2001: A SPACE TRAVESTY
RATING: 2/10
http://www.joblo.com/2001-aspacetravesty.htm For more reviews and movie trailers, visit
http://www.joblo.com/ PLOT:
A bumbling detective is sent to planet Vegan to retrieve the real president of
the Unites States of America, whose clone apparently swapped places with him in
the White House. Hilarity is supposed to ensue, but sadly...doesn't.
CRITIQUE:
If you want more laughs from a movie, rent Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A SPACE
ODYSSEY...trust me, it's funnier. Okay, now let me start by putting down the
basics about this flick: it sucks! Please, for the love of God, do not even
bother watching the trailer or checking out the video-box of this movie when it
eventually hits store shelves nearest you, because you will only be encouraging
this kind of insanely awful filmmaking of getting made in the future. For that
matter, please take down the names of the director, producers and writer of this
crapfest and see that you never have the misfortune of ever seeing anything that
any of them has ever, or will ever, be involved with again. Okay, so that's a
little harsh, but I'm sorry folks...I had to sit through this piece of shit and
to experience something so truly painful a watch, one has to vent out somewhere.
To see dumb jokes fail one after the other, to witness 99% of the so-called
"comedy" drain out into nothingness, and to feel utterly embarrassed when a man
by the name of Leslie Nielsen mugs for the camera, knowing full well that
nothing he is either saying or doing, is even remotely humorous...well, it's
just sad. What's even sadder is that all of these folks actually believed that
this was a project worth making. Of course, it goes without saying that this
film has nothing to do with 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY and that it barely parodies
any other movies either...all it does is establish a lame-ass plotline and throw
every stupid, unfunny toilet joke in there to see if it sticks. Needless to say,
nothing sticks.
The film's also too long for its own good, it features a crappy story, an
over-the-top score (wa-wa-wooong!), dumb attempts at comedic slapstick,
pratfalls galore, lame musical numbers obviously inserted to waste time, bad
special effects, outdated uninteresting celebrity impersonations (Madonna,
Prince and Hulk Hogan???), a particularly dim-witted & never-ending ending,
10-year old jokes (is "I've fallen and I can't get up" still funny to anyone?)
and so many unfunny lines, that I couldn't even begin to remember them all right
here ("I got there as fast as a speeding bullet...if you know what I mean."-now
is that funny or what??). And as much as you don't want to fault an actor like
Leslie Nielsen for this atrocity to the world of comedic film, the man simply
has to take the blame for a lot of this, because it was surely his "name" that
got this project off the ground in the first place. How he could walk through
this role, acting exactly like Lt. Frank Drebin of the Police Squad (from the
"funny" NAKED GUN movies), complete with the off-screen narration (but without
the laughs), is almost as offensive as the amount of money that he was surely
paid to perform in this shit-stick. Listen, I love these "stupid" comedy flicks
as much as the next guy (I consider AIRPLANE and TOP SECRET among my favorite
comedies of all-time), but this piece of gunk is just that. It doesn't provide
any laughs, its idiocy just angers you as it moves along and it sticks plenty of
teaser T&A in there for those video rental numbers to increase. Sadly, I'm still
a horny man and was turned on by the many g-string ass-shots in the film and
even more so, by the lead babe in the movie, one Ophelie Winter, whose hooters
are the only reasons that this movie is getting even two points out of the
possible ten (Note: there is no nudity in this film...just plenty of
teasing!).
This movie has officially been appointed to my all-time shitlist and if this
review can change the mind of even one person from ever seeing this movie in
their life-time, then I believe that I have truly contributed something
worthwhile to society as a whole. Godspeed.
Where's JoBlo coming from?
Airplane (9/10) - Airplane II (8/10) - Galaxy Quest (8/10) - Mafia (5/10) -
Scary Movie (8/10) - Scary Movie 2 (4/10) - Top Secret (9/10)
Review Date: December 6, 2001
Director: Allan A. Goldstein
Writer: Alan Shearman
Producers: Martin Heldmann, Werner Koenig
Actors: Leslie Nielsen as Marshall Dix
Ophelie Winter
Damien Masson
Genre: Comedy?
Year of Release: 2001
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(c) 2001 Berge Garabedian
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