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[Sith War 9] GOTHam City/ Spring Break

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Rainbow Heron

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Mar 15, 2002, 10:13:28 PM3/15/02
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Oh what the hell, we need one right about now.

===Part One: Gotham City Joker?===

"Are they GONE yet?!?!" Alice was getting more than a little impatient
from waiting in the trunk of the Jump-DMC for three hours straight.

"Nope, they're still some milling about." Seanpuff looked out the
peephole in the center of one of the headlights. In order for the
group to get back to the fotress from the mall, they had to drive thru
downtown RASSM City, where the Goths reigned supreme at present.
"WOAH! Slow down Hot ROddish!!!! You don't wanna run over anything
with us in here now do ya?!"

"ODDISH!" He was trying his best.

The trunk of the Jump-DMC was constructed to be a safe zone for all
DJs who happened to find themselves in...well...strange situations.
The Goth Ray certainly qualified. Only Hot ROddish and PeterPika were
not in the trunk- after all *someone* had to drive the thing back, and
being in a hopelessly crowded car trunk didn't make driving the thing
my remote control very easy.

"Keep checking yourselves for any changes guys!" Ianpuff called out to
them.

"Pika!" They were fine. So far none of the Pokemon had been affected.
Alice made sure they crept out of the trunk into the 'cab' part (using
the trap door) every so often to make sure. But she herself hadn't
come out yet. She just sat there in the trunk, looking out the
peephole of the left front headlight and barely said a word. She just
sat still.

Ewanpuff, however, never sits still. "So why is it that when we had to
get out of the car for gas that we didn't turn into those
feaky-looking...freaks?"

"You mean you'd LIKE to look like someone sucked the blood out of your
body?!" Ianpuff wasn't enjoying the weirdfest one bit. "See I couldn't
take that."

"Where's your sense of adventure, Bro?" Hamillpuff found the
transformation of the city interesting, even if it did look rather
drab by now.

"All I know is that we're not native to this area so that might have
something to do with it." Seanpuff wondered in the dark of the trunk.
"After all, Pokemon *aren't* from RASSM Space."

"So you mean we don't get the all-white look?" Hamillpuff frowned.

Ianpuff thought it was disgusting, "You mean you'd LIKE to go around
looking like the Joker?"

"Well, YEAH! It'd be FUN!!!!!"

"Doesn't look like they're having much fun to me. I mean LOOK at 'em!
They look so sad and depressed and hopeless and whipped, and-"

"That's enough Ianpuff you're making me depressed," Alice said in a
rather saddened tone.

The others were shocked. "Say what's eating you Alice?" Hamillpuff as
genuinely concerned but still on his high from the Joker idea.

"I just feel like being alone for a while," she said. She didn't sound
like herself.

===Part Two: Two-Face===

Ianpuff frowned and crawled out thru the trap door to go sit on the
front seat.

Alice turned to look at him with a great sorrow in her voice: "I'm
sorry, Ianpuff. I didn't mean it like that."

"You don't sound too well sweetie," Jedichu tried to look at Alice in
the dark. He crawled forward to see if she'd gotten the flu or food
poisoning or something from the mall food. "You feel rather cold. You
okay?"

"I don't feel like myself all of a sudden."

Seanpuff and Ianpuff got royally scared. "Say wait a minute, Pokemon
aren't from RASSM Space, in fact they aren't even cannon to Star Wars
dimensions-" Seanpuff started "-But YOU ARE!" Ianpuff finished.

"At least by *half* anyway..." Hamillpuff didn't feel too happy either
all of a sudden.

Jedichu was terrified. "Alice, turn on the light in the trunk."

"No" Alice moaned.

"Alice..." Jedichu prayed that what he thought was happening wasn't
happening.

Alice just sat still, getting irritable. "I shouldn't have gotten out
of the car for that gas- that's all."

Jedichu opened the trap door and got out a small mirror from Alice's
bookbag in the trunk and shined the light on her face. "HEY! What
the-?!?!" She shrank away from the light.

Jedichu screamed.

Hot ROddish and PeterPika damn near crashed the car. They managed to
stop on the side of the road. The rest of the Pokemon crawled out of
the trunk and into the cab, leaving Alice in the trunk all alone and
shivering.

Jedichu poked his head back in and held out his hand, "C'mon Alice."

"I won't."

"C'mon PLEEEEEAAAAAASE? We'll get it fixed! I PROMISE!!!!" Hamillpuff
pleaded.

"I-it's not really all THAT bad." Ianpuff shielded his eyes and got
very very embarassed with himself.

Hot ROddish and PeterPika started to tear up, since they didn't know
what was wrong with Alice.

After several minutes, Alice finally poked her head out of the trunk
and crawled into the cabin. The Pokemon gasped. "I shouldn't have got
out of the car. I should have stayed in the trunk."

Exactly one half of Alice's body and clothing had lost it's color,
grown spikes, and turned into cold black leather. Exaclty one half of
her had gone Goth. For once, having half of her heritage in Star Wars
cannon worked to her disadvantage. Jedichu started to worry for
himself. After all, he was a PokeWorld/Star Wars hybrid too.

The others just sat there and started to cry. Hot ROddish and
PeterPika crawled into her lap and hugged her. Alice tried to comfort
them, "I know how you feel guys, believe me, I do."

She sighed and looked at her upset Pokemon. "I'll think of
*some*thing..."

===Part Three: Riddle Me This...===

"You're going to WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" Jedichu couldn't believe his
ears. "You know the boss is gonna KILL us for this! Heck with *us*
he's just going to kill YOU!!!!!!"

"Look, they can't fire me from this gig, right?"

"Right," answered all of them.

"And I can't go around looking half-Goth, right?"

"Right."

"And I don't know of any other way of getting rid of this short of
going home...right?"

"Right."

"And we can't exactly go home and leave RASSM Planet behind looking
all dead. Right?"

"I guess..." they all started to bend to the general idea. Everyone
except Jedichu. "You know the boss is probably testing you to see what
you do, especially since he hasn't called wondering where in the hell
you are yet."

"I'm betting it's the time difference." Alice drove the car with the
frenzy of someone who had just gotten a wild and very suicidal
idea...which she had.

"I'm betting you're gonna end up in the can again, Alice." Jedichu
crossed his arms and slumped back into the opening of the trunk.

"Doesn't matter, I've got specific orders, authority, perks, and
leeway in my job description, and by golly I'm gonna USE them!"
Jedichu just slipped back into the trunk. "I still think you're making
a mistake here," he called out from behind the closed trap door.

The others wondered what it was that Alice was considering. Ianpuff
was the first to speak up (voice cracking because whenever Alice and
Jedichu royally disagree, usually something disasterous happens and
they all end up in detention at the DJ Headquarters): "Um, w-what
exactly do y-y-you have in mind here Alice?"

Alice was on a roll.

"Hamillpuff, riddle me this: what's a pale vampire afraid of, most
noticeably after the winter?"

"Uh-"

"And riddle me *this* too! How do you counter death and hate?"

"With-"

"AND! How do you generally bring a mass of people back to life after a
rotten 5 weekdays?"

"Well-"

Alice turned around to smile at the group who had all decided to sit
in the back seats in case she turned manic on them or something. "You
get them to have a lively, lovely, sunny, weekend!!!!"

They all just looked at each other, wondering what she would do.

===Part Four: Even Bats go on Spring Break===

Alice parked the Jump-DMC by a large, black building (well they were
all large, black buildings by now) and walked in. It used to be a
Loose Lucy's with all kinds of hippie-wear, now it was wall-to-wall
leather, metal, and see-thru gausy stuff. How depressing. There were
also a few guys and gals in the back, smoking stuff and making out. At
least that part hadn't changed*.

Keeping her left side (her Goth side) towards the stoned store guys,
she purchased and put on a large black robe complete with cowl (to
hide her non-Goth side). She then walked out of the Loose Lucy's and
into a Radio Shack across the street. After making a small purchase,
she drove her small crew over to the biggest radio station in town.

Ewanpuff was all nervous as he watched her get out of the car, "You
sure you can fudge this okay?"

"I think I'm getting the hang of it. If nothing else, I can find out
if I'm wrong," she raced inside the radio station.

The Pokemon all sat in the car and nervously waited for Alice to
return. PeterPika crawled up beside Hamillpuff and Ianpuff. "Pika
Pika?"

"No I don't think covering our ears will make it go away," Ianpuff
sighed.

Over the sounds of heavy metal and glam rock from the guys in the
hallways (and strolling right past the dead-looking security guys who
didn't seem to care that she was where she didn't belong) Alice made
it into the sound booth and hooked up a few cables to the large
broadcasting dishes outside. She then took a microphone from one of
the sleeping DJs and turned it on full blast:

"ATTENTION RASSMERS! MY TAROT TELLS ME THAT IT'S TIME FOR SOME MASS
MOSHING! THAT'S RIGHT DEADHEADS, IT'S TIME FOR ...SPRING BREAK!!!!!!"

All around RASSM City, the Goth-stricken dared to go near their
windows to look outside to see who this half-cheery voice was.

"TO CELEBRATE THE DEATH OF WINTER AND THE REBIRTH OF THE WORLD, THERE
IS A GOTHSTOCK BEING HELD AT BEAUTIFUL AND TRENDY RASSM BEACH!"

She could feel the unbelief and silence as she paused for breath.
"FREE BEER, PIZZA, AND WEED FOR ALL!" Then she paused for one last
clincher, "CURTOSEY OF THE PORKINITES AND OUR SPECIAL SPONSOR CHATEU
DES ORDINATEURS!"

The Pokemon cringed from inside the Jump-DMC. Yep, she'd gone bonkers
on them. They pulled out one of Alice's tie-dye blankets and hid
underneath it as all around them, the RASSM Goths slowly walked out
from their lifeless and sunless abodes and started walking (in full
zombie mode) down to the RASSM Beach.

The Pokemon listened with dread for the next couple of minutes as
Alice continued to sweeten the deal for the Goths who were now coming
out in droves. It made the Pokemon more nervous than a hive of
over-caffinated wasps.

Finally, Alice came back into the car. "Thanks guys, we'll be needing
this." She took the blanket off from the top of them and began to
drive quickly towards the beach. She needed to make it down there
before anyone else, and she was being extra careful not to run over
anybody. It got pretty hairy as she drove past the Hall of Ham as
massively huge humans and aliens (all whiter than flour and
frightfully thin from depression) began to crowd the streets. Somehow
she made it to the sands before the rest of them.

Taking the tie-dye blanket and leaving the Pokemon in the car to
cringe, she pulled out a strange-looking box and extended the antenna.
As she began to press in vast amounts of numbers, locations, and
cleareance codes, Ianpuff crawled out of the Jump-DMC and tugged on
the leather spikes on her left boot. "You know, you and the Headless
Morseman could hit it off pretty good if you don't go through with
this Alice," he weakly razzed.

She shot him a look and continued to press buttons. "Don't y'all trust
me Ianpuff?"

"Well if all the Goth stuff is any indication..." -Alice looked at him
with raised eyebrows- "...uh, no. Not at the moment, nope."

She frowned and turned back to her contraption.

"If they do take us home after this, I hope they give you a good head
exam."

Alice picked up the tie-dye blanket and began to wave it at the air.
"After all we've been thru so far, Ianpuff, I wouldn't be surprised if
they did."

She pressed the "execute" button.

===Part Four: Princess Primrose** and the Merry Pranksters===

All along the coastline were throngs of Goths, and right along with
them were throngs of hippies. Bright, happy, loving, fun, pure 60's
hippies!

The sunlight, lovefest, flowers, and free food would shape up those
Goths in no time. Some of them had already begun to smile again, and
several were using their studded dog collars as impromptu tamborines.

It was a lovefest of epic proportions, and Alice was in BIG trouble.
No sooner as the hippies appeared out of thin air, then the emergency
phone went off in her Delorean's cockpit.

"GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Alice's immediate boss at headquarters was Lt. Dan Taylor. He called
everybody "Gump", espicially when they had royally screwed up over
something so stupidly basic.

"Hey boss!" She replied as if nothing was wrong and all was perfect.

"ALICE! YOU REALLY SCREWED UP THIS TIME POKEGIRL!"

"Ah but the sky is blue, the grass is green, the flowers are blooming,
and-"

"YOU GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT YOUNG LADY!"

"Oh I'm afraid I can't do *that* right now. You see, I just got myself
clearance for this area, and under the jurisdiction rules, I can-"

"YOU'RE COMING BACK HERE THIS INSTANT! WE'LL DEAL WITH THOSE HIPPIES
LATER!"

Suddenly, Alice and the Pokemon started to feel a bit nauseous. The
Emergency eXtraction Inconvenience Teleportation Sequence (or EXITS)
had begun. They began to feel themselves losing their grip on RASSM
reality and were beginning to visually fade to everyone around them.
Not that anyone was paying any attention to *them* just then.

Seanpuff and Ianpuff looked at Alice and groaned. "Well, they're
taking us home. I hope you're happy," Seanpuff sighed and watched his
hands begin to get teleported home.

"Oh we'll be back! After all, they don't give out spring breaks at the
DJS. We'll be back in RASSM before anyone notices we're gone!"

Jedichu had decided to crawl out of the trunk and surveyed the
slowly-transforming crowd. "Couldn't leave it alone could you? You HAD
to use DJS technology! We're gonna end up in the detention slammer for
sure!"

"I'm more worried about that crack you made about Hack-boy picking up
the bill," worried Ianpuff.

"After all he's done to us, he deserves to get picked on a bit-"

By now they were fading so fast that you could see clean through them.

"-Besides, the hippies will vanish before the day is out and there
won't be any tab to pick up anyway."

Ewanpuff looked over towards a group of Porkinites who were now
dancing with a few flower girls. One of them was wearing suspenders
and a hanky hat. Suddenly it hit him. "HEY ALICE! WE CAN'T GO YET!!!
ISN'T THAT-?" He got teleported and vanished from sight. The others
began to follow one by one.

Alice looked up as the EXITS took her too. Probably into another
detention cell, but at least she'd get some medical attention for her
Gothic state...and some time to better plan a defense strategy for the
next time the Jedi Hacker decided to give her hell.

Seanpuff was at least glad he'd get to see Wiggly-tough again.
PeterPika was looking forward to getting back to his garden and
chilling with Hot ROddish and the Headless Horseman. Ianpuff hoped
that the boss would spare the royal multi-dimensional shouting
lecture. Hamillpuff freaked when he saw Princess Primrose amoungst the
hippies.

Jedichu simply sighed and took an asprin as he faded too, and finally
so did the Jump-DMC.

Somewhere on the beach, a hippy began to play "Spirit in the Sky".

============
SUMMARY:
-Alice was turned only half-Goth by the Goth ray as her heritage
prevented her from getting the 'full treatment'
-Alice went against her better judgement and rigged a radio station to
get the Goths to go on Spring Break at RASSM Beach
-Alice went against DJS rules and used their technology to transport a
huge Hippiefest to RASSM Beach where the Goths are
-Alice left the Spring Break 'tab' with the Prokinites again, but also
included the Jedi Hacker in it this time as well
-furious at Alice, the squad teleported her, all her Pokemon, and her
ship back home...most likely to spend some time in detention
-The Porkinites and Jedi Hacker really don't need to worry about
picking up the tab, the hippies will vanish on their own eventually
============

*Loose Lucy's is a small chain store in my home state that sells
hippie-wear. One of my favorite clothing stores actually. No they
don't smoke pot or make out in the store, but they do burn incense.

**Princess Primrose was a character in two of the tv 60s Batman
Episdoes.

PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE someone expland on the Hippiefest/Gothstock!
PLEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEE?!?!?!?!

Don't worry hacker, Alice will be back veeeeeeeeeeeery soon!

-Rainbow Heron
(sig hopes everyone is having a good holiday)

*I* on the other hand, won't be going anywhere.
==========================================
http://web.infoave.net/~rkanderson/rassm/swc.htm
Rainbow Heron's Sith War Characters Page
==========================================
Who needs kids when you've got Pokémon?!

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