[Sith War IX] Taxes; Turnabout
Peter Hanely
The Comedian was prepared to any reasonable developement from the
audit. It had memorized both the submitted tax return and all umpteen
pages of tax code. The only possable unknown was the auditor, though
he was certain to be an idiot.
The auditor was met at the door. "Greetings, madam." No real suprise,
an older frumpy woman. Being met by a talking penguin in a tuxedo,
however, was a big suprise for her. Point Hacker, keep them off
balance. It pulled out one of its laughing gas cigars. "Mind if I
smoke?" The dower look on her face at the question was answer enough.
"As you wish."
Escorting her to a conference room, "So, my little lady," a little
flattery, she almost giggled, "what might be the problem?"
Pulling out a copy of the forms, nearly an inch of them, "Sir, there's a
bit of a problem with entertainment expenses."
The Comedian scanned through the papers. These weren't what its master
had filed. This would take some drastic action. Made the more complex
by these being copies rather than origionals. "A moment, my lady."
Waddling to a terminal, it ordered up a special package. In a moment an
R2 droid rolled in and handed the penguin a vial.
"Now, where were we?", as it opened the palmed vial and sprinkled it's
contents on the pages. "Oh yes, entertainment expenses. Could you
point out a problem point?" Leafing through the papers, a most puzzled
look came over her face.
"Can I come back another time? There seems to be a problem with my
notes." The offending 'entertainment' deduction had been restored to
the proper 'defence' expense. It would be discovered, but it had bought
time.
To be continued next war...
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Turnabout is fair play.
Far above the desolate planet, the giant PDA slipped out of hyperspace
and disgorged hundreds of droid fighters. Below, panic ensued.
Pilling into the jump DMC, Alice and her company took off, right into
the sights if the PDA's ion cannon. Lightning surged out, like a
thousand pikachus, shorting out the targets electronics.
And like most untested superweaponsis also backfired.
Across the PDA, power glitched and computers rebooted and auxillery
kicked in. A pit droid manning the cannon had fallen into the beam.
Droid fighters survived only by their lightning armor, added in
expectation of a certain well known attack.
Aboard the two ships, crews raced to repair systems. The PDA needed
only enough power for a tractor beam to win. Soon, the Jump DMC was
slowly pulled into a shuttle bay and the outer door closed and sealed.
A green fog filled the bay. Fighting frantically to get something,
anything, to work, Alice saw a shaddow in the fog, followed by a bean
bag crashing through the window.
--------------------------------------
It would take days to rebuild systems from the damage. R5-P1 would be
severely reprimanded for using pit droids. But in the meantime, there
were captives to deal with.
For the critters, the Hacker had no intensions beyond getting rid of
them. A shuttle had been prepared, and with the vermine tucked in their
pokeballs, the autopilot would fly them home.
For Alice, he had more elaberate plans, starting with reprogramming.
Direct manipulation of a humans higher brain functions was as likely to
result in a lobotomy as anything. Lower brain functions, primitive
animal emotions, were easier to deal with.
First injecting nanites into her bloodstream, she was then moved into a
personal holosphere. When she woke, reprogramming would begin.
--------------------------------------
Alice awoke in total darkness, total silence. Then from the shaddows,
'Jedichu' attacked. Directed by an implant, Pain, Fear. Over and over,
each of 'her pokemon' in turn delivered an attack. After hours, so it
seemed, the attacks ended, a door opened. The Hacker stood there,
offering a drink. Against all her experiance, Alice felt comfort at the
sight.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Summary:
- The tax problems can be expected to continue.
- The pokemon have been seperated from Alice, and should arrive at their
home planet in plenty of time for the next war.
- The Jedi Hacker Has control over Alices emotions, though an implanted
chip. He is brainwashing her to accept him as a friend and view pokemon
as monsters. She'll be released in time for the next war.
- This war is, as far as I'm concerned, over.
--
The Jedi Hacker
"A Jedi uses the code for queries and filters, never for cracks."
http://www.calweb.com/~hanelyp/SW/Chateau_des_Ordinateurs.html
Policraticus: The Real McEwok
> - This war is, as far as I'm concerned, over.
[And there was much rejoicing!]
Pol'
C'Pi
"Policraticus: The Real McEwok" <policr...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:b0714bad.02042...@posting.google.com...
HOORAY!!!!
C'Pi
Muuurgh
"C'Pi" <jas...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:aa2gb1$76lkd$1...@ID-111793.news.dfncis.de...
There was a war?
-Muuurgh
Jade Lemonade
"Muuurgh" <ste...@phrogh.com> wrote in message
news:aa2kmm$764c1$1...@ID-104752.news.dfncis.de...
Aww! I thought of Hanely as the keeper of the flame...just like Charbroil.
Jade
--
The flame is extinguished...
M. Harris
H.A.R.R.I.S. cackled maniacally, "YES! You see, my feline friends?(1)
All I had to do was wait! NOW /I/ RULE THE SITH WAR. It's OVER and I
WON because all I had to do was wait. Everybody else is GONE. So
NYAH. MUWAHAHAHAHAha" ha- hackcoughsplutter.
IwinIwinIwin! [insane giggling]
--
(1) my army of mangy cats