Razzies "Worst Movies of the Year" Nominations announced - Pick your choiches
O Deus
For Worst Picture it's
DRIVEN (Franchise Pictures/Warner Bros.)
FREDDY GOT FINGERED (20th Century-Fox)
GLITTER (20th Century-Fox/Columbia Pictures)
PEARL HARBOR (Touchstone/Disney)
3000 MILES TO GRACELAND (Franchise/Warner Bros.)
---- My personal pick is Driven because there's nothing funnier than
watching Sylvester Stallone ruin the last shreds of his career, unless
it's watching Burt Reynolds ruin the last shreds of his come back
post-Oscar career.----
WORST ACTOR:
Ben Affleck/PEARL HARBOR
Kevin Costner/3000 MILES TO GRACELAND
Tom Green/FREDDY GOT FINGERED
Keanu Reeves/HARDBALL and SWEET NOVEMBER
John Travolta/DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE and SWORDFISH
----That's a tough choiche, since none of these can act. Travolta
can't stop compulsively smirking, it may be a facial tic. Kevin
Costner keeps confusing himself with a major star. Ben Affleck keeps
starring in movies, no one is sure why. Tom Green lost his mind and
Keanu Reeves never had one to begin with.----
WORST ACTRESS:
Mariah Carey/GLITTER
Penelope Cruz/BLOW CAPTAIN CORELLI'S MANDOLIN and VANILLA SKY
Angelina Jolie/LARA CROFT: TOMB RAIDER and ORIGINAL SIN
Jennifer Lopez/ANGEL EYES and THE WEDDING PLANNER
Charlize Theron/SWEET NOVEMBER
---- Well since no one in their right mind saw Sweet November or
Glitter or Mandollin or Angel Eyes or...what was point again?----
WORST SCREEN COUPLE:
Ben Affleck & EITHER Kate Beckinsale or Josh Hartnett/PEARL HARBOR
Mariah Carey's Cleavage/GLITTER
Tom Green & Any Animal He Abuses/FREDDY GOT FINGERED
Burt Reynolds & Sylvester Stallone/DRIVEN
Kurt Russell & EITHER Kevin Costner or Courtney Cox/3000 MILES TO
GRACELAND
---- I pick Burt Reynolds and a slow motion shot of an exploding race
car ----
WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR:
Max Beesley/GLITTER
Charlton Heston/CATS & DOGS, PLANET OF THE APES and TOWN & COUNTRY
Burt Reynolds/DRIVEN
Sylvester Stallone/DRIVEN
Rip Torn/FREDDY GOT FINGERED
---- No really inspiring choiches this year. Can't we bring back such
nominees as Martin Landau in BAPS and ED TV or Walter Matthau in
Hanging Up, in which Nora Ephron finally managed to kill off an actor
with one of her movies----
WORST REMAKE or SEQUEL:
CROCODILE DUNDEE in L.A. (Paramount)
JURASSIC PARK III (Universal)
PEARL HARBOR (Touchstone/Disney)
PLANET OF THE APES (20th Century-Fox)
SWEET NOVEMBER (Warner Bros.)
----Well Planet of the Apes had an ending that made no sense, Pearl
Harbor had three hours of running time that made no sense, Sweet
November had two stars without a single working synapse between them
and Jurrasic Park III was proof that God no longer exists. Still
Crocodile Dundee must force any thinking film critic to reevaluate the
cinematic value of Paul Hogan's Subaru commercials. ---
WORST DIRECTOR:
Michael Bay/PEARL HARBOR
Peter Chelsom (w/Warren Beatty) TOWN & COUNTRY
Tom Green/FREDDY GOT FINGERED
Vondie Curtis Hall/GLITTER
Renny Harlin/DRIVEN
----- I think there's no question that Warren Beaty deserves a special
award for taking an ensemble comedy and turning it into a worse bomb
than a widely hated big budget SF extravaganza like Waterworld or the
Postman. He does deserve something for that. I'm not sure what but he
definetly deserves it. ----
WORST SCREENPLAY:
DRIVEN Screenplay by Sylvester Stallone, Story by Jan Skrentny & Neal
Tabachnick
FREDDY GOT FINGERED Written by Tom Green & Derek Harvie
GLITTER Screenplay by Kate Lanier, Story by Cheryl L. West
PEARL HARBOR Written by Randall Wallace
3000 MILES TO GRACELAND Written by Richard Recco and Demian
Lichtenstein
---- Well for lobotomized chimps, I think Stallone and Green make
great screenwriters. Should genetic tests uncover the possibility that
they're human, their ranking should probably then be reviewed.----
Dorothy J Heydt
O Deus <od...@bigfoot.com> wrote:
[long list of bad flicks schnipped]
I feel so good; I haven't seen one single one of those, and that
in a year, in the latter half of which I saw more films than in
the last several years put together. (Four, each twice.)
Dorothy J. Heydt
Albany, California
djh...@kithrup.com
http://www.kithrup.com/~djheydt