TNG Episode Review: ST:TNC - "11001001"
Phil Kernick
Episode: 116
Title: 11001001
Stardate: 41365.9
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The Enterprise is going to see a mechanic for its 500 StarDate
service. The mechanics are the Bynars - a race so attached to their
computers that they are even more geeky than first-year computer
scientists.
Since they have only 48 hours to complete the repairs they bring in a
second pair of geeks to help with the work. Haven't they heard of
Brooks' Law? Adding more programmers to a late job, just makes it
later! Wesley is fascinated, as he has finally found someone more
geeky that he is. The Bynars start shutting down unoccupied sections
of the ship in preparation for the upgrade.
Data is trying to find out whether he can be creative, so Geordi is
helping him to paint. Riker wanders in and giggles, as he thinks that
it is hugely funny that a blind man is teaching an android to paint. I
wonder how much he would be laughing with a visor stuffed where the
sun doesn't shine?
Now that Riker has derided his bridge crew, he feels it is time to
hone his skills on someone new - someone really new - a holodeck
creation. The Bynars are playing with the holodeck and tell Riker that
they have enhanced its capabilities. He asks for an intimate audience
and gets a sultry red-head in a 1958 New Orleans sleaze-pit, just his
style. He wipes the floor with his tongue on the way over to see
Minuet - his new plaything.
Riker proves that while he is almost worthless as an officer, he is
just about as good a trombone player - even his holodeck creations
don't like it! Riker asks Minuet how far their relationship can go,
but before he can fully explore that avenue, Picard barges in. Minuet
croons to the captain in French, much to the disappointment of Riker,
as it now looks like it will be a threesome.
Things are not going as well on the rest of the ship, as the
anti-matter containment field is failing and the Enterprise looks like
it will end its days as a torch. As a precaution, Data orders the
immediate evacuation of the ship and programs a course away from all
known inhabitated planets. He and Geordi are the last to leave, or so
they think...
On the Starbase no-one has seen Riker or Picard and the Bynars are
also conspicuous in their absence. As the Enterprise leaves the
StarBase, the antimatter containment field stabilises and the
Enterprise warps away. During all of this Riker, Picard and Minuet
have been chatting in the holodeck.
After further idle banter, it becomes clear to Riker and Picard that
they won't be getting any action out of Minuet, and so they attempt to
leave to search for other conquests. She tries to stall them, and they
finally realise that they have been hijacked. Their destination is
Bynarus, much to no-one's surprise.
Finding that they have been denied access to the bridge, Riker and
Picard head to the Enterprise's Weapons Room. Pardon? Weapons Room?
That's what it said on the door anyway. They then head to engineering
with their electric shavers and set the self-destruct. Isn't vandalism
a crime in the 24th century?
They beam into the bridge, but there is no action there either, since
the Bynars are lying unconscious on the floor. As there is no foe left
to attack, they cancel the auto-destruct. I think they should have
torched the geeks on the floor where they lay - teach them not to mess
with StarFleet - but no, this is a caring and sharing StarFleet! Uggh.
The Bynarus main computer has been switched off, and with it all the
little geeks. I wish it were that simple in RealLife(TM). Before they
collapsed though, they managed to core-dump their world into the
Enterprise. Not a bad trick, that one. So all they need is for someone
to reload the data and reboot the machine. Reboot it with a few photon
torpedoes to the planet's core would be the best way!
Our entrepid captain manages to do it with less hassles that rebooting
a DecStation and flies the Enterprise back to the StarBase, where he
graciously hands the Bynars over for a slap on their binary digits.
Roll credits...
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The Enterprise is stolen by a group of well-meaning geeks, and Picard
doesn't seem to mind! It's their way, no doubt. I'm amazed that
StarFleet manages to function at all!
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This review is Copyright © 1994, Phil Kernick.
Permission is granted for anyone to electronically distribute it -
details available on request.
--
_-_|\ Phil Kernick "Women! Can't live with them,
/ \ Flinders University can't do most positions
\_.-*_/ E-Mail: ph...@ringo.ssn.flinders.edu.au without them."
v Phone: +61 8 201 3037 -- Dan Fielding