[MiSTing] Part 2: "Aquamarines and Diamonds" and "Battle Royal"

[Carp]

> Chapter 2

> "Prince Demando?" I say thinking out loud.

TOM: Hmm. I bet she moves her lips when she reads, too.

> "I wonder who he
> is"
> I grabbed a blank canvas and started to paint a picture. I was just
> about done when she decided to call Setsuna, and check how long
> she'll be.
> "Hello?"
> "Hello, Setsuna?"

MIKE: (Michiru) Yeah, I was just wondering, uh, what the hell is wrong
with you?

> "Michiru? . . . why are . . . you, calling me?"

TOM: This... does... not... compute.

> "I was just wondering how long you'll be"
> "Well . . . I'll . . . be . . . here . . . all night"

MIKE: Ah, the riveting personality that is Setsuna!

> "Ok, see you in the morning, bye"
> "Bye." I hang the phone up. 'That was unusual' I thought '
> Setsuna seemed distracted'.

CROW: At least she wasn't as boring as she usually is.

> After a short shower I felt refreshed, I put
> on my sea-green silk pajamas and aqua satin robe.

TOM: (Michiru) But not before putting on my blue-green hat.
MIKE: (Michiru) And painting my entire body turquoise.

> I was about to finish
> my painting, when I saw my violin, by a glass door that lead to the
> balcony.

CROW: Oh no, it's trying to escape the fanfic!

> I feel tempted to play my violin. I walked to my violin, I
> looked out the window to the clear star-filled night, and three
> shooting stars streaked across the sky.

MIKE: Oh, god no.
CROW: Anything but them!
TOM: Who?
MIKE: Okay, Tom, imagine the Backstreet Boys, okay? Now, give them
even less personality, musical talent, and charisma. Got that? Okay,
now give 'em the ability to turn into women and the clothes of an S&M
dominatrix.
CROW: Now give them fifteen minutes of screen time every episode for an
entire season.
TOM: Uh, guys, you're scaring me.
MIKE: And even weirder hair.
CROW: Right.
TOM: What has Sailormoon DONE to you two?
MIKE: Damn Starlights...

> I stepped outside greeted by a warm
> breeze. I started slowly at first, then a little faster, I played
> melodically tune that echoed through the serene night.

TOM: (singing) Well, the devil went down to Georgia, lookin' for some
souls to steal...

> Behind her,
> inside he looked to her, listened to her song, looking through her
> art work admiring them, and looking at some photos that fluttered
> softly in the silver frames.

TOM: Dear god, those aren't pictures, those are SOULS!

> He saw a paining that I am still working, he decided to take a look
> at it.

CROW: And hurt his eyes.

> Walking by his' cape caught to a picture making it fall. The playing
> ceased. 'Perfect' he thought 'I could not have planned better'

MIKE: (Demando) I'm lucky I'm dumb as a rock!

> "Setsuna? Is that you?" I asked as I rushed in. "Setsuna?"
> "No, not Setsuna, Mi-chi-ru" he said stressing my beautiful
> name. I turned to the stranger, her blue eyes locked to his purple
> eyes.

TOM: Wha?
MIKE: Her?

> The King fisher looking at the fish.
> "Who- who are y-you?" I asked afraid.

MIKE: "But- but before you answer- swer, try some N- N- New Coke!"

> "I am Prince Demando of the Dark Moon Kingdom" he said
> walking closer to her. I wanted to run, but he mystified me.

CROW: Wait, so, Michiru is watching Demando seduce someone else?
MIKE: Looks that way.
TOM: But who?
MIKE: I don't know.
CROW: Make someone up.
MIKE: Okay, uh, Drew Barrymore.
TOM: Cool!

> "Prince Demando" I divulged "You, where the same, person
> fr-from earlier"

CROW: Jeez, lady, you're SAILOR NEPTUNE! Kick his ass!

> "That I am, Michiru" he said coursing his fingers through her
> aqueous silky sea-green hair.

CROW: Not a good look for Drew.
TOM: I don't think aqueous hair would look good on anyone.
MIKE: I'd agree, but I don't think it's really a word.

> Her eye darted in every direction, for
> a way out. I saw one, my transform pen, it I get it I could destroy
> him. I tried to bolt away from him, he grasped her at her
> shoulders.
> "Your not thinking of leaving so soon are you, Michiru?" he
> said holding me in an iron clad grip.

MIKE: If by "leaving", you mean "killing you", then yes.

> I could not move, no matter how hard I struggled.

CROW: (Michiru) I am just a girl, after all.

> "Don't resist Michiru." He pressed his lips on mine very
> hard, forcing her mouth to open as he moved his tongue in her mouth.

TOM: Still Drew?
MIKE: No, this was, uh, Gwen Steffani.
CROW: Cool!

> He released his grip from her shoulders, moving one hand to the
> small of her back, and the other behind her head.

MIKE: That's Gwen's shoulders, Drew's back, and Julia Robert's head.

> He bent forward, and I lead backwards. He broke away, his hungering
> eyes into my fearful eyes.
> "It will only make it hard for you, Michiru."

ALL: Eew!

> 'He keeps saying my name at the end of every sentence he used, is he
> trying to elicit me?' I kept asking herself in fear.

TOM: Yes. That and rape you.

> He stood her up. I felt a little dizzy from his kiss, I had never
> been kissed like that, even Yaten's kisses aren't so passionate.

ALL: GYAAAAGH!!
TOM: I've never even seen the show, and I know that's wrong!

> "Now will you keep resisting me, Michiru?" I shook her head,

MIKE: Poor Drew doesn't have the brainpower necessary to shake her own
head.

> even with the fear I felt, I also felt love. I saw he wanted
> something from her; he wanted her.
> "C-could, I please pick the picture that fell?" I asked
> nervously.
> "You may, Michiru" he said kindly.

CROW: How sweet of him to allow her to housekeep.

> I walked over to the
> fallen picture, and Prince Demando holding tight her wrist followed.
> The picture was a beach picture.

MIKE: "Gidget".

> Hoturu in a purple swim suit stood
> in the front. Behind her stood I in a dark aqua suit,

CROW: Okay, Michiru, I know you're the senshi of the sea and all, but
this aqua thing is getting pretty close to an obsession, here.

> next to my on
> one side stood Haruka as a male in dark blue swim trunks with gold
> strips. Next to me on the other side stood Setsuna in a dark red
> almost black bikini.
> I placed the picture in the middle of two pictures;

MIKE: There's an evil villian with a history of trying to rape her
colleagues who just broke into her home, assaulted her, and is making
creepy advances towards her and her celebrity friends, yet she STILL
has time for home redecoration!
TOM: What a trooper.

> one just Haruka and
> her, Haruka as a male; the other the same picture as the one that
> fell, but Haruka as a female in the same swim suit but, a bikini top
> that was dark blue with gold straps.

TOM: Haruka's pretty smug about this changing genders thing.
CROW: Wouldn't you be?

> "Who is the man in the Picture?" Prince Demando asked.

MIKE: (Michiru) Um, that's me.

> "My boyfriend, Haruka" I replied.
> "Interesting boyfriend, it's a he and I."

TOM: Whoa. Looks like somebody forgot what they were talking about
midway through the sentence.

> I sadden with reality,

CROW: (Michiru) I'm still in this damn fanfic.

> "Haruka was originally a man, till I found out he is the
> sailor scout of Uranus, I warned him, that when he transforms he
> will never be the same again"

TOM: Oh.
MIKE: That explains everything.

> I said tears streaming down her
> face.
> He looked to her, kissing her salty tears,
> "Don't be saddened by things you can't control"

TOM: Like cars with automatic gearshifts.

> he said
> caring. He pulled her closer to him. With a soft kiss on the cheek
> he disappeared. I stood there feeling a passionate need for him.
> His touch. His love and kiss.

CROW: His Playstation 2.

> for him. Slowly I walked to my room dazed
> 'this Prince Demando, could he be the one I truly want' I thought.

MIKE: No.
CROW: No.
TOM: No.

> Compare to
> Haruka being a guy or a girl whenever he or she want. Yaten who is a
> guy when he doesn't transform.

CROW: Jury's still out on that one, sister.

> Prince Demando is the only one who is
> more man then the two could ever be.

MIKE: Michiru, you're a LESBIAN! You don't LIKE men!

> Slowly I crawled in to bed, little angels lift me to a world of
> dreams

TOM: Whoops! Somebody forgot to take her medicine today!

> as my eyes felt heavy, slowly closing.

MIKE: Good, Michiru. When you awaken, you will find that everyone
around you is naked!

> I woke up, I was in
> her bed,

CROW: Drew! You wildwoman!

> but her room seemed different. In front of her bed two
> French doors covered in white silk that slowly floated through a
> serene breeze.

TOM: Odd, the doors seemed Spanish last night.

> The room calm and quite. The two doors drifted open, a bright light
> shines from behind. He appeared.

CROW: What the hell is David Copperfield doing here?

> "Who are you?" her voice echoed in the room.
> "Michiru" he said coming closer.

CROW: (Michiru) Weird, that's my name, too!

> I'm afraid, grabbed my covers
> clutching them tight.

MIKE: (Michiru) Oh, if only I had powers or something so I could fight
him!

> I felt her self standing, still holding the
> covers, her clothes off. He walked closed to her, his close faded
> from him. All I had covering her is her blanket.

TOM: Mike, reading this makes me dizzy.
MIKE: Go with it, Tom, it helps.

> "Don't hide from me" he said to her. He pulled her closer to
> him. A light kiss in the lips. He pulled away for a second.

TOM: (Demando) You taste like quiche!

> I dropped her
> blankets and kissed him on the lips. In the background I herd him
> say "Don't hide from me" "don't run from me" repeat over. I laid in
> her bed again, next to her he laid.

TOM: Hmm. Well, not the most exciting Henti scene in the world, but
at least it was short.

> "I want you Michiru" he said to her.

TOM: Oh. Damn.

> He moved on top of her moving into her. I gasped from the intrusion.
> He moved deeper, then pulled out, and back in again. I screamed out
> him name "Demando!" weak at first, but the hard and faster he moved
> the louder and higher I screamed.

TOM: Now somebody! Anybody! Everybody! SCREAM!
ALL: Aaaaaaaa!

> I finally reached to the point where I felt a strange passion in
> her body, it burst through her veins, and screamed through her body.

CROW: Ooh, sounds painful.
MIKE: Well, at least it's better than marrying Tom Green.

> He stopped resting in her. Her breathing rapid.

MIKE: Her writing vapid.

> He kissed her on the lips moving in her mouth feeling everything in
> her mouth.

CROW: Who's she talking about now, Mike?
MIKE: Uh, Uma Thurman.
CROW: Cool!
TOM: Say what you want about this fanfic, it's got some pretty hot
Henti scenes!

> His tongue broke from her mouth moving down her neck to her breast
> where he feasted on her succulent nipple, theat harden as his tongue
> moved on it. Not able to take the intensity longer I grabbed his
> hand placing it on her other breast.

TOM: (Michiru) No...no... like THIS. Move it around more. Come on,
you're not even trying!

> He grasped her breast squeezing it first making her scream then he
> rubbed it in a rhythmic motion.

CROW: Hey, he's playing the bongos!

> Her back arch up.

MIKE: By an interesting coincidence, she's served billions and
billions, too.

> He switched, trading places, sucking on her other nipple and other
> hand rubbing the breast he had. The feeling was to great for her, I
> never wanted it to end.

TOM: Kudos to this story for having an accurate, brutal description
of the pain that rape victims experience.

> "Michiru" he said soft at "Michiru" his voice changed, more like
> a female's

MIKE: Whoops, reverse puberty.

> "Michiru" His face changed "Michiru" It looked more
> like Setsuna and she was yelling at her. I woke up, her room filled
> with light and Setsuna yelling at her to wake up.
> "Setsuna? Why are you waking me up?" I asked confused.
> "It is three in the afternoon,

CROW: Ya slacker!

> and there is
> another monster attacking, we must go NOW" she shouted. Setsuna
> transformed in to Sailor Pluto. I grabbed her transform pen and
> transformed to Sailor Neptune. Both ran out to the fight.
>
> When they got to the scene Mercury just finished the monster,

MIKE, CROW: (Laugh hysterically)

> Neptune nor Pluto could make out what it was. The monster turned to
> ashes then blew away.
> "Sorry we're late" Pluto said when they got in to ear shot

MIKE: Man, it's gotta be really embarassing to be late for stuff when
you're the guardian of time, huh?

> "What happened?" Neptune asked
> "Another monster attacked, and it absorbed my attacks!" Mars
> complained.

CROW: I bet it's even more embarassing to be unable to kill something
that Sailor Mercury has no problem with.

> Just then an extremely hot wind blew by. For a quick
> second a star shined, then died out. Where the star was *he*
> appeared.

TOM: WHO?!! GOOD GOD, DON'T KEEP US IN SUSPENSE!!
MIKE: Gah! Don't do that!

> The inner scouts stood guard, so did Uranus and Pluto,
> Tuxedo Kamen held to Moon possessively.

CROW: How does one moon possessively?

> Neptune looked to him, I knew he was looking straight to her,
> her fearful eyes and hunting eyes.

MIKE: Her cold eyes and gathering eyes...

> Uranus felt that I might be in danger, she grabbed me holding
> possessively. I shook myself from Uranus's arms mad at her.

TOM: Great! Now why'd she find it so difficult to do that to Demando
last night?

> Prince Demando with a smile disappeared.
>
> "Usagi, who is Prince Demando?"

MIKE: (Usagi) That guy who was just here, dumbass.

> I asks her.

CROW: So I says to Usagi, I says...

> They had just left the area and stopped by at a restaurant to talk,
> after Usagi give I some clothes.
> "He was a foe who attacked in the future and came to the past
> to get us when earth was weak and vulnerable"

MIKE: The eighties.

> "He also had a crush on Usagi, he kidnaped her twice" Makoto
> adds. Usagi shuttered.

CROW: Makoto venitian blinded.

> "Thanks for giving me nightmares, Mako-chan" Usagi said
> sarcastic.
> "You said he died, and you saw it, how did he die?" I asked
> curiously.
> "I used my forbidden attack, time stop, making him freeze, long
> enough for Usagi to get her crystals." Setsuna said.

TOM: Her flavor crystals.

> "Then I killed him." Usagi said "I still can't believed he
> kissed me"

CROW: (Michiru) Well...did he fondle your breasts?! HUH?!

> My feelings to him changed 'how could he want me after he went of
> Usagi?' I thought.

CROW: This is feminist, right?
MIKE: Um, no.
CROW: Well, Coyote Ugly was feminist, so this should be too.
MIKE: I stand corrected.

> "We have trouble ahead, These monsters keep attacking when
> there are three of us together, and how is it Prince Demando is
> still alive"
> Ami said interrupting everyone conversation.

TOM: Hey! Wait your turn, jerk!
CROW: Jeez, you kill one little monster and suddenly you gotta be the
center of attention.

> "Just happened to be looking out huh?" I whispered to
> Haruka. "I noticed that the monsters attacked at the same place" I
> says out loud for every one to hear,

MIKE: No you didn't. You whispered it.
TOM: Why is Michiru talking like she's from Brooklyn all of a sudden?

> and I kept an eye on Haruka,
> I know that he knows I is watching him.

TOM: Now she's talking like Churchy LaFemme!

> "Makoto, you where there at both attacks tell us in detail
> what happened, do not skip any thing"

CROW: (Makoto) Well, first the earth cooled. Then the dinosaurs came,
but they all got fat and died and turned into oil...

> "Well, there is a new club just for men opening, and we
> wanted to crash it, Haruka, Minaka and I. Haruka as a man

MIKE: If she's a man, then she's welcome there. If she's welcome
there, it ain't crashing.

> started walking to
> the place when the monster attacked, it happened like that, both
> times."
>
> "Haruka you said you wouldn't do that" I stormed to her when
> they got home.

MIKE: (Haruka) Let's compromise. I won't go to crash men's only
clubs, as long as you don't cheat on me with villians and Starlights.
Deal?

> "Well I never actually said that I wouldn't"
> "Don't be playing that American president crap on me, you
> should
> know I won't fall for it!"

TOM: (Michiru) I know you were really out with Anette Benning!

> I blazing in her eyes full of furry.

MIKE: Ouch, better wash those out.

> Haruka realized something is wrong with her, I had never been this
> mad at her, never.

CROW: Except for that time she turned into a man right in the middle
of...well, y'know.

> The door bell rings.

MIKE: Way to go, Mr. Huxtable, I knew you could do it!

> Haruka and I both hears
> Setsuna getting up to get the door.
> "Is something wrong with you? You seem different Michiru"

MIKE: (Haruka) Almost as if you're... badly written.

> Haruka says with concern.
> "Michiru, there is a gift of two dozen red roses and three
> rare blue moon roses

TOM: Only slightly more rare than the amazing Teenager In Love rose.

> for you." Setsuna calls from below. At first I
> thought that it was from Haruka, but the blue moon roses, it had to
> of been from some one with a lot of money,

CROW: Like Haruka.

> Yaten.

CROW: No, Haruka.

> I remembers three shooting
> stars, could the starlights be coming over? Quickly I ran to the
> roses, hoping Setsuna did not read the card. Setsuna had not.

MIKE: Didn't want to gross herself out.

> I looked to the roses smelling their sweat sent.

CROW: How romantic!

> The card read.
> 'To my dearest Michiru,
> we'll be in close by for a month, I have
> been looking forward to be seeing your
> elegant face.
> Your lover, Yaten.'

ALL: GYAAAH!!
MIKE: Jeez, warn us when you're gonna do that, fanfic!

> I blushes, feeling excited that he'll be around.
> "So who is it from? A fan?" Haruka asks
> "Yea, a fan."

TOM: (Michiru) It looks to be a piece of fiction, and...oh dear god.

> I says taking then to her room. Setsuna looks
> to Haruka,
> "What's with her?"

CROW: (Haruka) She's being stalked by a Starlight. Here, take this
elephant gun, you might need it.

> "Beats me, I feel she keeps secretes even from me."

<All get up to leave>

MIKE: (Haruka) Yeah, she's supposed to give me everything she
secretes, but lately she's been holding out on me!

<Reverse door sequence, ends with Tom, Mike, and Crow on the SOL
bridge>

TOM: Okay, so, leggy, Japanese schoolgirls, each with the own unique
hairstyle and special superpower, team up to prevent various Japanese-
speaking aliens and demons from destroying Japan.

MIKE: Yes...

TOM: One of the schoolgirls is named Michiru, and, despite having the
personality and brains of a bottle of Sprite, she is courted by
basically every man who sees her.

MIKE: No. See, now, there's where the story leads you wrong.

CROW: She's really a lesbian!

MIKE: Yes, and not even the main character. Usagi's the main
character.

TOM: Oh. So I take it she's not nearly as whiney and annoying on the
actual show, then.

CROW: No, she is. Except, on the show, she gets 95% of the screen
time in every episode.

TOM: I see.

CROW: (sighing, shaking his head) Dammit, Mike, this just isn't the
right way to introduce him to the embarassingly addictive wonder that
is Sailor Moon.

MIKE: You're right. If only there was some way to let him see the
true beauty of this brightly-colored cartoon aimed at young girls.

<Light on table starts flashing>

MIKE: Hold on guys, Holy Mary Mother of Pearl is calling.

{CASTLE}

OBSERVER: Actually, Pearl is currently blow-drying her hair, a process
which takes a full three hours on a good day. Anyway, I couldn't help
but overhear your conversation, seeing as how I am omniscient, and
all. You were talking about Sailor Moon, correct?

{SOL}

MIKE: Yep. We were just trying to explain it to Tom.

{CASTLE}

OBSERVER: Well, maybe I can be of assistance. You see, I happen to
have the entire library of subtitled Sailor Moon episodes. I've been
a fan ever since that fateful day I turned on the television and saw
Mizuno Ami standing there, talking about studying. <He sighs, and
begins talking dreamily to himself.> Ah, sweet Ami-sama. Why do you
torture me with your continued nonexistance?

{SOL}

MIKE: Um, Brain Guy?

{CASTLE}

OBSERVER: What? Oh, yes! The point is, if your little friend there
wishes to acquaint himself with the series, I would be perfectly
willing to send up my tapes for his perusal.

{SOL}

MIKE: Well, thanks, Observer, that's right neighborly of you.

{CASTLE}

OBSERVER: Don't mention it. <He does the shaky-head teleportation
thing.> Now, just remember, if these get damaged, I will use my
nigh-impossible powers to turn you all into... goats, or something.
And, please don't tell anyone that I have these, okay? Bobo seems to
think video tapes are a good source of roughage.

{SOL, which is now filled to the gills with video tapes}

MIKE: Don't worry about it.

TOM: Guys, if I watch these, will I be a nerd?

CROW: Yup, just like us. <He cackles.> This is great! I'm gonna
find the episode where Minako and Makoto have sex! There's gotta be
one.

<Lights on table begin flashing>

MIKE: We'll be right back. And hey, thanks again, Observer.

<Commercial eyecatch>

Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.