Samples of Conquistador by S.M. Stirling
Bo Johansson
novel "Conquistador" can be found at
http://hem.passagen.se/bohjohan/books/conqui/conqui_cv.html
// Bo Johansson
P.S. They are there with the authors blessing.
Walter R. Strapps
Damn, I was sort of hoping the answer for Niven's Law would be 'Nazi
dork-boy' :) But I guess that's reserved for people who assume that
what a person says on Usenet despite attempted ret-conning by the author
is actually what they mean.
Cheers,
Walter R. Strapps
S.M. Stirling
-- thanks, Bo! It's nice that there's so much encouraging buzz on
this one; I'll drop by later to check for discussion.
S.M. Stirling
-- thanks, Bo! It's nice that the general buzz is so good on this
one. I'll check by later for discussion.
Gareth Wilson
> -- thanks, Bo! It's nice that the general buzz is so good on this
> one. I'll check by later for discussion.
It does look interesting. The settlers are a lot less sympathetic than I expected. This "kiwi" they're eating in
New Virginia, is that FirstSide New Zealand stock or from the alternate China?
--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gareth Wilson
Christchurch
New Zealand
http://www.gareth.wilson.name/
al-Qaa'ida laazim makhruuba
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mike Ralls
Oakland: "They had a lot of problems there during the war, couple of
near-miss bombings"
What war? Some hypothetical war between now and 2009? Making near-
term predictions is always a bit risky, because the future has a way
of becoming the present. The war on terror? Or is this one of
those "little things" that lets us know this isn't our world?
"Imperialistic Faction" Interesting . . . the idea of conquering the
world has to hold some appeal to these people, and they probably have
a decent chance at getting a lot of the best bits if they tried.
"chuckled. "Of course, it could have looked like a collection of
frozen intestines or a chemical plant instead, in this progressive
age.""
Come on. Modern archetecture seems to be improving from it's nadir.
""We do a lot of that," she said. "God knows, with nearly fifty
million people in California, it's needed.""
Woe. What happened? California was at 35, last I heard. That's
close to an extra 16 million in eight years? Another difference?
"definitely younger than me, and I'd say at least four, five years
younger, Gen--Y"
Let's see in 2009 I'll be . . . 31. Damn. She's younger than me.
That's not right. I'm the young one, damnit. Time should stop aging
right now. I hate it whenever I see something that makes me feel old
like this.
"conservation. She's just a nice, smart -- " very rich, very
sophisticated, very beautiful "-girl, Roy. " The leaving things out
of the conversation and putting them in the text is an interesting
technique. I'm sure I've seen it before, but it flows so easily in
the text that I've never really noticed it before.
"Wait a minute," Tom whispered. "You mean it's not related to the
known condors?" We all know where the condor comes from and why. I
wonder how the novel would have been written if the end point was a
mystery. That is, we're just as clueless as characters and have to
try and figure it out. The trouble with that is that it would be in
the sci-fi section, so we'd at least have a better guess. I wonder
if any novels or movies have been mysterious with the only the ending
being sci-fish?
"that. Now that the war's over and the Asian part of the Pacific Rim
is booming harder than ever," The lack of an Environmental Ethic has
really struck me while I'm here living in Asia.
"closeting himself with the Batyushkov on equal terms, and taking the
effort to learn Russian drinking rituals." Hmmm . . . I think it
would be interesting to learn Russian and other drinking rituals.
For anyone who cares, the chief difference in Japanese drinking is
that you don't drink until everyone starts drinking by saying, "Kan-
pai!" and then you never fill up your glass. Instead, others fill it
up for you and you fill theres. To signal you don't want to drink
anymore, just don't drink any of your glass, but leave it completely
full. There are more than that, but that's the basics.
"Operation Downfall is complete and we need no longer rely upon
them." Hmm . . . Operation Downfall was the code name for the
invasion of Kyushu, Japan. Never happened because of the a-bomb.
Any relivance? Probably not. Probably just a cool name.
"Oh," Barnes said. "I think I might like to open a burger joint. I
figure you owe me the seed money." Interesting. I like the
flashback and conection aspect to this. It keeps me flipping back
(something a lot easier with electronic searches) to check on
things.
"and Turtledove" Nice plug for a friend. Hmm . . . in 2009 I expect
the Great War series to be just about done. ;)
"our contacts on FirstSide. None of the missiles there could reach
California. . . but there might be a Soviet submarine off the coast.
Or even inside the Bay." Interesting to see FirstSide politics
effect the otherside. I sure as hell would have wanted to have been
on the Otherside during the Cuban Misle Crisis.
"Here Alexander the Great hadn't died in Babylon in 323 BC." Rather
a lot to learn in just 16 years. How long did it take to go over to
Europe, learn the language, and then look up the history books?
History in old days wasn't as common as in our own time.
"we could get any number of workers from the kings and warlords down
in Mexico, but we're keeping our bracero program strictly limited."
Smart policy in the long run. It's suprising how few colonial
societies do it.
--
Mike Ralls
Amaent nos quum vincemus.
The SHWI Book of the month: The Historical Jesus
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/shwibooks
My Alternate History Writings
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WorksofRalls
raycun
> novel "Conquistador" can be found at
> http://hem.passagen.se/bohjohan/books/conqui/conqui_cv.html
>
Um, wow.
Having heard all the discussions about Stirling on here I had to give
that a try.
Unfortunately I had to stop reading after a couple of paragraphs of
the prologue - if I'd had any more information thrown at me it would
have taken them weeks to dig me out.
Ray
sophia
Stirling <joats...@aol.com> writes
>
>-- thanks, Bo! It's nice that there's so much encouraging buzz on
>this one; I'll drop by later to check for discussion.
Please don't.
--
Sophia
Faith in Fabulousness
www.arxana.demon.co.uk/
Dan Swartzendruber
sop...@arxana.demon.co.uk says...
> In article <4536f356.02091...@posting.google.com>, S.M.
> Stirling <joats...@aol.com> writes
> >
> >-- thanks, Bo! It's nice that there's so much encouraging buzz on
> >this one; I'll drop by later to check for discussion.
>
> Please don't.
Please feel free to killfile Steve rather than requesting he stay away.
John Schilling
>> Please don't.
That is usually not sufficient defense against a skillful troll or flamer.
--
*John Schilling * "Anything worth doing, *
*Member:AIAA,NRA,ACLU,SAS,LP * is worth doing for money" *
*Chief Scientist & General Partner * -13th Rule of Acquisition *
*White Elephant Research, LLC * "There is no substitute *
*schi...@spock.usc.edu * for success" *
*661-951-9107 or 661-275-6795 * -58th Rule of Acquisition *
S.M. Stirling
> It does look interesting. The settlers are a lot less sympathetic than I expected. This "kiwi" they're eating in New Virginia, is that FirstSide New Zealand stock or from the alternate China?
-- FirstSide stock, from NZ and California. No point in duplicating
all the work breeding suitable varieties.
S.M. Stirling
> It does look interesting. The settlers are a lot less sympathetic than I expected. This "kiwi" they're eating in New Virginia, is that FirstSide New Zealand stock or from the alternate China?
-- FirstSide stock, from NZ and California. No point in duplicating
JoatSimeon
-- glad you like it.
It's been getting excellent feedback from people who've seen the ms., and the
publisher thinks they can bump sales up another notch from "Peshawar Lancers",
which did very well.
>The settlers are a lot less sympathetic than I expected.
-- well, I'm trying for a realistic feel here. Frontiers tend to be fairly
rough places; the migration mechanism screens out the oversensitive. It's an
amusing contrast with the Bay Area, to be sure.
JoatSimeon
prologue - if I'd had any more information thrown at me it would have taken
them weeks to dig me out.
-- I do tend to put a lot of info in; some people like it, some don't.
Obviously, I'm in the former category... 8-).
JoatSimeon
-- well, I've discovered this little technical feature which enables me to
screen out people's messages.
It seems to be working now -- hey, I never claimed to be a _computer_ genius --
and since for some reason you don't like me, I've just added your address to
the list.
I suggest you add me to yours.
You don't have to buy my books, or talk to me, or discuss 'em, if it distresses
you.
I've discovered that arguing on newsgroups is like punching pillows; it
consumes energy and nothing much results, so I've sworn off it, particularly on
unmoderated lists.
Rick
news:etApeGA7...@arxana.demon.co.uk...
> In article <4536f356.02091...@posting.google.com>, S.M.
> Stirling <joats...@aol.com> writes
> >
> >-- thanks, Bo! It's nice that there's so much encouraging buzz on
> >this one; I'll drop by later to check for discussion.
>
> Please don't.
>
Please ignore her. I read the sample chapters and the book looks
interesting. If I can't have more ISOT novels, I need SOMETHING to go on...
JoatSimeon
>Please ignore her.
-- oh, no problem, I will.
>I read the sample chapters and the book looks interesting. If I can't have
more ISOT novels, I need SOMETHING to go on...
-- Glad you enjoyed 'em.
I've had CONQUISTADOR bubbling at the back of my mind for a long time; since
the early 80's, in fact.
It's a different book than it would have been if I'd written it then, of
course; I like to think my technique has improved, and I've mellowed out a bit.
On the other hand, it's also not quite the same book that I would have written
if the idea for it had come to me recently. Large chunks have been 'around'
since its genesis.
That made writing it an interesting experience; sort of like a collaboration
with myself.
Rick
news:20020917202533...@mb-mq.aol.com...
> I've had CONQUISTADOR bubbling at the back of my mind for a long time;
since
> the early 80's, in fact.
>
> It's a different book than it would have been if I'd written it then, of
> course; I like to think my technique has improved, and I've mellowed out a
bit.
>
> On the other hand, it's also not quite the same book that I would have
written
> if the idea for it had come to me recently. Large chunks have been
'around'
> since its genesis.
>
> That made writing it an interesting experience; sort of like a
collaboration
> with myself.
>
Know what you mean. I wrote over half a novel back in 88-89, before I had a
computer, and had someone accidentally throw out the only copy of the
manuscript. I was headed into the Army at the time and didn't have time to
try and re-do the thing until 1995-6. It was interesting trying to
reconcile what I had written before the end of the Cold War to what I had to
write afterward...
Dan Goodman
news:am85ks$8vq$1...@spock.usc.edu:
> Dan Swartzendruber <dsw...@druber.com> writes:
>
>>In article <etApeGA7...@arxana.demon.co.uk>,
>>sop...@arxana.demon.co.uk says...
>>> In article <4536f356.02091...@posting.google.com>, S.M.
>>> Stirling <joats...@aol.com> writes
>
>>> >-- thanks, Bo! It's nice that there's so much encouraging buzz on
>>> >this one; I'll drop by later to check for discussion.
>
>>> Please don't.
>
>>Please feel free to killfile Steve rather than requesting he stay
>>away.
>
>
> That is usually not sufficient defense against a skillful troll or
> flamer.
Merry Plonkmas!
Mark Reichert
> Oakland: "They had a lot of problems there during the war, couple of
> near-miss bombings"
> What war? Some hypothetical war between now and 2009? Making near-
I think someplace indicates 'the war' is the proposed invasion of Iraq.
Mark Reichert
> That is usually not sufficient defense against a skillful troll or flamer.
I don't think Mr. Stirling is going to change his e-mail address from
joatsimeon just to escape killfiles.
JoatSimeon
>I think someplace indicates 'the war' is the proposed invasion of Iraq.
-- that's part of it, but it's nowhere defined exactly.
After all, people don't go around telling each other things they know... 8-).
JoatSimeon
>It was interesting trying to reconcile what I had written before the end of
the Cold War to what I had to write afterward...
-- snarf! Yeah, that's one reason I don't do near-future SF any more, unless
it's also alternate history.
Events have a way of moving faster than you can write.
I was working on a WWIII novel in 1989 myself. Then that party-pooper
Gorbachev went and cut it out from under me. 8-).
>
Mark Reichert
> I've discovered that arguing on newsgroups is like punching pillows; it
> consumes energy and nothing much results, so I've sworn off it, particularly on
> unmoderated lists.
A wise policy. I hope you don't mind me starting up a thread
discussing the point of divergence. Granted it is another in a LONG
line of threads discussing what would have happened if Alexander had
died of old age.
A shorter list is those discussing what would have happened if he had
died younger, like Josiah Ober in "What If?". His point might have
been the same mentioned elsewhere, where, as you probably know, in
leading a charge, Alexander got hit the helmet once before one of his
men dispatched the man who'd hit him. If that man had had a few extra
seconds to strike a fatal blow, the world could be as different as the
one in your book.
Dan Goodman
news:20020917221940...@mb-mq.aol.com:
My memory says there were such novels coming out for a couple months after
Russia seceded from the Soviet Union. I suspect they were too far along in
the pipeline to be stopped.
Futurology is one of my favorite forms of humor. There's the Earl of
Birkenhead's _The World in 2030_, published in 1930. Among other things, he
explained why, in the unlikely event of another general war in Europe, it
would be conducted in a much more civilized way than the Great War.
JoatSimeon
>There's the Earl of Birkenhead's _The World in 2030_, published in 1930. Among
other things, he explained why, in the unlikely event of another general war in
Europe, it would be conducted in a much more civilized way than the Great War.
-- yes, prediction tends to make everyone who does it look rather silly. SF is
full of examples like that.
Those giant nuclear rockets navigated with slide-rules, for example.
We're undoubtedly making mistakes just as bad right now.
That's one reason why I tend to stick to alternate history.
>
>
>
>
>
JoatSimeon
>I hope you don't mind me starting up a thread discussing the point of
divergence.
-- oh, no problem. As you say, it's a common enough AH trope. I develop this
post-Alexandrian world a bit in an appendix to CONQUISTADOR.
Any AH which meant no Europeans (or Africans or Asians) in the New World would
have done well enough, but this provides an interesting backdrop.
It's interesting to speculate whether the resulting world would have been more
or less advanced than ours. You can make a case for either; my own gut feeling
is that the Greeks were "close but no cigar" when it came to the sciences.
I agree with Mumford (and Poul Anderson) that Christianity, and particularly
Latin Christianity as it developed in our Middle Ages, was crucial to the
development of a true science in the early-modern West. Of course, that owed a
deep debt to Greek thought too.
> If that man had had a few extra seconds to strike a fatal blow, the world
could be as different as the one in your book.
-- true; Alexander was a really pivotal individual.
His father Philip was only middle-aged, and would almost certainly have beaten
the Persians if he'd lived to head the campaign, but I doubt he'd have gone far
beyond Babylon, or maybe Persepolis.
Darius offered half his kingdom to Alexander. One of his companions
(Paremenion, I think, but I'd have to look it up) said "I'd take it, if I were
you, Alexander."
Alexander said: "And if I were you, Parmenion, I would too."
JoatSimeon
that the margins were doing odd things.
Mark Whittington
> > novel "Conquistador" can be found at
> > http://hem.passagen.se/bohjohan/books/conqui/conqui_cv.html
> >
> >
> > P.S. They are there with the authors blessing.
>
> this one; I'll drop by later to check for discussion.
I for one am looking forward to the book. Concept seems interesting.
And feel free to drop by any time.
Dan Goodman
news:20020917234405...@mb-mq.aol.com:
G.K. Chesterton tried assuming that all the experts were wrong, and wrote
_The Napoleon of Notting Hill_. The preface, in which he explains why he
took that path, is well worth reading. The story itself is okay, if you've
starved for Chesterton's work and there's nothing else available.
Chesterton didn't do better than anyone else at prediction, by the way.
Seems you can't even count on the forecasters to be wrong.
JoatSimeon
>I for one am looking forward to the book. Concept seems interesting.
>
>And feel free to drop by any time.
-- will do. Hope you enjoy the book.
JoatSimeon
>Chesterton didn't do better than anyone else at prediction, by the way. Seems
you can't even count on the forecasters to be wrong.
-- it's another case of "you can't outguess the market". Anyone who could
_really_ predict the future would be very rich!
It is possible to predict things in a general sense.
Eg., by about 1934, most thoughtful Europeans knew another world war was
coming, although of course there was a lot of denial.
And it's generally a safe bet to say that technological progress will occurr,
but much more dangerous to say just what sort.
Those 1950's rockets-with-slide-rule stories illustrate the most common
mistake, which is straight-line extrapolation.
As it turned out, the 50's and 60's were when the upward curve of increasing
speed started to flatten out again. That's the usual thing: you get a slow
start, accelerating progress, then very rapid progress as the basic problems
are solved...
... and then things slow down again as all the easy stuff gets accomplished.
Airplanes were doing about 30-50 mph with the Wright brothers, up to a bit over
100 mph in WWI, up to around 350 mph by 1939, up to 550 mph by the end of WWII,
and then into the supersonic range in the 1950's.
And then in the 1960's it plateaued. Airliners now fly at about the same speed
as the first commercial jets. Military aircraft are still at about the same
speeds achieved in the 60's too. Rockets haven't improved much either.
It turns out to be very hard and require fundamental breakthroughs in materials
to go much faster or to lift bigger weights at the top (rocket) speeds.
In the meantime, they missed the real story, which was in electronics -- the
computers they anticipated were the size of houses.
I think we SFnal types are probably overestimating future progress in computers
and AI, and underestimating some field where the real dramatic breakthroughs
will occur.
Biotech would be my guess, since the theoretical breakthroughs are just
starting to be translated into useful products.
If so, this will be a souce of many SFnal embarassments by the 2030's, 40's and
50's.
Eg., stories dependent on infectious diseases, or on there being blind or deaf
people around in any number. I would be very surprised if advances in
anti-aging treatments weren't available by then, too.
I'd also guess that human/machine interfaces will be significant; direct neural
input and output to artificial sensors and so forth.
The problem is that it's _really_ difficult to guess the social consequences;
Heinlein was better than most at predicting technological innovations (not
good, but nobody is) but rather bad at the way they'd affect mores and customs.
The only prediction about the world of 2030 that I'd feel safe in making is
that it will surprise us.
Robert Whelan
> Sample chapters (prologue and chapters 1 to 4) of S.M. Stirling's next
> novel "Conquistador" can be found at
> http://hem.passagen.se/bohjohan/books/conqui/conqui_cv.html
>
> // Bo Johansson
>
> P.S. They are there with the authors blessing.
Comments on the prologue. Text commented on is indented. My comments are
not.
Cover Prologue 1 2 3 4
CONQUISTADOR
by S.M. Stirling <joats...@aol.com>
_________________________________________________________________
Prologue:
Oakland, California
April 17, 1946
FirstSide/New Virginia:
" John Rolfe had rented the house for seventy-five a month, which
sounded extortionate but was something close to reasonable, given the
way costs had gone crazy in the Bay Area since Pearl Harbor. The
landlord was willing because Rolfe promised to do the badly-needed
repairs himself, *and because he had a soft spot for soldiers -- his
son had died on Okinawa, where Rolfe had taken three rounds from a
Nambu machine-gun and gotten a Silver Star, a medical discharge and
months on his back in a military hospital.*" ....
I would eliminate this line, even if the landlord happens to be an
important character later. As it is, it seems inserted clumsily, and
it's too soon in the story for the reader to be encountering odd
coincidences, such as Rolfe and the landlord's son both being on
Okinawa. It's also really clumsy character development of Rolfe.
His experiences on Okinawa need to be introduced where they are natural
to the story, not jammed in so forceably. You are talking about the
house. You should focus on the house. Cut this line, and provide
the Okinawa information later.
The house was a solid
three-bedroom piece of Victoriana, a little shabby and rundown like
the area, shingle and dormers; what they called Carpenter Gothic
hereabouts, but at least it had a basement. The previous owners had
been Japanese-American, sent off to the relocation camps in 1942; then
it had been rented out to workers in the shipyards to the north, part
of the great wartime inrush, and they'd made a mess of it.
WHY bring up the previous owners? You need to establish why this
knowledge is being made available. Does the landlord tell Rolfe, or
are you, the narrator, just dumping it into the story to inform us
of the history, whether or not it relates to the story? If it relates
to the story, the knowledge should be story related. Show Rolfe
arriving at the place for the first time, encountering the landlord,
interacting with him, how the revelation of his soldiering history
softens the landlord toward him. If you don't care about
developing this, (as it seems) then leave it out until it can be
inserted somewhere appropriate to the story. That place COULD be
here, but only if you develop an actual scene. I would also cut
"What they called Carpenter Gothic hereabouts". Maybe if you had
bothered to go into the details of his arrival in town, developed
actual conversations where architectural details were brought up
by locals, or by the landlord, it would work. Otherwise, it's
just dumped in, and you haven't made it clear why we should care.
A whole house to himself was an indulgence anyway, since he was
unmarried, but he'd spent too much of the last four years on
troopships and in crowded bases and bivouacs, plus painful months in
the crowded misery of a hospital. Solitude was restful.
Well, we the reader could figure out he was unmarried, if no wife is
ever mentioned. "A whole house to himself was a luxury, after the
past four years knee-to-jowl with other soldiers." And you are
infodumping like a madman. You don't seem to care about the story,
just getting your propaganda shoved in as quickly as possible. Yeah,
we already get it. Poor miserable soldier boy, back from fighting for our
freedom. Isn't it nice that it was emptied from those Japanese previous?
(is that why you dumped that information in? Is that why you dumped
that bit about the workers at the shipyards in after? Japanese relocated,
shipyard workers for the war-effort and a wounded Okinawa survivor
reap the benefits. How nice! Japanese relocation was good!)
He rubbed his thigh as he limped out to the porch, scooping up a
bottle of milk, the mail and the newspaper.
The story could very easily start with this paragraph, and the entire
previous paragraph could be eliminated. "John Rolfe limped out to
the porch, scooping up a bottle of milk, the mail, and a newspaper."
You don't need to have him rub his thigh, especially since you go
into detail about it paining him later. The limp provides enough
information.
The mail included his
monthly check from Uncle Sam, which was welcome; every little bit
helped to stretch the modest legacy from his father, even though the
house and land back in Virginia had gone for a surprising sum.
More infodumping. End the line with "modest legacy from his father." The
rest is superfluous. Since it's his monthly check, we assume he's
got it before, and has had his legacy from his father for a while.
It might be news to the reader, but it's not news to Rolfe. If you
want pure narrator infodumping, that has to be collected and
provided purely in passage of it's own, seperate from a character
I assume the audience will be identifying with, and assuming they will be
joining, and sharing the point of view of.
There
were also a few more no-thank-yous from prospective employers. The
market for ex-Captains wasn't all that brisk, not when their only
other qualification was Virginia Military Institute. Being able to
endure Beast Barracks, run an infantry company, and take out a Nip
bunker complex. . . well, none of them were really saleable skills in
peacetime, particularly when they went with a slowly-healing gimp leg.
War heroes were a dime a dozen in the United States these days. He'd
get something eventually. . .
If your concern is telling a good story, you have to put your propaganda
in the back-seat. Propaganda as the primary motivation produces horrible
art. If you want to tell a story about how John endured Beast Barracks (
whatever they are) how he ran an infantry company, how he took out a
Nip (Nip!) bunker complex, tell that story. Maybe you are deliberately
painting him as a whiny, sorry-for-himself, self-rightous fellow, whose
feelings you don't share, but I doubt it. You are dumping background
information in, and trying to drum up cliche "Oh, the poor wounded
soldier who fought for our freedom" sympathy, even though by doing
so you make it look like this guy comes out on his front porch
every morning and obsesses about this, or obsesses every time he
gets a check from Uncle Sam. A real person (which you haven't bothered
to imagine yet) doesn't conveniently think infodump thoughts. If
you cared about him as a character, you wouldn't subject him to such.
I'm still having better luck than my grandfather, he thought.
More infodumping. Where is the character? He doesn't exist yet. He's
a patchwork of cliches and inserted background history.
John Rolfe III had lost a leg at Second Manassas, leading a regiment
of the Stonewall Brigade against the United States, under Jackson.
That had turned out to be a bad decision, at least from the viewpoint
of the family fortunes; though not as bad as gramps' subsequent one to
put everything he had into Confederate bonds as a patriotic gesture.
Of course I'd have done exactly the same thing, but there's no denying
it never pays to lose, he thought with a chuckle.
Again, does he do this EVERY morning, or have we, the reader, just
HAPPENED to intrude on his thoughts at the exact time when he just
happens to unnaturally be thinking thoughts that provide us with
his entire family history? You need to excise all of this history,
that properly belongs with a God-narrator point of view, and place
it all in the beginning, outside Rolfe's thoughts, in a narrator's
summation of all of Rolfe's family history that you think is
pertinent to the story, BEFORE he comes out on the porch.
There was also a letter from Andy O'Brien, who'd been top his
sergeant
in Baker Company until he and Rolfe were invalided out on the same
day. Enemy holdouts had infiltrated in the dark just before dawn and
nearly overrun them; it had come down to bayonets and clubbed rifles,
boots and fists and teeth, with the only the muzzle-flashes to light
chaos and terror and the stink of death.
You need to remove the infodump away from Rolfe's reaction to the
name on the letter. You need to focus on his reaction. The infodump
interferes. Reposition it to some point AFTER his reaction, that
way the reader wants to know why he's reacting.
For a moment his face froze under a film of cold sweat and the paper
crumpled in his fist as a year vanished in an instant -- remembering
the ugly crunching feel that shivered up the ruined weapon as the butt
of his Garand splintered on a Nip's face, with a splash of blood that
blinded him and ran salt and hot into his own open screaming mouth.
Remembering the bayonet poised to kill him until O'Brien smashed it
down and hacked the wielder's head half off with an entrenching tool,
roaring in a berserker fury. That cut off suddenly as the bullets
struck him like fists pounding on a block of beef and he toppled into
the officer, pawing with arms gone flaccid.
Since you are describing a MEMORY, of a physical, actual event, why
the details like the appelation "Nip"? A veteran might TALK that
way, might SAY "Nip" but a description of his physical experience
in the field shouldn't have the literary equivalent of magic-markerd
labels and arrows pointing at the images, labeling them "Nip" or
"Garand". You are describing a memory, not analyzing war footage for
a class. And, if you are deliberately magic-markering, YOUR labeling
is racist, as the author placing this inappropriate labeling on an
image.
He'd carried the big Irishman out on his back -- until that slant-eyed
bastard with the Nambu cut his left leg out from under him and broke
the bone in three places; then he'd had to crawl. . .
Why would his memory indicate that he was an "big Irishman"? You are
magic-markering in his memory again. Similarly with the "slant-eyed
bastard with the Nambu". "slant-eyed bastard" is something a veteran
might SAY. If you want, construct dialogue in which he can say it, but
if it's an actual flashback of an actual experience, you need to be
more efficient. The terror and speed of the scene described isn't
conducive to making cranky observations about the slantiness of the
Japanese man's eyes (was it the first time he'd ever seen one?) or
how much he thinks he's a bastard. And it's a memory of an actual
experience, not a weapons seminar. His memory wouldn't label the weapons
in the opponent's hands, ESPECIALLY if triggered involuntarily.
He gave a shuddering exhalation and wiped a hand over his face. It was
very bad, when the memories came like that, taking you back so you
could feel and taste and touch, so you were there again.
Show, don't tell. "It was very bad when memories came like that...." If
you need to actually tell us that, and force your character to think it
for us, it means you didn't do enough to describe the memory and convince
us how bad it really was.
Got to stop doing that. It's over, God-dammit, and you're alive.
The daytime memories weren't as bad as the dreams, but they were a lot
more embarrassing; nobody was around at midnight to hear him
screaming.
But was he screaming now? If he usually screams, why didn't he this
time? Or does he just feel like screaming, and suppress it, to
prevent embarassment? That sentence needs work, or you need to
augment his reaction to the memory to include screaming.
He opened the screen door with two fingers, kept it open with his
elbow as he got his foot up on the doorsill, and let it bang behind
him as he went into the kitchen, tossed the mail on the table and put
the milk in the Frigidare, taking out some cold fried chicken left
over from last night and a couple of big juicy tomatoes. One of the
advantages of living in California was that you could get fresh
vegetables earlier than most places. Rolfe's housekeeping was
painstakingly neat, a legacy of VMI and an inborn fastidiousness, but
he didn't pretend to be able to cook beyond the
can-opener-and-campfire level.
Oh yeah, horrible memories of carnage would sure make ME hungry. I
think you need to reposition Rolfe's perusal of the mail until after
he's enjoyed his lunch.
You're only twenty-four, he thought, eating and reading the paper.
Your life isn't over; it just feels that way sometimes.
Cut this line.
The postwar world was going to hell in a handbasket, according to the
Chronicle. The Russians were cutting up ugly in Eastern Europe; half
the people between England and the Ukraine were starving or dying of
typhus or both; the Reds were making gains in China; the French were
trying to get Indochina back, and not having much luck; ditto the
Dutch in Java; the Brits were having problems with the Jews in
Palestine.
Did you actually figure out which issue of which paper had this
globe-spanning summary in it? It doesn't seem like he's reading
a real paper. I'd cut it down.
And McArthur was lording it over the Nips, who were evidently
worshiping him like a god or their own Emperor. Which meant that
Dugout Doug was finally getting what he thought he deserved.
He's almost as good a general as he thinks he is, Rolfe thought with a
smile. Which means he's pretty damned good. We may need him again,
someday. Vanity's a small price to pay, and I don't believe in an end
to wars.
You know, REAL veterans do actually think about other things than
military matters. Have we established Rolfe as an excellent general,
who is privy to the generalship of his superiors, and capable of
distinguishing between them? Isn't it a bit forced to be placing
prescience of the Korean conflict (and McArthur's being withdrawn from
it) in this character's mind, just to shove in what's apparently
your opinion (or what you want us to think is your opinion) about
McArthur's gung-ho desire to use atom bombs in that conflict? Again,
shoving your own opinion into a character's head is poor character
development. You need to think of him as distinct from yourself. If it's
this obvious to a reader, it must have been to you that you weren't
imagining him as a character first, but assembling him out of different
opinions you find amusing or significant.
And closer to home, John Lewis was talking about taking the coal
miners out on strike again. Rolfe ground his teeth slightly in fury.
He was a Democrat, of course - it was virtually hereditary; where he
was born they hadn't forgotten whose idea Reconstruction was or who
went around waving the Bloody Shirt afterwards, but. . .
But I'd have had Lewis taken out and shot for striking during the war,
he thought, and tossed the folded newspaper aside, standing and
stretching cautiously.
Again, there's more to character development than shoving piles of
opinions (that are obviously NOT the author's...yeah, right) into their
minds in massive dumps. If a situation in the main story comes up that
is reminiscent of Lewis and the striking coal-miners, then bring up
Rolfe's opinion. Otherwise, it's obvious that it's something YOU
think is important, because you shoved it in there instead of getting
on with the story, or taking time to craft the story to include it
in a more natural manner.
The leg made it difficult to sit comfortably when it stiffened up, and
it reminded him each time that he was less than he'd been before the
wound. He was naturally an active man, a little above average height
and built like a greyhound, slim but deep-chested and lithe, with
short-cropped hair the color of new bronze and leaf-green eyes in a
narrow, straight-nosed face.
This is a little late for the personal description. It would have been
better to do this in the beginning, either at the end of a God-narrator
summation of his family's history, or as he first came out on the porch.
(they could merge.) Change it to "reminded him again that he was a little
less than he'd been before the wound" and cut the rest.
It was a fine April day, Bay Area style; that meant a bit chilly, with
a cool ocean breeze out of the northwest coming in through the kitchen
windows. The noontime haze over the Bay was gone, and there were
probably whitecaps out there on it -- no ocean view here, of course,
or the place would have been too expensive for him. A few planes were
overhead from the naval air station further north, adding the drone of
their engines to a subdued hum of traffic, a ship's horn, the distant
clang of electric trolley cars. Rolfe finished his sparse meal, washed
the dishes and doggedly went through another of the exquisitely
painful series of exercises the doctors said would help the damaged
muscles and tendons heal. That done, he felt he deserved some fun.
WHY this description of the fine April day HERE? He's sitting in the
kitchen, right? Clearly he is, because immediately after the description
of all the elements of the fine April day, he finishes his meal and
washes up. This description of the Fine April Day should have been
placed, naturally, where Rolfe would most be aware of it, when he
went outside on the porch earlier, or later, if he goes outside again. If
he has parked himself by an open window, you need to tell us when he did
this, that would make him aware of the day outside at this moment. It's
totally unnatural for all this right in the middle of his meal! Perhaps
he can relax and sit a little, AFTER eating? And it seems odd for him
to become aware of the fine April day and then GO INTO THE BASEMENT.
The basement was clean and tidy now, big and dim, smelling of the
cement mortar he'd used to patch cracks and mostly empty except for
tubs, scrub-board and mangle.
WHEN did he go into the basement? Before or after the exercise? You
didn't say. I don't think it would hurt to say "he headed into the
basement."
Or it had been until the short-wave set
arrived; it was war-surplus, of course, and he'd gotten it cheap
through friends. He'd also fiddled with the insides a good deal, and
he flattered himself he'd made some improvements -- certainly he'd
improved the reception, even if he'd nearly killed himself rigging the
antennae on the roof. Engineering and maths had been his best subjects
at VMI, and he'd been thinking about using this G.I. bill to get into
one of the California universities -- you could do that and convalesce
at the same time. A field officer had to be able to sprint, but there
were types of civilian engineer who didn't, and with luck he could
still avoid being stuck behind a desk all the time.
How did he avoid being an engineer in the war? And what is "VMI"? At
least use the non-acronymn the first time it's mentioned. I find
"improving the reception" a poor example of his skills with electronics.
Couldn't you surf some shortwave newsgroups to come up with something
more convincing? I mean, I don't know a diode from a capacitor, and
*I* can "improve reception" on my equipment.
One thing engineers didn't have to be either was poor. Genteel rural
poverty was something he knew far too well from his Tidewater
childhood to court willingly.
His fingers moved confidently over the exposed tubes and circuits as
he thought. With a grunt of satisfaction he made the final connection,
flipped the power switch, and sat back to let the tubes warm up -
It might help to think up an actual problem with the tubes and circuits,
that he can actually solve, rather than this vague handwaving. Is he
looking for a dead tube? Is he soldering a new tube in? Is there
a crack in the circuit board he has found, and bridged?
CRACK!
The sound was earsplitting, louder than thunder, accompanied by a
dazzling flash. John Rolfe threw himself out of the chair with
long-conditioned reflex, hitting the dirt and blinking the dazzle out
of his eyes desperately, because if you couldn't see then you didn't
get to go on breathing --
Cut "because if you couldn't see then you didn't get to go on breathing".
It took a couple of extra blinks before he realized that he was really
seeing what his eyes were showing him. The far wall of the basement --
the long side to the right of his shortwave set -- was. . . gone.
Instead of a mortared fieldstone wall half-covered in rawly new
pine-plank shelving, there was a sheet of something silvery, something
that rippled very slightly, like the surface of a body of water set on
its side staying there in defiance of gravity.
No, not like water, he thought. It was too shiny; the overhead lights
he'd put in above the workbench had turned pale, as if there was some
diffuse internal glow from the surface of the whatever-it-was. It's
not like water. It's like a sheet of mercury standing on its side.
Uh, for the sake of efficiency, you need to cut the "No, not like
water" stuff. First of all, it's already been described as "something
silvery", which we as readers expect will NOT be an ordinary "something"
like water. "...there was a glowing silvery surface, rippling very
slightly, as if it were a large pool of mercury, standing on it's
side in defiance of gravity." There. You shouldn't revise your
descriptions on the fly like that, using your character's thoughts to
refine, instead of going back to rewrite.
He could smell his own sweat, and it felt cold and clammy down his
flanks, and there was a liquid feeling south of his belly-button, and
his testicles were trying to crawl up to meet it, but he was used to
functioning well while he ignored the physical sensations of fear.
If he's ignoring his physical sensations of fear, you shouldn't pay
attention to them. If he's ignoring them, we should be ignoring them
too. If he is recognizing familiar sensations of fear, simply say
he recognized the familiar sensations of fear, and simply describe
his combat-ready ACTIONS.
Once you got going, you were too busy to notice it. His eyes flickered
back and forth, trying to catch details in something so strange that
it slid away from the surface of his mind. Then he noticed the shelves
he'd put up for tools, and storage for miscellaneous junk that his
Aunt Antonia had shipped out when he got out of the hospital; stuff
that had been around since his father died in '41, and his mother
moved in with her.
You don't need to dump more family history here. Get rid of Aunt Antonia,
unless he grabs something specifically sent by her, before taking off
on his adventure. All that matters is the strange phenomena, and the
shelf. If it's got some boxes of nails or screws, fine, but forget
Aunt Antonia.
Now all he could see was the base; the upper nine-tenths of the
shelving had toppled out into the whatever-it-was. He took a stiff
step forward, then crouched and touched the rough wood; it felt
completely normal, no hotter or colder than it should be, texture the
same.
I can understand him expecting a change in temperature, or vibrations, but
TEXTURE? Drop the reference to texture. If the shelf itself isn't giving
visual indications of a change in texture, there's no reason for him
to expect it AT ALL.
Carefully bracing his foot against the flagstones of the cellar
floor, he pulled on one section. It stuck for a moment, then slid back
into the room with him, leaving the silvery nothingness undisturbed.
It was if he had pulled the shelf out of a mercury pond that neither
wet it nor rippled as the wood went through its surface.
Cut this line. It's redundant. You already said it was "undisturbed",
and that it was like mercury, so adding that it's like a mercury pond,
and didn't ripple adds nothing. Cut it, or enhance the previous paragraph.
Don't leave them both there.
His fingers
found no damage, except where the backs of the shelves had splintered
in a few places as if they'd fallen against rocks. And there was dirt,
a little, and bits of grass and leaf caught in irregularities, and his
hand darted out and closed on an insect. A perfectly ordinary insect,
a beetle of some sort. He flicked it away, and it vanished through the
silvery barrier.
"Well, I'll be damned," he whispered, in the soft purring drawl of
eastern Virginia. "Ah will be eternally damned."
It would have been nice if this wasn't the first time we were introduced
to the character's accent. How about going back to the first "I'll" and
changing it to "Ah'll?" Or do West Virginians say it differently when they
add apostrophe-ll? But I think it would work better if you just forgot
about trying to reproduce a West Virginian accent. We'll take it on faith
that he has one. Delete the reference to his accent, and get rid of the
"Ah", that's my advice.
Swallowing, he extended his hand. There was a momentary coolness as it
slid through the surface, faint and fleeting, perhaps only his mind
expecting the shock of water.
Perhaps, shmerhaps. He feels it, or he doesn't. Don't waste our time with
this sort of dithering. He's investigating a fascinating phenomenon in
his basement, he shouldn't be thinking about whether it's real coolness
or just his mind expecting the coolness. If you want him to withdraw
from the coolness, and THEN think about if it was only in his mind
before he tries again, or realizes it was only in his mind, when
he tries again, that would work. Otherwise, drop it, since it seems
you are in a way big hurry to get him through and having fun in
alternate-reality-land. (I think you could start the story in the
basement, for God's sakes.)
Then nothing except wind on his fingers,
which felt completely normal when he wiggled them, despite the arm
looking as if it ended where the silvery surface began.
Oh, come on. Haven't you ever stuck your arm in silvery water, or
down a hole, where you can't see it? Does it ever really occur to
you that your arm might not function normally just because you
can't see it? You are letting your author's knowledge of the
alternate world beyond slip into the protagonist's expectations
of his arm being seperated from him, in another world, when he wouldn't
have any such expectations. He'd naturally assume the arm does NOT
end at the silvery surface. He SHOULD be surprised by the wind, though,
since he's in his basement. That is the sensation that should be
focused on, not whether his fingers feel normal or not, or whether
they do NOT feel seperated from him. (Oh. And it should be described
as a draft, or moving air. He doesn't know it's the "wind", which
usually means outside. He's supposed to be surprised when later he
pokes his head through to find he's outside.)
There was no
unusual sensation at all as he withdrew it, and wiggled the fingers
again in front of his face.
If he doesn't experience an unusual sensation,
dont' describe him NOT experiencing it.
"He withdrew his hand, and wiggled his fingers in front of his face.
They looked fine." That's enough.
Decision hardened.
WHAT decision? He hasn't been described as considering any action yet.
Certainly sticking his head in would have been a really dumb impulse
BEFORE he'd tested it out otherwise.
John Rolfe took a deep breath and leaned forward.
For a moment he was dazzled, but that was only because the setting sun
shone into his eyes. He gasped at that, and then again as he looked
down, seeing his own head and shoulders emerging from a flat expanse
of ever-so-slightly rippling silver. Because what he saw was certainly
not his basement or anything in Oakland, California; and that meant
the front half of him was a long way from the rear, joined only by the
odd material of this gate-to-wherever. His swift-hammering heart must
be pumping blood across some unimaginable gap.
He's thinking too much, too fast. Remember, he is a character unto
himself, unless you have established that he likes to read lots of
30's and 40's pulp sci-fi, and can make such an effortless assessment
of the twilight-zoney situation. And he shouldn't be noticing the
silvery substance from which he's protruding first...he's already
seen it from the other side...I'd shift his observation of himself
protruding from the surface til after he's taken in a bit of the
scenery...because it's the scenery that establishes that he's
protruding into a different reality.
The stones of his cellar wall were scattered before him down a low
grassy slope, with the shelving and tools and boxes lying on top of
them and above that a clear blue sky streaked with high cloud. Just
beyond, perhaps twenty yards away, was a tree -- a huge gnarled
wide-spreading coast live oak, unmistakable to anyone who'd spent any
time in California, blocking most of whatever lay beyond as the sun
glistened on its new springtime leaves. He could see glimpses of vivid
green salt marsh, and beyond it the blue glint of open water. Right
where San Francisco Bay ought to be -- if the city of Oakland weren't
in the way. And between him and the live-oak, a bear.
Okay. He notices a hugh gnarled live oak FIRST, and green salt marsh
beyond, and open water beyond that, and only THEN does he notice the
big grizzly bear between him and the live oak? Reposition his
awareness of his body protruding into a different reality AFTER
the description of the scenery, and then have the bear wander
into the scene. Or have it in the periphery of the scene, and noticed
afterwards. It can't remain between him and the oak.
A grizzly. Old Eph himself, a big silvertip male, standing erect for a
better view and weaving its long massive head in curiosity as it
stared at him.
John Rolfe tumbled backward with a yell, landing on his backside on
the unyielding stone of the basement's floor. For perhaps three
minutes he lay there, the hard gritty surface cold under his palms,
and then a long slow grin lit his face.
I don't know what's happening, he thought. But whatever it is, I
suspect my days of being bored are over.
You haven't established that he WAS bored. Earlier you said that he
was enjoying the solitude, because he was sick of being in crowded
troopships and barracks and hospitals, and he's having a ball in
his basement playing with his radio. But now, all of a sudden, he was
bored?
It took only a moment to go upstairs, change into jeans and flannel
shirt and boots, and add a brown jacket and billed cap; they were his
hunting clothes, bought for when he'd recovered enough to take up the
sport again. He loved stalking deer, and an African safari had been
his when-I-strike-it-rich daydream for years.
Yeah, yeah, let's get the environmentalists upset, and giggle like little
schoolgirls about it.
He took down a rucksack
and dumped in a few things from the kitchen, matches and canned beans,
enough for an overnight camp if he wasn't picky and the weather wasn't
too cold. The pain in his leg was distant, unimportant, as he
clattered down into the basement and over to a tall steel footlocker
he'd installed underneath the stairs that led up to the pantry. The
lock was a combination model. He twisted the dial and then opened the
door, hesitating for a second as he reached in.
His old webbing belt was folded on a top shelf; he swung it around his
Levi-clad hips and buckled it with a sudden decisive movement.
Checking the .45 was automatic; slide out the magazine, thumb the top
round, slide it in with a snap and pull the action back. He buckled
the holster flap down over the pistol and took the Garand rifle out of
its rack, pushing in an 8-round clip and letting the bolt snick home.
Did you masturbate after writing this?
He still had a deep affectionate respect for the Garand design and
had bought one from an accommodating supply sergeant as soon as he got
out of the hospital; it hadn't been difficult in the freewheeling
chaos that accompanied demobilization after V-J day. The .30-06 rounds
ought to make even a grizzly sit up and take notice; he tossed a dozen
clips into a pocket of the rucksack on general principle -- you never
had too much ammunition.
Gee, that was an awfully quick recovery from the sweating flashback
terrors he had of combat, described earlier. All he needed was the
opportunity to kill a bear?
Now I know what John Rolfe the First felt like, Rolfe thought. Wading
onto the Virginia shore all those years ago, rapier in hand.
Penis in hand.
Cradling the rifle in the crook of his left arm, John Rolfe VI stepped
into the wall of silvery light.
And spewed all over the Grizzly bear.
Seriously. This reads like a rough draft. Do you have an editor? Is this
your first draft? Because it reads like one. Don't tell me that this
is even close to it's final version.
DM
---
The President's head rolled back in pleasure. The young intern was working
his parts masterfully, as she had been trained to do.
Choke on it bitch, he thought. Choke on it and gag, you fat cunt.
---
Well? What are your thoughts? It's still a work in progress... :-)
Paul F. Dietz
> Eg., stories dependent on infectious diseases, or on there being blind or deaf
> people around in any number. I would be very surprised if advances in
> anti-aging treatments weren't available by then, too.
Biotech may eliminate infectious diseases, but I think it more likely
that it will make the problem much, much worse. Designing horrific
new viruses appears to be disturbingly easy to do.
Paul
alancu...@yahoo.com
My own prediction (wishful thinking?) - energy production. I suspect
we will eventually solve the problem of commercial fusion power by
2030 or so. And by that time have developed fuel cell technology to
power most of our vehicles to reduce dependence on fossil fuels.
Maybe more efficient solar power cells, heavier use of wind power,
more reliance on nuclear power. Nearly all the dams that can be built
have been, and even with more efficient use of power, the demand will
only grow.
My .02.
Leif Magnar Kj|nn|y
Dan Goodman <dsg...@visi.com> wrote:
>
>My memory says there were such novels coming out for a couple months after
>Russia seceded from the Soviet Union. I suspect they were too far along in
>the pipeline to be stopped.
The canonical example would be Spinrad's _Russian Spring_.
Which has a 21st century where the Soviets are really getting
their shit together (while still being communists, sort of)
and the US is screwing everything up and sinking into isolationism.
By the time it hit the bookstore shelves there was no more
Soviet Union...
--
Leif Kj{\o}nn{\o}y | "Its habit of getting up late you'll agree
www.pvv.org/~leifmk| That it carries too far, when I say
Math geek and gamer| That it frequently breakfasts at five-o'clock tea,
GURPS, Harn, CORPS | And dines on the following day." (Carroll)
Paul F. Dietz
> My own prediction (wishful thinking?) - energy production. I suspect
> we will eventually solve the problem of commercial fusion power by
> 2030 or so.
It turns out there are fundamental reasons why fusion has been
consistently disappointing. These are:
(1) It solves the wrong problem. Yes, fusion fuel (deuterium,
lithium for the blanket) is cheap. But uranium is also cheap,
and the cost of energy from these systems is dominated by capital
cost, not fuel cost. The same mistake was made with fast breeder
reactors.
(2) Fusion reactors will produce ample volumes of activated material,
although the total radioactivity involved is (much) less than from
fission reactors. Cost of handling the waste is more related to
volume than the activity (up to a point).
(3) Plasma confinement has turned out to be harder than thought (although
this is being solved).
(4) The kicker: fusion reactor engineering is hard, and the scaling laws
work against you. The reactor is limited in the power density at the
first wall (due to neutron and sputtering damage). This means that
as the reactor gets larger, the volumetric power density has to *decrease*.
This is unlike a fission reactor where the surface area of the fuel rods
increases linearly with core volume. As a result the nuclear core
of a fusion reactor promises to be an order of magnitude more expensive
than that of a fission reactor, per unit thermal output. Even if the
cost could be reduced, you're talking about swapping out the first wall
on a regular basis -- each atom in the first wall is displaced by a
neutron roughly 100 times per year, quickly ruining its material
properties.
One additional reason to bet against fusion: it's been a big government-hyped
development effort.
Fusion looks like a poster child for SFnal tropes that never become
real.
Paul
Martin Soederstroem
reveal:
>Futurology is one of my favorite forms of humor. There's the Earl of
>Birkenhead's _The World in 2030_, published in 1930. Among other things, he
>explained why, in the unlikely event of another general war in Europe, it
>would be conducted in a much more civilized way than the Great War.
Well, they didn't use poison gas, so perhaps the war was a bit more
civilized. The civilian side of things could get a mite nasty, on the
other hand.
Also, I do think that WWII was a seriously unlikely event. Almost no
one wanted it. Not the wehrmacht, not the UK, not France, only one
little Austrian wanted to fight.
--
This is my sig.
Luke Silburn
> http://hem.passagen.se/bohjohan/books/conqui/conqui_cv.html
I get a web-page in Swedish saying:
>>Tyvärr
>>
>>Du har försökt att ladda en sida som inte finns på Passagens server.
>>Detta kan bero på någon av följande anledningar:
>>
>>Den angivna adressen är felaktig. Kontrollera stavningen och försök
>> igen.
>>Du försöker nå en gammal adress som inte finns
>>
>>längre eller har ändrats.
>>Du kan ha använt ett gammalt bokmärke.
>>
>>Passagen har fått en ny utformning som även påverkat de gamla
>>adresserna.
>>
>>> Till Passagens förstasida
I suspect this is because I am using Opera. Thoughts?
Luke
--
I don't speak for Logica, Logica don't speak for me.
It's best that way.
Leif Magnar Kj|nn|y
Luke Silburn <Silb...@lose-this.logica.com> wrote:
>Bo Johansson used some spare electrons to say:
>
>> http://hem.passagen.se/bohjohan/books/conqui/conqui_cv.html
>
>I get a web-page in Swedish saying:
>
>>>Tyvärr
[snip]
That's just a customized 404-notice substitute ("page not found").
>I suspect this is because I am using Opera. Thoughts?
Nah, it's probably either because you got the URL munged
somehow, or because they had a temporary server/disk glitch
over there, or because it was temporarily down on purpose.
The above URL certainly works in Opera for me.
James Nicoll
Leif Magnar Kj|nn|y <lei...@pvv.ntnu.no> wrote:
>In article <Xns928CDE151C1...@209.98.98.13>,
>Dan Goodman <dsg...@visi.com> wrote:
>>
>>My memory says there were such novels coming out for a couple months after
>>Russia seceded from the Soviet Union. I suspect they were too far along in
>>the pipeline to be stopped.
>
>The canonical example would be Spinrad's _Russian Spring_.
>Which has a 21st century where the Soviets are really getting
>their shit together (while still being communists, sort of)
>and the US is screwing everything up and sinking into isolationism.
>By the time it hit the bookstore shelves there was no more
>Soviet Union...
>
the SU's ability to transend mere economics to become the 21st century's
Awesome Space Power Dudes. Written before the fall, published just after.
--
"Frankly, Captain, I feel interstellar diplomacy is out of our
depth."
"Ah, hence the nuclear weapons."
Pete McCutchen
<str...@sentigen.com> wrote:
>
>
>Bo Johansson wrote:
>>
>> Sample chapters (prologue and chapters 1 to 4) of S.M. Stirling's next
>> novel "Conquistador" can be found at
>> http://hem.passagen.se/bohjohan/books/conqui/conqui_cv.html
>>
>> // Bo Johansson
>>
>> P.S. They are there with the authors blessing.
>
>Damn, I was sort of hoping the answer for Niven's Law would be 'Nazi
>dork-boy' :) But I guess that's reserved for people who assume that
>what a person says on Usenet despite attempted ret-conning by the author
>is actually what they mean.
Is it me, or is the above paragraph utterly incoherent?
--
Pete McCutchen
raycun
> On 16 Sep 2002, Bo Johansson wrote:
>
> > Sample chapters (prologue and chapters 1 to 4) of S.M. Stirling's next
> > novel "Conquistador" can be found at
> > http://hem.passagen.se/bohjohan/books/conqui/conqui_cv.html
> >
> > // Bo Johansson
> >
> > P.S. They are there with the authors blessing.
>
> Comments on the prologue. Text commented on is indented. My comments are
> not.
I think you're too harsh when you find racist implications, and when
you suggest Stirling's masturbating over militaria (bores me silly
too, but its not quite drooling). But most of your criticisms are spot
on - the prologue is full of information that shouldn't be there, and
that destroy any belief in the character. The rent on the house, the
fate of previous occupants, what the style was called - all of these
things are as distracting as having the author standing at your ear
shouting "LOOK! Its 1946! In OAKLAND! 1946, I tells ya!" The
character's personal history is similarly not so much explained as
painted on placards and nailed to his forehead, most of it for no
discernible purpose.
Oh well, apparently some people like this sort of thing.
Ray
Walter R. Strapps
It's an 'inside' comment that only posters to SHWI will get. Search
deja for 'Nazi dork-boy' if you really want to know.
Cheers,
Walter R. Strapps
Mark Reichert
> Heinlein was better than most at predicting technological innovations (not
> good, but nobody is) but rather bad at the way they'd affect mores and
I found it amusing that a Lunar colony would still have use for typewriters.<g>
Luke Silburn
>
> "Here Alexander the Great hadn't died in Babylon in 323 BC." Rather
> a lot to learn in just 16 years. How long did it take to go over to
> Europe, learn the language, and then look up the history books?
> History in old days wasn't as common as in our own time.
>
As was said later in the paragraph, the Commonwealth hasn't done much more
than send explorers who discovered a slew of late antiquity city-states and
kingdoms, all speaking languages descended from Greek and worshipping Zeus-
Alexander.
I think the ramifications are big enough to allow the PoD to be tracked
down fairly easily.
Doug Haxton
<rwh...@amanda.dorsai.GROKorg> wrote:
> His old webbing belt was folded on a top shelf; he swung it around his
> Levi-clad hips and buckled it with a sudden decisive movement.
> Checking the .45 was automatic; slide out the magazine, thumb the top
> round, slide it in with a snap and pull the action back. He buckled
> the holster flap down over the pistol and took the Garand rifle out of
> its rack, pushing in an 8-round clip and letting the bolt snick home.
>
>Did you masturbate after writing this?
Oh, dear. It seems someone has...issues over firearms.
Doug
Pete McCutchen
wrote:
A "Medtech" sticks a sample of the new virus in his analyzer, and,
fifteen minutes later, a cure pops out.
Question: how will the FDA cope when we develop the capacity to
individually design medications tailored to the individual patient and
his or her illness?
--
Pete McCutchen
Pete McCutchen
wrote:
My thoughts?
Well, uh, *plonk*.
--
Pete McCutchen
Dan Goodman
news:20020918023512...@mb-mq.aol.com:
>>From: Dan Goodman dsg...@visi.com
>
>>Chesterton didn't do better than anyone else at prediction, by the
>>way. Seems
> you can't even count on the forecasters to be wrong.
>
> -- it's another case of "you can't outguess the market". Anyone who
> could _really_ predict the future would be very rich!
>
> It is possible to predict things in a general sense.
>
> Eg., by about 1934, most thoughtful Europeans knew another world war
> was coming, although of course there was a lot of denial.
However -- perhaps a bit farther on, they also "knew" Europe would be
dominated by either Germany or Russia. They seriously underestimated US
influence.
> And it's generally a safe bet to say that technological progress will
> occurr, but much more dangerous to say just what sort.
If it's possible to come up with a Theory of Everything which neatly and
understandably explains the basic questions of physics and cosmology, then
there may be a limit. And there are scientists who seem to expect this
within the next few decades.
> Those 1950's rockets-with-slide-rule stories illustrate the most
> common mistake, which is straight-line extrapolation.
> As it turned out, the 50's and 60's were when the upward curve of
> increasing speed started to flatten out again. That's the usual
> thing: you get a slow start, accelerating progress, then very rapid
> progress as the basic problems are solved...
>
> ... and then things slow down again as all the easy stuff gets
> accomplished.
>
> Airplanes were doing about 30-50 mph with the Wright brothers, up to a
> bit over 100 mph in WWI, up to around 350 mph by 1939, up to 550 mph
> by the end of WWII, and then into the supersonic range in the 1950's.
>
> And then in the 1960's it plateaued. Airliners now fly at about the
> same speed as the first commercial jets. Military aircraft are still
> at about the same speeds achieved in the 60's too. Rockets haven't
> improved much either.
>
> It turns out to be very hard and require fundamental breakthroughs in
> materials to go much faster or to lift bigger weights at the top
> (rocket) speeds.
>
> In the meantime, they missed the real story, which was in electronics
> -- the computers they anticipated were the size of houses.
>
> I think we SFnal types are probably overestimating future progress in
> computers and AI, and underestimating some field where the real
> dramatic breakthroughs will occur.
Perhaps also in nanotechnology?
>
> Biotech would be my guess, since the theoretical breakthroughs are
> just starting to be translated into useful products.
At http://www.eurekalert.org, scientific press releases about this are
fairly common.
> If so, this will be a souce of many SFnal embarassments by the 2030's,
> 40's and 50's.
>
> Eg., stories dependent on infectious diseases, or on there being blind
> or deaf people around in any number. I would be very surprised if
> advances in anti-aging treatments weren't available by then, too.
Looks like there's one which doesn't require any technology not available
to Neanderthalers: a very restrictive diet.
> I'd also guess that human/machine interfaces will be significant;
> direct neural input and output to artificial sensors and so forth.
>
> The problem is that it's _really_ difficult to guess the social
> consequences; Heinlein was better than most at predicting
> technological innovations (not good, but nobody is) but rather bad at
> the way they'd affect mores and customs.
Yes.
> The only prediction about the world of 2030 that I'd feel safe in
> making is that it will surprise us.
I would add: the areas in which it will surprise us will surprise us.
Robert Whelan
> Robert Whelan <rwh...@amanda.dorsai.GROKorg> wrote in message news:<Pine.GSO.4.21.02091...@amanda.dorsai.org>...
> > On 16 Sep 2002, Bo Johansson wrote:
> >
> > > Sample chapters (prologue and chapters 1 to 4) of S.M. Stirling's next
> > > novel "Conquistador" can be found at
> > > http://hem.passagen.se/bohjohan/books/conqui/conqui_cv.html
> > >
> > > // Bo Johansson
> > >
> > > P.S. They are there with the authors blessing.
> >
> > Comments on the prologue. Text commented on is indented. My comments are
> > not.
>
> I think you're too harsh when you find racist implications, and when
> you suggest Stirling's masturbating over militaria (bores me silly
> too, but its not quite drooling).
I wouldn't insist on racist implications. The effect could be the
accidental side-effect of the bad information-placing that occurs
throughout. Same with the gun-fetishism. The effect is the result
of the habitual placing of unnecessary information. A brief scan
of chapter one shows the writing to be more tight. Could the
prologue have been written quickly, AFTER the main work had been
edited, as a quick and easy taste of fun-to-come for those bored
with longer introductory chapters?
But most of your criticisms are spot
> on - the prologue is full of information that shouldn't be there, and
> that destroy any belief in the character. The rent on the house, the
> fate of previous occupants, what the style was called - all of these
> things are as distracting as having the author standing at your ear
> shouting "LOOK! Its 1946! In OAKLAND! 1946, I tells ya!" The
> character's personal history is similarly not so much explained as
> painted on placards and nailed to his forehead, most of it for no
> discernible purpose.
>
> Oh well, apparently some people like this sort of thing.
People with blocks of wood between their ears, who need information nailed
into them.
Karl M. Syring
See, fragments like "...letting the bolt snick home" are generally to be
found in stories that have nothing to do with firearms.
... taking the pistol out of the holster
Karl M. Syring
Dan Goodman
news:am9hjh$d5n$1...@tyfon.itea.ntnu.no:
> In article <Xns928CDE151C1...@209.98.98.13>,
> Dan Goodman <dsg...@visi.com> wrote:
>>
>>My memory says there were such novels coming out for a couple months
>>after Russia seceded from the Soviet Union. I suspect they were too
>>far along in the pipeline to be stopped.
>
> The canonical example would be Spinrad's _Russian Spring_.
> Which has a 21st century where the Soviets are really getting
> their shit together (while still being communists, sort of)
> and the US is screwing everything up and sinking into isolationism.
> By the time it hit the bookstore shelves there was no more
> Soviet Union...
>
My reactions to that book's timing:
I can't believe a writer could be that stupid.
I can't believe a publisher could be that stupid.
Doug Haxton
<syr...@email.com> wrote:
>> >Did you masturbate after writing this?
>>
>> Oh, dear. It seems someone has...issues over firearms.
>
>See, fragments like "...letting the bolt snick home" are generally to be
>found in stories that have nothing to do with firearms.
>
>... taking the pistol out of the holster
Actually, I was speaking of Mr. Whelan, not Mr. Stirling. Sorry if
that wasn't clear...it just seemed rather odd that he was at his most
venomous when speaking of a description of a firearm being loaded.
Doug
Michael S. Schiffer
news:ak8fous34m28c4qnn...@4ax.com:
>...
> A "Medtech" sticks a sample of the new virus in his analyzer,
> and, fifteen minutes later, a cure pops out.
> Question: how will the FDA cope when we develop the capacity to
> individually design medications tailored to the individual
> patient and his or her illness?
Probably by licensing the devices or processes used to perform that
function.
Mike
--
Michael S. Schiffer, LHN, FCS
msch...@condor.depaul.edu
Karl M. Syring
Because Stirling should have learned to avoid such sexual connotations
in writings while he was at high school?
... autoloader working without a hitch
Karl M. Syring
Doug Haxton
<syr...@email.com> wrote:
>"Doug Haxton" <dlha...@attbi.com> schrieb
>> On Wed, 18 Sep 2002 18:14:40 +0200, "Karl M. Syring"
>> <syr...@email.com> wrote:
>>
>>
>> >> >Did you masturbate after writing this?
>> >>
>> >> Oh, dear. It seems someone has...issues over firearms.
>> >
>> >See, fragments like "...letting the bolt snick home" are generally to
>be
>> >found in stories that have nothing to do with firearms.
>> >
>> >... taking the pistol out of the holster
>>
>> Actually, I was speaking of Mr. Whelan, not Mr. Stirling. Sorry if
>> that wasn't clear...it just seemed rather odd that he was at his most
>> venomous when speaking of a description of a firearm being loaded.
>
>Because Stirling should have learned to avoid such sexual connotations
>in writings while he was at high school?
The term, "letting the bolt snick home" is hardly sexual in nature.
The Beavis & Butthead crowd might derive some amusement from it, but
surely an adult wouldn't.
Doug
Rick
news:amad07$49h1o$1...@ID-7529.news.dfncis.de...
> Because Stirling should have learned to avoid such sexual connotations
> in writings while he was at high school?
Perhaps the so-called sexual connotations tell more about those that imagine
them than the writer.
Doug Haxton
wrote:
Indeed. Sometimes a pencil is just a pencil, after all.
Doug
David Dyer-Bennet
> I think we SFnal types are probably overestimating future progress in computers
> and AI, and underestimating some field where the real dramatic breakthroughs
> will occur.
>
> Biotech would be my guess, since the theoretical breakthroughs are just
> starting to be translated into useful products.
>
> If so, this will be a souce of many SFnal embarassments by the 2030's, 40's and
> 50's.
>
> Eg., stories dependent on infectious diseases, or on there being blind or deaf
> people around in any number. I would be very surprised if advances in
> anti-aging treatments weren't available by then, too.
<bitter>Yeah, but they probably won't work for people past puberty,
in the first generation.</bitter>
--
David Dyer-Bennet, dd...@dd-b.net / http://www.dd-b.net/dd-b/
John Dyer-Bennet 1915-2002 Memorial Site http://john.dyer-bennet.net
Dragaera mailing lists, see http://dragaera.info
Karl M. Syring
Well, if you can not recognize "them" in that massive concentration, you
just have cognitive deficits.
Karl M. Syring
Karl M. Syring
... and sometimes a pencil-symbol is just a penis-symbol.
Karl M. Syring
Karl M. Syring
Of course he would not, because he would never read that kind of stuff.
Karl M. Syring
Robert Whelan
Actually, the descriptions of the firearms being loaded are probably
the best-written in the entire prologue. I became venomous because
I had come to the end of my patience with the time I was spending
on the post, and because I recognized that the firearm-loading
passage, because it was better-written, more flowing, more detailed,
than almost anything that had gone before, was likely indicative of
the author's fetishes. I rememember a similar scene in Stephen King's ROSE
MADDER, an execrably sloppy work, but which, for a moment, picked up
poetry and power when it described a motorcycle ride (King is a motorcycle
enthusiast). What's annoying is that it is the only well-written bit,
which indicates a narrowness of interest on the author's part, and
promises shallow focus on the fun of blowing things away/up later on.
What also fed my venom, likely, was that for the first time, I was being
entertained *by* the gun fetishism. I mean, who doesn't like death-dealing
weapons, with which one can enhance one's own self-worth and feeling
of power? Every adolescent boy. Any adult with remnants of adolescence
in him. But appeals to power-fantasy is the cheapest, easiest way to
please an audience, and I just felt one of the author's petty
purposes fully revealed here. But as WRITING I didn't have a big
bitch with it.
Robert Whelan
You could have spared us. What's he going to do, fail to publish the
"rest" of his novel, because he knows you won't be reading?
David Johnston
>
> On Wed, 18 Sep 2002 08:58:39 GMT, "Paul F. Dietz" <di...@dls.net>
> wrote:
>
> >JoatSimeon wrote:
> >
> >> Eg., stories dependent on infectious diseases, or on there being blind or deaf
> >> people around in any number. I would be very surprised if advances in
> >> anti-aging treatments weren't available by then, too.
> >
> >Biotech may eliminate infectious diseases, but I think it more likely
> >that it will make the problem much, much worse. Designing horrific
> >new viruses appears to be disturbingly easy to do.
>
> A "Medtech" sticks a sample of the new virus in his analyzer, and,
> fifteen minutes later, a cure pops out.
That causes paralysis as a side effect in 10% of the people treated...
Doug Haxton
Perhaps you should address the point rather than tap-dance. You've
made the assertion that the phrase, "letting the bolt snick home" is
sexual in nature. Can you support your point?
Doug
Doug Haxton
<syr...@email.com> wrote:
>> >Perhaps the so-called sexual connotations tell more about those that
>imagine
>> >them than the writer.
>>
>> Indeed. Sometimes a pencil is just a pencil, after all.
>
>... and sometimes a pencil-symbol is just a penis-symbol.
Do you believe that the bolt of an M1 Garand is a penis-symbol? If
so, why?
BTW, do you even know what it looks like? Here's a link:
http://www.biggerhammer.net/manuals/garand/expl-vue.htm
It's part #22. Doesn't like much like a reproductive organ to me, but
perhaps I'm not imaginative enough.
Doug
Doug Haxton
<rwh...@amanda.dorsai.GROKorg> wrote:
>> Actually, I was speaking of Mr. Whelan, not Mr. Stirling. Sorry if
>> that wasn't clear...it just seemed rather odd that he was at his most
>> venomous when speaking of a description of a firearm being loaded.
>
>Actually, the descriptions of the firearms being loaded are probably
>the best-written in the entire prologue. I became venomous because
>I had come to the end of my patience with the time I was spending
>on the post, and because I recognized that the firearm-loading
>passage, because it was better-written, more flowing, more detailed,
>than almost anything that had gone before, was likely indicative of
>the author's fetishes.
> I rememember a similar scene in Stephen King's ROSE
>MADDER, an execrably sloppy work, but which, for a moment, picked up
>poetry and power when it described a motorcycle ride (King is a motorcycle
>enthusiast). What's annoying is that it is the only well-written bit,
>which indicates a narrowness of interest on the author's part, and
>promises shallow focus on the fun of blowing things away/up later on.
>
>What also fed my venom, likely, was that for the first time, I was being
>entertained *by* the gun fetishism.
What, exactly, was indicitive of fetishism? I'll grant you that there
are novels which describe weapons to a fault (i.e., "Men's Adventure"
fiction such as the Survivalist series).
This isn't it.
> I mean, who doesn't like death-dealing
>weapons, with which one can enhance one's own self-worth and feeling
>of power?
By all means...the only reason anyone would ever be interested in
weapons is because of low self-esteem.
Puhleeze...
> Every adolescent boy. Any adult with remnants of adolescence
>in him.
As a matter of fact, I happen to collect military-issue weapons. Is
this by definition an act of adolescence?
I've always thought it was the hoplophobes who had issues, myself...
> But appeals to power-fantasy is the cheapest, easiest way to
>please an audience, and I just felt one of the author's petty
>purposes fully revealed here. But as WRITING I didn't have a big
>bitch with it.
Pleasing an audience is a "petty purpose"? Here's hoping we see more
petty authors...
BTW, how exactly is carrying a rifle into a wilderness a
power-fantasy? The best way I can think to describe the character's
action is "prudent".
Doug
Robert Whelan
No blanks in this gun!
Robert Whelan
Alternate histories are written all the time. What's so stupid about
it?
David Dyer-Bennet
They'll certify the analysis/production machinery. And quite rightly
so, too.
AlanCurtis
> On 16 Sep 2002, Bo Johansson wrote:
>
> > Sample chapters (prologue and chapters 1 to 4) of S.M. Stirling's next
> > novel "Conquistador" can be found at
> > http://hem.passagen.se/bohjohan/books/conqui/conqui_cv.html
> >
> > // Bo Johansson
> >
> > P.S. They are there with the authors blessing.
>
> Comments on the prologue. Text commented on is indented. My comments are
> not.
>
>
>
> CONQUISTADOR
>
> by S.M. Stirling <joats...@aol.com>
> _________________________________________________________________
>
> Prologue:
>
[snip critique of the prologue chapter]
I see you worked hard on that critique of Mr. Stirling's work. Would
love to see more. In fact, it would be nice if you did an indepth
critical review of all his works including those he co-authored.
Perhaps you should consider spending the next ten years doing so -
_offline_.
HAND.
Louann Miller
<rwh...@amanda.dorsai.GROKorg> wrote:
>Actually, the descriptions of the firearms being loaded are probably
>the best-written in the entire prologue. I became venomous because
>I had come to the end of my patience with the time I was spending
>on the post, and because I recognized that the firearm-loading
>passage, because it was better-written, more flowing, more detailed,
>than almost anything that had gone before, was likely indicative of
>the author's fetishes.
I remember back when I used to read a lot of C.S. Lewis, reading an
essay of his where he complained in passing that most of the criticism
his fiction got consisted of the critic or reviewer "telling imaginary
stories about how the book was written." Especially since the
imaginary stories much more often than not were wrong. Your deduction
might be the exception to that rule, but it's still a deduction.
--
Mozilla 1.1 is free and has a built in pop-up killer.
Just uncheck "open unrequested windows" under "advanced" under preferences.
http://www.mozilla.org
Robert Whelan
Well, what made me make that joke was, the character is SO underdescribed,
he doesn't seem to have a sexuality at all. All the personal history
jammed in there says nothing about him as other than a soldier, with
soldier ancestors. Did he ever have a sweetheart, before the war?
Did he ever love a Korean girl? No, it's all flashbacks to carnage,
and playing with his radio. And then at the end, he expresses affection,
for the first time, FOR GUNS, and heads out after (male) Grizzly Bear.
Doug Haxton
<rwh...@amanda.dorsai.GROKorg> wrote:
>> > The canonical example would be Spinrad's _Russian Spring_.
>> > Which has a 21st century where the Soviets are really getting
>> > their shit together (while still being communists, sort of)
>> > and the US is screwing everything up and sinking into isolationism.
>> > By the time it hit the bookstore shelves there was no more
>> > Soviet Union...
>> >
>> My reactions to that book's timing:
>>
>> I can't believe a writer could be that stupid.
>> I can't believe a publisher could be that stupid.
>
>Alternate histories are written all the time. What's so stupid about
>it?
I assume from the context of the description that it wasn't written
*as* alternate history.
Doug
Doug Haxton
<rwh...@amanda.dorsai.GROKorg> wrote:
>> Well, if you can not recognize "them" in that massive concentration, you
>> just have cognitive deficits.
>
>Well, what made me make that joke was, the character is SO underdescribed,
>he doesn't seem to have a sexuality at all.
Why would sex have to come up in the first few pages?
> All the personal history
>jammed in there says nothing about him as other than a soldier, with
>soldier ancestors. Did he ever have a sweetheart, before the war?
>Did he ever love a Korean girl?
??? What would make you think he'd be likely to have a relationship
with a Korean girl?
>No, it's all flashbacks to carnage,
>and playing with his radio. And then at the end, he expresses affection,
>for the first time, FOR GUNS,
What else should he have expressed affection for? His milk and
newspaper? BTW, he expressed affection for the design of the weapon,
not the weapon itself. A wholly appropriate reaction under the
circumstances.
>and heads out after (male) Grizzly Bear.
Yes, it's male.
So what?
Doug
Craig Richardson
wrote:
>joats...@aol.com (JoatSimeon) writes:
>
>> I think we SFnal types are probably overestimating future progress in computers
>> and AI, and underestimating some field where the real dramatic breakthroughs
>> will occur.
>>
>> Biotech would be my guess, since the theoretical breakthroughs are just
>> starting to be translated into useful products.
>>
>> If so, this will be a souce of many SFnal embarassments by the 2030's, 40's and
>> 50's.
>>
>> Eg., stories dependent on infectious diseases, or on there being blind or deaf
>> people around in any number. I would be very surprised if advances in
>> anti-aging treatments weren't available by then, too.
>
><bitter>Yeah, but they probably won't work for people past puberty,
>in the first generation.</bitter>
And even then, they'll only be anti-aging, not aging-reversers. I
fully expect to be physically 65 (or so) for quite some time while the
eternally-22 get all the chicks.
--Craig
--
Managing the Devil Rays is something like competing on "Iron Chef",
and having Chairman Kaga reveal a huge ziggurat of lint.
Gary Huckabay, Baseball Prospectus Online, August 21, 2002
James Nicoll
Craig Richardson <crichar...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
>
>And even then, they'll only be anti-aging, not aging-reversers. I
>fully expect to be physically 65 (or so) for quite some time while the
>eternally-22 get all the chicks.
>
had a secret weapon that may not be useful to bodies still coursing
with hormones.
SECRET CHICK MAGNET TECHNIQUE
He paid attention to the individual women he was talking with, he
honestly liked to talk to them and he generally liked the women he spoke
to and was willing to share that with them.
Me, I'm hoping ear and back hair long enough to swing from comes
into fashion. Maybe if I start braiding it...
--
"Frankly, Captain, I feel interstellar diplomacy is out of our
depth."
"Ah, hence the nuclear weapons."
JoatSimeon
>My own prediction (wishful thinking?) - energy production. I suspect
>we will eventually solve the problem of commercial fusion power by
>2030 or so.
-- yeah, that would be my guess too. There have been some breakthroughs in
modelling plasmas lately which have put us to the point where building a
prototype fusion power reactor is now possible -- the scientists are agitating
for funding even as we speak.
One thing that hasn't attracted enough attention is the advances in power
_storage_ technology. Big regenerative dual-electrolyte fuel-cell systems can
now store power at industrial scales and quite low costs; there's a 200 MW
storage plant installed in England, and another building in the US.
That'll make it possible to run generating systems at peak load all the time,
store the power from low-demand periods, and then let it out as needed.
Typically power systems have 50% more generating capacity than they need to
meet _average_ demand; that's because demand is so dramatically uneven, on a
daily and seasonal basis.
It would drastically reduce capital costs of any energy generating system to be
able to build only enough to meet _average_ demand.
JoatSimeon
>Seriously. This reads like a rough draft. Do you have an editor?
-- If you had been polite, I would have responded to the criticism seriously.
Since you're obviously personally hostile, I will simply say that my editor at
Penguin-Putnam, not to mention the members of my critique group (who include
George R.R. Martin and Walter John Williams) think rather highly of it.
Into the killfile.
JoatSimeon
>The term, "letting the bolt snick home" is hardly sexual in nature.
>The Beavis & Butthead crowd might derive some amusement from it, but
>surely an adult wouldn't.
-- nope, but there's no point in talking to 'em, Doug. Killfile is a wonderful
invention.
John Schilling
>schi...@spock.usc.edu (John Schilling) wrote in message news:<am85ks$8vq$1...@spock.usc.edu>...
>> That is usually not sufficient defense against a skillful troll or flamer.
>I don't think Mr. Stirling is going to change his e-mail address from
>joatsimeon just to escape killfiles.
The problem with trolls is not the posts they write, but the posts they
incite. Their own posts may come from a single, easily blocked account,
but the secondary and tertiary effects come from a multitude of sources,
some of them otherwise desirable posters and not all of them in direct
response to the troll.
Oh, well. Steve's back, so we'll have to see how it goes.
--
*John Schilling * "Anything worth doing, *
*Member:AIAA,NRA,ACLU,SAS,LP * is worth doing for money" *
*Chief Scientist & General Partner * -13th Rule of Acquisition *
*White Elephant Research, LLC * "There is no substitute *
*schi...@spock.usc.edu * for success" *
*661-951-9107 or 661-275-6795 * -58th Rule of Acquisition *
JoatSimeon
>Is it me, or is the above paragraph utterly incoherent?
-- only because the screen and ISP block the spray of spittle... 8-). Best not
to feed the energy creature, Pete; just ignore it.
David Johnston
>
> "Doug Haxton" <dlha...@attbi.com> schrieb
> > On Wed, 18 Sep 2002 18:14:40 +0200, "Karl M. Syring"
> > <syr...@email.com> wrote:
> >
> >
> > >> >Did you masturbate after writing this?
> > >>
> > >> Oh, dear. It seems someone has...issues over firearms.
> > >
> > >See, fragments like "...letting the bolt snick home" are generally to
> be
> > >found in stories that have nothing to do with firearms.
> > >
> > >... taking the pistol out of the holster
> >
> > Actually, I was speaking of Mr. Whelan, not Mr. Stirling. Sorry if
> > that wasn't clear...it just seemed rather odd that he was at his most
> > venomous when speaking of a description of a firearm being loaded.
>
> in writings while he was at high school?
So you are saying that if you are writing about someone on a train, that
train must never go through a tunnel?
John Schilling
>JoatSimeon wrote:
>> Eg., stories dependent on infectious diseases, or on there being blind or deaf
>> people around in any number. I would be very surprised if advances in
>> anti-aging treatments weren't available by then, too.
>Biotech may eliminate infectious diseases, but I think it more likely
>that it will make the problem much, much worse. Designing horrific
>new viruses appears to be disturbingly easy to do.
Designing new viruses of any sort appears to be extremely hard to do.
What is easy, or at least easier than it once was, is fully exploiting
the whole range of old viruses. That has some unpleasant consequences,
but I think it generally favors cure over disease.
We probably will get to the point where designing new viruses to order
becomes practical for terrorists and other malcontents. Hopefully not
before we've got some really good general-purpose antiviral technology,
but that's not a sure thing.
Pete McCutchen
<syr...@email.com> wrote:
>"Rick" <sf.w...@verizon.net> schrieb
>> "Karl M. Syring" <syr...@email.com> wrote in message
>> news:amad07$49h1o$1...@ID-7529.news.dfncis.de...
>>
>> > Because Stirling should have learned to avoid such sexual
>connotations
>> > in writings while he was at high school?
>>
>> Perhaps the so-called sexual connotations tell more about those that
>imagine
>> them than the writer.
>
>Well, if you can not recognize "them" in that massive concentration, you
>just have cognitive deficits.
I really think you're reading stuff into the passage that's not there.
Stirling may have a dirty mind at times -- consider all those
lesbians, after all -- but that specific passage doesn't strike me as
being particularly suggestive.
--
Pete McCutchen
Karl M. Syring
No, it means that getting ass-fucked with a 10'' dildo is no fun at all.
Sheesh, must leave now ... move into target-rich environment
Karl M. Syring
David Dyer-Bennet
> On 18 Sep 2002 12:49:28 -0500, David Dyer-Bennet <dd...@dd-b.net>
> wrote:
>
> >joats...@aol.com (JoatSimeon) writes:
> >
> >> I think we SFnal types are probably overestimating future progress in computers
> >> and AI, and underestimating some field where the real dramatic breakthroughs
> >> will occur.
> >>
> >> Biotech would be my guess, since the theoretical breakthroughs are just
> >> starting to be translated into useful products.
> >>
> >> If so, this will be a souce of many SFnal embarassments by the 2030's, 40's and
> >> 50's.
> >>
> >> Eg., stories dependent on infectious diseases, or on there being blind or deaf
> >> people around in any number. I would be very surprised if advances in
> >> anti-aging treatments weren't available by then, too.
> >
> ><bitter>Yeah, but they probably won't work for people past puberty,
> >in the first generation.</bitter>
>
> And even then, they'll only be anti-aging, not aging-reversers. I
> fully expect to be physically 65 (or so) for quite some time while the
> eternally-22 get all the chicks.
Age will be an exotic and interesting condition, and we will get *all*
the chicks we can handle. Don't worry about it.
Rick
news:amasop$486n9$1...@ID-7529.news.dfncis.de...
> No, it means that getting ass-fucked with a 10'' dildo is no fun at all.
Well, I am sure you'll never let anyone do THAT to you again...
Paul F. Dietz
> Designing new viruses of any sort appears to be extremely hard to do.
> What is easy, or at least easier than it once was, is fully exploiting
> the whole range of old viruses. That has some unpleasant consequences,
> but I think it generally favors cure over disease.
What I meant was modifying existing viruses in unpleasant
ways.
For example: the Australians are working on adding genes for
proteins from rabbit or fox male reproductive tissue to viruses so
that the viruses excite an autoimmune response that sterilizes
the animals. Do the same thing with a human virus, except
use a protein that's expressed in brain tissue. You could
get a virus that causes the equivalent of experimental
allergic encephalitis, a lethal condition in which
the immune system destroys the brain's myelin.
There was a similar story about Soviet experiments adding
some mouse immune system signalling protein gene to a mouse
virus, causing the virus to be unexpectedly highly lethal.
Similar games could be played with bacteria.
Undoubtedly a defense could be raised against any one kind of these
viruses, just as a defense can be put in place against any
one computer virus. The human body has a security system that
looks like it was designed by Microsoft, though. A general
solution appears to be a hard problem.
Paul
Paul F. Dietz
> >... and sometimes a pencil-symbol is just a penis-symbol.
>
> Do you believe that the bolt of an M1 Garand is a penis-symbol? If
> so, why?
Perhaps he had an unfortunate accident as a child,
and assumes that all male organs have that shape?
Paul
Robert Whelan
I was JOKING, you literal idjit.
Robert Whelan
> >From: Robert Whelan rwh...@amanda.dorsai.GROKorg
>
> >Seriously. This reads like a rough draft. Do you have an editor?
>
> -- If you had been polite, I would have responded to the criticism seriously.
Damn. Why couldn't I be polite? Most of the post I was.
> Since you're obviously personally hostile, I will simply say that my editor at
> Penguin-Putnam, not to mention the members of my critique group (who include
> George R.R. Martin and Walter John Williams) think rather highly of it.
Hostility or no, there are serious problems with this prologue. It's what
reader first encounter when browsing your ook. It's a turn-off. If
George R.R. Martin and Walter John Williams think highly of it, I'd
guess they both depend on editorial input.
Who is your editor? He needs to know, for your sake.
Robert Whelan
> On Wed, 18 Sep 2002 20:00:49 +0200, "Karl M. Syring"
> <syr...@email.com> wrote:
>
> >> >Perhaps the so-called sexual connotations tell more about those that
> >imagine
> >> >them than the writer.
> >>
> >> Indeed. Sometimes a pencil is just a pencil, after all.
> >
> >... and sometimes a pencil-symbol is just a penis-symbol.
>
> Do you believe that the bolt of an M1 Garand is a penis-symbol? If
> so, why?
>
> BTW, do you even know what it looks like? Here's a link:
>
> http://www.biggerhammer.net/manuals/garand/expl-vue.htm
>
> It's part #22. Doesn't like much like a reproductive organ to me, but
> perhaps I'm not imaginative enough.
it's NOT. Karl was joking, (I think) as was I.
Karl M. Syring
Of course, when it comes to penis-symbols, I would vote for
http://www.military.cz/german/guns/panzer3/panzer3.htm
Karl M. Syring
David E. Siegel
> On Wed, 18 Sep 2002 20:01:50 +0200, "Karl M. Syring"
> <syr...@email.com> wrote:
>
> >> The term, "letting the bolt snick home" is hardly sexual in nature.
> >> The Beavis & Butthead crowd might derive some amusement from it, but
> >> surely an adult wouldn't.
> >
>
> Perhaps you should address the point rather than tap-dance. You've
> made the assertion that the phrase, "letting the bolt snick home" is
> sexual in nature. Can you support your point?
>
> Doug
I have seen this phrase, and similar phrases, used in a sexual way,
where the "gun as phallic symbol" metaphore is being used. A SF
example that comes to mind occurs between the two main adult
characters in Spider Robinson's _Night of Power_. But of course I
have also seen such phrases uses in simple description of firearms,
with no obvious sexual suggestion being made. I don't see any
particular sexual suggestion in the passage as quoted.
-DES
Doug Haxton
<rwh...@amanda.dorsai.SPLOKorg> wrote:
>> >> >Perhaps the so-called sexual connotations tell more about those that
>> >imagine
>> >> >them than the writer.
>> >>
>> >> Indeed. Sometimes a pencil is just a pencil, after all.
>> >
>> >... and sometimes a pencil-symbol is just a penis-symbol.
>>
>> Do you believe that the bolt of an M1 Garand is a penis-symbol? If
>> so, why?
>>
>> BTW, do you even know what it looks like? Here's a link:
>>
>> http://www.biggerhammer.net/manuals/garand/expl-vue.htm
>>
>> It's part #22. Doesn't like much like a reproductive organ to me, but
>> perhaps I'm not imaginative enough.
>
>it's NOT. Karl was joking, (I think) as was I.
It didn't seem as if he was doing so, but I'll certainly believe him
if he says otherwise.
Doug
Dave Bonar
> On Wed, 18 Sep 2002 14:47:37 -0400, Robert Whelan
> <rwh...@amanda.dorsai.GROKorg> wrote:
>
> >> Well, if you can not recognize "them" in that massive concentration, you
> >> just have cognitive deficits.
> >
> >Well, what made me make that joke was, the character is SO underdescribed,
> >he doesn't seem to have a sexuality at all.
>
> Why would sex have to come up in the first few pages?
>
> > All the personal history
> >jammed in there says nothing about him as other than a soldier, with
> >soldier ancestors. Did he ever have a sweetheart, before the war?
> >Did he ever love a Korean girl?
First you slam the author for inserting details then you want him to add
more?
Dave