[VOY] Cynics Corner Review: "Alice"
David E. Sluss
O
R Star Trek: Voyager: "Alice"
N as reviewed by David E. Sluss
E
R copyright (c) 1999 Tiger Bay Publishing
Spoilers ahead!
THE BOTTOM LINE: Voyager does "Christine," and Stephen King must feel
like he's been run over again.
CYNICS CORNER RATING: 4.5
VOYAGER CLICHE OF THE WEEK: "There's an unauthorized shuttle launch!"
"Close the door!" "Too late!" In the history of Voyager (and Star
Trek in general), has an unauthorized shuttle launch ever been stopped
in the shuttle bay?
VOYAGER CLICHE OF THE WEEK RUNNER-UP: A couple more mentions of the
hated deuterium appear in this episode. By now, Braga and company
must have heard of the problem with Voyager's treatment of the
real-world substance; it's as if they are deliberately ignoring it
and/or giving the middle finger to those who like a little science in
their science fiction. In any case, it seems to be turning into an
idiotic running gag, like DS9's Alamo and waste extraction comments.
LAUGH LINE OF THE WEEK: Chakotay says "We already have a full
complement of shuttles." Not for long, I'll wager. Given the number
of shuttles Voyager loses, the commander should have been a little
more supportive.
CONTRIVANCE OF THE WEEK: Rarely do Voyager's energy conservation
measures come up, and it's a tough break for Paris that Voyager
happened to be running low just as he needed to replicate some parts.
Of course if the situation were that dire on Voyager, he shouldn't
have been permitted to replicate champagne either...
CONTRIVANCE OF THE WEEK RUNNER-UP: Gee, Voyager never would have
found Alice or Paris after the great escape if Paris (and Alice)
hadn't been dumb enough to plot his course on the 150-inch screen in
astrometrics where anyone walking in the room could see it. At least
lock the door, numb-nuts.
BONUS CONTRIVANCES OF THE WEEK: Alice tells Paris as they near the
particle fountain that "No one has gotten me this close before." Why
not? It's not as though it was very far from the junkyard (or at
least it didn't seem to take much time to get there). Either Alice's
past pilots were total incompetents, or Paris was the only one stupid
enough or weak-willed enough to allow himself to be killed in the
fountain. And speaking of spatial anomalies, it's interesting that
even though Alice went directly to the fountain, while Voyager went
back to the junkyard, negotiated with the alien of the week, fiddled
with the astrometrics television, and only then proceeded to the
fountain, Voyager still got there only ten minutes after Alice. How
conveeeeeenient.
MYSTERY OF THE WEEK: No explanation for Alice's desire to "go home"
via this week's spatial anomaly is offered. Was "she" just funny in
the head? Was she suicidal? Was the "particle fountain" supposed to
be a doorway to the dimension that was her home? What?
MYSTERY OF THE WEEK RUNNER-UP: Strange that no one on the ship had
any concerns about the neural interface until it was too late. The
ship connects directly to the pilot's brain, and yet Janeway doesn't
insist that the technology be investigated before allowing Paris to
tinker with it. When Paris tells the first officer about the
interface, Chakotay the chump sits there like some Alzheimer's case
while the information soars right over his head and into the spirit
realm. And the captain seems out of the loop entirely when B'Elanna
reports to her, not knowing what the name "Alice" refers to and
seeming to be barely aware of the shuttle and its interface. It seems
irresponsible and incredibly out of character for a captain usually
portrayed as a meddler and a micromanager to be this unaware of the
goings-on on her ship.
BETTER LIVING THROUGH (NO) CHEMISTRY OF THE WEEK: Am I the only one
who thinks this Paris/Torres thing doesn't work at all? Neither
Dawson nor McNeill is the strongest performer in the world, of course,
but the real problem is that they seem to dislike each other, or at
least they did in the closing sickbay scene this week. "Torres" rolls
her eyes and looks disgusted when she hugs "Paris," and the closing
kiss looked like it came from some 1950's TV show, with the censor
standing by.
TECHNOMIRACLE OF THE WEEK: Janeway calls the Doctor and asks, "Have
you learned anything about the neural link?" The Doctor says he
hasn't. Five minutes later, despite admittedly knowing nothing, he
uses the link to send an image of B'Elanna into Paris' mind. Huh?
Was the Doctor pulling a "Scotty" and lowballing, so that he would
look like a miracle-worker? Or was this just a big load from the
writers? Vote early, vote often...
NEXT WEEK: Watch history in the faking once again, as "Dark Frontier"
reruns.
--
// David E. Sluss (The Cynic) \\ // "I'm impatient with \\
//_________ sluss%dhp.com _________\\//__ stupidity. My people have __\\
\\ Cynics Corner Interactive //\\ learned to live without it." //
\\ http://users.dhp.com/~sluss // \\ Klaatu //