...@ix.netcom.com (Roger M. Wilcox) -- without prejudice UCC 1-207
I'm not flying fast, just orbiting low. Oh, and I'm sodium.
MSTie #38808 | http://www.netcom.com/~rogermw ... now in new EXTRA bold!
<*> | "The truth, as always, is more complicated than that."
-------------------==== Posted via Deja News ====-----------------------
Carl Burke
Roger M. Wilcox wrote:
...
> I gotta ask: Do ALL female Borg _saunter_?!
Hope so.
--
--------------------------------------------------
Carl Burke, cbu...@mitre.org -- Morde me, iuvat
My opinions are mine and mine alone, unless you
agree with them. Then I'll share.
--------------------------------------------------
Jeffrey Johnson
On Mon, 29 Sep 1997, Carl Burke wrote:
> Roger M. Wilcox wrote:
> ...
> > I gotta ask: Do ALL female Borg _saunter_?!
>
> Hope so.
No kidding. Assimilate...me! Please?
JSJ1TG, resistance is...not in my vocabulary...
David Hines
In article <8752782...@dejanews.com>, dhi...@kruncher.ptloma.edu wrote:
>>Hey, I was just on DejaNews checking my MiSTing of "The Only Constant"
>>(Thanks again, Thad Man!), and I found this thread. Does anyone care to
>>explain what it is, or why my name's on it? Or did you mean the other guy
>>who MiSTed "Enterprized" and "A Gul's Revenge"?
In article <60ifn7$t04$1...@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU>,
Jamie Plummer <jcp9j!@virginia.edu> wrote:
>
>The other guy.
I thought Joel was the Other Guy.
(Besides, I was *first,* dagnabbit; by all rights this guy who's
laying claim to my name is the other guy. I am the guy! Accept
no substitutes! Yay cane sugar!)
The MiSting in question is on my web page, in my archives, for
those who haven't read it yet.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
| David Hines d-h...@uchicago.edu |
| http://student-www.uchicago.edu/users/dzhines |
====================================================================
A,A,M&K
>In article <8752782...@dejanews.com>, dhi...@kruncher.ptloma.edu wrote:
>>>Hey, I was just on DejaNews checking my MiSTing of "The Only Constant"
>>>(Thanks again, Thad Man!), and I found this thread. Does anyone care to
>>>explain what it is, or why my name's on it? Or did you mean the other guy
>>>who MiSTed "Enterprized" and "A Gul's Revenge"?
>
>In article <60ifn7$t04$1...@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU>,
>Jamie Plummer <jcp9j!@virginia.edu> wrote:
>>
>>The other guy.
>
>I thought Joel was the Other Guy.
>
>(Besides, I was *first,* dagnabbit; by all rights this guy who's
> laying claim to my name is the other guy. I am the guy! Accept
> no substitutes! Yay cane sugar!)
Hmmm, maybe there should be a "David Hines Continnum" like the one for
the Jeffery Jhonsons.
>The MiSting in question is on my web page, in my archives, for
>those who haven't read it yet.
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
>| David Hines d-h...@uchicago.edu |
>| http://student-www.uchicago.edu/users/dzhines |
> ====================================================================
Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" Perron is going to trick-or-treat on the 31st.
mpo...@mail.widowmaker.com.delete-this-part
>In article <342bd643...@news.phoenix.com>,
> clo...@gis.net (Brian E Clough) wrote:
>>
>> Europa's daughter was Ariane. Both of them later lent their names to
>> space rockets, along with Mercury, Apollo, Atlas, Jupiter and Saturn.
>
>
>Weeeellll .... I really wouldn't call Mercury and Apollo "space rockets".
>
Yes...one thing you need to watch when talking about rockets is that
the actual designation for the launch vehicle was "payload/booster".
For example, the Mercury program used the Mercury space capsule, along
with the Redstone booster for early launches, and later the Atlas.
The Gemeni program used the Atlas booster (with Atlas booster
launching the Agena docking targets), and the Apollo program used
Apollo capsules launched from Saturn I-B booster, and Apollo capsules
with lunar landers (and the occasional Skylab module) launched from
Saturn V boosters.
Mike Powers
Roger M. Wilcox
In article <34314f17.25427766@news>,
mpo...@mail.widowmaker.com.DELETE-THIS-PART wrote:
>
> and the Apollo program used
> Apollo capsules launched from Saturn I-B booster, and Apollo capsules
> with lunar landers (and the occasional Skylab module) launched from
> Saturn V boosters.
More specifically, the Apollo missions that took place in Earth orbit
(i.e. Apollo 7, Apollo 9, Apollo-Soyuz, the unmanned Apollos 4-6, and
the late lamented Apollo 1) used the Saturn I-B as their launch vehicle,
while the Apollo missions that took place in lunar orbit (including
Apollo 8 which had no Lunar Module) used the Saturn V. Skylab used a
Saturn V even though it was only going into low Earth orbit because it
weighed so much more than an Apollo CSM/LM combination.
But now I'm really picking nits.
Julia
Brian E Clough wrote:
>
> America's first satelite, Explorer 1, was launched by a Jupiter C
> rocket, desighed by Werner von Braun. This just goes to show that the
> space race was all about proving that "our" Germans were better than
> "their" Germans.
For some reason this struck me as really funny. Thanks. :)
<Flash of Ginsu knife commercial....."Sharper than our CHERMANNN
KNIFES???">
Julia, thinking that sounds a lot better out loud than it looks written.
Brian E Clough
>In article <342bd643...@news.phoenix.com>,
> clo...@gis.net (Brian E Clough) wrote:
>>
>> Europa's daughter was Ariane. Both of them later lent their names to
>> space rockets, along with Mercury, Apollo, Atlas, Jupiter and Saturn.
>
>
>Weeeellll .... I really wouldn't call Mercury and Apollo "space rockets".
>
>Admittedly, they did have small rocket engines on their backsides. The
>Apollo spacecraft had a hypergolic "Spacecraft Propulsion System" engine
>which they used for course correction, LOI, and TEI burns. The Mercury
>spacecraft (starting with Friendship 7) each had a one-use retro-rocket
>pack that they used for the deorbit burn. And of course both spacecraft
>types had teensy-tinsy "thrusters" or "maneuvering jets", each capable of
>producing about 3-5 pounds of thrust, which they used to rotate.
>
>However, they weren't full-blown Launch Vehicles like Ariane, Atlas, or
>Saturn. Or Titan. Or Polaris. Or that legendary figure from classical
>mythology, the great god Redstone.
>
>
>Roger M. "And which vehicle was 'Jupiter'?" Wilcox
O.K. Mr. picky, "Vehicles Associated with Space Flight".
Chris Gleason
Brian E Clough wrote in article <3432a0e7...@news.ptltd.com>...
>America's first satelite, Explorer 1, was launched by a Jupiter C
>rocket, desighed by Werner von Braun. This just goes to show that the
>space race was all about proving that "our" Germans were better than
>"their" Germans.
"Ve could haf orbited a satellite a year ago, if ve had been given ze "green
light." Now, ve vill haf to get somezing up zere qvick und dirty, using a
combination of ze rockets available to us: ze Redstone, ze Atlas. I think
zat wissin a year, ve could, possibly, launch a podt."
Oh, God, how I love that movie....
=================================================
"A POT?",
Chris Gleason -- The Best Kisser in the Universe!
Baseball fiend, game show junkie, doughy guy.
MSTie #66772 chris...@aol.com
CHECK OUT MY E-COLUMN!
http://members.aol.com/chrisglson/sftg.html
Phil Russell
Julia wrote:
>
> Brian E Clough wrote:
> >
> > America's first satelite, Explorer 1, was launched by a Jupiter C
> > rocket, desighed by Werner von Braun. This just goes to show that the
> > space race was all about proving that "our" Germans were better than
> > "their" Germans.
>
>
> <Flash of Ginsu knife commercial....."Sharper than our CHERMANNN
> KNIFES???">
>
> Julia, thinking that sounds a lot better out loud than it looks written.
On a somewhat-different-but-related note. In my "Non-Theatrical Film"
(read "Documentary") class this week, I had to watch "Triumph of the
Will" (read "Leni Riefenstahl's 1934 Nazi Rally Film"). I managed to
survive other films by "mentally MSTing" them, but I couldn't even get
through this one.
<Doctor Smith>
Oh, the pain... the pain...
</Doctor Smith>
Phil "What are all of these Germans doing in the lift" Russell
Derek Janssen
She Who Controls the Wind and the Seas wrote:
>
> Phil Russell wrote:
> >
> > On a somewhat-different-but-related note. In my "Non-Theatrical Film"
> > (read "Documentary") class this week, I had to watch "Triumph of the
> > Will" (read "Leni Riefenstahl's 1934 Nazi Rally Film"). I managed to
> > survive other films by "mentally MSTing" them, but I couldn't even get
> > through this one.
>
> what happens when you use your powers for evil?
A recent Oscar-nominated documentary caught up with her (she's still
around, supposedly):
She never subscribed to Nazi politics--she only wanted the chance to
show her stuff with a state-run studio--but couldn't get a single job
after the war, and explored her own independent projects in later years,
such as underwater filming...
Also was one of the great silent actresses, nobody seems to remember.
> Amy, liked "Metropolis," though... it wasn't Reifenstahl, of
> course, but it was another film we watched in that class.
Sorry, but it's true: the Giorgio Moroder redub's spoiled me for any
other version...
Derek Janssen
dja...@ultranet.com
She Who Controls the Wind and the Seas
Phil Russell wrote:
>
> On a somewhat-different-but-related note. In my "Non-Theatrical Film"
> (read "Documentary") class this week, I had to watch "Triumph of the
> Will" (read "Leni Riefenstahl's 1934 Nazi Rally Film"). I managed to
> survive other films by "mentally MSTing" them, but I couldn't even get
> through this one.
I had to watch that in college in my "20th Century Germany"
seminar (we called it "the Hitler class"). It was fascinating yet
repulsive. I mean, the way it was filmed, if
you didn't bother reading the subtitles, you could almost
feel the energy and excitement that the German people were
feeding off of when Hitler came to power... then you started
reading what he was actually *saying*... it put me off my
feed for a week. And that was just the convenient edited-for
-class fifty-minute version.
Too bad, too. Leni Riefenstahl was a good filmmaker. See
what happens when you use your powers for evil?
Amy, liked "Metropolis," though... it wasn't Reifenstahl, of
course, but it was another film we watched in that class.
-------------------------------
"You're built too low! The fast ones go over your head!
You got a hole in your glove! I keep pitchin' 'em and you
keep missin' 'em! You gotta keep your eye on the ball, son!
Eye...ball...Eyeball! I almost had a gag there. Joke, that is."
-- Foghorn Leghorn
ac...@virginia.edu
Phil Russell
Derek Janssen wrote:
>
> She Who Controls the Wind and the Seas wrote:
> >
> > >
> > > On a somewhat-different-but-related note. In my "Non-Theatrical Film"
> > > (read "Documentary") class this week, I had to watch "Triumph of the
> > > Will" (read "Leni Riefenstahl's 1934 Nazi Rally Film"). I managed to
> > > survive other films by "mentally MSTing" them, but I couldn't even get
> > > through this one.
> >
> > what happens when you use your powers for evil?
She wasn't voluntarily trying to be evil...
> A recent Oscar-nominated documentary caught up with her (she's still
> around, supposedly):
Well preserved. She'd be in her ninetiws today, right?
> She never subscribed to Nazi politics--she only wanted the chance to
> show her stuff with a state-run studio--but couldn't get a single job
> after the war, and explored her own independent projects in later years,
> such as underwater filming...
I saw part of that documentary. "Triumph of the Will" wasn't her
favorite film, but she was proud of her work on it. I heard that she
cut a lot of Hitler's speeches out, instead focusing on patriotic
images. As films go, it's beautiful. It was just the subject matter
that marked it.
> Also was one of the great silent actresses, nobody seems to remember.
Right. She starred in several mountain films, the German equivalent of
the Western.
Next week, we're watching "Olympia", another Reifenstahl film, less
Nazi-centralized. (Apparently, our instructor likes Leni Reifenstahl.)
I've heard about the underwater filming in the diving sequences.
> > Amy, liked "Metropolis," though... it wasn't Reifenstahl, of
> > course, but it was another film we watched in that class.
Ah, Fritz Lang... Hey, waitaminute! The only Lang film I've seen was
"Spies"! That was in my "History of Film" class. (On an intersting
side note, *that* instructor has recently taken voluntary academic leave
because a comment he made at a roundtable discussion sparked some racial
controversy.)
Phil "Whaddaya mean von Stroheim doesn't count as German" Russell
Roger M. Wilcox
On Wed, 1 Oct 1997 14:30:20 -0700, "Chris Gleason" <chris...@aol.com> wrote:
>Brian E Clough wrote in article <3432a0e7...@news.ptltd.com>...
>
>>America's first satelite, Explorer 1, was launched by a Jupiter C
>>rocket, desighed by Werner von Braun. This just goes to show that the
>>space race was all about proving that "our" Germans were better than
>>"their" Germans.
>
>"Ve could haf orbited a satellite a year ago, if ve had been given ze "green
>light." Now, ve vill haf to get somezing up zere qvick und dirty, using a
>combination of ze rockets available to us: ze Redstone, ze Atlas. I think
>zat wissin a year, ve could, possibly, launch a podt."
>
>Oh, God, how I love that movie....
>
>=================================================
>"A POT?",
"Nein, nein, nein! A PO*D*!! I vould contain a spazemun --"
"A SPACEMAN?"
"SPE-CI-MEN!!"
Didja notice how that character was listed only as being the "Chief space
scientist" in the end-credits? Not as "Werner von Braun"? Did von Braun
trademark his name or something?
--
Roger M. Wilcox (rog...@ix.netcom.com) -- without prejudice UCC 1-207
Unlawful to use this email address for commercial solicitation: 47 USC 227
MSTie # 38808 | http://www.netcom.com/~rogermw ... now in new EXTRA bold!
<*> | "The Truth, as always, is more complicated than that"
Chris Gleason
Roger M. Wilcox wrote in message <3437cf6f...@nntp.ix.netcom.com>...
[OUR GERMANS VS. THEIR GERMANS]
>>"Ve could haf orbited a satellite a year ago, if ve had been given ze
"green
>>light." Now, ve vill haf to get somezing up zere qvick und dirty, using a
>>combination of ze rockets available to us: ze Redstone, ze Atlas. I think
>>zat wissin a year, ve could, possibly, launch a podt."
>>
>>=================================================
>>"A POT?",
>
>
> "Nein, nein, nein! A PO*D*!! I vould contain a spazemun --"
Close.... d;-)
"A 'PO*D*!' Or 'capsool.' It would go up like a CANNONBALL! And come down
like a... CANNONBALL! Splashing down in ze vater of ze oshun, viss a
parachute to spare ze life of ze spazemun inside."
> "A SPACEMAN?"
> "SPE-CI-MEN!!"
"Well, what *kind* of SPE-CI-MEN?"
"A tough one. Rezponzive to ordahs. I had in mind a jzhihmp."
"A 'JZHIHMP?' Well what the HELL is a 'JZHIHMP?!?'"
"A jzhihmp! A jzhihmpanzee! An *ape*, eh?"
>Didja notice how that character was listed only as being the "Chief space
>scientist" in the end-credits? Not as "Werner von Braun"? Did von Braun
>trademark his name or something?
I have noticed that, and nothing I've seen explains it. Wolfe used "von
Braun" in the book, but von Braun's name is never mentioned in the movie, so
those responsible for the errors in the credits may not have been informed
as to his identity, and, accordingly, have been sacked.
=================================================
I still have to laugh out loud when I see
Chuck Yeager asking Harry Shearer and Jeff
Goldblum if "y'all want a shot of whiskey?",
She Who Controls the Wind and the Seas
Chris Gleason wrote:
>
[Yeager bio snipped]
Marry me again, Chris.
(um... btw, I just accidently typed your name "Christ."
Freudian slip? You decide.)
Yeager is one of my favorite people ever, and he's one of
my dad's role models. In fact, we have a picture of my dad
standing on the ladder next to his plane, wearing his flight
suit and that neat-o Air Force hat, looking faraway and
visionary (0 points), and he looks vaguely like Scott
Shepard does in the movie (only my dad's better looking :),
and it's really just a bit scary.
> =================================================
> Yeager named every plane he ever flew
> "Glamorous Glennis," after his wife,
Another reason to like the man.
Amy, to this day, my family goes around saying, "Ya got any
Beeman's?" We're a little weird.
Chris Gleason
She Who Controls the Wind and the Seas wrote in message
<343AD1...@virginia.edu>...
>[Yeager bio snipped]
>
>Marry me again, Chris.
Wow! That means we'll be married three times! Sure. But this time, no
banana-walnut wedding cake, please? Ish....
>(um... btw, I just accidently typed your name "Christ."
>Freudian slip? You decide.)
Merely a typo, I assure you. d:-)
>Yeager is one of my favorite people ever, and he's one of
>my dad's role models. In fact, we have a picture of my dad
>standing on the ladder next to his plane, wearing his flight
>suit and that neat-o Air Force hat,
That's really cool. d:-) My dad runs an auto-parts store. A picture of him
next to a stack of oil filters just isn't quite as awe-inspiring.
> looking faraway and
>visionary (0 points), and he looks vaguely like *Scott
>Shepard* does in the movie (only my dad's better looking :),
>and it's really just a bit scary.
[ASTERISKS MINE]
Not meaning to be a nudge, but you you mean Sam Shepard, or Scott Glenn
playing Alan Shepard?
Yeah it's confusing. d:-) Even when I was nine years old and saw that movie
in the theater, I noticed that the first three names in the credits lined up
thusly:
Chuck Yeager Sam Shepard
Alan Shepard Scott Glenn
John Glenn Ed Harris
And at the bottom of the list, just to bring everything full-circle:
Fred Gen. Chuck Yeager
I just think it's neat is all!
>> =================================================
>> Yeager named every plane he ever flew
>> "Glamorous Glennis," after his wife,
>
>Another reason to like the man.
Ain't it, though? So much of the book and movie are devoted to the...
*ahem*... fidelity issues associated with military pilots, highlighting
Yeager's devotion to Glennis was a beautiful counterpoint.
>Amy, to this day, my family goes around saying, "Ya got any
>Beeman's?" We're a little weird.
Well, I do that occasionally, but the rest of my family doesn't. At least
my dad knows what I mean. d:-)
=================================================
Loan me some, willya? I'll pay ya back later.,
Schlomo the wonder pup
She Who Controls the Wind and the Seas wrote:
>
> Chris Gleason wrote:
> > Not meaning to be a nudge, but you you mean Sam Shepard, or Scott Glenn
> > playing Alan Shepard?
>
> D'oh!
>
> Sam. Sam Shepard. The one who's shackin' up with Jessica Tandy out in
That's our Jessica, up to her old cradle-robbing ways, except now that
I think about it she passed on sometime over the past year or so.
Anywho, I belive you meant Miss Lange, Dino DiLaurentiis' Fay Wray.
I'll go back to my multivariate stats now.....
Dr Tickley
Who was nowhere near Bournemouth on the night in question.
Robert Fontenot Jr.
She Who Controls the Wind and the Seas wrote:
>
> Chris Gleason wrote:
> >
> > <343AD1...@virginia.edu>...
> >
> > >[Yeager bio snipped]
> > >my dad's role models. In fact, we have a picture of my dad
> > >standing on the ladder next to his plane, wearing his flight
> > >suit and that neat-o Air Force hat,
> >
> > That's really cool. d:-) My dad runs an auto-parts store. A picture of him
> > next to a stack of oil filters just isn't quite as awe-inspiring.
>
> want to take pictures of him cussing at Visual Basic.
>
> > > looking faraway and
> > >visionary (0 points), and he looks vaguely like *Scott
> > >Shepard* does in the movie (only my dad's better looking :),
> > >and it's really just a bit scary.
> >
> > [ASTERISKS MINE]
> >
> > playing Alan Shepard?
>
> D'oh!
>
> Sam. Sam Shepard. The one who's shackin' up with Jessica Tandy out in
> now.
>
> The part-time playwright.
Tandy? No, no, no. It's Jessica RABBIT.
--
Robert "Big Rob" Fontenot
WHIP Inc.
"Pretentious Quote" - Obscure Artist
Useless Fact
AOLNAME6567
http://web.page.plug
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She Who Controls the Wind and the Seas
Schlomo the wonder pup wrote:
>
> She Who Controls the Wind and the Seas wrote:
> >
> > Chris Gleason wrote:
>
> > > Not meaning to be a nudge, but you you mean Sam Shepard, or Scott Glenn
> > > playing Alan Shepard?
> >
> > D'oh!
> >
> > Sam. Sam Shepard. The one who's shackin' up with Jessica Tandy out in
>
> I think about it she passed on sometime over the past year or so.
> Anywho, I belive you meant Miss Lange, Dino DiLaurentiis' Fay Wray.
*extended giggle fit at the mental picture of Sam Shepard and Jessica
Tandy*
Sorry 'bout that.
Amy, I wonder if Hume's mad....
--
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on
fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the
darkness at Tannhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in
time like tears in rain. Time to die." -- Blade Runner
ac...@virginia.edu