[Sith War 9.5] PokePals Return to RASSM (REPOST!)
Rainbow Heron
I posted this days ago, but according to my sources, this never showed
up! Why is my newsserver being so mean to me? :-( I apologize if you
are seeing this a second time.
================================================
While Alice may not be heard from until about Sith War 10...the
*Pokemon* are still up and at it.
============
The large transport had reached the edge of Usenet and could go no
further, so it simply dropped its cargo in the dead of space, turned
tail and went home.
Inside, six lonely Pokeballs squrimed around in the driver's seat of a
modified Delorean- its occupants trying desperately to break free.
"HHMMMPH!!!! You'd think I'd remember to fit an emergency hatch into
mine!!!"
"Hehehe. Mr. Spygame there forgot to have an escape route?" Hamillpuff
didn't really care whether he was in his Pokeball or not. He was too
busy drawing pictures all over the inside of his.
Seanpuff and the others were pissed. The little ones, Hot ROddish and
PeterPika were still bawling and crying for their "PokeMommy", Alice.
They were scared and worried to death. Ianpuff was trying
unsucessfully to recite some poetry to them to hopefully calm them
down.
Seanpuff bounced around hoping to make his Pokeball hit something or
at least break open. "URGH!! OOF! OUCH! ARGH! SUNOVA
#^$&$(*^#$^#*!)(!!!!!"
"Hey watch it there old timer! They're supposed to keep you in when
you're tired. Save it and you can break out!" Ewanpuff shouted.
"Oh like YOU ever sat still a day in your life, Ewanpuff!!!"
"No really! See? I just push this button and I-"
"I KNOW WHICH BUTTON TO PUSH!"
"Yeah YOURS!" Ianpuff shouted back, annoyed that the fighting was
making the little ones more upset.
"-damn it didn't work. Why'd Alice put the extra lock on mine again?"
Ewanpuff bitched, even tho he knows the answer.
Hamillpuff put away his felt tipped pen for a minute. "Oh you mean
*this* little red button here?"
*POOCK!-fooosh*
Hamillpuff was free of his Pokeball. "Dude, that was easy!"
"That's cuz you don't have the extra lock on yours!" gripped Ewanpuff
as Seanpuff's Pokeball smacked in to his. "You think you can get the
rest of us out now?"
============
The six of them stretched their legs as best they could in the
Jump-DMC. There was absolutely NOTHING to eat and Seanpuff was unable
to get a reliable location lock on Alice's personal beacon.
Ewanpuff kicked his Pokeball -extra lock and all- under the passenger
side seat and then stuck out his tongue at it. "Man I loathe those
gosh-awful things!!!! So, what do we do now...boss?"
Seanpuff turned around to the rest of them. In the absence of Alice
and Jedichu, he was the boss. "Well, we can't contact headquarters so
we're on our own. We obviously can't stay here and there's nothing
around for a few million parsecs..." -he stopped when he noticed
PeterPika staring to tear up- "so there's only one thing left to do.
Hot ROddish has to drive us back to RASSM."
Hot ROddish was excited. The others weren't so sure.
Ianpuff spoke up first. "We can't go back to the Shaven Wookies cuz
they're all hibernating, so they couldn't help us. So who do we go
to?"
The others all sat and pondered this for a long time. At long last
Hamillpuff's stomach growled.
"THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ewanpuff screamed so loudly the others nearly
hit the roof. "When we left the beach, I thought I saw-"
"Yeah, who DID you think you saw?! You wouldn't stop babbling about it
in the cell for two weeks." Ianpuff would gladly be the first to tell
you that when Ewanpuff babbles, it's enough to make your head implode.
"Okay you WON'T beLIEVE IT! I didn't either almost, but the hanky hat
was the giveaway!"
Everyone's jaws dropped. Seanpuff managed to control his. "Y-you mean
you saw-?"
"YEP!"
"Well then, what are we waiting for?!?! LET'S EAT!!!" Hamillpuff
bounced.
"You mean let's *go*. We gotta go before we can eat." Ianpuff's
stomach growled too.
Hot ROddish and PeterPika took their positions at the steering wheel
and footpedals. Ewanpuff tried desperately to open his now-wedged-in
Pokeball to escape the coming torture.
============
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! EXCUSE US!! MAKE WAY!!!!!"
The Jump-DMC speeded thru a crossing guard newsgroup and narrowly
missed a Cornflake appreciation one in the process. At this erratic
pace, they'd past the alt.* groups in no time, but it'd still be late
morning (a good 16 hours) before they'd hit the rec.* sector.
They'd pass their hideout group along the way too, but they couldn't
stop to pick up Jedichu and risk the Hacker still being there.
Besides, Jedichu needed to help rally the rest of the group.
"OOPS! MAKE WAY- COMING THRU!!!!!! WE'RE SORRY WE'RE SORRY WE'RE
SOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOORRY ALREADY!!!!!!!!!"
"ACK! MY EYES!!!!! I CAN'T WATCH THIS!!!"
"ODDISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (WHEEEEEEEEEEEE)"
"Where's the fire extingusher?!?!"
"Pika-a-a-a? (can we stop for barbeque?)"
alt.flame groups
============
"Oddish! Oddishoddishoddish!!!!"
Everyone managed to stop being thrown all over the ship and grab ahold
of something stable as they came in for a landing on RASSM Planet.
A rough landing.
A VERY rough landing!
<snip near-fatal crash scene>
After they finished rolling the Jump-DMC (undamaged) into a nearby
cave, activating the security alarms, and covering it with all sorts
of camoflauge, the six Pokemon made their way towards the nearest
building on the edge of town, a Super Wal-Mart.
To look less conspicuous, they went in thru the garden center & toy
section.
Hot ROddish was the only one who didn't have to hold his nose as they
passed the fertilizer, but when they saw the toy section, they all put
their hunger aside for a few minutes and happily browsed the aisles
looking for something they could use.
PeterPika found a handsome plush replication of a Pikachu and
pretended to have a conversation with it. Ianpuff and Seanpuff headed
to the Lego section to see if they could talk to anything.
Hamillpuff and Ewanpuff could always be counted upon.
"BOUNCY BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The two tried to liberate a couple of large blue balls at the bottom
of the large ball dispenser and ended up liberating the whole stash.
As balls rolled down the various aisles, the two had fun playing dodge
ball with an unsuspecting Barbie corvette.
A bouncy ball rolled past Ianpuff and Seanpuff (who had climbed on
each other's shoulders to try and reach the Bionicles cuz the
Spielburg Studios weren't talking) and nearly knocked them off of
their feet. "HEY WATCH IT!"
"JIGGLYPUFF!" screamed a young voice.
">>oh no<< HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!"
The five-year-old chased the two eldest Jigglypuffs around the bike
section and into the stuffed plushes, where PeterPika had set up a
small animal parade. The three of them ducked behind a large stuffed
smiley face as the child passed, cried, and was carried off my his
Mommy.
Just then a little yellow Jedi hot rod car pulled up and beeped. They
peeked out and saw that Hot ROddish had rigged up the battery and
wheel packs of a rc car to the little vehicle.
"PERFECT!" Ianpuff cheered. "But I don't think that we can all fit
into that one."
"ODDISH!" Hot ROddish led them to the aisle where all the brand new
AOTC figures were displayed. Ewanpuff and Hamillpuff rolled in behind
them on basketballs. After the five of them had taken their obligatory
hour to stand there and drool, they noticed the five extra hot rod
cars that Hot ROddish had rigged for them.
============
Ignoring the screams and cries from the little kids, parents, and
security guards, the six Pokemon drove their way out of the Super
Wal-Mart (crashing into a stand of apples and stopping to pick up a
few to throw at the guards along the way).
"Great thinking Hot ROddsih!!!" Seanpuff shouted above the sound of
rushing air all around them as they drove. "Now where do you suppose
we can find it?"
"Pikachu, Pika-p?"
"No the Lego aisle wouldn't talk to us."
"Chu :-( "
<SCREEEECH!>
The six Pokemon zoomed out of the parking lot and onto the street. it
took a couple of moments to re-group after nearly causing a pile-up.
Hamillpuff passed a silver BMW. "Hey how about an Internet Cafe? We
could at least ask for directions!"
Ewanpuff pulled up beside Ianpuff and PeterPika after checking out a
cute-looking Rodian in a Mustang convertible. "Yeah! And maybe get the
latest curling scores too! HEY! NO PASSING ON THE RIGHT YOU JERK!!!!"
<beepbeepbeep> <finger> <swearing>
"Hey that reminds me," Ianpuff pulled out a packaged AOTC figure. "I
managed to pay for this one, Zam Wessel. Pretty cool eh?!"
"Yeah, REALLY cool!!!!" Seanpuff started drooling and almost ran into
a cyclist.
"Oddish!!!!" Hot ROddish found an internet cafe just up to the right.
"I LOVE that outfit!" Hamillpuff said as they turned into the parking
lot. "I think it'd look great on Alice don't you?!"
<much giggling>
============
Six modified Jedi hot rod cars lined the underside of the table where
feet normally would have. Up on the table, Seanpuff, Ianpuff, and
Ewanpuff were trying desperately to get rid of a few persistent pop-up
ads to get the latest curling scores. Apparently the Dugs are terrible
at curling, and the Ewoks rule it- they always manage to curl
themselves at least once during every match.
It wasn't the popup ads or the fact that they couldn't get any *home*
scores that ate away at them, it was the checking the inbox every five
minutes to see if their Python/gum chat pal had gotten their email
yet.
Hot Roddish busied himself trying to convince a group of ex-Trade
Federation loyalists that giving money to those who have none for food
was considered a charity and makes for a great tax write-off.
PeterPika found a small bag of tiny boomers that a Gungan had left
there earlier and stuffed Ianpuff's Zam Wessel figure into it.
Hamillpuff just sat at the window and watched the cars go by,
wondering who or what would put up a very large statue of a very fat
fighter pilot in the middle of a pile of spam just across the
street...
============
SUMMARY:
-Hacker's transport leaves the Jump-DMC and occupants at the very edge
of Usenet
-the Pokemon break out of their Pokeballs and manage to make it back
to RASSM Planet
-Hot ROddish rigged six very nice Jedi hot rod cars for the Pokemon
-the Pokemon are trying to reach a certain friend they met in a chat
room a long time ago (and whom Ewanpuff is positive he saw at the
beach during spring break) for help
-no word on Alice, Jedichu, or Hack-boy
============
Yeah, I don't like the title either...
-Rainbow Heron
(sig hopes their friend finds them)
I see Newbies, I see rants...
==========================================
http://web.infoave.net/~rkanderson/rassm/swc.htm
Rainbow Heron's Sith War Characters Page
==========================================
Who needs kids when you've got Pokémon?!
Darth Gumby
>I posted this days ago, but according to my sources, this never showed
>up! Why is my newsserver being so mean to me? :-( I apologize if you
>are seeing this a second time.
Even if it did post twice (not on my server, though) it'd be worth it.
<.sigs agree and glare at anyone that would lecture RH for being polite>
>"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! EXCUSE US!! MAKE WAY!!!!!"
>
>The Jump-DMC speeded thru a crossing guard newsgroup and narrowly
>missed a Cornflake appreciation one in the process. At this erratic
>pace, they'd past the alt.* groups in no time, but it'd still be late
>morning (a good 16 hours) before they'd hit the rec.* sector.
>
>They'd pass their hideout group along the way too, but they couldn't
>stop to pick up Jedichu and risk the Hacker still being there.
>Besides, Jedichu needed to help rally the rest of the group.
>
>"OOPS! MAKE WAY- COMING THRU!!!!!! WE'RE SORRY WE'RE SORRY WE'RE
>SOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOORRY ALREADY!!!!!!!!!"
>
>"ACK! MY EYES!!!!! I CAN'T WATCH THIS!!!"
>
>"ODDISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (WHEEEEEEEEEEEE)"
>
>"Where's the fire extingusher?!?!"
>
>"Pika-a-a-a? (can we stop for barbeque?)"
>
>alt.flame groups
ROTFLOL!
>"No the Lego aisle wouldn't talk to us."
GAHAHAHAHAHA!
>Hamillpuff just sat at the window and watched the cars go by,
>wondering who or what would put up a very large statue of a very fat
>fighter pilot in the middle of a pile of spam just across the
>street...
<.sigs giggle and say "yeah, I wonder who?">
>Yeah, I don't like the title either...
Do you have the death sentence in 12 systems?
>-Rainbow Heron
>(sig hopes their friend finds them)
<.sigs hope so too and kick DG in the heels>
>I see Newbies, I see rants...
I saw a movie with Mark Hamill in... (no, not his underpants, that would've been
really freaky) a hospital gown (close enough, eh?), running about with some
teenagers trying to steal a 250 year old spaceship.
>==========================================
>http://web.infoave.net/~rkanderson/rassm/swc.htm
>Rainbow Heron's Sith War Characters Page
>==========================================
>Who needs kids when you've got Pokémon?!
Gumby
--
"I think my brain hurts"
-- Prof. C.H. Gumby, from I, Gumby