The Cootie Theorem of Food
Eloise Beltz-Decker
consuite-style discussions face to face, it tends to amuse people a lot,
and draw interesting opinions.
I believe certain kinds of food have cooties. Bell peppers,
olives, and raisins, for example, when cooked as part of a dish, cause the
dish to still taste of them even when they have been picked fastidiously
out. I believe that '<food-type> cooties' is a very useful descriptive
concept when attempting to work around food preferences. For example, our
current roommate detests mushrooms, but does not believe they produce
cooties, so we can cook things with mushrooms in, leave them in biggish
chunks, and she'll happily pick them out and leave her portion in the pan
for the rest of us. Certain other ingredients, however, cannot be
afforded this liberality. Nuts, for example, make allergenic cooties that
might kill my betrothed, so are not to be trifled with.
If you think about it, some of the kosher laws are very usefully
explained by means of 'milchig cooties' and 'meat cooties'.
--
Eloise Beltz-Decker + elo...@ripco.com + http://www.fishdragon.com/
"She's just a girl, the apple of your pie in the sky."
- Lucien Lacroix, "Be My Valentine," _Forever Knight_
Dorothy J Heydt
Eloise Beltz-Decker <elo...@ripco.com> wrote:
>
> I believe certain kinds of food have cooties. Bell peppers,
>olives, and raisins, for example, when cooked as part of a dish, cause the
>dish to still taste of them even when they have been picked fastidiously
>out.
Coffee.
Which will not only inoculate any food it's cooked with, but cause
the vessel in which coffee was brewed and the cup in which it was
served to taste of coffee for weeks afterward. This is
particularly pernicious when you're trying to drink tea. Note
that running a hot solution of baking soda through the container
will remove the coffee cooties. (E.g., when trying to make tea
in the hotel coffeemaker.)
Dorothy J. Heydt
Albany, California
djh...@kithrup.com
http://www.kithrup.com/~djheydt
Julia Jones
Eloise Beltz-Decker <elo...@ripco.com> writes
>I believe certain kinds of food have cooties. Bell peppers,
>olives, and raisins, for example, when cooked as part of a dish, cause the
>dish to still taste of them even when they have been picked fastidiously
>out.
Coriander leaf (cilentro?). Ick. Makes everything it has been near, let
alone in, ick.
Yet I like the dried seed pods <shrug>.
--
Julia Jones
The suespammers.org mail server is located in California; do not send
unsolicited bulk e-mail or unsolicited commercial e-mail to my suespammers.org
address.
Thomas Yan
Subject as The Cootie Theorem of God; now I want to know what such a
theorem would be.
I also thought that, like the DVD being loose when they arrived and
the crappy transfer, another sign of WB's stupidity was that the DVDs
in the B5 S1 set were unnumbered. Um, now that I'm on disk #3, I see
that they are numbered. I guess I treated the strip at the top of the
label as if it were a banner to be ignored, and thus failed to notice
that it had images from the episodes on the DVD and the number of the
DVD.
Whoops.
Bernard Peek
Eloise Beltz-Decker <elo...@ripco.com> writes
>Nuts, for example, make allergenic cooties that
>might kill my betrothed, so are not to be trifled with.
Quite right. I hate nuts in trifle.
--
Bernard Peek
b...@shrdlu.com
www.diversebooks.com: SF & Computing book reviews and more.....
In search of cognoscenti
Mary Kay
> Hm, maybe I'm not getting enough sleep. I initially misread the
> Subject as The Cootie Theorem of God; now I want to know what such a
> theorem would be.
I don't know, but I do know Heather's theory of Cat Cooties. You know
how sometimes a cat will get up, stretch, and move to another piece of
floor or furniture, lie back down, and go back to sleep? All for no
reason you can see? It's because the Cat Cooties have built up to an
uncomfortable level and they have to move.
MKK
--
There are 10 types of people in the world; those who understand binary,
and those who don't.
Johan Anglemark
<Pine.SV4.3.91.102120...@lawson.ripco.com>:
> I thought I'd offer this up for discussion here, as in
>consuite-style discussions face to face, it tends to amuse people a
>lot, and draw interesting opinions.
>
> I believe certain kinds of food have cooties. Bell peppers,
>olives, and raisins, for example, when cooked as part of a dish, cause
>the dish to still taste of them even when they have been picked
>fastidiously out. I believe that '<food-type> cooties' is a very useful
>descriptive concept when attempting to work around food preferences.
>For example, our current roommate detests mushrooms, but does not
>believe they produce cooties, so we can cook things with mushrooms in,
>leave them in biggish chunks, and she'll happily pick them out and
>leave her portion in the pan for the rest of us.
"Cooties" certainly works, I think I mentally use "contagion" to express
this. Hmm, there is really no English verb for "smitta ned; besmitta," is
there? I have a friend who claims that mushrooms *do* actually produce
cooties and refuses to eat anything that has contained mushrooms if she
knows about it. (If she doesn't know she doesn't notice, so I guess they
really don't produce cooties.)
Yeah, like Dorothy pointed out, coffee. A thermos flask that has contained
coffee must be used at least ten times with tea before the vile taste
starts to come off it. And I *like* coffee!
I suppose a food technician would have a neutral word for this, "foodstuffs
with spice-like qualities" or something like that.
-j
--
Kom och träffa Alastair Reynolds
och Ken MacLeod!
Swecon 2003 - Upsala SF-möte X
Uppsala Sweden, 15-17/Aug/2003
http://sfweb.dang.se/2003.html
Dorothy J Heydt
Johan Anglemark <jo...@anglemark.pp.se> wrote:
>Scríobh Eloise Beltz-Decker <elo...@ripco.com> san airteagal
><Pine.SV4.3.91.102120...@lawson.ripco.com>:
>
>> I thought I'd offer this up for discussion here, as in
>>consuite-style discussions face to face, it tends to amuse people a
>>lot, and draw interesting opinions.
>>
>> I believe certain kinds of food have cooties. Bell peppers,
>>olives, and raisins, for example, when cooked as part of a dish, cause
>>the dish to still taste of them even when they have been picked
>>fastidiously out. I believe that '<food-type> cooties' is a very useful
>>descriptive concept when attempting to work around food preferences.
>>For example, our current roommate detests mushrooms, but does not
>>believe they produce cooties, so we can cook things with mushrooms in,
>>leave them in biggish chunks, and she'll happily pick them out and
>>leave her portion in the pan for the rest of us.
>
>"Cooties" certainly works, I think I mentally use "contagion" to express
>this. Hmm, there is really no English verb for "smitta ned; besmitta," is
>there?
It sounds a little like English "smite, smote, smitten," meaning
"hit, strike," is that the meaning" (Note that "smitten with" is
a slightly archaic term for "madly in love with.")
Can you give us a sort of verbose translation that beats the
boundaries of its meaning, so we can make a better guess? On the
order of when I had to translate Maori "tapu" as "holy,
sacrosanct, ritually forbidden and dangerous." That may still
not be an exact translation but it gives some of the idea.
I suspect cooties come in several forms:
1. If I see $FOOD in the dish I'll pick it out and eat the rest;
2. If I see $FOOD in the dish I'll refuse to touch any part of it;
3. If I don't see $FOOD in the dish I'll eat it and (if I can't
taste it either) enjoy it;
4. If I don't see or taste or hear about $FOOD in the dish I'll
eat it and my allergies will kick in and I may die of it.
For at least #1 through #3, the objections may be gustatory (I
loathe the taste of coffee!), psychological (The idea of eating
fertilized eggs squicks me!), religious {I can't eat shrimps,
they aren't kosher!) et cetera, and how helpful the objector's
friends care to be in keeping $FOOD from him/her will depend on
many factors. But the case of #4, where the unheralded presence
of $FOOD may kill somebody, then of course you have to go along
with the objector's criteria and not think "Oh, if we don't tell
him the sauce has mushrooms in it he won't care."
I have a friend who claims that mushrooms *do* actually produce
>cooties and refuses to eat anything that has contained mushrooms if she
>knows about it. (If she doesn't know she doesn't notice, so I guess they
>really don't produce cooties.)
So that's a #3. You can feed her mushrooms without her knowing
it, but it is not kind to do so.
>
>Yeah, like Dorothy pointed out, coffee. A thermos flask that has contained
>coffee must be used at least ten times with tea before the vile taste
>starts to come off it. And I *like* coffee!
See my previous post: solution of sodium bicarbonate, run it
through the coffeemaker or pour it, as hot as is feasible, into
the thermos and let it sit a while.
>
>I suppose a food technician would have a neutral word for this, "foodstuffs
>with spice-like qualities" or something like that.
"Aromatics" I think is the word you're looking for, except that
not all foods with cooties are aromatics. Mushrooms aren't
particularly. Fertilized eggs. Sheep's eyeballs. Eggplant, for
some.
Arthur D. Hlavaty
wrote:
>Hm, maybe I'm not getting enough sleep. I initially misread the
>Subject as The Cootie Theorem of God; now I want to know what such a
>theorem would be.
>
The polite version is that we are made in His image.
--
Arthur D.Hlavaty hla...@panix.com
Church of the SuperGenius in Wile E. we trust
E-zine available on request
Dave Weingart
>current roommate detests mushrooms, but does not believe they produce
>cooties, so we can cook things with mushrooms in, leave them in biggish
For people with mushroom allergies, OTOH...
Thankfully I'm NOT one of them!
--
73 de Dave Weingart KA2ESK Quinze Filk Festival (15th UK Filkcon)
mailto:phyd...@liii.com Feb 7-9,2003, Ipswich, England
http://www.liii.com/~phydeaux http://www.contabile.org.uk/
ICQ 57055207 qui...@contabile.org.uk
Mary Kay
>
> "Cooties" certainly works, I think I mentally use "contagion" to express
> this. Hmm, there is really no English verb for "smitta ned; besmitta,"
Besmirch? Which sort of means to make dirty.
Eloise Beltz-Decker
> I suspect cooties come in several forms:
>
> 1. If I see $FOOD in the dish I'll pick it out and eat the rest;
> 2. If I see $FOOD in the dish I'll refuse to touch any part of it;
> 3. If I don't see $FOOD in the dish I'll eat it and (if I can't
> taste it either) enjoy it;
> 4. If I don't see or taste or hear about $FOOD in the dish I'll
> eat it and my allergies will kick in and I may die of it.
Ahh, no. These are 'Food Preferences.' Cooties is when something
makes a contagious miasma that poisons the rest o the dish to the point
where the eater finds it (a) distasteful, or (b) deadly.
1 is a clear case of non-cootie-generating disliked food (i.e. me and
olives on pizza).
2 might be a true case of cooties, if even when the IckThing is picked
out, the rest of the dish reeks of it.
3 is a case of disproving the existence of cooties for a particular item
(except in the case of religious cooties, which cannot usually be tasted).
4 is cooties of the deadly kind.
There are many variables to food preference, but not all of them
relate to cooties.
--
Eloise Beltz-Decker + elo...@ripco.com + http://www.fishdragon.com/
"The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all
who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they
laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also
laughed at Bozo the Clown." -- Carl Sagan
Ulrika O'Brien
jo...@anglemark.pp.se says...
> Scríobh Eloise Beltz-Decker <elo...@ripco.com> san airteagal
> <Pine.SV4.3.91.102120...@lawson.ripco.com>:
>
> > I thought I'd offer this up for discussion here, as in
> >consuite-style discussions face to face, it tends to amuse people a
> >lot, and draw interesting opinions.
> >
> > I believe certain kinds of food have cooties. Bell peppers,
> >olives, and raisins, for example, when cooked as part of a dish, cause
> >the dish to still taste of them even when they have been picked
> >fastidiously out. I believe that '<food-type> cooties' is a very useful
> >descriptive concept when attempting to work around food preferences.
> >For example, our current roommate detests mushrooms, but does not
> >believe they produce cooties, so we can cook things with mushrooms in,
> >leave them in biggish chunks, and she'll happily pick them out and
> >leave her portion in the pan for the rest of us.
>
> "Cooties" certainly works, I think I mentally use "contagion" to express
> this. Hmm, there is really no English verb for "smitta ned; besmitta,"
> is there?
Er. "Infect" is probably closest. Or "contaminate".
> I have a friend who claims that mushrooms *do* actually produce
> cooties and refuses to eat anything that has contained mushrooms if she
> knows about it. (If she doesn't know she doesn't notice, so I guess they
> really don't produce cooties.)
Depends on the mushrooms. A large portion of the ickiness of mushrooms
is their texture, but some also have a subtle but persistent effluvium
of rot, which can definitely pollute an entire dish.
> Yeah, like Dorothy pointed out, coffee. A thermos flask that has contained
> coffee must be used at least ten times with tea before the vile taste
> starts to come off it. And I *like* coffee!
Yeah, but the taste of coffee *in* tea is nasty.
>
> I suppose a food technician would have a neutral word for this, "foodstuffs
> with spice-like qualities" or something like that.
Or "persistent aromatics".
Julia Jones
Eloise Beltz-Decker <elo...@ripco.com> writes
>On Thu, 5 Dec 2002, Dorothy J Heydt wrote:
>> I suspect cooties come in several forms:
>>
>> 1. If I see $FOOD in the dish I'll pick it out and eat the rest;
>> 2. If I see $FOOD in the dish I'll refuse to touch any part of it;
>> 3. If I don't see $FOOD in the dish I'll eat it and (if I can't
>> taste it either) enjoy it;
>> 4. If I don't see or taste or hear about $FOOD in the dish I'll
>> eat it and my allergies will kick in and I may die of it.
>
> Ahh, no. These are 'Food Preferences.' Cooties is when something
>makes a contagious miasma that poisons the rest o the dish to the point
>where the eater finds it (a) distasteful, or (b) deadly.
b) does not need to be "deadly", just "makes one spend the next day
regretting having eaten it". It was a lovely vegetarian lasagne I had a
couple of weeks ago, pity nobody told me about the soya mince that I
presume from the results must have been in it...
And there can be things that are both "ick" and "regret making one
having eaten it". Not a cootie as such, since it's *supposed* to be a
seasoning, but one of my major sore points (in both the literal and
metaphorical senses) is people who put loads of chilli into food and
then say "but it's just lightly seasoned, I don't put much in, go on,
try a bit, you'll love it!" I am both a supertaster and someone who has
only mostly recovered from irritable bowel syndrome...
Michael J. Lowrey
> I suspect cooties come in several forms:
>
> 1. If I see $FOOD in the dish I'll pick it out and eat the rest;
>
> 2. If I see $FOOD in the dish I'll refuse to touch any part of it;
>
> 3. If I don't see $FOOD in the dish I'll eat it and (if I can't
> taste it either) enjoy it;
With several foods, I'm of class 3A: I may not see it, but I can taste
it if it was cooked with the food, and loath the taste sufficiently that
it spoils (or at least diminishes) the dish for me. Green peppers
("There's only one vegetable even hogs have the good taste not to eat."
-- Garrett, P.I.), asparagus, caraway, celery...
--
Michael J. Lowrey
Christopher K Davis
> If you think about it, some of the kosher laws are very usefully
> explained by means of 'milchig cooties' and 'meat cooties'.
Which, when mixed, produce treifons (these are effectively the
antiparticle of parevons).
--
Christopher Davis * <ckd...@ckdhr.com> * <URL:http://www.ckdhr.com/ckd/>
Of course I feel old. The videos I used to watch on MTV (back when they
still showed videos) moved to VH1, and now they're on "VH1 Classic".
Andrew Plotkin
> Eloise Beltz-Decker <elo...@ripco.com> writes:
>> If you think about it, some of the kosher laws are very usefully
>> explained by means of 'milchig cooties' and 'meat cooties'.
> Which, when mixed, produce treifons (these are effectively the
> antiparticle of parevons).
Can't be the antiparticle. If you mix kosher and treyf, you get more
treyf, *not* a blast of gamma rays powerful enough to vaporize your
house.
Mind you, if God had arranged physics that way, he would have gotten a
*hell* of a lot better compliance on the whole kashrut thing.
--Z
"And Aholibamah bare Jeush, and Jaalam, and Korah: these were the borogoves..."
*
* Make your vote count. Get your vote counted.
Heather Jones
>
> Thomas Yan <ty...@twcny.rr.com> wrote:
>
> > Hm, maybe I'm not getting enough sleep. I initially misread the
> > Subject as The Cootie Theorem of God; now I want to know what such a
> > theorem would be.
>
> I don't know, but I do know Heather's theory of Cat Cooties. You know
> how sometimes a cat will get up, stretch, and move to another piece of
> floor or furniture, lie back down, and go back to sleep? All for no
> reason you can see? It's because the Cat Cooties have built up to an
> uncomfortable level and they have to move.
The Cat Cootie theory is one of my Three Laws of Feline-dynamics.
The full theory goes like this:
- Cats continually emit sub-atomic particles known as "cat
cooties" which build up in the location where they are emitted**.
- The rate at which these particles are emitted is inversely
proportional to the local concentration of built-up cat cooties.
- Cat cootie emission is pleasurable to the cat, and higher
emission rates are more pleasurable than lower emission rates.
- Cat cooties can be removed from the environment by a number of
methods, of which the simplest is ordinary laundering.
- This is the reason why stacks of freshly laundered items are,
under most circumstances, highly attractive to cats.
**Cat also continually emit such things as hair, of course, and
build-ups of hair are often a clue to the presence of high
concentrations of cat cooties, but the two are entirely separate
classes of emission.
Another Law of Feline-dynamics, also related to the emission of
sub-atomic particles and their pleasurable effects on cats, is
the "Attent-Ion emission theory". It runs something like this.
- Human brainwaves, when the mind is focused on a particular
object in the environment, cause the brain to emit particles
known as "Attent-Ions" in the direction of the focal object.
- Cats are not only able to perceive the emission of attent-ions
physically, but consider the passage of attent-ions through their
bodies to be pleasurable.
- In order to experience this phenomenon, the cat will place
itself between a human and the subject of that human's interest.
I'm still working on coming up with ... uh ... identifying the
Third Law of Feline-Dynamics so that I can publish. I fully
expect it to win me a Nobel Prize in the field. (As soon as
anyone can figure out what field that would be.)
Heather
--
*****
Heather Rose Jones
hrj...@socrates.berkeley.edu
*****
Kip Williams
> I'm still working on coming up with ... uh ... identifying the
> Third Law of Feline-Dynamics so that I can publish. I fully
> expect it to win me a Nobel Prize in the field. (As soon as
> anyone can figure out what field that would be.)
Perhaps an explanation of why a cat always chooses to be where your
next step is headed.
--
--Kip (Williams) ...at members.cox.net/kipw
"Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons!" --Kodos
Avram Grumer
Arthur D. Hlavaty <hla...@panix.com> wrote:
> On Wed, 04 Dec 2002 23:21:06 -0500, Thomas Yan <ty...@twcny.rr.com>
> wrote:
>
> >Hm, maybe I'm not getting enough sleep. I initially misread the
> >Subject as The Cootie Theorem of God; now I want to know what such a
> >theorem would be.
>
> The polite version is that we are made in His image.
I can imagine a Gospel according to Kafka, wherein a divine transcendent
being wakes up one morning to find himself incarnated as a repulsive
meat entity.
--
Avram Grumer | av...@grumer.org | http://www.PigsAndFishes.org
A man said to the universe, "Sir, I exist!"
"So do I," replied the universe, "but I'll be sober in the morning!"
Dorothy J Heydt
Avram Grumer <av...@grumer.org> wrote:
>In article <r9muuus2s857d83fl...@4ax.com>,
> Arthur D. Hlavaty <hla...@panix.com> wrote:
>
>> On Wed, 04 Dec 2002 23:21:06 -0500, Thomas Yan <ty...@twcny.rr.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>> >Hm, maybe I'm not getting enough sleep. I initially misread the
>> >Subject as The Cootie Theorem of God; now I want to know what such a
>> >theorem would be.
>>
>> The polite version is that we are made in His image.
>
>I can imagine a Gospel according to Kafka, wherein a divine transcendent
>being wakes up one morning to find himself incarnated as a repulsive
>meat entity.
C. S. Lewis somewhere or other, talking about the Incarnation,
remarks, "Think how you would feel being incarnated as an
oyster."
Thomas Yan
localized: Just because it is good in one context does not mean it is
good in another.
I like the sandiness of sugar (sometimes I like something to be
sweeter, but would rather the sugar didn't dissolve), crystallized
honey, and the yolks of salted eggs. But any indication of sand in
vegetables or things like oysters is unpleasant. True, actual sand is
much harder than the sandiness of things I first listed, but I suspect
a texture like sugar crystals in spinach or oysters would be
offputting to me.
Heather Jones
>
> Heather Jones wrote:
> > I'm still working on coming up with ... uh ... identifying the
> > Third Law of Feline-Dynamics so that I can publish. I fully
> > expect it to win me a Nobel Prize in the field. (As soon as
> > anyone can figure out what field that would be.)
>
> Perhaps an explanation of why a cat always chooses to be where your
> next step is headed.
Hmm, that has possibilities. I shall ponder on it.
Kip Williams
> In article <avram-E4106B....@reader1.panix.com>,
> Avram Grumer <av...@grumer.org> wrote:
>
>>In article <r9muuus2s857d83fl...@4ax.com>,
>>Arthur D. Hlavaty <hla...@panix.com> wrote:
>>
>>>On Wed, 04 Dec 2002 23:21:06 -0500, Thomas Yan <ty...@twcny.rr.com>
>>>wrote:
>>>
>>>>Hm, maybe I'm not getting enough sleep. I initially misread the
>>>>Subject as The Cootie Theorem of God; now I want to know what such a
>>>>theorem would be.
>>>
>>>The polite version is that we are made in His image.
>>
>>I can imagine a Gospel according to Kafka, wherein a divine transcendent
>>being wakes up one morning to find himself incarnated as a repulsive
>>meat entity.
>
> C. S. Lewis somewhere or other, talking about the Incarnation,
> remarks, "Think how you would feel being incarnated as an
> oyster."
It was a National Lampoon cartoon, I think by S. Harris, with
various creatures all thinking to themselves, "And God created
woodpecker in His own image," "And God created anteater in His own
image," and so on.
Kip Williams
> Kip Williams wrote:
>
>>Heather Jones wrote:
>>
>>>I'm still working on coming up with ... uh ... identifying the
>>>Third Law of Feline-Dynamics so that I can publish. I fully
>>>expect it to win me a Nobel Prize in the field. (As soon as
>>>anyone can figure out what field that would be.)
>>
>>Perhaps an explanation of why a cat always chooses to be where your
>>next step is headed.
>
>
> Hmm, that has possibilities. I shall ponder on it.
Maybe shoes have anti-cat cooties on them. Or some sort of field.
Just think of the applications. A shoe that repels cats! A perpetual
motion machine consisting of cats and shoes!
Maybe, in all those old cartoons, people weren't throwing shoes at
cats on the back fence -- maybe the cats actually attracted the shoes.
Gotta go. Time for my meds.
Johan Anglemark
<MPG.18592100a...@news.earthlink.net>:
>jo...@anglemark.pp.se says...
>> "Cooties" certainly works, I think I mentally use "contagion" to
>> express this. Hmm, there is really no English verb for "smitta ned;
>> besmitta," is there?
>
>Er. "Infect" is probably closest. Or "contaminate".
Ah, yes. "Infect" works for diseases and "contaminate" is the word I should
have used with food. Thank you.
>> I have a friend who claims that mushrooms *do* actually produce
>> cooties and refuses to eat anything that has contained mushrooms if
>> she knows about it. (If she doesn't know she doesn't notice, so I
>> guess they really don't produce cooties.)
>
>Depends on the mushrooms. A large portion of the ickiness of mushrooms
>is their texture, but some also have a subtle but persistent effluvium
>of rot, which can definitely pollute an entire dish.
I guess this is what my friend experiences.
>> Yeah, like Dorothy pointed out, coffee. A thermos flask that has
>> contained coffee must be used at least ten times with tea before the
>> vile taste starts to come off it. And I *like* coffee!
>
>Yeah, but the taste of coffee *in* tea is nasty.
More particularly the taste of *stale* coffee in tea.
Johan Anglemark
<H6n1G...@kithrup.com>:
>>"Cooties" certainly works, I think I mentally use "contagion" to
>>express this. Hmm, there is really no English verb for "smitta ned;
>>besmitta," is there?
>
>It sounds a little like English "smite, smote, smitten," meaning
>"hit, strike," is that the meaning" (Note that "smitten with" is
>a slightly archaic term for "madly in love with.")
>
>Can you give us a sort of verbose translation that beats the
>boundaries of its meaning, so we can make a better guess?
Ulrika was spot on, "infect" for diseases and "contaminate" in the other
cases.
I think smite is probably the English cognate. I hazard to guess that the
word has developed the current meaning in Swedish from an expression
meaning *"smite with disease".
Aah, M-W online says:
-----------------------
Main Entry: smite
Pronunciation: 'smIt
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): smote /'smOt/; smit·ten /'smi-t&n/; or smote; smit·ing
/'smI-ti[ng]/
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English smItan to smear, defile; akin
to Old High German bismIzan to defile
Date: 12th century
transitive senses
1 : to strike sharply or heavily especially with the hand or an implement
held in the hand
2 a : to kill or severely injure by smiting b : to attack or afflict
suddenly and injuriously <smitten by disease>
-----------------------
Yes, 2 b is it!
Eloise Beltz-Decker
>
> I can imagine a Gospel according to Kafka, wherein a divine transcendent
> being wakes up one morning to find himself incarnated as a repulsive
> meat entity.
ObSF: This resembles, somewhat, swaths of Pratchett's _The Thief
of Time_, in which the Auditors take on human form and then get tripped
up by the complexities of embodification.
Eloise Beltz-Decker
> Maybe shoes have anti-cat cooties on them. Or some sort of field.
Actually, if shoes annihilate cat cooties, then cats should be
attracted to them. Which explains, somewhat, why this cat we had when I
was a kid used to tunnel into my Dad's shoes right after he took them
off, with all indications of bliss. It looked somewhat like a
catnip-enjoyment fit.
Thomas Yan
> Kip Williams wrote:
>>
>> Heather Jones wrote:
>> > I'm still working on coming up with ... uh ... identifying the
>> > Third Law of Feline-Dynamics so that I can publish. I fully
>> > expect it to win me a Nobel Prize in the field. (As soon as
>> > anyone can figure out what field that would be.)
>>
>> Perhaps an explanation of why a cat always chooses to be where your
>> next step is headed.
>
> Hmm, that has possibilities. I shall ponder on it.
It wants you to follow in its footsteps.
See, it has to bring you dead rodents and such to teach you to hunt.
And since you obviously can't walk without tripping on the cat, you
need to be taught how to talk. So it is trailblazing for you, you
!#$!@#$@ clumsy oaf!
Del Cotter
Johan Anglemark <jo...@anglemark.pp.se> said:
>Scríobh djh...@kithrup.com (Dorothy J Heydt)
>>>"Cooties" certainly works, I think I mentally use "contagion" to
>>>express this. Hmm, there is really no English verb for "smitta ned;
>>>besmitta," is there?
>>
>>It sounds a little like English "smite, smote, smitten," meaning
>>"hit, strike," is that the meaning" (Note that "smitten with" is
>>a slightly archaic term for "madly in love with.")
>Ulrika was spot on, "infect" for diseases and "contaminate" in the other
>cases.
>
>I think smite is probably the English cognate. I hazard to guess that the
>word has developed the current meaning in Swedish from an expression
>meaning *"smite with disease".
"Strike" is also a common word for diseases, especially in farming.
--
. . . . Del Cotter d...@branta.demon.co.uk . . . .
JustRead:OfRice&Salt:BenJeapesHisMajesty'sStarship:BrendaWCloughTheDoors
OfDeath&Life:LoisMcMasterBujoldDiplomaticImmunity:NeilGaimanAmericanGods
ToRead:GwynethJonesBoldAsLove:KenMacLeodDarkLight:RobertCharlesWilsonBio
James J. Walton
On Thu, 5 Dec 2002, Heather Jones wrote:
> Kip Williams wrote:
> >
> > Heather Jones wrote:
> > > I'm still working on coming up with ... uh ... identifying the
> > > Third Law of Feline-Dynamics so that I can publish. I fully
> > > expect it to win me a Nobel Prize in the field. (As soon as
> > > anyone can figure out what field that would be.)
> >
> > Perhaps an explanation of why a cat always chooses to be where your
> > next step is headed.
>
> Hmm, that has possibilities. I shall ponder on it.
Which reminds me of a story I read many years ago in which a pair of cats
regularly traveled back and forth in time for various arcane reasons.
A couple of years ago I was visiting at the home of a Science Fiction
author. She had several cats. It was obvious that the cats were plotting
world domination. Fortunately they couldn't stay awake long enough to put
their plans into action.
Kip Williams
> On Fri, 6 Dec 2002, Kip Williams wrote:
>
>>Maybe shoes have anti-cat cooties on them. Or some sort of field.
>
> Actually, if shoes annihilate cat cooties, then cats should be
> attracted to them.
That's what I said. Should I have used more hyphens?
> Which explains, somewhat, why this cat we had when I
> was a kid used to tunnel into my Dad's shoes right after he took them
> off, with all indications of bliss. It looked somewhat like a
> catnip-enjoyment fit.
I remember various cats -- usually momma cats, it seemed -- who
wanted to burrow into my armpit. Interesting sensation. More
recently, I was amused when a friend's cat crawled into my downfill
jacket and all the way out to the end of the sleeve, where it gazed
out at us with that "Yeah, I'm in this sleeve. And I Like it. So
what?" expression, which my friend obligingly photographed.
James Nicoll
>
>I remember various cats -- usually momma cats, it seemed -- who
>wanted to burrow into my armpit. Interesting sensation. More
>recently, I was amused when a friend's cat crawled into my downfill
>jacket and all the way out to the end of the sleeve, where it gazed
>out at us with that "Yeah, I'm in this sleeve. And I Like it. So
>what?" expression, which my friend obligingly photographed.
Last night Groucho discovered that he liked my slippers. To
properly capture the moment I would have needed something with audio
recording, to capture the crack-fiend snorting as he forced his head
deeper into the slipper. I am happy I wasn't wearing it at the time.
--
"Repress the urge to sprout wings or self-ignite!...This man's an
Episcopalian!...They have definite views."
Pibgorn Oct 31/02
Heather Jones
>
> Heather Jones wrote:
> > Kip Williams wrote:
> >
> >>Heather Jones wrote:
> >>
> >>>I'm still working on coming up with ... uh ... identifying the
> >>>Third Law of Feline-Dynamics so that I can publish. I fully
> >>>expect it to win me a Nobel Prize in the field. (As soon as
> >>>anyone can figure out what field that would be.)
> >>
> >>Perhaps an explanation of why a cat always chooses to be where your
> >>next step is headed.
> >
> >
> > Hmm, that has possibilities. I shall ponder on it.
>
> Maybe shoes have anti-cat cooties on them. Or some sort of field.
>
> Just think of the applications. A shoe that repels cats! A perpetual
> motion machine consisting of cats and shoes!
>
> Maybe, in all those old cartoons, people weren't throwing shoes at
> cats on the back fence -- maybe the cats actually attracted the shoes.
I think we may be onto something here. I promise I shall
acknowledge you in a footnote. :)
Heather Jones
>
> On Fri, 6 Dec 2002, Kip Williams wrote:
>
> > Maybe shoes have anti-cat cooties on them. Or some sort of field.
>
> Actually, if shoes annihilate cat cooties, then cats should be
> attracted to them.
I think the idea was that we need to develop _special_ shoes
that, contrary to the laws of nature, would be cat-repellent.
>Which explains, somewhat, why this cat we had when I
> was a kid used to tunnel into my Dad's shoes right after he took them
> off, with all indications of bliss. It looked somewhat like a
> catnip-enjoyment fit.
Indeed, I've known them to treat human feet like a catnip mouse.
Clearly we're on the track of a third type of feline-relevant
sub-atomic particle. Or perhaps what we have is a natural
side-effect of unused Attent-Ions. Perhaps they have a natural
tendency to sink through the human body when not being directed
towards any particular object, and when built up to a critical
level in the feet, they leak into the environment. Residual
levels may build up in shoes, leading to that particular effect.
And this would also explain why you're most likely to trip over a
cat when you're not paying attention.
Kip Williams
Thanks! I'm a size 12 (US).
Marilee J. Layman
<elo...@ripco.com> wrote:
>On Fri, 6 Dec 2002, Kip Williams wrote:
>
>> Maybe shoes have anti-cat cooties on them. Or some sort of field.
>
> Actually, if shoes annihilate cat cooties, then cats should be
>attracted to them. Which explains, somewhat, why this cat we had when I
>was a kid used to tunnel into my Dad's shoes right after he took them
>off, with all indications of bliss. It looked somewhat like a
>catnip-enjoyment fit.
Both of my orientals like to rub their faces on and stick their noses
in my leather shoes. In fact, when I wore out the last pair, I took
the laces out and left them on the floor so Spirit & Giorgio could
love them.
--
Marilee J. Layman
Bali Sterling Beads at Wholesale
http://www.basicbali.com
Ben Schilling
<hrj...@socrates.berkeley.edu> wrote:
>I'm still working on coming up with ... uh ... identifying the
>Third Law of Feline-Dynamics so that I can publish. I fully
>expect it to win me a Nobel Prize in the field. (As soon as
>anyone can figure out what field that would be.)
>
>Heather
Have you heard of the Cat Theory of Gravity, as explained by Robin
Wood? It's explained in a book with a similar title.
Ben Schilling
Ben Schilling
benjamin....@gte.net
Kevin J. Maroney
>Eloise Beltz-Decker wrote:
>> On Fri, 6 Dec 2002, Kip Williams wrote:
>>
>>>Maybe shoes have anti-cat cooties on them. Or some sort of field.
>>
>> Actually, if shoes annihilate cat cooties, then cats should be
>> attracted to them.
>
>That's what I said. Should I have used more hyphens?
<pedant>cat anti-cooties</pedant>
--
Kevin J. Maroney | k...@panix.com
Games are my entire waking life.
Arthur D. Hlavaty
<jjwa...@telerama.com> wrote:
>A couple of years ago I was visiting at the home of a Science Fiction
>author. She had several cats. It was obvious that the cats were plotting
>world domination. Fortunately they couldn't stay awake long enough to put
>their plans into action.
A recent series of _Get Fuzzy_ comics had that theme. The cats had
names like Meow Tse-Tung, Pinochat, and Feral Catstro.
--
Arthur D.Hlavaty hla...@panix.com
Church of the SuperGenius in Wile E. we trust
E-zine available on request
Andrew Plotkin
> On Fri, 6 Dec 2002 09:00:44 -0600, Eloise Beltz-Decker
> <elo...@ripco.com> wrote:
>> Actually, if shoes annihilate cat cooties, then cats should be
>>attracted to them. Which explains, somewhat, why this cat we had when I
>>was a kid used to tunnel into my Dad's shoes right after he took them
>>off, with all indications of bliss. It looked somewhat like a
>>catnip-enjoyment fit.
> Both of my orientals like to rub their faces on and stick their noses
> in my leather shoes. In fact, when I wore out the last pair, I took
> the laces out and left them on the floor so Spirit & Giorgio could
> love them.
My backpack is a sure-fire cat attractor. Apparently my back smells
nice, or something.
The Blue Rose
<elo...@ripco.com> scribed in cyber virtuality
> I thought I'd offer this up for discussion here, as in
>consuite-style discussions face to face, it tends to amuse people a lot,
>and draw interesting opinions.
>
> I believe certain kinds of food have cooties. Bell peppers,
>olives, and raisins, for example, when cooked as part of a dish, cause the
>dish to still taste of them even when they have been picked fastidiously
>out.*snip*
CUCUMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Olives
Celery
oh yes and cucumber!!!!!!!!!!!!
Horrible stuff
Stacey
--
Stacey Hill "I started out with nothing... I still have most of it"
http://www.geocities.com/terragenblue for TERRAGEN and XENODREAM images
Simon van Dongen
>It was a National Lampoon cartoon, I think by S. Harris, with
>various creatures all thinking to themselves, "And God created
>woodpecker in His own image," "And God created anteater in His own
>image," and so on.
>
The philosopher Xenophon had that idea at least 24 centuries before S.
Harris (or whoever) did.
Simon
--
Simon van Dongen <sg...@xs4all.nl> Rotterdam, The Netherlands
...For best results, avoid doing stupid things...
(http://www.kleinbottle.com/klein_bottle_hats.htm)
Marilee J. Layman
Blue Rose) wrote:
>On Wed, 4 Dec 2002 16:28:23 -0600, Eloise Beltz-Decker
><elo...@ripco.com> scribed in cyber virtuality
>
>> I thought I'd offer this up for discussion here, as in
>>consuite-style discussions face to face, it tends to amuse people a lot,
>>and draw interesting opinions.
>>
>> I believe certain kinds of food have cooties. Bell peppers,
>>olives, and raisins, for example, when cooked as part of a dish, cause the
>>dish to still taste of them even when they have been picked fastidiously
>>out.*snip*
>
>CUCUMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, cucumber! I have two of them in the fridge. I'm going to cut
slices, scoop out a hole, and put cream cheese (onion & garlic) in.
mmm
Kip Williams
> On or about Fri, 06 Dec 2002 04:15:12 GMT, Kip Williams wrote:
>
>>It was a National Lampoon cartoon, I think by S. Harris, with
>>various creatures all thinking to themselves, "And God created
>>woodpecker in His own image," "And God created anteater in His own
>>image," and so on.
>
> The philosopher Xenophon had that idea at least 24 centuries before S.
> Harris (or whoever) did.
Yes, but S. Harris (I'll just assume it was him) still managed to
get paid at the standard Lampoon rate for a cartoon, and Xenophon
doesn't get a cent. (Who's laughing now, eh? "S" "Harris"?)
Kip Williams
> In article <3DF02757...@cox.net>, Kip Williams <ki...@cox.net> wrote:
>
>>Maybe shoes have anti-cat cooties on them. Or some sort of field.
>>
>>Just think of the applications. A shoe that repels cats! A perpetual
>>motion machine consisting of cats and shoes!
>
>
> 1) strap a piece bread, butter-side up, to the back of a cat.
>
> 2) drop over a carpet.
Not sure it'd work (having seen a cat fail to land on its paws), but
it ought to be worth a grant. And isn't that what -really- matters?
Marilee J. Layman
>Paul Ciszek wrote:
>> In article <3DF02757...@cox.net>, Kip Williams <ki...@cox.net> wrote:
>>
>>>Maybe shoes have anti-cat cooties on them. Or some sort of field.
>>>
>>>Just think of the applications. A shoe that repels cats! A perpetual
>>>motion machine consisting of cats and shoes!
>>
>> A simpler design:
>>
>> 1) strap a piece bread, butter-side up, to the back of a cat.
>>
>> 2) drop over a carpet.
>
>Not sure it'd work (having seen a cat fail to land on its paws), but
>it ought to be worth a grant. And isn't that what -really- matters?
My cat would land on its feet, but then roll over to try to get the
weird thing off its back.
Cally Soukup
>>
>>Just think of the applications. A shoe that repels cats! A perpetual
>>motion machine consisting of cats and shoes!
> A simpler design:
> 1) strap a piece bread, butter-side up, to the back of a cat.
> 2) drop over a carpet.
3) Cat twists in mid-air and licks the butter off the bread.
4) Cat lands on feet.
--
"I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend
to the death your right to say it." -- Beatrice Hall
Cally Soukup sou...@pobox.com
Simon van Dongen
Anyone have a good (uncomplicated) recipe for pickling cucumbers
handy? What else should I do besides cutting them up and adding
vinegar? The shops here seem to have enormous ranges of pickled
gherkins, but no pickled cucumber. The only recipe I've found so far
called for salting them intensely first, which wasn't a great success.
Irina Rempt
> Anyone have a good (uncomplicated) recipe for pickling cucumbers
> handy? What else should I do besides cutting them up and adding
> vinegar? The shops here seem to have enormous ranges of pickled
> gherkins, but no pickled cucumber. The only recipe I've found so far
> called for salting them intensely first, which wasn't a great success.
You do want to salt your cucumbers to get some of the water out. A
cucumber is at least 90% water, and all of that is going to dilute your
vinegar. But a tablespoonful of salt for two medium-sized cucumbers (my
fingers typed "computers" there) will be enough.
<rummage> My mother's pickled cucumber recipe:
Makes 4 jars.
- 2 medium-sized cucumbers (try to get thin ones)
- 3/4 litre *strong* vinegar (try the toko; add vinegar essence if
necessary)
- 1 tablespoon salt
- 100-200 grams sugar according to taste (artificial sweetener won't do
unless you add a preservative)
- spices of your choice (dill and/or mustard seed is traditional, but I
prefer cinnamon, cloves and mace)
Clean the jars with a hot (almost boiling) solution of washing soda,
rinse with hot water and put on a clean cloth upside-down. Ditto for
the lids (though those should be put on the clean cloth right side up
so they drain).
Cut up the cucumbers, removing the seeds (that's where most of the water
is). Put in a colander and sprinkle with the salt. Shake it. Leave for
a few hours, then rinse and drain thoroughly.
Put everything else in a saucepan and heat until the sugar is dissolved
and the solution is boiling. Reduce the heat, but leave the saucepan
on. Upend the jars and divide the cucumber among them. They should be
full or almost full.
Top up each jar with the hot vinegar solution, taking care to divide the
spices equally. Close immediately and turn the jars upside-down again.
Take care to keep the jars on the cloth all the time; it protects
against bursting.
Hmm, I should do some, the Turkish grocery has cheap cucumbers... It
also works with unripe watermelon or green tomatoes.
Irina
--
Vesta veran, terna puran, farenin. http://www.valdyas.org/irina
Beghinnen can ick, volherden will' ick, volbringhen sal ick.
Andrew Plotkin
> Anyone have a good (uncomplicated) recipe for pickling cucumbers
> handy? What else should I do besides cutting them up and adding
> vinegar?
At risk of descending into unrelieved fanboyism, I will recommend
Alton Brown's pickle recipes.
Basically, you cut them up, and then pour on a boiling-temperature
mixture of vinegar, water, sugar, and salt. Plus spices.
* Kinda Sorta Sours
1/2 onion, thinly sliced
2 medium cucumbers, thinly sliced
1 cup water
1 cup cider vinegar
1/2 cup champagne vinegar
1/2 cup sugar
2 tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons kosher salt
1 teaspoon mustard seeds
1/4 teaspoon turmeric
1 teaspoon celery seeds
1 teaspoon pickling spice
4 whole garlic cloves, smashed
Combine the onion and cucumber slices in a clean spring-top jar.
(Make thin but broad slices. They will shrink.)
Combine the remaining ingredients, with the exception of the garlic,
in a non-reactive saucepan. Bring to a boil and simmer for 4 full
minutes to wake up the spice flavors.
Add the garlic cloves to the jar. Slowly and gently pour the pickling
liquid over the onion and cucumber slices, filling to the top of the
jar.
Cool to room temperature. Top off the pickles with any remaining
pickling liquid and refrigerate.
Daniel R. Reitman
<hrj...@socrates.berkeley.edu> wrote:
>Kip Williams wrote:
>> Perhaps an explanation of why a cat always chooses to be where your
>> next step is headed.
>Hmm, that has possibilities. I shall ponder on it.
The problem is that eventually you'll have to explain how this is
consistent with feline superstring theory. =^.^=
Dan, ad nauseam
Heather Jones
What's to explain? Feline sees string. Feline thinks, "Super!"
Feline plays with string. No theory -- observable fact.